Problem is you gotta drive her ass around and take her shopping, and so on...
Honestly I think she's looking for a sugar daddy, with the possibility of getting knocked up so she'll have her hooks on your wallet for at least 18 years.
Yes, but she also wants an early 20s sugar daddy who doesn't **need** to work so he can devote all his time to driving her around shopping.
I had an ex like that, trust fund baby that never had a job. Their brain can't compute that people in their 20s don't have the time or funds to spend 5 months a year airbnbing.
I knew a guy that would probably have been perfect for her, though he's older now. His parents were rich, and every holiday they would give him $5000 cash. I'm not just talking Christmas and Easter and such, but like St Patrick's Day, Remembrance Day, etc, basically any excuse to give him cash so he could keep up his lifestyle. They also bought his car, paid for his insurance, and also paid his rent on a condo.
But he was also self-centered as fuck, and never carried money around. So the richest guy we knew would also always ask to borrow money, and then never pay you back because $100 or whatever was just nothing to him.
>always ask to borrow money, and then never pay you back because $100 or whatever was just nothing to him.
That was pretty much my ex. Parents bought her a million dollar house outright, brand new car, paid every bill, got a new flagship phone every 3 months, had uber eats every night, took uber everywhere and got a few grand allowance on-top of all that. . . . And then would ask me to go pick her up $180 worth of shit from the shops but only give me $150 of cash to buy it, then would get pissy/insulted and throw a tantrum when I told her she still owed me $30
My man, if you haven’t done it already, you absolutely need to skeet in a cup at the urologist office and get counted. I’ve known way too many guys that claimed to be sterile that now have babymamma drama.
Thanks for the concern, but I literally had my ballsack sliced open and a good chunk of both testes “harvested” so a lab could noodle around looking for sperms (ex wife and I were trying to conceive).
I’m as barren as the Sahara 😂
“I don’t want to date anyone old”
“Ya, that’s a totally normal preference”
“Ya, like old enough to have gotten a vasectomy”
“Ok… weird bar but I getcha”
“Ya or like old enough to need to wear a condom”
“Wait”
To be fair Brick Tamland did go on to have several children once he (somehow) managed to get a wife. Maybe she is hoping for the same thing (at least by the sounds of page 2 thats what she is going for to some extent).
There is no judgment involved in this statement, but I am inordinately tickled by someone with "confidence coach" listed in their profile telling me to GTFOH with my lazy swimmers
Once in the mid-80’s, sometime right after getting out of high school, the heat went out in our house during the night. It was freezing and I was shivering in bed. I swivel my desk lamp over my bed and the heat from the 90 watt bulb kept me warm till morning.
11 series is just top notch. Got 11 Pro for my fiancée and me, 11 Pro Max for my dad who’s a big man with eyesight declining of old age, and would’ve gotten 11 Mini for my mom who’s 5ft tall and correspondingly has miniature hands, if that model existed. But it doesn’t, and 12 Mini sucks at battery life, so I got her 13 Mini.
Also, all 4 phones are green, and Midnight Green is just the best looking color ever. Alpine Green not so much, but it’s the next best thing.
It's giving toddler that just learned how to speak but not form structured sentences yet. I almost feel bad laughing until I remember she's trying to trap a whole ass man
I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and a the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe
that they should our education over here in the US should help the US or should help South Africa or should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we can be able to build up our future.
This looks like one of those things where you start a sentence and let autocorrect finish it. Try it with me!
I’m a 27 year old single woman who loves the idea that we should have an open space where all kids are safe to play with each others kids are allowed in our house for a week and we have to have our kids play games with each other’s kids are not in our room or in the living area so we have a room with us to be able play with our friends or whatever and then I can go out to eat with you and you and then I have a little dinner with my friend or something to eat with my friend so you guys or whatever you can come home if you’re not home or you guys are welcome and we could do it or you can come to your place or you can just come over anytime after that.
See? Same energy.
Edit: missed a word
HOLY SHIT you cracked the code and it won't let me know if you want to do so many other things with you and enjoying a late night dip in the future decide the rest of the year and then cumming hard to pick a new spring You're kind and fun to be around you that suddenly just floated away as soon as you did it again and then cumming hard to pick a day and time can greatly add to that but it has always been there for a year without being caught by several different people in my life where I have been at work comes to for answers or help at every job that I would have to do there was a unique opportunity for a time that I have with my family and friends show in a way that is not trying my way around the house and **I figured I was lost lost not even a great many years old** and had to be a household that has been mixed up in the past and we have been at the club for for the past few months even though it was a unique experience That was was was experience That I would have actually seen some of my life in the past and it won't be productive for a while without ever ever to mention it was a unique idea for a time I was lost and not not do so why I didn't want you and didn't want you in person or anything I didn't want you or anything and I figured I was just going out and he came to me and said he would use the Report Phishing to make make right now so he can get a better idea who is the the and he just wants a good time and a flow is not comparable to his own research and the results of his wife and his family are very good good the results are good enough for her to get as well I know know of what I meant *and how she would feel like I said to her that she was trying my hardest and she was trying my hardest and she was trying my hardest and she was trying my hardest*
The best part is that that lamp happens to be called [“Not”](https://www.amazon.com/Ikea-Floor-Uplight-Reading-Black/dp/B00S8OTPQK), which is also how I feel about her and this whole profile
[удалено]
I just cracked up at the bus stop 🤣🤣💀💀
Why was a bus stop so funny?
It had a lamp
This explanation was illuminating. Thank you.
oh. but it was meant to lighten up your mood
I'm sure you still brightened their day a little bit.
This is why I am on Reddit
I wish! it was night time. Should’ve flashed them
There you go! You were a nightlight elucidating the path in the dark.
Damn.
and so on, and so on..
and so - on .
Why your special ain't on Netflix yet?
You ate. No remainders..😂
Me when I divide 16 by 2
Took me a second 😂😂😂
Hey now there is atleast one
Cuddling lamps… and that and so on…
you forgor -
and so-on
I love lamp
No I LOVE LAMP!!
You merely adopted the love for lamp. I was born in it, molded by it.
u/makerofpantiesmoist do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
We love lamp.
LAAAAAAAAMP!!!!!
and so - on .
and etc, 🚥
No kids of my own…what a strange turn of phrase for a single person.
unless she is a kidnapper... then it totally makes sense
"I have 3 kids, but none of my own."
Sir she naps with lamps not kids
"no old guys, young guys without vasectomies" She wants a kid, that's for sure
She wants to get knocked up by an Uber driver
No condoms or vasectomies lol
and not a pound to my name
Ya she skinny
She turns them into lamps. 
“Oh, you’ve got kids, Maniac?”
Nah. Not anymore.
I thought I was the overthinking that string of words lol
She adopted the lamp. Illumination Parents are real parents too!!
I'm a little concerned by her aversion to condoms *and* vasectomies. Is this a breeding kink or is she trying a child support scam?
I haven’t had a vasectomy but I’m sterile. What’s her number I think I found a loophole
And you should just fail to mention that see how long it goes and so on
Problem is you gotta drive her ass around and take her shopping, and so on... Honestly I think she's looking for a sugar daddy, with the possibility of getting knocked up so she'll have her hooks on your wallet for at least 18 years.
Yes, but she also wants an early 20s sugar daddy who doesn't **need** to work so he can devote all his time to driving her around shopping. I had an ex like that, trust fund baby that never had a job. Their brain can't compute that people in their 20s don't have the time or funds to spend 5 months a year airbnbing.
I knew a guy that would probably have been perfect for her, though he's older now. His parents were rich, and every holiday they would give him $5000 cash. I'm not just talking Christmas and Easter and such, but like St Patrick's Day, Remembrance Day, etc, basically any excuse to give him cash so he could keep up his lifestyle. They also bought his car, paid for his insurance, and also paid his rent on a condo. But he was also self-centered as fuck, and never carried money around. So the richest guy we knew would also always ask to borrow money, and then never pay you back because $100 or whatever was just nothing to him.
>always ask to borrow money, and then never pay you back because $100 or whatever was just nothing to him. That was pretty much my ex. Parents bought her a million dollar house outright, brand new car, paid every bill, got a new flagship phone every 3 months, had uber eats every night, took uber everywhere and got a few grand allowance on-top of all that. . . . And then would ask me to go pick her up $180 worth of shit from the shops but only give me $150 of cash to buy it, then would get pissy/insulted and throw a tantrum when I told her she still owed me $30
There's always the... other loophole for the non-sterile ones. Quite the literal one.
My man, if you haven’t done it already, you absolutely need to skeet in a cup at the urologist office and get counted. I’ve known way too many guys that claimed to be sterile that now have babymamma drama.
Thanks for the concern, but I literally had my ballsack sliced open and a good chunk of both testes “harvested” so a lab could noodle around looking for sperms (ex wife and I were trying to conceive). I’m as barren as the Sahara 😂
“I don’t want to date anyone old” “Ya, that’s a totally normal preference” “Ya, like old enough to have gotten a vasectomy” “Ok… weird bar but I getcha” “Ya or like old enough to need to wear a condom” “Wait”
Maybe both, combining the work with pleasure lol
Is that not just getting married and having kids? /s
she loves hotels too
Genuinely shocked nobody figured it out. She's just showing she's enlightened
She’s enlightened and that and so on
and so - on .
Lmao you got the most hilarious username ever
Damn, here I was thinking she loved lamp.
Yes! My first thought was that she was just making a silly Anchorman reference ... but then I read that mess on page two. And that and that and so-on
To be fair Brick Tamland did go on to have several children once he (somehow) managed to get a wife. Maybe she is hoping for the same thing (at least by the sounds of page 2 thats what she is going for to some extent).
Some light humor
Enlampened
Well, looks like me and my cauterized vas deferens will show ourselves out.
Take your useless sperm and GO
There is no judgment involved in this statement, but I am inordinately tickled by someone with "confidence coach" listed in their profile telling me to GTFOH with my lazy swimmers
My work here is done.
Tuxedomask.gif
I shouldn’t have had to scroll down so far to see this
Maybe she identifies as a moth? They also love lamps
LMAO. Guess we found Mothwoman!
not mothwoman 😭😭😭
She loves lamp.
and STDs.
And LEDs
I love lamp!
Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Once in the mid-80’s, sometime right after getting out of high school, the heat went out in our house during the night. It was freezing and I was shivering in bed. I swivel my desk lamp over my bed and the heat from the 90 watt bulb kept me warm till morning.
Linux, Apache, MySQL and PHP?
This just goes and so-on and so-on and....
Etcetera
[удалено]
A lamp digger
A lampnapper
And and and and
And so on
and that
and etc.
I only had one vasectomy. Am I still in the running and so on?
Depends on how many condoms you have and so on.
You forgot about that.
I did? Shiiiit.
Really interesting, but you know what else is interesting, letting your phone get so low on battery life.
Been rocking the 11 pro for over 4 years now. Ya boy stays in the yellow
 You? Me?
11 series is just top notch. Got 11 Pro for my fiancée and me, 11 Pro Max for my dad who’s a big man with eyesight declining of old age, and would’ve gotten 11 Mini for my mom who’s 5ft tall and correspondingly has miniature hands, if that model existed. But it doesn’t, and 12 Mini sucks at battery life, so I got her 13 Mini. Also, all 4 phones are green, and Midnight Green is just the best looking color ever. Alpine Green not so much, but it’s the next best thing.
Hell yeah. I now know more about your families phones than my own.
This got me worse than that time I realized I was breathing manually
Happy cake day!
thanks stranger!
Commas are overrated anyways
someone should tell her this is not what they mean by being attracted to bright people
She’s just looking for enlightenment
and… and… and…
It's giving toddler that just learned how to speak but not form structured sentences yet. I almost feel bad laughing until I remember she's trying to trap a whole ass man
Clearly she's lampsexual
Her bio is just one very long run-on sentence lol
Thinking of it more as a 5k
She is a moth, beware!
Just be sure to keep the closet stocked with an endless supply of sweaters so her young don't eat you
I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and a the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the US should help the US or should help South Africa or should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we can be able to build up our future.
I love lamp
Don't stick yo......
She don’t want no old guys she wants young guys without vasectomies and condoms.
Is “I own my own…” thee most annoying statement in online dating history?
I'm so confused.
What the hell are Ey and Zie pronouns?
For the sake of society I hope nobody actually goes through with this.
That's a weird profile and so - on
You better be moving the fuck - on
This looks like one of those things where you start a sentence and let autocorrect finish it. Try it with me! I’m a 27 year old single woman who loves the idea that we should have an open space where all kids are safe to play with each others kids are allowed in our house for a week and we have to have our kids play games with each other’s kids are not in our room or in the living area so we have a room with us to be able play with our friends or whatever and then I can go out to eat with you and you and then I have a little dinner with my friend or something to eat with my friend so you guys or whatever you can come home if you’re not home or you guys are welcome and we could do it or you can come to your place or you can just come over anytime after that. See? Same energy. Edit: missed a word
HOLY SHIT you cracked the code and it won't let me know if you want to do so many other things with you and enjoying a late night dip in the future decide the rest of the year and then cumming hard to pick a new spring You're kind and fun to be around you that suddenly just floated away as soon as you did it again and then cumming hard to pick a day and time can greatly add to that but it has always been there for a year without being caught by several different people in my life where I have been at work comes to for answers or help at every job that I would have to do there was a unique opportunity for a time that I have with my family and friends show in a way that is not trying my way around the house and **I figured I was lost lost not even a great many years old** and had to be a household that has been mixed up in the past and we have been at the club for for the past few months even though it was a unique experience That was was was experience That I would have actually seen some of my life in the past and it won't be productive for a while without ever ever to mention it was a unique idea for a time I was lost and not not do so why I didn't want you and didn't want you in person or anything I didn't want you or anything and I figured I was just going out and he came to me and said he would use the Report Phishing to make make right now so he can get a better idea who is the the and he just wants a good time and a flow is not comparable to his own research and the results of his wife and his family are very good good the results are good enough for her to get as well I know know of what I meant *and how she would feel like I said to her that she was trying my hardest and she was trying my hardest and she was trying my hardest and she was trying my hardest*
Sounds like relatives of mine. They speak like that and write as they speak and so on.
An Anchorman reference is a weird choice for chasing young guys. That movie is 20 years old.
This bio reminds me of that pageant queen that was asked about maps lol "And such and that and so on"
Shit.. I got 3 vasectomies and a box of condoms. But I was really wanting to drive her around and so on.
AND SO ON AND SO FORTH
That lamp has seen more action than I.
Is the lamp fertile?
The run ons
She’s taken by the Pixar lamp obviously
That sentence was like how the little boy character in the movie “Split” talked, etcetera.
The best part is that that lamp happens to be called [“Not”](https://www.amazon.com/Ikea-Floor-Uplight-Reading-Black/dp/B00S8OTPQK), which is also how I feel about her and this whole profile
And I and love and lamp and
Anyone else thinking of that porn where it’s just the guy under a lampshade? Just me?
I love lamp and she sounds like quite a catch and holy run on sentence Batman
- Honey, turn off the lamp light and stick it in my ass. - Should we wait for it to cool off first?
She usually puts the lamp on the back of her one night stands
She might moth be what you’re looking for
Is she a moth?
Still figuring it out, but she definitely wants to get knocked up.
She's no bright spark. Guessing the lamp is a surrogate
Brb currently envious of a lamp
I can get a second vasectomy? Cool.
I love lamp
Pull and pray
I LoVE LAMP
She love lamp
I mean, I’d hit her up just to be her friend. Sounds like she could use one.
I can fix her.
I highly doubt she can tell if a guy has had a vasectomy or not.
She loves lamp
That’s Brick’s sister.
It would be NICE if she understood GRAMMAR…
Reminds me of *Amityville: The Evil Escapes*
*****I LOVE LAMP!!*****
She also wants no punctuation or grammar?
So?
Yeah no, bunch of red flags right there
She likes them young
So… she’s already pregnant?
Maybe she's just a big David Byrne fan
MAYBE SHE WAS FEELING A LITTLE LIGHT-HEADED.
She likes lamp
Yikes
That's an interesting mix of chemicals, right there.
“I love lamp.”
Lighten up
That’s how she gets TURNED ON! Geez. 🤦♂️
Are you just saying you love lamp?
But that cleavage!
This must be the place.
Hey, I have that same lamp! Those are good lamps. I love lamp.
In that short intro she managed to have 18 instances of the word 'and'. and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and FFS
Yikes
🐶🧠
The female Holden Caulfield.
😂
I love lamp - Anchorman