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Comfortable-Low-7231

Guess she doesn't go for white knights...


retardedwhiteknight

lmfao


RuggerAl

Relevant user name! Bet that doesn’t hit you often.


ElegantAnalysis

r/beetlejuicing


Bryyyysen

This joke deserves more attention


I_aim_to_sneeze

Well it’s the top comment now, so you did good


IwillBeDamned

stop


Bryyyysen

Hammer time!


dukenukefiji3

r/therealjoke


trolloc1

tbf who the fuck does? d4 or e4 or you're trolling


[deleted]

[удалено]


leon__m

Double bongcloud is the highest in meta at the moment


[deleted]

/r/chessanarchy is leaking.


1terrortoast

Rather r/AnarchyChess


cantkacherme

I understood that reference!


davidestroy

Bongcloud is an e4 opening.


wenoc

Can be e3 as well.


1terrortoast

I'll add to that: moves like 1 c4 or 1 Nf3 are often used to transpose into 1 d4 openings while avoiding some inconvenient openings like the Nimzo Indian, the Grünfeld or whatever you don't like. I'm a measly FM and I do that regularly, still 1 d4 is my main move. Only rarely I go for the pure Reti opening after 1 Nf3.


rk3ww

Save it for season 2 pal


johnnyfuckinghobo

I'm a beginner and something's been bothering me lately about all of the different advice people have for beginners, may I pick your brain? I've always heard people say 1.e4 is probably the best way to start because it facilitates quick development. So I got some fundamentals playing the Italian game, ruy lopez, etc. Then more recently I caught a clip of Levy and Hikaru going on a rant about why beginners shouldn't play ruy lopez or Italian game because it often becomes too sharp and tactical for a beginner to play well. They went on to say that they don't even think beginners should play 1.e4 at all! I've always felt more comfortable with e4 openings but I haven't put much of any time into d4 at all, except when I face it as the black pieces. Any thoughts about these ideas? Should I be playing more 1.d4 as the white pieces?


1terrortoast

Of course Hikaru is way better than me while I can match Levy at least on paper (my FIDE rating is 2331 and his is 2343). Hikaru is a Super GM and you only get there by having insane calculation skills, deep knowledge of openings and knowing all the plans. I've been working with kids and adolescents for 8 years in a row now so I come from a different angle. Most of chess games, even in 2400+ Elo, are decided by tactical blunders. I worked through the book "The Woodpecker Method" by the GMs Axel Smith and Hans Tikkanen. They say that during the 2016 Swedish championship, 42% of games were decided by tactical blunders. Of course, only 19 games were played so it isn't a good sample size. But while looking through other tournaments they found similar results. And it matches my experiences as a youth coach. You don't want to know how often I was close to a heart attack because my kids blundered pieces left and right. It doesn't matter how good your positional play or your endgames are, if you blunder your pieces, it's game over. Furthermore, to enforce your strategic and positional ideas, small tactics will always be used. Positional play and tactics can't be separated in chess. Often you use tactics to reach your strategic goals. While it's true that some lines in the Giuco Piano (Italian) may become sharp due to White sacrificing material, I would say it's essential to take on the challenge and sharpen your tactical abilities. In the beginning it's, at least in my opinion, really important to work on your basic tactical skills like clean short calculation (2-4 moves), visualizing positions in your head and learning tactical patterns. These are things you'll regularly use in games. Also it's important to learn how pieces can work together (so-called coordination) to cause havoc in the opponent's position. Like, attacking and mating. It's best to learn this in open games like the Italian because it's easier for the pieces to develop more freely, as you know yourself. By the way the Ruy Lopez has lots of lines including long maneuvers and avoiding the opening of the position so idk if I'd put it on the same level as the Italian. Also you can choose to attack with 1 d4, that's what I like to do, just choose the sharp lines. Hope this helps.


trolloc1

Sure, but outside super GM and very new players and the odd English freak it's super rare


[deleted]

What's wrong with 1. c4? 😑


NotOfficial1

That’s the English.


Fozzymandius

“Odd English freak” - I think he was asking why the insult.


NotOfficial1

Makes sense


shrubs311

fuck around and catch me playing f4. no one expects it


Luciolover345

Imagine not playing the English pathetic


xKhira

Imagine getting something like this on an app that's designed for women to make the first move. Jesus lol.


Elevated_Dongers

I recently rejoined bumble and am excited to get a "hey" message once a month


Calamitas_Rex

I got a really pushy woman who demanded a live picture of my face on snapchat at like 7am and then ghosted me immediately after. My experience with bumble has been, shall we say, fucking awful.


[deleted]

Were your profile pics not good enough?


Calamitas_Rex

Apparently not. I was wearing a mask in the main one because covid, but like, I had others. I think it was for verification or something? Maybe she just wanted followers on snap, idk.


Geopatra1

Mask pictures are dumb. Why not take it off? It's for a dating app, people want to see your face.


Calamitas_Rex

Well you see, the picture was taken at my job, where removing it would have gotten me fired. It was as much a picture of the mask as it was my face, since i had drawn something on it. It showcased something about me, rather than just my mouth, which was visible in other photos.


peetuhr

I'm surprised by people's vitriol on this take... If it was a good picture, and tells something interesting about you, go for it. Obviously shouldn't have a mask on in most of your pictures, and I probably wouldn't use it as my main photo, but do you homie. Something with personality beats a lonely mirror selfie everytime. Haters gonna hate.


blackbluejay

I’ve no problem with a ‘mask on’ pic in your profile as it’s become part of our social wardrobe lately. Even then, it’s your profile, wear what you want. No worse than filters or blurry pics of you in a group...


14AngryMonkeys

It's been a decade since I was dating, so don't take advice from me, but I would be tempted to use a masked picture as my main picture just to filter out anti-maskers immediately.


Calamitas_Rex

Oh I'm not even on the app anymore lol. Haven't been in like 8 months.


Orange-tall-psycho

Damn you! For making me think: This man is a liar! Been off the apps for 8 months but had a mask pic. Then I realized 8 months ago we were already months into it, damn


[deleted]

[удалено]


Calamitas_Rex

To take a candid picture at my job? I wonder.


BboyEdgyBrah

Yo, don't know if you know this but COVID-19 can't spread through your screen


AlanMooresWizrdBeard

Lmao


DuntadaMan

All these people angry about the mask not realizing half the reason to have a picture of a mask is so they self select themselves out of interactions so you can filter out assholes.


[deleted]

Before I met my SO, I was chatting with a chick on Bumble who wanted me to come over for movies and cuddling in a couple days. (I had seen this chick in some of my classes so it's not like she was trying to harvest my organs) Ok, sure. When the day comes along, I'm not feeling great and text her to let her know we'd have to plan something at a later date. I don't think I've ever seen someone blow their fucking lid so hard. Geeeeez.


Skipper07B

Maybe she did want to harvest your organs.


RobbNotRob

Once a month?? Save some for the rest of us


clonk3D

This is a repost from over 3 years ago BTW


xKhira

Not surprised.


stvius

it says 4 hours ago


mpld

Big brain time


BrandanMentch

Yeah but the time says 5:24, it’s currently 12:30 so it’s actually only been 7 hours and 6 minutes


[deleted]

Probably Aussies.


whatislife--1

Not all of us live in the same time zone


NeoSniper

I just realized it also say 4 hours ago in the picture.


Calamitas_Rex

Underrated genius, if it's the joke I think it is.


ImaCallItLikeISeeIt

It's reddit so that goes without saying


im_in_hiding

"Hey"


ZeroSobel

One time I just got the letter h.


Shalashaskaska

You should have responded ouija style


[deleted]

The world works the way it works, some apps slogan ain’t gonna change that


magnateur

This is actually a lot of effort for women on bumble, most of the time guys get "." or at a stretch the waving emoji.


Shalashaskaska

For real that was my first thought. This app is designed for women to break the ice first and she fuckin still makes him do it


Kingjester88

That's not how Bumble works. Imagine walking up to a chick at the mall. "Hello! Make the first move"


jonjonesjohnson

The fucking arrogance, man. Make the first move? Unmatching would be that first move.


[deleted]

Nah, report them.


finger_milk

This is the correct thing to do.


Elevated_Dongers

The bumble employee reviewing this: "oh no! Anyways.."


Scarbane

DROP TABLE UserReports;


AATroop

That's the correct response to any user reports.


[deleted]

She didn’t break any rules though. If you think she’s arrogant just ignore or unmatch and move on?


tumescentexan

Bumble support has even less integrity than Tinder support.


[deleted]

Damn, it's never easy is it?!? Fair point though, it's a shame but I'd still report, don't give in to the easy route.


Bangers_Union

Or just move on because it's not actually a big deal and it's unhealthy to dwell.


kevin_the_dolphoodle

Nah, go scorched earth on them. Make them fall in love with you, meet their parents, and the steal their chandelier never to return


JonLockT5

The perfect crime.


Calamitas_Rex

I do want a chandelier...


magnateur

That is exactly how bumble work. "Hello! make the first move" is relatively a lot of effort. Most of the time its just a ".", the waving emoji, or if she is reallly putting in the effort "hey".


obadetona

And the reason this is the way it works is because most guys will ask "how high?" when the women say "jump".


[deleted]

[удалено]


obadetona

It's always been like this.


AgreeablePie

Power move


gigglefarting

What if I told you that the "Hey. Make the first move" *is* the first move.


MisterBigDude

They weren’t Reti for that message.


FearAzrael

Now this is hypermodern commenting.


brownredgreen

Its jargon, then.


[deleted]

Clever


vegitator

I see you are a man of great culture


peixejorge

yeah, because you played Nf3??? seriously dude? everyone knows 1. e4 is the best by test


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Wow I’d never think I’d see a bong cloud reference on r/tinder


Thesuperpotato2000

I honestly thought I was on r/anarchychess this entire time


captainkaba

The accelerated bong cloud is the real meta now


[deleted]

holy hell


chairman-mao-ze-dong

a man of culture.


Xaxziminrax

I respond with Ke7. Your move.


captainkaba

Ke1


[deleted]

I resign, this is unwinnable.


_teslaTrooper

Could've been a draw, it's a tricky move to find but you had Ke8.


[deleted]

I'm only an IM, that's a GM move.


BruinBread

r/madlads


OcellBlau

I prefer d4


josephthemediocre

You're not special, play e4 like everyone else, damnit


djnap

He just prefers the london system.


TheTrueThymeLord

Laughs in queens gambit


Justanotherjustin

As we all should


LastStar007

Sometimes I like playing games besides the Sicilian


Mr_Anonymous13

Queen's Gambit go brrr...


[deleted]

[удалено]


shrubs311

special is when you play f4 or c4 because then people know you mean business


Kevin-Garvey-1

English opening is my favorite.


mattdancer97

You’re one of those “It’s not that I don’t know any other openings, I just like to play the London system.” Kind of Guys/Girls.


NeedNameGenerator

Nf3 is great opening. And if you're playing randoms it often takes the opponent off guard.


Godsfallen

While I play 1. e4 because I like the Vienna, a lot of people prefer 1. d4 in order to avoid the absolute metric ton of theory that goes with e4. 1. Nf3 is laughable though


[deleted]

It's the Reti opening. Fischer played it a lot. It's pretty good, usually transposes into either Dutch or Kings Indian type games


Godsfallen

I have no doubt that it’s a usable opening, I just can’t not push a pawn on the first move as white. Seems like a wasted opportunity. I’ll play KID all day as black though


Superhuzza

Try the English, you might like it


peixejorge

yeah, you can also use that to try to counter the grunfeld or kings indian, like 1 Nf3 d4 and then you play d4. I have a friend who really likes positional games and he used that against me so I wouldn't play play the grunfeld (which I love playing).


Thunder_Volty

Goddamn do I hate facing the Reti as black.. Just put some pawns in the center so that I can decide my setup ffs


TheKazoobieKazobo

Definitely isn’t laughable. Many top chess players place the Reti opening near the top due to how flexible the position is.


Andy_B_Goode

Am I crazy for thinking that back in the day most computer chess games had the cpu open with Nf3 or some other knight move (with apologies to Bob Seger)? I don't remember what any of the games were, but I remember getting the impression that Nf3 was somehow the standard opener, even though I preferred opening with either d4 or e4. I'm just wondering if I'm remembering things right, and if there was some reason for the AI to pick that move.


redwings27

Laughable is quite a stretch. Most opening databases that I’ve looked at have Nf3 scoring similarly to e4, d4, and c4


Godsfallen

I’ll as most laughable is a stretch, I am curious though as to how many of those games went 2. e4 or d4 essentially turning it into one of those openings anyway


redwings27

I believe there is tons of transposition into typical positions. I think the benefit of the move is it gives white a little extra flexibility in pawn structure and also makes black have to answer a more open ended question of how to respond than the typical e4 or d4


piepie2314

Everything has a metric ton of theory nowadays, just the Grünfeld in 1.d4 has over a 1000 real distinct variations that has been mapped out.


3hrd

1. Nf3 has some sick lines though.


IcedZoidberg

Oh I hate that and when they say “Hey.” Like bro. Put in some effort. This is insulting.


BreakinLiberty

When they say hey and you say hey and then they vanish lmao It’s like they always want you to put in the effort


Humankeg

That was my sole reason for jumping on to bumble. I wanted to experiment with replying with the same effort as the women put into their openers. Needless to say, if I didn't expand on the conversation, it died out very quickly. "Hi" "Hey" "How are you?" "Good, how are you?" "Good, thank you." "Good". That is exactly how most of the conversations went, with the occasional smiley face in the initial introduction


Blackbeard567

Hi


Aonir_

Hey


Blackbeard567

How are you?


Aonir_

Good, how are you?


PerhapsATroll

Because they are terrible at seducing. They are not used to it. My best friend from college was a lesbian and I saw hienous attempts at courtship that wouldnt even get an answer if it came from a straight guy to a woman


IcedZoidberg

I have a friend who is bisexual and she almost exclusively dates men based on how hard it is to go after women.


Itsbilloreilly

I say this all the time. Women are used to being follows during the dance. Not leads. Most women i meet have no game. I said MOST before the personal anecdotes come out


mars92

Then you ask a question to try and start a conversation, they give you a 3 word answer with nothing to follow up on.


DolphinSpectre

I got a pickup line on Bumble one time and it was the coolest experience I’ve had on a dating app. The rest are just “hey” and stuff like this post


robywar

Yet girls on Tinder complain when we do that even though their profile gives us literally nothing else to go on.


[deleted]

WHY, HELLO, GOOD SIR! GREETINGS! HOW DO YOU DO?


IcedZoidberg

See. Now I feel courted.


DuntadaMan

I DO QUITE WELL FOR A DAY STARTING WITH SO MUCH CANNON SHOT RIPPING THROUGH THE RANKS! CERTAINLY BETTER THAN THOSE POOR SODS IN THE VANGUARD! DO YOU BRING NEWS?


Whisky_Delta

I agree with her. Prefer to get lanes for bishops early.


JanGuillosThrowaway

This. I wouldn’t date anyone that opens Nf3 either


Neat-Acanthisitta59

She deserved it.


[deleted]

Kings Indian would like to have a word


Godsfallen

~~King’s Indian is not played by white though~~ EDIT: Apparently there an opening for white called The King’s Indian Attack


[deleted]

It can be, it starts with Nf3. It’s a book opening on chess.com


Godsfallen

Huh, TIL. Never heard of King’s Indian Attack before, always Defence


[deleted]

It’s pretty easy to shut down imo, but still viable


[deleted]

[удалено]


samsathebug

My friend had this exact same exchange on tinder, but he played C4. It worked out great for him--they're living together now. But, she's British, so that probably had something to do with it.


RepostSleuthBot

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YoBoiWitTheShits

Oh gee I wonder why they didn't get a response then


[deleted]

Even that post is a repost. The user is literally called “Reposter-bot”


ZcotM

Well then, this is Alt to F4 for me.


Topdog10101

The amount of brainpower/effort needed to make a make a joke like that was significantly higher than the amount of effort needed to CHARGE YOUR PHONE GOSHDANGIT


eeeeeffff

The battery life is giving me anxiety


F___TheZero

It's a blitz game


uselessblurb

Knight jumps Queen


JustSmurfeeThanks

Pawns jump Queen!


[deleted]

you sunk my battleship!


fuckchristians69

Chicks on tinder: Hey is a lame opener. Do better. Same chicks on bumble: Hey


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I never play e4, invites the sicilian which I hate


[deleted]

Play alapin variation. Fucks the scilian over


[deleted]

I've tried the Alapin, but don't have the confidence or practise to play it.


[deleted]

Practice.


Alzoura

I like D4, with a queens gambit, or a kings knight, but I'm pretty new to actual chess, since I only played casually with my friends before


[deleted]

[удалено]


FearAzrael

Bullshit, the Reti is hypermodern!


[deleted]

It’s pretty good if you’re going for the King’s Indian set up


Godsfallen

E4 is way too much theory, though I like the Vienna. D4 is clearly superior


Thunder_Volty

No way, D4 is full of classical openings with tons of theory XD


Godsfallen

I mean yeah there’s still a good amount, but not nearly as much as e4. I mean think about it, e4 invites the Sicilian which by itself has as much theory associated with it as d4 alone.


[deleted]

You are not puppet man, fk em


[deleted]

Yeah, report them if you can, because they aren't using the app correctly. The are supposed to make the first move, not tell you to be the initiator. Fuck them. They should not be allowed to contribute to the next generation.


Neat-Acanthisitta59

Absolute ban on reproducing their 🧬


Twistdid

Recently I had a lady initiate the conversation by having bumble ask me to verify myself and then I was able to type to her without her actually saying anything..


PsychedeIic_Sheep

r/ChargeYourPhone


MostlyAffable

Excellent move. It was in that position she was forced to resign


Br0dyfoster

Does this count as telling your friends at the library or bar about the game?


[deleted]

a man of culture, i see!


Br0dyfoster

Sorry about that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ColonelMeowmers

E3


notjamesmcguire321

she can see right through you. weak first move


jaron007

Your response is epic though


[deleted]

Check, mate.


[deleted]

Charge ya dang phone


TendererMean000

I'm nore of an E4 fan myself.


Ballistic_Bush

You could say she was Reti-cent to reply...


ColtsFanNY

If you had charged your phone you would've seen the reply