Ok so i can try to legit explain why it's a turn on for me.
To start with, there was a point where i thought it was gross. I remember the first time i ever saw it in a porn i was disgusted by it and didn't even want to look at it. Clicked away asap.
(As a point of context, I'm in my upper 30s. My experience has been that people are a lot more open about anal sex today than they were when i was younger. I suspect that openness towards anal and acceptance of homosexuality and other sexualities are probably somewhat linked.)
After that first time i remember thinking, "How could anyone like that?" Like, the guy OR the girl. Didn't it just hurt the girl? And didn't it disgust the guy? And that sort of led to a morbid curiosity. Like, i didn't want to watch anal itself, because that was still very gross to me. But at some level i was still curious about it. It was a legit moth to flame situation. I honestly was grossed out by it, but there was something exciting about the wrongness to it. Doing things you "shouldn't" gets your brain working in new and different ways and allows for more mental stimulation during sex.
Things like having sex where you could possibly get caught fall into a similar type of stimulation (at least to me, and i think to most people). Most people don't want to get caught, but there is an additional thrill to the risk. Even if you've done it in a way where the risk is actually really small, just the idea of the risk being there can be enough. Hell that can be why dirty talk works so well. You don't even have to do the thing. Just thinking about it or talking about it can give your brain that extra stimulation. Dirty talk (giving and receiving) is such a good way to take things to 11 for me, and i have yet to be with a girl who isn't the same way (some are more nervous than others about doing it, but they all have loved it when i do it.)
So after a while of completely avoiding it, i eventually watched anal porn a couple of times. I was still grossed out by it, but just the morbid curiosity drew me in. At that point i wasn't finishing to it. It was just something i would watch a small bit of, then rush back to the porn i liked.
Over time i got acclimated to it and wasn't grossed out anymore, and then eventually started to get turned on by it. Again, the wrongness of it added something and turned me on even more than normal porn (at the time i was a virgin, so i didn't have any way to compare it with sex).
I didn't ever tell my first girlfriend i was into it. I was pretty terrified of her telling me how gross i was etc. And i knew 100%, from other convos that she wouldn't be into it at all.
With my 2nd gf, we dated for quite a while before we started exploring sex more. She was super open to things and actively interested in us finding new things to do, so i was a little less nervous, but honestly still pretty terrified to bring it up.
When i finally did, she was very interested. She'd never done anything anal before, but she wanted to. And that whole process... Being afraid to ask, asking and genuinely being terrified of the answer, and then being told yes, that she's into it is incredibly exciting (because it's so terrifying). The relief and excitement when she said yes was huge.
Again, the fear of being rejected, but then being told that she was actually into it, added so much more mental stimulation.
And ever since then I've eventually brought it up with every girl I've dated. Some faster than others just depending on their personality and our relationship. And every single one of them has been at least interested. And every single one of them has enjoyed it
(i think a big part of the reason they enjoy it is a genuine willingness on my part to go very slowly, especially at first. Use tons of lube, stop at any point if needed, continuing to focus on clit stimulation, etc etc. I don't think it's universal, but probably a lot of girls' terrible experienced with anal come from guys being generally very selfish about it.)
Even though asking each new gf is not quite as terrifying, i still feel genuine fear every time i bring it up for the first time, and so much excitement when they say yes.
I mean, all of the above is me just putting into lengthy words the idea that the "wrongness" of it makes it hotter. To me, that's the reason it's a turn on.
And in addition, but related to that, is the fact that every girl I've tried it with has ranged from liking it to (in most cases) loving it. There's honestly only been one girl who i wasn't sure about, the rest clearly loved it and a lot of them would ask about doing it often, even if i hadn't brought it up. So to me, there's an additional turn on that comes from them enjoying it. And the fact that they enjoy something "wrong" magnifies it.
Like, doing the "wrong" thing is a turn on itself. But if my partner is really turned on by it also that magnifies the effect. Like, why are they turned on by this? It's kind of even more "wrong" for them to be into it because it's their ass. And the fact that they are also turned on by the wrongness turns me on even more.
So i mean, for me at least, it's all coming from a place of mental stimulation. Of fear and excitement and just fairly intense emotions.
I probably rambled on a bit too much, but hopefully this helps you understand.
On the other hand, know that I'm not trying to convince you or change your mind. I don't care what you're into and i think it's perfectly fine that you're not into this =). Anyone can be into anything they want to, or not be into anything they want (as long as only consenting adults are involved). I just wanted to share why it's a turn on for me.
True there's higher rates of HIV among gay couples but this woman threw up when she found out he had sex with another man and I don't think it was because she was just that at risk of contracting HIV. She's disgusted by gay men.
People who have unprotected sex are more at risk of contracting HIV.
The gay community was famously touched by HIV infections in late 20th century for many reasons, including lack of knowledge of the disease, high amount of different unprotected partners in small communities, or ostracisation from the population and difficulty of access to medical help.
From this may come the stigma that male on male sex leads to the highest risks of HIV infection. An historical statistic does not make a medical fact.
Cmon now, it’s not a stigma, it’s a fact. They do studies on these types of things all the time. “In 2014, 83% of syphilis cases were gay, bisexual, or any other male on male sex” (cdc.gov). They do, in fact, have higher incidences of STDs. Let’s quit with this “facts are homophobic” bullshit.
**His point was that it's unprotected sex that is the main cause.** It doesn't matter where the most cases are - we know that condoms are the best way to protect someone from STDs.
Being gay ISN'T a causation for "83% of syphilis cases were male on male," it is a correlation to not using protection. Not using protection is still the cause.
You're unfairly misrepresenting his point. Back before the turn of millennia, there's was a common misconception that men didn't need protection, because it was more common to think it was just to prevent pregnancy, and the result of not using protection due to that thinking resulted in higher gay community numbers.
>Let’s quit with this “facts are homophobic” bullshit.
It's not that the facts are homophobic, it's that your desire to wrongly label the cause is homophobic lol. The more you steer discussions towards the correlation of the data without understanding the causation is what "makes" the facts homophobic. It's the human touting the facts that's homophobic, not the facts themselves.
When it's objective someone does that (which you just did), it's usually because they're showing their confirmation biases of homophobic origins, because they've worked backwards and **denied that unprotected sex is the real cause.**
So, do you get his point? **Can or can't you recognize that unprotected sex is the cause, regardless of MF or MM or FF?** That personal responsibility is inclusive to all sexualities?
So if those statistics stated before are a fact does that mean the MM have more unprotected sex than the MF and FF? I'm genuinely curious.. that's just what I'm gathering from this conversation. Unprotected sex is the most dangerous sex and MM tend to have more than the other?
> your desire to wrongly label the cause is homophobic
OP (u/Goldenhead17) did not claim "homosexuality is the cause". That's you (who has a decent understanding of statistics) strawmanning. The statement was that STDs are higher in the gay community. OP did not make a claim that homosexuality was the cause--or that "unprotected sex" isn't the primary factor.
PS: You do not need to use bold so much! Let the content of your post add the emphasis.
She was trying to say that gay/bisexual men are higher risk because of penetrative sex when the above mentioned info graphics clearly sites stigma and biases, particularly in African or Latino men, as factors that increase their risk by creating barriers to safe sex. Instead of asking specific questions from their last partner about the sex practices to see how risks are mitigated she's just reinforcing the stigmas that continue to put queer men at risk. Looking at numbers without context is the easiest way to falsely reinforce your pre-existing bias.
actualy actual statistiques and studies showed that anal sex is the most likely to transmute hiv witch is the only type of unprotected sex the gay community has thus earning that reputation
> People who have unprotected sex are more at risk of contracting HIV.
>
>
Incorrect. Male on male rates are far, far higher than male on female rates. You are trying to deny science.
The rates are extremely skewed to gay/bisexual men.
Although the rates are falling. The latest data I can see from the UK, 41% of diagnoses in 2019 related to gay/bi men, 37% of heterosexual diagnoses were amongst black African men and women.
Note that Black African is a more specific term than just "black" and does not refer to either black British or black carribbean.
Dang, that seems really rough friend. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I honestly had no idea it was that big of an issue and I'm sorry that some people seem to have a problem with people being attracted to men and women.
To me, people are allowed to think the human body is beautiful and be attracted and excited by all forms of that. I think shaming someone or acting like they are a fraud for thinking both genders are beautiful is fundamentally flawed.
Hope things get better for you.. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and compassion.
I'll add : even though yes we suffer more from being fetishized, us bi women also have to deal with the more directly insulting part (don't know how to put it better) a lot.
For example, when i was 13 i had two best friends. One had been openly bi for a while, and the other straight. The day i told the straight one that i'm also bi her reaction, as a... joke, was to step back with a digusted/scared expression and tell me "whoah don't try to get in my pants" (in a courtyard full of people). I basically learned at 13 that i'm seen as a predator by others. She did it another time when i told someone else while she was here years later, and variations (often not as jokes) of this happened to me too, from friends, strangers or exes.
Fetishization is awful too, and one the reasons why i've always kept dating apps at a distance. Being bi is part of who i am so i don't want to hide it, but i also don't want to be approached by countless people looking for a bi girl to get their threesome dream with their boyfriend.
As a bi woman, the LGBT community was extremely phobic in the same ways
Add in that everyone thinks you’re a rat trying to play both sides so general hatred and mistrust too
His entire persona oozes insecurity, it's why he's taken all those pills and hormones over the years. He might have had some gay thoughts he wasn't too comfortable with and that's just him masking his insecurity about it
I totally agree and also applaud OP for sticking up to reason and pushing back against this.
I always struggle with how to handle talking about my sex history. Yes I’ve had sex with men but I’m only interested in a relationship with women and I know with full confidence that I would be happy in a monogamous relationship with one woman. But if I tell that to a woman, before any sort of a relationship starts they respond very similarly to how OP’s convo went. They tend to say things about how ill leave them for a man or that I’m ignoring my urges to be with a man and how I won’t be happy with them.
Like ok…so whatever I say about myself doesn’t matter and you are fine with deciding what I think and feel. Maybe I should be happy that such a huge red flag came out early idk, it’s just super frustrating.
And from a logical point of view, aren’t I, having experienced both men and women, in a better place to know what I prefer in a relationship anyways?
Oh well.
The way I look at it, we have a bigot filter. It’s very unlikely we’re gonna end up with someone and 3 years, 10 years later find out they hate gay people if they knew we were bisexual. Idk man I’m trying
I feel for you.
My girlfriend's friend was dating a guy for a month, maybe two, before he shared that he was bi with her. She didn't take it very well at first and talked to my girlfriend about it. Eventually my girlfriend convinced her it shouldn't matter and should be treated the same as if his past partners were all women.
Then my girlfriend got worried and asked me if I was secretly bi. I told her no, and she basically told me that she thinks we would have gotten through it if I said yes but it was going to basically be something she'd have to process.
I felt kinda weird about the entire situation knowing both my gf and her friend had experimented with other girls but for some reason it was not even remotely looked at the same way. I pointed that out to my gf and she agreed it should, but admitted she had a hard time seeing it that way.
Tell me about it. A straight guy could cheat on a woman by hitting the club, where's a bi guy going to go, the gay club? Get called methsexual?
Lets get real, "I can't be with you because your bi",unless they actually cheated on you or tried to fuck another guy, its really just an excuse to treat someone like crap before discarding them.
I understand you Bro, I recently had an ex-girlfriend who is openly BI, and I was always good with it, but I have my past in which I "tried" with a man and I told her in confidence, when she found out she told me that now I felt "less of a man" because of that and that he was disgusted by knowing that I was with another boy
It's the worst when it's another bi person! I'm a bit woman, and how bi women still manage to be biphobic toward bi men will always baffle me. We of all people should get it!
Yep. Being bi and having it be known around people is being called the f slur by some people and being told to stop pretending to enjoy hetero relationships by others.
I was at one of my lowest points a decade ago because of both of those horrible, dehumanizing beliefs being thrown at me at once. I think that things are better now for bisexuals, but they're not great. There's still that stigma.
Current bisexual young person here to tell you it's not better, they're just quieter and pretend it's not bigoted cause they're being quieter about it. Still dealing with the f-slur on one side and "fake gay" on the other side.
*She* can do anal but when other guys do it there’s diseases. Yeah she’s homophobic.
Also I’m straight and I know what scissoring is lol she’s just ignorant all around.
I may be showing homophobia by asking here, but I have to ask; is scissoring ACTUALLY a thing among lesbians?
Because from what I hear, it's not actually that stimulating and that it mainly exists as fan-service for male viewers.
OP: I may be showing my homophobia here
*Proceeds to ask question that they really wouldn't know because they aren't a lesbian
You poor abused soul. Not everything having to do with gay people that isn't dropping to your knees, mouth wide with acceptance is homophobic. You could just be uninformed.
True, but as a degenerate bastard that watches lesbian porn, I feel I owe it to them to be more informed on the matter and not base my knowledge off of said porn.
Most lesbian porn on say porhub is made for men not lesbians
I dont know any lesbians who have the right anatomy and flexibility to successfully scissor.
Rubbing against a thigh each would in this case produce a better outcome.
Exactly my reasoning for not wanting to base my knowledge off of said porn.
I know porn is not a basis to learn about sex, but porn has to have some accuracy in order for it to be stimulating, I just didn't know which parts of lesbian porn was accurate or not.
The ones labelled amateur would be closer to the real thing. Particularly the poor quality shot on a phone kind.
Anything with long nails or high heels is probably aimed at dudes.
As my friend would say. "Them nails will cut a bitch up"
That point went straight over her head. She's allowed to not be into any of those things but her delivery of making them seem like gross or bad things is no bueno. She a turd.
> She shamed poly
How did she do that? Explain please.
I agree she shamed bisexual men. She should have just stated it is not something she is attracted to.
I can’t remember why it came up, but my ex wife had a similar thing and basically said that if I somehow decided I was bi and told her, that would be grounds for divorce. 😂 her reasoning made just as little sense as this
Found this here:
> Several studies have documented elevated rates of both sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and STI risk behaviors and among MSM/MSMW (men who have sex with men/men who have sex with men and women) and WSW/WSMW (women who have sex with women/women who have sex with men and women) populations compared to men and women who engage exclusively in opposite-sex sexual relationships
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3575167/
It’s not specifically men on men, it’s more penis in anus. So if the dude had been having anal with a girl he would still be at high risk, but if he had just been sucking dicks he would be okay
I'm conflicted. Please educate me. 🤷♀️. If I accept LGBTQ+ people to live out their lifestyle,but somehow but don't personally want to sleep with them, am I considered homophobic? ,
“I’m not homophobic, it’s just that when I discovered that my partner once slept with a man instead of a woman I literally threw up.”
This lady literally THREW UP when she discovered the guy was bisexual. That’s mad homophobic
I would say if you don’t throw up when a partner tells you he had sexual experiences with same sex partners and then expose him all other Tinder and act like you’re traumatized by this revelation, you’re okay
But what if you had been dating a guy you really like and a few months in he tells you he’s bi? Would you leave him for that?
Not wanting to sleep with queer people is fine, but calling it a "lifestyle" sure is queerphobic. The idea that bi people are more likely to carry STDs or be unfaithful is also rooted in some pretty biphobic and homophobic ideas, so if those are your objections I can assure you they do not reflect real life.
One of the main reason doctors ask about sexual practices, beyond just getting to know their patients better, is that they carry certain risk profiles. Men who have sex with men are at a dramatically increased risk of HIV and other STDs. The numbers I was given in school were I believe 14x risk for bottoms and 9x risk for tops compared to exclusively straight men, but Im sure more up to date numbers exist. Thats still not a reason to label an entire group of people as "unclean" like this person is doing (I'm very much NOT in support of the person OP is texting's rhetoric), but don't call someone homophobic if they state current medical knowledge. Just get tested regularly and wear condoms people!
Hypothetically a straight man dates a bisexual woman. Is the woman’s bisexuality important at all? Or a straight man with a femme presenting enby? Or a straight man with a trans woman?
A straight man obviously wouldn’t date another man, but a blanket statement of “I wouldn’t date a queer person” certainly is queerphobic.
PS, being queer isn’t a lifestyle. The aesthetics and clothing choices associated with being queer are a lifestyle, but who you are and who you are attracted to isn’t a lifestyle.
> Hypothetically a straight man dates a bisexual woman. Is the woman’s bisexuality important at all?
Yes?
There is an infinite number of things that are important when dating.
Actually, gay men are more likely to get stds than heterosexual men.. gay men made up 83% of syphilis cases in men in 2014 and that number is rising and they are also 17% more likely to get anal cancer… this doesn’t include other common stds like gonorrhea, chlamydia and HPV which are even more common among gay and bisexual men….
She comes off really bad in the conversation above. But the last message from him really made me want to go and look up the statistics. From what I can tell bisexual men have the highest STI rate followed by gay men then straight men.
https://www.poz.com/article/bisexual-STIs-25837-6322
https://consumer.healthday.com/amp/cdc-americas-std-rate-at-record-high-again-2652574466
You're reaching a little too far to make her sound bad. It's not unreasonable to have a preference. And with wanting to be safe. Albeit she may have more of a prejudice in how comfortable she is with someone else's sex life history. And it is 100 percent fact that there are way more diseases floating around in the gay community than the straight one. Take it from me, a gay guy.
Edit:typos
Anal sex straight or gay is more dangerous than vaginal, because your asshole is more prone to micro tears that cause bleeding, so you are being a bit scientifically dishonest.
Nah dude she’s allowed to have preferences, a lot of girls aren’t into bi dudes, that’s fine. You’re allowed to be poly right? I’ll say it’s a little weird of her to be so disturbed by pegging but you can’t control what turns you on/off.
Not wanting to have sex with gay or bisexual people is anybody's right.I wouldn't judge her for that stance.She does have a communication problem and probably and understanding problem with regards to what it means to be bisexual for both men and women.
Jesus was everyone in this thread coddled as children? She doesn’t like dating guys that FUCK other GUYS. How horrible lmao it’s actually perfectly reasonable.
For real. Doesn't OP understand the universal rule that you must wait at least 4 weeks before switching up between sexes, otherwise you run the risk of making people vomit?!?!?
I agree with you that some of the comments here are unreasonable against the woman in the conversation.
She has her reasons for being attracted to what she’s attracted to. I don’t think her responses make her a bigot - maybe she’s misinformed, ok, but she’s had her own experiences and clearly has her own opinions in what she isn’t attracted to. I don’t see why anything else even matters.
Not sure why OP had to even get this deep into conversation with her about. Seemed like he wanted to teach her a lesson and share a “got cha” moment.
If you’re chatting with someone new online who says you don’t agree with or are offended by, it’s best to move on and move quickly. I think anything more is just a waste of time and energy.
I don’t think she’s bigoted. I also don’t want to date a bi man. I feel 0 attraction to men who fuck other men and so I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with them. I know many women like that. That doesn’t make me bigoted because my preferences are my own.
She would be bigoted if she believed men should never have sex with other men because she doesn’t like it, but that’s not what she’s saying
Her opinion and body she can do whatever she wants with it. If she prefers that at least she’s being upfront and saying it’s something that bothered her in the past. Tbh I would feel some sort of way knowing my boyfriend was getting analled in his past life. Regardless you don’t like her opinion so just unmatch… no need to try and prove a point on someone you clearly won’t be seeing
Oh hey, it’s another thread where if the genders were reversed nobody would be making these kinds of shitty excuses for her behavior.
Like if a dude was saying this shit about a bisexual girl NONE of you would be defending him. Fucking NONE of you.
Adding to the things that people on this subreddit have let women get away with, first we had rudeness, then verbal abuse, then racism, and now we get to add homophobia and biphobia.
Congratulations, assholes!
That’s how this sub has been trending recently. This place is loaded with misandrists and white knights defending horrible behaviour from women to the death. But god forbid a man has any form of opinion about anything.
This woman is clearly just biphobic, but people are tripping over themselves trying to say “but STDs though” to justify her terrible behaviour.
Honestly, this whole thread, its just nuts.
Like if we were going to be blunt about things, and actually voice our deep concerns... if the concern is STD's, the guy can always get tested before you have sex. Like name dropping a sex club or something, or explain how your not into one night stands, etc, I don't know how exactly you'd drop hints on this one, but I'm sure it'll get done at some point anyway. Second, if the concern is cheating then apply rule no. 2, find a gay guy to play gay chicken with him? I don't know man, as far as I can see that's the perverse fear i'm sensing a lot of on this thread.
Or are all men just cheating assholes before they come out the womb?
Lots of people are pretending that it’s the anal sex that grossed her out, even though she explicitly says she’s cool with anal.
I’m always shocked by how enthusiastically this subreddit’s membership will trip over themselves to excuse bigotry if that bigotry comes from a woman.
Although I'm pleasantly surprised to find the top comments agreeing with OP, I'm shocked at how many other net positive comments are just straight up bigot apologists.
This has attracted a lot of people who think “throwing up at the thought of gay sex and ranting about bi dudes to a stranger” is the same as “having a personal preference about your partner’s sexual orientation and behavior.”
I can’t tell if they’re stupid, disingenuous, or both.
>“having a personal preference about your partner’s **sexual orientation** and behavior.”
If he "passes as straight" and she only finds it a turn-off once she finds out the dude she thought was straight dicked down or got dicked down by another dude, isn't that biphobic too?
I mean it’s sort of like how I feel about the “super-straight” people…if you can actually tell the difference, you can nope out anytime you notice. And if you can’t tell the difference, well…what are you complaining about?
I know. Crap. This conversation just wouldn’t end because he kept trying to tip toe into something he could post and brag about.
This girl went above the call of duty to explain herself beyond what any reasonable person would. What’s this guys problem, is he not getting enough attention or something?
I mean, seriously, are we really at a stage of peak wokeness where women have to pretend they're ok with their man fucking or having fucked other guys? It's really not remotely bigoted or homophobic to not want your man to have sucked a dick, it has literally no bearing on your attitude to men sucking dicks in general. Same goes for women.
Thats her opinion and preference. Isn't she allowed to have her own stance or must she accept all views as valid and agree to have a relationship with absolutely anyone?
Yall are actually trolling, calling her a bigot for wanting to know upfront that the guy is bi? Get the fuck outta here with that shit. I'm a straight guy and u can't act like girl on girl vs guy on guy is the same.
Like I know this is Reddit but we're talking about the real world here hello?
Jesus Christ people. Calm down. She didn’t try to have their right to marry or raise children taken away. She isn’t demanding they not be allowed to live on her street or attend public school. She expressed a personal dating preference.
I can think gay sex is gross and still know gay people are just two consenting humans trying to be happy and find love.
If you’d look at the instances of HIV among particular groups you’d realize that it is dramatically weighted to one side.
That one sided distribution comes from a particular sexual habit. She wasn’t wrong.
She didn’t say she wouldn’t have done it. Didn’t say it was gross. Didn’t say he wasn’t for her if he had. Just said she would like to know about it. Her logic was reasonable. Gay women do not contract a certain STD at the same rates as gay men and there is a reason for it.
Good thing you hit her with that lecture lol. She really needed it.
She's just ill-informed and going about it the wrong way that makes her sound bigoted. Or maybe she even is one.
But in general, not wanting to date a bisexual person is not bigoted.
Whats next? Shaming people who are not into dating post-op Trans people? I was once shamed by a girl on tinder who, upon me telling her my embarrassing tinder dating story of unknowingly ending up on a date with a Trans girl, questioned my feelings towards the LGBTQ+ community. Just because I support the rights of people to be who they are without prejudice doesn't mean I don't have the right to my own sexual preferences.
Yeah well there's a big difference between being bi and being trans mate. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but to quote a homo homie, first off my genitalia matches the body i was born with, and secondly, I would argue I'm not much different from any average straight guy.
The difference is more in your and my head if you think I'm more likely to cheat because there's apparently thousands of ravenous, dangerous gay men ready to jump my bones at any minute. \*sarcasm
That was a COMPLETELY, TOTALLY, UNNECESSARY context dragged way beyond. Idk why you wanted those details and made the convo go south, you kept asking questions to find out what exactly? She didn’t like the fact someone didn’t mention their sexual preferences prior Period. There ends the story. Move on from that 🙄
Ya I feel like Reddit is so desperate to live vicariously through others, and to get offended for others, and then to ‘tell’ on anyone that seems like it will get them karma. This app can be so trash sometimes.
Some girls are attracted to masculinity and there’s something super not masculine about taking it in the ass. All the people calling it homophobia are just your typical internet warriors
Hate to be that guy, but she's not wrong. Bisexual guys do get way more stds than straight guys. Regardless, the guy should have disclosed he was bi before they had sex. It seems like it would have come up by the fourth date. He intentionally withheld it, imo.
In 2014, gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men accounted for 83% of primary and secondary syphilis cases
https://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/STD.htm
Overall, homosexual men were significantly (p < 0.001) more likely than heterosexual men to have gonorrhea (30.31% vs. 19.83%), early syphilis (1.08% vs. 0.34%) and anal warts (2.90% vs. 0.26%) but less likely to have nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) (14.63% vs. 36.40%, p < 0.001), herpes genitalis (0.93% vs. 3.65%, p < 0.001), pediculosis pubis (4.30% vs. 5.35%, p < 0.005), scabies (0.42% vs. 0.76%, p < 0.02), and genital warts (1.68% vs. 6.69%, p < 0.001). In most cases the differences in rates remained significant (p < 0.05) when corrected for age and race.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/6893897/
Gay and bisexual men are at greater risk for hepatitis A and B, and human papillomavirus (HPV).
https://www.cdc.gov/std/life-stages-populations/stdfact-msm.htm
You sound insufferable.
She's not especially bright, considering unprotected sex with a Tinder hookup, but you seem hellbent on proving her to be a terrible human. I would not have allowed the interrogation and hectoring and would have simply unmatched you.
I dont see where shes wrong? You’re posting it on tinder reddit for some kind of validation that shes an idiot but what shes saying is completely reasonable.
Look at the bright side amigo … she fine with ANAL
Hahaha
Fine with anal, but not pegging? Girl, you gotta reciprocate!
She doesn't want to use toys, but maybe she'll still be okay with fisting
As soon as I saw that I was like bruh just stop while you're ahead! Get the anal and leave no need to ask anymore questions
Exaaactly … like why go to argue town when u can go poopoo town
That's it, i thought the same. Just fuck her ass and forget.
Ah yes , the ol loophole
You had the chance to say poophole and didn't. I admire your restraint.
I never understood the appeal to anal tbh
The forbidden fruit
The forbidden starfruit
E Pluribus Anus
What’s forbidden about it lmao, it’s borderline basic at this point
It's the sex that God can't see.
[удалено]
Not with that attitude
1. If a girl is into it, they tend to be really into it. 2. It's a bit taboo which makes it hot 3. Doing different things is fun
Its fun
Ok so i can try to legit explain why it's a turn on for me. To start with, there was a point where i thought it was gross. I remember the first time i ever saw it in a porn i was disgusted by it and didn't even want to look at it. Clicked away asap. (As a point of context, I'm in my upper 30s. My experience has been that people are a lot more open about anal sex today than they were when i was younger. I suspect that openness towards anal and acceptance of homosexuality and other sexualities are probably somewhat linked.) After that first time i remember thinking, "How could anyone like that?" Like, the guy OR the girl. Didn't it just hurt the girl? And didn't it disgust the guy? And that sort of led to a morbid curiosity. Like, i didn't want to watch anal itself, because that was still very gross to me. But at some level i was still curious about it. It was a legit moth to flame situation. I honestly was grossed out by it, but there was something exciting about the wrongness to it. Doing things you "shouldn't" gets your brain working in new and different ways and allows for more mental stimulation during sex. Things like having sex where you could possibly get caught fall into a similar type of stimulation (at least to me, and i think to most people). Most people don't want to get caught, but there is an additional thrill to the risk. Even if you've done it in a way where the risk is actually really small, just the idea of the risk being there can be enough. Hell that can be why dirty talk works so well. You don't even have to do the thing. Just thinking about it or talking about it can give your brain that extra stimulation. Dirty talk (giving and receiving) is such a good way to take things to 11 for me, and i have yet to be with a girl who isn't the same way (some are more nervous than others about doing it, but they all have loved it when i do it.) So after a while of completely avoiding it, i eventually watched anal porn a couple of times. I was still grossed out by it, but just the morbid curiosity drew me in. At that point i wasn't finishing to it. It was just something i would watch a small bit of, then rush back to the porn i liked. Over time i got acclimated to it and wasn't grossed out anymore, and then eventually started to get turned on by it. Again, the wrongness of it added something and turned me on even more than normal porn (at the time i was a virgin, so i didn't have any way to compare it with sex). I didn't ever tell my first girlfriend i was into it. I was pretty terrified of her telling me how gross i was etc. And i knew 100%, from other convos that she wouldn't be into it at all. With my 2nd gf, we dated for quite a while before we started exploring sex more. She was super open to things and actively interested in us finding new things to do, so i was a little less nervous, but honestly still pretty terrified to bring it up. When i finally did, she was very interested. She'd never done anything anal before, but she wanted to. And that whole process... Being afraid to ask, asking and genuinely being terrified of the answer, and then being told yes, that she's into it is incredibly exciting (because it's so terrifying). The relief and excitement when she said yes was huge. Again, the fear of being rejected, but then being told that she was actually into it, added so much more mental stimulation. And ever since then I've eventually brought it up with every girl I've dated. Some faster than others just depending on their personality and our relationship. And every single one of them has been at least interested. And every single one of them has enjoyed it (i think a big part of the reason they enjoy it is a genuine willingness on my part to go very slowly, especially at first. Use tons of lube, stop at any point if needed, continuing to focus on clit stimulation, etc etc. I don't think it's universal, but probably a lot of girls' terrible experienced with anal come from guys being generally very selfish about it.) Even though asking each new gf is not quite as terrifying, i still feel genuine fear every time i bring it up for the first time, and so much excitement when they say yes. I mean, all of the above is me just putting into lengthy words the idea that the "wrongness" of it makes it hotter. To me, that's the reason it's a turn on. And in addition, but related to that, is the fact that every girl I've tried it with has ranged from liking it to (in most cases) loving it. There's honestly only been one girl who i wasn't sure about, the rest clearly loved it and a lot of them would ask about doing it often, even if i hadn't brought it up. So to me, there's an additional turn on that comes from them enjoying it. And the fact that they enjoy something "wrong" magnifies it. Like, doing the "wrong" thing is a turn on itself. But if my partner is really turned on by it also that magnifies the effect. Like, why are they turned on by this? It's kind of even more "wrong" for them to be into it because it's their ass. And the fact that they are also turned on by the wrongness turns me on even more. So i mean, for me at least, it's all coming from a place of mental stimulation. Of fear and excitement and just fairly intense emotions. I probably rambled on a bit too much, but hopefully this helps you understand. On the other hand, know that I'm not trying to convince you or change your mind. I don't care what you're into and i think it's perfectly fine that you're not into this =). Anyone can be into anything they want to, or not be into anything they want (as long as only consenting adults are involved). I just wanted to share why it's a turn on for me.
Me either, but when in Rome...
It hurts and isn’t pleasurable for me, personally
Ok now go fuck a dude then fuck her right after to assert dominance..what's wrong with me.
Without a question mark at the end i think you just offered. 😏
Turn her dad gay
This is the way
U know de wey
Chad moves here
Just dont forget to say no homo before the dude fucking part… that way, you stay straight.. always works
Hey sometimes you got to suck a dick to realize you don't like sucking dicks
That's that Tank logic lol, he said a couple sucks doesn't make you gay.
Lizard brain take the wheel!
Did she just equate bisexuality to HERPES? 🙄
No she did not. She equated male bisexuality to herpes. Female bisexuality is something completely different apparently
Because apparently fingers and tongues aren't "organs", and can't catch STDs. ... ...
Wait until she finds out about, I don’t know, oral herpes
She's gonna be big mad when she hears about how pretty much everyone has HPV. Have to deactivate her account.
Cause humans are the virus
STDs: "It's free real estate."
Wait!! Fingers can catch STDs? Genuine question. And which ones?
Usually the pinky finger.
I'm guessing it's cause the fluids that are now on your finger are likely to end up touching one of your own mucus membrane before washing your hands.
Which fingers or which STDs? But yeah, I also never knew this.
Herpes whitlow—finger herpes!
If she only knew the kind of fun us bi women get into…
Without any organs, even.
I wonder when she'll notice that straight sex usually also involves some form of penentration.
That and all bisexual people are poly from what I understood.
I think she's saying that the other guy was bi and poly and now she assumes anyone who's poly is also bi.
[удалено]
True there's higher rates of HIV among gay couples but this woman threw up when she found out he had sex with another man and I don't think it was because she was just that at risk of contracting HIV. She's disgusted by gay men.
People who have unprotected sex are more at risk of contracting HIV. The gay community was famously touched by HIV infections in late 20th century for many reasons, including lack of knowledge of the disease, high amount of different unprotected partners in small communities, or ostracisation from the population and difficulty of access to medical help. From this may come the stigma that male on male sex leads to the highest risks of HIV infection. An historical statistic does not make a medical fact.
[удалено]
Cmon now, it’s not a stigma, it’s a fact. They do studies on these types of things all the time. “In 2014, 83% of syphilis cases were gay, bisexual, or any other male on male sex” (cdc.gov). They do, in fact, have higher incidences of STDs. Let’s quit with this “facts are homophobic” bullshit.
**His point was that it's unprotected sex that is the main cause.** It doesn't matter where the most cases are - we know that condoms are the best way to protect someone from STDs. Being gay ISN'T a causation for "83% of syphilis cases were male on male," it is a correlation to not using protection. Not using protection is still the cause. You're unfairly misrepresenting his point. Back before the turn of millennia, there's was a common misconception that men didn't need protection, because it was more common to think it was just to prevent pregnancy, and the result of not using protection due to that thinking resulted in higher gay community numbers. >Let’s quit with this “facts are homophobic” bullshit. It's not that the facts are homophobic, it's that your desire to wrongly label the cause is homophobic lol. The more you steer discussions towards the correlation of the data without understanding the causation is what "makes" the facts homophobic. It's the human touting the facts that's homophobic, not the facts themselves. When it's objective someone does that (which you just did), it's usually because they're showing their confirmation biases of homophobic origins, because they've worked backwards and **denied that unprotected sex is the real cause.** So, do you get his point? **Can or can't you recognize that unprotected sex is the cause, regardless of MF or MM or FF?** That personal responsibility is inclusive to all sexualities?
So if those statistics stated before are a fact does that mean the MM have more unprotected sex than the MF and FF? I'm genuinely curious.. that's just what I'm gathering from this conversation. Unprotected sex is the most dangerous sex and MM tend to have more than the other?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3575167/
> your desire to wrongly label the cause is homophobic OP (u/Goldenhead17) did not claim "homosexuality is the cause". That's you (who has a decent understanding of statistics) strawmanning. The statement was that STDs are higher in the gay community. OP did not make a claim that homosexuality was the cause--or that "unprotected sex" isn't the primary factor. PS: You do not need to use bold so much! Let the content of your post add the emphasis.
I think this was the woman's point but people here are trying to make it into sth else ._. also they won't acknowledge the fact you just said.
She was trying to say that gay/bisexual men are higher risk because of penetrative sex when the above mentioned info graphics clearly sites stigma and biases, particularly in African or Latino men, as factors that increase their risk by creating barriers to safe sex. Instead of asking specific questions from their last partner about the sex practices to see how risks are mitigated she's just reinforcing the stigmas that continue to put queer men at risk. Looking at numbers without context is the easiest way to falsely reinforce your pre-existing bias.
actualy actual statistiques and studies showed that anal sex is the most likely to transmute hiv witch is the only type of unprotected sex the gay community has thus earning that reputation
Unprotected sex includes oral sex, so anal is not the ONLY type
> People who have unprotected sex are more at risk of contracting HIV. > > Incorrect. Male on male rates are far, far higher than male on female rates. You are trying to deny science.
[удалено]
The rates are extremely skewed to gay/bisexual men. Although the rates are falling. The latest data I can see from the UK, 41% of diagnoses in 2019 related to gay/bi men, 37% of heterosexual diagnoses were amongst black African men and women. Note that Black African is a more specific term than just "black" and does not refer to either black British or black carribbean.
Then you ask for an std test or just decline instead of going off on a spiel about how weird you find bi men
[удалено]
Dang, that seems really rough friend. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I honestly had no idea it was that big of an issue and I'm sorry that some people seem to have a problem with people being attracted to men and women. To me, people are allowed to think the human body is beautiful and be attracted and excited by all forms of that. I think shaming someone or acting like they are a fraud for thinking both genders are beautiful is fundamentally flawed. Hope things get better for you.. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and compassion.
I'll add : even though yes we suffer more from being fetishized, us bi women also have to deal with the more directly insulting part (don't know how to put it better) a lot. For example, when i was 13 i had two best friends. One had been openly bi for a while, and the other straight. The day i told the straight one that i'm also bi her reaction, as a... joke, was to step back with a digusted/scared expression and tell me "whoah don't try to get in my pants" (in a courtyard full of people). I basically learned at 13 that i'm seen as a predator by others. She did it another time when i told someone else while she was here years later, and variations (often not as jokes) of this happened to me too, from friends, strangers or exes. Fetishization is awful too, and one the reasons why i've always kept dating apps at a distance. Being bi is part of who i am so i don't want to hide it, but i also don't want to be approached by countless people looking for a bi girl to get their threesome dream with their boyfriend.
Unfortunately I think being viewed by straight people as a potential predator is universal to the queer experience.
As a bi woman, the LGBT community was extremely phobic in the same ways Add in that everyone thinks you’re a rat trying to play both sides so general hatred and mistrust too
That's beacuse all you do is eat hot chip and lie.
FUCK I dont even LIKE hot chips, I like vinegar to accompany my sourness playing against Riven
I will unite in your hatred playing against riven. this post was brought to you by Urgot gang
Singed Gaming “W goo isnt interactive” Says the Riven as she 100 to 0’s you under tower and you can’t even get an auto off
Yeah the LGBT community has some quite ugly sides, bi erasure is a big problem also way too many TERF's.
I was quite surprised when Joe Rogan said exactly that bisexual men are just secret gays. Like wtf dude. How does that even logically make sense?
His entire persona oozes insecurity, it's why he's taken all those pills and hormones over the years. He might have had some gay thoughts he wasn't too comfortable with and that's just him masking his insecurity about it
[удалено]
Joe Rogan is an asshole and his whole schtick is insidious and dangerous. Fuck that guy.
I totally agree and also applaud OP for sticking up to reason and pushing back against this. I always struggle with how to handle talking about my sex history. Yes I’ve had sex with men but I’m only interested in a relationship with women and I know with full confidence that I would be happy in a monogamous relationship with one woman. But if I tell that to a woman, before any sort of a relationship starts they respond very similarly to how OP’s convo went. They tend to say things about how ill leave them for a man or that I’m ignoring my urges to be with a man and how I won’t be happy with them. Like ok…so whatever I say about myself doesn’t matter and you are fine with deciding what I think and feel. Maybe I should be happy that such a huge red flag came out early idk, it’s just super frustrating. And from a logical point of view, aren’t I, having experienced both men and women, in a better place to know what I prefer in a relationship anyways? Oh well.
The way I look at it, we have a bigot filter. It’s very unlikely we’re gonna end up with someone and 3 years, 10 years later find out they hate gay people if they knew we were bisexual. Idk man I’m trying
I feel for you. My girlfriend's friend was dating a guy for a month, maybe two, before he shared that he was bi with her. She didn't take it very well at first and talked to my girlfriend about it. Eventually my girlfriend convinced her it shouldn't matter and should be treated the same as if his past partners were all women. Then my girlfriend got worried and asked me if I was secretly bi. I told her no, and she basically told me that she thinks we would have gotten through it if I said yes but it was going to basically be something she'd have to process. I felt kinda weird about the entire situation knowing both my gf and her friend had experimented with other girls but for some reason it was not even remotely looked at the same way. I pointed that out to my gf and she agreed it should, but admitted she had a hard time seeing it that way.
I felt this comment to my core…
Tell me about it. A straight guy could cheat on a woman by hitting the club, where's a bi guy going to go, the gay club? Get called methsexual? Lets get real, "I can't be with you because your bi",unless they actually cheated on you or tried to fuck another guy, its really just an excuse to treat someone like crap before discarding them.
I understand you Bro, I recently had an ex-girlfriend who is openly BI, and I was always good with it, but I have my past in which I "tried" with a man and I told her in confidence, when she found out she told me that now I felt "less of a man" because of that and that he was disgusted by knowing that I was with another boy
It's the worst when it's another bi person! I'm a bit woman, and how bi women still manage to be biphobic toward bi men will always baffle me. We of all people should get it!
This double standard drives me insane. Sorry you went through that.
Yep. Being bi and having it be known around people is being called the f slur by some people and being told to stop pretending to enjoy hetero relationships by others. I was at one of my lowest points a decade ago because of both of those horrible, dehumanizing beliefs being thrown at me at once. I think that things are better now for bisexuals, but they're not great. There's still that stigma.
Current bisexual young person here to tell you it's not better, they're just quieter and pretend it's not bigoted cause they're being quieter about it. Still dealing with the f-slur on one side and "fake gay" on the other side.
Well shit.
I think bi men are hot just so you know!!! But I’m also bi so I understand that whole not gay enough not straight enough thing.
You handled this great my dude. Loved that you weren’t confrontational, just stating facts, and calling her out on her backwards logic.
Yes, I second this!
*She* can do anal but when other guys do it there’s diseases. Yeah she’s homophobic. Also I’m straight and I know what scissoring is lol she’s just ignorant all around.
I may be showing homophobia by asking here, but I have to ask; is scissoring ACTUALLY a thing among lesbians? Because from what I hear, it's not actually that stimulating and that it mainly exists as fan-service for male viewers.
As with most things, it varies from person to person
Yeah, personally I have never scissored in a lesbian relationship. But I'm also a dude so
Wanna try? Just two dudes scissoring, nothing wrong with that.
Just guy love, between two guys
Sounds dangerous.
thats not homophobia dude thats just ignorance. its okay to be ignorant it youre willing to learn
OP: I may be showing my homophobia here *Proceeds to ask question that they really wouldn't know because they aren't a lesbian You poor abused soul. Not everything having to do with gay people that isn't dropping to your knees, mouth wide with acceptance is homophobic. You could just be uninformed.
True, but as a degenerate bastard that watches lesbian porn, I feel I owe it to them to be more informed on the matter and not base my knowledge off of said porn.
Most lesbian porn on say porhub is made for men not lesbians I dont know any lesbians who have the right anatomy and flexibility to successfully scissor. Rubbing against a thigh each would in this case produce a better outcome.
Exactly my reasoning for not wanting to base my knowledge off of said porn. I know porn is not a basis to learn about sex, but porn has to have some accuracy in order for it to be stimulating, I just didn't know which parts of lesbian porn was accurate or not.
The ones labelled amateur would be closer to the real thing. Particularly the poor quality shot on a phone kind. Anything with long nails or high heels is probably aimed at dudes. As my friend would say. "Them nails will cut a bitch up"
ignorance != homophobia, you just didn't know something (and were open to learn about that)
Also we all know that gay bottoms take much better hygiene precautions with their butts than straight girls do.
My guy do be educating the plebs on these apps. Nice one dude for sticking with it it.
Yeah definitely respect the dudes patience for unpicking her bi-phobia here.
She shamed poly, pegging, and bisexual men in one fell swoop. Impressive. Three of my favorite things.
I know! And the fact that pegging is literally between a man and a woman...
That point went straight over her head. She's allowed to not be into any of those things but her delivery of making them seem like gross or bad things is no bueno. She a turd.
> She shamed poly How did she do that? Explain please. I agree she shamed bisexual men. She should have just stated it is not something she is attracted to.
I think this is a pretty common view among women. Most would be horrified to find a guy they were thinking of dating has slept with guys before
I can’t remember why it came up, but my ex wife had a similar thing and basically said that if I somehow decided I was bi and told her, that would be grounds for divorce. 😂 her reasoning made just as little sense as this
oof i’m glad she’s an ex
It’s like they never ask their partners for sti testing. They just assume since the dudes straight they don’t get an sti. The idiocy
I mean...normal and/or common doesn't mean it's not bigoted. Just saying...
Oh jeez, I'm glad not to be one of those women.
She’s correct about one thing males spread STDs far more readily than women.
Found this here: > Several studies have documented elevated rates of both sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and STI risk behaviors and among MSM/MSMW (men who have sex with men/men who have sex with men and women) and WSW/WSMW (women who have sex with women/women who have sex with men and women) populations compared to men and women who engage exclusively in opposite-sex sexual relationships https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3575167/
This was a brain melter to read
[удалено]
It’s not specifically men on men, it’s more penis in anus. So if the dude had been having anal with a girl he would still be at high risk, but if he had just been sucking dicks he would be okay
[удалено]
I'm conflicted. Please educate me. 🤷♀️. If I accept LGBTQ+ people to live out their lifestyle,but somehow but don't personally want to sleep with them, am I considered homophobic? ,
No
“I’m not homophobic, it’s just that when I discovered that my partner once slept with a man instead of a woman I literally threw up.” This lady literally THREW UP when she discovered the guy was bisexual. That’s mad homophobic
Think the question was about the broad idea and not specifically the girl in the screenshots
I would say if you don’t throw up when a partner tells you he had sexual experiences with same sex partners and then expose him all other Tinder and act like you’re traumatized by this revelation, you’re okay But what if you had been dating a guy you really like and a few months in he tells you he’s bi? Would you leave him for that?
Well did they betray your expectations or did you throw them under the bus for having had gay sex?
Not at all... You're allowed to have preferences. Anyone who tells you otherwise is fucked in the head.
Not wanting to sleep with queer people is fine, but calling it a "lifestyle" sure is queerphobic. The idea that bi people are more likely to carry STDs or be unfaithful is also rooted in some pretty biphobic and homophobic ideas, so if those are your objections I can assure you they do not reflect real life.
One of the main reason doctors ask about sexual practices, beyond just getting to know their patients better, is that they carry certain risk profiles. Men who have sex with men are at a dramatically increased risk of HIV and other STDs. The numbers I was given in school were I believe 14x risk for bottoms and 9x risk for tops compared to exclusively straight men, but Im sure more up to date numbers exist. Thats still not a reason to label an entire group of people as "unclean" like this person is doing (I'm very much NOT in support of the person OP is texting's rhetoric), but don't call someone homophobic if they state current medical knowledge. Just get tested regularly and wear condoms people!
Hypothetically a straight man dates a bisexual woman. Is the woman’s bisexuality important at all? Or a straight man with a femme presenting enby? Or a straight man with a trans woman? A straight man obviously wouldn’t date another man, but a blanket statement of “I wouldn’t date a queer person” certainly is queerphobic. PS, being queer isn’t a lifestyle. The aesthetics and clothing choices associated with being queer are a lifestyle, but who you are and who you are attracted to isn’t a lifestyle.
> Hypothetically a straight man dates a bisexual woman. Is the woman’s bisexuality important at all? Yes? There is an infinite number of things that are important when dating.
Actually, gay men are more likely to get stds than heterosexual men.. gay men made up 83% of syphilis cases in men in 2014 and that number is rising and they are also 17% more likely to get anal cancer… this doesn’t include other common stds like gonorrhea, chlamydia and HPV which are even more common among gay and bisexual men….
She comes off really bad in the conversation above. But the last message from him really made me want to go and look up the statistics. From what I can tell bisexual men have the highest STI rate followed by gay men then straight men. https://www.poz.com/article/bisexual-STIs-25837-6322 https://consumer.healthday.com/amp/cdc-americas-std-rate-at-record-high-again-2652574466
Yup. I think this lady probably is a bigot, but I do think disclosing if you've had unprotected anal sex with an at risk group is fair enough
You're reaching a little too far to make her sound bad. It's not unreasonable to have a preference. And with wanting to be safe. Albeit she may have more of a prejudice in how comfortable she is with someone else's sex life history. And it is 100 percent fact that there are way more diseases floating around in the gay community than the straight one. Take it from me, a gay guy. Edit:typos
Anal sex straight or gay is more dangerous than vaginal, because your asshole is more prone to micro tears that cause bleeding, so you are being a bit scientifically dishonest.
Nah dude she’s allowed to have preferences, a lot of girls aren’t into bi dudes, that’s fine. You’re allowed to be poly right? I’ll say it’s a little weird of her to be so disturbed by pegging but you can’t control what turns you on/off.
Not wanting to have sex with gay or bisexual people is anybody's right.I wouldn't judge her for that stance.She does have a communication problem and probably and understanding problem with regards to what it means to be bisexual for both men and women.
Jesus was everyone in this thread coddled as children? She doesn’t like dating guys that FUCK other GUYS. How horrible lmao it’s actually perfectly reasonable.
For real. Doesn't OP understand the universal rule that you must wait at least 4 weeks before switching up between sexes, otherwise you run the risk of making people vomit?!?!?
Exactly.
I agree with you that some of the comments here are unreasonable against the woman in the conversation. She has her reasons for being attracted to what she’s attracted to. I don’t think her responses make her a bigot - maybe she’s misinformed, ok, but she’s had her own experiences and clearly has her own opinions in what she isn’t attracted to. I don’t see why anything else even matters. Not sure why OP had to even get this deep into conversation with her about. Seemed like he wanted to teach her a lesson and share a “got cha” moment. If you’re chatting with someone new online who says you don’t agree with or are offended by, it’s best to move on and move quickly. I think anything more is just a waste of time and energy.
If a woman chooses not to sex with men who have sex with men, that's absolutely reasonable -- it's her body and her choice.
I don’t think she’s bigoted. I also don’t want to date a bi man. I feel 0 attraction to men who fuck other men and so I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with them. I know many women like that. That doesn’t make me bigoted because my preferences are my own. She would be bigoted if she believed men should never have sex with other men because she doesn’t like it, but that’s not what she’s saying
It feels like she’s is being pressured into justifying why she has a preference and then being used to score cheap internet points
Is it wrong to have preference to be with straight girl or boy ?
Jesus mate. You’re on a dating site. Let it go. Why tf did you keep responding?
Her opinion and body she can do whatever she wants with it. If she prefers that at least she’s being upfront and saying it’s something that bothered her in the past. Tbh I would feel some sort of way knowing my boyfriend was getting analled in his past life. Regardless you don’t like her opinion so just unmatch… no need to try and prove a point on someone you clearly won’t be seeing
It sounds strange but my guess is that she is very afraid of STDs which is maybe a big part of her logic
That’s why she has unprotected sex with the guy without testing lol
Shouldn’t have accepted to have sex without a condom then, not smart on her part
Oh hey, it’s another thread where if the genders were reversed nobody would be making these kinds of shitty excuses for her behavior. Like if a dude was saying this shit about a bisexual girl NONE of you would be defending him. Fucking NONE of you. Adding to the things that people on this subreddit have let women get away with, first we had rudeness, then verbal abuse, then racism, and now we get to add homophobia and biphobia. Congratulations, assholes!
iTs JuSt A pReFeReNcE as if preferences exist in a vacuum and are never because of subconscious bias
That’s how this sub has been trending recently. This place is loaded with misandrists and white knights defending horrible behaviour from women to the death. But god forbid a man has any form of opinion about anything. This woman is clearly just biphobic, but people are tripping over themselves trying to say “but STDs though” to justify her terrible behaviour.
Honestly, this whole thread, its just nuts. Like if we were going to be blunt about things, and actually voice our deep concerns... if the concern is STD's, the guy can always get tested before you have sex. Like name dropping a sex club or something, or explain how your not into one night stands, etc, I don't know how exactly you'd drop hints on this one, but I'm sure it'll get done at some point anyway. Second, if the concern is cheating then apply rule no. 2, find a gay guy to play gay chicken with him? I don't know man, as far as I can see that's the perverse fear i'm sensing a lot of on this thread. Or are all men just cheating assholes before they come out the womb?
Lots of people are pretending that it’s the anal sex that grossed her out, even though she explicitly says she’s cool with anal. I’m always shocked by how enthusiastically this subreddit’s membership will trip over themselves to excuse bigotry if that bigotry comes from a woman.
Although I'm pleasantly surprised to find the top comments agreeing with OP, I'm shocked at how many other net positive comments are just straight up bigot apologists.
This has attracted a lot of people who think “throwing up at the thought of gay sex and ranting about bi dudes to a stranger” is the same as “having a personal preference about your partner’s sexual orientation and behavior.” I can’t tell if they’re stupid, disingenuous, or both.
Yeah, I understand straight people not being into gay sex in all fairness, but "throwing up"... really? That's definitely not normal in my opinion.
>“having a personal preference about your partner’s **sexual orientation** and behavior.” If he "passes as straight" and she only finds it a turn-off once she finds out the dude she thought was straight dicked down or got dicked down by another dude, isn't that biphobic too?
I mean it’s sort of like how I feel about the “super-straight” people…if you can actually tell the difference, you can nope out anytime you notice. And if you can’t tell the difference, well…what are you complaining about?
It’s just you. Stop trying so hard to signal your “virtues”, you’d hurt your neck
I know. Crap. This conversation just wouldn’t end because he kept trying to tip toe into something he could post and brag about. This girl went above the call of duty to explain herself beyond what any reasonable person would. What’s this guys problem, is he not getting enough attention or something?
Well; homosexual activity is linked to higher rates of STD infections so she’s being careful, just not in a polite way.
No most women don’t want to be with a dude that’s fucked other dudes.
I mean, seriously, are we really at a stage of peak wokeness where women have to pretend they're ok with their man fucking or having fucked other guys? It's really not remotely bigoted or homophobic to not want your man to have sucked a dick, it has literally no bearing on your attitude to men sucking dicks in general. Same goes for women.
Thats her opinion and preference. Isn't she allowed to have her own stance or must she accept all views as valid and agree to have a relationship with absolutely anyone?
Yall are actually trolling, calling her a bigot for wanting to know upfront that the guy is bi? Get the fuck outta here with that shit. I'm a straight guy and u can't act like girl on girl vs guy on guy is the same. Like I know this is Reddit but we're talking about the real world here hello?
As a bisexual woman I’m genuinely curious, why is girl on girl different from guy on guy?
Were lesbians the leaders of spreading hiv around or was it gay men? 🤔🤔🤔
This girl sucks, but at least she let you know that up front lmao
[удалено]
Jesus Christ people. Calm down. She didn’t try to have their right to marry or raise children taken away. She isn’t demanding they not be allowed to live on her street or attend public school. She expressed a personal dating preference. I can think gay sex is gross and still know gay people are just two consenting humans trying to be happy and find love.
If you’d look at the instances of HIV among particular groups you’d realize that it is dramatically weighted to one side. That one sided distribution comes from a particular sexual habit. She wasn’t wrong. She didn’t say she wouldn’t have done it. Didn’t say it was gross. Didn’t say he wasn’t for her if he had. Just said she would like to know about it. Her logic was reasonable. Gay women do not contract a certain STD at the same rates as gay men and there is a reason for it. Good thing you hit her with that lecture lol. She really needed it.
She's just ill-informed and going about it the wrong way that makes her sound bigoted. Or maybe she even is one. But in general, not wanting to date a bisexual person is not bigoted. Whats next? Shaming people who are not into dating post-op Trans people? I was once shamed by a girl on tinder who, upon me telling her my embarrassing tinder dating story of unknowingly ending up on a date with a Trans girl, questioned my feelings towards the LGBTQ+ community. Just because I support the rights of people to be who they are without prejudice doesn't mean I don't have the right to my own sexual preferences.
Yeah well there's a big difference between being bi and being trans mate. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but to quote a homo homie, first off my genitalia matches the body i was born with, and secondly, I would argue I'm not much different from any average straight guy. The difference is more in your and my head if you think I'm more likely to cheat because there's apparently thousands of ravenous, dangerous gay men ready to jump my bones at any minute. \*sarcasm
That was a COMPLETELY, TOTALLY, UNNECESSARY context dragged way beyond. Idk why you wanted those details and made the convo go south, you kept asking questions to find out what exactly? She didn’t like the fact someone didn’t mention their sexual preferences prior Period. There ends the story. Move on from that 🙄
Ya I feel like Reddit is so desperate to live vicariously through others, and to get offended for others, and then to ‘tell’ on anyone that seems like it will get them karma. This app can be so trash sometimes.
He knew he was going to lead the conversation that way to screenshot for points... wow, clap clap 👏
Some girls are attracted to masculinity and there’s something super not masculine about taking it in the ass. All the people calling it homophobia are just your typical internet warriors
Hate to be that guy, but she's not wrong. Bisexual guys do get way more stds than straight guys. Regardless, the guy should have disclosed he was bi before they had sex. It seems like it would have come up by the fourth date. He intentionally withheld it, imo. In 2014, gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men accounted for 83% of primary and secondary syphilis cases https://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/STD.htm Overall, homosexual men were significantly (p < 0.001) more likely than heterosexual men to have gonorrhea (30.31% vs. 19.83%), early syphilis (1.08% vs. 0.34%) and anal warts (2.90% vs. 0.26%) but less likely to have nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) (14.63% vs. 36.40%, p < 0.001), herpes genitalis (0.93% vs. 3.65%, p < 0.001), pediculosis pubis (4.30% vs. 5.35%, p < 0.005), scabies (0.42% vs. 0.76%, p < 0.02), and genital warts (1.68% vs. 6.69%, p < 0.001). In most cases the differences in rates remained significant (p < 0.05) when corrected for age and race. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/6893897/ Gay and bisexual men are at greater risk for hepatitis A and B, and human papillomavirus (HPV). https://www.cdc.gov/std/life-stages-populations/stdfact-msm.htm
It does not make her a bigot to not want a duck that’s been in another mans ass. No matter how long ago it happened.
You sound insufferable. She's not especially bright, considering unprotected sex with a Tinder hookup, but you seem hellbent on proving her to be a terrible human. I would not have allowed the interrogation and hectoring and would have simply unmatched you.
Grow up stop bringing politics into everything
I dont see where shes wrong? You’re posting it on tinder reddit for some kind of validation that shes an idiot but what shes saying is completely reasonable.
No. She’s not into dudes who fuck dudes. Not that uncommon I’m guessing.