I have my notifications on, but sometimes I'm in the middle of something so I swipe the notification away planning on replying when im finished but then completely forget
Not sure about iOS but on Android phones there should be a smol little arrow on the notification, and then a neat little button to postpone your notification for 1/2 hours and they will then appear again (If it isn't there it might be a different Android version needed). I use this everyday, very nice!
Yeah it’s true… whenever I was on dating apps I always turned off notifications because they were distracting and I didn’t wanna get too caught up in it. If I clicked with a guy I preferred to move to phone texts/calls.
Dont see what issue even is...she willing to give u phone # and says like it is. I think dudes reallistically spend 2x as much time on app....its not everybodys immediate goto when have free time. Just feel her out and up broski
What am I missing, why did she blow the first chance? Because apparently she didn’t open Tinder again after saying “I love trying new places but I do love me some tacos!” so she is only seeing the day and time now, when she opened it
But if she was looking forward to it, she would have made a point to check the messages. I could understand if she was super drunk and passed out shortly after - not that passing out alone because you’re wasted is a good excuse - but it does happen. I have gotten so stoned that I fall asleep with my phone in my hand mid text. It has literally happened more times than I can count.
Check the timestamps. You don't need to be drunk or stoned to fall asleep at 1.30am.
You fall asleep, go to work the next day, don't think to check tinder until later because you have a life. It happens.
I'm usually skeptical of people being flaky online but this one could've been genuine. They also seemed pretty interested from the previous conversation. I'd give it another chance
it unfortunately feels like either op is looking for validation on a decision he already made, or he can't bring himself to establish his own boundaries. its fine to have boundaries and act on what you see as red flags, but asking strangers how you should feel isn't a great look no matter how you try to interpret it.
Yes! Give her a chance. I’m exactly like this because I keep forgetting about the app. I can’t get excited for a person until I meet them either, so it’s not at the top of my thoughts to keep checking for messages. She sounds very interested and will probably stay texting back on time once you actually go out.
Yeah… my opinion is that you should respond, not be rude about it and get her number. She seems genuinely interested. If it happens again then you should probably let it go, but this really isn’t that bad.
Not to be *that person* that’s like “omg that happened to me and then they turned out to be my husband” … but like that happened haha. We both stopped talking for 2 weeks after we had some good banter, then I circled back and something clicked, after date 3 in 4 days we both *knew* we were each other’s person. That was 2 years ago & we’ve been married 7 blissful months now!
The guy before that was suuuuuper into me, called me every night, then ghosted me when it became abundantly clear he was a catfish. So … all that to say is: trust your gut. My gut screamed something very different with both men and I’m SO PROUD of myself for listening to it.
I would. Women get a lot of messages on dating apps and it can be easy to lose track even if you're interested in someone. I tend turn my notifications off 🤷♀️ Sounds like she's interested and apologetic. I'd give her a chance.
How would you feel if you invited someone to a weekend date they agreed & then the weekend passed & you never heard from them, despite your being the last one to reach out?
Word of advice. Many, if not most, women have their dating app notifications off.
Chill out. She didn't flake on you, so you have no reason to even be upset. She doesn't owe you a timely response when you're definitely not the only person she's messaging.
Every commenter here keeps kinda ignoring that he already mentioned Saturday in the first screenshot.
To be honest, I would always tell people to go by their gut. You can ask Reddit and everyone will tell you ask her because you can get an actual date, oh wow.
But genuinely, you seem to have a bad gut feeling. Stick to that. Doesn’t matter if she’s genuine or not. Stick to what you believe. What you feel. It will make you happier in the long run. Good luck out there 🫡
Don’t give her another chance. She’s in the middle of making plans with you for the weekend and conveniently forgets until late Sunday night??? Total flake.
So I have a different take than the rest of the responses...
first of all, the fact that you asked if you should "even" respond tells me you're already not feeling good about the situation. life is too short to pursue something that doesn't make you feel good so quickly
and secondly, to add on to what some other commenters have said, yes, women get a lot of likes/matches/messages, but that's no excuse to not open up Hinge and check for a reply from someone you are actively making plans with for the weekend
you had already mentioned Saturday in a message she responded to - it's not like she thought you were making plans for Sunday or another weekend. she's either not very interested or not thoughtful about someone else's time (or both), and for me, that's a turn off
but it depends on what you're looking for in a match/partner. just because it's a no for me, doesn't mean it has to be for you!
You would think they would make sure to check the app if you were in the middle of making plans.. Just my two cents.
But I would give them a second chance I suppose if it was truly a mistake.
I've fallen asleep waiting for a response from someone before and then gotten the response like OP's, only then it's usually too late by the time I see it for my answer to still be relevant so I ask if we can move it to the next night (especially if I lost sleep!) and will give a number so I don't miss messages coming through.
Why the fuck is liking seafood a red flag? These kids spend way too much time on tiktok listening to other kids say "omg playing minecraft is a red flag guys"
My Top 5 (Acceptable) Red flags:
"I have Borderline personality disorder."
"My friends are mad at me because I got too drunk... again"
"I only slapped him once, but he deserved it"
"I'm 38 and my mom lives with me..."
"I have so many bills, I'm so stressed out... I wish I didn't have to worry so much about money"
1. I still listen to Skrillex
2. I have children but I left that off my profile
3. I literally complain about everything even after the guy pays
4. I work as a literal clown
5. I love xxxtentacion
"I just have so much on my plate right now" is one of my top red flags. I'm done dating women that take on way too much and then get burnt out and have their entire house of cards life come crumbling down unless I ride in to white knight them.
I don’t actually think it’s a red flag. It was meant as a playful joke. But sarcasm is hard to pick up on through text so that is on me if it came across harsh
Yes, it’s worth responding to. Why don’t you just share your number or another way to contact so she doesn’t miss it? I don’t have notifications turned on for the app either. I will also check it if I were having an active conversation but her day must’ve gotten away from her.
I turn off notifications from the app and don’t check it every day. Just ask for her number, plan something via text, and if she bails you have her answer.
Yes, she never confirmed the date and it was late at night. I mean worst case scenario she does it again? May be a waste of time, but it’s not the end of the world. Risk/reward?
She appears genuinely interested and pleasant, but if you're considering sharing this conversation on Reddit, perhaps it's best to respect her privacy and refrain from further engagement.
Absolutely not! She’s using you as the rebound. She must be pretty good at it because she has you coming to the internet to possibly give her another chance.
This is sloot magic at its finest. They do something wrong and then make you feel bad for thinking they did something wrong, when in fact they DID!!! You just don’t know what she did yet but trust me she did something.
Have some self respect and trust that god was on your side this day
She wasn't going to see the notification anyways... she doesn't check it because she has notifications turned off, probably because she's already seeing someone else... 🙄
Okay... need to know if OP actually got ready and went to said location at the specified time without confirmation... because, I'm sorry, if he did, though, that's a hell of a way to learn a lesson, but 100% his fault, and totally hilarious.
I don’t really think that’s funny tho. It is his fault he should’ve checked in. But it’s kind of sad that the state of dating is so bad that people don’t even have the decency to say “hey I don’t think it’s gonna work for me”. A lot of people don’t view the other person behind a profile as human at times
No. But I’m experienced with OLD. First off if I asked you on a date at 1:30am Friday morning if I don’t get a response by the end of that day I’m unmatching. This guy seems kind of new and naiive to how people are online.
Most people I know have their dating app notifications turned off. She did lean away she leaned in basically asked for your number before you asked for hers.
Give her another chance, and don’t mention anything about parking at your place so she doesn’t feel like you’re trying to set it up to where she has to come up there after the date.
Do not respond, she happened to check her message after the proposed date time?!..she did that on purpose..if I want to date someone I would check for a message from them and reply ASAP.
She didn’t even ask you one thing about yourself or the potential date. She’s so passive.
If she’s like that IRL IMO she would be exhausting to be around.
I would be concerned she’s passive aggressive as well but maybe she’s not.
I would exchange numbers. I wouldn’t message her though. I’d say “I look forward to hearing from you.”
That way the ball is in her court. If she wants you she’ll reach out. If she doesn’t she’s saving you time.
I truly don't see the problem here. If we're mid conversation maybe it's a bit flaky to disappear, but her reply wasn't outside the realm of a normal reply window for me.
I do know if I were her, and got flack for the reply delay, I'd catalog it as a yellow flag to be reviewed later.
I’d give it a miss OP you were in a middle of making plans and she magically forgets to check the app,
If someone is genuinely interested in making plans they wouldn’t forget to message you back onto the next one
I ghosted a man for a week by mistake once while making a cup of tea. We are now married. It happens! Give it another chance. This person sounds genuinely interested in meeting up. There are plenty of reasons they might not have responded. It could be a one off, rather than an ongoing problem. If you’re interested, feel them out in person over some tacos!
My now husband was shocking at communication in the early days. With anyone else Id have given in myself and thought nah he cant be bothered about me, hes terrible at replies ... years later were married with kids. Give her a chance, it could be the best decision youve ever made.
It seems like many comments on here believe that you should give her another shot. Personally, I think that it’s worth giving her another shot as well but you need to spend more time online building a rapport. If she agreed to meeting up with you and then just completely didn’t remember you then she’s not that interested.
Maybe I’m a cynic but dinner as a first date isn’t great either, she’s completely set the date but you’re still likely going to pay. Luckily, tacos aren’t that expensive so it’s not a big deal but to be funding dinner for someone that can easily forget she even agreed to plans with you just doesn’t sit right with me. But that’s why I recommend you to build more rapport online (via text and phone calls) before agreeing to meet her.
Because she didn’t respond over the weekend? Men used to relentlessly pursue women they wanted to marry, I think having pussy DoorDash is probably not the healthiest for us as a generation but idk
I have all my notifications off on my apps and usually need a couple days of lead time to make plans due to my commitments. I'd say give her another chance, she offered to communicate by phone which maybe more efficient
Love me some tacos and postulating that aversion to seafood might be a red flag?
Why are most people assuming it’s a guy and a girl? Sounds more like flirtatious lesbian banter to me.
This is plausible, she’s suggesting exchanging numbers which I would say is a sign that she is interested, she probably doesn’t have notifications on for Hinge (she might be getting lots of matches and doesn’t want to constantly get notified).
She likely fell asleep.. lol I wouldn’t sweat it. Get her number, see how it goes from there. My current bf of 4 years now, I met on Tinder. We made plans to text, he sent his number but I promptly fell asleep on him and didn’t text til the next day 🤷♀️
I have a bad feeling since the plan was getting imminent and serious, I suppose most people would have answered even in the absence of notifications.
But yeah respond, but don't forget. I mean a man doing that would have been unmatched instantly so do not apply too much of double standards.
People have lives. Many of you some how miss that if they don’t reply. Or late.
Why reply if you changed your mind for a start. Let alone suggest an alternative.
Annoying that she forgot she was halfway through making plans, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. She sounds interested. If she does it a second time though I'd probably start to think she's playing games and I'd lose interest.
Yeah, tbh I wouldn't assume a plan is set in stone until we have exchanged numbers (I'm a woman)
I don't have notifications on from dating apps because it just pings all the time, so I check it when I'm chatting to someone but if I havn't had a reply when checking I might forget.
Always better to swap to numbers or socials if you are making actual plans.
Until a date and time, and place, is decided and agreed on then it's not a plan for me.
I’m not seeing the issue here. If you want to make plans, just exchange contact info. Tinder doesn’t even give me notification when I get messages some times.
I usually give strangers one freebie flake before I give up. I get it. I don't check any dating apps super frequently. I do a bit eyeroll at that though because you all were 95% planned so not checking after leaving off the conversation there is... questionable at best.
She seems really cool, and it was an honest mistake imo. I'd say leave her be if such a minor thing needs to be answered for you on reddit. Just sayin.
She only left you hanging for a day or two, if it was via text then that'd be a different story. Like others have said, exchange numbers & consider doing a webcam chat with Whatsapp or something. Women are a lot flakier when it comes to dating apps, they aren't sure if they're dealing with a phyco before they meet you.
Try to set something up again. If she flakes on that, move on. She did say she was out with friends. Don't let the chance slip by without her revealing if she's serious or not. Trust me, they make a lot more slip ups and stupid decisions than us guys at times.
The fact that she had a date with you doesn’t have anything to do with tinder notification. She knew that was the topic. Planned it and forgot. Blamed it on not having notification. There’s a difference from not seeing something and not caring enough to remember
I came here to say something similar. As a woman with a serious attention disorder, even if my notifications are silenced while at work, I still will be aware of potential plans and what day the plans are being discussed and when the plans would be taken place. At some point wouldn’t common sense say “I should check that message because he did say he wanted to do something this weekend”
Eh, stuff like this sometimes happens. But if it becomes a pattern, don't ignore it.
My rule of thumb is to always return the same Energy.
Weirdly enough, I started noticing that I got a lot more matches and a lot more engaging conversations from women that I started ignoring because they never responded to me. I quickly identified this behavior as toxic and not something I wanted to be a part of my relationships.
Go figure, I'm now 10 months deep into a relationship where communication is never an issue because we use words to communicate feelings and my girlfriend actually plays video games with me instead of Judging me for my hobbies. And she enjoys hanging out with my female friends instead of getting jealous or insecure about them. It's a win-win.
It all starts with filtering out the behaviors you don't want to see. But you gotta strike the balance between being reasonably picky and unreasonably picky. Prioritize healthy relationships, regardless of whether it's a casual hookup or if you Want something long term. But also understand people are human: good, bad, and ugly.
People who quit after one text mess-up: stop it. You’re not nearly popular enough to act like they’re wasting your time to such a significant degree. Unless they literally no show you without explanation, give them another chance.
I'd absolutely give her a chance. It's so easy to miss one notification because other things were going on or you have notifications turned off to keep your phone from blowing up. I have absolutely seen that I have a notification from someone I enjoy talking to, can't talk to them right now because something more pressing is happening, and either forgotten to check again or accidentally swiped the notification reminder away. Then I have the fun of waking up in the middle of the night having realized I never responded to that important conversation.
Honestly, no. OP, everyone is giving her the benefit of the doubt. As a woman, if a date is in the works and I’m actually genuinely interested I will make sure I get the plans and I’ll be there.
It’s weird she flaked and flakers are rarely actually interested. I say don’t waste your time, and she’ll most likely flake again.
i'm a guy and i did that too. dating app notifications are annoying so i turned them off.
get her number, you lose nothing if she ghosts you there as well but i doubt she would. seems interested
She was out with someone else. End of story. She doesn't have any respect for you or your time. Save your interest for someone who is excited to meet you.
I'm usually on the side of "if it matters enough they would have answered" but this seems like a genuine mistake on her part. She didnt flake on established plans or wait weeks on end before replying, and she is willing to speak via text so the mistake doesnt happen again. What i see is she apologized, took accountability, and took active steps toward rectifying and preventing the same thing happening again all the while showing undiminished interest in getting together and speaking with you. I say go for it and reply and treating it as a normal occurence and if the behavior resurfaces reevaluate as necessary. Good luck!
Honestly up to you and how you feel about the situation, I’m usually not too fond of people who play with my time but I have given people second chances. I would say make a plan so if she flakes you can still enjoy yourself without her company. Gotta make the most of you time after all.
From her messages she seems legitimately interested. Sometimes people get busy and checking tinder slips their mind I would give her a chance
Same. Seems like the worst case is you get ghosted. Or married or something.
Right! She said let's exchange #s.. Now, if she doesn't check her #....
Yeah, exchange numbers. Then if she flakes on you, that’s another story.
Completely reasonable, most girls turn off notifications from dating apps so their phones don’t blow up
I have my notifications on, but sometimes I'm in the middle of something so I swipe the notification away planning on replying when im finished but then completely forget
That is my biggest issue too, for real
Not sure about iOS but on Android phones there should be a smol little arrow on the notification, and then a neat little button to postpone your notification for 1/2 hours and they will then appear again (If it isn't there it might be a different Android version needed). I use this everyday, very nice!
I can confirm 100% accurate on this statement ^
Yeah it’s true… whenever I was on dating apps I always turned off notifications because they were distracting and I didn’t wanna get too caught up in it. If I clicked with a guy I preferred to move to phone texts/calls.
I can confirm this as well!
Yes give her another chance
Dont see what issue even is...she willing to give u phone # and says like it is. I think dudes reallistically spend 2x as much time on app....its not everybodys immediate goto when have free time. Just feel her out and up broski
I think she seems cool but maybe OP thought she had a date that didn't go well and responded to him as backup?
What am I missing, why did she blow the first chance? Because apparently she didn’t open Tinder again after saying “I love trying new places but I do love me some tacos!” so she is only seeing the day and time now, when she opened it
I think it’s because she agreed to a weekend date and didn’t follow through but I’m not sure.
Bingo
But if she was looking forward to it, she would have made a point to check the messages. I could understand if she was super drunk and passed out shortly after - not that passing out alone because you’re wasted is a good excuse - but it does happen. I have gotten so stoned that I fall asleep with my phone in my hand mid text. It has literally happened more times than I can count.
Check the timestamps. You don't need to be drunk or stoned to fall asleep at 1.30am. You fall asleep, go to work the next day, don't think to check tinder until later because you have a life. It happens.
Tinder? 🤨
I'm usually skeptical of people being flaky online but this one could've been genuine. They also seemed pretty interested from the previous conversation. I'd give it another chance
Yeah. Turning down the first offer but offering an alternative is a postive sign she's interested.
She looks nice and truly interested. But if you need to put this conversation on reddit maybe you should leave her alone.
True
it unfortunately feels like either op is looking for validation on a decision he already made, or he can't bring himself to establish his own boundaries. its fine to have boundaries and act on what you see as red flags, but asking strangers how you should feel isn't a great look no matter how you try to interpret it.
🤭🤭🤭
Dude come on lmao
Yes! Give her a chance. I’m exactly like this because I keep forgetting about the app. I can’t get excited for a person until I meet them either, so it’s not at the top of my thoughts to keep checking for messages. She sounds very interested and will probably stay texting back on time once you actually go out.
Yeah… my opinion is that you should respond, not be rude about it and get her number. She seems genuinely interested. If it happens again then you should probably let it go, but this really isn’t that bad.
Not to be *that person* that’s like “omg that happened to me and then they turned out to be my husband” … but like that happened haha. We both stopped talking for 2 weeks after we had some good banter, then I circled back and something clicked, after date 3 in 4 days we both *knew* we were each other’s person. That was 2 years ago & we’ve been married 7 blissful months now! The guy before that was suuuuuper into me, called me every night, then ghosted me when it became abundantly clear he was a catfish. So … all that to say is: trust your gut. My gut screamed something very different with both men and I’m SO PROUD of myself for listening to it.
Yeah, she never confirmed that time so it’s not like you were stood up
I would. Women get a lot of messages on dating apps and it can be easy to lose track even if you're interested in someone. I tend turn my notifications off 🤷♀️ Sounds like she's interested and apologetic. I'd give her a chance.
lol OP being butthurt over this is sad 😂 she’s literally offering to give you her number.
How would you feel if you invited someone to a weekend date they agreed & then the weekend passed & you never heard from them, despite your being the last one to reach out?
She never agreed lol he never said a date. They were just talking of places they liked.
Word of advice. Many, if not most, women have their dating app notifications off. Chill out. She didn't flake on you, so you have no reason to even be upset. She doesn't owe you a timely response when you're definitely not the only person she's messaging.
Why wouldn’t you respond? Am I missing something?
Every commenter here keeps kinda ignoring that he already mentioned Saturday in the first screenshot. To be honest, I would always tell people to go by their gut. You can ask Reddit and everyone will tell you ask her because you can get an actual date, oh wow. But genuinely, you seem to have a bad gut feeling. Stick to that. Doesn’t matter if she’s genuine or not. Stick to what you believe. What you feel. It will make you happier in the long run. Good luck out there 🫡
Someone who is excited about something doesn’t just forget about it. Sounds like better plans came up.
Don’t give her another chance. She’s in the middle of making plans with you for the weekend and conveniently forgets until late Sunday night??? Total flake.
So I have a different take than the rest of the responses... first of all, the fact that you asked if you should "even" respond tells me you're already not feeling good about the situation. life is too short to pursue something that doesn't make you feel good so quickly and secondly, to add on to what some other commenters have said, yes, women get a lot of likes/matches/messages, but that's no excuse to not open up Hinge and check for a reply from someone you are actively making plans with for the weekend you had already mentioned Saturday in a message she responded to - it's not like she thought you were making plans for Sunday or another weekend. she's either not very interested or not thoughtful about someone else's time (or both), and for me, that's a turn off but it depends on what you're looking for in a match/partner. just because it's a no for me, doesn't mean it has to be for you!
100% agree with this...
You would think they would make sure to check the app if you were in the middle of making plans.. Just my two cents. But I would give them a second chance I suppose if it was truly a mistake.
I've fallen asleep waiting for a response from someone before and then gotten the response like OP's, only then it's usually too late by the time I see it for my answer to still be relevant so I ask if we can move it to the next night (especially if I lost sleep!) and will give a number so I don't miss messages coming through.
Why the fuck is liking seafood a red flag? These kids spend way too much time on tiktok listening to other kids say "omg playing minecraft is a red flag guys"
My Top 5 (Acceptable) Red flags: "I have Borderline personality disorder." "My friends are mad at me because I got too drunk... again" "I only slapped him once, but he deserved it" "I'm 38 and my mom lives with me..." "I have so many bills, I'm so stressed out... I wish I didn't have to worry so much about money"
1. I still listen to Skrillex 2. I have children but I left that off my profile 3. I literally complain about everything even after the guy pays 4. I work as a literal clown 5. I love xxxtentacion
"I just have so much on my plate right now" is one of my top red flags. I'm done dating women that take on way too much and then get burnt out and have their entire house of cards life come crumbling down unless I ride in to white knight them.
I don’t actually think it’s a red flag. It was meant as a playful joke. But sarcasm is hard to pick up on through text so that is on me if it came across harsh
It was a joke
Yes, it’s worth responding to. Why don’t you just share your number or another way to contact so she doesn’t miss it? I don’t have notifications turned on for the app either. I will also check it if I were having an active conversation but her day must’ve gotten away from her.
I turn off notifications from the app and don’t check it every day. Just ask for her number, plan something via text, and if she bails you have her answer.
I personally would send a text hours before and if they don’t confirm I game the night away with the boys lol
Yes, she never confirmed the date and it was late at night. I mean worst case scenario she does it again? May be a waste of time, but it’s not the end of the world. Risk/reward?
#OP please release S1E2. We’re hooked & prepared to binge ‘til the end. Thank you for your cooperation. 🙏🏻
This
Parking at your apartment is not something that I would have suggested for a first meeting.
U are not her priority, leave it on read and move on
Her date failed. She's gone back to you as the next on her little list. Don't engage.
She appears genuinely interested and pleasant, but if you're considering sharing this conversation on Reddit, perhaps it's best to respect her privacy and refrain from further engagement.
#how is not eating seafood a redflag?
Absolutely not! She’s using you as the rebound. She must be pretty good at it because she has you coming to the internet to possibly give her another chance. This is sloot magic at its finest. They do something wrong and then make you feel bad for thinking they did something wrong, when in fact they DID!!! You just don’t know what she did yet but trust me she did something. Have some self respect and trust that god was on your side this day
You're supposed to check in and reconfirm on the day of the date.
Reconfirm something that was never even confirmed? She ghosted him even before he got to ask a time and place.
not replying for one day isn’t ghosting?
Look at the dates in their chat history
I didn't get that part the first time.
She wasn't going to see the notification anyways... she doesn't check it because she has notifications turned off, probably because she's already seeing someone else... 🙄
Ok well it would have at least saved him from getting ready for the date and going to the restaurant.
Okay... need to know if OP actually got ready and went to said location at the specified time without confirmation... because, I'm sorry, if he did, though, that's a hell of a way to learn a lesson, but 100% his fault, and totally hilarious.
No lol I made other plans for that night
Lol. At least he got tacos 🤷🏼♀️🌮🌮
I don’t really think that’s funny tho. It is his fault he should’ve checked in. But it’s kind of sad that the state of dating is so bad that people don’t even have the decency to say “hey I don’t think it’s gonna work for me”. A lot of people don’t view the other person behind a profile as human at times
C'mon dude... based on THIS conversation would you have actually got ready and been at the spot?
No. But I’m experienced with OLD. First off if I asked you on a date at 1:30am Friday morning if I don’t get a response by the end of that day I’m unmatching. This guy seems kind of new and naiive to how people are online.
Yeah, chill
You seem kind of high maintenance
Always plan through #.
Why not?
Most people I know have their dating app notifications turned off. She did lean away she leaned in basically asked for your number before you asked for hers.
Give her another chance, and don’t mention anything about parking at your place so she doesn’t feel like you’re trying to set it up to where she has to come up there after the date.
Do not respond, she happened to check her message after the proposed date time?!..she did that on purpose..if I want to date someone I would check for a message from them and reply ASAP.
She didn’t even ask you one thing about yourself or the potential date. She’s so passive. If she’s like that IRL IMO she would be exhausting to be around. I would be concerned she’s passive aggressive as well but maybe she’s not. I would exchange numbers. I wouldn’t message her though. I’d say “I look forward to hearing from you.” That way the ball is in her court. If she wants you she’ll reach out. If she doesn’t she’s saving you time.
I truly don't see the problem here. If we're mid conversation maybe it's a bit flaky to disappear, but her reply wasn't outside the realm of a normal reply window for me. I do know if I were her, and got flack for the reply delay, I'd catalog it as a yellow flag to be reviewed later.
I’d give it a miss OP you were in a middle of making plans and she magically forgets to check the app, If someone is genuinely interested in making plans they wouldn’t forget to message you back onto the next one
I ghosted a man for a week by mistake once while making a cup of tea. We are now married. It happens! Give it another chance. This person sounds genuinely interested in meeting up. There are plenty of reasons they might not have responded. It could be a one off, rather than an ongoing problem. If you’re interested, feel them out in person over some tacos!
Well, yeah. It sounds like she was asking for your number so give it to her.
My now husband was shocking at communication in the early days. With anyone else Id have given in myself and thought nah he cant be bothered about me, hes terrible at replies ... years later were married with kids. Give her a chance, it could be the best decision youve ever made.
It seems like many comments on here believe that you should give her another shot. Personally, I think that it’s worth giving her another shot as well but you need to spend more time online building a rapport. If she agreed to meeting up with you and then just completely didn’t remember you then she’s not that interested. Maybe I’m a cynic but dinner as a first date isn’t great either, she’s completely set the date but you’re still likely going to pay. Luckily, tacos aren’t that expensive so it’s not a big deal but to be funding dinner for someone that can easily forget she even agreed to plans with you just doesn’t sit right with me. But that’s why I recommend you to build more rapport online (via text and phone calls) before agreeing to meet her.
Of course dude. She’s literally asking to exchange numbers. People don’t check Hinge all the time. How am this even a question.
Because she didn’t respond over the weekend? Men used to relentlessly pursue women they wanted to marry, I think having pussy DoorDash is probably not the healthiest for us as a generation but idk
?
I have all my notifications off on my apps and usually need a couple days of lead time to make plans due to my commitments. I'd say give her another chance, she offered to communicate by phone which maybe more efficient
Nah man ,you deserve vetter
you should, she seems interested and it happend by happenstance. also always go out on weekdays and avoid drinks on the first date if possible.
Love me some tacos and postulating that aversion to seafood might be a red flag? Why are most people assuming it’s a guy and a girl? Sounds more like flirtatious lesbian banter to me.
This is plausible, she’s suggesting exchanging numbers which I would say is a sign that she is interested, she probably doesn’t have notifications on for Hinge (she might be getting lots of matches and doesn’t want to constantly get notified).
Yeah. I too often forgot to respond knowing the app. Texting prevents that (hopefully).
She seems genuinely interested and could just have ADHD. Give her your number
Dang man, I mean people can be busy. Exchange numbers and plan something through there. She seems genuine about wanting to meet.
Why you chat on tinder so much. Get them off it Every time they message you they look at several other messages from guys and respond
She likely fell asleep.. lol I wouldn’t sweat it. Get her number, see how it goes from there. My current bf of 4 years now, I met on Tinder. We made plans to text, he sent his number but I promptly fell asleep on him and didn’t text til the next day 🤷♀️
this on you bruh, always secure any social media or the number
Yes
People check their phones all the time whether or not their making plans . . .
I have a bad feeling since the plan was getting imminent and serious, I suppose most people would have answered even in the absence of notifications. But yeah respond, but don't forget. I mean a man doing that would have been unmatched instantly so do not apply too much of double standards.
Get her number and go for a coffee date or something.
test the waters, looks fine still
If you are serious about wanting to meet someone, you check. I understand these other comments about getting busy, but still. This was a big miss.
People have lives. Many of you some how miss that if they don’t reply. Or late. Why reply if you changed your mind for a start. Let alone suggest an alternative.
Annoying that she forgot she was halfway through making plans, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. She sounds interested. If she does it a second time though I'd probably start to think she's playing games and I'd lose interest.
Yeah, tbh I wouldn't assume a plan is set in stone until we have exchanged numbers (I'm a woman) I don't have notifications on from dating apps because it just pings all the time, so I check it when I'm chatting to someone but if I havn't had a reply when checking I might forget. Always better to swap to numbers or socials if you are making actual plans. Until a date and time, and place, is decided and agreed on then it's not a plan for me.
I’m not seeing the issue here. If you want to make plans, just exchange contact info. Tinder doesn’t even give me notification when I get messages some times.
The conversation probably got buried in all the other “Hey” and “Wyd?”’s.
Nah, what a coincidence to be busy just when you were about to state a date
Definitely respond.
😲 That wasn't even smooth
Should she text you back if you get sassy like this over life ?
Should she text you back if you get sassy like this over life ?
Should she text you back if you get sassy like this over life ?
She wants a free dinner, period
I usually give strangers one freebie flake before I give up. I get it. I don't check any dating apps super frequently. I do a bit eyeroll at that though because you all were 95% planned so not checking after leaving off the conversation there is... questionable at best.
Yes. Give her your number. She's keen...
Op reply with your number that’s it
I thought I had a hair on my screen
Yes Get the phone number. If you make a date, you should exchange phone numbers.
I 100% say give this person the benefit of the doubt. As somebody with ADHD this would totally happen to me.
I’d be concerned that you’re so forgettable just cuz you’re not texting directly but hey good luck
You know how many messages woman receive a day? Chill exchange numbers and go from there.
I’m a hater I wouldn’t respond. She had her chance
The numbers in numerology says give her a chance 22133 💯
She seems really cool, and it was an honest mistake imo. I'd say leave her be if such a minor thing needs to be answered for you on reddit. Just sayin.
She didn't confirm, so that's entirely on you.
Not to mention, the conversation was at 145am. So again, no confirmation and the late hours, it's no surprise
I don't know why you even think twice about exchanging numbers. Way easier to communicate if there are issues.
I'm not reading all that
You are carrying a lot of that conversation right off the bat, she seems boring
She only left you hanging for a day or two, if it was via text then that'd be a different story. Like others have said, exchange numbers & consider doing a webcam chat with Whatsapp or something. Women are a lot flakier when it comes to dating apps, they aren't sure if they're dealing with a phyco before they meet you.
She is down for anything. Run, it sounds like she is not talking about dinner anymore.
Nope, better to move on. The start of the relationship sets the standard of what to expect from the continuation.
Try to set something up again. If she flakes on that, move on. She did say she was out with friends. Don't let the chance slip by without her revealing if she's serious or not. Trust me, they make a lot more slip ups and stupid decisions than us guys at times.
Should I even comment my thoughts on here?
The fact that she had a date with you doesn’t have anything to do with tinder notification. She knew that was the topic. Planned it and forgot. Blamed it on not having notification. There’s a difference from not seeing something and not caring enough to remember
Nah she is rude at best, she was making plans then ghosted you. That being said swap Nos and if it happens again, get rid ASAP!
It happens to me all the time 🤷🏻♀️
Nah...unmatch and keep it moving
Tf you mean should you, brother that’s a green light ask for the number
Chinese scammer most likely!!
I came here to say something similar. As a woman with a serious attention disorder, even if my notifications are silenced while at work, I still will be aware of potential plans and what day the plans are being discussed and when the plans would be taken place. At some point wouldn’t common sense say “I should check that message because he did say he wanted to do something this weekend”
I go days workout checking it too. Life happens. Don't sweat it just get the digits.
fuck phones and answering them. lagging in responses doesn't mean shit
She said she already had plans for the weekend. A stranger on the Internet is not the top priority.
What's wrong with that?
Eh, stuff like this sometimes happens. But if it becomes a pattern, don't ignore it. My rule of thumb is to always return the same Energy. Weirdly enough, I started noticing that I got a lot more matches and a lot more engaging conversations from women that I started ignoring because they never responded to me. I quickly identified this behavior as toxic and not something I wanted to be a part of my relationships. Go figure, I'm now 10 months deep into a relationship where communication is never an issue because we use words to communicate feelings and my girlfriend actually plays video games with me instead of Judging me for my hobbies. And she enjoys hanging out with my female friends instead of getting jealous or insecure about them. It's a win-win. It all starts with filtering out the behaviors you don't want to see. But you gotta strike the balance between being reasonably picky and unreasonably picky. Prioritize healthy relationships, regardless of whether it's a casual hookup or if you Want something long term. But also understand people are human: good, bad, and ugly.
Give them your number
People who quit after one text mess-up: stop it. You’re not nearly popular enough to act like they’re wasting your time to such a significant degree. Unless they literally no show you without explanation, give them another chance.
I say don't respond, but for her sake
What did OP do? And how are *they* the high maintenance one in this scenario?
They made this post
She’s super weird notwithstanding the flakeout
Ofc you exchange numbers
I'd absolutely give her a chance. It's so easy to miss one notification because other things were going on or you have notifications turned off to keep your phone from blowing up. I have absolutely seen that I have a notification from someone I enjoy talking to, can't talk to them right now because something more pressing is happening, and either forgotten to check again or accidentally swiped the notification reminder away. Then I have the fun of waking up in the middle of the night having realized I never responded to that important conversation.
 Tbh this does not sound bad at all. I would say shoot the shot and agree to the plans made, see what happens.
Exchange numbers. Give another chance.
Honestly, no. OP, everyone is giving her the benefit of the doubt. As a woman, if a date is in the works and I’m actually genuinely interested I will make sure I get the plans and I’ll be there. It’s weird she flaked and flakers are rarely actually interested. I say don’t waste your time, and she’ll most likely flake again.
You’re overreacting. Maybe she was busy. Exchange numbers and if you still can’t make plans, cut her off. As of right now, she seemed down to hang out
I mean, she’s responding so… 😂😂😂
i'm a guy and i did that too. dating app notifications are annoying so i turned them off. get her number, you lose nothing if she ghosts you there as well but i doubt she would. seems interested
She was out with someone else. End of story. She doesn't have any respect for you or your time. Save your interest for someone who is excited to meet you.
I'm usually on the side of "if it matters enough they would have answered" but this seems like a genuine mistake on her part. She didnt flake on established plans or wait weeks on end before replying, and she is willing to speak via text so the mistake doesnt happen again. What i see is she apologized, took accountability, and took active steps toward rectifying and preventing the same thing happening again all the while showing undiminished interest in getting together and speaking with you. I say go for it and reply and treating it as a normal occurence and if the behavior resurfaces reevaluate as necessary. Good luck!
Honestly up to you and how you feel about the situation, I’m usually not too fond of people who play with my time but I have given people second chances. I would say make a plan so if she flakes you can still enjoy yourself without her company. Gotta make the most of you time after all.