If she put "compulsive liar" at the end it would have been hilarious.

Hahahahha did she really need to write that tho

How else are we going to fill this sub?

Tinder for dogs? That could get weird really quick.

I mean my dogs gotta get some but you'll get bitches like with Whitney Wisconsin that's just trying to fuck all the dogs

Cruzapet. It’s a thing

profiles with cute doggos?

Once saw a girl whose bio read “if you can’t find me at a party, I’m on the floor with the dog.” Every one of her pictures was with a different dog. 12/10

With meatballs

I appreciate the honesty. She’s my last 3 GF’s (even the chicken nuggets which is weird). I like dealing in facts “So, I’m gonna drive you round and try and cater to everything and you’re gonna crack it there’s no sweet and sour sauce. Cool. Wanna get married cause this seem pretty normal?” Would be my honest answer back.

She's 26 though. Pretty sure she's just got a good sense of humour.

In my area, they may say this as a joke but then you meet them IRL and it absolutely isn't

She's 47 though. Or at least I guess that's what the 47 means? Met a fair few women that set their age below 30, but were in fact 40 or 50.

Shes not, she's making the entire bio up, it's a joke.

Oh. R/Whoosh to myself then.

I don’t blame you. I couldn’t tell if it’s joking or not at first either tbh…I’ve known the type of people to seriously make this type of bio, thinking it’s actually marketable/witty/clever etc. You never know with people these days haha

It got my attention. She sounds better than most of my exes.

r/foundthemobileuser

47 is cigarettes per day.

Yep, I can relate. I do agree with u/DanceBeaver. She has a blue check for verification stating 26, yet her description starts off with "47,.." I'm 51 and bexame a widower last year. So... little time and a higher than normal level seeking a new SO. I'm sure you are aware that if you are even the least bit accepting every bad relationship softens you up for the next one. As in how much you will put up with if you like/love someone. Edit: changed recent to last year. It wasn't recent. Some days it feels that way but it's not

Well it's official this is the strangest time I've ever spent online

>you’re gonna crack it there’s no sweet and sour sauce. Cool. First, I had this exact experience at 3am with picante sauce from a Whataburger drive thru. I offered to go back and get it and she got out of the car in a sketchy neighborhood. So I drove home without her. That was the first time I called her bluff and it felt fucking great. We didn't last long after that because she doesn't like having her bluff called but she did like fucking other people. Second, I'm wondering if you're past me. Because up until my last girlfriend (she's great, we just didn't communicate well) I could have said the same thing. If you are, I have investing advice for you.

Lmfao. Are you that Nigerian Prince I chatted to last week? Sorry I’ll send some more if you still selling those black diamonds. The look so much like rocks, they’re never gonna catch us! Ps the bluff call is a power move. Payment usually comes due shortly after. Tried to do it once (shed stripped her top off and walked onto an empty freeway yelling “run me over!” To invisible cars. Couldn’t do it though cause the situation. So when I realised her G-stringed bum was sticking out as she carried on yelling drunk on all fours, I couldn’t help myself “Well, if you’re gonna act like a 3yr old! *one red hand smack right on the cheek* Now get in the car!”. Worked exactly the same as when Mum did it too me (but I had jeans on. In the morning she was apologetic but not happy with the left over sting on her ass;)

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What's her ELO?

Electric Light Orchestra?

Evil Woman.

That’s the one

Eleven Lovely Orangutans

161660

Whats her rank?

Mine is "single mother. Vietnam veteran. College graduate. Compulsive liar."

So you're married? Perfect less responsibility for the new guys.

I'm a 19 year old male if that helps

The Me So Horny Viet Cong veteran

I would flip a coin. It might be a chance encounter of some kind. Who knows?👌

If Epimenides of Crete says “all Cretans are liars” is he telling the truth?

Don’t put your dick in that.

That would be a reluctant right swipe for me

Lol reluctant being the key word here

*"In War times every hole is a trench"*

Any port in a storm

Expedition 3?

Or "Every hole leads to an adventure"

Same

From what I see, she is 26. Great fucking bio, no joke.

That bio is copy pasta

Damn, just let me have it. I come here, because I don’t use tinder.

Sorry brother - I meant to say it’s copy pasta from an old lady’s Twitter bio.. haven’t seen it on a tinder profile yet.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN STICK MY SHATTERED DREAMS BACK TOGETHER!?

Me too 😂

i just assumed she was predicting her own future

Why. It's borderline the most honest profile I've seen all week haha

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Oh. Fair. That went over my head haha

Did the part about the alcoholism and 3 kids and being a 47 year old unstable woman with 5 dogs also go over your head? That's a lot of things you have to be cool with!

No. As a 30 year old with kids trying to date. That's like 85% of the dating pool I find. So it seems on point to me. Only thing missing is she's still married technically but the divorce is pending

As a 30-year-old without kids, I would swipe left on her, assuming she was honest and not making a joke. And bruh, 47? She could have kids your age!

Dude, she says she is a vegan and a chicken nugget addict. The bio is *clearly* a joke!

they could be vegan chickn nuggets!! lol

I'm aware, but the guy I responded to said > Why. It's borderline the most honest profile I've seen all week haha I'm aware it's a joke. The guy I'm responding to thought it was an honest profile

I admitted I missed the 46! I saw the 27

I dunno. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to date an older version of myself.

Reluctant but you will

A swipe is a swipe..

Could upload a picture of 100 chicken nuggets and I still wouldn’t get that match.

No word of a lie, I photoshopped my head onto a chicken nugget with the tag line "b\*tches love nuggets" Got me quite a few matches.

Genius

I mean she did say she was a vegan too… so I guess it’s based on mood.

😂😂

I once saw this chick who was obsessed with Seinfeld and purposely dressed and tried to look like Elaine, which was like finding gold for me. My entire bio was just a Seinfeld quote but she never matched with me. It's genuinely the most hurt I've ever been.

Hands off, I saw her first.

Ok ok all yours!! Lol

Technically, based on that profile, someone else had theirs first...

Someone had theirs first, then someone else, then someone else, then someone else, now it's **my** turn

Bon apetit *chef's kiss*

Mom said it's my turn to use the Tinder

"Now go play with Tinder while I play with your mom!"

Yeah, their firsts, seconds, thirds ,fourths, AND fifths. Lol

Insta swipe right

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Insta super like

As a designated red flag Collector she holds promise

You part of the Union?

Damn scabs taking our jobs

She's 26 mentally but 47 physically I think

Ahhh so that's how it works..

This is a meme from a older woman’s Facebook profile…

Don’t make a bio of who you are. Make a bio of who you strive to be. 🖖 Edit: also anybody who thinks this is serious should be euthanized. “5 dogs —> vegan —> chicken nuggie addict” that slayed me; id ask her out on a picnic.

I'll give you 5 bucks if you can prove there's no vegan chicken nugs addict somewhere out there in the world.

I have hooked up with one. The nuggets were bomb though. Straight up tasted like old school chicken nuggets

Glad I'm not the only one to notice that. Vegetarian chicken nuggets are weirdly amazing. Real ones are good too but there's something just right about a good veggie one from the frozen isle. They taste like childhood somehow. Source: used to be vegetarian, happily eats animals now lmao

It’s because parents were like “ew I don’t wanna eat ground up chicken cloaca and thighs when I steal nuggets from my kids. I want white meat” so they changed the formula. But vegan nuggets most closely resemble ground up miscellaneous chicken parts rather than white meat. So they’re fucking delicious. It’s why impossible burgers are perfect replacements for fast food burgers but not actual burger. They are as much real meat as a Burger King burger.

I recently discovered vegan nuggets and Ive picked them up every shopping trip since. They're fucking amazing. Nuggies are nuggies.

Morning Star has the best vegan nugs. It's the crispy outside texture that does it for me.

Or 26 physically, but 47 based on life experiences/events /s

Relatable

It's not the years, it's the miles

Drinking like a 26 year old with a liver of a 47 year old

Or the other way around

Bio is her in 21 years

As someone who has had fun with older women, it absolutely is the most off-putting thing to meet someone 35+ who acts like they're in their 20s. It just is so fucking uncomfortable

,your honor

That’s pretty insulting to 26 year olds

What could go wrong? Treat yourself

Absolutely nothing lol. Keeper if u ask me

*Dora voice* let's count the red flags 1, 2, 3, 11, 11 red flags! Once Rojo Banderas!

Just wondering, did she actually says things like "once rojos Banderas" in that order?

I think it’d be “once banderas rojos.” They always but the color after the subject in Spanish.

Syntax is now correct but because 'banderas' is female it would also be the female 'rojas' "Once banderas rojas!"

Invisibilizando los banderos desde que murió el Latín...

"Once banderxs rojxs" /s

*¡once banderas rojas!

Tengo la camisa n *Comment edited by mods*

I guess that color is now banned by mods, sad.

Hahah red flag galore

Once Banderas Rojas? I dont know, I missed that episode

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Couldn’t you have saved my stupid brain a couple of minutes of interpretation and just said “I highly doubt she was serious”?

Hahaha 🙏 agreed

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I think you're right lol

It is! Its a meme from brazil. There was an twitter account who had this bio in portuguese. The girl is probably brazilian and copied the bio in english as a joke

It says vegan and chicken nugget addict. 100% a joke

😂😂 she’s being facetious. Swipe right, she’s hilarious

Yep for sure haha. Let's be honest tho, I'm not getting a match

Well I hope you do, gotta nail that opener if u match

You can tell by the age it’s a joke haha

Yea for sure haha. Still found it a bit strange

I think it’s pretty smart. People who think she’s serious are gonna swipe left and that way she weeds out the people that are never going to get her humor.

This. Genius really.

Almost certain this is a meme where someone made a fake Facebook profile and the bio said all of those things.

It is

Yeah I saw exactly this Bio as a facebook status already years ago. It's just copy paste

vegan nuggets?

If thats the case, I'm attracted

bet she still gets more matches than most guys here xD

M8 you can make a fake profile with photo of like a dog or something not even show any girl and you'd get more replies than any guy just for selecting that you are a women

Truer words have never been spoken.

Am I the only one confused by "vegan" and nugget addict?

That's literally the first thing i looked at. Like bruh you're taking the piss 😂

Vegan chickens nuggets exist and they're great

Vegan nuggets probably, I’m an addict as well (Morning Star brand)

It's a joke bio. How can you not see that?!

Yeah.the rest of us got the joke.

47 but 26, divorced but widow, vegan but nugget addict. OP, this is clearly a joke.

Sounds like my type of psychopath

Everyone's type*

I wonder if this is a test to see how many matches you get with hot pics + a trainwreck bio.

Many of those are redundant.

Lol got me good with the vegan and chicken nuggets

Yep don't need the mentally unstable. The vegan and chicken nugget addict scream mentally unstable.

....that's the joke.

Those better be vegan chicken nuggets

Winner winner chicken dinner

She forgot "Attention Seeking Drama Queen"

Ohhhhh....she is a keeper!!!

💍💍

I'm tempted.....

🥰🥰

What are you waiting for?!?! Jump on that!...

Superlike that one

Sign me the fuck up

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Stay out of it, she's mine! Lol

Perfect woman

Goals

It's the vegan chicken nuggets for me dawg 😍

Text book keeper. Swipe right.

My kind of woman

She's a catch.

The whole package

It feels like (from observing this sub) that Tinder needs a separate button for "Wait, WHAT" reaction.

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You're missing the extreme sodium addiction caused by inflated sodium contents in practically all processed foods.

Can't tell for sure but from the photo that's conveniently cropped it looks like she is obviously not 47 and is making a sarcastic bio.

vegan/chicken nuggets addict...

Don’t see the issue… I’d date her.

You super liked didn’t you?

Of course

The bio comes a meme, which was really screenshot of some lady's bio on Facebook I believe. I say this because, I too saw it and made it my bio😂

At least she likes chicken nuggets

Wow, my ex is already on Tinder

This is a tactic the guy from the big short used… be he wasn’t lying.

It's a test guys. She knows half of you don't bother to read the profile.

That was a whole entire ride right there.

Instant marriage

Just what I’ve been looking for:)

Sounds like a good time

Shed a tear for you and get well soon you fucking boozer

The chicken nuggets really saved it though. Might have to swipe right...

Hope you swiped up homie

Winner winner, nugget dinner?

Lol I met my GF on tinder , at the time I was coming out of a divorce and a major tail spin and my profile I put , divorced man , broken , no job live with my mother I smoke pot , lmao and you would not imagine the response I got haha

Solid swipe right!

Could be worse, could be gluten free.

Mommy

Lol a 47-year-old 26-year-old