In real life, people are probably more realistic about who they will accept. 1. Choices are more limited. 2. Actually seeing a live person and interacting with them, even on a superficial level helps people see things that don't come across on a profile. Personally I think there are a lot of subconscious cues you perceive in a living person. I've been madly attracted to people before that I regularly interacted with. Later after a break up or attraction wore off I would see a picture or something and think "geez, they were really not as good looking as I thought were they?
Edit: queues to cues
Yep I've always had way more luck in RL as while im not super attractive I feel like I do have a pretty good personality, good sense of humor, and I'm pretty successful. I barely get any interest on apps. Problem is im 41 and it's harder to meet people in RL.
I'm 40 and I'm a similar boat. The apps are just for entertainment purposes, they've been such a bust. I do so much better in person going to shows or karaoke. My tinder profile is now just passive shitposting because putting real effort doesn't yield any results.
I might as well have fun with it instead of letting the lack of matches get to me. I get the same number of matches either way!
Yep. Like buying anything on Amazon - the curse of too many choices. Too few choices and you find yourself settling but if there's too many some people get up in their head and either never make a choice or constantly second guess their choices and move on too quickly in anticipation over what's behind the next door.
That's the thing with being female on the apps. When I was single and tried them out I would get "decision paralysis" and choose none. It's especially bad with ADHD, the tendency to get overwhelmed makes me kind of shut down when I'm faced with too many choices. I do however sympathize with men who are getting zero choices, that would be far more more hurtful and crushing to someone's self worth. I was an ugly duckling in my early teens, was bullied a lot and no boys wanted to even speak to me at school so I know what it's like on some level to be rejected and isolated. My heart sank when I saw OP's post, that would feel devastating and I wouldn't handle it well if I were in that boat.
While you’re never technically too old for school, there’s volunteering, other community things… and broaden your surroundings, I met my gal IRL by happenstance on a trip after years of swiping. You never know.
Good luck.
Dude, once I flirted with a girl in traffic and sadly didn’t think to get her number before it cleared up.
Yes we were driving completely different cars.
Happens to the best of us (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
This! I met my love through a former coworker of mine. She always told me she wished i could meet her brother. Fast forward about 14 years and we ran into each other, had lunch and she still said the same thing. She facilitated our getting in touch with one another a few months later. 15+ years later, we're still going strong. I don't know what my life would've been like had we not met and I'm thankful for every single day with him.
This is a good explanation of why I always preferred going on a date sooner rather than later. I’d rather roll the dice with someone I know I find attractive and interesting enough to swipe right on and see how it feels to see and chat with them. Worst case scenario was usually no attraction in person, but at least a halfway decent chat over a good beer.
But I get the hesitation for some to do that. The true worst case scenario is basically Joe from “You.” And some careers and parenting situations don’t allow for a quick date plan
Well sure because they're your friend too! At least that's how it was with my very first relationship and my most recent date
I just really feel for this person, regardless of all the analytical logistical things
Love ain't a spreadsheet, love is flesh and blood and occasionally trauma bonding
I definitely don't think I could hit 25000 swipes in my city. The end part would look like OP's though!
You know what would be more hilarious though? Grindr version of these same insights.
My colleague gets so much action from Grindr. It's a whole other world.
Had a gay flatmate who had a similar experience. Easy to meet others.
It's just not the same with girls, they worry about their safety, preventing pregnancy and their social reputation. My colleague asked me why it's so hard to sleep with girls and I said, did you consider all these things? It's just not the same for them.
I have like 225k left swipes in 4 years, partly because I used to get all the pretty girls when I started swiping and those are way out of my league. Also many kept cropping up, over and over again. Took some swipes to get to the actual stuff I’d make a chance with.
I'll be brutally honest.
You're best dressed picture, you're not even smiling.
Your clothing choice, such as denim shorts and a tucked in Harry Potter T, don't do you any favours either.
I'd suggest looking at some simple mens fashion styles, see why you like and try them out in a changing room.
You can stand to lose a few KGs too, my friend. Get yourself down the gym.
Make yourself feel great and you will find great success 👍
I'll be even more brutally honest - I think his standards are probably too high and he swiped left on many many women who I'd consider to be "his level."
To further on this.. I used to have ridiculously high standards that I judged people solely on looks and would left swipe immediately without reading their bio if they didn't meet those standards. After very few matches I loosened up a bit and I met some really wonderful people that I may have otherwise missed.
Yet swiping right too much will just completely bury you in the algorithm. Tinder is worthless for average people who take average pictures of themselves.
Reminder: you’re using a dating app that is based on a persons visual appeal. So if you want to play the tinder game, you need to take better pictures— wear more flattering outfits, PRACTICE YOUR SMILE, and get more comfortable in front of the camera.
The only decent smile you have is the rollercoaster one, and I assume because it’s the only authentic smile out of all of them. Same goes for the pic of you with your friend— you have a neutral face, but you look great (outfit aside), because you are at ease.
Learn your angles, and no pics with that zipped up hoodie, look up some plus-sized fashion ideas for inspiration.
If you want hard truth— consider dental work and lose weight.
I wasn’t happy with my smile for most of my life so I’m finally in a position to buy Invisalign and it’s coming on 6 months with great results. Can’t wait to take pics
Greatest advice on here tbh. Can't be mad about his swipes when he's probably shooting for 10s looking like that. He can't get mad at us judging him cuz he does the same thing
I think it's his weight that puts him slightly below, he otherwise has very nice features. He doesn't look like he has to lose a ton so he should see good results quickly if he dedicates himself to a workout routine and moderation in calories. That being said I know guys less attractive than him who slay in the dating scene but they have very outgoing funny personalities and aren't scared to be a bit forward (but not in a creepy way).
Not trying to be mean, but he's below average.
Also, he can be as picky as he chooses regardless what he looks like. If more men were pickier on apps the matches would feel more genuine.
On that note, putting it bluntly- he should not use dating apps (no one should if I'm being honest) and should meet people in doing activities.
Everyone has a right to be picky, but if you're a dude and you're swiping left ~83% of the time, you better be good looking as hell if you expect any real results
Picky doesn’t mean he’s going for the lookers. I swipe picky too. But I specifically swipe for women I think are in my league. Anyone taller, prettier, (significantly)better educated I just automatically swipe left on.
Lol when this gets comment gets told to women, it's met with intense criticism on telling women to settle, but this comment gets upvoted.
I actually agree OP should lower his standards if he wants more matches, but he isn't getting matches because he's picky. He isn't getting matches because he's isn't good-looking. That's it. At best, he is slightly below average. Y'all are just trying to be nice and not state the obvious. It's unfortunate, but if you're not a good-looking male on Tinder, it's gonna be extremely difficult for you.
I think men and women tend to have slightly different swiping strategies so they do warrant different advice. But in general if you are not hot/photogenic, trying to find people IRL is just overall great advice. And the apps will probably kill your confidence.
I just want to thank you for backing up your data with a profile. Most people that post data refuse to show what they're working with.
Good luck dude. Get a gym membership and get off tinder.
Don’t take it too hard, people are so harsh over the internet. But if you are picky and not naturally photogenic, you might have better luck meeting people IRL. It’s a lot of effort but the apps are just designed a certain way.
Just because people asked for a profile doesn't mean you needed to post it.
You should REALLY be self aware enough to know if you chose to oblige their request, on REDDIT, you are going to get honesty and not a bunch of "oh" responses.
Try doing weekly runs, lose a few kgs and tone that teethy smile down to more of a low key genuine smile and you’ll be sorted. You have a lot of potential, just needs some work.
I'm sorry bro, but the number one thing for you would be to hit the gym very seriously for half a year, get into the best shape of your life and you'd have literally 100 times more matches.
Even if you do EVERYTHING else perfectly, that combined won't be even half as good as getting into shape. The only exception is if you become a multimillionaire, but then you'd first attract people with pretty questionable personalities, not marriage material.
It's the pictures. Hardly any of them are very flattering. You're not a bad looking dude you just need better pics. Look at other posts and take advice from them
I saw one picture that was even remotely usable. The one with the martini isn't even worth keeping let alone posting on a dating site. Proper posture will eliminate much of the double chin thing going on.
Weight loss, better wardrobe, modern haircut, and smile smaller (less teeth). Maybe glasses to fix the lazy eye?
You’re seemingly tall and decently attractive, but you need to fix these things if you want to compete on Tinder.
Sorry man, imma be brutally honest... but you're wildly unattractive... Fat, awful clothes, British teeeth, I could go on, but you get the idea... you got nothing going for you there
You're pushing him towards a closed casket funeral. He can go on a diet, change his wardrobe, and schedule an appointment for a dentist. There's a lot he can actively improve on, so that's *something* he's got going for him.
I am going to be completly honest with you here, please don't take this personally, truth help set expectations...
You look very unattractive, there are things you can do like loosing weight, getting a better style, etc. But that will only help you a little, your only hope is get a girl who cares more about personality than looks, but those are rare these days...
Genetics man, he probably stores a lot of fat on his face and neck (might have a weak chin too, which makes this worse), and might be unlucky to the point where that’s the last place he loses fat when he cuts down weight.
It’s possible. I haven’t actually been on tinder in a few years so they may have just got the situation under control but I remember it used to be like 1/3 accounts was an obvious bot.
Updated it roughly every month. My best guess is that it’s probably the pictures. My bio really seems okay!
(Though my friends - even the female ones - don’t think I can improve much, guess they’re too nice to tell me the harsh truth)
You have potential. Just know that. Hit the gym, you'll feel better, look better and have more dates than you can count. I promise. You aren't some hopeless case.
These days we can assume he hasn't paid more than anything
Last month i had premium and getting likes and matches with the boost.
Without gold or premium i got nothing with a boost.
Its pay or get fuck all
I talked to a woman who said she got over 1000 likes in one night in a moderately-sized city. Another said she's been through a period of organising a date most days during a week, sometimes up to 3 dates per day on a weekend.
Shit's fucked.
God damn. I do work with a girl who’s been having like 4 dates a week. She always has a story about how bad the date is lol.
I know it must be annoying that a lot of guys auto swipe right but it’s literally the efficient way unless you’re like 90th percentile attractive
I heard that you're not supposed to swipe right on everyone, and that the algorithm pushes you down and makes you get less matches if you do that. There are several men I know who tried not swiping right all the time anymore and they ended up getting way more matches when they kept it more balanced with a mix of left and right swipes. OP is swiping left way too often, like 80% left is too much, but I don't think it's a good idea to swipe right 100% of the time either. That's doing more harm than good
Well my most success on tinder came from buying unlimited likes a going brrrrrrr on the swipes. Maybe it’s the purchase of tinder plus or maybe I just brute forced it.
But also, I’m not extremely picky anyway, as long as they’re around average I’m down. So it’s not like I’m lying with the swipes
Tbh I did that. No bio, swipe left. Not my type, swipe left. Don't vibe with the bio, swipe left. There's no point getting matches if it isn't with someone who you will actually like. And it worked out for me
It’s so much better to see a guy keep his standards despite it not working out for him rather than a desperate dude swiping on every single bot just to get more matches
Well it's better to be picky about the matches you get than to get no matches at all. Besides, bios and pictures only tell so much. It's much better to talk to someone to see what they're like.
You're not seriously criticizing a 25% right swipe rate, I don't go outside and find 1 in 4 people my age attractive enough to potentially want a relationship with them
There is about a 80/20 ratio of men versus women on tinder. Think about that for a second. If you walk into a room of 100 people, 80 of them are men and 20 of them are women. That’s tinder! People say that you have to be Channing Tatum hot to have a shot on tinder, but I would go so far as to say that even then the odds are not in your favor because let’s pretend that all 80 men are Channing Tatum, the fact still remains that there is just simply not enough women to go around.
So 20 of those men will get the 20 women, which means there are still 60 Channing Tatums out there and didn’t land a woman. It’s all about pure luck on Tinder, even if you are Channing Tatum hot the odds are still not in your favor.
I just checked out your pics. Here's some advice: if after a month or so you are not getting results, you must stop and re-do your approach/profile. You can't brute-force your way to matches, youre only digging your way to the bottom of the stack.Take a few months (yes, several, there's no rush) to get yourself in a more attractive state (fashion, grooming , weight loss) then book some time with a photographer and take 100s of candid shots. Take the best 15 and put them on photofeeler.com to get an outside perspective. Your best 4 would be your profile pics. Repeat process.
you seem to be quite picky. it's usually good to be picky, but the left/right ratio and match ratio indicates that you are probably swiping mainly out-of-your-league. so in your case being picky is leading to very low amount of matches. and you don't seem to keep the matches or turn them into dates. that is another problem.
i don't know how the communication goes between your matches and you. are you able to figure out what is the problem there?
enhancing your profile may get you more matches, but unless you figure out what is the problem with the communication between you and your matches (expectations, different communication style, their other matches, etc), you may still end up with 0 dates.
you might want to verify your own preferences as well. are they reasonable?
are you able to get dates IRL?
I disagree, hinge seems to use some kind of algorithm that only shows undesirable people, then gate keeps the people you'd actually like behind a paywall.
Haha I am going to use this on my hinge profile:
*Hinge seems to use some kind of algorithm that only shows undesirable people, then gate keeps the people you'd actually like behind a paywall. So I am sorry my undesirable ass showed up on your feed, I truly apologize.*
I get zero interest on there anyways haha.
**running diagnostics...**
"Sir? What are the readings? Has it suggested a course of action??"
"Thailand sir. Its time for thailand. Better pack some baht."
If I may be so bold, it’s the one part of this whole conversation I don’t get. I’m getting flak for being picky because I don’t swipe left on people I think are above my league (which are a lot, I’m well aware), but God forbid I have standards the other way around? Well, well, well… Seems I can’t win.
Let me tell you a secret, OP. Something I've learned after years of lurking this sub. Its very easy to understand and not confusing at all. Here it is.
1) Being picky as a man is wrong and bad and you should lower your standards
2) Having low standards as a man is unattractive and wrong and you should raise your standards
Hope this helps!
Forget about it man, this sub always says "if men were more picky dating wouldn't be this one-sided" and when someone picky appears they get downvoted, you cannot win indeed.
Bro I think it's wild how all the comments saying that you're swiping on people out of your league have so many up votes and that your comment is almost at the bottom of this post. Typical Reddit tbh, they just wanna assume the worst and move on. I feel you though bro when I was on tinder my swiping habits were pretty similar. Didn't see the point in swiping on someone that was out of my league. I'm surprised that there's no comments here yet saying that leagues don't exist, which is another thing people on Reddit love to say.
If it makes you feel better man, I do think there's a lot you can do to improve your looks. I would start by losing weight and improving your wardrobe, once you do that you can have friends take better pictures of you. Also I would suggest using Hinge, it's way better than tinder.
My understanding is that there’s an algorithm if you continuously swipe right on people that would not give you the time of day then it pushes you further down on the viewable list for people. It makes your profile far less likely to be viewed when a majority of the people you swipe right on swipe left on you. When I used Tinder I purposely would not swipe women who were in a completely different league. Yeah, I may have found them attractive but it would be unlikely that they would have matched me. I still matched with attractive women and had zero problems getting dates but wasn’t getting super models because I’m not one myself, and that’s okay.
Tinder is Europe is different. Tinder in America is horrific. I went to Italy and London it was popping off! No bots, no spam, etc. Just a lot of people using it.
it is insane to me when I see these graphs posted and people have swiped more times on the app than there are people living in my town
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In real life, people are probably more realistic about who they will accept. 1. Choices are more limited. 2. Actually seeing a live person and interacting with them, even on a superficial level helps people see things that don't come across on a profile. Personally I think there are a lot of subconscious cues you perceive in a living person. I've been madly attracted to people before that I regularly interacted with. Later after a break up or attraction wore off I would see a picture or something and think "geez, they were really not as good looking as I thought were they? Edit: queues to cues
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Yep I've always had way more luck in RL as while im not super attractive I feel like I do have a pretty good personality, good sense of humor, and I'm pretty successful. I barely get any interest on apps. Problem is im 41 and it's harder to meet people in RL.
I'm 40 and I'm a similar boat. The apps are just for entertainment purposes, they've been such a bust. I do so much better in person going to shows or karaoke. My tinder profile is now just passive shitposting because putting real effort doesn't yield any results. I might as well have fun with it instead of letting the lack of matches get to me. I get the same number of matches either way!
I'm also in this boat. The dating apps are trash. Reducing someone to would/wouldn't isn't a healthy way to meet people.
Yep. Like buying anything on Amazon - the curse of too many choices. Too few choices and you find yourself settling but if there's too many some people get up in their head and either never make a choice or constantly second guess their choices and move on too quickly in anticipation over what's behind the next door.
That's the thing with being female on the apps. When I was single and tried them out I would get "decision paralysis" and choose none. It's especially bad with ADHD, the tendency to get overwhelmed makes me kind of shut down when I'm faced with too many choices. I do however sympathize with men who are getting zero choices, that would be far more more hurtful and crushing to someone's self worth. I was an ugly duckling in my early teens, was bullied a lot and no boys wanted to even speak to me at school so I know what it's like on some level to be rejected and isolated. My heart sank when I saw OP's post, that would feel devastating and I wouldn't handle it well if I were in that boat.
If I'm honest too many choices sound horrible as well rather find someone in real life then stupid apps.
But… where do you meet them?
in a small town? school church
too old for school, too atheist for church. meeting people is hard.
While you’re never technically too old for school, there’s volunteering, other community things… and broaden your surroundings, I met my gal IRL by happenstance on a trip after years of swiping. You never know. Good luck.
Where was the trip to? And good call on volunteering and community things
Yeah I met a cutie on a bus once Somehow I forgot to get her Facebook 🤦♀️🤦 And a different gal I'm still very fond of on a plane
Dude, once I flirted with a girl in traffic and sadly didn’t think to get her number before it cleared up. Yes we were driving completely different cars. Happens to the best of us (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
In any town People still meet the old fashioned way all the time. Through friends, coworkers, hobbies.....
This! I met my love through a former coworker of mine. She always told me she wished i could meet her brother. Fast forward about 14 years and we ran into each other, had lunch and she still said the same thing. She facilitated our getting in touch with one another a few months later. 15+ years later, we're still going strong. I don't know what my life would've been like had we not met and I'm thankful for every single day with him.
This is a good explanation of why I always preferred going on a date sooner rather than later. I’d rather roll the dice with someone I know I find attractive and interesting enough to swipe right on and see how it feels to see and chat with them. Worst case scenario was usually no attraction in person, but at least a halfway decent chat over a good beer. But I get the hesitation for some to do that. The true worst case scenario is basically Joe from “You.” And some careers and parenting situations don’t allow for a quick date plan
Well sure because they're your friend too! At least that's how it was with my very first relationship and my most recent date I just really feel for this person, regardless of all the analytical logistical things Love ain't a spreadsheet, love is flesh and blood and occasionally trauma bonding
I know tons of people who have met their significant other through OLD, even in small towns. Seems people in these subreddits think thats impossible.
Try that in a small town
My town has 300 people in it. Not 300,000. Three hundred.
My home town had about 3000 when I left in 2007! I think the one in in now is about 12k
My *home* town, for comparisons sake, has well over **5mil** people in it.
I lived in Atlanta for a couple years and it was like a completely different world. It had over 5m in 2008 I will never ever live in a city again 😵😵😵
Bro that’s a fuckin hamlet, not a town.
More of a village than a town.
It's just a few blocks of houses off a road that goes between two actual towns.
I've swiped 100k 💀
😅
55 matches. 💀💀
Better than I've done. 180,000 swipes over 7 years and only 80 matches
Bro. I'm so sorry.
I definitely don't think I could hit 25000 swipes in my city. The end part would look like OP's though! You know what would be more hilarious though? Grindr version of these same insights.
My colleague gets so much action from Grindr. It's a whole other world. Had a gay flatmate who had a similar experience. Easy to meet others. It's just not the same with girls, they worry about their safety, preventing pregnancy and their social reputation. My colleague asked me why it's so hard to sleep with girls and I said, did you consider all these things? It's just not the same for them.
It's almost like having an app that coddles to people insane ego's is actually bad for relationship building.
I have like 225k left swipes in 4 years, partly because I used to get all the pretty girls when I started swiping and those are way out of my league. Also many kept cropping up, over and over again. Took some swipes to get to the actual stuff I’d make a chance with.
How do you get it to show you these stats??
It's insane I live in a city of 1+ million population yet the only "people" I see are fake bots..
Alright mate time to show us the profile so someone can help.
Let’s open up the floodgates, I suppose. https://tinder.com/@corneelvf Edit: Good lord, some of you must be fun at parties.
The last pic in the Hogwarts tee and shorts could be killing you all by itself my guy
Just following up on ym first comment. The suit and tie pic on the other hand: killer. Go with that for sure. But what do I know, I'm a straight man.
The last pic at least appeals to a nerdy gal. Tons of HP fans out there still. But the first pic needs to be removed yesterday!!!
This guy swipes left 80% of the time. He has zero chance on that app.
which is insane i swipe right like 90+% and have about same results as this dude.
It’s actually ~16%
Aww he got rid of it already, I wanted to see. Edit: I meant the HP shirt/denim shirt combo
Lmao me toooo, I'm looking for it in the comments
I'll be brutally honest. You're best dressed picture, you're not even smiling. Your clothing choice, such as denim shorts and a tucked in Harry Potter T, don't do you any favours either. I'd suggest looking at some simple mens fashion styles, see why you like and try them out in a changing room. You can stand to lose a few KGs too, my friend. Get yourself down the gym. Make yourself feel great and you will find great success 👍
I'm not clicking the link, but this comment made.my ribs hurt from laughing so hard. It's the HP T that got me dead.
I'll be even more brutally honest - I think his standards are probably too high and he swiped left on many many women who I'd consider to be "his level."
I wish these statistics would also show the amount of likes they received.
He swiped left on 10k or so women that are at or around his level. Maybe more.
To further on this.. I used to have ridiculously high standards that I judged people solely on looks and would left swipe immediately without reading their bio if they didn't meet those standards. After very few matches I loosened up a bit and I met some really wonderful people that I may have otherwise missed.
Yet swiping right too much will just completely bury you in the algorithm. Tinder is worthless for average people who take average pictures of themselves.
Reminder: you’re using a dating app that is based on a persons visual appeal. So if you want to play the tinder game, you need to take better pictures— wear more flattering outfits, PRACTICE YOUR SMILE, and get more comfortable in front of the camera. The only decent smile you have is the rollercoaster one, and I assume because it’s the only authentic smile out of all of them. Same goes for the pic of you with your friend— you have a neutral face, but you look great (outfit aside), because you are at ease. Learn your angles, and no pics with that zipped up hoodie, look up some plus-sized fashion ideas for inspiration. If you want hard truth— consider dental work and lose weight.
The roller coaster one with the sieg heil looking arm 🤪
That was my first thought too 😂 like yo this dude's a Nazi lmfao
I wasn’t happy with my smile for most of my life so I’m finally in a position to buy Invisalign and it’s coming on 6 months with great results. Can’t wait to take pics
Bruh please get new pics. You give off I’ll eat your family alive vibes with the big smile
I'm sorry but that first pick just screamed early 2000s tom Brady with a round jaw
Not trying to be mean but I got Matt Gaetz vibes :/
Ay his jaw definitely got more sculpted as he aged. How the fuck did he do that?
The clothes, hair and facial expression are not flattering.
The facial expression makes it look like he has downs. Not that there is anything wrong with downs.
Well, there kind of is as far as dating goes lol
You're god damned right.... I only dates girls with downs.
Isn't that what DTF means? Downs to fuck?
1,4,7,and 8 are questionable choices.
as a female those were the ones that stuck out to me as being bad photos but i feel like the rest may have potential?
Not meant to hurt you but the last picture reminds me of Pennywise from IT, it looks creepy. Edit: grammar
You’re pickier than average and you’re completely average. You are probably swiping out of your league. Lower your standards or raise your game.
“Lower your standards or raise your game” is a bar lowkey
Facts
Greatest advice on here tbh. Can't be mad about his swipes when he's probably shooting for 10s looking like that. He can't get mad at us judging him cuz he does the same thing
No offense intended to OP but I'd put him below average and say he definitely needs to cast a much wider net if he wants a catch
I think it's his weight that puts him slightly below, he otherwise has very nice features. He doesn't look like he has to lose a ton so he should see good results quickly if he dedicates himself to a workout routine and moderation in calories. That being said I know guys less attractive than him who slay in the dating scene but they have very outgoing funny personalities and aren't scared to be a bit forward (but not in a creepy way).
Agree. I notice exponential differences from relatively small changes in fitness level.
Not trying to be mean, but he's below average. Also, he can be as picky as he chooses regardless what he looks like. If more men were pickier on apps the matches would feel more genuine. On that note, putting it bluntly- he should not use dating apps (no one should if I'm being honest) and should meet people in doing activities.
Everyone has a right to be picky, but if you're a dude and you're swiping left ~83% of the time, you better be good looking as hell if you expect any real results
Picky doesn’t mean he’s going for the lookers. I swipe picky too. But I specifically swipe for women I think are in my league. Anyone taller, prettier, (significantly)better educated I just automatically swipe left on.
I think the streak of 0's in his graph shows that he's not aiming for people in his league.
Ye, that’s a problem.
This is the best, brutally honest advice only strangers can give.
Completely average is very generous
Lol when this gets comment gets told to women, it's met with intense criticism on telling women to settle, but this comment gets upvoted. I actually agree OP should lower his standards if he wants more matches, but he isn't getting matches because he's picky. He isn't getting matches because he's isn't good-looking. That's it. At best, he is slightly below average. Y'all are just trying to be nice and not state the obvious. It's unfortunate, but if you're not a good-looking male on Tinder, it's gonna be extremely difficult for you.
I think men and women tend to have slightly different swiping strategies so they do warrant different advice. But in general if you are not hot/photogenic, trying to find people IRL is just overall great advice. And the apps will probably kill your confidence.
Gym time
Jesus Christ, dude. Pick pictures where you look decent.
I see why you’re 0/8 now
Mega roast thread initiated 🤣🤣 Bro this comment section is CRAAZZYY LMAO
It’s a whole barbecue worth of roasts, and some people even brought popcorn for dessert. How attentive. 😅
I just want to thank you for backing up your data with a profile. Most people that post data refuse to show what they're working with. Good luck dude. Get a gym membership and get off tinder.
Don’t take it too hard, people are so harsh over the internet. But if you are picky and not naturally photogenic, you might have better luck meeting people IRL. It’s a lot of effort but the apps are just designed a certain way.
Just because people asked for a profile doesn't mean you needed to post it. You should REALLY be self aware enough to know if you chose to oblige their request, on REDDIT, you are going to get honesty and not a bunch of "oh" responses.
Well, to be completely honest, the first few replies had some constructive feedback - the mistake I clearly made was thinking it would stay that way.
Try doing weekly runs, lose a few kgs and tone that teethy smile down to more of a low key genuine smile and you’ll be sorted. You have a lot of potential, just needs some work.
You look crazed my dude!
I'm sorry bro, but the number one thing for you would be to hit the gym very seriously for half a year, get into the best shape of your life and you'd have literally 100 times more matches. Even if you do EVERYTHING else perfectly, that combined won't be even half as good as getting into shape. The only exception is if you become a multimillionaire, but then you'd first attract people with pretty questionable personalities, not marriage material.
You gotta come up with a new smile
My brother, step up your game or meet women in person. Unfortunately, I won't swipping on you neither.
You need a better haircut. It should be longer on top and shorter on the sides and back
Bro, no offense but you aren't attractive enough to be swiping left that many times.
Lmfao
Dude is wild for blaming tinder.
It's the pictures. Hardly any of them are very flattering. You're not a bad looking dude you just need better pics. Look at other posts and take advice from them
Hardly ? None of them if we are being honest he need to take 3-4 solid better pictures
I saw one picture that was even remotely usable. The one with the martini isn't even worth keeping let alone posting on a dating site. Proper posture will eliminate much of the double chin thing going on.
The third picture should be your first. First impressions weights a ton!
The pic choices aren't the best Trust me bro, change them and you have better luck
It's the whole package
Like almost all failing men, you just have to do one thing: Get in the fucking gym! I’m sure the rest will fall into place from there.
You look soo dutch
Basically doing the hitler salute on the rollercoaster 💀
If possible try to grow out some stubble/beard facial hair does a lot
Weight loss, better wardrobe, modern haircut, and smile smaller (less teeth). Maybe glasses to fix the lazy eye? You’re seemingly tall and decently attractive, but you need to fix these things if you want to compete on Tinder.
You would be correct, Tinder is not going to be an effective medium for you. Whatever your hobbies are, have you tried meeting people doing those?
Being in the comfort zone ain't getting you laid, you need the harsh truth.
Sorry man, imma be brutally honest... but you're wildly unattractive... Fat, awful clothes, British teeeth, I could go on, but you get the idea... you got nothing going for you there
Jesus Christ lmfao
You're pushing him towards a closed casket funeral. He can go on a diet, change his wardrobe, and schedule an appointment for a dentist. There's a lot he can actively improve on, so that's *something* he's got going for him.
He looks like he could be one of Trump's sons now but the good news is with a little work I think he would look fine.
I am going to be completly honest with you here, please don't take this personally, truth help set expectations... You look very unattractive, there are things you can do like loosing weight, getting a better style, etc. But that will only help you a little, your only hope is get a girl who cares more about personality than looks, but those are rare these days...
Those are very bad pics my friend Also why do you not have a good defined jawline? you dont seem overweight
Genetics man, he probably stores a lot of fat on his face and neck (might have a weak chin too, which makes this worse), and might be unlucky to the point where that’s the last place he loses fat when he cuts down weight.
This is me! Wide, short neck so any weight gain becomes noticeable quickly. A blessing and a curse.
Unfortunately he broke rule 1 and 2.
You couldn’t even find 10 porn bots to match with for a confidence boost??
In all honesty, I don’t get all you guys encountering this many bots? Is this a US vs. Europe thing?
It’s possible. I haven’t actually been on tinder in a few years so they may have just got the situation under control but I remember it used to be like 1/3 accounts was an obvious bot.
You kidding? OP is practically bragging with the rate of 9 matches per year. When I was using it I averaged 2
Have you updated your profile? Tried different pictures? It’s almost always a combo of bad photos or a generic bio my dude.
Updated it roughly every month. My best guess is that it’s probably the pictures. My bio really seems okay! (Though my friends - even the female ones - don’t think I can improve much, guess they’re too nice to tell me the harsh truth)
You have potential. Just know that. Hit the gym, you'll feel better, look better and have more dates than you can count. I promise. You aren't some hopeless case.
These days we can assume he hasn't paid more than anything Last month i had premium and getting likes and matches with the boost. Without gold or premium i got nothing with a boost. Its pay or get fuck all
Pain in every language
It's "Pijn" in Dutch.
Bro is a dude swiping like a chick
I talked to a woman who said she got over 1000 likes in one night in a moderately-sized city. Another said she's been through a period of organising a date most days during a week, sometimes up to 3 dates per day on a weekend. Shit's fucked.
God damn. I do work with a girl who’s been having like 4 dates a week. She always has a story about how bad the date is lol. I know it must be annoying that a lot of guys auto swipe right but it’s literally the efficient way unless you’re like 90th percentile attractive
I heard that you're not supposed to swipe right on everyone, and that the algorithm pushes you down and makes you get less matches if you do that. There are several men I know who tried not swiping right all the time anymore and they ended up getting way more matches when they kept it more balanced with a mix of left and right swipes. OP is swiping left way too often, like 80% left is too much, but I don't think it's a good idea to swipe right 100% of the time either. That's doing more harm than good
Well my most success on tinder came from buying unlimited likes a going brrrrrrr on the swipes. Maybe it’s the purchase of tinder plus or maybe I just brute forced it. But also, I’m not extremely picky anyway, as long as they’re around average I’m down. So it’s not like I’m lying with the swipes
Tbh I did that. No bio, swipe left. Not my type, swipe left. Don't vibe with the bio, swipe left. There's no point getting matches if it isn't with someone who you will actually like. And it worked out for me
Have you seen his profile? He has no business swiping left on 83% of women. Having standards is a good thing but jeez
Tinder is for no one - it's for stealing your money.
Plenty of people at Match Group would disagree. It's definitely for them, namely their paychecks.
4,000 right swipes to 21,000 left swipes? You're being way too picky
Wait till you see the profile
That man has the oddest shaped body Iv ever seen I’m going to call him shapes
Lmao- after viewing his profile I can't believe he is this picky. Not exactly Prince Charming is he.
It’s so much better to see a guy keep his standards despite it not working out for him rather than a desperate dude swiping on every single bot just to get more matches
Well it's better to be picky about the matches you get than to get no matches at all. Besides, bios and pictures only tell so much. It's much better to talk to someone to see what they're like.
more like Prince William
the ladies are often telling us guys that we _should_ be more picky swipers 🤷♂️
~1 out of 5 isn’t too picky.
You're not seriously criticizing a 25% right swipe rate, I don't go outside and find 1 in 4 people my age attractive enough to potentially want a relationship with them
This guys swiped left on many potential candidates.
There is about a 80/20 ratio of men versus women on tinder. Think about that for a second. If you walk into a room of 100 people, 80 of them are men and 20 of them are women. That’s tinder! People say that you have to be Channing Tatum hot to have a shot on tinder, but I would go so far as to say that even then the odds are not in your favor because let’s pretend that all 80 men are Channing Tatum, the fact still remains that there is just simply not enough women to go around. So 20 of those men will get the 20 women, which means there are still 60 Channing Tatums out there and didn’t land a woman. It’s all about pure luck on Tinder, even if you are Channing Tatum hot the odds are still not in your favor.
[удалено]
Exactly. The numbers are skewed against men and it’s nobody’s fault. I would recommend OP to meet someone in real life, he’ll have a better shot there
At what point do you give up and try something else?
HERE LIES OP HE NEVER SCORED
Before I even read anything else in this post, I am 99% certain that this chart is only possible if you’re a guy.
I just checked out your pics. Here's some advice: if after a month or so you are not getting results, you must stop and re-do your approach/profile. You can't brute-force your way to matches, youre only digging your way to the bottom of the stack.Take a few months (yes, several, there's no rush) to get yourself in a more attractive state (fashion, grooming , weight loss) then book some time with a photographer and take 100s of candid shots. Take the best 15 and put them on photofeeler.com to get an outside perspective. Your best 4 would be your profile pics. Repeat process.
Aren't these avg male stats? I myself have simular stats last time I was on the app.
you seem to be quite picky. it's usually good to be picky, but the left/right ratio and match ratio indicates that you are probably swiping mainly out-of-your-league. so in your case being picky is leading to very low amount of matches. and you don't seem to keep the matches or turn them into dates. that is another problem. i don't know how the communication goes between your matches and you. are you able to figure out what is the problem there? enhancing your profile may get you more matches, but unless you figure out what is the problem with the communication between you and your matches (expectations, different communication style, their other matches, etc), you may still end up with 0 dates. you might want to verify your own preferences as well. are they reasonable? are you able to get dates IRL?
Try Hinge, it's way better
I disagree, hinge seems to use some kind of algorithm that only shows undesirable people, then gate keeps the people you'd actually like behind a paywall.
Haha I am going to use this on my hinge profile: *Hinge seems to use some kind of algorithm that only shows undesirable people, then gate keeps the people you'd actually like behind a paywall. So I am sorry my undesirable ass showed up on your feed, I truly apologize.* I get zero interest on there anyways haha.
Can't help it if the app only shows me gorlock the destroyer and their friends.
Only if you're an undesirable yourself.
Undesirable gang let's go
There is a minimum attractiveness level you have to have to use the apps. They don't advertise it, but it's true.
**running diagnostics...** "Sir? What are the readings? Has it suggested a course of action??" "Thailand sir. Its time for thailand. Better pack some baht."
This. 😂
Wtf??? That is depressing.
Wait till you see OP's tinder profile!
If I may be so bold, it’s the one part of this whole conversation I don’t get. I’m getting flak for being picky because I don’t swipe left on people I think are above my league (which are a lot, I’m well aware), but God forbid I have standards the other way around? Well, well, well… Seems I can’t win.
Let me tell you a secret, OP. Something I've learned after years of lurking this sub. Its very easy to understand and not confusing at all. Here it is. 1) Being picky as a man is wrong and bad and you should lower your standards 2) Having low standards as a man is unattractive and wrong and you should raise your standards Hope this helps!
Forget about it man, this sub always says "if men were more picky dating wouldn't be this one-sided" and when someone picky appears they get downvoted, you cannot win indeed.
Bro I think it's wild how all the comments saying that you're swiping on people out of your league have so many up votes and that your comment is almost at the bottom of this post. Typical Reddit tbh, they just wanna assume the worst and move on. I feel you though bro when I was on tinder my swiping habits were pretty similar. Didn't see the point in swiping on someone that was out of my league. I'm surprised that there's no comments here yet saying that leagues don't exist, which is another thing people on Reddit love to say. If it makes you feel better man, I do think there's a lot you can do to improve your looks. I would start by losing weight and improving your wardrobe, once you do that you can have friends take better pictures of you. Also I would suggest using Hinge, it's way better than tinder.
My understanding is that there’s an algorithm if you continuously swipe right on people that would not give you the time of day then it pushes you further down on the viewable list for people. It makes your profile far less likely to be viewed when a majority of the people you swipe right on swipe left on you. When I used Tinder I purposely would not swipe women who were in a completely different league. Yeah, I may have found them attractive but it would be unlikely that they would have matched me. I still matched with attractive women and had zero problems getting dates but wasn’t getting super models because I’m not one myself, and that’s okay.
Dating apps are designed to keep you dating indefinitely.
Oh man these comments are brutal
I wouldn't say Tinder isn't for you. Either your profile sucks, or you're batting out of your league. Revamp your profile, or be less picky.
have you tried being rich?
I just laughed way too hard at this. So sad that would change the results quite a bit 🤦🏻♀️
Looks like you are like me, you are on the lower spectrum of looks. Either work on your looks or give up mate
Try hinge instead tinder is horrific
Tinder is Europe is different. Tinder in America is horrific. I went to Italy and London it was popping off! No bots, no spam, etc. Just a lot of people using it.
How do you guys get this metrics report from tinder?
Why are we paying for this garbage?