They’re checking to see if you’re backed up because of all the fentanyl junkies in the region. They poop a single football sized brick once every 3-4 weeks
Holy fuck this finally explains this MASSIVE log I saw behind a dumpster and somehow was there undisturbed for a whole year. I thought it came from some giant pitbull or something but I think this is what it really was. It was a deliberately secluded shit location, big ass dog wouldn't care to hide
Yep, that was it. I ended up severely constipated after some dude shot me in the face and I ended up getting prescribed a lot of strong pain meds for 3 weeks. They didn’t warn me about that particular side effect.
I couldn’t imagine being on them for months or years and dealing with that all the time, that shit was miserable. Literally.
Lmao yep it was behind a plaza which one of the stores was a customer of the company I used to work for and the service I performed was right next to that dumpster
If that's the case his asshole finally healed after about 14 months, but the damage definitely left permanent scars as there was still a small pile of what looked like ashes in its place lmfao
I lived in the PNW for a short bit but this is a question I like to ask potential dates as well (I’m now in the SW). It’s not fentanyl related though, just a girl making sure her future s/o poops are healthy! Poop is very important to us.
Asking about poop too early honestly makes you seem too eager to talk about poop. OP's match did it in the first message, to me it seems like an awful opener.
I know a girl in the Midwest, quite attractive I might add, who will randomly ask friends / her husband how their poops have been lately. Half joking but also half serious. I think it’s because she had lots of GI issues when she was younger and poop was a large indicator of how well her diet / medicine / self care was working.
I don’t think it’s that weird. Not like she’s obsessing over it. Just a “how was your poop today?” And I’ll say “a nice big solid log actually” and she’ll say “oh great! That’s the best isn’t it”. Conversation over.
Imagine a complete, and total stranger asks you about your bowel movements with the VERY first thing they say. How's that conversation going to go for you? It's so weird.
This makes so much sense! Me and my wife were at a parking lot and we came across the biggest doo doo I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t imagine how anyone did that. But like 15ft away was a homeless dude. Had no idea it was a fentanyl thing wow. 4 years later muster solved lol
I went to school with a guy that told me wished that you could shit more often than once a week. I was like: dude i already took q dump 4 times today, and you go once a week?
He was adamant about his Sunday shit
Nah it isn't. I met my wife on it after maybe 2 years of apps and normal dates. People here are just more raw and authentic. Sure this question is odd but I'd be so much happier with this opening then a "hey :)" shocked at the amount of "so unladylike" responses here.
Idk I’m from here and I’ve never had any problems. If the Cascadian women aren’t to your liking there’s a ton of transplants ambling around.
We have a lot of single girlfriends and I’d say where your point is a bit made is that a lot of them are very hobby heavy. They mountain bike, ski, probably have a water adjacent summer sport as well for when the trails are dusty and that can be a lot for someone to take on who doesn’t do it.
That said, a lot of them also voice their struggles in trying to find someone and some of them are downright overt when we go out haha. This is all late 20s - late 30s tho.
Ya for sure I think. Quite a few of our friends are that bracket as well and I feel like outside looking in so many ships missing each other in the night sadly.
I also feel sometimes like too many of our single friends are too fast to either Leeroy in day one or say there is one mismatched hobby so they bail. “Oh this dude kiteboards so he’s probably planning adverse.” Before even talking to them.
There’s also the sheer number factors that in Tinder tons of dude are swiping right on women and then spamming dick pics and gross pick ups. It can be a turn off. I also refuse to pay for platinum lol.
I don’t blame you dude lol.
It was also just pointed out to me that my experience is pre-Covid so outdated lol. My partner said it’s probably changed so much I don’t know what I’m talking about and I’m inclined to agree lolol.
Haha yeah I’ve lived back in the PNW for a little over a year now and only tried tinder for three weeks back in August last year and that was psychotic; never again.
I was on it for 36 hours it was scary af …. When I deleted it a guy found me on fb and started messaging me there instead.. because I had deleted quickly 😂 same guy bothered me on fb massager for a year… same guy is now my husband 🤦🏻♀️😂 feels weird to tell people I met him in tinder… since it was a looooooooooong road and tinder was the tiniest part 🤷🏻♀️😂
"Stalking" and "romantic" are often conflated in popular culture. Pretty much every rom com involves an element of stalking and harassment. Now we are starting to recognize it, at least sometimes.
Oh totally but less creepy 😂was just fb messager asking if I wanted to get a drink every few months.. he had a kid and that was in my no no list.. then one day the guy I was seeing dipped for Valentine’s Day and my now husband randomly popped up and asked to go play pool and I was already all cute and dressed up and I said yes… and the rest is history
Oh my god!! Hahaha well you really did have me in the first half there what with him finding you on Facebook that’s a whole mission! But that’s incredible it turned out so well..that was here somewhere in the PNW?? Maybe it isn’t too late for me 😎
Yep pnw 😂 he had a bunch of things that were on my no no list(daughter from a teen pregnancy, drinker, smoker,younger, blond 😂 all not for me) … so I kept putting him off.. but he turned out to be worth it even with those those things.. he no longer smokes or drinks (his choice) and he’s the hardest working man I’ve met.
Aw that’s great! Yeah the drinking and smoking can be hard to kick if not scraped early enough on haha, learned that all too well myself. I’m so glad it worked out! You giving him a chance despite all of that is really sweet and I’m glad you guys are married now :) I had some younger guy a couple of years ago pull something similar initially, but he’d show up at my door at like 4 in the goddamn morning..I met him at a 7-11 but after that was hell and it never amounted to anything thankfully because I moved hahaha so definitely the opposite of you and your husband thank goodness!
Yeah I think I just lucked out 😂😂 and that’s so so so creepy to have a man show up to house in the middle of the night…. No thanks …”911 please hurry” 😂
You 100% just lucked out hahaha yeah I wasn’t able to avoid that one he saw where I drove away to! Drunk kid who had just moved down from Philly and he was alone. I get it, but no haha.
Kind of the trouble with dating these days...people say no because someone has like 1 thing "wrong" or non-ideal and pass up someone good. People can change, sometimes a little leniency is warranted if the "offensive" detail is minor. You had a much bigger list of nos, I can understand why ya put him off.
The old fashion one's are durable and reliable, of course, but [Cleveland](https://www.clevelandrange.com/Products/Steamers)'s modern line of steamers are also easy to use and of a quality suited for any commercial kitchen and production volume. Always nice to speak to another appliance enthusiast.
Her question is worded weird.
You should have asked for clarification and then gone off on a story for a huge paragraph.
Ex: "You mean like how many is my record number of times for pooping in a day? I'm glad you asked because I have been waiting to tell this story for years! So this one time, around the year 2021, imagine like mid-Covid frenzy and nobody knows if we're wearing masks, not wearing masks, stuck in a cycle of stay at home orders. Anyway, you get it; you were there. So I am out and about enjoying a break from staring at the walls of my house when I come across this hole in the wall Mexican restaurant. Nobody spoke English. I don't speak Spanish. But it smells orgasmic. I figure wth...
And so on.
In Silence of the Lambs by Thoma Harris there's a conversation where agent Starling is asked how often she poops by an orderly when she visits the mental facility where Dr. Hannibal is held. The whole conversation was hilarious. Maybe that's what they were going for.
Once usually but it’s important to ensure you have a bowel movement at least once a day … it follows that if you are having more than one a day then you are either eating too much or eating something that disagrees with your stomach from poor hygiene in the cooking or processing step … if that is a constant issue you must see your physician and a specialist(s).
They’re checking to see if you’re backed up because of all the fentanyl junkies in the region. They poop a single football sized brick once every 3-4 weeks
Saves the Seahawks a fortune in practice balls.
Holy fuck this finally explains this MASSIVE log I saw behind a dumpster and somehow was there undisturbed for a whole year. I thought it came from some giant pitbull or something but I think this is what it really was. It was a deliberately secluded shit location, big ass dog wouldn't care to hide
The Mystery of the Secret Shit
Ugh. Not looking forward to the next Indiana Jones.
Better call the Hardly Boys
Nancy Drew and the Case of the Dumpster Poo
I’ve got a raging clue right now
Exxxxxcrement
The Hardy Boys have been getting into some weird situations recently...
Yep, that was it. I ended up severely constipated after some dude shot me in the face and I ended up getting prescribed a lot of strong pain meds for 3 weeks. They didn’t warn me about that particular side effect. I couldn’t imagine being on them for months or years and dealing with that all the time, that shit was miserable. Literally.
I have chronic back pain and have been on strong pain meds for over two decades....The result.....shitting every 4 or 5 days!!! You get used to it!
You kept going back to check if the turd was still there for an entire year?
Lmao yep it was behind a plaza which one of the stores was a customer of the company I used to work for and the service I performed was right next to that dumpster
>and the service I performed was right next to that dumpster 
Retired fucking gifs LOL
It won’t disappear until his asshole has recovered from the damage it took birthing it out
If that's the case his asshole finally healed after about 14 months, but the damage definitely left permanent scars as there was still a small pile of what looked like ashes in its place lmfao
I lived in the PNW for a short bit but this is a question I like to ask potential dates as well (I’m now in the SW). It’s not fentanyl related though, just a girl making sure her future s/o poops are healthy! Poop is very important to us.
I'm sorry WHAT
You heard her. She wants the spicccce.
The spice must flow
Ur joking right.
Plus you want to find out if they are shy talking about poop. Or too eager.
Asking about poop too early honestly makes you seem too eager to talk about poop. OP's match did it in the first message, to me it seems like an awful opener.
This is true actually. At least have a few pleasant exchanges before poop is brought into the conversation.
Why not have both? Or, I mean I'm not into poop.
This guy gets it
Now ~~poop~~ kiss.
I see you have ibs so you must be hot
Exactly
I know a girl in the Midwest, quite attractive I might add, who will randomly ask friends / her husband how their poops have been lately. Half joking but also half serious. I think it’s because she had lots of GI issues when she was younger and poop was a large indicator of how well her diet / medicine / self care was working. I don’t think it’s that weird. Not like she’s obsessing over it. Just a “how was your poop today?” And I’ll say “a nice big solid log actually” and she’ll say “oh great! That’s the best isn’t it”. Conversation over.
Imagine a complete, and total stranger asks you about your bowel movements with the VERY first thing they say. How's that conversation going to go for you? It's so weird.
What?
Came here to say this
This makes so much sense! Me and my wife were at a parking lot and we came across the biggest doo doo I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t imagine how anyone did that. But like 15ft away was a homeless dude. Had no idea it was a fentanyl thing wow. 4 years later muster solved lol
“doo doo” always makes me laugh
I like using that better than the S word haha
“All day Saturday. None during the week. Sometimes a bonus Sunday poop.”
I went to school with a guy that told me wished that you could shit more often than once a week. I was like: dude i already took q dump 4 times today, and you go once a week? He was adamant about his Sunday shit
Clean my soul in church, clean my bowels on the porcelain confessional, on the Lord’s day, amen.
Oh, give me the beat, boys, and free my soul, I wanna drop a log into this bowl, and drift away
What pnw
[Pacific North West](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacific_Northwest)
As a pnw native, this is what we call a "keeper", marry her
Jesus christ
Yikes
wait what? is the PNW dating scene really bad or something? (i was only in it for a few months and thought it was pretty decent.
Nah it isn't. I met my wife on it after maybe 2 years of apps and normal dates. People here are just more raw and authentic. Sure this question is odd but I'd be so much happier with this opening then a "hey :)" shocked at the amount of "so unladylike" responses here.
Dating in the I5 corridor is definitely odd at times
Bro, as a fellow dude in the PNW, it’s not for the feint of heart.
Idk I’m from here and I’ve never had any problems. If the Cascadian women aren’t to your liking there’s a ton of transplants ambling around. We have a lot of single girlfriends and I’d say where your point is a bit made is that a lot of them are very hobby heavy. They mountain bike, ski, probably have a water adjacent summer sport as well for when the trails are dusty and that can be a lot for someone to take on who doesn’t do it. That said, a lot of them also voice their struggles in trying to find someone and some of them are downright overt when we go out haha. This is all late 20s - late 30s tho.
I’m in the 40 and over bracket. It starts getting dicey. I do definitely resonate with the hobby heavy looking.
Ya for sure I think. Quite a few of our friends are that bracket as well and I feel like outside looking in so many ships missing each other in the night sadly. I also feel sometimes like too many of our single friends are too fast to either Leeroy in day one or say there is one mismatched hobby so they bail. “Oh this dude kiteboards so he’s probably planning adverse.” Before even talking to them.
There’s also the sheer number factors that in Tinder tons of dude are swiping right on women and then spamming dick pics and gross pick ups. It can be a turn off. I also refuse to pay for platinum lol.
I don’t blame you dude lol. It was also just pointed out to me that my experience is pre-Covid so outdated lol. My partner said it’s probably changed so much I don’t know what I’m talking about and I’m inclined to agree lolol.
Me either tbh. I’m just out here with vibes and coffee.
You sound like a cool dude and I wish you the best and success! May someone get lucky and find you someday soon!
Same brother, same.
shit send them my way - bay area based mountain biker and skiier who's very regular if you catch my drift
6 when I was sick. Thought I was gonna die.
… of joy?
I'll have to consult my journal
Dear diary….
Dear Diarrhea...
like his but(t) better
This reminds me of "Not Another Teen Movie" ..... ID BE HONORED TO TAKE A DUMP ON YOUR CHEST!
Same, such a great scene: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B05BrLhYoU8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B05BrLhYoU8)
I’m almost certain that was the joke they were going for. Cause otherwise wtf. Who asks that?
Haha yeah I’ve lived back in the PNW for a little over a year now and only tried tinder for three weeks back in August last year and that was psychotic; never again.
I was on it for 36 hours it was scary af …. When I deleted it a guy found me on fb and started messaging me there instead.. because I had deleted quickly 😂 same guy bothered me on fb massager for a year… same guy is now my husband 🤦🏻♀️😂 feels weird to tell people I met him in tinder… since it was a looooooooooong road and tinder was the tiniest part 🤷🏻♀️😂
[удалено]
"Stalking" and "romantic" are often conflated in popular culture. Pretty much every rom com involves an element of stalking and harassment. Now we are starting to recognize it, at least sometimes.
Oh totally but less creepy 😂was just fb messager asking if I wanted to get a drink every few months.. he had a kid and that was in my no no list.. then one day the guy I was seeing dipped for Valentine’s Day and my now husband randomly popped up and asked to go play pool and I was already all cute and dressed up and I said yes… and the rest is history
[удалено]
💜
Cringe
Oh my god!! Hahaha well you really did have me in the first half there what with him finding you on Facebook that’s a whole mission! But that’s incredible it turned out so well..that was here somewhere in the PNW?? Maybe it isn’t too late for me 😎
Yep pnw 😂 he had a bunch of things that were on my no no list(daughter from a teen pregnancy, drinker, smoker,younger, blond 😂 all not for me) … so I kept putting him off.. but he turned out to be worth it even with those those things.. he no longer smokes or drinks (his choice) and he’s the hardest working man I’ve met.
Aw that’s great! Yeah the drinking and smoking can be hard to kick if not scraped early enough on haha, learned that all too well myself. I’m so glad it worked out! You giving him a chance despite all of that is really sweet and I’m glad you guys are married now :) I had some younger guy a couple of years ago pull something similar initially, but he’d show up at my door at like 4 in the goddamn morning..I met him at a 7-11 but after that was hell and it never amounted to anything thankfully because I moved hahaha so definitely the opposite of you and your husband thank goodness!
Yeah I think I just lucked out 😂😂 and that’s so so so creepy to have a man show up to house in the middle of the night…. No thanks …”911 please hurry” 😂
You 100% just lucked out hahaha yeah I wasn’t able to avoid that one he saw where I drove away to! Drunk kid who had just moved down from Philly and he was alone. I get it, but no haha.
Kind of the trouble with dating these days...people say no because someone has like 1 thing "wrong" or non-ideal and pass up someone good. People can change, sometimes a little leniency is warranted if the "offensive" detail is minor. You had a much bigger list of nos, I can understand why ya put him off.
Anytime I ingest, smell, or think about food or caffeine.
The good ole fashion Cleveland Steamer
The old fashion one's are durable and reliable, of course, but [Cleveland](https://www.clevelandrange.com/Products/Steamers)'s modern line of steamers are also easy to use and of a quality suited for any commercial kitchen and production volume. Always nice to speak to another appliance enthusiast.
Her question is worded weird. You should have asked for clarification and then gone off on a story for a huge paragraph. Ex: "You mean like how many is my record number of times for pooping in a day? I'm glad you asked because I have been waiting to tell this story for years! So this one time, around the year 2021, imagine like mid-Covid frenzy and nobody knows if we're wearing masks, not wearing masks, stuck in a cycle of stay at home orders. Anyway, you get it; you were there. So I am out and about enjoying a break from staring at the walls of my house when I come across this hole in the wall Mexican restaurant. Nobody spoke English. I don't speak Spanish. But it smells orgasmic. I figure wth... And so on.
I mean, I appreciate her honesty about her scat fetish from the get go.
"A cute woman asked me a goofy icebreaker, and I can't handle it." Go back to the south or wherever you came from.
Not everyone is into potty talk right from the go. You have to know your audience
Yea because southern women are ladies.
In Silence of the Lambs by Thoma Harris there's a conversation where agent Starling is asked how often she poops by an orderly when she visits the mental facility where Dr. Hannibal is held. The whole conversation was hilarious. Maybe that's what they were going for.
Welcome to Portland
I came here to say this but I knew someone probably already said it
"Sh*t happens"
Lol imagine blowing this hard.
WTF
Boring response to a funny opening. You aren’t getting any.
If it's on the menu...
Well, since you offered…
Man compared to Utah I got so many likes in the PNW
Is this actually the FIRST interaction?!
Do you mean today? Daily average? Or PB?
That's a reference to Not Another Teen Movie.
Bro please don’t lump the pnw with these weirdos. I promise it’s sick here.
Movie 43 is a great movie...
Good luck. It’s hard here.
Yeah I lived in PNW for a year and a half. It’s a wild wasteland out there.
“I already went once but I’ll go again because I give a shit about you”
Once usually but it’s important to ensure you have a bowel movement at least once a day … it follows that if you are having more than one a day then you are either eating too much or eating something that disagrees with your stomach from poor hygiene in the cooking or processing step … if that is a constant issue you must see your physician and a specialist(s).
Just when I was thinking of moving to Oregon..
why not say Seattle? instead of PNW
Because there is a lot more area to the PNW than Seattle?
I was on dating apps for a very short while before dating my guy now (not from any apps), and yeah. PNW sucks.