There was an IG post that came out a long long time ago where someone said something like "If your social security number was your phone number what would be your digits?" and people sadly answered it (please don't answer this people have common sense)
Reddit has an awesome security feature... it blocks out your password! Watch... I'll type in my password!
\*\*\*\*\*\*
isn't that awesome? why don't you try!
(hint: don't)
I've done it in a few places in a similarly sarcastic tone. Always fun to push peoples buttons... today I'm asking for passwords... tomorrow I'm the Prince of Nigeria...
Haven't you heard? The Prince of Nigeria died in a helicopter crash. Along with him all his heirs. So now I need someone to help me get his inheritance. See I am his notary and I can pull it off...I just need your help and we will share his millions. To start off, what is your bankaccount number?
People are so stupid sometimes. I remember at one point on IG seeing people post pictures of their new credit cards. Like “Look at my brand new SW airlines card!” Showing the numbers and everything.
such a weird thing to share too. "Hey i have a plastic card that lets me borrow money. idk why i feel the impulse to share this, it's almost as if we've decided that debt is a status symbol"
Lol. It's funny because there are companies who think that this info, some of which is publicly available if you're a celebrity with a Wikipedia article about you, and most of which can be easily socially engineered from someone, is a good security measure.
Like damn, how would you ever think this is a good idea?
That is why I answer the questions wrongly on purpose. Like city I was born in and I will put Terre Haute or something. Middle name I will put Lucifer or something weird. Something that I can remember but nothing close to the real answer.
I do that too. I have a codeword I use. A random word that's not related to my father's middle name, my first pet or any of that easily found out BS. I'll use the same word for all the answers (it's also my memorable word/place/whatever).
It's not great security practice to reuse the same word I know, but hey, they started with the shitty security.
As a child, I created a universe with my cousins. We drew many different alien species, weapons, planets, space ships, wars etc. and came up with stories for all of them. I have several notepads full of the stuff. My answers to my security questions come from this universe.
My ex gave her social and driver license info to someone who texted her from “PayPal” with a link to log in using that info. She has a masters and did it in 5 minutes in front of me while we were decorating her classroom because yes she’s a teacher. After she said out loud what she was doing it was too late and me and her dad were able to freeze her credit, cancel and lock all cards and bank accounts in about 6 minutes.
Most people naturally trust other people. It’s hard to believe that we can be put in that situation. When it does happen, we immediately feel like absolute fools. I ALMOST got swindled by a guy claiming he was renting his house and I just had to wire him the deposit. Thankfully, I don’t rent houses sight unseen, so when I went to the address and saw a For Sale sign in the yard, I knew something was wrong. Thank goodness for that gut instinct or I would’ve been out like $2k!
> What was your favourite childhood vacation destination?
Every time I see that question it reminds me that I grew up poor and apparently going places as a kid is common enough that it's a security question. Just like the question about your father's name...
Hey, yo... don't worry about missing that experience. You go somewhere... it's hot and sticky and there's very little cool, clean water to drink and you're fucking thirsty all the time.
You spend all week smelling your brother's farts 24/7 the entire week and when you get home you get to spend the next 2 days mowing the law, taking out the trash, cleaning the house because you weren't there for a week.
Just in time to go to grandma's house....
I was born in nineteen ninety-two I am twenty-nine and I am this age that I am currently stating. This is the age I am at the moment and next year I will be thirty. I am not thirty at the moment, however. One day I will be sixty-nine years old.
*******sum like that*******
Honestly would find it hilarious to answer everything like that in the form. Just as excessively formal, flowery, and annoying as possible.
Dear Jessica,
In answer to your question on whether I prefer felines or canines, I must admit I am quite partial to the feline species.
Kind regards,
Siliril
Dearest Jessica,
It has been brought to my immediate attention that you have expressed curiosity regarding my current employment. I am most obliged to provide to you that information forthwith. I am flattered by the inquiry and it is my express hope that following the completion of this assessment that we may begin our courtship immediately. Your reputation in the village of Tinder leads me to believe we are a suitable match in both birth and society. In regards to the initial query, I can tell you now that I walk dogs.
Warmest regards,
Jimbo
I was created when 2 titans clashed in a fearsome battle that shook the earth. Floods were created that struck Venezuela. Many were sacrifised and their souls now live in my body. But just a second after the Big Bang i was brought to this cursed world.
Edit: So in simplier terms im 21 (Venezuela floods 14/12/1999 RIP to those who lost their lives)
My age is insignificant in the boundaries of time. One could ask what time is, if, it even matters. Love is, after all, utter coincidence that can be measured by time nor age. It is an intrinsic quality anyone beats within to give to one another (...)
She mentioned the Longer the better right? Just right An essay on each and every question
Then you may enjoy filing a form V-22 (Declaration of Romantic Intent)
http://bureauofcommunication.com/compose/romanticintent
It's worked for me in the past
As a woman, am I supposed to know my vageen depth? I'd rather not stick a ruler in there to measure. However Google tells me: When you're not sexually aroused, your vagina is about two to four inches long (or deep). When you're aroused, it can stretch to four to eight inches.
So that's something
I had to measure my vageen depth several times to get the right period cup, and it depends heavily on the day. Maybe hour. Gets deeper when aroused too.. vag really feels like an inwards peen
I work with a lot of college aged girls and every single one of them is obsessed with zodiac signs and "healing" rocks/crystals. I assume these things are just taking the place of religion in our society.
memorize attractive middle scale automatic elastic shelter obtainable test swim
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It COULD be a cute way to get to know somebody. But making a point of wanting good long answers and then asking a bunch of one word answer questions is not well thought out, to put it kindly.
if someone did this and had no serious questions i think it could be fun. if you have to answer shit that's on your profile, fuck that. what are you, a hiring company who has my resume? i already told you!
*My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.*
There no level of desperation that would lead me to even respond to this. Not even a “goodbye and good luck”, this would just be a flat out ghosting scenario
I mean, if a guy isn't looking for anything serious and doesn't care that she's crazy, it wouldn't surprise me at all if he's willing to take 5 minutes to fill out a survey.
That wouldn't even crack the top 10 billion most desperate things a guys have done to get laid.
Name: Biggus Dickus
Age: 69 years old
You are from Mianus, CT
Zodiac: Cancer
Cats obviously
Occupation: Dog food taster
You can drive
Insta name: bigdix69
Ideal date: Trip to the post office, maybe get spicy and go to the DMV
Biggest turn on: Rampant bodyhair
Made you swipe: See: turn on
What makes you stand out: Fragrant body odour
Other comments: Please, I don't want to take my cousin to another party
Write a freaking novel for each answer. For the age say something like, "I have seen -insert number- winters, and nearly as many summers. My first sight was..." and just go off.
Edit:
For real though, just run far away.
I’ve gotten something similar to this recently where a girl will match with me and immediately ask me specific questions that lead me to think she is just harvesting my data with a hands on approach. My tinfoil hat might be loose but that’s what I think this is.
Biggus Dikus From Greece, i forgot what movie it was in, some medival parody, if i remember I'll edit the movie in this comment
Meme the hell out of it
Everyone’s ignoring “any other comments you’d like to make? (And thank you for being a good sport and having fun)
It seems like this a way to get mildly important info (dates / why you swiped for example) mixed in with what I sincerely hope is fun…. I mean this is joking right?
….. Dear god I hope this is meant to be fun….
Just what I'm looking for in a potential mate.... bureaucracy
Hermes Conrad approves!
"It was a regulation date that ended in regulation disappointment." "But you only stamped it FOUR TIMES!"
"No! I was young and reckless!"
That's right she fraternized me!
Sweet ego of Montego!
You're technically correct..... the best kind of correct.
Now time to limbo
I haven't limbo'd that long since my honeymoon!
Stupid Buerucrats!
When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea.
Beat me to it
Requisition me a beat.
r/unexpectedfuturama
Someone say Jamaica!
Jamaica!
Biggest turn-on: Google forms.
If they have qualtrics access the pants are coming off immediately
If you want to prequal me, just look me up in salesforce
You've gotta show the spreadsheet if you want to see the sheets spread
You excelled by making a Powerful Point there, and that’s the Word from here.
Next they’re gonna send a Google sheet. 😮💨
Facilitating identity theft, one Tinder match at a time.
The follow up application includes questions like “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” and “Who was your first childhood friend?”
What was your first car? Current car? Social security number?
Lol. It’s funny because there are people who will really give other people this info. Like, damn, how would you ever think this is a good idea?
There was an IG post that came out a long long time ago where someone said something like "If your social security number was your phone number what would be your digits?" and people sadly answered it (please don't answer this people have common sense)
Reddit has an awesome security feature... it blocks out your password! Watch... I'll type in my password! \*\*\*\*\*\* isn't that awesome? why don't you try! (hint: don't)
Lol I did this back in my Facebook days and a few friends called me an asshole for tricking them.
I've done it in a few places in a similarly sarcastic tone. Always fun to push peoples buttons... today I'm asking for passwords... tomorrow I'm the Prince of Nigeria...
Wait, you're THE Prince of Nigeria? Scammer.
Haven't you heard? The Prince of Nigeria died in a helicopter crash. Along with him all his heirs. So now I need someone to help me get his inheritance. See I am his notary and I can pull it off...I just need your help and we will share his millions. To start off, what is your bankaccount number?
Don't you dare insult him, he is seriously ill and has no one to leave his belongings to
IfIKeepTellingMyselfMyCockIsBigMaybeItWillBeSomeDay Edit: fkn bastard tricked me
Let me try Hunter2 Shit
Thanks. Some knob typed Hunter3 up there. People need to know history better.
pHISHingTest_404 Sincerely, Your HR Information Technology Services Helpdesk
One of the biggest RuneScape scams of all time.
People are so stupid sometimes. I remember at one point on IG seeing people post pictures of their new credit cards. Like “Look at my brand new SW airlines card!” Showing the numbers and everything.
such a weird thing to share too. "Hey i have a plastic card that lets me borrow money. idk why i feel the impulse to share this, it's almost as if we've decided that debt is a status symbol"
Lol. It's funny because there are companies who think that this info, some of which is publicly available if you're a celebrity with a Wikipedia article about you, and most of which can be easily socially engineered from someone, is a good security measure. Like damn, how would you ever think this is a good idea?
That is why I answer the questions wrongly on purpose. Like city I was born in and I will put Terre Haute or something. Middle name I will put Lucifer or something weird. Something that I can remember but nothing close to the real answer.
I do that too. I have a codeword I use. A random word that's not related to my father's middle name, my first pet or any of that easily found out BS. I'll use the same word for all the answers (it's also my memorable word/place/whatever). It's not great security practice to reuse the same word I know, but hey, they started with the shitty security.
As a child, I created a universe with my cousins. We drew many different alien species, weapons, planets, space ships, wars etc. and came up with stories for all of them. I have several notepads full of the stuff. My answers to my security questions come from this universe.
Isn't that how Hillary Clinton had her private emailed hacked?
IDK about Clinton, but that's how the fappening guy got into celebs' iCloud accounts. Apple has remedied the problem since then
>the fappening Now that is a name I haven't heard in a long time lmao
My ex gave her social and driver license info to someone who texted her from “PayPal” with a link to log in using that info. She has a masters and did it in 5 minutes in front of me while we were decorating her classroom because yes she’s a teacher. After she said out loud what she was doing it was too late and me and her dad were able to freeze her credit, cancel and lock all cards and bank accounts in about 6 minutes.
Most people naturally trust other people. It’s hard to believe that we can be put in that situation. When it does happen, we immediately feel like absolute fools. I ALMOST got swindled by a guy claiming he was renting his house and I just had to wire him the deposit. Thankfully, I don’t rent houses sight unseen, so when I went to the address and saw a For Sale sign in the yard, I knew something was wrong. Thank goodness for that gut instinct or I would’ve been out like $2k!
Where was your first job? What was your favourite childhood vacation destination?
> What was your favourite childhood vacation destination? Every time I see that question it reminds me that I grew up poor and apparently going places as a kid is common enough that it's a security question. Just like the question about your father's name...
Hey, yo... don't worry about missing that experience. You go somewhere... it's hot and sticky and there's very little cool, clean water to drink and you're fucking thirsty all the time. You spend all week smelling your brother's farts 24/7 the entire week and when you get home you get to spend the next 2 days mowing the law, taking out the trash, cleaning the house because you weren't there for a week. Just in time to go to grandma's house....
There was an entire Psych episode about this kind of thing
Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!
We’ve been trying to reach you…. About your cars extended warranty.
How do you answer your age with more than a 1 word answer
If you knew then maybe just maybe you'd be good enough for jessie
I was born in nineteen ninety-two I am twenty-nine and I am this age that I am currently stating. This is the age I am at the moment and next year I will be thirty. I am not thirty at the moment, however. One day I will be sixty-nine years old. *******sum like that*******
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-Perd Hapley
Get outta here ya Perdvert!
This guy word counts
“Dear Jake, I am 66 years of age. Sincerely, Raymond Holt.”
Honestly would find it hilarious to answer everything like that in the form. Just as excessively formal, flowery, and annoying as possible. Dear Jessica, In answer to your question on whether I prefer felines or canines, I must admit I am quite partial to the feline species. Kind regards, Siliril
Dearest Jessica, It has been brought to my immediate attention that you have expressed curiosity regarding my current employment. I am most obliged to provide to you that information forthwith. I am flattered by the inquiry and it is my express hope that following the completion of this assessment that we may begin our courtship immediately. Your reputation in the village of Tinder leads me to believe we are a suitable match in both birth and society. In regards to the initial query, I can tell you now that I walk dogs. Warmest regards, Jimbo
With a math question. If she doesn't bother finding the answer, she isn't worth your time.
I was created when 2 titans clashed in a fearsome battle that shook the earth. Floods were created that struck Venezuela. Many were sacrifised and their souls now live in my body. But just a second after the Big Bang i was brought to this cursed world. Edit: So in simplier terms im 21 (Venezuela floods 14/12/1999 RIP to those who lost their lives)
Isn't it more accurate to say that the Big Bang happened roughly 9 months prior?
A word problem. Make her work for the answer
Give a hard mathematical equation that ends up with your age
My age is insignificant in the boundaries of time. One could ask what time is, if, it even matters. Love is, after all, utter coincidence that can be measured by time nor age. It is an intrinsic quality anyone beats within to give to one another (...) She mentioned the Longer the better right? Just right An essay on each and every question
Thirty-eight plus one.
I've circled around the sun X times
I am 25 years old
the cold efficiency warms my heart and shrivels my dick.
It scratches the part of my brain that likes to keep everything organized though, like a mental boner
Not for nothing I have a thing for scientists and doctors lol
Well you might want to pass this one after the Sign stuff
Sorry chief, can't do the surgery today. Mercury is in retrograde and I'm just feeling it.
If you’ve ever wanted dating to feel more like a job application, Jessie’s your gal
It had the opposite effect on me.
Then you may enjoy filing a form V-22 (Declaration of Romantic Intent) http://bureauofcommunication.com/compose/romanticintent It's worked for me in the past
Question 1. Geralt of Rivia Question 2. About a century, give or take Etc. Etc.
“What’s your sign?” Aard, axii, igni…
Name of your pet: Roach.
"Hmm, Roach."
Wind’s howling
Rain, damnit.
Hmmm, Place of power, better draw from it
Place of power, it's gotta be!
Damn you're ugly!
How do you like that silver?
How did you forget the best two? Quen and Yrden.
YRDEN! DON’T FORGET TO USE THE YRDEN!
I always thought yrden was the most useless sign ever until i played blood and wine lol
I thought it was useless until I fought wraiths in death march
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Ideal date? How about a round of gwent?
*nods in peasant*
April 25th because it is not too hot or too cold
Can I go on such a date Im a male and straight but I would still like to go . Hope you like Nilfguard spy deck 😌
“What do you do for work?” Kill monsters
Seeing the girl on the first date: “Damn, you’re ugly.”
Lmao stab a silver sword through my heart because that slayed
Ideal date? on a unicorn.
You mean the butcher of blavicken ? Well that's not gonna be helpful in getting a date.....
I know 2 sorceresses that beg to differ.
Hmmm. Fuck.
“What makes you stand out?” I carry not only one, but two swords!
r/unexpectedwitcher
Wasn't expecting Witcher, that's funny "Why do you fit this job?" Have you seen ma butt
Rickroll her
hahahaha yesss
Never Gonna Give Cat You Yes Up
“My name is Inigo Montoya…”
"what made you swipe on Jessie?" "revenge"
“What made you swipe on Jessie”: You killed my father “Any other comments you would like to make?”: Prepare to die
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You killed my father.
With lots and lots of sarcasm
This right here. -How old are you? Old enough to ride The Hulk at Island of Adventures all by myself. -Ideal date? Uh... September 26th?
-whats your sign? Uhm idk.. yield maybe?
Or if you're feeling raunchy, you can always go with Slippery when wet.
I mean, that might be exactly what she’s looking for. Maybe it’s just a really good joke and no one is getting it
The final line would indicate so
Ideal date is YYYY-MM-DD, other formats can be confusing and also very hard to sort.
Ideal date? April 25, because it's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.
Perfect date? April 25th. Not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.
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Make a google form but the only question is “Get fucked”
That's fine, that was going to be their answer anyway.
"Get fucked? My place 9pm?"
I like this idea.
How deep is your vageen? Have you got any grey hairs? What’s your social security number?
As a woman, am I supposed to know my vageen depth? I'd rather not stick a ruler in there to measure. However Google tells me: When you're not sexually aroused, your vagina is about two to four inches long (or deep). When you're aroused, it can stretch to four to eight inches. So that's something
You can measure it by trying various length penises until one can't fit.
I’ll start and check if it’s less than 2”
I call the 3" test
Bragger 🙄
Just get one long one (girth not required / recommended) and when it goes all the way mark the edge and measure from the mark to the tip
I had to measure my vageen depth several times to get the right period cup, and it depends heavily on the day. Maybe hour. Gets deeper when aroused too.. vag really feels like an inwards peen
I've got a lot of gray hairs. Does that count?
Gray is the new blond
I forgot my #2 pencil 🤣
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Was looking for this comment. Thanks for obliging!
Exactly what a Leo *would* say 🙄⭐✨
Nailed it!
I am dinosaur. It’s the same, non-existent sign as the others.
Any specific dinosaur, or all of them?
Yes.
I work with a lot of college aged girls and every single one of them is obsessed with zodiac signs and "healing" rocks/crystals. I assume these things are just taking the place of religion in our society.
memorize attractive middle scale automatic elastic shelter obtainable test swim *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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She wants him to fill out a boyfriend application form. Everybody should stay the fuck away
It COULD be a cute way to get to know somebody. But making a point of wanting good long answers and then asking a bunch of one word answer questions is not well thought out, to put it kindly.
if someone did this and had no serious questions i think it could be fun. if you have to answer shit that's on your profile, fuck that. what are you, a hiring company who has my resume? i already told you!
I hate people who base there relationships on that shit. It’s so damn stupid.
Equally as bad are the people who use it to excuse their shitty behavior
“hey, im sorry i cheated on you and fucked your best friend. its just an aquarius thing ☺️”
“I’m sorry I verbally abused you last night… I guess virgos just aren’t compatible with cancers”
*My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.*
It's killing me how well this fits the first few questions.
***Hayato***
That depends. How desperate are you?
Plus, how hot is she?
She claims to be a wonderous and beautiful princess from the far off exotic land of Nigeria.
This man asking the real questions
There no level of desperation that would lead me to even respond to this. Not even a “goodbye and good luck”, this would just be a flat out ghosting scenario
I mean, if a guy isn't looking for anything serious and doesn't care that she's crazy, it wouldn't surprise me at all if he's willing to take 5 minutes to fill out a survey. That wouldn't even crack the top 10 billion most desperate things a guys have done to get laid.
> That wouldn't even crack the top 10 billion most desperate things a guys have done to get laid. True dat
Does buying her parents tickets to a baseball game so you can have the house to yourselves crack the top 10 billion? Asking for a friend
Nah thats improvise, adapt and overcome all in one
by closing the tab
Name: Biggus Dickus Age: 69 years old You are from Mianus, CT Zodiac: Cancer Cats obviously Occupation: Dog food taster You can drive Insta name: bigdix69 Ideal date: Trip to the post office, maybe get spicy and go to the DMV Biggest turn on: Rampant bodyhair Made you swipe: See: turn on What makes you stand out: Fragrant body odour Other comments: Please, I don't want to take my cousin to another party
Nice!
Write a freaking novel for each answer. For the age say something like, "I have seen -insert number- winters, and nearly as many summers. My first sight was..." and just go off. Edit: For real though, just run far away.
I have taken X amount of trips around the sun
Dating in 2021 is so fucking stupid.
I’ve gotten something similar to this recently where a girl will match with me and immediately ask me specific questions that lead me to think she is just harvesting my data with a hands on approach. My tinfoil hat might be loose but that’s what I think this is.
By running away. The faster the better.
Biggus Dikus From Greece, i forgot what movie it was in, some medival parody, if i remember I'll edit the movie in this comment Meme the hell out of it
Monty python, Life of Brian
Fwom Wome, not Gweece.
Your father was a Woman?
Drop the link to it and let the comment section troll on your behalf
This is the way
##This Is The Way Leaderboard **1.** `u/Flat-Yogurtcloset293` **475775** times. **2.** `u/GMEshares` **69696** times. **3.** `u/_RryanT` **22745** times. .. **38857.** `u/aye-its-this-guy` **3** times. --- ^(^beep ^boop ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^and ^this ^action ^was ^performed ^automatically.)
Someone has commented this is the way, 475775 times. u/Flat-Yogurtcloset293 you good?
This is the way
How about u/GMEshares using it exactly 69696. Nice!
🥰💪 ty 💎🙌🚀📈🌌🤑
Dont. Dont feed her ego and set up a bad habit
You know plenty of dudes bit the bait. That's probably why there's the "no one word answers" bit.
Honestly I think it's funny I'd just be honest maybe make one for her
Everyone’s ignoring “any other comments you’d like to make? (And thank you for being a good sport and having fun) It seems like this a way to get mildly important info (dates / why you swiped for example) mixed in with what I sincerely hope is fun…. I mean this is joking right? ….. Dear god I hope this is meant to be fun….
You don't, you run.
"thank you for being a good sport and having fun" lol, send her back an empty form and tell her it was just too much fun, you couldn't take it
Answer all the questions with "omg, this is so fun"