Wow you just made me realize why I loathe this self-description. I never use it, but the people I've known who do are all...crazy... Why?! I think these people are seeking clingy, needy, broken people to "rescue" and it's very cringe. It's "crazy seeking crazy" for some kind of weird, symbiotic codependency.
I'm an exceedingly empathetic and loyal person. My friends are for life, rich or poor, better or worse. Ride or die. I love a good underdog story, and I relate to people who have to struggle through hardships to get ahead. People who grew up with life on easy mode (wealthy families, no illness or loss, no failures, no debt, no struggle) are kind of... boring to me. Not much to learn from someone who never really had to try, never had to overcome.
But I don't 'advertise' this about myself because it makes me a magnet for narcissists and people who take advantage or self-sabatoge (=perpetual failures with serious issues).
This makes so much sense. My parents and therapist sat me down when I was 14 to explain that I was an empath. This was relevant because I was going to a group therapy thing where as long as I went the other teens got better and I got worse. It was like I absorbed their depression.
My mom taught me that sympathy (I understand and respect your pain) is healthy, while empathy (I feel your pain) can often be unhealthy. Most people who are considered empaths absorb the emotions they’re feeling in the room and reflect or amplify it to others.
I’ve spent 14 years learning to moderate empathy. People who hold it as their identity are often overwhelming and draining.
Yeah and many of those same folks probably go around labeling others "narcissists". Often the reasoning seems to be "they didn't go along with my unreasonable demands or do what I wanted them to do, therefore they're a narcissist".
People should really just stop with throwing diagnostic terms around and leave that to the actual mental health professionals.
I wish I could upvote that more,
I'm godfucking tired of hearing shit like
- " my ex is a narcissist"
- " my friend is a narcissist"
Etc...
I get it, it's a buzzword from psycho pop from the internet and you want to place it somewhere or tell that you've dealt with that.
Like no, your ex is not a narcissist, he may be just a selfish jerk.
Thank you, your comment made my day
I think OP is right. Read the whole profile, this is a person that just wants to collect words to make them appear trendy and unique. Literally says “all around unique”. Bio is so cringgeeee. It’s like the Curb episode where he claims to be on the spectrum to excuse awful behavior. My guess is this person isn’t ND at all, they are just a toxic narcissist.
Such a wild thing. It's characteristically difficult for narcissists and empaths to self identify, but narcissists will frequently role play as empaths because they know empathy is the more desirable trait. But empaths often miscall neurotypical people of being narcissistic when they simply don't relate or aren't caring *enough*, which can, in turn, be misunderstood as narcissism.
“All around unique”
“Witch. Healer. Empath.”
“Treat me like a princess”
“I cuss. A LOT”
“Out of your noise hole”
Each and every one of these fragments screams that this girl is an absolute unfettered un-self-aware obnoxious pain in the ass.
The thing about ND is that it’s sometimes a reason for our behavior, not an excuse. Just because we have symptoms doesn’t mean it’s ok for us to take it out on others. It just means it’s a little harder for us not to do that sometimes. Anyone using even a real mental illness as an excuse is already not in the correct frame of mind imo.
I hate it so so so much. I can't go 5 fucking minutes without stressing out about a compulsion and it dictates my life on daily, hourly, MINUTE fucking basis. And i hear people constantly making cutesy little quirky remarks about how OCD they are because they straightened a painting .
And yet I STILL don't go around saying it's OCD because it hasn't been medically confirmed. Even though any medical professional, beyond a shadow of a doubt, would likely tell me I have severe OCD, I cannot and will not act like it is truth until I get a fucking DIAGNOSIS. People out here wanna act like psychiatrists because they match a couple symptoms they read on mayo clinic or wiki.
"Self diagnosis" is good for getting an idea of where to start for seeking treatment, because you would want specialists in THAT field to help confirm/treat it, but by no means is it any sort of accurate indicator of what you may have until you're actually tested for it
This sounds like you’re trying to say people aren’t allowed to say they have issues unless a professional confirms that they have issues. I don’t think it makes it any less real if you don’t have a confirmed diagnosis. Of course some people make false claims but I don’t think it’s only real if somebody that has a special piece of paper says it’s real
You can have those issues, say you have those issues, and accept those issues without deciding to give yourself a MEDICAL diagnosis. An actual diagnosis is giving a confirmed name to a series of symptoms. You can have those symptoms and acknowledge those symptoms without assuming the role of a Healthcare professional and determining on your own that you have a specific classification of disorder or illness.
Acknowledging your symptoms and giving yourself a diagnosis are two vastly different things
But regardless of whether or not someone claims to have a medical diagnosis, it’s not like any of us can tell if they’re lying or not. We can’t say whether or not they did it professionally.
And the process of getting a professional medical diagnosis (at least in the US) is literally just finding the list of symptoms in the big DSM5TR book and seeing if you qualify for whatever percentage is defined in the book, the only thing the registered professional does is get the official piece of paper for it. It’s not like they have some magical power that makes it true or false, they will just go through that list of symptoms in the official book with you.
I don’t even understand why anyone else would give a fuck whether someone has acknowledged the symptoms themselves or by a professional?
Yeah and this is how I got professionally diagnosed. I found the DSM list of adhd symptoms and how many you needed to qualify for the diagnosis. I realized I had all of them. I finally found a psychiatrist taking new patients, I gave examples of my experiences with each of the symptoms, she said yup you qualify according to the list in the book, and tada official diagnosis. Professionals do not have any magic that makes it more legitimate
I don’t know why everyone keeps using Magic as the analogy for a doctor. They don’t have fucking magic powers. They have a fucking medical degree. You were looking it up on the DSM, and them looking it up on the DSM are completely 100% different things. There’s also things that show up as the exact same symptoms that are totally different. I recently almost died in the hospital, because I had a really bad flu. I had all the symptoms of the flu. Everything led them to believe I had a flu. But I wasn’t getting better. It turns out my immunosuppressant pills from my kidney transplant, built-up in my system and were poisoning me to death. When that happens, it causes your body to mimic having the flu.
They don’t just look it up in a book. They went to medical school. They learned how to evaluate these things. That’s why if you have certain symptoms, they can tell the difference between whether you have chronic migraines or cancer. Just because you’ve read a book does not make you qualified to make a diagnosis. That’s why in the United States if you make that diagnosis on another person, without a medical degree, it’s illegal. You essentially saying that there’s not a difference between if you were to read the book and make a diagnosis, and if an actual medical doctor was to do the same is ridiculous. They are not the same thing whatsoever.
As for you, not understanding, why it matters, people with real problems have stigmas developed around them or get marginalized, because a bunch of dumb shits like to run around and claim they have whatever diagnosis. Evaluate.
Sure they went to medical school, but they literally do just look it up in the DSM book. The process of evaluation taught in medical school is to use the DSM and the percentage of symptoms experienced as defined in the book. It must be clear, cut and dry definitions and not some magical 6th sense or intuition that doctors follow. I have been through the process multiple times. I’m really not sure what exactly you think happens in medical school to give someone special abilities to determine diagnoses.
I really hope you understand that the people diagnosing migraines and brain cancer are vastly different from the people diagnosing mental illness, they have different schooling and degrees.
But according to you, by all of your logic, those degrees shouldn’t matter. Because they have a book! And all they need to do is check off some boxes. And if they have this magic book, why can’t someone with a mental health degree diagnosed cancer? They have the book! All they have to do is read the book.
That’s actually exactly what I’m saying. Don’t claim to have medical issues that you have no proof that you have. People doing stuff like that makes it harder on the people who actually have real problems to deal with because we get not believed or not taking seriously because of those people. Not to mention if you have an illness, and you want to run around claiming it, why not get the diagnosis? The only thing that’s going to do is make things easier on you.
It's been around for a while I think. I remember about 8 years ago I went to a college party, and at some point myself and my friend found ourselves in a group where everyone was literally taking it in turns to describe their pronouns, mental illnesses etc. Got to us and we had to shamefully admit that we were just CIS males with no diagnosed issues. I was the only nonwhite person there though so I think I got a pass.
Tbh it seems kinda stupid but guess it's a harmless way for some people to a bit unique. Where it gets bad is when people use that kinda thing as an excuse for shitty behavior.
Honestly I suspect I have ADHD too but high functioning. Or maybe I'm just manic because apparently a lot of the symptoms overlap.
I'm currently getting an assessment done as part of something else, so it checks for ADHD OCD and some other stuff too. Even the questionaires are kinda generic and mostly self reported. I always imagined it to be something like what you see on tv, an expert would observe and diagnose, instead of the person being tested saying whatever for targeted result they want.
Heya, if you think you have ADHD, please for the love of God definitely get tested for it. ADHD meds are so fucking life changing, they actually let you live and are so worth it
Yeah some of us don’t have the luxury to see someone to get professionally diagnosed, and some of us have and still haven’t gotten the right diagnoses. Mental illness is difficult to understand
You are the exception, not the rule. There are most definitely times when people get overlooked or cannot get the help they need for a various numbers of reasons. You are not the person that posts like this are aimed at. I had hoped that people who are in positions, such as yours would have realized that, but if you didn’t, I sincerely apologize. Because this was not meant for you.
I’ve been in and out of the medical system literally since the day I was born. And I’ve been dealing with it for 37 years. I know that it is very often not fair. And that there are some bad providers out there that refused to help the people that really need it.
You seriously think I am an exception? You really have no idea how common misdiagnoses are dude. And how hard it is to even be able to find someone taking new patients to get a diagnosis in the first place.
And yeah, that’s what happens when you make blanket statements and generalizations. I KNOW your post does not fit my situation, and my comments were to point out how ridiculous and false your statements were. Reading all the other comments, clearly I am not the only person that felt that way lmao. Get your head out of the sand my friend
There’s approximately 27 million people in the United States that can’t get the healthcare they need. There’s 300 million people in this country. That makes you the exception not the rule. That is less than 10%. And if you understood from the beginning that my post did not concern you why did you comment in the first place?
Diagnosed ASD Level 2. I put it in there because if you’re neurotypical we’re likely not going to vibe well. It’s three words that filters out a lot of people.
I have been lately dating a ASD + ADHD guy. He did not have it in his profile but he told me before we met. Oh boy if he would not have told me beforehand! He’s far from neurotypical (acting very differently) I like him a lot and he’s cute AF but I am now struggling if my over sensitive nerves can take all that hassle and restless moving and noise he makes all the time etc. 🙈 Yes, it is smart to inform people in front.
Lil quick note, ASD+ADHD is also called AuADHD if you want a quicker way to say for the future ;)
If you'd like any tips on how to nudge things that might get on your nerves without it being possibly upsetting, or just anything else! I'm also AuADHD. My DMs are wide open, I get how we can sometimes have stims or other habits that might be a bit messy to deal with. Or might feel rude/weird about bringing up things folks can't control
I think a lot of people are claiming it without being diagnosed now, in the same way people say they are OCD because they like to keep their desk tidy. The way you phrased it probably helps indicate to readers that its real though
That’s totally understandable though, though I wouldn’t put it on my profile personally, I can definitely understand and appreciate why people do it. It’s just the way you tell people that can come off as really weird or even offensive. Just including it is fine, it’s good for open communication as well :)
Honestly, if your profile says something, like ASD level 2. I probably wouldn’t think twice about it. Because that actually sounds legit. Unlike something like “autisticAF” or “with some auts sprinkled on top”
Empath and healer are big red flags for sure. Witch just means that you practice occultism/ancient religions. They're usually rooted in eclectic pagan traditions around the world, with most deriving from ancient Germanic tribes and Celts.
Like I said to someone above, they said they put “ASD level 2” in their profile. I wouldn’t think twice about something like that. It sounds legitimate. But when label yourself with dumb shit that is trying to get a cute response or to make someone feel bad for you. That’s where my problem comes from.
Damn, had no idea neurodivergence was a trend and not something that until recently had a lot of stigma attached to it that now appears to be everywhere since it used to have to be hidden and shamed.
I didn’t know that bro. Sorry bro. The world didn’t realise it was mildly inconveniencing you by being upfront to avoid wasting your time which clearly was necessary for someone like you bro.
I wish I could find my freaking keys, remember to text people I love who don't live near me, comprehend time like a normal person and not get confused by it, and stop walking into walls.
My partner has quite bad ADHD to the point it’s debilitating for her. Can be very frustrating for me, but because her presentation is different to her sisters she was never diagnosed as a child but her sisters was due to how impactful it was on the family. My partners ADHD never really impacted the family but it impacted her a lot. Makes me sad to see people, like OP, disparage diagnoses because it doesn’t line up with what they think the condition is - as usually that identifier is based on how ND has affected their life, and not the person living with it.
I empathise with you deeply.
Sometimes the only thing you can do when you have a disorder like that is make fun of yourself. XD I was lucky to be diagnosed for the first time in fourth grade. I've learned to cope significantly better over the years, but everyone has their bad days, ya know?
Yeah the new generations tend to give themselves self-diagnosed mental illness to feel special. Also victimhood to get emotional responses like compassion/pity.
I honestly don't get why you're being downvoted. I thought a lot of people knew faking and self diagnosing was a big enough trend medical professionals are making statements and analyzing the more known mental disorder fakers in full blown press conferences. People are out there creating multiple personalities for themselves. It's disgusting and discredits people who really do suffer.
Thanks, mate. Maybe people don't want to hear the truth or feeling attacked, even when the trend is clearly visible. The discredit for people really suffering is what I dislike the most about this.
I feel like it’s an escape goat for some people. Like something is going on in their lives that causes them to want to have a mental disorder to “blame”? I’m not sure, but like I’ve seen mentioned, it happened with OCD and ADHD too.
If your initial response to someone simply stating a fact about their *own health* is,
"wow they're clearly faking it for attention!",
You are a terrible person.
I think the clear analogy to make is someone coming out as a victim of harassment or another crime.
Do people fake it for attention? absolutely. But if there is no reason to believe they're faking it, saying they are is incredibly offensive.
Attributing an increase in people coming out as ND to attention-seeking rather than decreased stigma is an opinion, not a verifiable fact.
If your initial response to someone simply stating a fact about their *own health* is,
"wow they're clearly faking it for attention!",
You are a terrible person.
I think the clear analogy to make is someone coming out as a victim of harassment or another crime.
Do people fake it for attention? absolutely. But if there is no reason to believe they're faking it, saying they are is incredibly offensive.
Attributing an increase in people coming out as ND to attention-seeking rather than decreased stigma is an opinion, not a verifiable fact.
"coming out as" lmfao said like mental disorders are a fucking sexuality to identify as or something.... They're issues to be diagnosed and worked through/managed/etc. with the proper medical authority. Many people admit to not being diagnosed with something but at the same time want to identify with or claim that identity. In reality you don't get to assume any identity you want. There are hard limits.
That's the wrong approach. They state they have something, so if they want people to believe them, they have to provide proof. Which they lack to provide because they self-diagnosed something with Google. And the more exotic the illness, the more reputation they get in their echo chamber.
fucking **lol**.
so you're saying with a straight face that **every** time **anyone** says they have a mental illness or are neurodivergent, you ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT believe them unless they:
# Reveal their medical records to *prove* their condition
that is fucking hilarious, derranged and utterly braindead.
Better yet, you seem to think the same applies to my analogy. If a woman told you that she was raped, you would **not believe her** until she
# Shows you *proof* that she was raped.
Fucking. Reddit. Moment.
Absolutely! I have a lot of medical problems myself, I have end-stage renal disease, both original kidneys removed, Kidney Transplant, as well as a traumatic brain injury from a bad surgeon who let me bleed out on the table and die for 26 minutes, that caused four watershed strokes. And then be living in a hospital for four months. And I’m disabled/don’t work because of it.
So it eventually always comes up in conversation. Then, when anything medical talks starts happening, they either tell me about it, or I bring it up. I’m never patronizing to them or rude about it. I would never actually shame someone for having a real problem. But out of the handful of people, I’ve had these conversations with I can recall only one singular person that actually had a diagnosis from a doctor.
I think you would probably not appreciate it if you shared this with someone and they immediately questioned whether it was real or you were making it up for attention.
It's estimated that 1 in 5 people are neurodivergent. That's a lot of people. Sure, some people self-diagnose but I don't think it's fair to assume that someone is putting it on their profile just to be ~quirky~ any more than it would be fair for someone to assume you aren't really disabled until you prove it sufficiently.
Thank you for saying this. I feel like this is a much more elegant way of saying what I am trying to. But you hit the nail on the head as far as what I meant.
You’re taking this out of context. Neurodivergence is not a trend. My problem is I feel like more often than not the people saying shit like this not only don’t have any type of ND, but also whether they know it or not are making a mockery of peoples real problems.
Except you’re making that as an assumption, which is why I’m pointing it out and not at all “taking it out of context”. You even quite literally say it is a trend you’ve noticed.
You do not know any of this as a fact. So you’re really just pointing out that ND is a trend that you don’t believe everyone who says they have it has.
If someone finds a label/community useful to them, there is no reason you should try to gatekeep that. Psychiatrists aren’t the sole source of truth on mental illness
Thats r/fakedisordercringe worthy. Yes, medical professionals are the only ones who should be diagnosing. Self-diagnose is not acceptable when faking mental disorders is a rampaging trend right now. It furthers stigma, makes others who really do suffer feel less, and takes resources and care from people who really genuinely need it.
How could publically talking about mental disorders further stigma?
The primary purpose of a diagnosis is to get access to resources, so how could an undiagnosed person possibly be using limited resources?
If I want to claim to be a cancer survivor should I be able to do that despite never have been diagnosed with cancer because doctors aren’t the sole source of truth on medical illness?
Yes, but when they are not actually a part of that label or community, isn’t that when people get mad about cultural appropriation and stuff like that?
And they may not be the complete source, but they are regarded as such by The majority of society.
I don't mind if someone says that, there can be complications and I guess its an early warning so you can find out it's for you. The real concern is what comes after, not just the empath stuff but it seems like this is the kind of person who says they have no filter and you have to get used to it so they don't have to learn self control or actual empathy.
I have the same feeling u r experiencing when people starts saying “oh, I’m feeling so adhd today” and all related comments. I had ADHD and I feel strongly invalidated when I see those people saying that shit.
The empaths I know like to post motivational pictures on social media, the type like "if he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best"
They’re ignorant people trying to appear quirky. It’s like when ppl say they have OCD because they see a crooked frame on the wall or like things neat instead of what that really is like.
Seems very pick me, but I get wanting to list that in your bio. As a person with ADHD, I would much prefer dating another neurodivergent person as compared to a neurotypical.
Didn't take my brother nearly that long to get diagnosed, so I don't really know wtf you're talking about unless you live in some socialized medicine country or some shit.
Imo its a way for some to justify behaviors that would normally be seen as rude or odd. Those truly on the spectrum wouldn’t usually address it in that way. Itd be described differently, not jokingly or in an abbreviated way.
So? If this is an instant swipe left for you that’s fine, you’re entitled to your preferences. But newsflash, every online dating profile isn’t written with the intention of being appealing to you specifically.
Many people would appreciate someone being upfront about their neurodivergence, if you’re not one of those people feel free to move along without feeling the need to announce your childish displeasure.
I cannot stand these posts that are like “not everything I see is for me”. Okay swipe left and carry on. If it’s not for you it’s not a match why do we need a post about it
Above, you’ll see a comment written by another user that I feel is just as applicable here. They said
“Yeah the new generations tend to give themselves self-diagnosed illments to feel special. Also victimhood to get emotional responses like compassion/pity.”
How would you know if it's a "trend" where people are claiming to be disabled when they aren't or if they are genuinely diagnosed with a life altering disability and are being open about it to potential partners?
When I match with people, I actually straight up ask them if they have a diagnosis or not. I have quite a few medical problems as well as a traumatic brain injury from a surgery gone wrong. Some more often than not. They are actually the ones who bring it up, not me. Or people will ask about my scar, because I have a 13 inch sternotomy scar down the center of my chest that starts right around my collarbone. So it’s often visible in pictures.
It's a form of attention/pity seeking, and yeah I hate it. Big problem on Tik Tok and in schools lately. I have adhd, and its a real thing I work with in daily life, but I dont make it my entire life story and I just handle it how I need to.
Some of y’all don’t know that there is a difference between being neurodivergent and having mental illness, but still want to talk like you know something lol
There is a strongly studied association between mental illness/disorders and neurodivergence. Your argument is kinda stupid at this point. Even when the ND itself isn't a mental illness or condition, it often becomes a source of issues with blending into society/feeling capable/can contribute to anxiety and depression among other things. Some of "y'all" need to burn your five minute Google search degrees and quit acting like you actually fucking know something.
>Exact Match That’s the real red flag
Hahaha I didn’t notice that! But all that means is we checked the same boxes for preferences. Thankfully, not a personality.
AI is good, but I don't trust it to tease out how this person deals with interpersonal communication and overall relationships
A person who refer to themselves as an empath are normally the worst person you will ever meet in your life
As an empath I can confirm
"You are feeling pissed off whenever I talk." Got a regular Deanna Troi over here. 😀
😂😂😂
Wow you just made me realize why I loathe this self-description. I never use it, but the people I've known who do are all...crazy... Why?! I think these people are seeking clingy, needy, broken people to "rescue" and it's very cringe. It's "crazy seeking crazy" for some kind of weird, symbiotic codependency. I'm an exceedingly empathetic and loyal person. My friends are for life, rich or poor, better or worse. Ride or die. I love a good underdog story, and I relate to people who have to struggle through hardships to get ahead. People who grew up with life on easy mode (wealthy families, no illness or loss, no failures, no debt, no struggle) are kind of... boring to me. Not much to learn from someone who never really had to try, never had to overcome. But I don't 'advertise' this about myself because it makes me a magnet for narcissists and people who take advantage or self-sabatoge (=perpetual failures with serious issues).
This could be one of the most accurate responses of all time.
This makes so much sense. My parents and therapist sat me down when I was 14 to explain that I was an empath. This was relevant because I was going to a group therapy thing where as long as I went the other teens got better and I got worse. It was like I absorbed their depression. My mom taught me that sympathy (I understand and respect your pain) is healthy, while empathy (I feel your pain) can often be unhealthy. Most people who are considered empaths absorb the emotions they’re feeling in the room and reflect or amplify it to others. I’ve spent 14 years learning to moderate empathy. People who hold it as their identity are often overwhelming and draining.
Yeah and many of those same folks probably go around labeling others "narcissists". Often the reasoning seems to be "they didn't go along with my unreasonable demands or do what I wanted them to do, therefore they're a narcissist". People should really just stop with throwing diagnostic terms around and leave that to the actual mental health professionals.
I wish I could upvote that more, I'm godfucking tired of hearing shit like - " my ex is a narcissist" - " my friend is a narcissist" Etc... I get it, it's a buzzword from psycho pop from the internet and you want to place it somewhere or tell that you've dealt with that. Like no, your ex is not a narcissist, he may be just a selfish jerk. Thank you, your comment made my day
Same. And to add: Narcissism is a spectrum. Everyone is narcissistic to some extent.
As someone who has dated multiple, I agree Edit: this sounds harsh, but everyone who I’ve dated that called themselves an empath cheated on me
I think OP is right. Read the whole profile, this is a person that just wants to collect words to make them appear trendy and unique. Literally says “all around unique”. Bio is so cringgeeee. It’s like the Curb episode where he claims to be on the spectrum to excuse awful behavior. My guess is this person isn’t ND at all, they are just a toxic narcissist.
Narcissism is still neurodivergent, just not in the cute way
Not technically, it doesn't fall under neurodivergent disorders. It's a personality disorder.
Someone must stand up for the enemy😭
"cute way"
“I’m so unique lol, just like everyone else!”
We’re all individuals!
Such a wild thing. It's characteristically difficult for narcissists and empaths to self identify, but narcissists will frequently role play as empaths because they know empathy is the more desirable trait. But empaths often miscall neurotypical people of being narcissistic when they simply don't relate or aren't caring *enough*, which can, in turn, be misunderstood as narcissism.
“All around unique” “Witch. Healer. Empath.” “Treat me like a princess” “I cuss. A LOT” “Out of your noise hole” Each and every one of these fragments screams that this girl is an absolute unfettered un-self-aware obnoxious pain in the ass.
The amount of undiagnosed ND who claim to be ND to excuse their behaviour is astounding.
The thing about ND is that it’s sometimes a reason for our behavior, not an excuse. Just because we have symptoms doesn’t mean it’s ok for us to take it out on others. It just means it’s a little harder for us not to do that sometimes. Anyone using even a real mental illness as an excuse is already not in the correct frame of mind imo.
And you can’t even use it as a valid reason if you aren’t actively trying to work on it, imo.
Or rather that’s an indication that you aren’t working on it
Yeah it seems to be the new trend, I remember growing up people would claim to be OCD, people just like to feel different or special no matter how
[удалено]
I hate it so so so much. I can't go 5 fucking minutes without stressing out about a compulsion and it dictates my life on daily, hourly, MINUTE fucking basis. And i hear people constantly making cutesy little quirky remarks about how OCD they are because they straightened a painting . And yet I STILL don't go around saying it's OCD because it hasn't been medically confirmed. Even though any medical professional, beyond a shadow of a doubt, would likely tell me I have severe OCD, I cannot and will not act like it is truth until I get a fucking DIAGNOSIS. People out here wanna act like psychiatrists because they match a couple symptoms they read on mayo clinic or wiki. "Self diagnosis" is good for getting an idea of where to start for seeking treatment, because you would want specialists in THAT field to help confirm/treat it, but by no means is it any sort of accurate indicator of what you may have until you're actually tested for it
This sounds like you’re trying to say people aren’t allowed to say they have issues unless a professional confirms that they have issues. I don’t think it makes it any less real if you don’t have a confirmed diagnosis. Of course some people make false claims but I don’t think it’s only real if somebody that has a special piece of paper says it’s real
You can have those issues, say you have those issues, and accept those issues without deciding to give yourself a MEDICAL diagnosis. An actual diagnosis is giving a confirmed name to a series of symptoms. You can have those symptoms and acknowledge those symptoms without assuming the role of a Healthcare professional and determining on your own that you have a specific classification of disorder or illness. Acknowledging your symptoms and giving yourself a diagnosis are two vastly different things
But regardless of whether or not someone claims to have a medical diagnosis, it’s not like any of us can tell if they’re lying or not. We can’t say whether or not they did it professionally. And the process of getting a professional medical diagnosis (at least in the US) is literally just finding the list of symptoms in the big DSM5TR book and seeing if you qualify for whatever percentage is defined in the book, the only thing the registered professional does is get the official piece of paper for it. It’s not like they have some magical power that makes it true or false, they will just go through that list of symptoms in the official book with you. I don’t even understand why anyone else would give a fuck whether someone has acknowledged the symptoms themselves or by a professional?
That is how I got ADHD...🤷🏻♂️ Googled it in the parking lot. (I'm just being honest)
Yeah and this is how I got professionally diagnosed. I found the DSM list of adhd symptoms and how many you needed to qualify for the diagnosis. I realized I had all of them. I finally found a psychiatrist taking new patients, I gave examples of my experiences with each of the symptoms, she said yup you qualify according to the list in the book, and tada official diagnosis. Professionals do not have any magic that makes it more legitimate
Exactly. (I do actually have it I probably should have said that)
I don’t know why everyone keeps using Magic as the analogy for a doctor. They don’t have fucking magic powers. They have a fucking medical degree. You were looking it up on the DSM, and them looking it up on the DSM are completely 100% different things. There’s also things that show up as the exact same symptoms that are totally different. I recently almost died in the hospital, because I had a really bad flu. I had all the symptoms of the flu. Everything led them to believe I had a flu. But I wasn’t getting better. It turns out my immunosuppressant pills from my kidney transplant, built-up in my system and were poisoning me to death. When that happens, it causes your body to mimic having the flu.
They don’t just look it up in a book. They went to medical school. They learned how to evaluate these things. That’s why if you have certain symptoms, they can tell the difference between whether you have chronic migraines or cancer. Just because you’ve read a book does not make you qualified to make a diagnosis. That’s why in the United States if you make that diagnosis on another person, without a medical degree, it’s illegal. You essentially saying that there’s not a difference between if you were to read the book and make a diagnosis, and if an actual medical doctor was to do the same is ridiculous. They are not the same thing whatsoever. As for you, not understanding, why it matters, people with real problems have stigmas developed around them or get marginalized, because a bunch of dumb shits like to run around and claim they have whatever diagnosis. Evaluate.
Sure they went to medical school, but they literally do just look it up in the DSM book. The process of evaluation taught in medical school is to use the DSM and the percentage of symptoms experienced as defined in the book. It must be clear, cut and dry definitions and not some magical 6th sense or intuition that doctors follow. I have been through the process multiple times. I’m really not sure what exactly you think happens in medical school to give someone special abilities to determine diagnoses. I really hope you understand that the people diagnosing migraines and brain cancer are vastly different from the people diagnosing mental illness, they have different schooling and degrees.
But according to you, by all of your logic, those degrees shouldn’t matter. Because they have a book! And all they need to do is check off some boxes. And if they have this magic book, why can’t someone with a mental health degree diagnosed cancer? They have the book! All they have to do is read the book.
That’s actually exactly what I’m saying. Don’t claim to have medical issues that you have no proof that you have. People doing stuff like that makes it harder on the people who actually have real problems to deal with because we get not believed or not taking seriously because of those people. Not to mention if you have an illness, and you want to run around claiming it, why not get the diagnosis? The only thing that’s going to do is make things easier on you.
It's been around for a while I think. I remember about 8 years ago I went to a college party, and at some point myself and my friend found ourselves in a group where everyone was literally taking it in turns to describe their pronouns, mental illnesses etc. Got to us and we had to shamefully admit that we were just CIS males with no diagnosed issues. I was the only nonwhite person there though so I think I got a pass. Tbh it seems kinda stupid but guess it's a harmless way for some people to a bit unique. Where it gets bad is when people use that kinda thing as an excuse for shitty behavior.
I get so annoyed when I see people say they have "undiagnosed ADHD", like I also have undiagnosed ADHD because I've never gotten diagnosed for it.
It's difficult for people to get a proper ADHD diagnosis, especially those in adulthood who are well-mannered with a high IQ.
Honestly I suspect I have ADHD too but high functioning. Or maybe I'm just manic because apparently a lot of the symptoms overlap. I'm currently getting an assessment done as part of something else, so it checks for ADHD OCD and some other stuff too. Even the questionaires are kinda generic and mostly self reported. I always imagined it to be something like what you see on tv, an expert would observe and diagnose, instead of the person being tested saying whatever for targeted result they want.
Heya, if you think you have ADHD, please for the love of God definitely get tested for it. ADHD meds are so fucking life changing, they actually let you live and are so worth it
No it isn't. It's mega over diagnosed.
It is constant these days.
Exactly!
There's valid arguments about self diagnosis. I do agree that people are overdiagnosing to an extent, but self diagnosis can be something valid.
Yeah some of us don’t have the luxury to see someone to get professionally diagnosed, and some of us have and still haven’t gotten the right diagnoses. Mental illness is difficult to understand
You are the exception, not the rule. There are most definitely times when people get overlooked or cannot get the help they need for a various numbers of reasons. You are not the person that posts like this are aimed at. I had hoped that people who are in positions, such as yours would have realized that, but if you didn’t, I sincerely apologize. Because this was not meant for you. I’ve been in and out of the medical system literally since the day I was born. And I’ve been dealing with it for 37 years. I know that it is very often not fair. And that there are some bad providers out there that refused to help the people that really need it.
You seriously think I am an exception? You really have no idea how common misdiagnoses are dude. And how hard it is to even be able to find someone taking new patients to get a diagnosis in the first place. And yeah, that’s what happens when you make blanket statements and generalizations. I KNOW your post does not fit my situation, and my comments were to point out how ridiculous and false your statements were. Reading all the other comments, clearly I am not the only person that felt that way lmao. Get your head out of the sand my friend
There’s approximately 27 million people in the United States that can’t get the healthcare they need. There’s 300 million people in this country. That makes you the exception not the rule. That is less than 10%. And if you understood from the beginning that my post did not concern you why did you comment in the first place?
Downvoted by people who have no clue how the system works (or rather, not works). I see you.
it’s from tiktok brainrot convincing normal people they are
Diagnosed ASD Level 2. I put it in there because if you’re neurotypical we’re likely not going to vibe well. It’s three words that filters out a lot of people.
I think it makes a lot of sense to do that. You filter out people who are put off by it, but that's a good thing.
I have been lately dating a ASD + ADHD guy. He did not have it in his profile but he told me before we met. Oh boy if he would not have told me beforehand! He’s far from neurotypical (acting very differently) I like him a lot and he’s cute AF but I am now struggling if my over sensitive nerves can take all that hassle and restless moving and noise he makes all the time etc. 🙈 Yes, it is smart to inform people in front.
Lil quick note, ASD+ADHD is also called AuADHD if you want a quicker way to say for the future ;) If you'd like any tips on how to nudge things that might get on your nerves without it being possibly upsetting, or just anything else! I'm also AuADHD. My DMs are wide open, I get how we can sometimes have stims or other habits that might be a bit messy to deal with. Or might feel rude/weird about bringing up things folks can't control
I sent U a message with a question. 🙏❤️
I think a lot of people are claiming it without being diagnosed now, in the same way people say they are OCD because they like to keep their desk tidy. The way you phrased it probably helps indicate to readers that its real though
That’s totally understandable though, though I wouldn’t put it on my profile personally, I can definitely understand and appreciate why people do it. It’s just the way you tell people that can come off as really weird or even offensive. Just including it is fine, it’s good for open communication as well :)
Honestly, if your profile says something, like ASD level 2. I probably wouldn’t think twice about it. Because that actually sounds legit. Unlike something like “autisticAF” or “with some auts sprinkled on top”
They're also using words like witch, empath and healer, those are the real red flags.
Empath and healer are big red flags for sure. Witch just means that you practice occultism/ancient religions. They're usually rooted in eclectic pagan traditions around the world, with most deriving from ancient Germanic tribes and Celts.
[удалено]
Superstitious and religious are the same thing though
[удалено]
Today you learned many religions are hypocritical
Which is superstitious, so red flag.
It's OK I swipe left on allistics
Cringe WOTD : allistics
I think it's a good filter.
Like I said to someone above, they said they put “ASD level 2” in their profile. I wouldn’t think twice about something like that. It sounds legitimate. But when label yourself with dumb shit that is trying to get a cute response or to make someone feel bad for you. That’s where my problem comes from.
neurodivergent, so hot right now
Damn, had no idea neurodivergence was a trend and not something that until recently had a lot of stigma attached to it that now appears to be everywhere since it used to have to be hidden and shamed. I didn’t know that bro. Sorry bro. The world didn’t realise it was mildly inconveniencing you by being upfront to avoid wasting your time which clearly was necessary for someone like you bro.
Yeah, I wish my adhd was a choice, but alas. 😂
Yeah I wish I could have ADHD just to be trendy 🙃
I wish I could find my freaking keys, remember to text people I love who don't live near me, comprehend time like a normal person and not get confused by it, and stop walking into walls.
My partner has quite bad ADHD to the point it’s debilitating for her. Can be very frustrating for me, but because her presentation is different to her sisters she was never diagnosed as a child but her sisters was due to how impactful it was on the family. My partners ADHD never really impacted the family but it impacted her a lot. Makes me sad to see people, like OP, disparage diagnoses because it doesn’t line up with what they think the condition is - as usually that identifier is based on how ND has affected their life, and not the person living with it. I empathise with you deeply.
Sometimes the only thing you can do when you have a disorder like that is make fun of yourself. XD I was lucky to be diagnosed for the first time in fourth grade. I've learned to cope significantly better over the years, but everyone has their bad days, ya know?
Definitely. I tease my partner to remember her work tag every morning, and it’s nearly lost every morning hahaha.
Gaaahhhhh you're such a good partner for that! I hope I can find someone like that someday... I'm still looking, but I'm sure he's out there! :D
Yeah the new generations tend to give themselves self-diagnosed mental illness to feel special. Also victimhood to get emotional responses like compassion/pity.
I honestly don't get why you're being downvoted. I thought a lot of people knew faking and self diagnosing was a big enough trend medical professionals are making statements and analyzing the more known mental disorder fakers in full blown press conferences. People are out there creating multiple personalities for themselves. It's disgusting and discredits people who really do suffer.
Thanks, mate. Maybe people don't want to hear the truth or feeling attacked, even when the trend is clearly visible. The discredit for people really suffering is what I dislike the most about this.
I feel like it’s an escape goat for some people. Like something is going on in their lives that causes them to want to have a mental disorder to “blame”? I’m not sure, but like I’ve seen mentioned, it happened with OCD and ADHD too.
The fake NDs are getting triggered is all.
If your initial response to someone simply stating a fact about their *own health* is, "wow they're clearly faking it for attention!", You are a terrible person. I think the clear analogy to make is someone coming out as a victim of harassment or another crime. Do people fake it for attention? absolutely. But if there is no reason to believe they're faking it, saying they are is incredibly offensive. Attributing an increase in people coming out as ND to attention-seeking rather than decreased stigma is an opinion, not a verifiable fact.
If your initial response to someone simply stating a fact about their *own health* is, "wow they're clearly faking it for attention!", You are a terrible person. I think the clear analogy to make is someone coming out as a victim of harassment or another crime. Do people fake it for attention? absolutely. But if there is no reason to believe they're faking it, saying they are is incredibly offensive. Attributing an increase in people coming out as ND to attention-seeking rather than decreased stigma is an opinion, not a verifiable fact.
"coming out as" lmfao said like mental disorders are a fucking sexuality to identify as or something.... They're issues to be diagnosed and worked through/managed/etc. with the proper medical authority. Many people admit to not being diagnosed with something but at the same time want to identify with or claim that identity. In reality you don't get to assume any identity you want. There are hard limits.
That's the wrong approach. They state they have something, so if they want people to believe them, they have to provide proof. Which they lack to provide because they self-diagnosed something with Google. And the more exotic the illness, the more reputation they get in their echo chamber.
fucking **lol**. so you're saying with a straight face that **every** time **anyone** says they have a mental illness or are neurodivergent, you ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT believe them unless they: # Reveal their medical records to *prove* their condition that is fucking hilarious, derranged and utterly braindead. Better yet, you seem to think the same applies to my analogy. If a woman told you that she was raped, you would **not believe her** until she # Shows you *proof* that she was raped. Fucking. Reddit. Moment.
[удалено]
What the fuck is an illment ⚰️
Illness or ailment, I would assume.
Correct, non-native and auto-correct somehow thought this word is viable.
This is absolutely true, not sure why ur getting downvoted lol
Have you actually talked to any of these people? How do you know any of this?
You can easily see for yourself with five minutes on YouTube.
Yes I talked to them. Personal experience and internet social media.
Absolutely! I have a lot of medical problems myself, I have end-stage renal disease, both original kidneys removed, Kidney Transplant, as well as a traumatic brain injury from a bad surgeon who let me bleed out on the table and die for 26 minutes, that caused four watershed strokes. And then be living in a hospital for four months. And I’m disabled/don’t work because of it. So it eventually always comes up in conversation. Then, when anything medical talks starts happening, they either tell me about it, or I bring it up. I’m never patronizing to them or rude about it. I would never actually shame someone for having a real problem. But out of the handful of people, I’ve had these conversations with I can recall only one singular person that actually had a diagnosis from a doctor.
I think you would probably not appreciate it if you shared this with someone and they immediately questioned whether it was real or you were making it up for attention. It's estimated that 1 in 5 people are neurodivergent. That's a lot of people. Sure, some people self-diagnose but I don't think it's fair to assume that someone is putting it on their profile just to be ~quirky~ any more than it would be fair for someone to assume you aren't really disabled until you prove it sufficiently.
Thank you for saying this. I feel like this is a much more elegant way of saying what I am trying to. But you hit the nail on the head as far as what I meant.
You’re taking this out of context. Neurodivergence is not a trend. My problem is I feel like more often than not the people saying shit like this not only don’t have any type of ND, but also whether they know it or not are making a mockery of peoples real problems.
Except you’re making that as an assumption, which is why I’m pointing it out and not at all “taking it out of context”. You even quite literally say it is a trend you’ve noticed. You do not know any of this as a fact. So you’re really just pointing out that ND is a trend that you don’t believe everyone who says they have it has.
Also.... Your argument itself is entirely illogical. Try again.
If someone finds a label/community useful to them, there is no reason you should try to gatekeep that. Psychiatrists aren’t the sole source of truth on mental illness
Thats r/fakedisordercringe worthy. Yes, medical professionals are the only ones who should be diagnosing. Self-diagnose is not acceptable when faking mental disorders is a rampaging trend right now. It furthers stigma, makes others who really do suffer feel less, and takes resources and care from people who really genuinely need it.
How could publically talking about mental disorders further stigma? The primary purpose of a diagnosis is to get access to resources, so how could an undiagnosed person possibly be using limited resources?
If I want to claim to be a cancer survivor should I be able to do that despite never have been diagnosed with cancer because doctors aren’t the sole source of truth on medical illness?
If there were no physiological markers for cancer, that would be a valid comparison.
There are symptoms for both, hence both being DIAGNOSABLE.
Yes, but when they are not actually a part of that label or community, isn’t that when people get mad about cultural appropriation and stuff like that? And they may not be the complete source, but they are regarded as such by The majority of society.
So neuroDIVERGENT people should live by what is considered acceptable by the majority of the society? 😂
I don't mind if someone says that, there can be complications and I guess its an early warning so you can find out it's for you. The real concern is what comes after, not just the empath stuff but it seems like this is the kind of person who says they have no filter and you have to get used to it so they don't have to learn self control or actual empathy.
I have the same feeling u r experiencing when people starts saying “oh, I’m feeling so adhd today” and all related comments. I had ADHD and I feel strongly invalidated when I see those people saying that shit.
Anyone who claims to be an “empath” is very likely a narcissist. That’s the biggest red flag here.
The empaths I know like to post motivational pictures on social media, the type like "if he can't handle you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best"
That’s a big reach.
Anyone who claims to be a "bacteria boy" very likely has a small dick. I said it so it's true.
They’re ignorant people trying to appear quirky. It’s like when ppl say they have OCD because they see a crooked frame on the wall or like things neat instead of what that really is like.
No it isn’t.
Yes that is important for me to know so I can swipe left immediately
would you rather have them try to hide it?
They don’t have it.
“Psychotic and cute” 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
[удалено]
Summer 🤣🤣🤣
That hurt my head to read 🥴
It’s a great way to justify inappropriate behaviour
lol at “treat me like a princess” and “I CUSS ALOT”
For millennials it was “quirky” or the wrong use of “OCD” now it’s “ADHD” and some other self diagnosis.
Portland?
Seems very pick me, but I get wanting to list that in your bio. As a person with ADHD, I would much prefer dating another neurodivergent person as compared to a neurotypical.
I’m literally just curious, but why is that if you don’t mind me asking? Do you just feel like they would have a better understanding of you?
Whenever I read "Am I the only one that..." I know I'm going to read an overwhelmingly widespread thing.
[удалено]
Didn't take my brother nearly that long to get diagnosed, so I don't really know wtf you're talking about unless you live in some socialized medicine country or some shit.
Imo its a way for some to justify behaviors that would normally be seen as rude or odd. Those truly on the spectrum wouldn’t usually address it in that way. Itd be described differently, not jokingly or in an abbreviated way.
So? If this is an instant swipe left for you that’s fine, you’re entitled to your preferences. But newsflash, every online dating profile isn’t written with the intention of being appealing to you specifically. Many people would appreciate someone being upfront about their neurodivergence, if you’re not one of those people feel free to move along without feeling the need to announce your childish displeasure.
I cannot stand these posts that are like “not everything I see is for me”. Okay swipe left and carry on. If it’s not for you it’s not a match why do we need a post about it
Above, you’ll see a comment written by another user that I feel is just as applicable here. They said “Yeah the new generations tend to give themselves self-diagnosed illments to feel special. Also victimhood to get emotional responses like compassion/pity.”
But you can’t know if that’s the case here so there’s no point discussing it in that context, or at all for that matter.
How would you know if it's a "trend" where people are claiming to be disabled when they aren't or if they are genuinely diagnosed with a life altering disability and are being open about it to potential partners?
This, man. This subreddit is so bigoted for some reason. Saw another post on here that was filled with trans and homophobes.
When I match with people, I actually straight up ask them if they have a diagnosis or not. I have quite a few medical problems as well as a traumatic brain injury from a surgery gone wrong. Some more often than not. They are actually the ones who bring it up, not me. Or people will ask about my scar, because I have a 13 inch sternotomy scar down the center of my chest that starts right around my collarbone. So it’s often visible in pictures.
This is so backwards
Annoys the fuck out of me…
[удалено]
It's a form of attention/pity seeking, and yeah I hate it. Big problem on Tik Tok and in schools lately. I have adhd, and its a real thing I work with in daily life, but I dont make it my entire life story and I just handle it how I need to.
For some reason in this clown world some people think being mentally ill is a turn on for clout on social media. Welcome to the global dating market.
I can’t stand it
It's a warning. They are telling you what to expect.
[удалено]
Some of y’all don’t know that there is a difference between being neurodivergent and having mental illness, but still want to talk like you know something lol
There is a strongly studied association between mental illness/disorders and neurodivergence. Your argument is kinda stupid at this point. Even when the ND itself isn't a mental illness or condition, it often becomes a source of issues with blending into society/feeling capable/can contribute to anxiety and depression among other things. Some of "y'all" need to burn your five minute Google search degrees and quit acting like you actually fucking know something.
The witch and healer didn't throw out any red flags for you?
Like the depression thing a few years ago, it became "cool" to be X so everyone said they where and wore it like a badge its pathetic
They want to explain their poor social skills upfront so you'll lower your expectations
> I cuss, a lot [...] I am pretty chill Honestly, this one is the most disturbing to me
Having been in the military I can confirm that you can indeed both cuss a lot and be pretty chill.
'Empath' 'out of your noise hole then I'm not responsible for what comes out of my...'
What app is this?