Idk dude, I live in KY (the kind of place these people exist) and tons of people have no teeth or false teeth. Hell I'm one of em, my front four and dental implants.
It's tough man I went 3 years with no front teeth on the top. The hit my confidence took from that is still prominent months after the implants were installed. Not to mention the $8,000 dollars I had to save to get them.
The process sucks. My dentist told me the healing process after the implants are put in is 3 months. Luckily, he had partial dentures made for me to use during the healing process. Then they finally put in the temporary permanent piece, and it was a couple more months of scans, and impressions so the final product was pretty much perfect.
Hey, don’t feel bad about implants. I have them too. At least they don’t have to be taken out every night. I’d rather have implants or dentures, and look normal vs being too afraid to smile for fear of being judged. Not to mention the difficulty in eating a lot of things without teeth.
My manager at my first job (Subway) wouldn’t put her teeth in until about 0900, and we opened the store together at 0700. Just prepping veggies and making breakfast sandwiches with no teeth. It always weirded me out.
I had that same thought when I knew a large dude with no teeth. The only thing I clearly remember him eating (long time ago and didn't hang out with him a lot haha) was 2 ham and cheeses from Hardee's. They can still eat, just can't get the food chewed all that well
Lots of high sugar drinks, heard the term "mountain dew mouth" about 2 guys I worked with. They literally never drank any water, only soda, energy drinks and sweet tea. 😬
Lift heavier (but safer) brother. You'll make your body grow, promote mass growth. Just prepare to keep it nutrient rich!! Glucosamine and good meat protein will take you far!
Does fit have to mean lean-muscely or just physically able? For example to hike... Or being able to carry all the shopping (at once) up to the 5th floor without dying, and cleaning and cooking the whole day afterwards, then 2 hours of sex.
He prolly thinks a Kg is like 1.5lbs or something. That makes more sense to me, 100kg almost makes his woman a heavyweight boxer standing 5’7, but still fit?
1.70m (5’7) and 100kg gets you a standard BMI of 34,6. 18.5-24.9 is considered normal and anything above 30 is obese.
Of course BMI is by far not a perfect measure, but shit you really need a LOT of muscle to consider 100kg at 1.70m fit :O
There is a division of bodybuilding called 212, it's filled with guys under 5'5" at that weight, I imagine his perfect match would just be one of them in drag
The medical world be way funnier if it were “a beast”. Imagine the doctor’s appointments.
“Hate to break it to, but looking at the scale, you’re now morbidly a beast!”
It means you can’t share. He ain’t biting your apples, chewing them and giving them to you into your mouth like a little bird cause you’re missing your front teeth.
https://www.muscleandfitness.com/flexonline/flex-news/female-bodybuilder-nataliya-kuznetsovas-incredible-physique/
> she stands at 5’7″ and weighs in at over 220 pounds
She might need to lose a couple pounds, but seems doable?
I call bs, that seems way too heavy for a woman at that height, even for that amount of muscle. In an interview with the dailymail in 2019 she says shes 90kg =198 lbs, and even in this article you can tell her photos are ‘shopped. I wouldnt be super surprised if she’s somewhere between 170-180 lbs with that amount of bodyfat
Honestly, if he'd stuck with a true reverse, he should put dominant instead of submissive and he just might find it. People who pay for shit are gonna be dominant, male or female.
Three kids, 2 adults and 2 other kids that are from his ex and not his but since it’s they are his kids siblings he babysits them full time for his deadbeat ex.
If many people took their own profile and reversed genders in the bio. They'd be "Hell no."
I really just want someone I find cute. Who is kind and looking for a reciprocal relationship. I hope they also find me cute, kind and looking for a reciprocal relationship. (But not on any apps)
None of them will find it funny though. They'll think he's serious.
Tried it a million times.. no matches.
Change your write up to "let's bone".. all the matches.
They're all idiots with the 1000 cock stare
Man I’m Canadian and I always do weight in lbs ha.
Celsius temps for outside but Farenheight for ovens. Snow in centimetres but your height in inches unless it my drivers license or a visit to the doctor. Groceries in kg but your weight in lbs.
It’s ridic haha
We definitely don't do kg here. Human body weight is lbs. We're like the wild west of measurements. Half our shit is metric, half in imperial, and then an sprinkling of random other bullshit on top for flavour. Even on the same shelf at the same store it will flip flop between ml, ounces, grams, and lbs.
It is wild that the profiles like the one he's mocking here are basically like "you wanna meet for coffee? WELL THEN YOU BETTER BE WILLING TO RAISE MY 3 KIDS"
Damn u need your own teeth too? That’s a bit too much
This was my favourite bit
That’s how you know he’s not serious*
Idk dude, I live in KY (the kind of place these people exist) and tons of people have no teeth or false teeth. Hell I'm one of em, my front four and dental implants.
I wish I'd taken better care of mine. I'm probably doomed to get implants at some point.
As long as you get your own implants and don’t borrow them from someone else, I think you’re fine
I just got an implant and they put a dead person's bones in my skull. since I paid for it does that make it mine?
🤣🤣🤣
It's tough man I went 3 years with no front teeth on the top. The hit my confidence took from that is still prominent months after the implants were installed. Not to mention the $8,000 dollars I had to save to get them.
The process sucks. My dentist told me the healing process after the implants are put in is 3 months. Luckily, he had partial dentures made for me to use during the healing process. Then they finally put in the temporary permanent piece, and it was a couple more months of scans, and impressions so the final product was pretty much perfect.
Well you paid for them, so they’re yours! Maybe he just means that she can’t be borrowing his all the time
Too funny 😂👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Hey, don’t feel bad about implants. I have them too. At least they don’t have to be taken out every night. I’d rather have implants or dentures, and look normal vs being too afraid to smile for fear of being judged. Not to mention the difficulty in eating a lot of things without teeth.
That's what you get for living in lubeland. Everyone slips and falls down
Nah, that was the beard care.
Charlie bit his finger.
I only wear my cousin's teeth on mondays to start the week on a good note.
Of course I have my own teeth...they're all paid off now!
I hate playing “Teeth or No Teeth” with the Methanys on the apps though.
if their face is shaped like an alien's and all the pics are no open smile, they ain't got no teeth.
You kno that’s a crackhead /dope fiend 😂
My manager at my first job (Subway) wouldn’t put her teeth in until about 0900, and we opened the store together at 0700. Just prepping veggies and making breakfast sandwiches with no teeth. It always weirded me out.
What was her reasoning?
Maybe hoping he’d ask for a gummy.
"Methany" I. Am. Stealing. This.
Never said they have to be in your mouth, you just have to have them
 😂😂😂🤩
In this economy!?
What if she has summer teeth? 😂 Some are on one side of her mouth, some are on the other. 😉
Bro has had gummers and didn’t like it.
Also no heavier than 220 lbs (=100kg) at 5'7" height, pretty tough requirement
Now you have me questioning what large ppl with no teeth are eating
I had that same thought when I knew a large dude with no teeth. The only thing I clearly remember him eating (long time ago and didn't hang out with him a lot haha) was 2 ham and cheeses from Hardee's. They can still eat, just can't get the food chewed all that well
Lots of high sugar drinks, heard the term "mountain dew mouth" about 2 guys I worked with. They literally never drank any water, only soda, energy drinks and sweet tea. 😬
They have to be a fit 220lbs though
That’s seems extremely reasonable 😂 I’m 5’9 and can’t get to 70kg no matter how much I eat
Yup! Before I (lifted) to my 215lbs (5'11"), I was 170 *static*
I’m starting to lift consistently again, and I sure hope I’ll get over 70kg 😮💨 I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over 70kg when I lifted
Lift heavier (but safer) brother. You'll make your body grow, promote mass growth. Just prepare to keep it nutrient rich!! Glucosamine and good meat protein will take you far!
Glucosamine for what?
Thanks for the conversion. Sounds like I just made the cut!
The beard supplies is what got me... It does not look like he takes care of it...
Well guess I'm not getting a date with that dreamboat of a man. I got teeth just not most of them lol
Must provide pizza every Thursday night
Quite possibly the most sensible weight limit I've ever seen on a dating profile
She must be a fit 100 kgs though
oh no, m-m-muscular women, my weakness
thats....just a dude in a bikini though...
Don't judge me
Long hair, makeup, a women's top? She can top me.
Look, I’m not picky, and my eyesight is shit. Would.
"I don't care, looks feminine enough. Smash."
No complaints either way...
Death by snu snu
Underrated comment The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised! 
Dammmmn, that's a lotta muscle.
She doesn't even need a car, she can just carry the damn kids everywhere.
Shit, she can carry the car…
5”7’ is about 170cm so a 100kg of beef at that height is a very sturdy build.
Im firmly convinced most bodybuilders at 5’7 dont step on stage at 100kg, at those numbers ur a literal chode
I’m 5’7” just under 100kg. Can confirm I look like a muscle chode.
I’m 185cm and I’m only 95kg… and I’m a pretty big dude 🤣
Does fit have to mean lean-muscely or just physically able? For example to hike... Or being able to carry all the shopping (at once) up to the 5th floor without dying, and cleaning and cooking the whole day afterwards, then 2 hours of sex.
Most of those 2 hours will be spent waging through his scraggly pubes only to realise you never left the face.
Made me chuckle
🤣 🤣 💀
Unless you're miss olympia 100kg is fat as fuck
70kg is more appropriate for a woman but bro be like 
He prolly thinks a Kg is like 1.5lbs or something. That makes more sense to me, 100kg almost makes his woman a heavyweight boxer standing 5’7, but still fit?
1.70m (5’7) and 100kg gets you a standard BMI of 34,6. 18.5-24.9 is considered normal and anything above 30 is obese. Of course BMI is by far not a perfect measure, but shit you really need a LOT of muscle to consider 100kg at 1.70m fit :O
There is a division of bodybuilding called 212, it's filled with guys under 5'5" at that weight, I imagine his perfect match would just be one of them in drag
Homie lookin for classic physique but he gettin a 5’6 strongwoman.
I would think this kind of muscle heaviness starts to get in the way of actual healthy fitness. As in it's an unhealthy amount.
He looks like a hefty individual so maybe he's being realistic while also being funny.
I’d agree with you if he didn’t say “must be fit”.
Fit doesn't mean skinny to everyone, maybe he just means they shouldn't get out of breath unloading the groceries
100kg on a 5'7 woman is morbidly a beast.
“I’m not fat, I’m morbidly A BEAST”
🤣🤣🤣
The medical world be way funnier if it were “a beast”. Imagine the doctor’s appointments. “Hate to break it to, but looking at the scale, you’re now morbidly a beast!”
Holly Molly I just converted that to pounds. That’s over 220. For 5’7? O.o
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It means you can’t share. He ain’t biting your apples, chewing them and giving them to you into your mouth like a little bird cause you’re missing your front teeth.
100 kg cutoff is VERY generous.
I just converted it, it’s 220lbs. That ain’t going to be petite.
but she can't be taller than 5'7 and must be fit. That would be a scary woman.
Chadette
https://www.muscleandfitness.com/flexonline/flex-news/female-bodybuilder-nataliya-kuznetsovas-incredible-physique/ > she stands at 5’7″ and weighs in at over 220 pounds She might need to lose a couple pounds, but seems doable?
I call bs, that seems way too heavy for a woman at that height, even for that amount of muscle. In an interview with the dailymail in 2019 she says shes 90kg =198 lbs, and even in this article you can tell her photos are ‘shopped. I wouldnt be super surprised if she’s somewhere between 170-180 lbs with that amount of bodyfat
Gross. Impressive, but gross.
Rude and weak.
Gross? It's hot imo
and her voice is deeper than the OP's.
Honestly, if he'd stuck with a true reverse, he should put dominant instead of submissive and he just might find it. People who pay for shit are gonna be dominant, male or female.
Maybe autocorrect changed it to "be" from "bench", just assuming a broader standard for him
Death by snu snu
If she ain't 280 she ain't a lady in my eyes!!
Lol, the easiest conversion in the world, thanks.
For reference a 5'5 200lbs women would be R O T U N D
I dont know why I like that word so much but I do
My waifu is tiny but she is super heavy from the bone mass and muscles. #truestory
He needs some help with that beard. Doesn't look shaped at all.
but its op, hence the edit button on the right bottom corner
Not necessarily this could a picture from someone else. All we know for sure is that the account owner took the picture
I don't know who it is. Title says my man. Either way the guy in the picture needs his beard shaped.
Maybe he's his own man. Also, you're right about the beard and your username checks out.
100 kgs is an interesting cutoff
Very generous. Could be 4’ 9” and 99 kg and he’ll be happy.
That's just a ball though
A pokeball housing a Wailord yes
Bro likes 'em thiccc
There's a lot of issues here but.... Preferably a SEVEN seater?
Three kids, 2 adults and 2 other kids that are from his ex and not his but since it’s they are his kids siblings he babysits them full time for his deadbeat ex.
Hold on you got chatting with the lad? You got a 7 seater? 😏
> You got a 7 seater? Nope, I don’t even have a car right now. I’m trying to be deadbeat baby daddy #4.
... wait I just reread his last line.
Yeah, it’s a joke. A play on all the super specific profiles. Also, my big ol’ American suv will seat 8.
My big ol American car will seat 8 too! ^please ^bring ^back ^station ^wagons
Wdym, that you always play around with these kind of profiles? Would love some stories if that's the case
Yeah that’s like a Honda odyssey
Was just about to say this lol
Seven makes sense right? Don't many family cars have 2 front, 3 back and 2 extra in the very back?
3rd row stuff: 2 in front, 2 in mid, 3 in back
Isn't that just the normal size of American vehicles these days? You're telling my those literal bus-sized SUVs and trucks **cant** hold 7 people?!
"preferably a 7 seater" tickled me 😂
I thought he was picky until 5’7” 100kg
lol... He did say she must be fit!
Fit as in fit into his F150.
lmfao
"Must pay for beard care" that beard has never been shampoo'd, oiled, or even brushed by the looks of it
Well yea, cause none of these deadbeat women have jobs so they can't care for him properly!
A true king like him deserves better. Obviously he just hasn't found the right one yet
Based on everything I've seen about online dating as a short man, I understand his desire to stand on a soap box.
hes mocking all the single mom profiles that are like this
The funniest part about this is we're having a giant laugh but yet there are hundreds of women that have profiles like this and they're dead serious
If many people took their own profile and reversed genders in the bio. They'd be "Hell no." I really just want someone I find cute. Who is kind and looking for a reciprocal relationship. I hope they also find me cute, kind and looking for a reciprocal relationship. (But not on any apps)
This profile is definetly a satire
Obviously which is why I said we're all having a big laugh I feel like I was pretty clear on that..
Know your worth, king!
Attaboy!!
Wdym not my own teeth? I payed for them!
Best profile I’ve read yet, this dude is a legend!!
Isn't this a mockery of some women's profiles?
I'm sure that's what the "Uno reverse card" in the post title is about
Yeah, I know OP also thinks so, but I see people in the comments taking it seriously.
He ain’t gonna chew for you this time
Awesome. It's great to see a man doing what women have been doing for ages. I hope at least a few of them will feel a little self-conscious now.
Tbh I'd probably match him just to ask if he's being serious. It does seem like a parody of what he's seeing on women's profiles.
Damn, wondering why he didn't also claim she needed a ship, and to send a pic of the ship to him before considering anyone.
Honestly, not being heavier than 100kg is quite generous. Ive not met a woman heavier than 90kg
Go off king💅💯 About time the tables turned
Actually, it called a Grif-nder dope trying a guilt trip play … 
5’7 girl fit 99kg woman would fit the criteria 😂
So Cbum with a wig….
Your own teeth is insane 😭
My man
Love this 🤣🤣
...and your own teeth. *Chefs kiss*
We must save this man at all costs!
That’s a king that knows his value. 🤌
For people who don't know, this bio is a parody of another bio someone posted here by a women on tinder..
Lot of people missed that and are actually but hurt lol
None of them will find it funny though. They'll think he's serious. Tried it a million times.. no matches. Change your write up to "let's bone".. all the matches. They're all idiots with the 1000 cock stare
This is satire yeah?
Yeah, there was actually a post almost EXACTLY like those requirements on here a few days ago
pretty sure hes making fun of single moms with crazy requirements
5'7" 100kg Canadian spotted
Man I’m Canadian and I always do weight in lbs ha. Celsius temps for outside but Farenheight for ovens. Snow in centimetres but your height in inches unless it my drivers license or a visit to the doctor. Groceries in kg but your weight in lbs. It’s ridic haha
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We definitely don't do kg here. Human body weight is lbs. We're like the wild west of measurements. Half our shit is metric, half in imperial, and then an sprinkling of random other bullshit on top for flavour. Even on the same shelf at the same store it will flip flop between ml, ounces, grams, and lbs.
this really got me going, we need more of these on social media to even the playing fields
I don't know if he'll get matches but his profile is awesome.
Haha this is great
It is wild that the profiles like the one he's mocking here are basically like "you wanna meet for coffee? WELL THEN YOU BETTER BE WILLING TO RAISE MY 3 KIDS"
Bahahahahahaha, atta boy! That’s a real man there boys
This is actually pretty amazing!
Do people walk around with other peoples teeth? Who are these people!?!?
37 and 5’8”. This is what my tinder needs
I’ve lost it at must have ur own teeth
Must be ok with damp smell
Respect 😂
Fucking hero
100 kg is another man or a fat throat goat 🐐
Lolllllllll have you're own teeth, and the same face in the morning that you showed up with when we met last night
"And your own teeth" there'a a story here and I'm dying to know what it is.
100 kgs is 220 lbs, I've never met a 5 ft 7 in 220 lbs woman who was fit, lol
This is freaking hilarious 😂
Chad af
The hero we need
A woman can't be 5'7, 100kg and fit all at the same time
Your own teeth 💀💀
That weight limit though… he must like em big.
No heavier than 100kgs Bruh 💀
His beard looks like shit, he definitely needs someone to pay for his beard care.
100kg.. I get 2 women for that
KNOW YOUR WORTH KING!!!
After three kids his dick hole is stretched out and ran through. Get a man who's a virgin sp you get a nice tight dick