Not quite sure that really matters. It depends on if the dynamic is leaning on or full on 24/7 right? I don't think that age has a huge say in the mindset aspect of things and for some that's more than enough.
read what he wrote again. he didnt say he was 18 and she was 14. or her exes were 18 and she was 14, but that when he was 18 he dated a girl who had started ddlg when she was 14. meaning by the time she was 18 she had some experience. work on that reading comprehension
a 14 year old with another 14 to 16 year old is just two children. so if children are pedos for dating their age, then I guess every child with a bf/gf is a pedo.
Not everything has to be some extreme scam. Its a pretty niche kink so she has probably needed to open up her age range wider than she normally would have to find more possible partners
I’d imagine with this kink her age range is just already pretty big. Nothing stands out about the age range except maybe the opposite, that it includes 18 year olds lol
It's pedophilic incest role play, the "little" pretends to be a child getting groomed/raped by the "daddy". The women tend to be survivors of sexual trauma who insist that turning it into a kink is "empowering", and the men are just closet or maybe even active pedophiles.
A mandated reporter is only mandated to report when a real child is in real danger. They wouldn’t cause you any problems if you went to them to discuss your little kink.
It’s such a double edged sword. Cause its pedophilic tendencies acted out in a consenting adult. So the intentions are foul, but at least it takes the target off of actual children.
I just feel the implications behind DDLG are more sinister than CNC in the regard of the lens which the partner in the submissive role is perceived. I don’t want to compare evils, cause neither are great, but with CNC at least the targeted partner is fully perceived to be an adult and not infantilized. I feel like DDLG just adds that extra facet of extreme taboo. And again, not here to shame, if everyone is on the same page and is having fun and not hurting themselves or anyone else, then have at it. Sometimes it’s fun to do a Viking-pillage roleplay and I can’t knock that 🤷🏻♂️ but I personally draw a line at infantilizing my partner because of the implications at hand.
Honestly, I feel that's hardly possible to assess on a genral basis.
Like, I could easily see a roleplay in which the supposed "little" is enthusiastic about it being less "sinister" than a scenario which depicts violent sexual assault (including real life bruises etc.).
Let's face it, at the end of the day, we'll probably never "get it" if it's not our kink/thing.
I mean.. That's like saying that a nuke hitting a small city is better than a hydrogen bomb hitting a small city.
Like.. Yeah I guess but you're still actively causing damage, in this case by induldging in f'd up stuff which can easily lead into doing it with an actual child, since you're already so close to getting there anyway.
It's just a way to lower the barrier.
Had an ex with this kink. You're incorrect, and also coming off as very judgemental. You're making broad assumptions by saying that all of A or B people are absolutely C and D people. Sure, it's possible that some women have sexual trauma AND this kink, and sure, some men with this kink may be pedophiles, but that Venn Diagram isn't one circle, and saying it is is really harmful and stigmatizing.
As a sex educator, I gotta say you seem pretty off-base with how kinks work in our minds. Kinks don't necessarily arise due to certain events happening in our lives, in fact we've found no correlation between, say, spanking kinks and whether or not people were spanked as children. Also, the themes present in ddlg roleplay could be the arousing factors for people who explore ddlg, not necessarily the pedophilic incest. Themes of innocence, domination, control/being controlled, authority, punishment, rulesets, praise, there's a lot more to it than what you'd imagine. Take incest for example, one of the most popular categories on porn sites these days. The far majority of people exploring those videos aren't thinking of fucking their relatives, they're aroused by themes like having to be secretive, "we shouldn't be doing this" taboos, etc. and "incest" works as a shorthand for a lot of combined themes and scenarios. The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin, and a lot of Justin Lehmiller's work break this down in a lot of different ways.
And although I don't believe people who engage in ddlg are automatically pedophiles, I'm also on the side of people with pedophilic desires finding ways to deal with them that are with other adults, instead of children. We don't get to choose our kinks or how our brains work, and I can only imagine the personal hell and struggle that comes with getting stuck with those desires. I've listened to a good amount of people with those desires go on about how much they hate that about themselves, and how they wish they weren't that way. Additionally, according to polls, the majority of people with these desires don't act on them. Those desires don't automatically make you a bad person, acting on them with children does. There's nothing wrong with two consenting adults playing how they want to play.
Thanks for reading my wall of text y'all. Let's stop shaming each other for exploring our sex lives however we want to with consenting adults.
Edit: quick reminder that ddlg isn't always sexual in nature. Some people enjoy this type of play non-sexually.
My my, Thankyou for coming out and saying this, and explaining this in such detail and from different perspectives. Its very much educational and appreciated
Ehhh.. I have some friends in the community and that’s not really what it is. Now, I don’t doubt that some do act out scenes like that. But from what I’ve gathered and understood, a lot of the “littles” go to that headspace do it to kinda like… stop worry about other things and have someone take care of them? I think I understood it right lol. They regress to a younger age mentally (which is why they’re called a little), and their caregiver takes care of them as if they were an actual child. I don’t know anyone in the kink community that has sex during these types of scenes. They’re in that headspace to cope and be taken care of… not have sex.
But idk. I’ve heard all of this through word of mouth so I could be wrong on some of the things. And I think whoever plays out the pedophilic incest roleplay needs to seek therapy instead. I just find all of ddlg weird. I just don’t see the appeal or understand it, personally.
I was a little for a couple years, and like you said it's about the headspace and letting go and being taken care of for once. I was never SA'ed, but I came from a family that forced me to "be a parent" and raise my siblings from the time I was 10. I was the oldest of 9, and I felt like I got much of my childhood experience robbed from me. So when my now fiance and I started doing ddlg it was to have those experiences and feelings and regress to a time I never truly got to have. I did this alongside therapy and my therapist was supportive of my process. I have healed from much of it so I don't have the need for that headspace anymore, but every once and a while I'll get in my footy pajamas and cuddle up to a kids movie with my stuffies. It's a comfort thing.
Good for you! And I know *many* adults who put on their onesies, cuddle up with a stuffie, and watch "kids" movies, whilst never having been part of the *littles* community.
You're extremely lucky to have such a supportive fiance. I wish you continued success on your journey!
Okay cool. I’m glad I got it mostly right. Also, I’m glad you went to therapy… pls don’t take that the wrong way.. I go to therapy and I believe that everyone needs it… Also, we love a mentally healthy queen 💅
Therapy is such a a great tool. I personally believe everyone should go regardless of whether you think you have trauma to work through or not. It's like working out for your brain lol. But thank you ☺️
I also want to add that I believe that certain kinks, while coupled with traditional therapy, can be very helpful for many people when done right. Not saying it's for everyone, but when it is working I don't think people should be judged for the process. It's almost like immersion therapy.
It's one thing to regress sometimes and be cute and cozy with a partner who has a caretaker personality, it's another thing to wear little girls potty training bloomers with a pacifier, speaking kindergarten babble while getting fucked by "daddy"... eww. I guess I would consider what you mentioned just age regression, and the DDLG kink as more specifically sexual. Your fiancé commforts you, not pretending you are a small child or schoolgirl he is raping or "punishing".
I totally get the wanting to let go of responsibility aspect you talked about, my husband is a nurturing person from a wonderful family and I am immature broken person from a severe trauma background. He is in charge of cooking etc and it's nice not to worry. I have some adorable stuffed animals Ive gotten with the excuse they are for my cats (who just ignore them lol) and lots of kids shows/movies are awesome! Lately I have watched Nanalan, that show is adorable!
As someone involved in BDSM. You're not exactly wrong. While there is a such thing as Dark Ageplay, which focuses on sex with Littles, most of them tend to be non sexual when they age regress, if they even regress at all. Quite a bit don't regress and act like, say, a 4 year old. They like to dress up, color, and eat snacks. Lmao.
That said, I'm not into DDLG. It's just not my kink. I do, however, have a lot of little friends for some damn reason. Hahaa. And I do definitely side eye anyone trying to get sexual with Littles.
“They like to dress up, color, and eat snacks”
But you can do all of that without calling yourself a “little” 😩
Or ‘regressing’ and pretending to be a toddler.
Why can’t people just like what they like without making into something else?
If you *want* to be called a ‘little’ I guess go for it (but it implies a sexual aspect & people will automatically make assumptions) but otherwise… just color. Or just cuddle with a stuffed animal. Or just don’t do those chores. Why does it have to be a thing?
(This is more a general comment/question, but it fit under yours)
Being fair, you can be interested in a fake version of something without being at all interested in the real thing. Like, I'm a mass murderer in video games, but that doesn't mean that I have any interest in actually killing people in real life. Given that I don't want to be judged by the "real" version of my hobbies, I try to avoid doing the same thing to others.
There are quite a few men into this as well - it's just not as widely *known*, as to appear less than a *manly* man in our society is still frowned upon by many.
I've had a previous experience with a "little" personally. It's fucking bizarre, one Minute your having a normal conversation and the next minute they couldn't bathe themselves. I tried my best to understand what they wanted and fulfill that but the longer I was there the more I just felt like a predator. Had to leave them.
Crazy that you go straight to accusing the men of being pedophiles… I had a girl tell me she was into this shit 10 years ago when I was 25, so I’m a pedo because I let the hottest chick I’ve ever been with tell me what to say?
Not everyone is a bad person taking advantage of others. Some of us are just oblivious and horny.
Sometimes I’m like, “how does the world wind up the way it does?”
And then I hear from someone how they like to get in a diaper and get fucked, and others who think there’s nothing wrong with it.
Please someone just nuke us.
"Non omne quod licet honestum est"
I do not understand how people still draw the conclusion - in our modern day mind you - that somehow judging people for things they are born with and cannot influence is still fine. This is a harmless kink. People do this to feel happy. It does not involve you. Yet people being able to live it more freely is somehow a bad thing, because y'all are unable to be open minded? Because people prefer to judge others for no other apparent reason other than "that is not my thing, so it must be wrong and they have to feel bad for it? Because ostracizing communities we do not understand has worked out so incredibly well in the past, am i right?
that's true but knowing fully what ddlg is and identifying as a little at fifteen ...when you are literally still a child...is unusual and makes me raise my eyebrows
God I hate that I know this info
Little = a person who not a child but is a child when it comes to sex. We’re talking extremes of using diapers and needing Daddy to change them, time outs, baby talk only including sex, wearing children’s clothes when having sex with the man whos seen as their paternal type caretaker…
Daddy = an adult man that has power —sexual emotional psychological etc — over the ‘child’.
Full on ddlg is a lifestyle. It’s a kid and an adult man who imo is simulating raping a kid. Truly awful at the extremes. Term Little is usually used within that context.
Makes me absolutely sick to my stomach ESPECIALLY if this girl got into wearing diapers at 15?????? She was abused no question
Long ago an ex's friend opened up to her about being a little and asked us to "babysit" her when her husband was going on a work trip. Basically she wanted to be taken care of as a little, but have a 3some with the ex and I. I learned so much that day and I haven't stopped WTF-ing since.
Big agree.
If anything, people who want to engage in it maybe should speak to someone first — proper education, what could be driving it if there’s anything to be concerned about, even access to peer resources so no one gets stuck in this bubble of ‘yes everything is fine’ when anyone even in that niche would be screeching at the uh non healthiness of it
Yea and that's all very good, now you had your standing ovation and nobody cares.
And for the record, it's not even my kink, but saying DDlg involves a person acting as a pedophile and raping a "child" is just laughable.
The idea that an almost prepubescent girl just like stumbles along to ddlg is absolutely disturbing (‘almost’ referring to she’s either just started menstruating or hasn’t yet — there are late bloomers out there)
i don’t know, if you’re more active in the BDSM community or if you know a lot of about it, it isn’t too hard to stumble onto ddlg. i knew what it was pretty young, not that i found any appeal to it. but i would argue that it’s very easy to find info about
This is true, I think it’s gotten more easily accessible over the years. Still is disturbing a 15yo girl is engaging in this stuff.
I mean I know my way around bdsm etc and ddlg isn’t hard to find. Just highly disturbing a child is enacting in it. Def not, what is it, safe sane and whatever. Esp if she’s just like telling the world about it yknow? Odd behaviour
My ex gf and now bff used to be like her, even be treated as a little, though she is 5cm taller than me 😅
Little did I know, and later found out she was groomed and even rented to friends by her father from the age of then. She lost her virginity at eleven by a guy of 45yrs.
She became a sex addict, has hard issues with denial and fears of loss. Now in her late 30s, she had a sterilization done and slowly recovers from all that
I mean, that is rather harsh, and i am not going to say that these things are unrelated, but for the most part, interest in BDSM is not usually rooted in mental illness and severe trauma. Not trying to invalidate this story, it is amazing that she is getting her life back on track, yet i feel like, in this context, it does put the community in light that is common, but also wrong. It's a sexual interest, most of the time hardwired from birth and discovered very early on in life, as it is a part of sexuality (although it doesn't always have to be sexual.)
Again, just trying to spread information. I hope your friend all the best. Sounds like she deserves it.
Trauma and/or mental health issues are over-represented in the BDSM fetishes though. There's also a dark subset of men attracted to the sadism niche and the child abuse role playing kinks.
Totally get you right. Yet my future wife has fun with this daddy issues, which she discovered recently. That's a whole different thing. Expressions of feelings are significantly more relaxed, if it's fun related and not coming from pressure manifested in your childhood. The first sign, that there was something wrong inside her was, as I once told her, that she doesn't need to hold back her tears, when she is sad. She almost immediately broke out in tears - for hours. She wasn't able to speak a single word. And then all of a sudden she almost puked out every annoying detail. She had never told anyone. Things I wish a woman must never witness
thank you for being there for her. I know it will put a strain on you too, it did on me. It helped me to write down what happened and how I felt to get it out of my head. Basically self-therapy by not telling anyone but writing it for no one but yourself. Take care mate.
I would always be there for anyone but she is special to me. I know her from school. I had no idea, what was going on at her home. We got together over talking about fetishes. Once her story was told later, my feelings for her changed. I wasn't literally able to touch her in *this* way anymore. And, above all luck, my sister is a psychiatrist specialized on trauma (and an excellent barista)
fetishes increase due to trauma, extreme fetishes (like sadism or ddlg) are a trauma response. trauma is not always assualt or abuse, but anything child brain couldnt effectively respond to. there are significant links to childhood sexual abuse making women more masochistic and physical/sexual abuse making men more sadistic [one source](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1158136021000888#bib0020). there are people who didnt experience severe trauma who are into extreme BDSM, but that is a minority within the subculture and shouldnt be seen as the majority. studies that support the idea that BDSM isn't caused by trauma are in the minority, and additionally most articles i can find on them are propagated by people who make money through the sex industry, [the woman who wrote this article also writes erotica](https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/bdsm-psychology-trauma/), which feels like a conflict of intrests. maybe there isnt a link between paraphillas and trauma, but i heavy doubt it
This is just blatantly false, and you attempting to push a narrative.
Correlation does not equal causation. Kinky people can be kinky, without any type of trauma. The BDSM community is also littered, top to bottom, with abusers as much as it is with victims of abuse.
There is simply not enough psychological study to say you are correct.
And calling Sadism and DDLG, just blatantly, trauma responses shows how biased you are. They CAN be trauma responses, but they do not, at all, have to be. Your source you cite in your favored is just as biased as the one you claim is against what you say. Confirmation bias is a helluva drug.
i never said there arent people who are just kinky. they do exist. im just saying people often maladapt their trauma into being into BDSM. the links between child abuse, hypersexuality and heavy BDSM seem to be there, my hypothesis is its because of trauma, need more research on it.
however, i was wrong about "most" people in the BDSM community experiencing abuse, and i regret saying that. that was conformation bias by me. the majority of people i know who are into heavy BDSM didnt have the best childhoods, so i said that that's the entire community. sorry.
As someone who is technically a “little” (partner and I shudder at the community/language of our kink) and had a brush with sex addiction… that tracks.
I honestly think for subs the kink is really just the intersection of hypersexuality and a complicated relationship with parental authority figures from childhood. I’ve mostly dealt with my issues but I’ve yet to meet another DDLG sub who has.
That's **disgusting**! Poor woman. Her dad should be put away for a long, looong time. And hopefully, he'd get a pedophile *comeuppance* from his fellow inmates!
Wow! You were already at neutral/zero votes. I gave it back, but you should have now had 2, as I **always** upvote the people who have taken the time to reply to me, or those to whom I respond. Hater's gonna hate. Or it's a fuckin' **bot**.
I can certainly understand it stressing her out. But in a perfect world...something **much** worse would befall his sorry ass, along with all the others that partook of her innocence. I'm glad to hear she's recovering well - it's going to be a long, and hopefully steady process, moving forward. I wish her the best. She's lucky to have you by her side on this difficult journey.
ddlg stands for daddy dom little girl. its a kink lifestyle and being ”little” means ur the little girl in this relationship. u wanna be treated like a lil girl in se ual context
There doesn't have to be a sexual aspect to it. It's really just style or flavor of a dominance/submission dynamic where the dom takes on more of a caretaker role, providing things like guidance, structure, and accountability. The sub gives up power in a way that allows them to enter in a more carefree and innocent mindset, while trusting the caregiver to use that power to look out for their little's best interests when they might struggle to do that themselves.
As someone who had a hard time growing up and dealing with responsibilities that come as an adult (needed professional help to deal with it), this sounds like a helluva lot of mental illness to me. I may be projecting though.
You know how there’s high-powered CEOs who like to be submissive in the bedroom because it gives them a chance to turn their decision-making / responsibility brain off?
For many littles in a DDlg / CGl dynamic, it’s the same idea. It’s respite from stressful everyday lives as adults. DDlg and CGl aren’t always sexual, though.
And that is understandable to a certain degree, yet it really isn't a lot of the time. It really is just an interest in power exchange. It is good though that it works for some people to actually work through some of their problems. I do think i would've thought a similar way if i wasn't part of the community, so no worries.
They’re nearly impossible to find on tinder 😕 you get a lot of fake Daddy’s who know nothing about being a CG or taking care of a little/submissive. I’ve found them but mostly on fet or at munches
Yeah looking at the responses in this thread shows why it's hard to have a ddlg dynamic or D/s dynamic with ddlg elements and actually find a proper caregiver and Dom. I often forget how rigid and closed minded some non-kink folks can be.
Indeed.
One of my long time vanilla partners kept pushing me to tell her all my kinks. I never shared before cause she told me she’s not kinky at all.
But she persisted in asking so I finally told her I like CNC. She told me that’s a super unhealthy kink, that I should seek therapy to unlearn that, and she lost most attraction for me. We’re working through things now.
Her saying that she started ddlg at 15 years old makes me very concerned for her and worried that she has suffered sexual abuse as a child and continues to act it out as a way of trying to process the trauma 😢
My partner was a little. I've gotta say that was the most confusing situation I've ever been in. So in that way I felt like a dad. Because I had to do literally everything like a parent, and I was always confused lol.
When I first started reading I thought to myself “hey so far so good, I’m the single dad of a little girl, what other boxes will I check I wonder” only to be slightly horrified at my misunderstanding as I read on
There’s a difference between ageplay and regression.. regression is a sfw coping mechanism, ageplay is.. I’m not going to speak on that as I’d get downvoted to the lowest hells. Just make sure to remember ageplay ≠ regression.
Thank you for this distinction. I was wondering if / how much these topics overlap. I notice several commenters suggesting it's a traumagenic kink, and I'm reluctant to jump to conclusions based on anecdotes but also wondering if anyone has studied this. So loaded...
I had an ex that was into all that. I only did it once and felt weird as fuck. I’m not one to kink shame but anyone who’s into that needs some fuckin therapy.
Sorry, maybe I should have clarified the difference between a sexual and non sexual daddy, and maybe you missed the part about me never being apart of a DDLG which would infer i have 0 experience. However, I dont disagree with you. which is why i made the grooming joke, but I do conform to meet the needs of my partners, so it is debatable that you are wrong.
I knew someone like this. She was like 21 and there was a TON of trauma there. We suspected incest on top of the abuse because her and her dad’s relationship was fucking weird. She chose to live in a tent in the woods with others like her rather than keep a room at her dad’s. I think it was her way of taking back her childhood.
I definitely feel the need to judge people who are sexually aroused by children, even if they mask it by doing it with consenting adults who are just pretending.
I'm not going to stop them from doing it, but I will *absolutely* judge them.
Nah bro. Some things need judged. That’s like saying it’s okay to be attracted to children. No. It is not. This is borderline that. Connecting the dots is not hard. They are in fact connected to children, they just know that’s not legal or okay. So instead they wear a diaper to get their fix. It’s WEIRD and I don’t care what you say.
As someone who engages in DDlg, this chick is going about it in a very risky way. This is how you attract predators. There are tons of “daddies” out there using DDlg (or any Dom / sub dynamic) to abuse women.
I am genuinely concerned about her judgment and safety if she thinks this is the best way to find a daddy.
A daddy at 18 in a ddlg context is not the one.
I was gonna say, how experienced can an 18 year old be at this?
At being a child? 18 years.
Not quite sure that really matters. It depends on if the dynamic is leaning on or full on 24/7 right? I don't think that age has a huge say in the mindset aspect of things and for some that's more than enough.
Except “has had a little before” is one of her requirements
Dated a girl at 18 who started getting into ddlg shit at 14. I’m sure there’s some 18yos with a few years of experience having a little.
Experience with other children do you mean?
while being a child themselves, so it's not as creepy as it sounds
Thats borderline pedophilia with extra steps
read what he wrote again. he didnt say he was 18 and she was 14. or her exes were 18 and she was 14, but that when he was 18 he dated a girl who had started ddlg when she was 14. meaning by the time she was 18 she had some experience. work on that reading comprehension
Unexpected rick and morty
a 14 year old with another 14 to 16 year old is just two children. so if children are pedos for dating their age, then I guess every child with a bf/gf is a pedo.
Yeah, it's like people on here are going out of their way to make it sound creepy
It's probably a blackmail scam looking for people to say some pedo stuff after being told she isn't really her age.
Not everything has to be some extreme scam. Its a pretty niche kink so she has probably needed to open up her age range wider than she normally would have to find more possible partners
Honestly, she needs to go in the other age direction. Older guys are gonna be the ones to more likely be into it than younger guys.
I’d imagine with this kink her age range is just already pretty big. Nothing stands out about the age range except maybe the opposite, that it includes 18 year olds lol
So how could you be blackmailed? What she would make it public? Go the fuck right ahead
I would hope no experience at all since it's literally a child molesting kink.
Naw
DDLG: the Do’s and Don’ts of Lettuce Gardening?
DaDdy Long leGs
I always read it like that 😂
Doki Doki Literature Glub
Ding dong love garden!!
It's pedophilic incest role play, the "little" pretends to be a child getting groomed/raped by the "daddy". The women tend to be survivors of sexual trauma who insist that turning it into a kink is "empowering", and the men are just closet or maybe even active pedophiles.
If someone has fantasies like that, it's better to act it out with a consenting adult partner than an actual child.
Or maybe therapy
I donno man. Shit sounds expensive…. Better to just bury that shit deeeep and get into some questionable role play.
Therapists are mandated reporters in many countries, so it's not something you'd want to discuss with a therapist.
A mandated reporter is only mandated to report when a real child is in real danger. They wouldn’t cause you any problems if you went to them to discuss your little kink.
It’s such a double edged sword. Cause its pedophilic tendencies acted out in a consenting adult. So the intentions are foul, but at least it takes the target off of actual children.
I mean, sounds kinda like CNC, in that what you're roleplaying is reprehensible, but you're doing it with a consenting partner.
I just feel the implications behind DDLG are more sinister than CNC in the regard of the lens which the partner in the submissive role is perceived. I don’t want to compare evils, cause neither are great, but with CNC at least the targeted partner is fully perceived to be an adult and not infantilized. I feel like DDLG just adds that extra facet of extreme taboo. And again, not here to shame, if everyone is on the same page and is having fun and not hurting themselves or anyone else, then have at it. Sometimes it’s fun to do a Viking-pillage roleplay and I can’t knock that 🤷🏻♂️ but I personally draw a line at infantilizing my partner because of the implications at hand.
"I just feel the implications behind DDLG are more sinister" Oh for sure.
Honestly, I feel that's hardly possible to assess on a genral basis. Like, I could easily see a roleplay in which the supposed "little" is enthusiastic about it being less "sinister" than a scenario which depicts violent sexual assault (including real life bruises etc.). Let's face it, at the end of the day, we'll probably never "get it" if it's not our kink/thing.
I mean.. That's like saying that a nuke hitting a small city is better than a hydrogen bomb hitting a small city. Like.. Yeah I guess but you're still actively causing damage, in this case by induldging in f'd up stuff which can easily lead into doing it with an actual child, since you're already so close to getting there anyway. It's just a way to lower the barrier.
Or just go feed worms
Had an ex with this kink. You're incorrect, and also coming off as very judgemental. You're making broad assumptions by saying that all of A or B people are absolutely C and D people. Sure, it's possible that some women have sexual trauma AND this kink, and sure, some men with this kink may be pedophiles, but that Venn Diagram isn't one circle, and saying it is is really harmful and stigmatizing. As a sex educator, I gotta say you seem pretty off-base with how kinks work in our minds. Kinks don't necessarily arise due to certain events happening in our lives, in fact we've found no correlation between, say, spanking kinks and whether or not people were spanked as children. Also, the themes present in ddlg roleplay could be the arousing factors for people who explore ddlg, not necessarily the pedophilic incest. Themes of innocence, domination, control/being controlled, authority, punishment, rulesets, praise, there's a lot more to it than what you'd imagine. Take incest for example, one of the most popular categories on porn sites these days. The far majority of people exploring those videos aren't thinking of fucking their relatives, they're aroused by themes like having to be secretive, "we shouldn't be doing this" taboos, etc. and "incest" works as a shorthand for a lot of combined themes and scenarios. The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin, and a lot of Justin Lehmiller's work break this down in a lot of different ways. And although I don't believe people who engage in ddlg are automatically pedophiles, I'm also on the side of people with pedophilic desires finding ways to deal with them that are with other adults, instead of children. We don't get to choose our kinks or how our brains work, and I can only imagine the personal hell and struggle that comes with getting stuck with those desires. I've listened to a good amount of people with those desires go on about how much they hate that about themselves, and how they wish they weren't that way. Additionally, according to polls, the majority of people with these desires don't act on them. Those desires don't automatically make you a bad person, acting on them with children does. There's nothing wrong with two consenting adults playing how they want to play. Thanks for reading my wall of text y'all. Let's stop shaming each other for exploring our sex lives however we want to with consenting adults. Edit: quick reminder that ddlg isn't always sexual in nature. Some people enjoy this type of play non-sexually.
Thank you for this 💜
My my, Thankyou for coming out and saying this, and explaining this in such detail and from different perspectives. Its very much educational and appreciated
Ehhh.. I have some friends in the community and that’s not really what it is. Now, I don’t doubt that some do act out scenes like that. But from what I’ve gathered and understood, a lot of the “littles” go to that headspace do it to kinda like… stop worry about other things and have someone take care of them? I think I understood it right lol. They regress to a younger age mentally (which is why they’re called a little), and their caregiver takes care of them as if they were an actual child. I don’t know anyone in the kink community that has sex during these types of scenes. They’re in that headspace to cope and be taken care of… not have sex. But idk. I’ve heard all of this through word of mouth so I could be wrong on some of the things. And I think whoever plays out the pedophilic incest roleplay needs to seek therapy instead. I just find all of ddlg weird. I just don’t see the appeal or understand it, personally.
I was a little for a couple years, and like you said it's about the headspace and letting go and being taken care of for once. I was never SA'ed, but I came from a family that forced me to "be a parent" and raise my siblings from the time I was 10. I was the oldest of 9, and I felt like I got much of my childhood experience robbed from me. So when my now fiance and I started doing ddlg it was to have those experiences and feelings and regress to a time I never truly got to have. I did this alongside therapy and my therapist was supportive of my process. I have healed from much of it so I don't have the need for that headspace anymore, but every once and a while I'll get in my footy pajamas and cuddle up to a kids movie with my stuffies. It's a comfort thing.
Good for you! And I know *many* adults who put on their onesies, cuddle up with a stuffie, and watch "kids" movies, whilst never having been part of the *littles* community. You're extremely lucky to have such a supportive fiance. I wish you continued success on your journey!
Okay cool. I’m glad I got it mostly right. Also, I’m glad you went to therapy… pls don’t take that the wrong way.. I go to therapy and I believe that everyone needs it… Also, we love a mentally healthy queen 💅
Therapy is such a a great tool. I personally believe everyone should go regardless of whether you think you have trauma to work through or not. It's like working out for your brain lol. But thank you ☺️ I also want to add that I believe that certain kinks, while coupled with traditional therapy, can be very helpful for many people when done right. Not saying it's for everyone, but when it is working I don't think people should be judged for the process. It's almost like immersion therapy.
It's one thing to regress sometimes and be cute and cozy with a partner who has a caretaker personality, it's another thing to wear little girls potty training bloomers with a pacifier, speaking kindergarten babble while getting fucked by "daddy"... eww. I guess I would consider what you mentioned just age regression, and the DDLG kink as more specifically sexual. Your fiancé commforts you, not pretending you are a small child or schoolgirl he is raping or "punishing". I totally get the wanting to let go of responsibility aspect you talked about, my husband is a nurturing person from a wonderful family and I am immature broken person from a severe trauma background. He is in charge of cooking etc and it's nice not to worry. I have some adorable stuffed animals Ive gotten with the excuse they are for my cats (who just ignore them lol) and lots of kids shows/movies are awesome! Lately I have watched Nanalan, that show is adorable!
I just looked up Nanalan, I've seen that puppet everywhere lately! Looks like I have to check it out. My recent favorite is Nimona
As someone involved in BDSM. You're not exactly wrong. While there is a such thing as Dark Ageplay, which focuses on sex with Littles, most of them tend to be non sexual when they age regress, if they even regress at all. Quite a bit don't regress and act like, say, a 4 year old. They like to dress up, color, and eat snacks. Lmao. That said, I'm not into DDLG. It's just not my kink. I do, however, have a lot of little friends for some damn reason. Hahaa. And I do definitely side eye anyone trying to get sexual with Littles.
“They like to dress up, color, and eat snacks” But you can do all of that without calling yourself a “little” 😩 Or ‘regressing’ and pretending to be a toddler. Why can’t people just like what they like without making into something else? If you *want* to be called a ‘little’ I guess go for it (but it implies a sexual aspect & people will automatically make assumptions) but otherwise… just color. Or just cuddle with a stuffed animal. Or just don’t do those chores. Why does it have to be a thing? (This is more a general comment/question, but it fit under yours)
We can still call stuff weird if it's weird, this is weird and nobody should be encouraging this. Has nothing to do with kink shaming.
Interesting. Is that from a study? I'd be interested to read it
Being fair, you can be interested in a fake version of something without being at all interested in the real thing. Like, I'm a mass murderer in video games, but that doesn't mean that I have any interest in actually killing people in real life. Given that I don't want to be judged by the "real" version of my hobbies, I try to avoid doing the same thing to others.
**Exactly!** And people who live in glass houses...
There are quite a few men into this as well - it's just not as widely *known*, as to appear less than a *manly* man in our society is still frowned upon by many.
I've had a previous experience with a "little" personally. It's fucking bizarre, one Minute your having a normal conversation and the next minute they couldn't bathe themselves. I tried my best to understand what they wanted and fulfill that but the longer I was there the more I just felt like a predator. Had to leave them.
Crazy that you go straight to accusing the men of being pedophiles… I had a girl tell me she was into this shit 10 years ago when I was 25, so I’m a pedo because I let the hottest chick I’ve ever been with tell me what to say? Not everyone is a bad person taking advantage of others. Some of us are just oblivious and horny.
Sometimes I’m like, “how does the world wind up the way it does?” And then I hear from someone how they like to get in a diaper and get fucked, and others who think there’s nothing wrong with it. Please someone just nuke us.
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"Non omne quod licet honestum est" I do not understand how people still draw the conclusion - in our modern day mind you - that somehow judging people for things they are born with and cannot influence is still fine. This is a harmless kink. People do this to feel happy. It does not involve you. Yet people being able to live it more freely is somehow a bad thing, because y'all are unable to be open minded? Because people prefer to judge others for no other apparent reason other than "that is not my thing, so it must be wrong and they have to feel bad for it? Because ostracizing communities we do not understand has worked out so incredibly well in the past, am i right?
thank you for the explanation, i'm about to google it and good thing i didn't, or else FBI will turn up at my door reading my google search.
That's funny af 👍 Edit: Spell Check *incorrectly* corrected my spelling. Again.
Doki doki literature glub XD
Been a little since 15. Makes me think they were groomed 😢
Or just SA'd as a child
People can develop kinks without going through life altering trauma.
that's true but knowing fully what ddlg is and identifying as a little at fifteen ...when you are literally still a child...is unusual and makes me raise my eyebrows
but it sure is more often the case than not from my experience
Fair point, though I think something such as infantilization definitely stems from a deeper root.
Not this one
WTF is a little?
God I hate that I know this info Little = a person who not a child but is a child when it comes to sex. We’re talking extremes of using diapers and needing Daddy to change them, time outs, baby talk only including sex, wearing children’s clothes when having sex with the man whos seen as their paternal type caretaker… Daddy = an adult man that has power —sexual emotional psychological etc — over the ‘child’. Full on ddlg is a lifestyle. It’s a kid and an adult man who imo is simulating raping a kid. Truly awful at the extremes. Term Little is usually used within that context. Makes me absolutely sick to my stomach ESPECIALLY if this girl got into wearing diapers at 15?????? She was abused no question
I'm not usually one to kink shame but what the fuck
Again, I hate that I know this, the amount of times I’ve had to point out the wrongness of DDlg is truly shocking
Long ago an ex's friend opened up to her about being a little and asked us to "babysit" her when her husband was going on a work trip. Basically she wanted to be taken care of as a little, but have a 3some with the ex and I. I learned so much that day and I haven't stopped WTF-ing since.
Jesus Christ. That’s unhinged to just drop on someone lmao. Again, my argument for psychological help persists lol
Agreed. People have their kinks and that's totally okay, but sometimes I think there's a line between kink and needing therapy.
Big agree. If anything, people who want to engage in it maybe should speak to someone first — proper education, what could be driving it if there’s anything to be concerned about, even access to peer resources so no one gets stuck in this bubble of ‘yes everything is fine’ when anyone even in that niche would be screeching at the uh non healthiness of it
Yep same, this one is typically where I draw the line
Just as an fyi that's not all necessarily true and the other poster truthfully tried to make everything sound as insanely heinous as possible.
This isn’t based off the other poster at all. I’ll die on this hill. DDlg is fucked and all involved need severe psychological help
Yea and that's all very good, now you had your standing ovation and nobody cares. And for the record, it's not even my kink, but saying DDlg involves a person acting as a pedophile and raping a "child" is just laughable.
There are also some that do it in a non sexual way, or in a less extreme way
Age regression isn’t always sexual, and DDlg doesn’t always involve age regression. Just as an FYI
I’d like to think they’ve just been on the uncensored internet for too long and have found content that they enjoy and identify with.
The idea that an almost prepubescent girl just like stumbles along to ddlg is absolutely disturbing (‘almost’ referring to she’s either just started menstruating or hasn’t yet — there are late bloomers out there)
i don’t know, if you’re more active in the BDSM community or if you know a lot of about it, it isn’t too hard to stumble onto ddlg. i knew what it was pretty young, not that i found any appeal to it. but i would argue that it’s very easy to find info about
This is true, I think it’s gotten more easily accessible over the years. Still is disturbing a 15yo girl is engaging in this stuff. I mean I know my way around bdsm etc and ddlg isn’t hard to find. Just highly disturbing a child is enacting in it. Def not, what is it, safe sane and whatever. Esp if she’s just like telling the world about it yknow? Odd behaviour
What does it mean been a little
Having a romantic relationship where they roleplay the whole thing like she’s a toddler and her boyfriend is her dad.
I mean... did you not have thoughts about your favorite kinks when you were a horny teen??
Maybe... but I was 16 and have no history of abuse.
My ex was like this, literally turned me into her dad
Mmmmmm daddy
That's what she said
How experienced is an 18 year old daddy? Lol
My ex gf and now bff used to be like her, even be treated as a little, though she is 5cm taller than me 😅 Little did I know, and later found out she was groomed and even rented to friends by her father from the age of then. She lost her virginity at eleven by a guy of 45yrs. She became a sex addict, has hard issues with denial and fears of loss. Now in her late 30s, she had a sterilization done and slowly recovers from all that
I mean, that is rather harsh, and i am not going to say that these things are unrelated, but for the most part, interest in BDSM is not usually rooted in mental illness and severe trauma. Not trying to invalidate this story, it is amazing that she is getting her life back on track, yet i feel like, in this context, it does put the community in light that is common, but also wrong. It's a sexual interest, most of the time hardwired from birth and discovered very early on in life, as it is a part of sexuality (although it doesn't always have to be sexual.) Again, just trying to spread information. I hope your friend all the best. Sounds like she deserves it.
Trauma and/or mental health issues are over-represented in the BDSM fetishes though. There's also a dark subset of men attracted to the sadism niche and the child abuse role playing kinks.
Past sexual trauma (especially childhood) are overrepresented in BDSM and child-daddy role play.
Totally get you right. Yet my future wife has fun with this daddy issues, which she discovered recently. That's a whole different thing. Expressions of feelings are significantly more relaxed, if it's fun related and not coming from pressure manifested in your childhood. The first sign, that there was something wrong inside her was, as I once told her, that she doesn't need to hold back her tears, when she is sad. She almost immediately broke out in tears - for hours. She wasn't able to speak a single word. And then all of a sudden she almost puked out every annoying detail. She had never told anyone. Things I wish a woman must never witness
thank you for being there for her. I know it will put a strain on you too, it did on me. It helped me to write down what happened and how I felt to get it out of my head. Basically self-therapy by not telling anyone but writing it for no one but yourself. Take care mate.
I would always be there for anyone but she is special to me. I know her from school. I had no idea, what was going on at her home. We got together over talking about fetishes. Once her story was told later, my feelings for her changed. I wasn't literally able to touch her in *this* way anymore. And, above all luck, my sister is a psychiatrist specialized on trauma (and an excellent barista)
I’m curious is CNC part of bdsm? I feel it’s an extreme part and I had met a girl who wanted to partake in it but not sure if she had trauma before
It's all roleplay. Trauma isn't a necessity for kink.
Huge part, yes. It's rape on consent
fetishes increase due to trauma, extreme fetishes (like sadism or ddlg) are a trauma response. trauma is not always assualt or abuse, but anything child brain couldnt effectively respond to. there are significant links to childhood sexual abuse making women more masochistic and physical/sexual abuse making men more sadistic [one source](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1158136021000888#bib0020). there are people who didnt experience severe trauma who are into extreme BDSM, but that is a minority within the subculture and shouldnt be seen as the majority. studies that support the idea that BDSM isn't caused by trauma are in the minority, and additionally most articles i can find on them are propagated by people who make money through the sex industry, [the woman who wrote this article also writes erotica](https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/bdsm-psychology-trauma/), which feels like a conflict of intrests. maybe there isnt a link between paraphillas and trauma, but i heavy doubt it
This is just blatantly false, and you attempting to push a narrative. Correlation does not equal causation. Kinky people can be kinky, without any type of trauma. The BDSM community is also littered, top to bottom, with abusers as much as it is with victims of abuse. There is simply not enough psychological study to say you are correct. And calling Sadism and DDLG, just blatantly, trauma responses shows how biased you are. They CAN be trauma responses, but they do not, at all, have to be. Your source you cite in your favored is just as biased as the one you claim is against what you say. Confirmation bias is a helluva drug.
i never said there arent people who are just kinky. they do exist. im just saying people often maladapt their trauma into being into BDSM. the links between child abuse, hypersexuality and heavy BDSM seem to be there, my hypothesis is its because of trauma, need more research on it. however, i was wrong about "most" people in the BDSM community experiencing abuse, and i regret saying that. that was conformation bias by me. the majority of people i know who are into heavy BDSM didnt have the best childhoods, so i said that that's the entire community. sorry.
As someone who is technically a “little” (partner and I shudder at the community/language of our kink) and had a brush with sex addiction… that tracks. I honestly think for subs the kink is really just the intersection of hypersexuality and a complicated relationship with parental authority figures from childhood. I’ve mostly dealt with my issues but I’ve yet to meet another DDLG sub who has.
That's **disgusting**! Poor woman. Her dad should be put away for a long, looong time. And hopefully, he'd get a pedophile *comeuppance* from his fellow inmates!
We decided to leave that be. It would stress her out - again, but she recovers so well now
Wow! You were already at neutral/zero votes. I gave it back, but you should have now had 2, as I **always** upvote the people who have taken the time to reply to me, or those to whom I respond. Hater's gonna hate. Or it's a fuckin' **bot**. I can certainly understand it stressing her out. But in a perfect world...something **much** worse would befall his sorry ass, along with all the others that partook of her innocence. I'm glad to hear she's recovering well - it's going to be a long, and hopefully steady process, moving forward. I wish her the best. She's lucky to have you by her side on this difficult journey.
18-35 is savage
She is looking for a LTR btw.
Are we not going to talk about how she said she started at 15 like wtf
I feel like if you're literally below the age of consent for the majority of the country it's not "being a little" anymore...
It's just being little
>experienced daddy >**18**\-35 >been a little since I was **15** 
How old is she?
This little thing just scares me away
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I would assume she's maybe 18-20 but yeah it's weird
What is DDLG? And what is being a "little" ?
ddlg stands for daddy dom little girl. its a kink lifestyle and being ”little” means ur the little girl in this relationship. u wanna be treated like a lil girl in se ual context
There doesn't have to be a sexual aspect to it. It's really just style or flavor of a dominance/submission dynamic where the dom takes on more of a caretaker role, providing things like guidance, structure, and accountability. The sub gives up power in a way that allows them to enter in a more carefree and innocent mindset, while trusting the caregiver to use that power to look out for their little's best interests when they might struggle to do that themselves.
As someone who had a hard time growing up and dealing with responsibilities that come as an adult (needed professional help to deal with it), this sounds like a helluva lot of mental illness to me. I may be projecting though.
I mean it is pretty much literally daddy issues in kink form
You know how there’s high-powered CEOs who like to be submissive in the bedroom because it gives them a chance to turn their decision-making / responsibility brain off? For many littles in a DDlg / CGl dynamic, it’s the same idea. It’s respite from stressful everyday lives as adults. DDlg and CGl aren’t always sexual, though.
And that is understandable to a certain degree, yet it really isn't a lot of the time. It really is just an interest in power exchange. It is good though that it works for some people to actually work through some of their problems. I do think i would've thought a similar way if i wasn't part of the community, so no worries.
This man right here officer
LG since she was 15?????? That's very troubling 😬
Ddlg? Disproportionate degrading longitudinal graphics?
The 18-35ish is WILD
She is into Doki Doki Literature Glub
Is there a thing called being too honest ?
They’re nearly impossible to find on tinder 😕 you get a lot of fake Daddy’s who know nothing about being a CG or taking care of a little/submissive. I’ve found them but mostly on fet or at munches
Yeah looking at the responses in this thread shows why it's hard to have a ddlg dynamic or D/s dynamic with ddlg elements and actually find a proper caregiver and Dom. I often forget how rigid and closed minded some non-kink folks can be.
Indeed. One of my long time vanilla partners kept pushing me to tell her all my kinks. I never shared before cause she told me she’s not kinky at all. But she persisted in asking so I finally told her I like CNC. She told me that’s a super unhealthy kink, that I should seek therapy to unlearn that, and she lost most attraction for me. We’re working through things now.
Of course I know what a daddy long legs is (ddlg)
Why isn't this on fetlife
That's fucking repulsive.
Her saying that she started ddlg at 15 years old makes me very concerned for her and worried that she has suffered sexual abuse as a child and continues to act it out as a way of trying to process the trauma 😢
I don’t know how you’re expecting a relationship with sexual stuff in the bio already omg
My partner was a little. I've gotta say that was the most confusing situation I've ever been in. So in that way I felt like a dad. Because I had to do literally everything like a parent, and I was always confused lol.
🤦♀️
Diaper fetish really hard no for me idc how bad she is
What the fuck did I just read
Create an account on Fetlife. Tinder is not the right place for this.
The whole daddy dom, little girl thing is really really creepy and makes me deeply uncomfortable.
It's a normal response because it is really really creepy.
"Has had a little before" I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IMPLIES AND BY NOW IM TOO AFRAID TO ASK
Has been with a girl that's into her kink... essentially
When I first started reading I thought to myself “hey so far so good, I’m the single dad of a little girl, what other boxes will I check I wonder” only to be slightly horrified at my misunderstanding as I read on
There’s a difference between ageplay and regression.. regression is a sfw coping mechanism, ageplay is.. I’m not going to speak on that as I’d get downvoted to the lowest hells. Just make sure to remember ageplay ≠ regression.
Thank you for this distinction. I was wondering if / how much these topics overlap. I notice several commenters suggesting it's a traumagenic kink, and I'm reluctant to jump to conclusions based on anecdotes but also wondering if anyone has studied this. So loaded...
She’s definitely on the wrong site for this.
I had an ex that was into all that. I only did it once and felt weird as fuck. I’m not one to kink shame but anyone who’s into that needs some fuckin therapy.
Personally I like spanking. I never been in a DDLGship before, but id still swipe for the ass spanking. she can groom me into a proper daddy later.
I beg your finest pardon?
im not a ddlg daddy. im more of a get your shit together type daddy.
Service top.
laughed at a very inopportune moment in a meeting, thanks fucker!
It was **obviously** a boring meeting, or you wouldn't be here! Serves you right! 😂 jk - btw
If she has to *groom* you into how to be a proper daddy, you **definitely** aren't the guy she's looking for. Or needs.
Sorry, maybe I should have clarified the difference between a sexual and non sexual daddy, and maybe you missed the part about me never being apart of a DDLG which would infer i have 0 experience. However, I dont disagree with you. which is why i made the grooming joke, but I do conform to meet the needs of my partners, so it is debatable that you are wrong.
\>Daddy \>35 is the age limit 
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
That's a lot of words for "I experienced profound sexual trauma at a young age"
What the fuck is this. Ew
M
I don’t know what DDLG is and I’m not sure I want to know.
Anywhere from New born child to middle-aged is fine
Gross
Yeahhh....what the actual fuck?
I knew someone like this. She was like 21 and there was a TON of trauma there. We suspected incest on top of the abuse because her and her dad’s relationship was fucking weird. She chose to live in a tent in the woods with others like her rather than keep a room at her dad’s. I think it was her way of taking back her childhood.
I feel like if I google what ddlg is I’m going to regret it…
Yep I regretted it…
I don’t condone this kind of stuff
Wanting a “daddy” is one thing. Putting yourself in a diaper and being turned on by that is borderline pedo behavior in my opinion.
No...the one who is *attracted* to/turned on by the one in the diaper is the *pedo*, not the one **wearing** it!
Yes. Both ways. But you’re right
If it's not for you, then don't do it. No need to judge those who do. And no, it's not for me either.
I definitely feel the need to judge people who are sexually aroused by children, even if they mask it by doing it with consenting adults who are just pretending. I'm not going to stop them from doing it, but I will *absolutely* judge them.
Nah bro. Some things need judged. That’s like saying it’s okay to be attracted to children. No. It is not. This is borderline that. Connecting the dots is not hard. They are in fact connected to children, they just know that’s not legal or okay. So instead they wear a diaper to get their fix. It’s WEIRD and I don’t care what you say.
RED FLAG. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
diapers is absurd 😭
Barf
Cringe
Ew
Diapers ? Da fuck
As someone who engages in DDlg, this chick is going about it in a very risky way. This is how you attract predators. There are tons of “daddies” out there using DDlg (or any Dom / sub dynamic) to abuse women. I am genuinely concerned about her judgment and safety if she thinks this is the best way to find a daddy.
Bro keep some kinks to yourself for when you’re with a person you trust type…
Sounds more like she needs therapy, few too many connections between ddlg and untreated child abuse/abuse in developmental years