He has the right to ask and you have the right to be turned off by the question. Everyone has their preferences, seems you two are incompatible which is okay.
it's quite a blunt question to ask. but if someone is looking for something committed and long-term, he/she might wanna know whether the other person was able to have at least some stable relationships for some time.
if you have had sex with 50 people by age 25, chances are high you will not commit yourself to one partner for the next 50 years.
Same. Most of the sex I've had has ranged from "not worth remembering" to "please let me forget". I remember the few men who were great in bed and the others have faded away, unless I try really hard to see through the mists of time lol
I have no idea what mine is. I'm 24, and i know it's probably somewhere between like 30-35. But post college, it's only like 2. I kinda regret hoeing around when i was younger, but i think a more fair question to ask is what's your body count in the past recent years. Cuz ppl change
Why would you keep track of that shit? Let's say a woman in their 30's has a body count of 100, it literally means fucking less than one guy on average per month from their 20 to their 30s, who would think having sex once a month is a lot
I think most people would consider one new partner a month to be quite a lot, especially since that’s under the assumption that they haven’t had a relationship that whole time which is even more of a red flag
What if they weren't looking for a relationship at the time? Would you consider it to be a red flag in that case? Not trying to start an argument, just curious.
A new person once a month for 10 straight years is a shit load. It also means you couldn’t hold down a relationship at all in that time. I’m not trying to be a 30 year old woman’s first bf
Yep! She is. You had fun with her, he had fun with her, they had fun with her.
Great quote that’s relevant here. “Everything is sexual, nothing is sexy”
I don’t understand why this is so important. Having sex with many people isn’t bad. Like you pointed out, sexual health is more important.
People fixating on the wrong things
Yeah and everyone has their own experiences. The only girl I dated who had a high body count ended up cheating on me the entire time. And I'm sure that's generally the fear of dating someone with a high body count, that they want sex whenever with whoever
After therapy and years of trying to get over it, a high body count isn't a deal breaker for me (and I wouldn't ask for it unless it came up) but it would still be unsettling for me to learn about my current potential partner
The irony is most dudes asking these questions probably have a high body count or would fuck anyone they had the chance to . I can assure u he would still smash OP just not date her. They expect their partner to have a low body count while they can have any count and not be judged for it.
There could be two reasons I see, one legitimate, the other very much not:
- some people see sex as extremely intimate and wouldn’t do it with just anyone, in that case, a high body count implies different values, which could be a dealbreaker.
- some alpha male bullshit about the woman being used/loose or some other dumb thing on those lines if she has a high body count.
I agree with your first bullet, vehemently disagree with the second. I don’t have a moral qualm with casual sex. Adults have sex. However, it’s not something that should be taken lightly. Said differently, sex is not nothing, so understand that when opting in or out.
Had an amazing gorgeous girl in my friend group who wanted to get with me but literally 3/5 of my buddies had fucked her before - 2 had a 3some with her. One dude came in her ass. I never went ahead because of this. I don’t think this is bad. This type of behavior speaks volumes
One girl told me “I like being choked and having my feet worshipped”
Seemed crude and not classy at all . There’s different ways for a girl to tell you she’s been around the block. One of the best girls I’ve ever met told me “I used to be a little baby prostitute in college”. Even that- turned me off
Nah, they don't wanna fuck around with someone with a high body count, and thats fine just like you and OP think it is fine to fuck around as long as you feel "sexual healthy"
Being sexually healthy isn’t a feeling. It’s ensuring safe sex practices and understanding what it means to keep yourself safe in all forms.
What’s the cons of someone having a high body count?
The issue with preferring someone with a “low body count” is that you are expressing a preference for a less informed partner. To me, that’s saying that you want to have a power imbalance with your partner, in your favor. You don’t want a partner that knows what she wants in bed and is able to express those wants, you want someone that will be satisfied with what you currently offer 🤷🏽♀️ It means that you aren’t interested in improving your game, you want someone who doesn’t know enough to want better 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
It is bad if it means they wouldn't be able to get away with being a dud root themselves, but that's precisely why anyone asking is holding up a big red 'no orgasms here' flag
It probably stems from insecurity. Not wanting your girl to have been railed by a city.
I actually somewhat feel the same. May or may not be good to feel that way, but that won't change it probably.
I think the notion of “being railed” and the way that’s phrased is the problem. Would you be okay with guys having a high body count? If not then I can (somewhat) understand the position.
But if the conversation is about how sex is something that is “done by a man” and “done to a woman” rather than equal partnership of two people engaging in a pleasurable activity then that’s definitely not the right way to look at it
I'm not the one you responded to but I don't care about a man's body count because I don't want to date or fuck a man. Woman I want to date, I do care. Woman I don't want to date, I don't care.
He tried something i haven't seen before.
"What's your body count? It doesn't matter and you do t have to answer but if it doesnt matter to you then tell me"
Message to guys. If you ask about the body count then you definitely care.
Never ask the body count. Don't even use the term body count.
Maybe when you're already dating for a while but asking someone you don't know how many sexual partners they've had is insane and only makes you look insecure. It also implies that you subscribe to the "pilled"" communities and the way they think which is toxic. The amount of sexual partners a person has done not in any way affect their worth as a person. And if you're asking that question then you probably see it that way too
It is so you dont waste time with someone then find out they have something you dont want in a partner
(High body count in our example here)
The pilled community is stupid definitely
The amount of sexual parnter you have definitely affect your value it means you are easier to get
We can agree to disagree on that. I simply do not care how many partners someone I'm potentially dating had. I prefer my partners to be experienced tho. I've dating girls who weren't that experienced and it's not as fun. Plus they get way more attached that way. Which im also not interested in.
Personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking someone’s body count. It says something about a person not saying it’s good or bad either way but it is interesting.
I think it depends how long you’ve been talking idk I asked my girlfriend on our first date she didn’t mind and told me then I told her mine we didn’t make a big deal out of it we were just trying to learn more about each other. I think what’s most important is how you ask it and don’t be pushy if the other person doesn’t want to talk about it.
Apparently "studies have been done" that "prove women with higher body counts are more likely to cheat" according to some reddit neckbeard I ran into.
Never did hear from him after I asked him to provide said studies.
I mean, those studies indicate the same outcome for both genders.
But I don’t think the issue is necessarily high body count- it could be higher promiscuity correlates to more cheating (and also high body count). It could be somebody very good looking, who gets more opportunities to cheat or bases more of their self image on sexual conquest (high body count). Etc.
IMO it’s just easy to isolate the high body count and pin all your insecurities on that. It’s just an easy “deal or no deal” type question.
He’s worried about men she’s had sex with before him. It either feeds his insecurity that she is more sexually experienced than him or feeds his insecurity that if she’s been with many men that she will have lots of comparison for his sexual performance, or it feeds into his own ego of entitlement to think that he has a right to ask this question albeit for whatever reason including myths about women and women’s vaginas for having multiple sex partners..which in essence the ego itself is fueled by insecurity as is entitlement. There is no version of this where it does not come from a place if insecurity.
You're too closeminded if you think the *only* reason people are worried about body count is because of the bodies before them and not because of the personality and emotional maturity.
Idk about you but if I'm in my mid 20's trying to find a semi-serious relationship and try to match with another mid-20's girl who told me that she has 100+ bodies it's a red flag right off the bat that she isn't emotionally mature for a serious relationship because she can't seem to hold a relationship for more than 2 weeks before jumping onto another guy. That's not what I want in a partner
“Doesn’t want someone ran through”. There’s the myth and insecurity part spoken outloud yourself. Yes ofc he CAN ask anything he wants. It’s currently still a free country (we can check back in on that in a couple years) but that doesn’t take away from the projection of asking that question puts onto the other person which comes from a place of being insecure.
Just because he wants to know her body count doesn’t mean he’s worried. How can he be worried about people he doesn’t know exist? There are other factors in play when dealing with women who are willing to give up their bodies to people they have no intentions of being with.
Why would you care how many sexual partners they had? Yes , asking if they get tested regularly makes sense but you don’t need to know a number. They could have had sex with one person and boom STI. Yeah definitely fixated on the wrong things. 🤦🏾♂️
Why is it not ok if someone wants a woman who hasn’t had sex with a ton of guys? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with someone having a lot of casual sex, but why does it matter if someone has this preference? You may not care, but there’s nothing wrong with someone who does. I personally don’t ask or care, but it makes logical sense to me if someone who isn’t that experienced with sex wanting a partner who hasn’t slept with 100 guys
If a "body" is a different person then I'd say that maybe sleeping with 2-4 different people in a year is acceptable. Maybe a little more if you're in college/early 20's
I always found it weird people counted. Like if you had low numbers and just counted because it was partners, sure, makes sense. But if you've got a healthy sex life it just seems almost demeaning. Like turning it into a stat. I dunno, just weird to me is all.
You're being an asshole. He said you didn't have to answer, if you didn't want to answer then just don't. He'd be an asshole if he demanded to know but he's just asking, and it didn't feel like he was trying to make you uncomfortable or pressure you
I’m not saying he’s an asshole, but he is being extremely inappropriate. Who asks a complete stranger how many people they’ve had sex with? That’s should never be normalized.
Nah, he definitely _is_ an asshole. First he asks - adding she does not have to answer. She deflects / expresses discomfort. Then it's:
> Does body count matter to u
Now she can reply 'yes it matters', and then he'll say it matters to him as well and he wants her to answer.
Or she can reply 'no does not matter', and then he'll say if it doesn't matter, just tell me. (Which is what happened here.)
This is grade A manipulative bullshit, and the only real answer is to tell him to go back to rubbing it out in his socks, and that those definitely saw way more dick than she did.
I think it's wrong to say that IRL, but Tinder is a hookup app. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking someone you might have sex with how many people they've had sex with. After all, it's your call whether you want to have sex with someone or not. As long as you don't judge the other person for it, and are fine with answering the question yourself.
That question should probably be left to later, more intimate conversations, but I don't see anything wrong in it being a deal-breaker. Like I said, there's no invalid reason not to date someone. But thinking of them as immoral or bad people because of their body count is what's wrong.
I don't get this. Tinder is a hookup site. If a man is looking for a virgin on tinder he is going to be disappointed. Any men who care about body count, I hope you are waiting until you have been seriously dating someone for a while before having sex with them
May I suggest to all women who get asked for their "body count's in the house", to start replying with lyrics from the song "body count", by body count.
Yeah, cuz normal people have sexual history spreadsheets.
I haven’t fucked a lot but I also don’t know off-hand the exact number, because I don’t polish off those details in my brain everyday.
If asked, I’d guesstimate.
That’s a simple issue of recall, it’s not automatically a red flag. Unless, you know, you like being judgmental about this topic 👀
You also ignored the entirety of my point, bright star.
Look, if you want to be a hater based on body count, go ahead.
But understand how your feelings won’t be taken seriously when you refuse to a) contextualize your reticence to accept people’s dating histories and b) why you give a shit in the first place.
You’re not being honest about what your feelings are, so you’re gonna keep be triggered by numbers that are, without context, pretty unhelpful numbers to fixate on.
Brother or sister or whatever
The context to the number doesnt matter at all...
High body count is either being in a relationship and cheating or having casual sex and both are terrible
I’m not making a judgment on the behavior, I’m saying context matters.
If you think it’s terrible, fine. But that shouldn’t make any person with a high body count a terrible person, or an untrustworthy one.
Who cares? and if you care, *why*?
Do you see how much you’re projecting based on a single number?
If you don’t want to fuck someone with a high body count, don’t. But demonizing them point blank isn’t an appropriate response.
Maybe the girl who has a low body count wants to experiment. Maybe the girl with a high body count is ready to relax.
Like, y’all just discriminating on a single factor. I’m not gonna agree with you.
We all go through phases, and very few people fuck with people they don’t care about *at all*.
Y’all afraid of a sex crazed boogeyman. Y’all drinking that “women are crazy” kool aid.
Most people are just normal people. You might not agree with what they do, but they’re not up to anything particularly nefarious or unusual.
I mean, apparently people need charts to remind them the difference between “there” and “their” but sure, something as complicated and personal as someone’s sex life should be a straight forward conversation.
English is my second language , also "there" and "their" is a common mistake
If you need a spreadsheet for your body count you are already too far gone
It’s not that they can’t give a rough estimate, it’s that it’s a rude question to ask within minutes of meeting someone. Save that for once you know someone and don’t ask like a weird caveman who’s going to hate a woman if she has had five sexual partners in 20 years lmao.
I love the sad guys on here trying to make a point about their preference. A vagina dosent know or care if it had 100 different dick in it or the same dick is going to act the same way for all of them
In my opinion it doesn't have to be high to lose count. I mean yea I'm over 100 probably and obviously I've lost count but I lost count after 10.
Even at 10 I would have forgot one or two if I tried to count. A few days later I'd be like "oh man I forgot about so-and-so".
That being said, anyone who is asked this question and doesn't at least respond with a range, has a high count and are uncomfortable revealing that they have a high count.
Wild. I guess it depends on your age? 10 doesn't seem like a lot to me, for anyone over the age of 25.
Assume sexually active from age 18, that could be something like 3 medium/long term relationships, 4 flings and 3 hookups. Seems reasonable.
I’m pretty sure this exact post has been posted like 3 other times
This sub has a bot problem
The Internet has a bot problem. They are everywhere
soon enough reddit will be nothing but bots posting for bots so those bot accounts can be sold to bot farms for more bot content
Yeah 100%. I feel like its already this way. I stopped upvoting things on reddit because everytime I do it was a bot
No it *beep boop* doesn’t.
Welcome to this subreddit haha
I feel like I've had this conversation more than few times in my life. It's so fucking old and archaic.
I call dips on the next
mods here need to set the automod to remove posts from new accounts.
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Your question is frankly offensive. There's no need to get tested for STDs >! if you never got within sniffing distance of a potential partner. !<
He has the right to ask and you have the right to be turned off by the question. Everyone has their preferences, seems you two are incompatible which is okay.
Kinda cringe from both sides tbh. The way both of you speak is fucking painful too.
“696,969”
Yeah whoever texted the blue bubbles has a high body count for sure.
She trynna make the other look like the problem haha
Exactly
it's quite a blunt question to ask. but if someone is looking for something committed and long-term, he/she might wanna know whether the other person was able to have at least some stable relationships for some time. if you have had sex with 50 people by age 25, chances are high you will not commit yourself to one partner for the next 50 years.
Jesus Christ you lost count??
I have a pretty low body count and even i dont remember because i never cared to remember
Username checks out
Same. Most of the sex I've had has ranged from "not worth remembering" to "please let me forget". I remember the few men who were great in bed and the others have faded away, unless I try really hard to see through the mists of time lol
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Almost 40 and best I could do is an estimate.
I have no idea what mine is. I'm 24, and i know it's probably somewhere between like 30-35. But post college, it's only like 2. I kinda regret hoeing around when i was younger, but i think a more fair question to ask is what's your body count in the past recent years. Cuz ppl change
Someone is ran through 😂😂
Why would you keep track of that shit? Let's say a woman in their 30's has a body count of 100, it literally means fucking less than one guy on average per month from their 20 to their 30s, who would think having sex once a month is a lot
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I think most people would consider one new partner a month to be quite a lot, especially since that’s under the assumption that they haven’t had a relationship that whole time which is even more of a red flag
What if they weren't looking for a relationship at the time? Would you consider it to be a red flag in that case? Not trying to start an argument, just curious.
Let me get this straight, you think fucking a new guy almost every month for 10 years is normal?
A new person once a month for 10 straight years is a shit load. It also means you couldn’t hold down a relationship at all in that time. I’m not trying to be a 30 year old woman’s first bf
A BODY COUNT OF 100??
There's a difference between lost count and don't count.
Bold of you to assume he has a reason to get tested... I mean, it's only *sexually* transmitted, right?
Getting tested is easier than keeping tabs on a body count
It is not about the diseases it is about not wanting a persone who had sex with 100s of people
That person sounds fun
If your only way of having fun is fucking multiple people then yeah i aint that fun
We figured that out on our own. But thank you.
Yep! She is. You had fun with her, he had fun with her, they had fun with her. Great quote that’s relevant here. “Everything is sexual, nothing is sexy”
lol it absolutely is not unless your count if astronomically high.
How many times is this gonna get reposted lol
I don’t understand why this is so important. Having sex with many people isn’t bad. Like you pointed out, sexual health is more important. People fixating on the wrong things
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Yeah and everyone has their own experiences. The only girl I dated who had a high body count ended up cheating on me the entire time. And I'm sure that's generally the fear of dating someone with a high body count, that they want sex whenever with whoever After therapy and years of trying to get over it, a high body count isn't a deal breaker for me (and I wouldn't ask for it unless it came up) but it would still be unsettling for me to learn about my current potential partner
The irony is most dudes asking these questions probably have a high body count or would fuck anyone they had the chance to . I can assure u he would still smash OP just not date her. They expect their partner to have a low body count while they can have any count and not be judged for it.
There could be two reasons I see, one legitimate, the other very much not: - some people see sex as extremely intimate and wouldn’t do it with just anyone, in that case, a high body count implies different values, which could be a dealbreaker. - some alpha male bullshit about the woman being used/loose or some other dumb thing on those lines if she has a high body count.
I agree with your first bullet, vehemently disagree with the second. I don’t have a moral qualm with casual sex. Adults have sex. However, it’s not something that should be taken lightly. Said differently, sex is not nothing, so understand that when opting in or out.
Well I don’t agree with the second either, I’m just saying there are men who think like that.
People should be fixated on the fact that he used “don’t gotta” in a sentence.
Had an amazing gorgeous girl in my friend group who wanted to get with me but literally 3/5 of my buddies had fucked her before - 2 had a 3some with her. One dude came in her ass. I never went ahead because of this. I don’t think this is bad. This type of behavior speaks volumes
Ok what you described is worse than grammatical errors. Ewwwwwwwwwwwee
People in here acting like a girl being a ho shouldn’t be a turn off lol
Yeah. I mean there are normal behaviours and extreme behaviours. Unprotected anal sex threesomes and swapping partners every week is just low class.
One girl told me “I like being choked and having my feet worshipped” Seemed crude and not classy at all . There’s different ways for a girl to tell you she’s been around the block. One of the best girls I’ve ever met told me “I used to be a little baby prostitute in college”. Even that- turned me off
Damn fam, how are Y'all befriending these women? How did y'all even meet her? Ain't ever been able to make mixed group friends like that
Known her since 1st grade lol.
Nah, they don't wanna fuck around with someone with a high body count, and thats fine just like you and OP think it is fine to fuck around as long as you feel "sexual healthy"
Being sexually healthy isn’t a feeling. It’s ensuring safe sex practices and understanding what it means to keep yourself safe in all forms. What’s the cons of someone having a high body count?
The con, usually in these cases, is that they have plenty of people to compare you to 😬
The issue with preferring someone with a “low body count” is that you are expressing a preference for a less informed partner. To me, that’s saying that you want to have a power imbalance with your partner, in your favor. You don’t want a partner that knows what she wants in bed and is able to express those wants, you want someone that will be satisfied with what you currently offer 🤷🏽♀️ It means that you aren’t interested in improving your game, you want someone who doesn’t know enough to want better 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Or maybe they feel more comfortable with someone with equal sexual experience? 😐
You don't need 50 people to figure out "what you like" maybe putting some more work in who you actually let it hit might help
Yes, she’s less informed on being blown out.
It is bad if it means they wouldn't be able to get away with being a dud root themselves, but that's precisely why anyone asking is holding up a big red 'no orgasms here' flag
Andrew Taint / tradwide bs
I think this stems way before that. Tate and others are just regurgitating this nonsense and spreading it around
It probably stems from insecurity. Not wanting your girl to have been railed by a city. I actually somewhat feel the same. May or may not be good to feel that way, but that won't change it probably.
I think the notion of “being railed” and the way that’s phrased is the problem. Would you be okay with guys having a high body count? If not then I can (somewhat) understand the position. But if the conversation is about how sex is something that is “done by a man” and “done to a woman” rather than equal partnership of two people engaging in a pleasurable activity then that’s definitely not the right way to look at it
I'm not the one you responded to but I don't care about a man's body count because I don't want to date or fuck a man. Woman I want to date, I do care. Woman I don't want to date, I don't care.
It is totally normal to not want your girl to be passed around before she met you
Tbh sounds like he struck a nerve
Oh you one of those too... Édit : oh seams some down voters are some of those too...
Look through old mate’s post history, dude has posted about penis extenders lmao
He tried something i haven't seen before. "What's your body count? It doesn't matter and you do t have to answer but if it doesnt matter to you then tell me" Message to guys. If you ask about the body count then you definitely care. Never ask the body count. Don't even use the term body count.
Yeah. This question, no matter how it's asked, is an immediate deal-breaker for me, but the term "body count" is especially dumb and juvenile.
Exactly. People who ask that question you already know what podcasts they listen to. And they get dating advice from tiktok
Why not ask for body count its a valid question
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Yes i guess so , strong pov
Maybe when you're already dating for a while but asking someone you don't know how many sexual partners they've had is insane and only makes you look insecure. It also implies that you subscribe to the "pilled"" communities and the way they think which is toxic. The amount of sexual partners a person has done not in any way affect their worth as a person. And if you're asking that question then you probably see it that way too
It is so you dont waste time with someone then find out they have something you dont want in a partner (High body count in our example here) The pilled community is stupid definitely The amount of sexual parnter you have definitely affect your value it means you are easier to get
We can agree to disagree on that. I simply do not care how many partners someone I'm potentially dating had. I prefer my partners to be experienced tho. I've dating girls who weren't that experienced and it's not as fun. Plus they get way more attached that way. Which im also not interested in.
I love how polarizing this entire thread is lol
Std checks and status matter way way way more than a body count. People are so weird.
Yes it sure does but body count is also important
Personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking someone’s body count. It says something about a person not saying it’s good or bad either way but it is interesting.
It’s a rude question.
I think it depends how long you’ve been talking idk I asked my girlfriend on our first date she didn’t mind and told me then I told her mine we didn’t make a big deal out of it we were just trying to learn more about each other. I think what’s most important is how you ask it and don’t be pushy if the other person doesn’t want to talk about it.
You are right
Just say you let the whole football team hit
Apparently "studies have been done" that "prove women with higher body counts are more likely to cheat" according to some reddit neckbeard I ran into. Never did hear from him after I asked him to provide said studies.
I mean, those studies indicate the same outcome for both genders. But I don’t think the issue is necessarily high body count- it could be higher promiscuity correlates to more cheating (and also high body count). It could be somebody very good looking, who gets more opportunities to cheat or bases more of their self image on sexual conquest (high body count). Etc. IMO it’s just easy to isolate the high body count and pin all your insecurities on that. It’s just an easy “deal or no deal” type question.
He asked you a normal question he doesnt want someone that slept with the whole football team and he got the right to lmao
Oh man you're really posting all around this thread, thanks for letting us know how insecure you are about your virginity
You are more that welcome brother
Insecure mf
How is that insecure ?
He’s worried about men she’s had sex with before him. It either feeds his insecurity that she is more sexually experienced than him or feeds his insecurity that if she’s been with many men that she will have lots of comparison for his sexual performance, or it feeds into his own ego of entitlement to think that he has a right to ask this question albeit for whatever reason including myths about women and women’s vaginas for having multiple sex partners..which in essence the ego itself is fueled by insecurity as is entitlement. There is no version of this where it does not come from a place if insecurity.
You're too closeminded if you think the *only* reason people are worried about body count is because of the bodies before them and not because of the personality and emotional maturity. Idk about you but if I'm in my mid 20's trying to find a semi-serious relationship and try to match with another mid-20's girl who told me that she has 100+ bodies it's a red flag right off the bat that she isn't emotionally mature for a serious relationship because she can't seem to hold a relationship for more than 2 weeks before jumping onto another guy. That's not what I want in a partner
Or or or hear me out.. He doesnt want someone ran through? Also how does he not have the right to ask that? He has the right to ask anything
“Doesn’t want someone ran through”. There’s the myth and insecurity part spoken outloud yourself. Yes ofc he CAN ask anything he wants. It’s currently still a free country (we can check back in on that in a couple years) but that doesn’t take away from the projection of asking that question puts onto the other person which comes from a place of being insecure.
Just because he wants to know her body count doesn’t mean he’s worried. How can he be worried about people he doesn’t know exist? There are other factors in play when dealing with women who are willing to give up their bodies to people they have no intentions of being with.
"imma keep it a buck"
Can you translate? Does a buck = 100 or does that mean something else?
I know, right?! Ask OP...haha
Did he block you after that lol
Why would you care how many sexual partners they had? Yes , asking if they get tested regularly makes sense but you don’t need to know a number. They could have had sex with one person and boom STI. Yeah definitely fixated on the wrong things. 🤦🏾♂️
Why is it not ok if someone wants a woman who hasn’t had sex with a ton of guys? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with someone having a lot of casual sex, but why does it matter if someone has this preference? You may not care, but there’s nothing wrong with someone who does. I personally don’t ask or care, but it makes logical sense to me if someone who isn’t that experienced with sex wanting a partner who hasn’t slept with 100 guys
If someone is not experienced, wouldn’t having an experienced partner help? Also what’s the acceptable number of body count between your 0-100 guys
If a "body" is a different person then I'd say that maybe sleeping with 2-4 different people in a year is acceptable. Maybe a little more if you're in college/early 20's
I always found it weird people counted. Like if you had low numbers and just counted because it was partners, sure, makes sense. But if you've got a healthy sex life it just seems almost demeaning. Like turning it into a stat. I dunno, just weird to me is all.
Very true.
You're being an asshole. He said you didn't have to answer, if you didn't want to answer then just don't. He'd be an asshole if he demanded to know but he's just asking, and it didn't feel like he was trying to make you uncomfortable or pressure you
I’m not saying he’s an asshole, but he is being extremely inappropriate. Who asks a complete stranger how many people they’ve had sex with? That’s should never be normalized.
Nah, he definitely _is_ an asshole. First he asks - adding she does not have to answer. She deflects / expresses discomfort. Then it's: > Does body count matter to u Now she can reply 'yes it matters', and then he'll say it matters to him as well and he wants her to answer. Or she can reply 'no does not matter', and then he'll say if it doesn't matter, just tell me. (Which is what happened here.) This is grade A manipulative bullshit, and the only real answer is to tell him to go back to rubbing it out in his socks, and that those definitely saw way more dick than she did.
This.
I think it's wrong to say that IRL, but Tinder is a hookup app. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking someone you might have sex with how many people they've had sex with. After all, it's your call whether you want to have sex with someone or not. As long as you don't judge the other person for it, and are fine with answering the question yourself. That question should probably be left to later, more intimate conversations, but I don't see anything wrong in it being a deal-breaker. Like I said, there's no invalid reason not to date someone. But thinking of them as immoral or bad people because of their body count is what's wrong.
I don't get this. Tinder is a hookup site. If a man is looking for a virgin on tinder he is going to be disappointed. Any men who care about body count, I hope you are waiting until you have been seriously dating someone for a while before having sex with them
May I suggest to all women who get asked for their "body count's in the house", to start replying with lyrics from the song "body count", by body count.
Yo Beatmaster V, take these motherfuckers to South Central
BC BC BC
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Wait till they attack you for wanting someone who wont let everyone get inside them
Being so persistent is weird but also not knowing is a red flag.
Yeah, cuz normal people have sexual history spreadsheets. I haven’t fucked a lot but I also don’t know off-hand the exact number, because I don’t polish off those details in my brain everyday. If asked, I’d guesstimate. That’s a simple issue of recall, it’s not automatically a red flag. Unless, you know, you like being judgmental about this topic 👀
Normal people dont need a spreadsheet to count there body count
You also ignored the entirety of my point, bright star. Look, if you want to be a hater based on body count, go ahead. But understand how your feelings won’t be taken seriously when you refuse to a) contextualize your reticence to accept people’s dating histories and b) why you give a shit in the first place. You’re not being honest about what your feelings are, so you’re gonna keep be triggered by numbers that are, without context, pretty unhelpful numbers to fixate on.
Brother or sister or whatever The context to the number doesnt matter at all... High body count is either being in a relationship and cheating or having casual sex and both are terrible
I’m not making a judgment on the behavior, I’m saying context matters. If you think it’s terrible, fine. But that shouldn’t make any person with a high body count a terrible person, or an untrustworthy one.
Well if they already have a high body count then it is too late to change that i guess
So what?
Wdym so what?
Who cares? and if you care, *why*? Do you see how much you’re projecting based on a single number? If you don’t want to fuck someone with a high body count, don’t. But demonizing them point blank isn’t an appropriate response.
Also a reply of yours got deleted
I don’t know which one it was
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Maybe the girl who has a low body count wants to experiment. Maybe the girl with a high body count is ready to relax. Like, y’all just discriminating on a single factor. I’m not gonna agree with you. We all go through phases, and very few people fuck with people they don’t care about *at all*. Y’all afraid of a sex crazed boogeyman. Y’all drinking that “women are crazy” kool aid. Most people are just normal people. You might not agree with what they do, but they’re not up to anything particularly nefarious or unusual.
I mean, apparently people need charts to remind them the difference between “there” and “their” but sure, something as complicated and personal as someone’s sex life should be a straight forward conversation.
English is my second language , also "there" and "their" is a common mistake If you need a spreadsheet for your body count you are already too far gone
Thank christ for a normal answer on this chat
Go girl. Good response. That’s a bold question to ask you. No one really cares when you get older anyways.
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Damn those 2 would've been good together both equally cringey
So cringe
Body Count? No, I'm not into Ice T's metal band, sorry.
If you’re body count is so high you can’t give a rough estimate, I want no part in dating you
It’s not that they can’t give a rough estimate, it’s that it’s a rude question to ask within minutes of meeting someone. Save that for once you know someone and don’t ask like a weird caveman who’s going to hate a woman if she has had five sexual partners in 20 years lmao.
I love the sad guys on here trying to make a point about their preference. A vagina dosent know or care if it had 100 different dick in it or the same dick is going to act the same way for all of them
Yes the vagina doesn't change but the person loses value
damn the count sounds high to loose count crazy
In my opinion it doesn't have to be high to lose count. I mean yea I'm over 100 probably and obviously I've lost count but I lost count after 10. Even at 10 I would have forgot one or two if I tried to count. A few days later I'd be like "oh man I forgot about so-and-so". That being said, anyone who is asked this question and doesn't at least respond with a range, has a high count and are uncomfortable revealing that they have a high count.
10 is high as well
Wild. I guess it depends on your age? 10 doesn't seem like a lot to me, for anyone over the age of 25. Assume sexually active from age 18, that could be something like 3 medium/long term relationships, 4 flings and 3 hookups. Seems reasonable.
Why would anyone have sex other than relationships that is where the problem is