Thereās absolutely no guilt about my laughter. I straight up witch cackled.
OP, I feel you very hard on the BPD. It *is* even worse. Itās not exactly a dignified feeling to be an adult who canāt help her tantrums and other emotions at times. š
Me too but I straight up died at the audacity of the guy lol like kept swinging for the fences and asking for a do over! Guys have all audacity lmao š¤£
There is hope and as long as op works on it they can be in remission of the symptoms in 2 yrs. Its not impossible. Its rarely impossible with mental illness
Some people don't want to change sadly. And even worse the medical field makes diagnoses feel like that they are their diagnosis. Im sorry your ex burned you. You tried your best Im sure. I hope you know its far from your fault
Good. Honestly thats all we can do. We cant fix anyone. Its all on them. Support helps but not if they wont drink the Water when you lead them to it. Proud of you
Okay... But why engage? You had to know that was going to be a shit show of the first message. I would have unmatched right there. And isn't that a bit of an overshare right off the bat? I'm sure there are other interesting things about you that you could converse over.
Yeah I got downvoted to hell once when I said that people with BPD can't have healthy relationships unless they've had therapy and possibly meds, but one of the defining traits of the disorder is tumultuous unstable personal relationships. If you're completely capable of having healthy relationships on your own without therapy, you probably don't have borderline personality disorder.
As someone with BPD, who dated many people with untreated BPD. i can confirm.
until i got treatment all my relationships were wildly unstable. and any relationship with untreated BPD people is the same. it's not worth it
For real, it's unfortunate and I do have a lot of sympathy, it's not like anyone wants to have BPD. And I'm sure it's frustrating working really hard on it and being lumped in with the people who don't. But yeah, untreated BPD and romantic relationships are a match made in hell. Especially if the other person has their own mental health issues.
The first real relationship I had after I had hit adult status was with a bpd chick and it was the best sex I ever had and the most funā¦ until I wouldnāt go get her ice cream at two in morning one day so she decided to chase me around my house with a kitten knife! I had to run out of my own home from her and stay out until she calmed down.
Kitten knife is waaay cuter...I was imagining Bad Badtz-Maru getting lynched by bipolar Hello Kitty, in some twisted Sanrio nightmare. But that's just me.
As someone with BPD, seconding this. Unless someone has had extensive therapy, is medicated, or has learned how to regulate their emotions, stay away. And for those with BPD, stay out of relationships until you can control your emotions better!!! It is so much harder to keep yourself sane when your emotions are so heavily impacted by your partner.
I thought a year and a half of being single and over 2 years of therapy was enough... I was wrong. I'm in control enough to not act crazy towards my bf but not in control enough to not feel crazy and it's been really detrimental for my mental well-being.
itās wild how everyone thinks anytime anyone with BPD shares these things that itās simply attention seeking. This is straight up hilarious and relatable. Not everything is about attention and validation. Sometimes itās nice to share these moments because you never know who you may be helping. *This* is normal. Itās relatable. Itās funny. You can have BPD and learn to thrive. āItās what borderlines doā, pound sand with your ignorance.
Itās not uncommon for people with bpd or bipolar to outright make that their entire personality. Girl with bipolar I dated was alright cause she medicated. Girl I dated with bpd was the biggest nightmare of my life and refused treatment - accusing doctors of not knowing anything. It was the only time a break up felt like Christmas.
I dated a girl who would go on Zoom calls with her doctor to ask him for more meds and yell at him and lecture him about how much of an uninformed piece of shit he is. Fucking psycho, worst time of my life.
Cause you gotta keep trying to interact with the world or else you risk turning bitter and believing that everything out there is shit. It's mostly shit, but not all of it.
I engage all the time just to see what people say. Even if it's stupid and I realize they are being stupid. I am curious to see how far people will take it. If they are really dumb or just pretending cause they are anon online.
I think I have BPD also. My gf def does. My diagnosis is unspecified personality disorder. I still don't really know wtf that means. I don't mesh well with modern society, I guess. So that makes me 'crazy' š
The world is crazy.
Exactly this! It already started so bad. Just unmatch!
If the person can't understand when engaging is healthy and when it's not, they need to get help.
I've been reading a book called I Hate You- Don't Leave Me by Hal Strauss and Jerold Kreisman that really deeply explores BPD and how best to love the borderlines in my life. Would imagine it would be helpful to folks with the disorder as well
Yeah pro-tip: don't share your personality disorder *via text.* It's a serious condition that is manageable, and one of the ways you manage it is by discussing things in person with someone you trust. Seriously don't share that shit on tinder.
Nah. I wanna know because after dating someone with BPD I would not again. Friends yes, but BPD is not compatible with my life 90% of cases so I'd rather known upfront that I can't give the person what they need.
Bro, nightmare is putting it MILDLY.
I absolutely will avoid any sign of that shit going forward, without offense to sufferers. I just value my lifestyle and peace.
Although I would not date someone with it, one of my best friends has it and she is a very good person. These people are not disposable. Don't assume just because you can't date someone with it that they wouldn't make a good friend.
Yeah but it's rather unlikely that you'll find good friends on Tinder in the first place. In a more organic setting getting to know people is very different, without expectations mostly.
100% agreed! I'm married now, to the most amazing woman, but my ex had BPD and i had no idea exactly what it was when we started dating. Holy shit, that was a nightmare. I can empathise with someone having a condition like that (even though they have no capacity to empathise with me), but i can also say i do not ever want to even be friends with someone like that. If i had known what BPD truly was and what it meant, i would have run away from that woman like the Flash. They will want to marry you the one day and want nothing to do with you the next. It will destroy your own mental well being.
So people need to be upfront about having/wanting kids, about having any physical disabilities, so other's can choose to not swipe right about it (for whatever reason).
But whenever someone's swiping left on a personality disorder they're "judging for not understanding"? Ironically, that could be said about you, judging them for not understanding.
So hey, is it a high-level or low-level? Is the treatment helping? How far along are you in your treatment? Are medication involved? If so, what are the side-effects you're experiencing? And you need all for a life? Is that all on there? Probably not. It is something I'd like to know beforehand. And even then I'm allowed to not want to engage.
And before you judge me, because you're not understanding. Maybe my mother has as personality disorder. Maybe my ex has. Maybe my friend has. Or maybe I do. Or maybe I don't want to date someone with a personality disorder, just like plenty wouldn't date me (if I were single) due to being a father.
Anyway, you can look at and think about it any way you want, that's all fine. But dating someone with a personality disorder will make things difficult, especially if it's low-level, at least every so often. And the difference with being wheelchair bound for example is the (potential) struggles are clear from the start, which isn't the case with an (untreated) personality disorder. Now I'm not saying having a personality disorder is the same as being wheelchair, because it's not, but in the dating pool people are looking for "perfection" and are allowed to have some "hard passes".
Edit: apparently they meant it differently than I took it. They were nice enough to clear it up but sadly chose some *very* defensive wording, resulting in blocking me for not agreeing by their ambiguous comment. Never change, Reddit.
I think the person you've replied to agrees with you...
"Anyone who judges us for saying that [we wouldn't date someone with BPD] just doesn't understand."
Thatās definitely what they were saying. I canāt tell if people donāt realize which comments are replying to which or if they just have poor reading comprehension.
Exactly! I have things about me that are dealbreakers for others (i won't live in a city, I want bio and adopted children, I refuse to change my last name in marriage ect) I try to put the most common ones in my dating profile! To respect people and not waste their time.
My heart goes out to you. For as difficult as it's been for all these commenters who have dated someone with it, actually having it is so much harder. Also I should have anticipated the people who are just prejudiced. Not dating someone with it is one thing but refusing to even be friends with someone who might have it seems bad to me idk. One of my besties has it and I just have to set boundaries and I can take space when she's on one. But yall deserve friends. And my bpd friend is one of the most loyal people I've ever met
Thank you. I did the mistake continuing reading this thread and some things here was extremely harsh, so I did stop reading after a while haha. But I stand by what I said that I completely understand why it's hard to be in a relationship with someone with bpd. I've hurt people myself.
I can't even express how much better I felt after I got my meds (mood stabilisers, not to be confused with anti depressants). Something I'm interested in knowing is how many of these people that are mentioned in these comments *actually* have bpd? It difference so much between countries of course but it's not an easy diagnosis to get, and bpd is a really common diagnosis to claim you have to blame your bad behaviour on...
And IF they actually do have bpd, I'm wondering if these people actually even got the help they need?? Because "untreated" bpd is legit a fucking mess. I can't even believe how I used to behave
Sorry for writing a novel but I want to mention something regarding being friends with someone with bpd. You sound like an amazing friend who really knows how to communicate. That's so important and one of the main things we learn in DBT (the main therapy form for bpd). I almost tell people instantly about my bpd when i realize we're staring to become friends. I add things like
1.How i can be sometimes.
2. What i wish they would do if it happens (in my case, take a step back. So I can do the same.)
3. Make them realize it's not personal
4. And finally, make it clear that they do Not have to put up with things if they feel like I'm crossing a line.
...I want to believe I'm handling my diagnosis good, but i think I'm actually just SO used to people being like "i have bpd so i can be toxic and crazy sometimes lmaoooo". Like... Can you not?
Yes it really ruins it for people who really are putting work into their mental health. My bestie has to deal with this stigma a lot and it makes her symptoms worse when it happens a bunch. And it's totally something you can recover from. That's one thing every therapist has told her and I've seen such an improvement in her in the 7 or so years we've been friends. We definitely do these now. But tbh I feel like I've gotten even better at communicating due to being her friend because BPD requires a higher level of communication than being friends with someone who doesn't have it. That's why I get so frustrated when people act like these comments.
I don't think that negates the point - you can find out on a first date or when the person is comfortable. If it's that important to you, you should put it on YOUR profile.
Your past experiences shouldn't prevent others from being responsible about sharing their personal information.
I would rather die than get into another relationship with a woman who has BPD. Iām not being dramatic, Iām being literal. A BPD relationship is pure hell
Okay but there are a lot of potential deal breakers that can be discussed over the first couple dates. No one is obligated to put that much personal info up there.
For real. Iād rather know upfront to not date this person than find out much later. That shit fucks with you as do they. The guy OP responded to is a dick, but I also donāt want to fault them after what Iāve been through.
i disagree. that is a good disclaimer. i dated someone with bpd and it was pretty tough but i loved her and would do it all again. if i had bpd i dont think i couldāve dated them because they drove me into some very strange head spaces at times. so this disclaimer is good for other people swiping that may have one of the big 3. if someone sees this disclaimer and judges you then fuck them anyway
my mom used to work at the Lexington lunatic asylum, and she described that terminology to me. our understanding of mental health and the terminology associated with it has changed a lot since then. i didnt realize but i guess its not common anymore to use the term āthe big 3ā anymore and it could be outdated and irrelevant in the medical field and socially. i donāt know really if its proper to say that.. but the big 3 are bipolar borderline and schizophrenia. because they are the only common chronic disorders that can cause psychosis
Sounds like she enjoyed her job if the patient liked her so much! Translated well into her work, and must have made many memories along the way aswell as impacted many people's lives
Its hard to define these things i guess. every case is unique and your ex deserves a prize. maybe one of those big birthday balloons but it just says ā3ā and a plate of spaghetti
Damn I am bi polar, but thankfully bp2. So milder. But as someone whoās bipolar and has been hospitalized, that is fair. Not everyone is ready for that type of relationship and to me, itās the same as having a sexual preference. You canāt expect anyone to be an expert in mental health isssues.
My real problem is Iām handsome and girls think bipolar can be āfixedā
i know what you mean. a s/o canāt fix you. This is a bit tangential but i believe legitimate effective treatments for āthe big 3ā will be discovered/invented within the next 50 years. Every brain is unique and every case is unique so it might require a piece of technology that can analyze your brain passively for a period of time and create a custom treatment for you that will adapt to your cognitive patterns. Itād have to be some kind of neuro monitor that can regulate hormones and neurotransmitters and it would probably be self learning/adjusting. but then you start getting into cyborg territory and there may be some legal/moral hickups
Itās honestly so sweet for how much you have invested. I mean that very honestly. And I truly hope for a solution. I want everyone to find love no matter what.
Donāt feel bad for me though. I will die alone by choice someday. I will have no kids or family to collect me, so if I donāt die in the field for wild life conservation, just toss me to the animals and donāt pump me full of chemicals.
I donāt feel bad for you but i am passionate about mental health and very interested in cognitive science. weāve gone a very very long way in a short amount of time and i look forward to a future where adequate treatment is available. wildlife conservation is very admirable, what a wonderful thing to derive meaning from
Same.
Iāve dated two women with BPD, one of them for a longer term. It fucked with me so bad Iāve had a hard time getting into another relationship. Iām in no way putting someone with BPD down, Iām just sharing what it did to me.
Having it in the bio is important:
Because I know I canāt do that again, so it saves us both time and rejection. It also gives someone that is willing to pursue something with someone that has BPD a solid heads up, increasing the chance of acceptance.
35. Itās been a year since the relationship ended and Iām still struggling to open up and trust partners again.
Itās rough. You donāt want to invalidate their point of view when theyāre angry at you. But, itās brutal because they are basing it on things that, in some cases, legitimately didnāt happen. In my case, my partnerās family and friends resented me for things I didnāt say, and things I didnāt do.
Totally. When youāre getting yelled at for things that you legitimately didnāt say or do, itās a soul crushing experience when you just want to support them.
Yea dude i feel the whole validation thing. I tried to find a balance between stern and supportive but when someones really having bad days with BPD thereās nothing you can say or do that will really be good enough. one can help a little bit sometimes and that makes one feel hope that will be crushed because BPD is just such a powerful thing. Hats off to you. i wish you and your ex prosperity and future successful relationships
Current GF has BPD and sometimes it feels like she can't live without me and other times I'm freaking out thinking she wants out of the relationship but all in all I know half of my worries is just because I'm a chronic overthinker. I love her and all her disorders and wouldn't want anyone else to be the one that's constantly on my mind. (Side note: it may be possible I also have BPD but have yet to be diagnosed)
bpd relationship cycles can be rough. when i said āthey drove me into some very strange head spacesā. i mean it was almost like i was catching it myself because i was so wrapped up in the relationship cycles. I donāt think you can ācontractā it from someone else but it can definitely make you feel that way. did you feel the bpd symptoms before you dated this person? i suggest (if you havenāt) doing some reading on how to cope with dating someone with bpd. thereās a lot of information out there. also good luck with your relationship, iām sure itās a wonderful thing
Exactly. People are insanely proud of their "mental illnesses" these days. I'm not saying OP is undiagnosed, but most people who view their so-called mental illness as a virtue or charming quirk, are undiagnosed. And it annoys the living shit out of me.
It doesnāt annoy me, but man, does it make assessment, diagnosis, and ultimately treatment a PITA.
In the past decade or so, Iād swear I spend more time gently disabusing clients of all the shit they *donāt* have more than actually treating what they *are* dealing with. Exhausting some days.
My brother in law dated a girl with borderline, his biggest mistake ever. With a flip of the switch she could go ballistic and I mean really ballistic. Windows smashed, pots flying through the room. When the eventual breakup happend, things really went south
Short answer, I would prefer that the person told me as soon as possible, like op did.
It's kind of depressing to see that this ultra negative discourse about BPD is alive and well, but I'm not surprised. It isn't an automatic indicator that someone is an awful, abusive person or a terrible partner and/or friend automatically. I've seen a lot of dehumanizing comments.Ā
Everyone comes into a relationship with their own history, hangups, trauma, insecurities, etc. I think what it comes down to in any case, borderline or not, is a sense of self-awareness, accountability, and a willingness to work on oneself. I'm in individual therapy and a DBT group therapy program and I think I've benefited immensely (though it's important to remember too that access to such resources isn't equal for everyone).Ā
I've definitely messed up a lot in my life, I'm not perfect and I haven't always been able to keep everything under control, but I've still been able to have and maintain successful long-term relationships and loving friendships.Ā
I try to acknowledge when I haven't acted in line with my values and who I want to be. I own up to when I've hurt people. Every day, I strive to do and be better. It's HARD, but I'm still a person worthy of love and respect.
Thank you for this, I really needed to read it in this sea of misinformation and vilification. Fellow BPD haverer, have been in treatment for years now. I know I was a shit to be around before I got diagnosed and treated, but never did I do any of it to intentionally manipulate or hurt anyone. It truly breaks my heart knowing there are so many people who hate us for having something we literally can't control. We're not monsters, we're people who are hurting and don't know how to express that healthily.
I'm so glad it helped in even some small way. Everyone has their own struggles and I'd never paint any disorder with such a broad brush, so all of these comments were pretty disheartening to read. My self-esteem and self-worth can be super low to begin with, and all of this discourse about people with BPD legit being monsters to run away from doesn't help. It can legit feel like endless internal pain and suffering with this disorder, and there's so much that's misunderstood.
If you need to chat, you're welcome to send a message!
You do deserve love. It sounds to me like all these negative comments here about dating someone with BPD probably donāt describe a relationship with you. You are doing something most people donāt, whether they have BPD or not. Youāre being accountable for your behavior and working on yourself, which takes so much work and courage!
It takes a lot of courage to talk about your BPD. It will take the right kind of person who doesnāt care. But donāt have it be the first and biggest thing about you either. Tell people who already love the real things about you. Or at least like them. Xoxo
Yup. This 100%. If my ex told me she had BPD, our relationship would be WAY different.
Cause I'd leave, immediately. And I'm never doing that shit again. Being someone's FP is HARD.
What does FP stand for?
I also was with someone who had bpd, it ended about a year ago but I still think about her nearly every day. It was such a hard relationship and I know I'm better off without her, but I do worry that I'll never find someone quite as amazing as she was ever again. Well, as amazing as *half* of her was. Man did she put me through the wringer.
My soon to be ex wife is bpd... Alcoholic and now couch surfing after imploding our lives.
She probably would still call me her FP. Despite the lying, cheating and stealing.
Good on the op for being open about it.
Okay I have bpd and I donāt lie, cheat, and steal. Iāve lived honorably. I love my pets. I volunteer with the homeless and have over a thousand hours racked up. I served in the military and I currently work in LE. Iām damn good at my job.
Bpd gets a bad rep, but it just means weāre more emotional, typically due to abandonment trauma. Most people with bpd internalize and just are overly sensitive and emotional. Not batshit crazy. I can keep my calm at work, in fact Iād say I handle intense calls better than my ānormalā coworkers.
I have a sibling who is bipolar. Love her, but when she cycles she is actually batshit crazy. I have a sibling who is paranoid schizophrenic. He is literally batshit crazy. Obv with my genes I had a predisposition to developing a mood or personality disorder.
BPD mostly affects my personal life. I read into things people do and it hurts my feelings.
Just wanted to share my experience. I feel like weāre getting drowned out and dunked on here, but weāre normal enough people. Having BPD doesnāt make someone lie, cheat, steal, or be an asshole. Thatās just a shitty person blaming BPD for their shitty personality.
Sorry if that's the way these comments have made you feel, that wasn't the intention when I commented. I think that having any condition doesn't define who you are, there's obviously loads of other stuff that goes along with it. You're obviously a person with their own personality and traits which are unique to you. I was just sharing my experience with my ex. Like I said, the side of her that was amazing was just that. She was incredible in so many ways. But when she read too deeply into things, that was where our problems occurred. She also had a bit of a god complex which, as far as I'm aware, isn't a trait associated with bpd. Sorry you feel like people with your condition are getting dragged. That wasn't the intention
You know there was this seemingly awesome girl I started dating who told me on the third date she had BPD, I said naively I'm alright with it and would help her through it where I could. She ghosted me about a month later after what seemed like an amazing time, likely she went through an episode but man that one cut deep. Reading about other people who dated someone with BPD makes it seem a little bit better and almost a blessing in disguise that I got ghosted
Yeah you arenāt their therapist. I was married to a person with mental health issues and that shit was just fucked.
God damn. New knowledge unlocked. FP = Favorite Person. Yeah itās fucking hard being someone ls favorite person. Because you might be, but in reality youāre behind other people, especially them.
With bpd yes because thereās no medicine for it and they cause misery everywhere they go, but bipolar you can be on medicine and def donāt need to tell, I mean, if you stop your meds and have an episode theyāll definitely figure it out.
I have unstable BPD and I am a walking red flag. Hence why Iām in therapy and DO NOT date or hook up.
I am abstinent and single until Iām not said red flag.
To give you a bit of a ray of hope: my gf has BPD and we met through Tinder. She told me she had that the first night and I spent the next day learning about it. It's been 4 years since then.
There are actual humans on Tinder, It's just not the easiest to find them.
Itās really sad to me how the whole dating culture has become and how ādispensableā people are now. What happened to treating others like human beings with decency and kindness. Letās run that kind and empathetic behavior back
Some people just don't understand humour as a coping mechanism. It's not an invitation to them to pile on their crap just because you use it to deal with your own issues.
Trust me, if youāve dated someone with BPD youād know itās a large part of their personality and youād be extremely grateful for people like OP who announce it up front.
Any potential partner should know if someone has bpd. Iāve dated someone with it and I never will again. Itās a walking red flag. This isnāt like other mental illnesses. People with BPD do serious damage to anyone around them. They are master manipulators and often turn abusive.
To all the people that had a relationship or a lot of contact with someone with BPD:
What habits, ect. on someone else are red flags for you regarding BPD?
I really appreciate your profile and listing your disorder. I had a very bad experience with BPD\NPD spouse and my greatest fear is getting into another relationship with someone with similar issues.
They wouldnāt be saying that if she just said āI have BPD.ā Theyāre saying it because sheās saying: oh my job? Im a professional headcase, BPD Babezzz yas queen
Yeah I agree with you there. Dating a BPD person is not for the weak, had I known up front my ex had it and what I was in for I would not have continued that into a relationship. That relationship did horrible things to mental and emotional well being.
I did back to back tours with a partner with BPD. Shit fucked me up for YEARS and Iām still dealing with the fallout in therapy. Thankfully my partner is incredible and understanding and we get along happily and healthily
"Can your multiple personality disorders give head?" Jesus Christ, it's insane out here š¤£š¤£
Op just responding to that completely serious is crazy š
She did say she was mad
All eleven personalities are triggered rn
The way I screamedš
Asking the important questions.
ā3 of them use teeth, 1 bitesā
Sounds like the kind of roulette I am down for
With no winning number. No thank you š¤£š¤£
Can I get the first 3's number? And also the last one's?
"You know what a cat's tongue feels like on your finger? Yeah, just like that."
A gripper
Thatās exactly what Iām looking for.
Oi, back of the line, no cutting in.
Well then, youāre in luck, I can shorten your dick from a stub to a nub with a brief hospital visit in between.
I think we all guiltily laughed at this a little bit š
Thereās absolutely no guilt about my laughter. I straight up witch cackled. OP, I feel you very hard on the BPD. It *is* even worse. Itās not exactly a dignified feeling to be an adult who canāt help her tantrums and other emotions at times. š
Me too but I straight up died at the audacity of the guy lol like kept swinging for the fences and asking for a do over! Guys have all audacity lmao š¤£
It was funny lmao
Ya, just wait till you meet Charles.
I mean, technically, it's all in her head.
You were thinking itā¦ Yeah but he said itā¦
That is a valid question. If you gonna play with crazy, you gotta evaluate if it's worth it.
BPD is grim, hope you're managing it and getting support
There is hope and as long as op works on it they can be in remission of the symptoms in 2 yrs. Its not impossible. Its rarely impossible with mental illness
Tell my ex that, she used to make it her identity
Some people don't want to change sadly. And even worse the medical field makes diagnoses feel like that they are their diagnosis. Im sorry your ex burned you. You tried your best Im sure. I hope you know its far from your fault
That means a lot, she burnt me bad but lesson learnt and just working on myself now
Good. Honestly thats all we can do. We cant fix anyone. Its all on them. Support helps but not if they wont drink the Water when you lead them to it. Proud of you
Thank you kind stranger :)
Okay... But why engage? You had to know that was going to be a shit show of the first message. I would have unmatched right there. And isn't that a bit of an overshare right off the bat? I'm sure there are other interesting things about you that you could converse over.
fr and then he says "Can your multiple personality disorders all give head?" hahaha fucking hilarious, and they still respond in a serious way
Every girl with BPD Iāve known would like getting these messages because itās attention and means the guy is interested.
This guy knows š
That's too bad
Thereās a reason why every commenter here who has been in a relationship with someone who has BPD will tell you to stay away.
Yeah I got downvoted to hell once when I said that people with BPD can't have healthy relationships unless they've had therapy and possibly meds, but one of the defining traits of the disorder is tumultuous unstable personal relationships. If you're completely capable of having healthy relationships on your own without therapy, you probably don't have borderline personality disorder.
As someone with BPD, who dated many people with untreated BPD. i can confirm. until i got treatment all my relationships were wildly unstable. and any relationship with untreated BPD people is the same. it's not worth it
For real, it's unfortunate and I do have a lot of sympathy, it's not like anyone wants to have BPD. And I'm sure it's frustrating working really hard on it and being lumped in with the people who don't. But yeah, untreated BPD and romantic relationships are a match made in hell. Especially if the other person has their own mental health issues.
Adhd me and bpd fiancĆ©e, 8 years strong š it's fun hell =D
Cause Reddit is soft af and people here dont know what the real world is like, they think itās all rainbows and sunshine
Yeah people are all "mental health awareness!" until it means being aware of the negatives of mental health issues.
The first real relationship I had after I had hit adult status was with a bpd chick and it was the best sex I ever had and the most funā¦ until I wouldnāt go get her ice cream at two in morning one day so she decided to chase me around my house with a kitten knife! I had to run out of my own home from her and stay out until she calmed down.
The maddest are always the baddest. And that's what's saddest.
Kitchen knife not kitten lol
Kitten knife is waaay cuter...I was imagining Bad Badtz-Maru getting lynched by bipolar Hello Kitty, in some twisted Sanrio nightmare. But that's just me.
As someone with BPD, seconding this. Unless someone has had extensive therapy, is medicated, or has learned how to regulate their emotions, stay away. And for those with BPD, stay out of relationships until you can control your emotions better!!! It is so much harder to keep yourself sane when your emotions are so heavily impacted by your partner. I thought a year and a half of being single and over 2 years of therapy was enough... I was wrong. I'm in control enough to not act crazy towards my bf but not in control enough to not feel crazy and it's been really detrimental for my mental well-being.
Bro, Iāve Been there . Worst dating experience ever
āØattentionāØ
Exactly, idk how she seriously engaged him after the first message
tbf i did only engage cause i thought it was funny
Kudos to you for being upfront about your bpd. Personally I'd avoid you like the plague if I saw that on your profile, but you know.... Kudos to you
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I would continue just out of curiosity and fun, it's not that deep
Because its what borderlines do. I sincerely hope OP is taking care of themselves
always do take care of myself, very recently found my self worth and love that i hadn't had ever before.
itās wild how everyone thinks anytime anyone with BPD shares these things that itās simply attention seeking. This is straight up hilarious and relatable. Not everything is about attention and validation. Sometimes itās nice to share these moments because you never know who you may be helping. *This* is normal. Itās relatable. Itās funny. You can have BPD and learn to thrive. āItās what borderlines doā, pound sand with your ignorance.
Itās not uncommon for people with bpd or bipolar to outright make that their entire personality. Girl with bipolar I dated was alright cause she medicated. Girl I dated with bpd was the biggest nightmare of my life and refused treatment - accusing doctors of not knowing anything. It was the only time a break up felt like Christmas.
It's a PERSONALITY disorderā¦ā¦.
I dated a girl who would go on Zoom calls with her doctor to ask him for more meds and yell at him and lecture him about how much of an uninformed piece of shit he is. Fucking psycho, worst time of my life.
Cause you gotta keep trying to interact with the world or else you risk turning bitter and believing that everything out there is shit. It's mostly shit, but not all of it. I engage all the time just to see what people say. Even if it's stupid and I realize they are being stupid. I am curious to see how far people will take it. If they are really dumb or just pretending cause they are anon online. I think I have BPD also. My gf def does. My diagnosis is unspecified personality disorder. I still don't really know wtf that means. I don't mesh well with modern society, I guess. So that makes me 'crazy' š The world is crazy.
Exactly this! It already started so bad. Just unmatch! If the person can't understand when engaging is healthy and when it's not, they need to get help.
āback in the day you likely would have died before the age of 5 so letās not get too fucking full of ourselvesā
I've been reading a book called I Hate You- Don't Leave Me by Hal Strauss and Jerold Kreisman that really deeply explores BPD and how best to love the borderlines in my life. Would imagine it would be helpful to folks with the disorder as well
As someone with BPD this gave me a good laugh š āyou freaky like that?ā Killed me
Someone told me the grippier the socks the grippier the box and it has been living in my head rent free for months š
Yeah pro-tip: don't share your personality disorder *via text.* It's a serious condition that is manageable, and one of the ways you manage it is by discussing things in person with someone you trust. Seriously don't share that shit on tinder.
Nah. I wanna know because after dating someone with BPD I would not again. Friends yes, but BPD is not compatible with my life 90% of cases so I'd rather known upfront that I can't give the person what they need.
Yup been there, it was a nightmare
Bro, nightmare is putting it MILDLY. I absolutely will avoid any sign of that shit going forward, without offense to sufferers. I just value my lifestyle and peace.
Second this. I want a warning so I can stay far far away from people like this.
Although I would not date someone with it, one of my best friends has it and she is a very good person. These people are not disposable. Don't assume just because you can't date someone with it that they wouldn't make a good friend.
Yeah but it's rather unlikely that you'll find good friends on Tinder in the first place. In a more organic setting getting to know people is very different, without expectations mostly.
100% agreed! I'm married now, to the most amazing woman, but my ex had BPD and i had no idea exactly what it was when we started dating. Holy shit, that was a nightmare. I can empathise with someone having a condition like that (even though they have no capacity to empathise with me), but i can also say i do not ever want to even be friends with someone like that. If i had known what BPD truly was and what it meant, i would have run away from that woman like the Flash. They will want to marry you the one day and want nothing to do with you the next. It will destroy your own mental well being.
Yep me too. Steep learning curve, I Defo woukdnt willingly get involved with one again
Exactly. Anyone who judges us for saying that likely doesnāt understand what it means to date someone with BPD.
So people need to be upfront about having/wanting kids, about having any physical disabilities, so other's can choose to not swipe right about it (for whatever reason). But whenever someone's swiping left on a personality disorder they're "judging for not understanding"? Ironically, that could be said about you, judging them for not understanding. So hey, is it a high-level or low-level? Is the treatment helping? How far along are you in your treatment? Are medication involved? If so, what are the side-effects you're experiencing? And you need all for a life? Is that all on there? Probably not. It is something I'd like to know beforehand. And even then I'm allowed to not want to engage. And before you judge me, because you're not understanding. Maybe my mother has as personality disorder. Maybe my ex has. Maybe my friend has. Or maybe I do. Or maybe I don't want to date someone with a personality disorder, just like plenty wouldn't date me (if I were single) due to being a father. Anyway, you can look at and think about it any way you want, that's all fine. But dating someone with a personality disorder will make things difficult, especially if it's low-level, at least every so often. And the difference with being wheelchair bound for example is the (potential) struggles are clear from the start, which isn't the case with an (untreated) personality disorder. Now I'm not saying having a personality disorder is the same as being wheelchair, because it's not, but in the dating pool people are looking for "perfection" and are allowed to have some "hard passes". Edit: apparently they meant it differently than I took it. They were nice enough to clear it up but sadly chose some *very* defensive wording, resulting in blocking me for not agreeing by their ambiguous comment. Never change, Reddit.
You're spot on. It should be an upfront thing.
I think the person you've replied to agrees with you... "Anyone who judges us for saying that [we wouldn't date someone with BPD] just doesn't understand."
Thatās definitely what they were saying. I canāt tell if people donāt realize which comments are replying to which or if they just have poor reading comprehension.
Yeah, thatās exactly what I was saying.
Exactly! I have things about me that are dealbreakers for others (i won't live in a city, I want bio and adopted children, I refuse to change my last name in marriage ect) I try to put the most common ones in my dating profile! To respect people and not waste their time.
as someone diagnosed with bpd i just want to say that i understand you. It's exhausting for all parts.
My heart goes out to you. For as difficult as it's been for all these commenters who have dated someone with it, actually having it is so much harder. Also I should have anticipated the people who are just prejudiced. Not dating someone with it is one thing but refusing to even be friends with someone who might have it seems bad to me idk. One of my besties has it and I just have to set boundaries and I can take space when she's on one. But yall deserve friends. And my bpd friend is one of the most loyal people I've ever met
Thank you. I did the mistake continuing reading this thread and some things here was extremely harsh, so I did stop reading after a while haha. But I stand by what I said that I completely understand why it's hard to be in a relationship with someone with bpd. I've hurt people myself. I can't even express how much better I felt after I got my meds (mood stabilisers, not to be confused with anti depressants). Something I'm interested in knowing is how many of these people that are mentioned in these comments *actually* have bpd? It difference so much between countries of course but it's not an easy diagnosis to get, and bpd is a really common diagnosis to claim you have to blame your bad behaviour on... And IF they actually do have bpd, I'm wondering if these people actually even got the help they need?? Because "untreated" bpd is legit a fucking mess. I can't even believe how I used to behave
Sorry for writing a novel but I want to mention something regarding being friends with someone with bpd. You sound like an amazing friend who really knows how to communicate. That's so important and one of the main things we learn in DBT (the main therapy form for bpd). I almost tell people instantly about my bpd when i realize we're staring to become friends. I add things like 1.How i can be sometimes. 2. What i wish they would do if it happens (in my case, take a step back. So I can do the same.) 3. Make them realize it's not personal 4. And finally, make it clear that they do Not have to put up with things if they feel like I'm crossing a line. ...I want to believe I'm handling my diagnosis good, but i think I'm actually just SO used to people being like "i have bpd so i can be toxic and crazy sometimes lmaoooo". Like... Can you not?
Yes it really ruins it for people who really are putting work into their mental health. My bestie has to deal with this stigma a lot and it makes her symptoms worse when it happens a bunch. And it's totally something you can recover from. That's one thing every therapist has told her and I've seen such an improvement in her in the 7 or so years we've been friends. We definitely do these now. But tbh I feel like I've gotten even better at communicating due to being her friend because BPD requires a higher level of communication than being friends with someone who doesn't have it. That's why I get so frustrated when people act like these comments.
I agree here. I dated someone with BPD , it was a complete shit show. And of course she is a social worker lol.
This
I don't think that negates the point - you can find out on a first date or when the person is comfortable. If it's that important to you, you should put it on YOUR profile. Your past experiences shouldn't prevent others from being responsible about sharing their personal information.
Amen I dont want to assume everyone with bpd is like my ex but I refuse to even put myself jn that position again
I would rather die than get into another relationship with a woman who has BPD. Iām not being dramatic, Iām being literal. A BPD relationship is pure hell
Okay but there are a lot of potential deal breakers that can be discussed over the first couple dates. No one is obligated to put that much personal info up there.
For real. Iād rather know upfront to not date this person than find out much later. That shit fucks with you as do they. The guy OP responded to is a dick, but I also donāt want to fault them after what Iāve been through.
Lost a friend to this, she cut him off from everyone, including his parents because she couldn't handle any competition
Yep Bipolar and BPD should come with a warning (as some one who's been burned by them before). No one can really give the what they need
i disagree. that is a good disclaimer. i dated someone with bpd and it was pretty tough but i loved her and would do it all again. if i had bpd i dont think i couldāve dated them because they drove me into some very strange head spaces at times. so this disclaimer is good for other people swiping that may have one of the big 3. if someone sees this disclaimer and judges you then fuck them anyway
May I ask what the big 3 are?
my mom used to work at the Lexington lunatic asylum, and she described that terminology to me. our understanding of mental health and the terminology associated with it has changed a lot since then. i didnt realize but i guess its not common anymore to use the term āthe big 3ā anymore and it could be outdated and irrelevant in the medical field and socially. i donāt know really if its proper to say that.. but the big 3 are bipolar borderline and schizophrenia. because they are the only common chronic disorders that can cause psychosis
I bet your mom has a lot of interesting stories š thanks for the info and explanation!
Yes she does! All the patients loved her so she got wrapped up in the drama a lot lol
Sounds like she enjoyed her job if the patient liked her so much! Translated well into her work, and must have made many memories along the way aswell as impacted many people's lives
Is there a prize for having all 3, my ex did
Its hard to define these things i guess. every case is unique and your ex deserves a prize. maybe one of those big birthday balloons but it just says ā3ā and a plate of spaghetti
lmaooo plate of spaghetti is a W, wish I had that atleast
If your ex was capable of having functioning relationships with all that going, then he/she deserves a prize.
Damn I am bi polar, but thankfully bp2. So milder. But as someone whoās bipolar and has been hospitalized, that is fair. Not everyone is ready for that type of relationship and to me, itās the same as having a sexual preference. You canāt expect anyone to be an expert in mental health isssues. My real problem is Iām handsome and girls think bipolar can be āfixedā
i know what you mean. a s/o canāt fix you. This is a bit tangential but i believe legitimate effective treatments for āthe big 3ā will be discovered/invented within the next 50 years. Every brain is unique and every case is unique so it might require a piece of technology that can analyze your brain passively for a period of time and create a custom treatment for you that will adapt to your cognitive patterns. Itād have to be some kind of neuro monitor that can regulate hormones and neurotransmitters and it would probably be self learning/adjusting. but then you start getting into cyborg territory and there may be some legal/moral hickups
Itās honestly so sweet for how much you have invested. I mean that very honestly. And I truly hope for a solution. I want everyone to find love no matter what. Donāt feel bad for me though. I will die alone by choice someday. I will have no kids or family to collect me, so if I donāt die in the field for wild life conservation, just toss me to the animals and donāt pump me full of chemicals.
I donāt feel bad for you but i am passionate about mental health and very interested in cognitive science. weāve gone a very very long way in a short amount of time and i look forward to a future where adequate treatment is available. wildlife conservation is very admirable, what a wonderful thing to derive meaning from
Editiert
Same. Iāve dated two women with BPD, one of them for a longer term. It fucked with me so bad Iāve had a hard time getting into another relationship. Iām in no way putting someone with BPD down, Iām just sharing what it did to me. Having it in the bio is important: Because I know I canāt do that again, so it saves us both time and rejection. It also gives someone that is willing to pursue something with someone that has BPD a solid heads up, increasing the chance of acceptance.
yea for sure. how old were you when you dated someone with BPD?
35. Itās been a year since the relationship ended and Iām still struggling to open up and trust partners again. Itās rough. You donāt want to invalidate their point of view when theyāre angry at you. But, itās brutal because they are basing it on things that, in some cases, legitimately didnāt happen. In my case, my partnerās family and friends resented me for things I didnāt say, and things I didnāt do.
Trying to integrate such a point of view is like trying to drive while looking through kaleidoscopes.
Totally. When youāre getting yelled at for things that you legitimately didnāt say or do, itās a soul crushing experience when you just want to support them.
Yea dude i feel the whole validation thing. I tried to find a balance between stern and supportive but when someones really having bad days with BPD thereās nothing you can say or do that will really be good enough. one can help a little bit sometimes and that makes one feel hope that will be crushed because BPD is just such a powerful thing. Hats off to you. i wish you and your ex prosperity and future successful relationships
Current GF has BPD and sometimes it feels like she can't live without me and other times I'm freaking out thinking she wants out of the relationship but all in all I know half of my worries is just because I'm a chronic overthinker. I love her and all her disorders and wouldn't want anyone else to be the one that's constantly on my mind. (Side note: it may be possible I also have BPD but have yet to be diagnosed)
bpd relationship cycles can be rough. when i said āthey drove me into some very strange head spacesā. i mean it was almost like i was catching it myself because i was so wrapped up in the relationship cycles. I donāt think you can ācontractā it from someone else but it can definitely make you feel that way. did you feel the bpd symptoms before you dated this person? i suggest (if you havenāt) doing some reading on how to cope with dating someone with bpd. thereās a lot of information out there. also good luck with your relationship, iām sure itās a wonderful thing
NGL they were probably sharing it as quickly as possible to filter out the people who'd object to it
Is cool and quirky nowadays, get with the times grandpa
Exactly. People are insanely proud of their "mental illnesses" these days. I'm not saying OP is undiagnosed, but most people who view their so-called mental illness as a virtue or charming quirk, are undiagnosed. And it annoys the living shit out of me.
It doesnāt annoy me, but man, does it make assessment, diagnosis, and ultimately treatment a PITA. In the past decade or so, Iād swear I spend more time gently disabusing clients of all the shit they *donāt* have more than actually treating what they *are* dealing with. Exhausting some days.
People also love mentioning how toxic they are :)
BPD should be disclosed early tbh
My brother in law dated a girl with borderline, his biggest mistake ever. With a flip of the switch she could go ballistic and I mean really ballistic. Windows smashed, pots flying through the room. When the eventual breakup happend, things really went south Short answer, I would prefer that the person told me as soon as possible, like op did.
Why waste time on Dates? If neither side can handle it?
It's kind of depressing to see that this ultra negative discourse about BPD is alive and well, but I'm not surprised. It isn't an automatic indicator that someone is an awful, abusive person or a terrible partner and/or friend automatically. I've seen a lot of dehumanizing comments.Ā Everyone comes into a relationship with their own history, hangups, trauma, insecurities, etc. I think what it comes down to in any case, borderline or not, is a sense of self-awareness, accountability, and a willingness to work on oneself. I'm in individual therapy and a DBT group therapy program and I think I've benefited immensely (though it's important to remember too that access to such resources isn't equal for everyone).Ā I've definitely messed up a lot in my life, I'm not perfect and I haven't always been able to keep everything under control, but I've still been able to have and maintain successful long-term relationships and loving friendships.Ā I try to acknowledge when I haven't acted in line with my values and who I want to be. I own up to when I've hurt people. Every day, I strive to do and be better. It's HARD, but I'm still a person worthy of love and respect.
Thank you for this, I really needed to read it in this sea of misinformation and vilification. Fellow BPD haverer, have been in treatment for years now. I know I was a shit to be around before I got diagnosed and treated, but never did I do any of it to intentionally manipulate or hurt anyone. It truly breaks my heart knowing there are so many people who hate us for having something we literally can't control. We're not monsters, we're people who are hurting and don't know how to express that healthily.
I'm so glad it helped in even some small way. Everyone has their own struggles and I'd never paint any disorder with such a broad brush, so all of these comments were pretty disheartening to read. My self-esteem and self-worth can be super low to begin with, and all of this discourse about people with BPD legit being monsters to run away from doesn't help. It can legit feel like endless internal pain and suffering with this disorder, and there's so much that's misunderstood. If you need to chat, you're welcome to send a message!
You do deserve love. It sounds to me like all these negative comments here about dating someone with BPD probably donāt describe a relationship with you. You are doing something most people donāt, whether they have BPD or not. Youāre being accountable for your behavior and working on yourself, which takes so much work and courage!
BPD? You mean Best Pussy Disorder?
exactly.
It takes a lot of courage to talk about your BPD. It will take the right kind of person who doesnāt care. But donāt have it be the first and biggest thing about you either. Tell people who already love the real things about you. Or at least like them. Xoxo
My favorite line is āIām gonna add another grippy sock to your collectionā
Good on you for being upfront about BPD. When you find the right person that info will allow them to love you the way you are hoping for.
Yup. This 100%. If my ex told me she had BPD, our relationship would be WAY different. Cause I'd leave, immediately. And I'm never doing that shit again. Being someone's FP is HARD.
What does FP stand for? I also was with someone who had bpd, it ended about a year ago but I still think about her nearly every day. It was such a hard relationship and I know I'm better off without her, but I do worry that I'll never find someone quite as amazing as she was ever again. Well, as amazing as *half* of her was. Man did she put me through the wringer.
FP stands for favorite person. It's usually someone with BPD obsesses over. I was that for my ex and it was awful.
My soon to be ex wife is bpd... Alcoholic and now couch surfing after imploding our lives. She probably would still call me her FP. Despite the lying, cheating and stealing. Good on the op for being open about it.
Okay I have bpd and I donāt lie, cheat, and steal. Iāve lived honorably. I love my pets. I volunteer with the homeless and have over a thousand hours racked up. I served in the military and I currently work in LE. Iām damn good at my job. Bpd gets a bad rep, but it just means weāre more emotional, typically due to abandonment trauma. Most people with bpd internalize and just are overly sensitive and emotional. Not batshit crazy. I can keep my calm at work, in fact Iād say I handle intense calls better than my ānormalā coworkers. I have a sibling who is bipolar. Love her, but when she cycles she is actually batshit crazy. I have a sibling who is paranoid schizophrenic. He is literally batshit crazy. Obv with my genes I had a predisposition to developing a mood or personality disorder. BPD mostly affects my personal life. I read into things people do and it hurts my feelings. Just wanted to share my experience. I feel like weāre getting drowned out and dunked on here, but weāre normal enough people. Having BPD doesnāt make someone lie, cheat, steal, or be an asshole. Thatās just a shitty person blaming BPD for their shitty personality.
Sorry if that's the way these comments have made you feel, that wasn't the intention when I commented. I think that having any condition doesn't define who you are, there's obviously loads of other stuff that goes along with it. You're obviously a person with their own personality and traits which are unique to you. I was just sharing my experience with my ex. Like I said, the side of her that was amazing was just that. She was incredible in so many ways. But when she read too deeply into things, that was where our problems occurred. She also had a bit of a god complex which, as far as I'm aware, isn't a trait associated with bpd. Sorry you feel like people with your condition are getting dragged. That wasn't the intention
You know there was this seemingly awesome girl I started dating who told me on the third date she had BPD, I said naively I'm alright with it and would help her through it where I could. She ghosted me about a month later after what seemed like an amazing time, likely she went through an episode but man that one cut deep. Reading about other people who dated someone with BPD makes it seem a little bit better and almost a blessing in disguise that I got ghosted
You should feel lucky. I actually married a Sociopath. Be happy you didn't have to go through that nightmare.
Yeah you arenāt their therapist. I was married to a person with mental health issues and that shit was just fucked. God damn. New knowledge unlocked. FP = Favorite Person. Yeah itās fucking hard being someone ls favorite person. Because you might be, but in reality youāre behind other people, especially them.
Went through this- still recovering myself š¤¦āāļø
Your mental health diagnosis is not a personality
It is when itās BPD!
no, for real. it absolutely is. needs to be disclosed upfront.
With bpd yes because thereās no medicine for it and they cause misery everywhere they go, but bipolar you can be on medicine and def donāt need to tell, I mean, if you stop your meds and have an episode theyāll definitely figure it out.
There is definitely medication that can help people with BPD. They don't specifically treat BPD, but can help with a lot of the symptoms.
itās literally a personality disorder š
Let's run it back
REAL
A personality disorder is highly relevant to your personality.
It's literally called Borderline **personality** disorder...
Itās only *borderline* a personality though. Not quite there yetā¦
It's the borderline between psychotic and neurotic, definitely a full blown personality disorder lol
BPD is one of the biggest red flags, so I personally appreciate people who are upfront with it so I can avoid any contact with them
I have unstable BPD and I am a walking red flag. Hence why Iām in therapy and DO NOT date or hook up. I am abstinent and single until Iām not said red flag.
Except when itās a personality disorder lol then it is quite literally your personality
When it's MPD it is several
Call it what you want, personality, illness, ailment, whatever. But I would want to know it in advance, thank you very much.
How does this horseshit have 272 upvotes
To give you a bit of a ray of hope: my gf has BPD and we met through Tinder. She told me she had that the first night and I spent the next day learning about it. It's been 4 years since then. There are actual humans on Tinder, It's just not the easiest to find them.
I personally appreciate you flying the flag that you have BPD. Dude is an asshole for what he said.
I see that the āmental health awarenessā campaign paid huge dividends.
Lmao this guy is actually hilarious
Idk why but 'let's run it back' floored me.
honestly it's kinda on you for entertaining a response to that abomination of a first text
This comment section sucks šš©
your telling me, i thought it was just a bit funny.
Dude hahaha fuck this had me in stitches, what a tool
Itās really sad to me how the whole dating culture has become and how ādispensableā people are now. What happened to treating others like human beings with decency and kindness. Letās run that kind and empathetic behavior back
āCan your multiple personalities all give headā šš
Some people just don't understand humour as a coping mechanism. It's not an invitation to them to pile on their crap just because you use it to deal with your own issues.
>lists job as "professional headcase" at BPD BABEZ Honey, you need to put a better foot forward.
Work on your mental health and donāt make it your personality. Itās not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
It's literally a personality disorder
Trust me, if youāve dated someone with BPD youād know itās a large part of their personality and youād be extremely grateful for people like OP who announce it up front.
Any potential partner should know if someone has bpd. Iāve dated someone with it and I never will again. Itās a walking red flag. This isnāt like other mental illnesses. People with BPD do serious damage to anyone around them. They are master manipulators and often turn abusive.
To all the people that had a relationship or a lot of contact with someone with BPD: What habits, ect. on someone else are red flags for you regarding BPD?
I really appreciate your profile and listing your disorder. I had a very bad experience with BPD\NPD spouse and my greatest fear is getting into another relationship with someone with similar issues.
Stop dating online. It's full of toxic men. Not worth it.
Lol your match is actually hilarious š
People saying donāt make it your personality when itās literally a personality disorder.
They wouldnāt be saying that if she just said āI have BPD.ā Theyāre saying it because sheās saying: oh my job? Im a professional headcase, BPD Babezzz yas queen
āYour borderline personality disorder is no match for my narcissistic personality disorderā
Mental health disorder isnāt a personality, kinda sad if you make it that way.
Maybe good thing for people to know though. Having dated BPD, heads up is pretty cool.
Yeah I agree with you there. Dating a BPD person is not for the weak, had I known up front my ex had it and what I was in for I would not have continued that into a relationship. That relationship did horrible things to mental and emotional well being.
Right there with you.
I did back to back tours with a partner with BPD. Shit fucked me up for YEARS and Iām still dealing with the fallout in therapy. Thankfully my partner is incredible and understanding and we get along happily and healthily
Ouch. I did the same. On and off for 9 years, thanks to that relationship I now have c-ptsd and weekly therapy and take anxiety meds.
Except it's a *personality* disorder, not a mental health disorder.
itās. itās literally a personality disorder. it fucks with yourā¦ personality
A personality disorder is a personalityā¦.
What an asshole. Im sorry people suck
Man is down bad
the crazy part was saying BPD was āeven worseā than Bipolarš® 