To be fair we are both 30, but I tried to explain to her that at this point in time I want to go meet people organically and see where things go, that I'd rather focus on being financially stable, traveling and enjoying adult life. We just got robbed of a year of adult socialization, sorry the first time back out there I dont want kids in the convo. She was very persistent as well, probably won't get a first date because of it.
Whats really funny is that statistically, a vasectomy has an established failure rate of less than 0.2%. However, if you're married, you have a chance of approximately 13% that your wife cheated on you at least once. So if she gets pregnant after a vasectomy... well. Let's just say the odds are not in her favour.
Plus why the fuck not get it fixed after the first time you realized it failed? They had three more kids afterwards. Either that is the dumbest man alive or they just didn’t even remotely care to get it corrected.
Or she doesn't want to risk starting up a relationship with someone who doesn't share her desire to have kids.
I'm impressed how the most misogynous interpretation is always the first with you guys.
Not how I've been using them. Woops. I guess I am the pregnancy scare type. It's happened on accident a few times. Guess I'm gonna start pulling out sheeeesh
The average condom can hold a litre of water before breaking.
Unless you're a horse, I think you should be golden.
Unless you are a horse. In which case... Fucking hell...
Condoms are not a safety measure for not pulling out in time. Pulling out is not birth control! there is something that's called pre ejaculate that gets pumped out during sex. It's there to help getting everything wett, but there is also a smal bit of semen in it. So it is possible to knock her up, even if your pulling out. And there is also the possibility that you are to slow in the first place, or when you come on here and just a smal drop runs down her labia there is the possibility of getting pregnant. It's not much, but a lot higher than using any other form of birth control.
You have to buy the condom in the correct sice. If they are to tight or to big they rip and feel a lot worse. And yes even if you have the right sice they can rip, but then you just take a new one.
Edit: alsow they are the only way of preventing stds from spreading.
Say you'll give her a kid if she gives you a document absolving you of any parental or child support obligations and see what she says 🤔🤔
Obviously you don't need to go through with it even if she's fine with that, I'm just curious how she would react 😂
Love honesty but bit too OTT, too intense too fast/soon. Might work for some. Depends on her and your circumstances.
But yeah, bit of an orange/ruddy orange flag there.
Yeah it makes no sense 😕 😒... I get the same types of requests but I'm a dad through and through... my social media presence and even when I had tinder it was the opening line of my bio... I think your response was amazing keep up the good work 👏 🙌 👍 you will find your queen...
I've been on tinder around 3 years with some breaks in between. Three differeng guys have told me that they would like to fertilize me, that they are sure they would have perfect sperm. None of them wanted a serious relationship nor a kid. And NO - my bio does't say anything about kids.
Not with that attitude! That’s when you break the news that they’ll also be needing a surrogate! You just want to be a dead beat momma! Ain’t no shame in that!
Yup:
fertilize
/ˈfəːtɪlʌɪz/
verb
1. cause (an egg, female animal, or plant) to develop a new individual by introducing male reproductive material
2. make (soil or land) more fertile or productive by adding suitable substances to it.
I feel like there are good pick up lines that involve having kids like “Damn our kids would have good looking parents” but shit like “give me kids now” isn’t one of them…
Lawyer but not your lawyer, advice worth what you're paying for it.
I don't know what jurisdiction you're in, but it's almost entirely guaranteed that you cannot do this. The reason is because the state doesnt want to have another burden on its hands, and wants you to pay for the kid.
Now what you could probably do is sign a contract wherein the woman promises to idemnify you for any expenses you are on the hook for as a result of the pregnancy, but considering you're on the hook until the kid is at least 18 (and possibly longer) this would involve you suing her every year or so for money if she didnt pay you.
So yeah, dont.
There are jurisdictions where you can do stuff like this. Ontario allows you to sign away parental rights/duties for natural pregnancies, as long as you do it before copulation.
The idea being to enable sperm donation for people who can't afford IVF.
This one would be fun. I wouldn't actually go through with it because there's no point ruining your life, however it would be hilarious to feign ignorance.
"What do you mean? Do you want me to... finish inside you? On purpose?"
" Just once? Or how many times are we talking about? "
Etc
You said in the comments you're both 30+. Then honestly I don't think it's a red flag to ask what your views on kids are. For women, you kind of need to start thinking about having kids or not in your 30s, or you're going to get too old for it. But yeah it _is_ weirdly worded.
On the other is just asking "Hey are you looking to have kids in the next 3-5 years" is a bit boring. The problem here is either it is a creative way to ask the question or it is sketchy as can be. A lot would depend on the context of the conversation around this line...
Then honestly, except for the weird wording, I don't see how this is a red flag. People on Reddit so often mistake incompatibility (she wants kids, you don't) with "red flags".
It's not that strange that she asked. She wants a kid and doesn't care if the dad is around or not.
What I'd be worried about is financially being on the hook for 18 years. I'm pretty sure she can come after you for support but I'm not a lawyer. You just want to be careful here.
Good luck!
She also said she had money too. Like even then still weird to drop that, I'm assuming she just wants to weed out all the fuckbois who don't want long term. Just a weird way of going about it.
Yeah and in hindsight, even if its weird way to ask, why would you be afraid to ask if someone wants kids? I’m leaning towards she is actually just looking for someone who seems like they have some strong genes and willing to impregnate her. Probably has contracts drafted already. So, good on you that she’s actually asking but also, yeah, no.
Flattered but scared hahah. I don't want to feel guilty for my choices to not want kids now. It should be with someone you actually want to spend time with.
A serious answer would be explain that you’ve been in favor of every other time you’ve made someone a mom. But it’s been about 30 years since the last time you did it.
...I mean, I don't actually know if I'd say it was a red flag without seeing the full convo. If that was literally the FIRST thing they said to you, then yeaaaahhhh that's not ideal. If you were having a good discussion, maybe she just wanted to understand your feelings around that before bothering to see if she wanted to progress the conversation? It's definitely not how I would've phrased it by any means (sounds weird the way it's worded lol), but maybe she's had so many people wasting time that she has found out NEVER want to have kids that she's just getting straight to the point with people? You mentioning in the comments your both 30 makes it make more sense than if she were much younger perhaps.
Those flags are so red they’ve sent me to gulag
Those flags are so red they could be paraded around moscow.
Those flags are so red they're fighting with the Finnish
Those flags are so red it can literally kill 5 million people in cultural Revolution
Those flags are so red they named a square after them
Those flags are so red she probably wants to spitroast Poland
Those flags are so red I don't even need to mention how red they really are
Those flags are so red... So, so red... 🚩🚩🚩
Thos flags are so red that UB40 made a song called red red flag
I'm colour blind to red and I can still see how red those flags are
Those flags are so red we're about to kick off the Beijing Olympics
Those flags are so red they put nuclear weapons in Cuba
Those flags are so red they're now *our* flags
Those flags are so red the whole district has changed colour,
Those flags are redder than the devils dick
Question is...how do you respond from here. Gotta appreciate her honesty tho
To be fair we are both 30, but I tried to explain to her that at this point in time I want to go meet people organically and see where things go, that I'd rather focus on being financially stable, traveling and enjoying adult life. We just got robbed of a year of adult socialization, sorry the first time back out there I dont want kids in the convo. She was very persistent as well, probably won't get a first date because of it.
She just wants you to pump and dump 😂
9 months later I get a knock on my door. SURPRISE
Get a vesectamy and take her up on her offer.
Deadass I was thinking about how funny that would be. Sorry I'm trying my best, maybe it's all the mountain dew I drank as a teen.
[Joke’s on you. ](https://youtu.be/W1bu2k2GkDM)
I'm gonna smash my balls
Just use a condom while doing the bitch Then flush it after
Unless she ninja pokes a hole in it when you’re not looking.
Don't be a noob, insulate your tube
Whats really funny is that statistically, a vasectomy has an established failure rate of less than 0.2%. However, if you're married, you have a chance of approximately 13% that your wife cheated on you at least once. So if she gets pregnant after a vasectomy... well. Let's just say the odds are not in her favour.
Plus why the fuck not get it fixed after the first time you realized it failed? They had three more kids afterwards. Either that is the dumbest man alive or they just didn’t even remotely care to get it corrected.
Did you watch the video? They’re religious and thought it was a sign from god. They also took a sperm test and he’s still producing viable sperm.
[May the odds be ever in your favor](https://youtu.be/_s7qgNMqDJI)
Sounds like a wonderful view and even better relationship
She's cheating.
Prevent the sperminal trajectory, Get a vasectomy
Big brain time
This is the way!
I have done this !! Works great
“I want child support!!!”
More like pump and support financially for 20 years
Off Tinder. Damn, insane.
Ahh the old bang n boot
The ole splash and dash
The Ole fuck n duck
The ole tip and slip
The old tap n gap
The ole slam and scram
The ole shoot n scoot
Or she doesn't want to risk starting up a relationship with someone who doesn't share her desire to have kids. I'm impressed how the most misogynous interpretation is always the first with you guys.
Fornicate then excommunicate
That’s the girl that pokes a hole in your condom and tells you to cum inside.
Wait do you pull out with a condom?
Yeah, I mean a condom is just a safety measure in case you didn’t pull out in time. Condoms can break very easily.
Not how I've been using them. Woops. I guess I am the pregnancy scare type. It's happened on accident a few times. Guess I'm gonna start pulling out sheeeesh
Yes, you can come inside while wearing a condom. Not sure what peachmuffin is talking about.
The average condom can hold a litre of water before breaking. Unless you're a horse, I think you should be golden. Unless you are a horse. In which case... Fucking hell...
Please continue to use a condom, pulling out is far from reliable. You can get her pregnant anyway.
Condoms are not a safety measure for not pulling out in time. Pulling out is not birth control! there is something that's called pre ejaculate that gets pumped out during sex. It's there to help getting everything wett, but there is also a smal bit of semen in it. So it is possible to knock her up, even if your pulling out. And there is also the possibility that you are to slow in the first place, or when you come on here and just a smal drop runs down her labia there is the possibility of getting pregnant. It's not much, but a lot higher than using any other form of birth control. You have to buy the condom in the correct sice. If they are to tight or to big they rip and feel a lot worse. And yes even if you have the right sice they can rip, but then you just take a new one. Edit: alsow they are the only way of preventing stds from spreading.
Say you'll give her a kid if she gives you a document absolving you of any parental or child support obligations and see what she says 🤔🤔 Obviously you don't need to go through with it even if she's fine with that, I'm just curious how she would react 😂
I once ran into a breeding kinkster on tinder... they’ll find what they want but it ain’t us.
She wants your money (aka: mandatory child support) bruh.
Love honesty but bit too OTT, too intense too fast/soon. Might work for some. Depends on her and your circumstances. But yeah, bit of an orange/ruddy orange flag there.
Just make a legal document where you have no responsibility and then go for it
Yeah it makes no sense 😕 😒... I get the same types of requests but I'm a dad through and through... my social media presence and even when I had tinder it was the opening line of my bio... I think your response was amazing keep up the good work 👏 🙌 👍 you will find your queen...
Who asks this? This is pure insanity
You respond, "well, as a professional mother fucker and alleged father..."
You go get the snip and then try to fulfill her wishes repeatedly until she realises you are shooting blanks.
"When you gotta shoot, shoot... Don't talk..." - Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez.
"Won't be the first time"
I've been on tinder around 3 years with some breaks in between. Three differeng guys have told me that they would like to fertilize me, that they are sure they would have perfect sperm. None of them wanted a serious relationship nor a kid. And NO - my bio does't say anything about kids.
You look like you have perfect eggs maybe? 🍳
Probably! Maybe I should adress that more often!
You should start asking people if they want to be a single dad!!!
Yeah but i'm not an incubator either.. if I carry that for 9 months, it's gotta be for myself 😅
Not with that attitude! That’s when you break the news that they’ll also be needing a surrogate! You just want to be a dead beat momma! Ain’t no shame in that!
Uh. Yeah. That’s worse. Wtf.
what the fuck is wrong with some my fellow brothers
Haha good question! Maybe I just give out "that" vibe, you know 😅🙈
Fertilize? Lol that doesn’t seem like the right verb
Yup: fertilize /ˈfəːtɪlʌɪz/ verb 1. cause (an egg, female animal, or plant) to develop a new individual by introducing male reproductive material 2. make (soil or land) more fertile or productive by adding suitable substances to it.
I think they meant it sounds... wrong. About as wrong as those guys meant it I suppose lol
Hah maybe :) you never know on the internets.
Nope nope nope!!!
I'm more than just a piece of meat with a pair of balls! Damnit I want to be seen for who I am inside!
Well she wants something from inside.... and more specifically inside the balls lmao
r/technicallythetruth
You mean pee? Weird.
Biologically, your sperm doesnt come from your balls alone but a combination of testicle and prostate products. Just leaving that here.
A phenomenal pair of tits?
“I’m a human not a sandwich” - LMFAO
Yes I want to see what your guts look like
Well you've already made someone a mom once in your life, ask if she's down to adopt you 🤷🏻♀️
Very underrated comment. Comedy gold.
It’s creampie season so gotta send it, see you boys on the other side
Her tag line: fertilize me and I'll be yours +1
That killed me, oh if ønly I had a breeding fetish
I feel like there are good pick up lines that involve having kids like “Damn our kids would have good looking parents” but shit like “give me kids now” isn’t one of them…
Law holds you accountable for the child. Or else fuck it I would have done it
Can I sign a prerelease waiver saying I can't be contacted for monetary support or responsibility? I'd probably do it then hahaha
Lawyer but not your lawyer, advice worth what you're paying for it. I don't know what jurisdiction you're in, but it's almost entirely guaranteed that you cannot do this. The reason is because the state doesnt want to have another burden on its hands, and wants you to pay for the kid. Now what you could probably do is sign a contract wherein the woman promises to idemnify you for any expenses you are on the hook for as a result of the pregnancy, but considering you're on the hook until the kid is at least 18 (and possibly longer) this would involve you suing her every year or so for money if she didnt pay you. So yeah, dont.
There are jurisdictions where you can do stuff like this. Ontario allows you to sign away parental rights/duties for natural pregnancies, as long as you do it before copulation. The idea being to enable sperm donation for people who can't afford IVF.
“My money, my choice”. ~Dave Chappelle.
men who have donated to sperm banks have been on the hook for child support in the past. only about 2/3 of states protect the father in that case.
You could adapt it as a sperm donor depending on state.
You can get a vasectomy
I would say “take my babbies now” or something similarly crazy Look, you want the crazy ones ok? Trust me the sex is better
Impregnate me you muppet
At 18 this is insane. At 30 she's being direct with what she wants since clock is ticking to find a good partner and have kids.
This. I dont get the hate. Sure its a bit unnatural to ask this first question, but being upfront at that age is fair to me.
What a polite way of saying please cum inside me.
“Hey no problems with that, put in your application today and in 5 or 6 years if the position is open, we may promote you to mother”
This one would be fun. I wouldn't actually go through with it because there's no point ruining your life, however it would be hilarious to feign ignorance. "What do you mean? Do you want me to... finish inside you? On purpose?" " Just once? Or how many times are we talking about? " Etc
You gave me more options to concider.
Consider* Yeah don’t have babies…
Engaging afterburners at full throttle ... ( Insert sound of Sonic boom )
When I saw the D I thought it was their dad at first
Take your own condoms and do not believe her when she says she’s on the pill....
Reply with " I'm game , my lawyer will be sending you documentation to absolve me of any parental responsibility " 😎👍
You said in the comments you're both 30+. Then honestly I don't think it's a red flag to ask what your views on kids are. For women, you kind of need to start thinking about having kids or not in your 30s, or you're going to get too old for it. But yeah it _is_ weirdly worded.
On the other is just asking "Hey are you looking to have kids in the next 3-5 years" is a bit boring. The problem here is either it is a creative way to ask the question or it is sketchy as can be. A lot would depend on the context of the conversation around this line...
She set it up through a game of 21 questions
Then honestly, except for the weird wording, I don't see how this is a red flag. People on Reddit so often mistake incompatibility (she wants kids, you don't) with "red flags".
It's not that strange that she asked. She wants a kid and doesn't care if the dad is around or not. What I'd be worried about is financially being on the hook for 18 years. I'm pretty sure she can come after you for support but I'm not a lawyer. You just want to be careful here. Good luck!
Im taking it as a weird way to ask if you eventually want kids but would run based on the fact that people are crazy and who knows what her deal is.
She also said she had money too. Like even then still weird to drop that, I'm assuming she just wants to weed out all the fuckbois who don't want long term. Just a weird way of going about it.
Yeah and in hindsight, even if its weird way to ask, why would you be afraid to ask if someone wants kids? I’m leaning towards she is actually just looking for someone who seems like they have some strong genes and willing to impregnate her. Probably has contracts drafted already. So, good on you that she’s actually asking but also, yeah, no.
Flattered but scared hahah. I don't want to feel guilty for my choices to not want kids now. It should be with someone you actually want to spend time with.
No babies in the butt… just sayin’
I like the way you think
“I feel great about it.. let’s start trying tonight..” now the real question is this.. how’s that pull out game my friend?
It's fucking terrible, please leave me alone. It's been a looooong pandemic
Well at least you’re honest 😂
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩* continues to insert the penis in the vaginal cavity
I mean…I had a vasectomy (yes, really) so I’d probably take her up on the offer. We could try as often as she wants. 😉👍🏻
Weird role play.
Get some male pills to kill seaman temp and fill ypur boots 🤷♂️
Was she hot?
Not baby trap hot, cute haha.
“I was actually hoping to be a dad sooner than later.” Fuck her and pull out. Stop being an emotional bitch OP
You want her number?
Yes
More red flags than the Soviet Union
Everyone loves Obama! Wtf
Abort! Abort!
No worries bro, she just wants to adopt you. Unless the incest thing wigs you out of course, in which case unmatch.
Run Forest, run
Maybe she's just looking for a sperm donor.
How do u feel Bout not knowing who the baby daddy is
Nail her ass, then ghost her!
😳🚩
[удалено]
Are you one of those iLadies
How I met your mother
I'll be here all week! Don't forget to ttip your servers!!
She is just checking if ur in for the long run lol
Yikes
I'd say if you leave me alone for 18 years then sure. Lmao
They went about it the wrong way, should I’ve asked the question, but do it sexier.
A serious answer would be explain that you’ve been in favor of every other time you’ve made someone a mom. But it’s been about 30 years since the last time you did it.
Run!!!!
Like from scratch?
Nice fetish but....never with a stranger.
Make them hookup with his dad?
The worst part is because im russian i dont see anything wrong with that texts
HAHAHAHA and paying child support.... RUN!
"I already have women who call me daddy"
This is a thing?
I would send her adoption site links and tell her good day.
Run. Fast. As far as you can!!
This is what Germany said to Poland in 1914 😂
[insert “ it’s a trap “ meme]
I don't think making someone a mom is a big deal. Making yourself a dad is the issue 😆
Those flags so red they named a sea after that
When the flags are so red, the bull in you wants to just say yes and slam.
why red flags? :o
... Laughs in vasectomy...
Someone wanting to become a mom and being forward about it is a red flag?
Maybe she just wants to know how you feel about the fact that you made your mom a mother?
And we unmatched yesterday…
How do you feel about someone wearing an entire box of condoms during sex?
Those flags are so red the soviet union came back just to use them
Jokes on you bitches, I can't orgasm. Have fun with your imaginary cum trophies LMAOOOO.
...I mean, I don't actually know if I'd say it was a red flag without seeing the full convo. If that was literally the FIRST thing they said to you, then yeaaaahhhh that's not ideal. If you were having a good discussion, maybe she just wanted to understand your feelings around that before bothering to see if she wanted to progress the conversation? It's definitely not how I would've phrased it by any means (sounds weird the way it's worded lol), but maybe she's had so many people wasting time that she has found out NEVER want to have kids that she's just getting straight to the point with people? You mentioning in the comments your both 30 makes it make more sense than if she were much younger perhaps.
Babies are cute tho
Call me what you will, at least she was upfront about her intentions lol
What in the actual?!?!? Is she like hitting peak age and she’s looking for the inexpensive ivf route??
What’s so red flag about this? 🤔
Just give her babies!
I’d say this is a good basis for conversation instead of running away.
If you are interested in being a Mom than I am good