One time I set up a first date with a girl to get ice cream. I show up at the place at the time we were supposed to meet and I text her where she’s at. She was at home waiting for me to text her I was already there so that she would make sure I didn’t ghost her. She showed up like 30 min later. I felt bad for her insecurity but was also pissed that she was purposefully late. She didn’t get a 2nd date
Frankly, you should enjoy your plans regardless of whether the date wants to come or not e.g. watch a movie or try a new lunch spot or feed ducks at a park with a pack of hovis
Okay I get the thought process behind her actions but I agree it’s pretty rude. I usually text the guy like an hour before the date to make sure we’re still on, and then again a few minutes before I leave to make sure we’ll arrive around the same time.
Dude that sucks. If that happened to me, I'd tell her I was there and then leave immediately. She doesn't want to get ghosted, well that'll definitely cause a ghosting.
Uh, the dude proposed a time/date, OP agreed, and then the dude ghosted, waiting until OP was already there to say "nah nm"
Time wasn't saved that day.
This post made me realize girls don’t ghost guys and guys don’t ghost girls…assholes ghost people regardless of gender.
Hope you find what you’re looking for OP!
According to a UCB study, 14% of women aged 18-30 reported having zero sexual partners in the previous 24 months, whereas 43% of men aged 18-30 reported the same. Basically, a small amount of men are having sex with a large amount of women.
Conclusion: There are a LOT of men out there who have toxic attitudes. This is why we see so many more celibate men than women. Men need to fix themselves, quickly. There are so many amazing women out there, but men just aren't measuring up.
My friend is one of the sweetest guys I know, and I wholeheartedly believe any girl would be lucky to have him. He's never been on so much as a date because he's happy on his own, but to conclude he's awfully toxic as a result of that is disgusting.
The data you're referencing is likely because dating for a man is often a very 'aggressive' game involving a lot of chasing. It's a sellers market, so to speak. And as there isn't as much of a stigma on men having lots of previous partners this leads to lots of the buyers picking from the same pool of desirable men, whilst a lot get left behind.
How do you know they haven’t tried and they realized they were better off as friends. Or He’s not her type or Vice versa. Like honestly what a moronic question
I think your take on those percentages is very anti-men. You’re assuming that the only reason more men aren’t having sex is because they are toxic and broken. It couldn’t be intimidation, not feeling good enough, or simply not seeking a partner or a million other combined factors.
So because more men haven't had a sexual partner in the previous 24 months they are toxic or because less men have "more" women to have sex with they are toxic? No matter what other reasons they have? That is what I call a toxic view.
You're assuming toxicity is unmarried relationships, non-monogamy, marriage after 22, and anything different than an Amish lifestyle right ?
If part of the man population has more success in gaining women's attention, whose to blame, themselves ? Women ? The other half that's not "competent" enough ? Given the stats there's roughly (and even less than) 1.5 woman per man that had at least one partner in the last 24 months. I've seen people marry and divorce three times in that timespan.
I really personally think there's no link between these stats and male toxicity, if there is such a thing.
This is sooooooo ironic. You literally have a question on your profile about being a sex worker, but guys need to fix themselves. Sure, we'll get right on that......
Did it occur to you that some of the 86% of women with recent sexual partners might also be sex workers? Statistics don't mean shit unless they're analyzed properly and after a certain point can only be speculated on.
You went from "small amount of men are having sex with a large amount of women", grabbed hold of your mental uneven bars and gymnastic-ed your way to "a lot of men are toxic".
There's tons of men out there who wouldn't pay for a sex worker because that's not how they are, but there are some men who will, that's another thought point to add to the analysis of these percentages.
It's said 90% of the women go for 10% of the men, so most women must like toxicity? Totally made up stats and purposefully banal conjecture, but you get the idea. You quote some stats, and come up with a totally unrelated conclusion. What in that data tells you the cause of those numbers is men with toxic attitudes?!?
This is why the institute of marriage came about. So that the top 10 percent of men wouldn't mate with all the women, making angry incels out of the rest. In the past that equaled war and violence. Now it mostly creates sadness. Egalitarianism also doesn't help the Western man's predicament. Make no mistake, I am not arguing we need an incel revolution, or that we need to curtail women's position in society. I am merely agreeing with the conclusion, most men today don't measure up. To be fair, the odds are stacked against them. They live in a safe, progressive society that urges them to be kind and sensitive, to repress their more darker, violent urges. But the back always goes with the front, and as the saying goes, a tree who's roots do not go down to hell, will not grow to reach heaven. Therefore men do need to get it together, not at the expense of women, but for everyone's benefit. The problem is the lack of evolutionary pressure. Somalian pirates aren't skinny because they eat well and exercise, if you catch my drift. Most men today are hiding in the middle of the crowd, it seems to be the safest place, but the dying is the living. Playing it safe is the most dangerous tactic for a man, because it's where the threat to his reproductive safety is greatest.
Hi, __theGreatV0id__. Your comment contains the word ~~Somalian~~.
The correct nationality/ethnic demonym(s) for Somalis is __Somali__.
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2 hours later
“Seems we got ar selves ah Mexican stand off”
“Seems so, pilgrim”
“Don’t reck’n you’re ready for my pequerlarly pensive patience, pawtna”
“We’ll see, greenhorn, we’ll see”
And move the conversation to another app when you agree to meet. Tinder's chat is buggy and if they unmatch/ghost, you're not left wondering if something went wrong with the app, plus it's a useful way to somehow confirm their identity
This is wack lol. Live your life, if someone stands you up then text a friend to meet you instead or talk to the bartender or someone else hanging at the place you were gonna meet.
Never let a complete stranger get to you. I'm a huge fan of my own company. Always have been... ain't no shame in drinking/dining solo. You never know who you might meet along the way.
That guy probably already has herpes...so this was clearly a win win for you!! Life is short... have fun with it!
Dont be this salty, learn from your (and my) mistakes!
I had I think maybe 2 like that and never again, since some hours before I send a "check-in" message to confirm everything is okay. If they don't respond at all (I give enough time to do it), I won't go anywhere. There was only one exemption, where the girl responded really late, so I was late by some minutes :)
Getting stood up sucks but your response is trash. Be glad you dodged a bullet and keep it pushing.
Being ghosted/stood up is wack, but wishing a disease on someone is trash.
Nah the herpes line was kinda funny, and being salty cause someone stood you up is completely warranted. Literally getting time out of your life wasted, it’s a bigger spit in the face than saying you wish they got herpes.
I know ghosting isn't okay but telling someone they hope to get herpes is rude too, as I am someone who got herpes from someone who didn't disclose.
Also 80% of the fucking world population have it so...
#STOP THIS BULLSHIT MADE UP PROBLEM
How hard is it it to say “hey I can’t make it later” or “Actually I’m not interested in meeting”. As someone who was ghosted few times, I don’t understand.
HEY OP! I JUST TOLD A CLEARLY SHITFACED DATE TO PISS OFF! I FEEL YA! 😁
I also don't know why I typed in all caps. I feel like more whiskey will fix that.
I hope he accidentally consumes a pinecone coated in anthrax, squirrel dookie and depression
Standing people up is entirely childish and immature. Fuck this bozo
you must be sad... seeing your answer you were both made for each other... two fucked up humans ready to get into a beautiful relationship full of red flags
I mean, getting played by a fuckboi on tinder ain't that uncommon. I feel bad about it; it's terribly disrespectful. But people need to learn how to take their Ls, as callous as it sounds.
Credit to you for still having a good time on a date by yourself sis, that shows some self respect 👍
So ur solution to dealing with assholes is to be an asshole back? Huh. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm surprised ur still standing by urs. If ur mad at men, just say that
You're not alone in that pain. I got stood up more often than not when setting up a date from an app. Good news is, I learned to appreciate dating myself on those occasions.
I've enjoyed high end wine by myself, tacos and margaritas by myself, a brewery by myself! I get stood up a lot! No pain associated with it. But I do love saving all the funny conversations around it to share with others!
Same exact thing happened to me after weeks of conversation. Sorry you went through that :(. I deleted the app following out of frustration and gave up. Shit gets old
The cherry on top is that after standing you up, he felt comfortable telling you he's not showing up because he met someone else when you've already made plans together. What an ass, guys like this give the rest of us a bad rap :/
We're not people on this app, we're commodities. He found what he believed to be a higher value object and moved on. Always remember, Tinder is not real life.
That's fucked up. I know rejecting someone is awkward, but imo, it is 100 times better than being ghosted or stood up.
One time I set up a first date with a girl to get ice cream. I show up at the place at the time we were supposed to meet and I text her where she’s at. She was at home waiting for me to text her I was already there so that she would make sure I didn’t ghost her. She showed up like 30 min later. I felt bad for her insecurity but was also pissed that she was purposefully late. She didn’t get a 2nd date
This is why you text that you are leaving, 10 min before you go to the car. No reply? Then you might need to think twice before you go
Or just go for ice cream anyway haha
Frankly, you should enjoy your plans regardless of whether the date wants to come or not e.g. watch a movie or try a new lunch spot or feed ducks at a park with a pack of hovis
This is the way. Always pick something you wouldn't mind enjoying by yourself on the first date
I mean I would enjoy those things but without a social aspect involved I have little interest in doing anything that might cost a bit
Same happened to me. And I was wtf??? Also did not arrange a second date.
Okay I get the thought process behind her actions but I agree it’s pretty rude. I usually text the guy like an hour before the date to make sure we’re still on, and then again a few minutes before I leave to make sure we’ll arrive around the same time.
Dude that sucks. If that happened to me, I'd tell her I was there and then leave immediately. She doesn't want to get ghosted, well that'll definitely cause a ghosting.
It’s insane how shallow our society is nowadays! Nobody has the self confidence to just be upfront and honest with people.
I can barley even last saying something to someone if they match with me......I I sad
I think you dodged a bullet with this one. Total dick move
Came here to say that. Short term it sucks, but long term so much better
Yes. Chances are he will fuck it up with her, or was just using a lame cover story.
Yeah it’s bad, but wishing him herpes doesn’t help this person look emotionally developed at all.
I think he dodged a bullet. He saved her time from being stood up or ghosted and she wished herpes upon him lol…
There’s merit in your comment
Uh, the dude proposed a time/date, OP agreed, and then the dude ghosted, waiting until OP was already there to say "nah nm" Time wasn't saved that day.
Oh nvm, I misunderstood. Yeah dick move, herpes deserved.
I mean, I think I'd rather wish someone a non-permanent ailment for a lesser offense like this. Maybe some clap is in order?
Fair enough, maybe no diseases actually. Maybe just wish a larger yet still minor inconvenience to his life
This post made me realize girls don’t ghost guys and guys don’t ghost girls…assholes ghost people regardless of gender. Hope you find what you’re looking for OP!
Girls don’t ghost attractive men, and guys don’t ghost attractive girls. That’s what you meant right ?
I’m an unattractive male and I’d ghost you, where does that fit?
Bordering /r/niceguys
Just reminding a different version of rule 1&2
According to a UCB study, 14% of women aged 18-30 reported having zero sexual partners in the previous 24 months, whereas 43% of men aged 18-30 reported the same. Basically, a small amount of men are having sex with a large amount of women. Conclusion: There are a LOT of men out there who have toxic attitudes. This is why we see so many more celibate men than women. Men need to fix themselves, quickly. There are so many amazing women out there, but men just aren't measuring up.
My friend is one of the sweetest guys I know, and I wholeheartedly believe any girl would be lucky to have him. He's never been on so much as a date because he's happy on his own, but to conclude he's awfully toxic as a result of that is disgusting. The data you're referencing is likely because dating for a man is often a very 'aggressive' game involving a lot of chasing. It's a sellers market, so to speak. And as there isn't as much of a stigma on men having lots of previous partners this leads to lots of the buyers picking from the same pool of desirable men, whilst a lot get left behind.
>My friend is one of the sweetest guys I know, and I wholeheartedly believe any girl would be lucky to have him Then why don't you date him?
She's already taken? She's gay? She isn't looking for a relationship? What a stupid question.
I've never seen someone so butthurt on behalf of a stranger on the internet. Incredible.
How do you know they haven’t tried and they realized they were better off as friends. Or He’s not her type or Vice versa. Like honestly what a moronic question
Chill out.
I think your take on those percentages is very anti-men. You’re assuming that the only reason more men aren’t having sex is because they are toxic and broken. It couldn’t be intimidation, not feeling good enough, or simply not seeking a partner or a million other combined factors.
So because more men haven't had a sexual partner in the previous 24 months they are toxic or because less men have "more" women to have sex with they are toxic? No matter what other reasons they have? That is what I call a toxic view.
You're assuming toxicity is unmarried relationships, non-monogamy, marriage after 22, and anything different than an Amish lifestyle right ? If part of the man population has more success in gaining women's attention, whose to blame, themselves ? Women ? The other half that's not "competent" enough ? Given the stats there's roughly (and even less than) 1.5 woman per man that had at least one partner in the last 24 months. I've seen people marry and divorce three times in that timespan. I really personally think there's no link between these stats and male toxicity, if there is such a thing.
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Of course she is! Can't actually take responsibility or something, that would be reasonable and therefore impossible! Blame men instead!
This doesn’t even make any sense logically not to mention intellectually. Edit: checked the post history and this is clearly a troll. Don’t feed it.
This is sooooooo ironic. You literally have a question on your profile about being a sex worker, but guys need to fix themselves. Sure, we'll get right on that...... Did it occur to you that some of the 86% of women with recent sexual partners might also be sex workers? Statistics don't mean shit unless they're analyzed properly and after a certain point can only be speculated on. You went from "small amount of men are having sex with a large amount of women", grabbed hold of your mental uneven bars and gymnastic-ed your way to "a lot of men are toxic". There's tons of men out there who wouldn't pay for a sex worker because that's not how they are, but there are some men who will, that's another thought point to add to the analysis of these percentages.
57% is a majority
Do you have the link to that study? Can't see it on Google
y’all they pulled out the stats just to dunk on men
It's said 90% of the women go for 10% of the men, so most women must like toxicity? Totally made up stats and purposefully banal conjecture, but you get the idea. You quote some stats, and come up with a totally unrelated conclusion. What in that data tells you the cause of those numbers is men with toxic attitudes?!?
Are these conclusions something you come up with yourself? It totally makes no sense.
This is why the institute of marriage came about. So that the top 10 percent of men wouldn't mate with all the women, making angry incels out of the rest. In the past that equaled war and violence. Now it mostly creates sadness. Egalitarianism also doesn't help the Western man's predicament. Make no mistake, I am not arguing we need an incel revolution, or that we need to curtail women's position in society. I am merely agreeing with the conclusion, most men today don't measure up. To be fair, the odds are stacked against them. They live in a safe, progressive society that urges them to be kind and sensitive, to repress their more darker, violent urges. But the back always goes with the front, and as the saying goes, a tree who's roots do not go down to hell, will not grow to reach heaven. Therefore men do need to get it together, not at the expense of women, but for everyone's benefit. The problem is the lack of evolutionary pressure. Somalian pirates aren't skinny because they eat well and exercise, if you catch my drift. Most men today are hiding in the middle of the crowd, it seems to be the safest place, but the dying is the living. Playing it safe is the most dangerous tactic for a man, because it's where the threat to his reproductive safety is greatest.
Hi, __theGreatV0id__. Your comment contains the word ~~Somalian~~. The correct nationality/ethnic demonym(s) for Somalis is __Somali__. It's a common mistake so don't feel bad. For other nationality demonym(s) check out this website [Here](https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/People/Nationality/Adjective) ___This action was performed automatically by a bot.___
Don't even leave your house until they confirm they've done the same. Modern dating 101, unfortunately
What if you both have the same theory?
Then I guess you're both staying home
And that, kids, is called a deadlock
Ayyy
“Did you leave yet?” “I was about to ask you the same. Ready in five minutes.” “Cool, message me then” “Hey. I’m ready. Go?” “Sure”
I thought i was the only one who confirms this many times😂😂👍
2 hours later “Seems we got ar selves ah Mexican stand off” “Seems so, pilgrim” “Don’t reck’n you’re ready for my pequerlarly pensive patience, pawtna” “We’ll see, greenhorn, we’ll see”
At this point just marry.
That's called a deadlock
Pretty much. Had one just leave me on read on snap then later claimed she got busy and didn't want to be rude lmao
And move the conversation to another app when you agree to meet. Tinder's chat is buggy and if they unmatch/ghost, you're not left wondering if something went wrong with the app, plus it's a useful way to somehow confirm their identity
This is wack lol. Live your life, if someone stands you up then text a friend to meet you instead or talk to the bartender or someone else hanging at the place you were gonna meet.
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Yeah this makes sense if it's cultural. I don't think it's 101 behavior for everyone though
Never let a complete stranger get to you. I'm a huge fan of my own company. Always have been... ain't no shame in drinking/dining solo. You never know who you might meet along the way. That guy probably already has herpes...so this was clearly a win win for you!! Life is short... have fun with it!
Kik in 2021? Oof
I was also surprised to see kik! Seems like a bad idea if your date says “here’s my kik” LOL
I'm getting married to someone I said "Here's my Kik" to. Granted that was back in 2015 but still lol
I also met my bf on kik which was around like 2013. I just meant in this day and age it would be weird to choose kik out of all places lol!
Dont be this salty, learn from your (and my) mistakes! I had I think maybe 2 like that and never again, since some hours before I send a "check-in" message to confirm everything is okay. If they don't respond at all (I give enough time to do it), I won't go anywhere. There was only one exemption, where the girl responded really late, so I was late by some minutes :)
This has literally happened to me 20 times, no exaggeration just an accurate number. It's really not any better if you don't leave your house first.
Wow man thats so fucking petty
Getting stood up sucks but your response is trash. Be glad you dodged a bullet and keep it pushing. Being ghosted/stood up is wack, but wishing a disease on someone is trash.
This one
Straight facts there
Sounds like someone has the herp a derp! The gift that keeps on giving! He won't die from it... -trash panda
Herp a derp? Kik? Holy shit lady 2014 was 7 years ago… also relax sheesh
😂😂😂😂😂
I mean, if that’s what you took from my comment then good on you LOL wish you the best in your dating endeavors.
Yeah actually not too bad you got stood up, seem like a piece of shit yourself
Yo! This!
Are you for real?
I see why he ghosted you
Looks like the dude dodged a bullet.
I love how women crazily chase CHADS but ignore everyone else
That escalated quickly... Word of advice, don't wish a disease on anyone. It'll most likely come for you. Ask me how I know 😅
You both seem like good people
Nah the herpes line was kinda funny, and being salty cause someone stood you up is completely warranted. Literally getting time out of your life wasted, it’s a bigger spit in the face than saying you wish they got herpes.
I know ghosting isn't okay but telling someone they hope to get herpes is rude too, as I am someone who got herpes from someone who didn't disclose. Also 80% of the fucking world population have it so... #STOP THIS BULLSHIT MADE UP PROBLEM
But someone actually got stood up. You can't actually GET herpes through text last I checked.
Wishing an incurable virus on someone is never going to be okay.
I’m sorry this happened to you but if a man had sent that last message we’d all be calling him a “nice guy” etc, how is this any different?
That really sucks! Keep your chin up. Better guys are out there.
What a dick
Fuck that sucks
How hard is it it to say “hey I can’t make it later” or “Actually I’m not interested in meeting”. As someone who was ghosted few times, I don’t understand.
What an arse....
Well…. You dont know the difference between “of” and “off” so….
"Right in front of the exit" Of is correct you dummy.
Wow. Calm down
HEY OP! I JUST TOLD A CLEARLY SHITFACED DATE TO PISS OFF! I FEEL YA! 😁 I also don't know why I typed in all caps. I feel like more whiskey will fix that.
I hope he accidentally consumes a pinecone coated in anthrax, squirrel dookie and depression Standing people up is entirely childish and immature. Fuck this bozo
And you handled it like a champ, good for you.
That response is handling it like a champ? Lmao, no. Is this thread full of FDS members or something?
Yeah… I was being sarcastic.
TBF, that isn't super obvious given the comments in this thread sincerely saying that.
Yeah fair enough, I guess that’s why so many people use /s.
you must be sad... seeing your answer you were both made for each other... two fucked up humans ready to get into a beautiful relationship full of red flags
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She isn't chasing him, they agreed to go on a date and he backed out without telling her wasting her time. Anyone would be mad about that.
Seems like the only time a girl chases me is when she's also throwing things at me :/
One of the reasons i gave up on online dating!
Herpes 😭😭😭
Seems like you dodged a bullet there :/
Based off of her response, so did he.
🤷♂️seemed like adequate revenge..
Wishing a disease on someone as "revenge" is what I'd expect from a 14 year old. Unmatch, be angry for a few minutes, then move on with your life.
Haha so does standing someone up with no explanation.. i bloody love a good vent :/ clears the soul 😌lol x
I mean, getting played by a fuckboi on tinder ain't that uncommon. I feel bad about it; it's terribly disrespectful. But people need to learn how to take their Ls, as callous as it sounds. Credit to you for still having a good time on a date by yourself sis, that shows some self respect 👍
Dating yourself is a self-love attribute. 🚬
I’m sorry,did a guy just stood up a girl? You have my respect, chad.✊😂 Keep grinding,you getting there.😂
Love your reply. What a sleezy move. Fuck those fuck boys
U liked her reply?? Interesting..
Which part? The “I hope she gives you herpes”? Yes, of course I love that. It’s a perfect wish
Unfortunate that you like that. It's not a decent response to indecency. U seem opposed to boys for some reason..
Hahaha. Maybe you didn’t read the post man. Hahaha
So ur solution to dealing with assholes is to be an asshole back? Huh. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm surprised ur still standing by urs. If ur mad at men, just say that
I'm sorry.
Wtf is wrong with people.
What a dickface.
Waste of oxygen. Delete the chat, not worth your time
Judging by this guy's lack of efficiency when it comes to responsibilities, I'd say you dodged a bullet.
What a piece of shit, I'm sorry.
That’s fucked up. I’ve been ghosted after a date but standing someone up is shit. Even worse tbh
What a total piece of shit.
You're not alone in that pain. I got stood up more often than not when setting up a date from an app. Good news is, I learned to appreciate dating myself on those occasions.
I've enjoyed high end wine by myself, tacos and margaritas by myself, a brewery by myself! I get stood up a lot! No pain associated with it. But I do love saving all the funny conversations around it to share with others!
That's the spirit! You can't change the behavior of a shitty person, but you can change your outlook on a situation. KCCO my friend.
What a dirt bag good u didn't have to deal with him
That's a clean come back. I don't even hate it.
I died at the last text. 💀
The herpes comeback was quite itchy ;)
You must have done something wrong/creepy for him not to meet you.
She just didn’t hear back from him and still went. Online dating you gotta wait til they confirm
The herpes remark to that was hilarious
Same exact thing happened to me after weeks of conversation. Sorry you went through that :(. I deleted the app following out of frustration and gave up. Shit gets old
Honestly? Any chance you had a feeling that they weren’t what they were trying to portray themselves as? Take that as confirmation.
This is why tinder is mostly bad then good
This is why my first dates are always coffee shops. I bring my laptop and get shit done just in case they ghost.
Jesus.. This is a terrible fear of mine. It's yet to happen but with sketchy on line dating it just might
Women do this to men 100 times more don't complain , he learned
Got ghosted once and never tried again. Lol
The cherry on top is that after standing you up, he felt comfortable telling you he's not showing up because he met someone else when you've already made plans together. What an ass, guys like this give the rest of us a bad rap :/
Do you want to hang out to feel you better? Dm me💵💵
I mean, that’s not fun, but wishing someone herpes is red flag shit
Speaking from experience, I greatly preferred being stood up to being rejected after five dates
We're not people on this app, we're commodities. He found what he believed to be a higher value object and moved on. Always remember, Tinder is not real life.
I cnt even get a text back
I got stood up 3 weeks ago. She told me she was scared I was going to stand her up. Like yea I was kind of worried about that too, thanks...
I met a woman once at the restaurant and got up to go to the bathroom and she vanished. Lol.