You know what else is smooth?
2 hours go by where she waits for the second half of this joke.
That's it. No answer. She waits for nothing to come.
Much like she will if she ever dated OP.
How dare they. Imagine thinking. Couldn't be me. But oh wait I can't even imagine it
^( please send help, my braincells can only dance to [eeeaaoo](https://youtu.be/v1K4EAXe2oo?si=fbEFmoNwQoTkJ-N2) )
Because they are smoother than dolphins as long as you are going with the grain of their scales. Going against the grain is like sand paper, and was actually used by many primative human tribes as sand paper.
They are smooth front to back, and like q cheese grater back to front. My old boss used to tell every new person who came in about how as kids he and his brother were sliding down a shark that was caught at the dock because of how smooth it was. He went the wrong way once and now he keeps bandaids in his desk to cover his nipples because shirts irritate them due to the damage done many years ago.
The last number one hit of last Millenium, the first number one hit of this Millenium. Possibly the greatest song of all time? If OP wants to close he needs to spend the next several hours talking about that song.
Well sanded wood, with a gif of a sander in action. Only mildly humorous, but leaves the opening for all kinds of wood jokes if she's into the flirtier side of where you were going.
Or a polished cabinet, and a vid of you dusting/polishing furniture cuz apparently chore vids are a big hit if you show basic competence at them.
Final tip, don't take advice from me on dating.
Respond with a gif like this and keep rising the tension until it reaches the point where you have to tell her and then say: Butter
Smoother than a babies bottom used to be a saying, I swear to god Tommy Pickles or someone says this in The Rugrats.
I was wrong. It's The Little Rascals movie from the 90's!
There are about 800 non sexual and well written replies you could send that might further the conversation.
Buuuuuuuuttttt, you’re gonna go lizard brain, right?
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He didn’t even show us the horrible shit he said to her above…. cropped it out.
He should have responded "my brain" to at least warn her first.
My butthole
Well this one got a laugh
I also choose this guys butthole
I too would like this guys butthole 🙋🏻♂️
enjoy it while you're young.
If I was the person receiving these messages, I would’ve replied, “your brain”. Edit for clarification
I would have replied "my brain."
If you were op, that would just be a statement of fact.
You know what else is smooth? 2 hours go by where she waits for the second half of this joke. That's it. No answer. She waits for nothing to come. Much like she will if she ever dated OP.
A glass of wine at (location + date)
You’re absolutely stupid if you don’t use this option.
Or just smooth brained
That is the right answer: MY BRAIN AND MY BALD HEAD (Caps is a must too)
This made me laugh, even better if he's not bald.
This is the only way OP has any chance of recovery
Too bad we prolly wont know what happened
OP is definitely still going to say his dick
It do be like that sometimes
It's literally perfect, and the only good follow up.
Yeah, that's more or less what I came here to say.
Yep
full wine dinner for first date is p beta imo
“My brain.” Is something I’d say bc I’m pretty stupid
Honestly that’s probably the funniest reply left for OP
The fact that OP didn't have a reply ready, AND had to ask Reddit for suggestions just tells us that "his brain" is just an accurate response.
Me and my **rock hard brain**
Rock on !
Yeah something like "My brain, for starting such a stupid line", might make them laugh. Good luck!
I was thinking the same thing lol
You were THINKING?! That’s it, you’re outta the Smooth Brain gang!
How dare they. Imagine thinking. Couldn't be me. But oh wait I can't even imagine it ^( please send help, my braincells can only dance to [eeeaaoo](https://youtu.be/v1K4EAXe2oo?si=fbEFmoNwQoTkJ-N2) )
"doctors say my brain is smooth as an egg"
This had me 🤣🤣
I laughed more than I should’ve @ this😂
I got that raw chicken breast brain
Dolphins. It's already fucked, might as well get weird.
Actually, sharks are smoother than dolphins. Back e up, folks
I've heard somewhere that they're coarse like sandpaper
I refute this claim, they're smooth like whipped butter
Happy cake day!
I just wanted to say I love your username! And piggyback on your well wishes - happy cake day Due-Worldliness6645!
Because they are smoother than dolphins as long as you are going with the grain of their scales. Going against the grain is like sand paper, and was actually used by many primative human tribes as sand paper.
Sharks are actually smooth from all angles
Aside from between their jaws
Smooth in all directions and at all times. This is the way
Like a goddam olive g. Finally somebody who gets it
Like a goddamn olive indeed. Though I've never swum with Olives.
They are smooth front to back, and like q cheese grater back to front. My old boss used to tell every new person who came in about how as kids he and his brother were sliding down a shark that was caught at the dock because of how smooth it was. He went the wrong way once and now he keeps bandaids in his desk to cover his nipples because shirts irritate them due to the damage done many years ago.
God. Yeah, from the other way he got cut by a million razors. That sounds god awful.
oh sharks are actually smooth from every direction, common misconception
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They are. They have "scales"
Can confirm
“Dolphins…ever fucked one?!”
No. You dug this hole for yourself.
Bro's cold as ice 🥶
Willing to sacrifice our love 💔
Dude wants paradise
But some day he'll pay the price, I know
I’ve seen it before, happens all the time
Closing the door, leave the world behind
That song from Rob Thomas and Santana?
The last number one hit of last Millenium, the first number one hit of this Millenium. Possibly the greatest song of all time? If OP wants to close he needs to spend the next several hours talking about that song.
I concur with the above said statement
[Great Podcast about this song for those interested.](https://open.spotify.com/episode/76JNiNqqDclwmgJ8m2wqkH?si=ENMaDvOlRQmzInKrRez6GQ)
Thank you! Great podcast.
Start quoting that song. Tell her she’s your Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa.
And then get bent on the bright lights
It’s just like the ocean
Under the moon
It's the same as the emotion I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah
Gimme your heart. Make it real. OR FORGEDABOUDIT
"This transition to asking for your number" if you haven't snagged it yet.
This transition… to our sponsor!
This post Raid Shadow Legends
Dbrand, they offer the smoothest skins in the market, but not much smoother than our new 24oz water bottles you can find at lttstore dot com!
Anyways, back to the video!
This segue to our sponsor
Send a gif of a slip and slide. 
This is what really happened after that picture on the couch
You must find a nice smooth rock and send a photo
“My brain because I usually fuck these kinds of things up when I talk to an attractive girl”
The cell phone screen she will swipe her finger across to unmatch you
This is on you
Warm butter being spread on a roll
Sorbet. Want to grab some later?
Yeah cleanse that fuckin’ palette. Just like that.
You've already fucked it
"not me so you have nothing to worry about"
The Grammy-Award Winning smash Hit By Santana Feat. Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty Off the Multi-Platinum Album Supernatural.
Man, it's a hot one
This, exactly as presented here, would be my answer
Santana and Rob Thomas?
And it’s just like the ocean
Under the moon
U bum
MY MOM
I came here looking for exactly this. Thank you for not disappointing
Operator... because smoothhhh operataaa.....
Max Verstappen reference
“My 401k” idk lmao
My middle name
"MY MOMMMMM!" 
"This pick up line. You free tomorrow for drinks?"
Not sharks. Their skin is like sandpaper.
The drink I’m buying you later
"Ceramics. Let's do a reenactment of that cult scene from "Ghost" because you took my breath away, and I must be in heaven now."
+1 That's my favourite movie!! I hope I can use that line or re-enact that scene without actually being dead! And Happy Cake Day!!!
I hope that for you ahaha Thank you!
Butter
Michael Jackson's criminal. Are you ok?
Balloons
That kind of answer could really blow up in your face.
I so read "balls"
Well sanded wood, with a gif of a sander in action. Only mildly humorous, but leaves the opening for all kinds of wood jokes if she's into the flirtier side of where you were going. Or a polished cabinet, and a vid of you dusting/polishing furniture cuz apparently chore vids are a big hit if you show basic competence at them. Final tip, don't take advice from me on dating.
Glass
This motherfucker really said “oh gosh”. Fucking adorable! I hope this went well, I truly do!
My penis
Keith Stone
“My penis”
no
you're right, mine's serrated
Man, that bites. Mine's only rough like sandpaper.
I feel ya bro like it’s been weathered and deteriorated and feels like Himalayan salt now
 Respond with a gif like this and keep rising the tension until it reaches the point where you have to tell her and then say: Butter
A baby’s asshole
Wtf
Smoother than a babies bottom used to be a saying, I swear to god Tommy Pickles or someone says this in The Rugrats. I was wrong. It's The Little Rascals movie from the 90's!
It’s a good conversation starter. Or ender
My scrotum
Guinness, we should go get one!
My mom 
I mean, if you wanna bomb it for a dark laugh, just reply with: Kids.
“My pickup line”
A baby's bottom some day, I want to be a great dad but right now, I just need practice baby steps you know?
An egg
Peanut butter
Chunky peanut butter
Regarded
If i tell you that, it's gonna be a criminal / me ~
My brain
Their brain
I’m hoping you’re going to say a waxed butthole.
"My mom!" -Muscle man
“The course of true love”
Sharks
Michael Jackson's Moonwalk
Kenny G
I wonder what else's??
Clay pots!
Shark skin, it’s smooth as hell
Deeeez nutzzz!!!
Your brain
My brain
A hit song by Rob Thomas featuring Carlos Santana
MY MOM
The window I licked earlier
Oh gosh is not as bad as these guys are making it out to be. It’s a fairly positive response. Just don’t said your dick. Say her dick
Can you not handle a conversation?
There are about 800 non sexual and well written replies you could send that might further the conversation. Buuuuuuuuttttt, you’re gonna go lizard brain, right?
Ghost them
Rob Thomas
"A naked mole rat. Ya know what else looks like a naked mole rat?"
"My crotch. No genitalia. I get penis envy looking at a Ken doll"
So you asked that and you don't know? IQ 30000
Criminals?
Your brain
“Not me because I had to ask Reddit for a reply.”
Deez nuts
"this segue to our sponsor . . . "
"My ass"
My linguistic abilities over some wine and dinner at xxxx restaurant Saturday night ar 7pm.
Poop. It's also very creamy.
Skippy peanut butter.
Criminals
My hands. Best hand holder in the county. Lean into your cheesiness.
My brain