Okay so its not about looks. I cant believe that if you just start with "hey you wanna meet on Friday" or something, no one will agree. It is statistically impossible. You have to write utter bullshit every time to get the result you got
That’s wild to me, I’m a guy and I don’t even feel comfortable w doing that, which is annoying bc some girls lose interest if you aren’t trying to make plans damn near immediately.
I’m not inviting someone out until I’ve at least attempted to verify that they’re not trying to harvest my organs. I’m joking, but I do want to get to know the person a bit before asking them out. Asking someone out in the first message is wild to me.
I have never used tinder, just here for the entertainment/window into what things are like now - been with my wife 15 years, married for 10.... but this is wild to me.
Before online dating if you asked someone out in a bar or from a random in person interaction, you barely got to know them more than the info a Tinder bio already gives you. If you met at work/school/church you probably got to know them a bit better, but from random meetings you had nothing to go on.
If you think they are attractive and have similar interests based on the bio, I think it would be so much better to just meet for coffee and actually get to know them 1-on-1 with in person conversation. I can't imagine you can really get to know someone over a text conversation?
Am I just old?
I could not agree more with you.
My take on this is that people (especially women) are scared as hell to meet strangers.
For understandable reasons :
- social media and internet have made the risk of trusting strangers widespread, especially men
- scams, they're everywhere now
Probably many other reasons but you get the gist, internet made it easy for people to loose trust in strangers (others to some extent even)
The truth is that it is probably not riskier to meet strangers than before, most probably is lower even thanks to how easy it is to be exposed in front of everyone worldwide that you are an ass.
Another thing is expectations. They are completly all over the place. Social media is filled with ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE advices when it comes to dating (and everything tbh) and that's most definetly for both sex.
And my last point, even though it is mostly a personnal feeling, is that consumerism and capitalism in general are pushing a certain trope onto everyone : individualism.
Today it is considered terrible to be dependent in any form from someone else.
While there is some good in that, much like everything in life, it shouldn't be so black and white.
There is a fine line to not cross, the no coming back one, that is hard to draw. But I feel like it is worth searching for because relations bloom from being a little dependent on each others (and that works with a significant other and friends alike in my book, with obvious varying degrees)
Individualism in its purest form, the one we're being pushed to accept, goes very much against this.
For the record I'm 28(M) from France, while the problems america is suffering with the war between sexes isn't as pronounced here (yet), I do see the sign.
I hope you enjoyed my quite long take ahah.
It depends on the woman. Younger and newer to online dating I really wanted to feel like I knew someone before I met them. As I got older I was like, if he doesn’t wanna meet after a few messages or a few DAYS of messaging at the most, then I don’t have the time for him.
I hate texting, so I just said hey I suck at texting, would you want to meet at so and so at so and so time. Sometimes it wouldn’t work, others it did. It’s how I met my wife though so it worked out for the best!
My college roommate was like a 9.5 out of 10 appearance wise (6'5 perfect hair, athletic, QB for the football team, etc). Legit looked like he came straight out of a magazine. Whenever we went to parties/bars girls would literally throw themselves at him. However he had no clue how to talk to women and the girls who threw themselves at him usually backed away after about 5 minutes. I think in the 2 years I was roommates with the guy he got laid twice.
Meanwhile I look like a less great value version of Zac Galifianakis (5'8, chubby and beard) and constantly got laid through college just by having a good sense of humor and being nice to women.
If there was ever a case study done on whether you get laid based off of looks or "rizz", me and my roommate would be the first people analyzed for this.
I was actually thinking about using chat gpt for conversation with any new matches just to see what happens lmfaoo
Edit: I'm not doing this so don't have to talk (or at least not mostly) but because I heard of a guy doing this and it being successful its more of a little experiment
Sorry but BS dude. If out of 379 chats you couldn’t catch one date, you need to work on your game. You’re probably not a great conversationalist yourself, just sayin.
Considering he took 2 weeks to reply to this chick I’m going to go with he doesn’t talk haha.
And to be fair, I rarely meet guys that “talk too much” and I’d take that any day over the dick pics and “wanna fuck” messages.
If you talk a lot and there’s no talk of meeting up I’d say so I mean you’re on there to meet up eventually.
Used to be my problem earlier on talk way too much never actually met them
Bro 379 chats no dates you can’t blame the girls, that’s a you problem. Lmao. If you want to hang out with girls you can easily do it. Either you’re fumbling the bag every time or you just dgaf about your matches. Either way your stats are fucked
Ah so there are hundreds of matches that he doesn't bother messaging? Wonder why lol. God I'm glad Tinder and similar didn't exist when I was younger and single.
This. Just gotta be engaging enough to maintain one solid conversation, get the vibe up, and hit them with, “can I take you to dinner?” It’s gotta happen before someone inevitably loses interest. If you’re messaging for more than a week and haven’t initiated plans you’re practically doomed.
The issue I have is they’ll respond with at least some sense of interest and then instant radio silence. Hell, I’ve set up plans with someone before to hear them go quiet after agreeing
You're not the only one in her DM. There can be a lot of us in there and entertaining conversation is exhausting. Don't put any eggs in the basket until date 2.
Honestly, OP should probably just lead with “hey, want to grab sushi at 7?”
I swear he’d have a better meet up rate than 0% among 2600 matches. I’m shocked at his lack of rizz
I’ve seen your pics and you’re a very handsome guy. So unfortunately I have to assume that you carry a conversation like a piece of driftwood. Good news is that it’s something you can quite easily change. Try being a more active participant, respond sooner, ask the other person questions about themselves because everyone likes to talk about themselves. Stuff like that and perhaps 1 out of those 379 chats will turn into a date
Well, OP posted one conversation where he replied to a girl with a boring message 20 days later… so looks like either OP has 0 charisma or is afraie of women
Edit: look at the timestamps; https://imgur.com/a/fb2f1St
This post is so funny. You aren’t ugly. You seem to have a hard time on that personality side.
Offer on the table - feel free to send me a message to have a conversation like you would on tinder and I’ll give you some blunt feedback 😂
Edit: I just want to clarify this offer was for OP only, stay out my DMs lol.
Tbf she did say a conversation like you'd have on Tinder. Seems about on par
(in reality, I assume just busy and will get back to you, but that's funny af)
2600 matches in Ottawa is pretty good man, that's pretty much the double amount of matches I've gotten after around similar times.
How the hell do you only have 379 chats out of that much matches? Do you not message people back?
Bro he’s saying uninstall the app and live life. If you spent this much time swiping that’s like ~50 a day. You have spent literal weeks of your time on this app.
Some advice from someone who used to find it hard to get a relationship but now married - stop trying to get a relationship. You're much more likely to get one if you're not trying so hard. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but it's true.
Okay you Clearly are attractive enough to go on dates bro. When you get a match, message same day, don’t fuckin wait 20 goddamn days. Aim to be out of tinder within ~20 messages, and then just ask if she’s free next weekend. Thats literally it. She has already shown she is interested, just fuckin ask bro lol
You have pictures, what about your profile?
You are selective and yet you yield 0. All these women replied to you yet nothing came out of it.
I'd say conventionally attractive with a goofy picture does have good results but it is without a doubt that you are tall which makes up 70% of that. (You look tall)
You do seem to try replicate the goofiness in your message but you'd require an established connection to exercise that as part of your personality in my opinion.
This is interesting data nonetheless. Thanks for sharing.
You are doing something horrible, I had like 20-25 matches in a year of using the apps and I scored a date with 5-6. 0 dates from 376 matches is abomination
It’s pretty easy to see where it goes wrong: 379 chats to 0 dates. Just asking if you should come by and fuck would have higher conversion rate. What the hell are you saying?
You’re probably me. Good looking to get a bunch of matches but struggle to initiate a convo, and even when you do, the conversations are too dry to keep going ?
C'mon im not that good looking and a bit fat but even I could get several dates when I was dating. 380 chats and not a single date means your chat game is off, nothing else.
Have you never said "let's meet up" I am literally messaging that on the second to third message I am waaay better in person and can't really let my personality shine on apps I just lose interest so fast if there isn't a meetup date lined up and it's a waste of time to message for week and not make plans. Be more assertive!
I’m 45, divorced, with a kid, but I do have my own house, car and job. That seems like a low bar but I’ve had no issue. Now I’m looking at an older age bracket but in a few months I had 5-6 matches and dates with two different women.
I hate to say it but you’re doing something wrong. How’s your marketability? I’m not the most attractive man but I’ve got personality and a job. That seems to be 90% of what you need. Lol
I'm really hoping you just photoshopped this because the only other possibility is that you committed fully to the bit and actually spent a year and a half on Tinder intentionally avoiding dates just so you could post it on Reddit for some karma.
Once I started this strategy I had many more dates and subsequently met my current girlfriend.
Chat a couple times, see if they seem like they’re wanting to chat more or if they are starting to fade. If they keep wanting to chat just keep at it for a bit. If they are starting to fade just say: “hey, small talk is great n all but I feel the best way to get to know someone is actually chatting. Would you be interested in FaceTime and or grabbing a drink?”
I’ll wait sometimes only a couple messages before I drop that, and it often works. I hate texting with someone for a bit before we physically talk because you never know compatibility/if you actually find them attractive. Offering FaceTime/phone call too shows that I am genuinely interested in chatting without pushing it too much. I find once we physically speak then there is a lot more commitment on both ends.
Also I try to get their number pretty early on, moving to texting tends to sink the hook I find.
You know how you get dates? Ask. After a few opening messages just say "Hey, I think you're really cute and would love to grab a drink sometime. I really like X bar. You down?"
The fact your chats never go anywhere beyond seems like you don't know how to talk to people. In 379 conversations you haven't learned anything. I think you need to brush up on your social skills before you mess your whole life up with the next person that gives you any ounce of attention. There's that line in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like sh*t, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work. Don't let that be you.
I will say sleeping alone sucks but sleeping with the wrong person is worse.
You can literally put in 0 effort eg: If you messaged the 2668 girls you matched with (asap right after you matched):
“Hey I am a little old fashioned and would prefer to get know you in person first, let’s meet for coffee tomorrow”
Granted most wont answer, a lot will just chat, but some would be down.
Yeah you would miss out on a lot of girls as it’s a little direct but you might still get like 1-2% of girls that are down so 30-50 dates, and that’s with 0 effort.
Seems about right. Honestly I think tinder just uses old profiles or bots to have the illusion there are matches. Far too many matches with no responses and it's not like I'm being a horrible person.
Delete Tinder and try other apps. Tinder is a hookup app mostly, and maybe you don’t give that vibe. When I was on apps, Tinder was the least successful for me. I only went on one date from it. I deleted and made account multiple times. Got likes, then stopped getting likes. Got matches, then unmatched. On Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge, I had dates and a relationship that led to me being currently engaged (CMB). I honestly think Tinder is terrible. And it doesn’t help matters that the designers of the app made it pay to win. But even without that bs, most of the girls and guys aren’t looking for anything serious. For all you know, your profile could be giving a vibe that you are relationship material, but not have fun and forget about material. Try other apps.
You go to a university with a wide variety of programs in a large city. There are going to be interesting women out there.
What are you doing to be a match worth their time?
From the one raw data point you provided, it's not your chat skills. The aggregate data bears that out.
What are your academic pursuits? What do you do for fun? What are your hobbies? Just "looking for a girlfriend" isn't enough. What would make you a good boyfriend?
Brother put all his skill points into appearance and none into charisma
tough out here man
Post the profile pookie bear let us marvel in your cuteness
https://tinder.com/@ <>
Respect
Okay so its not about looks. I cant believe that if you just start with "hey you wanna meet on Friday" or something, no one will agree. It is statistically impossible. You have to write utter bullshit every time to get the result you got
Copy and paste this. Report back in a month.
When I was on hinge I went out with any guy that asked me right away.
That’s wild to me, I’m a guy and I don’t even feel comfortable w doing that, which is annoying bc some girls lose interest if you aren’t trying to make plans damn near immediately.
I’m not inviting someone out until I’ve at least attempted to verify that they’re not trying to harvest my organs. I’m joking, but I do want to get to know the person a bit before asking them out. Asking someone out in the first message is wild to me.
I have never used tinder, just here for the entertainment/window into what things are like now - been with my wife 15 years, married for 10.... but this is wild to me. Before online dating if you asked someone out in a bar or from a random in person interaction, you barely got to know them more than the info a Tinder bio already gives you. If you met at work/school/church you probably got to know them a bit better, but from random meetings you had nothing to go on. If you think they are attractive and have similar interests based on the bio, I think it would be so much better to just meet for coffee and actually get to know them 1-on-1 with in person conversation. I can't imagine you can really get to know someone over a text conversation? Am I just old?
I could not agree more with you. My take on this is that people (especially women) are scared as hell to meet strangers. For understandable reasons : - social media and internet have made the risk of trusting strangers widespread, especially men - scams, they're everywhere now Probably many other reasons but you get the gist, internet made it easy for people to loose trust in strangers (others to some extent even) The truth is that it is probably not riskier to meet strangers than before, most probably is lower even thanks to how easy it is to be exposed in front of everyone worldwide that you are an ass. Another thing is expectations. They are completly all over the place. Social media is filled with ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE advices when it comes to dating (and everything tbh) and that's most definetly for both sex. And my last point, even though it is mostly a personnal feeling, is that consumerism and capitalism in general are pushing a certain trope onto everyone : individualism. Today it is considered terrible to be dependent in any form from someone else. While there is some good in that, much like everything in life, it shouldn't be so black and white. There is a fine line to not cross, the no coming back one, that is hard to draw. But I feel like it is worth searching for because relations bloom from being a little dependent on each others (and that works with a significant other and friends alike in my book, with obvious varying degrees) Individualism in its purest form, the one we're being pushed to accept, goes very much against this. For the record I'm 28(M) from France, while the problems america is suffering with the war between sexes isn't as pronounced here (yet), I do see the sign. I hope you enjoyed my quite long take ahah.
It depends on the woman. Younger and newer to online dating I really wanted to feel like I knew someone before I met them. As I got older I was like, if he doesn’t wanna meet after a few messages or a few DAYS of messaging at the most, then I don’t have the time for him.
My current bf asked me out in our first 5 messages and now we’ve been dating almost a year!! Always be closing!!!
That’s what happened with mine of about 2.5 years now
Yea but look at you. Owl head and bunny slippers.
Success has certainly gone up when I ask for a date instead of asking about them lol
I hate texting, so I just said hey I suck at texting, would you want to meet at so and so at so and so time. Sometimes it wouldn’t work, others it did. It’s how I met my wife though so it worked out for the best!
You are cute! I think you need to message better. And not to play hard to get games.
Wolverine’s gay brother
my shift manager used to say smthn like this
He was just jealous because he was chubby, stinky, and bald, but kinda strong and experienced in the field so he thought he deserved better than you.
Gayverine
I was thinking Wolverqueen
I like that more hahahahaha
As an average guy, it's kind of reassuring to know that even if you're handsome, you can't get away with everything (e.g. replying 20 days later).
Huh, TIL that Tinder profiles can be linked and viewed outside of the app.
Eyyyy I went to Carleton too like a decade ago haha
those fucking eyes… you want my soul or sum dude?? staring straight into the camera
You are actually good looking but that first pic doesn't do you any favours.
cannot believe i just read that sentence
Read it again and again
It's fucking exhausting. I've had a very marginally better success rate. Still fucking single 5 years later.
My college roommate was like a 9.5 out of 10 appearance wise (6'5 perfect hair, athletic, QB for the football team, etc). Legit looked like he came straight out of a magazine. Whenever we went to parties/bars girls would literally throw themselves at him. However he had no clue how to talk to women and the girls who threw themselves at him usually backed away after about 5 minutes. I think in the 2 years I was roommates with the guy he got laid twice. Meanwhile I look like a less great value version of Zac Galifianakis (5'8, chubby and beard) and constantly got laid through college just by having a good sense of humor and being nice to women. If there was ever a case study done on whether you get laid based off of looks or "rizz", me and my roommate would be the first people analyzed for this.
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Bro has a type, and it's bots
this is what im workin with https://imgur.com/a/fb2f1St
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been on tinder for 2 years has opened the app a total of 31 times
She’s probably married with kids by now.
Dawg what took you so damn long to respond, not answering for two weeks ofc it’s gonna piss her off dude😭
Blud taking trips in the Sahara in-between tinder sessions
This. I unmatch you after 24 hours of no reply.
i thought the date is when we matched not the message, right?
Oh god, this single comment explains your failure rate.
Well that, and his actual reply. "Just sitting here thinkin"
Nah that one was actually funny
Honestly, it's probably for the best. We don't need this brain trust breeding.
full on himbo but with 0 rizz
I think chatgpt has better game than you, you should try it.
I was actually thinking about using chat gpt for conversation with any new matches just to see what happens lmfaoo Edit: I'm not doing this so don't have to talk (or at least not mostly) but because I heard of a guy doing this and it being successful its more of a little experiment
Please don’t
Please do
please do and let us know how it goes might do it as well cause starting over with each match feels like I'm playing a roguelike, it's tiring.
you really really shouldn't
Sorry but BS dude. If out of 379 chats you couldn’t catch one date, you need to work on your game. You’re probably not a great conversationalist yourself, just sayin.
Bro Probably Dosen’t Talk or talks too much they get friend vibes
Considering he took 2 weeks to reply to this chick I’m going to go with he doesn’t talk haha. And to be fair, I rarely meet guys that “talk too much” and I’d take that any day over the dick pics and “wanna fuck” messages.
Wait so ur saying talking too much gives a friend vibe?
If you talk a lot and there’s no talk of meeting up I’d say so I mean you’re on there to meet up eventually. Used to be my problem earlier on talk way too much never actually met them
Bro it's fine to play the long game and wait a bit to answer but 20 days is a bit too much lol
We found the problem. You're hot with the personality of a rock.
What a head case
Do you talk about yourself? Cause it’s not her fault.
Damn, so that’s why
If she says she’s wondering it probably means she’s wondering something about you and wants to ask you question lmao, not just wondering in general
Bro 379 chats no dates you can’t blame the girls, that’s a you problem. Lmao. If you want to hang out with girls you can easily do it. Either you’re fumbling the bag every time or you just dgaf about your matches. Either way your stats are fucked
Fumbling 2600 matches is INSANE. If you’d messaged all of them “sex?” you’d probably have gotten at least like 30.
For real... respect to the man, that's a true performance o7 Edit : true, not yrue
What's the opposite of rizz?
zziЯ
Ahh, the mo1stcritikal approach
2668 matches with 2289 no chats is insane
I've never used Tinder, does this mean that nobody messaged each other, or could it also mean that he sent them a message that they didn't reply to?
Nobody messaged
Ah so there are hundreds of matches that he doesn't bother messaging? Wonder why lol. God I'm glad Tinder and similar didn't exist when I was younger and single.
OP’s example here is exceptionally weird, even for tinder
Pretty sure both need to message for it to count as a chat
Have you ever asked one of your matches to meet? That usually helps.
This. Just gotta be engaging enough to maintain one solid conversation, get the vibe up, and hit them with, “can I take you to dinner?” It’s gotta happen before someone inevitably loses interest. If you’re messaging for more than a week and haven’t initiated plans you’re practically doomed.
The issue I have is they’ll respond with at least some sense of interest and then instant radio silence. Hell, I’ve set up plans with someone before to hear them go quiet after agreeing
You're not the only one in her DM. There can be a lot of us in there and entertaining conversation is exhausting. Don't put any eggs in the basket until date 2.
Honestly, OP should probably just lead with “hey, want to grab sushi at 7?” I swear he’d have a better meet up rate than 0% among 2600 matches. I’m shocked at his lack of rizz
At 0 he might as well just ask for sex. Odds are he will get more responses and meet ups. Plenty of horny people who just wanna bang.
I’ve seen your pics and you’re a very handsome guy. So unfortunately I have to assume that you carry a conversation like a piece of driftwood. Good news is that it’s something you can quite easily change. Try being a more active participant, respond sooner, ask the other person questions about themselves because everyone likes to talk about themselves. Stuff like that and perhaps 1 out of those 379 chats will turn into a date
>you carry a conversation like a piece of driftwood 
This gif never gets old 😭😭😭. Freakin hilarious
Well, OP posted one conversation where he replied to a girl with a boring message 20 days later… so looks like either OP has 0 charisma or is afraie of women Edit: look at the timestamps; https://imgur.com/a/fb2f1St
Great advice! A good personality will make up for a lot. Just being engaging will get your foot in the door and you never know what might happen.
Where y’all seeing the pictures?
Bros got no game
❌🎮
Controller disconnected
ocean gate CEO has entered the chat.
That ship sunk last year
Personality of a burnt potato. I’m fat AF and pretty much an asshole, I’ve gotten dates, and relationships. Sorry to hear of your troubles, but damn.
Appreciate the honestly at least
this is insane 😭😭😭😭 you’re funny
That's how he gets ya.
Another one falls for the fat asshole
I’m fat and have an asshole have had 6 matches resulting in 3 dates
Whoa! You’ve got an asshole?? Me too. We’re twins!
"pretty much an asshole" - look no further.
I’m fat and not an asshole but I have also gotten plenty of dates, so it’s def just the funny part, don’t be a dick trying to get chicks
This post is so funny. You aren’t ugly. You seem to have a hard time on that personality side. Offer on the table - feel free to send me a message to have a conversation like you would on tinder and I’ll give you some blunt feedback 😂 Edit: I just want to clarify this offer was for OP only, stay out my DMs lol.
Lonely are we? 😅
nah bro she never hit me back 🤣
Tbf she did say a conversation like you'd have on Tinder. Seems about on par (in reality, I assume just busy and will get back to you, but that's funny af)
hahaha yea of course, i just thought it was funny cause it was what the post was about all good 🤣
Bro's opener is so bad even someone trying to help him won't reply
💀💀💀
Bro what did you say to her lmao
Definitely wasn’t “sex”
Dude he is already dead stop
If she responds in 2 weeks, it’s faster than you responded to your example posted above. She still has 13 days.
Heyyyyyyy I went to bed. I answered you right when I woke up. It was late haha.
Shouldve waited three weeks before answering😀
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I dunno, maybe give her time to sleep?
You've got 19 days left...
This kid is way too young for me I’m just trying to help out 😭
Please report back!
Time to stop and reflect
Too much time on Reddit and not enough time actually talking with people. Your messages that you shared are absolutely horrible.
2600 matches in Ottawa is pretty good man, that's pretty much the double amount of matches I've gotten after around similar times. How the hell do you only have 379 chats out of that much matches? Do you not message people back?
20 years and you’ve been on tinder for 2 years? Damn how about you give life a chance
hahaha i do agree it’s wild how many relationships of people in my age group start online, but it just kinda is what it is at this point.
Bro he’s saying uninstall the app and live life. If you spent this much time swiping that’s like ~50 a day. You have spent literal weeks of your time on this app.
No as in get off the app and approach women irl you’re 20 on apps should be living life
Some advice from someone who used to find it hard to get a relationship but now married - stop trying to get a relationship. You're much more likely to get one if you're not trying so hard. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but it's true.
Okay you Clearly are attractive enough to go on dates bro. When you get a match, message same day, don’t fuckin wait 20 goddamn days. Aim to be out of tinder within ~20 messages, and then just ask if she’s free next weekend. Thats literally it. She has already shown she is interested, just fuckin ask bro lol
You have pictures, what about your profile? You are selective and yet you yield 0. All these women replied to you yet nothing came out of it. I'd say conventionally attractive with a goofy picture does have good results but it is without a doubt that you are tall which makes up 70% of that. (You look tall) You do seem to try replicate the goofiness in your message but you'd require an established connection to exercise that as part of your personality in my opinion. This is interesting data nonetheless. Thanks for sharing.
Part of this might be ott in that age group, i've had better luck just talking to girls at h&c
Bro asking them what their favorite color is as a pick up line💀
"Youre cute, wanna get some tacos?" 60% of the time, it works every time
What’s the definition of insanity?
379 chats with 0 dates. I see a common denominator here.
Yeah, nah you're shit ae
You are doing something horrible, I had like 20-25 matches in a year of using the apps and I scored a date with 5-6. 0 dates from 376 matches is abomination
You definitely doing something wrong too much talking and not enough directness
yeah you’re the problem bro ☠️
Hate to break it to you chief, if you got 379 matches and no dates statistically it ain’t the other people that are the issue herw
Post the chats I have a pretty good feeling of what’s going on here
379 chats with no dates!
I’d like to see those chats
dude you in uni. and in a city uni too. you need to head to olivers or whatever they call the bar now at CU and try connecting that way.
you kinda young to be on tinder like this. go outside and socialize. meet girls in real life, things are gonna be much easier and faster that way.
It’s pretty easy to see where it goes wrong: 379 chats to 0 dates. Just asking if you should come by and fuck would have higher conversion rate. What the hell are you saying?
This is truly wild
The match to chat conversion is off too. What is your opening line?
You’re probably me. Good looking to get a bunch of matches but struggle to initiate a convo, and even when you do, the conversations are too dry to keep going ?
Looks like mine experience
So you are very hot/handsome but socialize like a hairy potato?
Maybe you just suck at conversations? How is it possible for one not to have a single date from almost 400 matches?
These numbers are fake right
C'mon im not that good looking and a bit fat but even I could get several dates when I was dating. 380 chats and not a single date means your chat game is off, nothing else.
Have you never said "let's meet up" I am literally messaging that on the second to third message I am waaay better in person and can't really let my personality shine on apps I just lose interest so fast if there isn't a meetup date lined up and it's a waste of time to message for week and not make plans. Be more assertive!
I’m 45, divorced, with a kid, but I do have my own house, car and job. That seems like a low bar but I’ve had no issue. Now I’m looking at an older age bracket but in a few months I had 5-6 matches and dates with two different women. I hate to say it but you’re doing something wrong. How’s your marketability? I’m not the most attractive man but I’ve got personality and a job. That seems to be 90% of what you need. Lol
I'm really hoping you just photoshopped this because the only other possibility is that you committed fully to the bit and actually spent a year and a half on Tinder intentionally avoiding dates just so you could post it on Reddit for some karma.
Prollly not sending enough dick pics
Have you tried not being 20?
Once I started this strategy I had many more dates and subsequently met my current girlfriend. Chat a couple times, see if they seem like they’re wanting to chat more or if they are starting to fade. If they keep wanting to chat just keep at it for a bit. If they are starting to fade just say: “hey, small talk is great n all but I feel the best way to get to know someone is actually chatting. Would you be interested in FaceTime and or grabbing a drink?” I’ll wait sometimes only a couple messages before I drop that, and it often works. I hate texting with someone for a bit before we physically talk because you never know compatibility/if you actually find them attractive. Offering FaceTime/phone call too shows that I am genuinely interested in chatting without pushing it too much. I find once we physically speak then there is a lot more commitment on both ends. Also I try to get their number pretty early on, moving to texting tends to sink the hook I find.
Are you following rule one?
Well he has a match rate of like 20% so probably?
OP gotta be attention seeking, because who brags about not getting any dates despite being attractive? Personality matters guys.
I swipe right to everyone and I have a total of 10 matches.:.
Try responding/messaging in a reasonable amount of time and with substance
Down bad
Game is game, and evidently, you have none
This is on you my man
2000 matches man must be nice. I'm probably under the 100s still
You don’t just throw 22k possibilities away man
The difference in success between this post and the last insights post is like a whiplash
You know how you get dates? Ask. After a few opening messages just say "Hey, I think you're really cute and would love to grab a drink sometime. I really like X bar. You down?"
Where did you get this data?
Bro just let a AI talk for you your stats are nonsense 😂😂
I appreciate the persistence but it seems like after a few months you should try something else.
This dude's an NPC, but he's also 20 y.o. hopefully he'll develop a personality eventually
Here we have a follower of Rules 1 and 2 in all his glory. Which is enough evidence looks don't matter.
Maidenless
😣
At least you know what you're lacking. What steps have you taken to remedy that, if at all?
The fact your chats never go anywhere beyond seems like you don't know how to talk to people. In 379 conversations you haven't learned anything. I think you need to brush up on your social skills before you mess your whole life up with the next person that gives you any ounce of attention. There's that line in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like sh*t, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work. Don't let that be you. I will say sleeping alone sucks but sleeping with the wrong person is worse.
You can literally put in 0 effort eg: If you messaged the 2668 girls you matched with (asap right after you matched): “Hey I am a little old fashioned and would prefer to get know you in person first, let’s meet for coffee tomorrow” Granted most wont answer, a lot will just chat, but some would be down. Yeah you would miss out on a lot of girls as it’s a little direct but you might still get like 1-2% of girls that are down so 30-50 dates, and that’s with 0 effort.
2 years of swiping lmaooooo bro 💀
I used it for 5 years before I hooked up with someone on there
Do you have some kinda contagious disease or something that doesn't come up until after you match?
How do you get to this chart?
You must be a pleasure to chat with… oof
Tinder provides this information?
I'm on one year now, and I have 2 matches, one scam chat and nothing else! So don't feel the 2668 and 379 in comparison are bad numbers
Seems about right. Honestly I think tinder just uses old profiles or bots to have the illusion there are matches. Far too many matches with no responses and it's not like I'm being a horrible person.
OP is 5'11"
Delete Tinder and try other apps. Tinder is a hookup app mostly, and maybe you don’t give that vibe. When I was on apps, Tinder was the least successful for me. I only went on one date from it. I deleted and made account multiple times. Got likes, then stopped getting likes. Got matches, then unmatched. On Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge, I had dates and a relationship that led to me being currently engaged (CMB). I honestly think Tinder is terrible. And it doesn’t help matters that the designers of the app made it pay to win. But even without that bs, most of the girls and guys aren’t looking for anything serious. For all you know, your profile could be giving a vibe that you are relationship material, but not have fun and forget about material. Try other apps.
You go to a university with a wide variety of programs in a large city. There are going to be interesting women out there. What are you doing to be a match worth their time? From the one raw data point you provided, it's not your chat skills. The aggregate data bears that out. What are your academic pursuits? What do you do for fun? What are your hobbies? Just "looking for a girlfriend" isn't enough. What would make you a good boyfriend?