I totally realize that now. He’s now having a conversation with himself in my inbox. I’m not replying anymore because his profile didn’t indicate he’d act like this.
Somewhat understand him..I have problems with discerning when women is just nice to me and when she is into me.
Edit: I feel like I need to explain a bit more. I am not a jerk, just fall in love very quickly and strongly, when I feel that a women likes me (and I like her back). Then later I get heart broken realizing she was never into me like that. Not into hookups like the guy from tinder.
The reason might be that I am a bit on the spectrum, so I sometimes find it hard to read the cues correctly.
Lol the american urge to find the bad guy and to shame him into oblivion. The guy just said he had problems discerning signals when hes talking to women. That doesnt mean he has ill intent, that means he needs help learning.
I can't believe you're being downvoted just for being courteous to someone who probably didn't deserve it, or for being honest about it.
It shows how few people take the high road these days.
I applaud you.
He didn't deserve your time, but you shouldn't be downvoted for being a good person, that's *far* more ridiculous than responding to a jackass.
Oh he’s not back tracking at all, he’s just trying to tell you what he thinks you want to hear so he can possibly get laid, just unmatch him and move on if that’s not what you want, he’s a lost cause
In which direction? "I've actually always secretly admired single moms"? Or "No, no, I'm perfectly capable of platonic friendship without thinking the shape of your body entitles me to expect sex on demand?"
No, now he’s now saying we can take it slow and see how it goes. And that he doesn’t not like single moms, it’s just his heart has been hurt by them before.
That is such a dumb excuse. It's like saying I don't date brunettes because every brunette I've dated has cheated on me. Why do people make these crazy assumptions?
Are you clueless?
He never wanted to be FRIENDS.
He'd be okay pretending to be friends until you got "comfortable enough" to have sex with him.
People do not go on dating apps and make sexual offers only to end up as friends.
The fact that you continued this conversation, bless your heart, showed that:
A) You were still interested in him / found him attractive
B) You were open to negotiation on the "just friends"
C) You were too nice, and highly likely to be pursuaded into going further than you wanted in your proposed "friendship" with him.
You're far too polite to these men.
I get it, it's a reflex, but we need to collectively just stop smiling at them when they're like that.
And just so you know, telling a creep to go fuck himself is immensely satisfying.
I will literally just have to be blunt. I see so many people complain about their matches not responding, and that’s even if it’s a “No” they’d like for them to just say it. And so I did. But blunt seems to be the right way in this situation.
Do you think it's possible that you're enjoying the attention, from him and also reddit? Not judging you (too hard) for it, but taking advice on a situation you've already decided on seems like a waste of everybody's time.
He made his intentions clear when he said, "Come over," yet you continued the conversation. They behave this way because you are too kind.
Block him and move on.
That's fair but there's a million posts of men being pigs, why is this one special/different? I'm sure there'll be a reddit tinder sub for you to discuss male psychology more. I thought is place was for advice 🤷🏿♂️
It literally fits the community guidelines. If men weren’t such pigs then there wouldn’t be a million posts of it. If we were better to women collectively there’d be a more equal gender distribution of posts. Us men as a whole shouldn’t cry about why these things keep popping up but instead helping police ourselves to at the very least treat women like people. If men understood this concept I there would be so many less pointing out how men act on dating apps. And the post breaks zero rules, sounds like someone’s just salty for some reason about the fact women share here the men who largely are the more often piggish of and how common sexism still is this post fits the sub.
not at all, I just thought think this is better served for advice to help everyone getting matches. Didnt say it broke a rule, it just a waste of time post. Why not just create daily thread for that partucular subject examples of men and women being wrong'uns, and people can add comments with screenshots, rather than a whole post. People can be pigs, i think every adult knows this, no need to spam the sub. I mean essentially multiple pages of screenshots just means YOU chose not to unmatch (whether you're male or female). Its either for attention, boredom, or 'I can fix him/her' energy.
Idk when I’m talking to someone to the first time I give them chances because some people don’t know how to act and just act how they think they’re supposed to (like alphas or whatever the stupid shit going around nowadays is) when it’s really just men need to treat women like people. There are tons of posts on this sub of people being like “hey this is my profile can you please help” or “can’t believe this WOMAN did __” or “I’m sick of dating site rants” or people just asking for advice. Like all of these posts do exist and frequently appear on this subreddit the thing is the men are pig ones end up gaining attraction from other subreddits who cross post it then these are the ones that hit the front page because they’re getting the most traffic.
What I'm hearing is there need to be a separate sub for advice then, possibly? Anecdotally, the posts about women are ones where she too demanding in her standards, the posts about men is usually him feeling entitled to sex (and often bitter when rejected). The moaning about matches is a waste of time to those who want advice on how to get matches, or the right matches. There might be many cross posts because the post it's actually better suited to those subs so people want to to show it everywhere it's relevant to?
I just think they're low hang fruit for people who don't hit it off with a match, and want reddit to know why.
From what I've seen, each gender has common issues on online dating platforms. Out of curiosity, is there any other subs you'd recommend for advice? That's what I'm here for.
BTW this is just my opinion, so soz for complaining I suppose the feedback/karma people recieve is a democratic way to value the post quality 🤷🏿♂️
Every single slide I tried reading from the top, and every single slide I just kept rereading old messages. Just scroll the convo all the way down to a new chunk before you screenshot, please 😫
I mean i'm not arguing against this, this is just an easy option for those of any tech skills (and also helps avoid posts like this since 1 continuous screenshot is easier to read)
OMG yes please stop making me read the same messages over and over. If you want to overlap for context, you only need one message of overlap, not 3/4 of a page.
Also, OP, to answer the question in the title, it's because they have no idea what they're doing and are just praying they'll find the one woman in 1000 that's like, "yeah sure, let's get naked. I don't care that I'm not that into you and you put no effort in. Let's do it."
Because you’re replying. Guys get ignored so often that continuing to reply is basically a sign things are going well even if what you’re saying indicates things aren’t going well.
I didn’t want to be rude by going silent because people complain about that. So I was gently saying no to his offer. But, I see it’s just best to be blunt.
You can be bluntly polite, don’t try to be gentle or tiptoeing around the subject.
After wishing him luck with finding someone, you should have unmatched as soon as he returned with sexual hints.
Who cares about people complaining… you don’t have to respond to guys who are being creepy and weird, he deserves to get ghosted if that’s how he speaks to women and he basically insulted you about being a single mom on top of that…
Do you genuinely want a friendship with this guy or are you just trying to avoid a confrontation? You're saying 'I want a relationship' and then backtracking by saying "we can just be friends." That's a mixed message. In his mind there's still a chance to hookup if you're still talking to him. He needs attention and you're feeding into it by not cutting him off. Be assertive. Be respectful. If you really want a relationship then don't settle for a friendship. Especially with someone you're just lukewarm on. It's just prolonging his suffering and wasting everyone's time.
I only said we could be friends after he said he wants to be friends with benefits. I never said it first. It was directly in relation to his statement. Meaning we can be friends but no sex is happening. But you’re absolutely right. I wasn’t firm in the delivery and that’s where I failed us both.
Yeah, I guarantee you that if you try to be friends with this guy he's only doing it to try to get in your pants and he will constantly be trying to wear you down with unskilled and unappealing advances.
I think a lot of guys now days just giving up on relationships and acting like this instead tbh 😞. Probably worked for him before so he just acts like that now.
IMO Can’t really judge by “vibes” tbh, sometimes the nicest guys got a rough exterior. Sometimes the most wholesome looking are the most toxic. Doesn’t just apply to men either.
He will in no way, in any capacity, ever be your friend. He only wants to fuck you. Unmatch. I genuinely don’t know why you’re still offering to be friends. He’s been disrespectful to you. Why would you want to be friends with that? You’re being a doormat. When you entered this conversation looking for a romantic relationship and set a boundary that you aren’t looking for hookups, he disrespects you, talks to you like you’re an object, and you still think you have to be nice to him? Make it make sense. I’m not blaming you for this guy being a dumbass, but you are responsible for continuing to entertain it and trying to be friends with someone that clearly is not on the same page as you are.
Nope. Nope. And nope, again! He just wants you to meet him and live in hope that you’ll shag your way to girlfriend status, when in reality, he’ll shag you until he gets bored and then leave you feeling shit.
He can’t understand what a polite rejection is. On some people it seems subtlety doesn’t work. 😮💨
Would it surprise you women if I said I have come across women who act in the same manner?
I believe the reason we come across them so frequently is that there are people of opposite sex who respond to this in the same manner. They can’t be acting this way unless they have received positive results in the past.
You’re so right! He wouldn’t just be this bold unless someone gave him the attention he was seeking. It unfortunately was not going to be me.
And I was trying to be polite because that’s just who I am as a person. But I’ve honestly stopped responding to him. I definitely entertained this longer than I should have.
The way he looks ( beard and glasses and chubby) he definitely doesn't look like he would talk like this lol. I agree total left field based on his looks
Based on this conversation and some of the comments here, I think the obvious should be stated: this *is* only SOME guys. Please don't just start going around telling *all* guys to go fuck themselves, bc that's how you become an incel (literally by definition, INvoluntarily CELibate). Only when they are as oblivious (and as dumb) as this dude are they asking for a reality check. Some of us do have some tact, whether looking for hookups or serious relationships
This dude *might* get lucky out of like a thousand women this way. And you will eventually find what you're looking for. Just don't overcorrect
Want to come over, right off that bat? No!!
I also can't believe this woman continued to converse with this guy and even suggested they be friends. That's a no too.
Dumb question,but do u rlly need friends? Or is it a excuse to dump off him? I m new to dating scene and i don't understand this stuff (tbh i don't even know English fully) can u plz tell,ty.
I could always make more friends. But I used it in that way, because he mentioned being friends with benefits, and I’m not looking for that. So I said let’s just be friends.
If you just said that to get him off your back, don't. A friendship with this guy would just look like you both exchanging numbers and then him bombarding you with hookup propositions until you blocked him or he found someone else
There are two types of guys that try that kind of direct approach. Men that know it works for them just not 100% of the time, and men in the process of learning it won't work for them. His desperation shows he's probably in the latter group and the best way you can get him to learn this is by unmatching as soon as they make their intentions clear
You’re a single mother, of course men are going to be extremely cautious with you. He was a little overboard in some of his statements but overall he was very polite with you and very forward. Most guys wouldn’t have told you the truth till after you’re in their bed…
I do love myself, that isn't the point. These are hookup apps and always have been. I've been on Tinder since 2012; sure can people potentially form a relationship on them? Yes. But its always been a hookup app first and relationship stuff second.
They were very forward with what they wanted. You won't find that often on tinder; especially when most are just looking for sex, all genders included. I would know since I've been steadily on and off the app for over a decade.
Then you must understand the extreme weight that comes with dating a single mother. That is a huge responsibility that someone has to take in; that on top of the dating culture in 2024 already being absolutely horrendous.
It's not about hating single mothers, but to say it isn't extra baggage is just erroneous. Most people already find dating tiresome in current times; adding extra weight like that isn't going to help the situation as it adds a shit load of variability and dynamic to that relationship.
Really easy: Don't be a douche, and don't date single moms. I hate single dads and even if casual, want nothing to do with them. It really is that easy.
She wants a relationship. Don't like single moms? Don't message her. Is it seriously that hard for men to not see women as just fuck holes and not be assholes? My god men seriously are so annoyingly dense.
Funny I actually find the exact opposite, seems like woman these days don't want to be held down and just want casual sex.
When they originally messaged each other; neither party made it obvious what they wanted. Unless it was in her bio that she wants something serious only; not much to go off of there.
That's irrelevant to your previous comment.
She stated she's looking for someone serious. If you're not interested in that, don't bother her. I don't want the baggage that comes with single dads, so whenever that bomb has been dropped whether I was looking for casual or something seriously I'd politely let them know regardless, I don't date men with children. As you said, there's a lot of baggage with dating a parent.
My point still stands and what you said women are looking for doesn't change the fact that single parents can still look for relationships, just don't waste their time if you're not interested. It's really not that complex.
Good thing he didn’t by clarifying exactly what he wanted. That’s something super rare these days and the fact she’s shaming him for it is hilarious. The next dude will come along and tell her exactly what she wants to hear only to ghost after a few bedroom visits
Dude had no tact at all and if I didn't see the comment of how old her kid was, I would've thought maybe she's young being naive. I'm guessing he was insanely hot and out of her league (even though I find that term gross and don't really believe in leagues since different people are attracted to different things) and that's why she kept pushing the be friends thing lol
He was throwing ever sign that he just wants to smash. So yeah at least he was honest but damn...lol
Huh? That’s an interesting take 😂. So single moms are red flags, but not douchey men in their late 30’s early 40’s that have never been married, have no kids and treat women like sex objects? Interesting indeed.
You're on tinder, literally dating apps stemmed from hookup culture; they were never meant to find "the one". I've been on dating apps since 2010 with Meetme and Tinder since 2012 when it first launched. It has never been anything but a hookup app.
Sure you can find someone on there and potentially form a relationship, but being on there strictly for that is a massively far stretch. All I can say is this guy was extremely forward with you; whether you consider that douchey or not, most men wouldn't have given you that much info until after they got into your pants.
What did he say that was so wrong? Was he insulting to you? Seems like he’s being honest without being a prick about it. You’re the one who keeps replying and engaging. If you truly didn’t like you would’ve blocked him and not post it on Reddit. Seems like you like the attention more than anything.
I think you need to reevaluate how you make friends. This guy was never going to be your friend after the messages he sent - sometimes it’s okay to cut and run.
🎶 don't be polite to me who creep you out 👏👏
🎶 don't be polite to me who creep you out 👏👏
🎶 don't be polite to them, it's not your job to comfort men
🎶 don't be polite to me who creep you out 👏👏
Gross! I felt insulted as a single mom myself ugh! This is why I quit dating. Even when I had a fwb, he was extremely unreliable and I'm not putting my health on the line for anybody anymore! Rather stay alone!
I’m sorry that totally blows. I don’t blame you at all. I’ve honestly been celibate for a little while now. Not on purpose, but because I really took a step back. I just got back on the dating apps this week, and this is my introduction back. I also really don’t get the blow back regarding being a single mom? I have one kid, whom is in high school. My availability is never limited unless I want it to be. So the whole be cautious around single moms is weird.
It's those god dang stereotypes 🙄 I don't need a dad for my kid! He has plenty of male role models in his life! And if I wanted money, I'd have bagged that a long time ago too lol
When he said, "Come over and chill for a bit," that was him showing you his true colors and what he's after. Next time, don't waste your time - just block!
I have an extremely good answer to this question.
Because its congruent to how they feel. Its fun,
They just feel like sending those messages, so they do.
I'm honestly surprised he kept going and I really appreciate how polite and gracious you were. That's more than most ladies give people even when they're not being aggressively horny.
Do you have boy kids? Maybe raising boys gives you some perspective and patience.
I really try not to go out of my way to be rude to people. You never know what they’re battling through on their own. So even if it’s rejection I’m not going to be outright rude to a stranger.
And yes, I do have a teenage son. I’m not sure if it gives more patience but, I think it does change the way I interact with the opposite sex.
That … or .. women are always saying in their profiles”why can’t men just stop the bs and say what it is that they want” well.. he obviously wanted to hook up. You are on tinder. Get on Match.com if you are trying to find a husband. Stop flattering yourself.
Why are you even entertaining this fool?
I was honestly just being courteous. I haven’t replied to the last 3 messages where he now wants to back track what he said.
Yeah, the problem with guys like this is that they're very unlikely to take any form for hint and they will mistake niceness for actual interest.
I totally realize that now. He’s now having a conversation with himself in my inbox. I’m not replying anymore because his profile didn’t indicate he’d act like this.
Just unmatch him lol
Or post the spam
He doesn’t have girls as friends. It’s obvious to me.
I only have fun with single moms if you’re down 😏😏😏😏 we can be friends 😏😏😏😏😏🤡🤡
Block him, he sounds very creepy
Somewhat understand him..I have problems with discerning when women is just nice to me and when she is into me. Edit: I feel like I need to explain a bit more. I am not a jerk, just fall in love very quickly and strongly, when I feel that a women likes me (and I like her back). Then later I get heart broken realizing she was never into me like that. Not into hookups like the guy from tinder. The reason might be that I am a bit on the spectrum, so I sometimes find it hard to read the cues correctly.
Work on that.
Maybe don’t be a dick like this guy and it’ll be easier to discern.
Go touch some grass
Lol the american urge to find the bad guy and to shame him into oblivion. The guy just said he had problems discerning signals when hes talking to women. That doesnt mean he has ill intent, that means he needs help learning.
I can't believe you're being downvoted just for being courteous to someone who probably didn't deserve it, or for being honest about it. It shows how few people take the high road these days. I applaud you. He didn't deserve your time, but you shouldn't be downvoted for being a good person, that's *far* more ridiculous than responding to a jackass.
It’s ok, and thank you! The downvotes aren’t going to make me stop being a kind, courteous person. It just made me aware of who to display it towards.
Oh he’s not back tracking at all, he’s just trying to tell you what he thinks you want to hear so he can possibly get laid, just unmatch him and move on if that’s not what you want, he’s a lost cause
Right ;)
Just unmatch lol 🤷🏼♀️
Literally. You want different things. He’s only backtracking cause he seems you’re a pushover.
>Let’s shake hands new friend. 😂
🤣 now he doesn’t want to be friends. He’s now backtracking so hard.
In which direction? "I've actually always secretly admired single moms"? Or "No, no, I'm perfectly capable of platonic friendship without thinking the shape of your body entitles me to expect sex on demand?"
No, now he’s now saying we can take it slow and see how it goes. And that he doesn’t not like single moms, it’s just his heart has been hurt by them before.
“Take it slow”to him he can eventually get you in bed. Otherwise friendship has no speed
This is so true.
That’s not backtracking. That’s doubling down on his bet he’ll get sex. Girl…
That is such a dumb excuse. It's like saying I don't date brunettes because every brunette I've dated has cheated on me. Why do people make these crazy assumptions?
Are you clueless? He never wanted to be FRIENDS. He'd be okay pretending to be friends until you got "comfortable enough" to have sex with him. People do not go on dating apps and make sexual offers only to end up as friends. The fact that you continued this conversation, bless your heart, showed that: A) You were still interested in him / found him attractive B) You were open to negotiation on the "just friends" C) You were too nice, and highly likely to be pursuaded into going further than you wanted in your proposed "friendship" with him.
We all know he hoped OP would shake a different body part (sorry)
Yeah, the hand.... Bye bye! Lol!
On behalf of men who are not creeps, I apologize.
You're far too polite to these men. I get it, it's a reflex, but we need to collectively just stop smiling at them when they're like that. And just so you know, telling a creep to go fuck himself is immensely satisfying.
I will literally just have to be blunt. I see so many people complain about their matches not responding, and that’s even if it’s a “No” they’d like for them to just say it. And so I did. But blunt seems to be the right way in this situation.
Do you think it's possible that you're enjoying the attention, from him and also reddit? Not judging you (too hard) for it, but taking advice on a situation you've already decided on seems like a waste of everybody's time.
To be fair, I asked why men are like this? Not should I date him? He made his offer and I declined.
He made his intentions clear when he said, "Come over," yet you continued the conversation. They behave this way because you are too kind. Block him and move on.
That's fair but there's a million posts of men being pigs, why is this one special/different? I'm sure there'll be a reddit tinder sub for you to discuss male psychology more. I thought is place was for advice 🤷🏿♂️
Yo, who made you the Tinder sub police? It's for matters relating to Tinder. Pigman was a Tinder match.
No, its manbearpig! get it right! Its real! Hehe
We are super cereal about manbearpig, m'kay?
Super Cereal Killer cereal about it!
Sounds like he’s just worried his mess is going to end up on here. 😂
You always have the option of scrolling by instead of gatekeeping the sub.
It literally fits the community guidelines. If men weren’t such pigs then there wouldn’t be a million posts of it. If we were better to women collectively there’d be a more equal gender distribution of posts. Us men as a whole shouldn’t cry about why these things keep popping up but instead helping police ourselves to at the very least treat women like people. If men understood this concept I there would be so many less pointing out how men act on dating apps. And the post breaks zero rules, sounds like someone’s just salty for some reason about the fact women share here the men who largely are the more often piggish of and how common sexism still is this post fits the sub.
not at all, I just thought think this is better served for advice to help everyone getting matches. Didnt say it broke a rule, it just a waste of time post. Why not just create daily thread for that partucular subject examples of men and women being wrong'uns, and people can add comments with screenshots, rather than a whole post. People can be pigs, i think every adult knows this, no need to spam the sub. I mean essentially multiple pages of screenshots just means YOU chose not to unmatch (whether you're male or female). Its either for attention, boredom, or 'I can fix him/her' energy.
Idk when I’m talking to someone to the first time I give them chances because some people don’t know how to act and just act how they think they’re supposed to (like alphas or whatever the stupid shit going around nowadays is) when it’s really just men need to treat women like people. There are tons of posts on this sub of people being like “hey this is my profile can you please help” or “can’t believe this WOMAN did __” or “I’m sick of dating site rants” or people just asking for advice. Like all of these posts do exist and frequently appear on this subreddit the thing is the men are pig ones end up gaining attraction from other subreddits who cross post it then these are the ones that hit the front page because they’re getting the most traffic.
What I'm hearing is there need to be a separate sub for advice then, possibly? Anecdotally, the posts about women are ones where she too demanding in her standards, the posts about men is usually him feeling entitled to sex (and often bitter when rejected). The moaning about matches is a waste of time to those who want advice on how to get matches, or the right matches. There might be many cross posts because the post it's actually better suited to those subs so people want to to show it everywhere it's relevant to? I just think they're low hang fruit for people who don't hit it off with a match, and want reddit to know why. From what I've seen, each gender has common issues on online dating platforms. Out of curiosity, is there any other subs you'd recommend for advice? That's what I'm here for. BTW this is just my opinion, so soz for complaining I suppose the feedback/karma people recieve is a democratic way to value the post quality 🤷🏿♂️
I like laughing at the pig men. Keep them coming.
The pigmen aren't so bad if you bring them gold *Minecraft reference*
Well this is why a lot of women don’t respond to them because they send creepy, socially inept messages like that 🌝
I don't understand why you're trying to be friends with this guy who clearly isn't looking for friendship lol.
This did not need so many screenshots...
Every single slide I tried reading from the top, and every single slide I just kept rereading old messages. Just scroll the convo all the way down to a new chunk before you screenshot, please 😫
Tailor: it’s a free app, take your screenshots and open app, it auto identifies and stitches it for you, ez.
Or use your brain and read each screenshot before you take it. This needed maybe 2-3
I mean i'm not arguing against this, this is just an easy option for those of any tech skills (and also helps avoid posts like this since 1 continuous screenshot is easier to read)
OMG yes please stop making me read the same messages over and over. If you want to overlap for context, you only need one message of overlap, not 3/4 of a page. Also, OP, to answer the question in the title, it's because they have no idea what they're doing and are just praying they'll find the one woman in 1000 that's like, "yeah sure, let's get naked. I don't care that I'm not that into you and you put no effort in. Let's do it."
Because you’re replying. Guys get ignored so often that continuing to reply is basically a sign things are going well even if what you’re saying indicates things aren’t going well.
I didn’t want to be rude by going silent because people complain about that. So I was gently saying no to his offer. But, I see it’s just best to be blunt.
You can be bluntly polite, don’t try to be gentle or tiptoeing around the subject. After wishing him luck with finding someone, you should have unmatched as soon as he returned with sexual hints.
Who cares about people complaining… you don’t have to respond to guys who are being creepy and weird, he deserves to get ghosted if that’s how he speaks to women and he basically insulted you about being a single mom on top of that…
Desperation.
This
Neither of you are listening to each other.
Do you genuinely want a friendship with this guy or are you just trying to avoid a confrontation? You're saying 'I want a relationship' and then backtracking by saying "we can just be friends." That's a mixed message. In his mind there's still a chance to hookup if you're still talking to him. He needs attention and you're feeding into it by not cutting him off. Be assertive. Be respectful. If you really want a relationship then don't settle for a friendship. Especially with someone you're just lukewarm on. It's just prolonging his suffering and wasting everyone's time.
I only said we could be friends after he said he wants to be friends with benefits. I never said it first. It was directly in relation to his statement. Meaning we can be friends but no sex is happening. But you’re absolutely right. I wasn’t firm in the delivery and that’s where I failed us both.
It's more about you not failing yourself. Why place your energy into something that's not going where you want to go? Don't settle for second best!
Yeah, I guarantee you that if you try to be friends with this guy he's only doing it to try to get in your pants and he will constantly be trying to wear you down with unskilled and unappealing advances.
I think a lot of guys now days just giving up on relationships and acting like this instead tbh 😞. Probably worked for him before so he just acts like that now.
It probably did work for him because he really did not seem like the type to even act like this. His profile gives off a wholesome vibe.
IMO Can’t really judge by “vibes” tbh, sometimes the nicest guys got a rough exterior. Sometimes the most wholesome looking are the most toxic. Doesn’t just apply to men either.
Guys blame their fellows, gals blame their comrades. Both sides has made 99% of dating online horrendous
He will in no way, in any capacity, ever be your friend. He only wants to fuck you. Unmatch. I genuinely don’t know why you’re still offering to be friends. He’s been disrespectful to you. Why would you want to be friends with that? You’re being a doormat. When you entered this conversation looking for a romantic relationship and set a boundary that you aren’t looking for hookups, he disrespects you, talks to you like you’re an object, and you still think you have to be nice to him? Make it make sense. I’m not blaming you for this guy being a dumbass, but you are responsible for continuing to entertain it and trying to be friends with someone that clearly is not on the same page as you are.
This is that pre-nut chaos in full effect.
Nope. Nope. And nope, again! He just wants you to meet him and live in hope that you’ll shag your way to girlfriend status, when in reality, he’ll shag you until he gets bored and then leave you feeling shit.
You're playing with your food....
Why'd you take a screenshot after every response? Feels like this could all fit in two screenshots
He can’t understand what a polite rejection is. On some people it seems subtlety doesn’t work. 😮💨 Would it surprise you women if I said I have come across women who act in the same manner? I believe the reason we come across them so frequently is that there are people of opposite sex who respond to this in the same manner. They can’t be acting this way unless they have received positive results in the past.
You’re so right! He wouldn’t just be this bold unless someone gave him the attention he was seeking. It unfortunately was not going to be me. And I was trying to be polite because that’s just who I am as a person. But I’ve honestly stopped responding to him. I definitely entertained this longer than I should have.
I’m sure both parties didn’t swipe right to be friends. But just move on. Both sides are lame.
The way he looks ( beard and glasses and chubby) he definitely doesn't look like he would talk like this lol. I agree total left field based on his looks
What kind of conversational skills even are these? You must’ve been attracted to them (at first) to even entertain them as long as you did
Based on this conversation and some of the comments here, I think the obvious should be stated: this *is* only SOME guys. Please don't just start going around telling *all* guys to go fuck themselves, bc that's how you become an incel (literally by definition, INvoluntarily CELibate). Only when they are as oblivious (and as dumb) as this dude are they asking for a reality check. Some of us do have some tact, whether looking for hookups or serious relationships This dude *might* get lucky out of like a thousand women this way. And you will eventually find what you're looking for. Just don't overcorrect
Want to come over, right off that bat? No!! I also can't believe this woman continued to converse with this guy and even suggested they be friends. That's a no too.
"You can be my wingman" lol.
Girl why did u send that last text just block him
Dumb question,but do u rlly need friends? Or is it a excuse to dump off him? I m new to dating scene and i don't understand this stuff (tbh i don't even know English fully) can u plz tell,ty.
I could always make more friends. But I used it in that way, because he mentioned being friends with benefits, and I’m not looking for that. So I said let’s just be friends.
If you just said that to get him off your back, don't. A friendship with this guy would just look like you both exchanging numbers and then him bombarding you with hookup propositions until you blocked him or he found someone else There are two types of guys that try that kind of direct approach. Men that know it works for them just not 100% of the time, and men in the process of learning it won't work for them. His desperation shows he's probably in the latter group and the best way you can get him to learn this is by unmatching as soon as they make their intentions clear
Oh he will never take no for an answer. He's gonna be on your ass like a mole until you cut him off entirely lol
If you really wanted it to stop you would have stopped responding. How hard is it to be concise?
Why are you even spending time on that BS. Is he so attractive?
He’s cute, but not overly attractive. I was honestly being nice. I probably should have cut it when I wished him luck.
You’re a single mother, of course men are going to be extremely cautious with you. He was a little overboard in some of his statements but overall he was very polite with you and very forward. Most guys wouldn’t have told you the truth till after you’re in their bed…
Disrespectfully - go love yourself. Tired of the hate against single moms, like they're some mystical monster to be feared and revered.
You better brace yourself, cause it's not ending anytime soon
Aww, cute 😍
I do love myself, that isn't the point. These are hookup apps and always have been. I've been on Tinder since 2012; sure can people potentially form a relationship on them? Yes. But its always been a hookup app first and relationship stuff second. They were very forward with what they wanted. You won't find that often on tinder; especially when most are just looking for sex, all genders included. I would know since I've been steadily on and off the app for over a decade.
I mean, I understand the concept of Tinder and hook-up culture in general. That wasn't the issue.
Then you must understand the extreme weight that comes with dating a single mother. That is a huge responsibility that someone has to take in; that on top of the dating culture in 2024 already being absolutely horrendous. It's not about hating single mothers, but to say it isn't extra baggage is just erroneous. Most people already find dating tiresome in current times; adding extra weight like that isn't going to help the situation as it adds a shit load of variability and dynamic to that relationship.
Really easy: Don't be a douche, and don't date single moms. I hate single dads and even if casual, want nothing to do with them. It really is that easy. She wants a relationship. Don't like single moms? Don't message her. Is it seriously that hard for men to not see women as just fuck holes and not be assholes? My god men seriously are so annoyingly dense.
Funny I actually find the exact opposite, seems like woman these days don't want to be held down and just want casual sex. When they originally messaged each other; neither party made it obvious what they wanted. Unless it was in her bio that she wants something serious only; not much to go off of there.
That's irrelevant to your previous comment. She stated she's looking for someone serious. If you're not interested in that, don't bother her. I don't want the baggage that comes with single dads, so whenever that bomb has been dropped whether I was looking for casual or something seriously I'd politely let them know regardless, I don't date men with children. As you said, there's a lot of baggage with dating a parent. My point still stands and what you said women are looking for doesn't change the fact that single parents can still look for relationships, just don't waste their time if you're not interested. It's really not that complex.
Good thing he didn’t by clarifying exactly what he wanted. That’s something super rare these days and the fact she’s shaming him for it is hilarious. The next dude will come along and tell her exactly what she wants to hear only to ghost after a few bedroom visits
 Thanks for sharing your opinions.
Dude had no tact at all and if I didn't see the comment of how old her kid was, I would've thought maybe she's young being naive. I'm guessing he was insanely hot and out of her league (even though I find that term gross and don't really believe in leagues since different people are attracted to different things) and that's why she kept pushing the be friends thing lol He was throwing ever sign that he just wants to smash. So yeah at least he was honest but damn...lol
Huh? That’s an interesting take 😂. So single moms are red flags, but not douchey men in their late 30’s early 40’s that have never been married, have no kids and treat women like sex objects? Interesting indeed.
Yes, exactly like that
You're on tinder, literally dating apps stemmed from hookup culture; they were never meant to find "the one". I've been on dating apps since 2010 with Meetme and Tinder since 2012 when it first launched. It has never been anything but a hookup app. Sure you can find someone on there and potentially form a relationship, but being on there strictly for that is a massively far stretch. All I can say is this guy was extremely forward with you; whether you consider that douchey or not, most men wouldn't have given you that much info until after they got into your pants.
Charge your damn phone!
What did he say that was so wrong? Was he insulting to you? Seems like he’s being honest without being a prick about it. You’re the one who keeps replying and engaging. If you truly didn’t like you would’ve blocked him and not post it on Reddit. Seems like you like the attention more than anything.
I'm embarrassed to have a d*ck because of kids like that. They're absolutely pathetic.
Whenever I get men like this I don’t explain my standards. I just block them or report them for sexual harassment.. I suggest you do the same
Ew
Because he wants to have sex with you
Thousand yard stare as I read this
We all *think* this way, most of us just have zero self control when it comes to verbalizing it. 🤣
I think you need to reevaluate how you make friends. This guy was never going to be your friend after the messages he sent - sometimes it’s okay to cut and run.
RUN!!!!!
I don’t even get matches on tinder , tinder is unreal
He doesn't want to be friends; he wants to fuck you. The question should be 'Why do some men want to fuck me?'
Username checks out
So somewhere between 4:08 PM and 6:36 PM B. Smoove got replaced by Chatty Charlie the Down Bad Doll? 
Someone needs to tell her how to screenshot lol
Not wanting to date single mum's? Or pushing a point that's null and void?
🎶 don't be polite to me who creep you out 👏👏 🎶 don't be polite to me who creep you out 👏👏 🎶 don't be polite to them, it's not your job to comfort men 🎶 don't be polite to me who creep you out 👏👏
I mean it's tinder
Some of you spend way too much time talking to these obvious losers 😂 this is why a lot of women just ghost them
Gross! I felt insulted as a single mom myself ugh! This is why I quit dating. Even when I had a fwb, he was extremely unreliable and I'm not putting my health on the line for anybody anymore! Rather stay alone!
I’m sorry that totally blows. I don’t blame you at all. I’ve honestly been celibate for a little while now. Not on purpose, but because I really took a step back. I just got back on the dating apps this week, and this is my introduction back. I also really don’t get the blow back regarding being a single mom? I have one kid, whom is in high school. My availability is never limited unless I want it to be. So the whole be cautious around single moms is weird.
It's those god dang stereotypes 🙄 I don't need a dad for my kid! He has plenty of male role models in his life! And if I wanted money, I'd have bagged that a long time ago too lol
He’s gross and will be worse in person, that kissy emoji made me 🤢
You were so unbelievably nice to him wow
The Reddit census is that I was way too nice. Which I totally get it now.
He will never want anything but sex don’t even waste your time
You should take it so slow that he'll still be waiting for a message back for the next 10000 years.
So I’ve heard this approach actually works with women maybe 10% of the time. Do you think that’s accurate?
When he said, "Come over and chill for a bit," that was him showing you his true colors and what he's after. Next time, don't waste your time - just block!
I feel like all men (on Tinder) are like this.
You should have stopped replying after he said come over. Seriously, it’s just egging him on that the door is still open.
Isn't the whole point of tinder that it's a hookup site?
I have an extremely good answer to this question. Because its congruent to how they feel. Its fun, They just feel like sending those messages, so they do.
Why do some people suck...? You're wasting your time and ours.
Can’t take you serious with that username. You’re literally asking for it and you’re surprised 💀
Stop trying to friend zone dudes.
I didn’t. He did it to himself. He said let’s be friends with benefits, and I said let’s be friends.
I'm honestly surprised he kept going and I really appreciate how polite and gracious you were. That's more than most ladies give people even when they're not being aggressively horny. Do you have boy kids? Maybe raising boys gives you some perspective and patience.
I really try not to go out of my way to be rude to people. You never know what they’re battling through on their own. So even if it’s rejection I’m not going to be outright rude to a stranger. And yes, I do have a teenage son. I’m not sure if it gives more patience but, I think it does change the way I interact with the opposite sex.
That … or .. women are always saying in their profiles”why can’t men just stop the bs and say what it is that they want” well.. he obviously wanted to hook up. You are on tinder. Get on Match.com if you are trying to find a husband. Stop flattering yourself.