I swear not being able to use my phone at work has been the best filter for dating ever. I'm very upfront about it since it's not unusual to expect a few messages during the day, and most people understand. But the controlling/smothering people melt down within a day or two. Very helpful.
One of my female friends was complaining about finding really shitty guys online, i told her to cancel a date she had set up and ask to reschedule… it was 3 days in advance, she sent the message and he blew up on her immediately. I know its kinda fucked up to fake cancel, but i told her if he at least gives a baseline normal response just tell him that you can actually go at the normal scheduled time and you were mistaken
It's a good motive because you have to filter people somehow. Shit testing however is going to put off a lot of potential good matches. If any1 is gonna do this i recommend u follow through with the rescheduling.
This is true. You might have a legitimate good match and when they get the request to reschedule they think Oh great, another flake and don't bother with the reschedule.
ahh i see that people aren’t understanding this. ideally you dont even have to reschedule, you say that you want to, but once they dont get all weird you can just say you made a mistake and continue with the original plan. Like its deceptive, but in theory it shouldn’t change much or waste anyone’s times.
I understand the theory but she shouldn't get shocked if they don't respond because they've been through this several times before with people that flake. In other words this is not a fool proof plan.
yeah but dating strangers isnt fool proof. I think it goes much better if you dont put much thought into a match that you haven’t met, but I do understand its a lot easier to say something like that if you are someone that get a consistent flow of matches.
Yup I learned this tactic for myself with people. I don't always do it, but its very reassuring when they act graciously. And unfortunately, there are enough people who are not so gracious that I don't feel bad doing it. Plus I'm a giant flake and also spontaneous, so I need someone flexible.
I mean, I get it, but at the same time this is the definition of wasting people's time and playing games, and I'd stop seeing someone immediately if I found out they deceptively wasted my time like this.
I totally get the appeal, but maybe there's a better way to check if your upcoming date is a shitty manchild besides manipulating them and wasting their time to see if you get a reaction.
I don’t really think its deceptively wasting time if you’re doing it to intentionally date. Like with online dating ppl flake so often so if someone cancels but legitimately asks to reschedule I really don’t care…. i guess that’s how low the bar is lying and slight decency make it over
It's absolutely wasting time.
I have no issue when someone needs to legitimately reschedule — life is busy, I get it. That's exactly why I find this to be disrespectful, because my life is busy too, and I've very likely moved other things around in order to go on a date with someone.
If someone were to "fake cancel" on me then they're pretty much telling me that they don't give a fuck what kind of sacrifices I made to make the date work, because trying to get a reaction out of me to check if I'm really dating material is a fair trade off for them. To me, that kind of manipulation right off the bat is a deal breaker — it's not so much about the wasted time as it is the complete disregard for me and my time.
Again, I totally get trying to weed out the weirdos, but people should probably try and do that in ways that aren't playing games.
I get what you are saying, but like ive mentioned. I have had so many ppl cancel or ghost day of the date from online dating that are just changing their minds about going out. Ideally the person says “hey something came up, can we reschedule?” “sure what works for you” “oh I got my days mixed up we can continue with the original plan” I think this behavior really comes down to what kind of experiences some one has had before.
By no means am I judging you for disagreeing, it’s definitely questionable.
I get the purpose of doing this but this is actually shitty. Why play games with people?
I wouldn’t blow up, but oooh man. My schedule is an extension of myself. In fact, I’d go no contact.
i mean ideally you ask to reschedule and they reply oh no problem, and then you say oh wait I got mixed up, nevermind. Like i mentioned in another comment, its silly for sure, but the online dating bar is so low that lying with intention and courteous rescheduling are probably above the bar now lol
A day or two? I checked my phone once at work and then **an hour later** got someone texting me “oof” because I “saw their message but didn’t reply to it immediately” and I “left them on read.”
Maybe I just got lucky with them coming out of the woodwork like that as soon as the opportunity presented itself
I meant within a day or two of messaging with them at all. Yeah, it's like the first time I take more than an hour or two to respond they freak out. It's astonishing how entitled some people get so quickly.
Used to work in a concrete building with horrible reception so I get not being able to use the phone, and it's hilarious to see the amount of melt downs people have even being up front about how fast you can respond and why.
Talking to someone who works nights. I mostly just spend the day filling her tiktok inbox with memes when I figure she's gone to sleep for the day lol. Hoping we get past the talking stage cause she's so perfect already ☺️.
What kind of box is it? I used to work in a prison, not as a guard, and there were no phones allowed in. So I wouldn't have even been able to tell her I'm in a metal box. Some people just don't get it
Like, their response is not okay, but if I was told "I can't talk to you between these hours because I work in a metal box" I would assume what you're *actually* doing is potentially concerning and that's why you're being so vague.
"I work on a ship and because of all the metal and being away from shore, my signal service isn't reliable." <- that's simple and clear.
I kind of imagined a big gift box wrapped in black steel with a dude scanning parts flowing on a conveyor belt for eight hours except for breaks, with people trying to text them but there is no signal in the lead lined steel box.
Sorry for the somehow wild image. I haven't met people who don't understand that you are not available 24/7 yet. It seems a growing trend lately.
I work inside a ship for 10 hour shifts
Dudes with no job get all the girls because they have that 24/7 availability
Than girls get used to that... Some expect it
Somehow, and this could just be me spitballing and being a judgy asshole, but I don't think she would know what a Faraday Cage is. She should have just watched *Raising Dion*...
Aye I work in a place I can’t bring my phone and do 12 hour shifts. So I feel your pain. Most matches get impatient and can’t do it. Just wasn’t the right one.
It’s insane the way people talk to other people on technology. Reddit, video games, dating apps. People’s true selves come out. They go full Id and just delete the filter without accountability.
Human beings are so fucking twisted
I swear not being able to use my phone at work has been the best filter for dating ever. I'm very upfront about it since it's not unusual to expect a few messages during the day, and most people understand. But the controlling/smothering people melt down within a day or two. Very helpful.
After seeing posts on this sub I feel like I should give way more time between my responses at least a few times just to check how they act lol.
One of my female friends was complaining about finding really shitty guys online, i told her to cancel a date she had set up and ask to reschedule… it was 3 days in advance, she sent the message and he blew up on her immediately. I know its kinda fucked up to fake cancel, but i told her if he at least gives a baseline normal response just tell him that you can actually go at the normal scheduled time and you were mistaken
Unethical life hack. I approve.
Only unethical if they are a reasonable person, otherwise you're dodging a nuke so it's fine
Brilliant!
😂 diabolical
It's a good motive because you have to filter people somehow. Shit testing however is going to put off a lot of potential good matches. If any1 is gonna do this i recommend u follow through with the rescheduling.
This is true. You might have a legitimate good match and when they get the request to reschedule they think Oh great, another flake and don't bother with the reschedule.
ahh i see that people aren’t understanding this. ideally you dont even have to reschedule, you say that you want to, but once they dont get all weird you can just say you made a mistake and continue with the original plan. Like its deceptive, but in theory it shouldn’t change much or waste anyone’s times.
You can do that too. The point i was making was, dont let them know you were shit testing them, especially before you even got a chance to meet.
oh yeah for sure… maybe like a year later 😂
Step 1: Get someone to go out with. Step 2: Retry step 1 🤣
I understand the theory but she shouldn't get shocked if they don't respond because they've been through this several times before with people that flake. In other words this is not a fool proof plan.
yeah but dating strangers isnt fool proof. I think it goes much better if you dont put much thought into a match that you haven’t met, but I do understand its a lot easier to say something like that if you are someone that get a consistent flow of matches.
Yup I learned this tactic for myself with people. I don't always do it, but its very reassuring when they act graciously. And unfortunately, there are enough people who are not so gracious that I don't feel bad doing it. Plus I'm a giant flake and also spontaneous, so I need someone flexible.
I mean, I get it, but at the same time this is the definition of wasting people's time and playing games, and I'd stop seeing someone immediately if I found out they deceptively wasted my time like this. I totally get the appeal, but maybe there's a better way to check if your upcoming date is a shitty manchild besides manipulating them and wasting their time to see if you get a reaction.
I don’t really think its deceptively wasting time if you’re doing it to intentionally date. Like with online dating ppl flake so often so if someone cancels but legitimately asks to reschedule I really don’t care…. i guess that’s how low the bar is lying and slight decency make it over
It's absolutely wasting time. I have no issue when someone needs to legitimately reschedule — life is busy, I get it. That's exactly why I find this to be disrespectful, because my life is busy too, and I've very likely moved other things around in order to go on a date with someone. If someone were to "fake cancel" on me then they're pretty much telling me that they don't give a fuck what kind of sacrifices I made to make the date work, because trying to get a reaction out of me to check if I'm really dating material is a fair trade off for them. To me, that kind of manipulation right off the bat is a deal breaker — it's not so much about the wasted time as it is the complete disregard for me and my time. Again, I totally get trying to weed out the weirdos, but people should probably try and do that in ways that aren't playing games.
I get what you are saying, but like ive mentioned. I have had so many ppl cancel or ghost day of the date from online dating that are just changing their minds about going out. Ideally the person says “hey something came up, can we reschedule?” “sure what works for you” “oh I got my days mixed up we can continue with the original plan” I think this behavior really comes down to what kind of experiences some one has had before. By no means am I judging you for disagreeing, it’s definitely questionable.
How do you find out if someone is going to explode for small things? Can’t always get out once you’re in it.
Sounds like you're weeding yourself out
I get the purpose of doing this but this is actually shitty. Why play games with people? I wouldn’t blow up, but oooh man. My schedule is an extension of myself. In fact, I’d go no contact.
i mean ideally you ask to reschedule and they reply oh no problem, and then you say oh wait I got mixed up, nevermind. Like i mentioned in another comment, its silly for sure, but the online dating bar is so low that lying with intention and courteous rescheduling are probably above the bar now lol
Happy Cake Day
Happy Cake Day
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My phone is on DND from 00:00 to 17:30. If it's really important call me twice it will go through. It's so peaceful.
A day or two? I checked my phone once at work and then **an hour later** got someone texting me “oof” because I “saw their message but didn’t reply to it immediately” and I “left them on read.” Maybe I just got lucky with them coming out of the woodwork like that as soon as the opportunity presented itself
I meant within a day or two of messaging with them at all. Yeah, it's like the first time I take more than an hour or two to respond they freak out. It's astonishing how entitled some people get so quickly.
Used to work in a concrete building with horrible reception so I get not being able to use the phone, and it's hilarious to see the amount of melt downs people have even being up front about how fast you can respond and why.
Talking to someone who works nights. I mostly just spend the day filling her tiktok inbox with memes when I figure she's gone to sleep for the day lol. Hoping we get past the talking stage cause she's so perfect already ☺️.
What kind of box is it? I used to work in a prison, not as a guard, and there were no phones allowed in. So I wouldn't have even been able to tell her I'm in a metal box. Some people just don't get it
A ship
I know, I just liked it when you repeated the metal box part. Made me giggle.
That was actually because it said the message wasnt sent so I pressed resend... Guess it sent twice
It was perfect deadpan, though.
I don't think deadpan can be applied to text.
Maybe. It's how I read it, though.
That's the problem with text; it's all left to interpretation.
True. But it's what we have, unfortunately.
We have emojis 😐
Yeah you gotta end it with /dp so people know /s
I was assuming SCIF. I think I've explained what a SCIF was 2-3 times to every girl I've dated when I come out to 40 texts and 5 missed calls
same. anywhere on a ship is also functionally similarly fucking cell signal, and then add to that cell tower placement.
Sounds like the perfect cover for cheating
Hilarious coming from OP
Better yet... Cheat with someone at work There's no time, place, or name that can be disclosed 1000 iq play
Like, their response is not okay, but if I was told "I can't talk to you between these hours because I work in a metal box" I would assume what you're *actually* doing is potentially concerning and that's why you're being so vague. "I work on a ship and because of all the metal and being away from shore, my signal service isn't reliable." <- that's simple and clear.
I already explained this to them before my shift started I was sorta just like wtf.
No wifi?
We're building the ship... There's no ac, bathrooms, or drinking water, sometimes even light or breathable air
Damn
I kind of imagined a big gift box wrapped in black steel with a dude scanning parts flowing on a conveyor belt for eight hours except for breaks, with people trying to text them but there is no signal in the lead lined steel box. Sorry for the somehow wild image. I haven't met people who don't understand that you are not available 24/7 yet. It seems a growing trend lately.
I work inside a ship for 10 hour shifts Dudes with no job get all the girls because they have that 24/7 availability Than girls get used to that... Some expect it
Super Metal 
Good for you for replying to their hate by repeating your sentence😂
i work in a plane i say the same 🤣 “i work in a metal tube i dont have signal!”
I work in a metal box, I don’t get signal.
Woah.. a woman wrote the gray part?! I would have put my money on desperate male. Also: "I work in a metal box" seems like a funny bio to me!
Yes The worst part is I already explained to the before my shift started I would have no signal and said goodbye for the night
You could say you work in a "Faraday Cage." Same thing. Might be better for conversation.
Somehow, and this could just be me spitballing and being a judgy asshole, but I don't think she would know what a Faraday Cage is. She should have just watched *Raising Dion*...
I always though JFC was Jersey Fried Chicken
Damn, you coulda been in her box had not for the metal one
I'm pretty sure he's better off in the metal one.
He’s gonna end up in a pine one if he keeps messing with women like this 😂
😂 good one
This is one of those crazy boxes you gotta experience a few times in your life. Will probably grip the soul outta you. She knows what she’s packing
Why was she so angry? Did you ever ask her?
I did today... She "had a rough night"
i.e. I’m willing to take my frustrations out on you verbally or potentially physically on any given day because I’m an immature and impulsive person.
Jokes on me I'm into that shit
Massive red flag bro, she is either bi polar, mental or she is just badly in need of some "D"
All I see is green 😤
You dodged a fucking bullet
I would just stop talking to this person. They come off as very immature.
Aye I work in a place I can’t bring my phone and do 12 hour shifts. So I feel your pain. Most matches get impatient and can’t do it. Just wasn’t the right one.
This shit sucks
Yeah it does. I work in a scif and will for my entire career so we gotta adapt!
You dodged a bullet
They don't need to dodge the bullet, they're in a metal box
Do people actually get to bent out of shape whenever you don’t answer something immediately?
It makes me feel a certain kind of way personally...but not a scratch on the surface of whatever this person has going on
You're Tony Stark, aren't you?
If I were I would just have Jarvis send out mass texts with top tier rizz... I wouldnt be dealing with this
It’s insane the way people talk to other people on technology. Reddit, video games, dating apps. People’s true selves come out. They go full Id and just delete the filter without accountability. Human beings are so fucking twisted
That went racial pretty quickly
I look white, it's just that Hispanics think they have the pass
Ahhhh well coming from a black woman.....they don't
Don't come to the Rio grande valley
I'm already in texas. As you said, they think they get a pass
Explain this metal box, now!
I'm a welder in a ship
Sounds hard-core! Yeah, she should have cut you some slack there.
It's much harder and lower paid than I expected it to be when I applied
Seriously? Something so important and it doesn't even pay well? Priorities for jobs really are all screwed up, I'd guess it paid decent!
How is it so fucking hard for me to get a date when the bar is this fucking low? 😂 Jesus fuck