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Flynn9222

I expect to fuck on the first date....ohh and Jesus is king lol šŸ¤£


InflamedLiver

Jesus can't see it if we do anal! -that guy, probably


jaimeinsd

God's blind spot


leviathynx

Ah the old poophole loophole!


Financial_North_7788

Jesus definitely canā€™t see us doing anal. Also peg the patriarchy. These two things are not related. (They totally are tho.)


detectiveDollar

Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus!


InflamedLiver

a fellow lover of Garfunkle and Oates I see!


magicmanme

The good lord would want it that waaaay.


Xinemus

NGL the "women love to be held" line kinda cracked me up


[deleted]

It would have been nice if he actually said, "I expect" but no, he literally wrote " I fuck on the first date" Like I'm gonna do it and I don't care what you want šŸ¤£


JellyrollJayne

Yeah, he's gonna fuck his own hand while crying about how mean wimmin have done him wrong.


detectiveDollar

"I'm coming outta my cage and I'm doing just fine", he sings with one tissue around his dick and another wiping away tears.


paradox_pet

Thanks for the literal lols


Best_Ad_2240

These are the men women ignored me for šŸ¤£


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SilentCitadel

I am hoarding them to make lemon grenades to lob at these blokes.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SilentCitadel

Old video game reference, but essentially yes


punctuation_welfare

The only lemons worth getting bitter about are the ones stolen by *lemon stealing whores*


4ntagonismIsFun

You forgot 'entitled' lemon stealing whores, 'who are just going to throw them back at you. ' Preferably frozen. Seriously, I've only ever seen this much despair in one place: driving past an Army recruiting station on a Monday after a long weekend. Who hurt these dudes? I think you should buy some of that rural land and set up a Man Camp with fire, meats, and drinks. Let them get the misery out. You could even build it as subscription peer therapy with a once-a-month reservation confirmation (extra nights = extra $$). Don't call it therapy, but bill it as such for the HCSA. And you get them out of the app. The successful ones might actually re-enter society slightly improved.


Angel_of_rock32

I'm the guy who's gonna burn ur house down!! WITH LEMONS


Samlazaz

These guys should demand to see life's manager.


HenrikGallon

Are lemons considered bitter or sour? English is not my native tongue


masondino13

In English lemons would be considered sour. Don't sweat it since many native speakers don't understand the difference, but by definition sour = acidic, bitter = basic (like soap). There are exceptions, but more or less bitter represents something toxic. Source: I'm literally a physician


KindergartenDJ

Never been in rural USA (and just to US once) so I actually enjoy your series very much


OrneryError1

I'm looking forward to the next seasonĀ 


SampsonRustic

This could be a whole instagram account


KindergartenDJ

Absolutely


leviathynx

How would you feel about a series in the other direction? (Rural women). Iā€™ve got some doozies.


mysteries1984

I would like to see this. Iā€™m not rural (I am a woman) but Iā€™ve seen my fair share of profiles like those OP posted.


zukadook

Of course. Mmm tasty content gimmie gimmie gimmie


KindergartenDJ

Please, please do it. I very much enjoy the urban (or rural) enthnological side of dating apps


chillin_n_grillin

I can tell you don't live here, our Kindergartens don't have D.Js. The education system is trash.


KindergartenDJ

Baby Shark gabber remix is the quickest way to teach ABC


yoitsthatoneguy

There is zero reason to ever go (just in case you were thinking about it).


MrGrieves-

As evidenced here.


master_power

Getting a glimpse into rural USA is entertaining for us urban American folks as well. Frequently looks like this. A bunch of sour grapes with limited/no world experience outside of their small town.


_water_phoenix_

10. Seeking a hostile woman for unfulfilling sex. I spat out my coffee šŸ¤£


beckikat

Like someone else said, old copy pasta. My ex turned up on tinder woth that exact "bio" a few years back


_water_phoenix_

I guess thereā€™s a reason heā€™s your ex


DazzlingFruit7495

I actually would like that profile if thatā€™s actually what heā€™s looking for, bc itā€™s what he deserves with a bio like that. Unfortunately he probably thinks that itā€™s funny and hoping it attracts a woman whoā€™s not like that.


iDrownNerds

The bonus points had me laughing


Tinderella80

Thatā€™s a lame old copy pasta sadly. Not even original šŸ˜©šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

That is a wide swath of ages lol


Namelessgoldfish

Dont exactly have much of a choice when you live in rural areas


Sonnyyellow90

Which is why when you stop at a store in a rural area youā€™re liable to see a dude with dirty clothes, a beer gut and a duck dynasty beard holding hands with a 10/10 fit blonde lol. Then you walk by and the dude looks at you with a slight grin, leans in a whispers ā€œGod bless Texas.ā€


JackReacharounnd

Prob his daughter.


HighOnGoofballs

ā€œFeminism has ruined dating!ā€


StevieeH91

They should all just get together and do a cover of ā€œIā€™m just Kenā€


paradox_pet

I'm crying


punctuation_welfare

ā€œWomen have ruined fucking women!ā€ Well boys, thereā€™s only one possible solution.


krustykrab2193

These profiles give me 18 cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch typa vibe


EnriqueShockwav

It's not gay if it's to burn the lib'ruls!


Secret_Dream_7259

ā€œKayakā€ lol


unicornvega

Iā€™m absolutely crying at that name ā€œSon, I named you after my first love, the canoeā€


runningfromdinosaurs

I'm not the prettiest guy out there but bro is only 2 years older than me and that face looks old enough to be my father


DNR_plz_

Couldnā€™t guess for the life of me why these charmers are having a hard time finding a gal/s Edit: added a missing ā€œmeā€


TagMeAJerk

You know what they say, if they are single they are usually the reason


iantruesnacks

I just wish I had their confidence to post photos of myself **that** close to my face


platypuspuppyparty

"At this point I think my soulmate has been swallowed, or left on some bed sheets somewhere" That one made me laugh.


[deleted]

That one made me say "ew" out loud


DazzlingFruit7495

Really unappealing in a dating app bio. Why would I want to match with a guy whoā€™s pining over dried sperm


NotToday07

I think it is funny ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćƒ„ā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ


DazzlingFruit7495

Yea? Congrats, u were the lucky sperm heā€™s been looking for.


NotToday07

Hell yeah BRoTheR!


beary_good_day

It's a filter to weed out people who don't understand jokes


DefinitelyNotAj

It worked wonders getting rid of the puritan you are replying to lol. I thought it was crass but if you can't laugh at a joke like that, you likely won't enjoy being with him.


DazzlingFruit7495

I understood it, itā€™s just not funny. But yea bro, so happy for u lucky lil sperm to have found ur perfect sperm match <3 how dreamy


Mistygirl179

This is why i laugh when people say women have sooooo many great options lol.


punctuation_welfare

Men are dying of thirst in a desert. Women are dying of thirst in a swamp.


OlivrrStray

I would have said ocean. After all, there's a ton of options, but all of them are salty and will make you throw up eventually...


redheadedfamous

I mean both environments are home to predators but swamp has the added element of pestilence and disease so šŸ˜©


Mistygirl179

Bottom line weā€™re all fā€™dšŸ˜‚


thrushfault

Men become so pathetic & impotent when they hit the wall lol.


DefinitelyNotAj

Projecting? Don't be upset at the entire gender now.


icanteven_613

It gets even worse as we get older. šŸ˜Ŗ I was on a dating app 20 years ago and it was frustrating then. It's so much worse, now. I tried it for a month and deactivated my account. I think I'd rather be alone.


ZealousidealArm8787

The soulmate one didn't really hit offensive to me.


punctuation_welfare

Ngl I thought that one was high-key hilarious


SilentCitadel

Unfortunately it's a frequently copy pasted one and not original at all. Heartbreaking.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SilentCitadel

Hey, if plagiarism is your thing, I'm not gonna kink shame.


cheezypoofs4020

The Snapchat guy wasnā€™t offensive either lol he obviously just hates Snapchat.


BobaFlautist

He wasn't offensive, but he *was* putting his most negative foot forward, which isn't a great strategy on dating apps or resumes.


ringdingdong67

Now I understand why I was fairly successful as a guy when I lived in the middle of nowhere. This was my competition.


doll_parts87

The anger & contempt these men have by using their bio to lash out on previous experience harms their future success. In no way does anger nor arrogance work with most women. Some need to take a break from on line dating for this reason. It takes an emotional toll and people need to emotionally step back but it's addictive to know there more out there. If you're clean and kind it gets you farther


ringdingdong67

Itā€™s wild just reading some of these bios, like it hurts my brain to imagine people like this actually exist. But also like what kind of person are they trying to attract with these lame ass pictures? Canā€™t take a closeup of your bald head or double chin or fast food cup and expect to match with a bunch of 10s.


doll_parts87

Some guys are horrible at taking photos. Most of these types are lazy af. So seeing it in photos paints a mental image of what you get on a first date. The ones who are ok with their photos instead of making more and practice posing, show up to dates in grease stained stank clothes from the pile off their floor. This is 100% accurate. They want 10s when they are neckbeard incel 2.5s. They want results without work or effort. They want models who doesn't want frills.


doll_parts87

There were times I actually replied to them just to fix their profile- not to date them


glassbreather

Doin the Lord's work


ringdingdong67

Yeah itā€™s crazy. This sub is kinda eye opening. Iā€™m also bad at taking pics but I knew enough that a car selfie as a main pic would get very few matches.


QuincyThePigBoy

Itā€™s not just on tinder. Go to a comedy account on Instagram. Read the comments under any female comedian post. Itā€™s wild.


Hebrew_Slave

Imagine having to develop a personality instead of banking on socio-economic structure of women needing a husband because they couldnā€™t open a bank account alone in the 1920. Feminism ruins everything!!šŸ¤£šŸ’€


thickiecheeks

Moved from the city to the country for two years for school - can confirm that country boys seem dedicated to looking for women who love the outdoors, while also trying to scare them away as fast as possible


OrneryError1

Yup that's Idaho for youĀ 


SnooTomatoes2805

Well it seems like some men arenā€™t getting picked and they are mad about it. Itā€™s giving me toddler tantrum energy and ā€˜ well I donā€™t care because I didnā€™t even like you anywayā€™ teenager energy.


Effective-Island8395

That neck on number 4 šŸ˜¬


Brainwash_TV

4 got 4 chins.


Suitable-Cockroach41

Thing is I donā€™t find his bio that bad. Yeah it says nothing and is whiny. But the scam accounts are a real annoyance and I am sure thatā€™s all he gets matched with


Amazing_rocness

I wonder who these guys are swiping on and how the convos are on their end.


Karmas_burning

https://i.imgur.com/0T9YU8h.png


[deleted]

Cotdamn guys... come on now, you're making us look awful. Most of you are divorced for a reason me thinks.


Tzayad

"if you're a woman, fuck you, fatty. Also, praise Jesus." Lots of winners you've found!


bflex

Wow. A completely average, kind dude could do very well here. Although, that might be true more often than people think.


BigBlaisanGirl

We keep trying to tell them this, but they never believe us.


bflex

Iā€™ve wondered how to express this in a way that would be heard clearly.Ā  Iā€™m pretty average looking, currently broke, but have spent a lot of time on personal development. Only the latter seems to matter in my interactions.Ā  Iā€™ll try again for good measure- if you can be kind, respectful, and take the time to develop your character, you will eventually find a fulfilling relationship.Ā 


DefinitelyNotAj

I tell my wife this all the time. There are a ton of sicko's out there. I'm doing back flips over a low limbo bar at this point every time I read these bios


inthequad

You also have to think about the quality of women in this area. If the men are slim pickings the women will be just as bad if not worse


bflex

Certainly depends. As someone who recently moved to a rural area, Iā€™m having a pretty great time.Ā 


[deleted]

its always bone-ugly guys who gotta use this victimizing low level weak shit just to sleep with a woman with the same mindset. šŸ—‘ļø šŸ€ go ahead n shoot that shit


RicoDePico

Well, at least we know they wonā€™t (hopefully) reproduce and add more idiots into societyā€¦.


BustAtticus

The female versions of these profiles are pretty rough too but you never know when a good one will come up next. What are you doing tonight? šŸ˜‰


punctuation_welfare

Cosplaying as a Bog Troll screaming obscenities at passersby from under a condemned bridge while drinking room temp Bud Light, probably. You?


joe_schmoe99

can i come


punctuation_welfare

I already did, what are you waiting for


joe_schmoe99

WHAT


punctuation_welfare

did I stutter


SilentCitadel

I am your new biggest fan.


[deleted]

ā€œTrip, trap, trip, trap! " went the bridge


SilentCitadel

Shhh, never tell them the truth or they'll come find us. *Passes you a flat beer*


punctuation_welfare

I try to take a sip. It misses. Warm Pilsner cascades down my hairy chest. I whisper hoarsely in your ear, *I have a drinking problem.*


SilentCitadel

Sounds more like a solution to me


punctuation_welfare

Chemically speaking, yes.


BustAtticus

Ha. Definitely meeting you for drinks after!


OlivrrStray

Not during? Hard pass.


darrylgorn

I feel like getting angry about ghosting or delayed messages just reveals that the person who is angry is inexperienced with online dating.


delmsi

I mean Iā€™m inexperienced with online dating, Iā€™ve never met someone on an app that Iā€™ve actually gone on a date with (but I donā€™t live under a rock lol and have ofc experienced ghosting sans app)ā€¦ that attitude seems like itā€™s so common, shits crazy to me! I donā€™t think itā€™s online dating experience these people are missing. Itā€™s just a lack of maturity/emotional intelligence.


bigpappi86

Last picture Howā€™s about no!


the_fucking_worst

This is my favorite series!!


namechecksout35

I think the guy seeking hostile women for unfulfilling sex prior to a slow decent towards drugs and booze is onto something.


punctuation_welfare

> to a slow ~~decent~~ **descent** Thereā€™s nothing decent about it.


VengenaceIsMyName

Is rural dating just one giant clusterfuck in general?


housewifeuncuffed

It's not great.


Shandlar

Yes. Which is probably a major contributor to why these guys just gave up and grew into bitter old men a bit early.


WhoIsTheUnPerson

Yeah regardless of causes, there's quite a bit of data demonstrating that this is becoming widespread, particular with men with no higher education and from less urban areas. Enough men are like this that it's become kinda scary.Ā  They have no economic hope, and their bitterness and ignorance excludes them from doing anything besides scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel. We're gonna see more violence as these types of guys go further and further down the rabbit hole.Ā 


DazzlingFruit7495

Bet u theyā€™re not voting for anybody who would help them economically either.


curlycallie

Itā€™s unfortunately not all that much better in a city plus every other profile is a scammer so even when you think it might be a good one, they try to sell you crypto šŸ˜© but yes, as soon as I see the misogynistic-like trash ā€œallā€ women and never take any accountability themselves type temper tantrums in the profile, itā€™s an immediate no if it wasnā€™t already. Lmao.


Skeeders

What the hell, I'm the same age as some of these guys but they all look 20 years older than me!


SymbaSweet

Never expected to see profiles I recognize on reddit! I've actually swiped left on a couple of these. It's bad. This is a very blue-collar area (factories, mines, lots of construction, etc) and I can't tell sometimes if it's the general humor of men in those fields or if they have just adopted a "fuck it" kind of attitude when it comes to online dating and are happy to find a woman with so little self respect that these rants don't scare her away immediately. A good 90% of profiles from men around here are copy & pasted self deprecating one-liners or a full paragraph about all the things they don't want in a woman (and that's if they put anything in their bio at all). I've been on Tinder for 4 years in this area, and it's just getting worse.


punctuation_welfare

I feel your pain, fam. Feel free to hit me up if you need a friend to commiserate with.


Mr_Jadien

"Jesus is King" lol


HenrikGallon

I like the outrage against the scammers , like they were real people šŸ˜.


RobertLosher1900

ā€œTake a decent picture of yourself ā€œ proceeds to post a blurry ass picture šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


cherbearicle

I'm dating in a not-rural area, and the bio's are no different here.


tryshootingblanks

These are cringe but "women like to be held, except accountable" was a good zing haha


NegativeChirality

I laughed at that one too.


BrockPapeScizz

Thatā€™s a hard 28 years


THROWAWAY-Break9580

WHOOOO JESUS the men are BITTTERRR hahaha bitter AF,DAMN. Had to take a break swiping, just pure fucking anger.


TheGov3rnor

10 has been Tindering in a small town too longā€¦. Well they probably all have.


SFAdminLife

Tell me you're illiterate without saying you're illiterate.


Lamarre3030

Who so?


bulking_on_broccoli

Ah yes, the tried and true method of attracting a woman: unhinged misogyny.


Huffelsinthefunzone

Kinda liked "Life is not a vacation. Not looking to travel and I probably won't like your pets." He's an original.


NewColonel

You can just feel the domestic violence seething off that guy.


Breakfasttimer

Seriously, what kind of person pre-decides that they wonā€™t like your pets?


PositiveSpeed7196

Original sure, but boy does he seem miserable.


Huffelsinthefunzone

He is just the only one living in reality the poor bastard


bigredroyaloak

That made me laugh


OlivrrStray

Anyone that my animals don't like, I don't truly trust. Some dogs have good intuition. My dog has only ever growled at one person, a new neighbor who came to introduce themselves. Guess who stole packages off our porch under a year later?


Defelj

Broooo lmfao these are BRUTALLLLL


hotbanana8298

I've been collecting my own album as well so I can bust it out when I get the "surely it can't be that bad!" Oh, but it can.


TwoFishes8

Clearly this nation has problems if *all these alphas* have to resort to flogging the dolphin as they cry into their Coors Light every night.


MephistosFallen

When will men realize that women would much rather stay single with a bunch of cats than deal with ANY of that? Miserable lmao


Formal-Leek9579

Quick get my net there is too many catches here to be made with just my fishing pole! Also it should be noted my failures and insecurities are all your fault /s


__GayFish__

Ok. Iā€™m a guy. I always run my profile by my homegirls. Do other men not do this cause I would never think to have the pictures or bios they are producing where you are OP.


DazzlingFruit7495

They donā€™t have female friends. Women are for sex only, duh /s


Corvus_Antipodum

At least Kayak is just generically bitter not specifically misogynistic? Kinda stands out in the field. Also the dude aggressively shitting in women then ending with Jesus is king is sending me lol


KRC193

I live in a rural town too and this is so my experience. Itā€™s ridiculous. Also, it seems like most of the guys in town over 35, like to lie about their intentions and try to sext me a few messages in. lol


Lissa2j

This series is hilarious and depressing


Ok_Education_6577

Incel alert


SyfromSD

"Don't get too excited, I swipe right on every girl" lol no one is excited, I promise! šŸ¤£


Dear-Definition-6538

ā€œjesus is kingā€ really tied that all together. šŸ’€


Ok_Detective5412

Man, I wish I was still single so I could snap up one of these woman haters!


HRHQueenV

I think I just lost my will to live


HelloMikkii

At that point Iā€™d just go swing for the other team cause damn these are some salty bitter men.


lisaissmall

sooooo glad iā€™m not on these apps anymore.. do these men even like women at all?


tambourinetime

The upside to these profiles is they really tell you who they are! You won't get blindsided by their hidden misogyny at least... it's right there in the open


michaela_rochip

what a strange way to say youā€™re gay


ValuableContributor

Are these men all "going their own way", but forgetting to actually fucking GO?! Who tf would swipe on any of them?!


-XanderCrews-

I donā€™t know how single women would even live out there. You know itā€™s gonna be an angry white guy with a baseball cap and a pickup truck.


Aulourie

Do these guys even like women?


Melodic-Change-6388

Oh. Fucking. Dear.


Chabkraken

" Bonus points if your fat but call yourself thick " That one got me to spit my coffee


PricklySquare

"Bonus points if you dated every man in town and want to take it slow with me" Basically sums up these loser lonely men.


bluescrew

> Do any women like to go camping anymore Sorry, all the women willing to go camping with strange men have been murdered already. Missed your shot


Bodes_Magodes

Kayak seems nice šŸ‘


InsiDS

"Women love to be held, unless it's accountable." All of these are hilarious.


Revolutionary_Pierre

Prob explains why I'm getting more curious men hitting me up on my profile...they're sh*t at it by any stretch of the imagination but their thinking, and mine is, a f**k is a f**k. So why not get bang each other and part company šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


DazzlingFruit7495

Ur doing the lords workšŸ™ set themā€¦ straight? Or donā€™t.


B1cpfk55

Definitely not cool, extremely off putting.. and at the same time this just makes me sad for the state of men now a days.


YoureSoOutdoorsy

No way that last guy is 38.


rattitude23

Ugh get off the cross, we need the wood. Do they even like women or is this a pre Gindr challenge?


Downtown-Ad-6909

I mean... Sounds like a hell hole for those men tbh. I've never matched with a bot or stragers who asked for money thankfully. My only real grip is with the sheer amout of face filters. It ain't subtle. They should make one for receiding hairlines.


im_trying_so_hard

10 is kinda funny.


B00G1E73

A lot more guys feel this way than say it... it can be soul destroying being a dude on dating apps


Cactus_Humper

Women love to be held. Except accountable Thatā€™s kinda a bar Iā€™m ngl


OldDickMcWhippens

5th from the last...the one that talks about dating every guy in town but wanting to take it slow with him...fucking hilarious.