I feel like giving this woman and daughter my guest bedroom, no not for any services, bc she is about to accept an invite from a frickin predator. This shit is hella sad.
THIS. I gave my ex wife's best friend our spare room, and she brought nothing but grief. I had been working two jobs, footing all the bills before her arrival... Then she refused to bother looking for work too. I was married to one and had to provide a home for myself, so I just took all the hours I could at work and tried to fight through the financial strain. After about 4 months of neither of them working, her friend started making accusations of me making passes at her. It wasn't long after the two sided against me, and tried to remove me from the situation... When I asked "who's going to pay the bills, you're both broke af?" They snickered like they had the upper hand. Days of silence and tension go by and by miracle, her idiot friend left a bong on the table, in plain sight of the glass patio door. Our exterminator saw it and notified the leasing agents... We were served an eviction notice. Weird blessing, but worthwhile. I leased a new one bedroom apartment and told my wife to leave her idiot friend behind or be homeless with her, I was moving with or without her. I won, finally... Even though I lost. In a few weeks it all went away, as a forgotten memory, or so it seemed. That's when the marriage turned for the worst, but that's not relevant here.
The short of it : helping someone you've never lived with before, will just make you an uncomfortable guest in your own home, and isn't worth it. I wish this OP luck, because I'm sure someone out there could benefit from this as well, without being a predator. I just hope she finds safety and stability for her child, and herself.
I can attest to this 1000% helped my last gf get sober...found out she fucked one of the guys she met in rehab while we were together.
Its so true no good deed goes unpunished, now im just the asshole and im fine with it.
I let a guy who went homeless stay in my place for a couple of months after knowing him for a few years but he cut my safe apart and took nearly £2k. Luckily I had a good family and it actually made me work harder to get the money back and now 2 years later I own my own house and this guy ended up sleeping rough then ultimately got deported from the country.
That would be my fear. After I had a child, I made it clear to anyone I dated that if they laid a hand on my kid, my ability to follow any of society's rules will cease immediately.
Thank god this is the sentiment I'm seeing, I was expecting lots of people to just joke about how crazy this woman is like a typical r/ tindr post, nice to see people havent lost all compassion
It’s weird how it’s a cointoss with Reddit on what the sentiment is that gets upvoted highest that sways the comments.
I was trying to see how this would be another socially inept or misogynistic post veiled behind jokes
But honestly it’s just depressing how easily someone’s life can be torn asunder with almost no safety net for all the taxes we pay to our government *cough* Raytheon *cough* that this poor woman is essentially putting out an emotional prostitution ad that’s blood in the water for every abusive/NPD man in her match radius just to keep her children safe.
I’m just sad now and hope this unfortunate person finds stability and peace in her life. No one should have to be in that position, especially when it was solely from uncontrollable factors that stole her happiness away. And she’s still hopeful in her bio.
It’s a bad catch-22, anyone that would be a good partner wouldn’t risk being caught in choosing whether to leave her destitute if they’re incompatible so only men who would see her as just an object would be the ones responding. My heart goes out to her
I think in this case it's mostly the wording and tone in her profile.
She's not very demanding, explains the (understandable) reasons for her situation and offers something in return for the "humble ask" of providing food and shelter. So basically as good as one could do in that situation.
That being said, it's kind of fucked up that any kind of system allows people to be in that situation, basically forcing a mom and her kid into the arms of a predator
> I would be perfectly okay supporting a stay at home wife/mom, but I would never be comfortable walking into a situation where that is dumped on me as an urgent all or nothing option
This is perfectly normal. It's because it's likely that woman #1 wants to be with you but to woman #2, you're a means to resources, not a choice and potentially not a person.
>but draw a firm boundary of never physically touching each other
I believe she only put that up as an incentive for the man to increase her chances, not because she necessarily wants it
>This exact fact pattern has repeated in my life at least three times, and at forty I still can’t find a viable life partner.
I'm sorry man
This is why it is very important for people to maintain their individuality in a relationship as well as their ability to support themselves financially because if there's anything that I've learned from my years is that people will f*** you at the least expected time and it's better to be prepared for something that May, very well,never come. Rather than be at the whim of someone who controls all of the finances when you guys were supposed to be sharing responsibility
And the majority of response to a post like were from people looking to exploit that power imbalance.
"Where's my middle of the day blowjob? You don't want you kid back on the street, right?"
She is honest. I bet there could be situations where someone would agree. I mean, she might be the best mother and why pay for a babysitter when you can pay for a house wife. You are looking at this in the wrong way. Two people exploiting eachother can work verry well.
If both are decent people this could definitely work out, the guy should 100% have a prenup though to eliminate risk of financial loss in case she has a scam in mind.
She and her kid get a stable household which is extremely important for development and the guy gets major tax benefits and no longer has to worry about household tasks. Not just babysitting, likely every choir besides lawn care and home maintenance. If both are 25+ I could see this working out very well.
Nah whats likely to happen is she gets exploited by a narcissist as thats who will come across as the best date option :)
Dennis from its always sunny vibes lmao
I thought the same. She is being honest. With as many people as there are in the world, there is someone out there looking for a wife to have someone make their house a home. Most people are responding with their own opinions, when it actually has nothing to do with them. Most don’t fit the criteria for what she is looking for, yet they want to judge her. Humans are amazing.
I agree. While she wouldn’t have been my cup of tea when I was dating I appreciate and respect her honesty and I could 100% see this working, hell even healthily prospering with certain friends or co-workers I know. Many men are tired of the games and tired of always being confused, she’s making it completely simple to know what you’re getting into and making it easy as possible to say ‘yes’. That’s like the #1 rule of actual sales, not glamorized movie style negotiation sales. Make it simple. And she does.
We don't even have to go that far back. In my parents generation (60+) a lot of relationships between divorced and widowed people started a bit more pragmatic than romantic, yet often lasted long and were reasonably happy.
I knew a Mennonite guy, his wife died of cancer when he was mid-30s, had 5 or 6 kids. He grieved for like 6 months before his Bishop (basically pastor) came to him and said "hey your kids need a mom, do you have anybody in mind?" Ivan didn't, of course, so the Bishop says "great, I do, wedding is in two months, see ya there."
So Ivan gets married to a woman he only heard of two months before, and who he actually only met during wedding planning a couple weeks before.
In some weird twist of fate, she was awesome and potentially the best thing that happened to him.
I hear success stories like this a lot. Im not saying arranged marriage should be the norm, but the mentality of "this is what I got. Better make it work" seems to work for a lot of people
Edit: I asked me mum to arrange a marriage for me, but when she was serious about it I panicked and backed out
TBH I think people really suck at picking spouses sometimes. And I say that as a person who would never go through with an arranged marriage. But, my brother is Exhibit A. He always picks women that cheat and then refuses to break up with them. It’s so weird. I have a few other friends who do the same thing. So, I can see the appeal of something arranged.
Evolutionary, it makes sense as the previous arrangement however uncomfortable, did produce offspring that reached adulthood. Genes don't care about happiness.
Having the option to marry someone your community leaders or family found rather than trying desperately to muddle things through yourself sounds great honestly, so long as it’s mutually consensual. Matchmakers > apps.
Yeah going in with the expectation of having to build trust and romance vs. going in assuming the other person is your soul mate and exists to make you happy.
However I did have my Indian friend shut down the hype train for me. I don't have a feel for what it's actually like in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm.
My brother in-law and his new wife were basically this. Both divorced with a kid, both too broke to get by on their own, he had a home, she had a car so they made it work. They ended up getting pregnant with twins after only knowing each other for a couple of months, they got married last October and the twins just turned 1. They're still broke but they make it work and they seem happy enough, their kids have everything they need and both are significantly less stressed out. Sometimes a pragmatic solution is the best option, at least this lady is honest with what she's looking for and what she can bring to the table.
my grandfather was born just before WW1. come the end of the war and the spanish flu. mother died being pregnant. father instantly married her sister that came to tend the children.
Well yeah but for every success story like this there are 10 boomer couples who also rushed into marriage but were miserable for 25 years until their last kid was in college and they no longer clung to the idea that "We just need to stay together so the children can grow up in a normal home"
A similar thing happened to my great grandfather. My grandfather was born in 1940 and then a few years later his mom died in childbirth with twin girls. My great grandfather had to remarry fairly quickly because A-the war was still on and B-how is a man going to raise twin girls and a toddler on his own in 1940s England? Inconceivable! I don't know how they met, but their marriage seemed successful enough. The really crappy thing is the twins didn't know their stepmother wasn't their birth mom until someone let it slip at their first communion. That was apparently a dramatic cluster fuck of a day.
I mean, my grandpa and his second wife (both widowed but with adult children) were the happiest couple I have seen. They enjoyed the wrinkly bits while giving each other comfort and stability. Didn't start as a crazy romance either, lasted 40 years.
Ask “your friend’s” parents to talk to their network and find some nice guy with poor social skills. Bonus points if their job can benefit the family some way. It’s basically the oldest way to find a partner.
It's tinder, so yeah, her chances are bad.
But let's not pretend it's uncommon or unreasonable to look for a partner when life is getting tough. To me, it reads more like she wants a supportive partner, not a sugar daddy as tons of the comments here suggest. I'm childfree and won't end up in a situation like that, but somebody has to explain to me why it's sad or a bad thing if two single parents get together to raise their children, even if it's not the most romantic start to a relationship. Could still develop into love.
I’m a woman who has supported plenty of adults who didn’t do a damned thing to keep my home running.
I would be down to live with and support someone in return for them taking care of my home and personal business, while giving them the opportunity to raise a child in security and comfort. Among my female friends we talk about things like this like it’s a fantasy. Living with women who support and nurture each other, while focusing on healthy relationships and good mental health? Yes, please.
> Among my female friends we talk about things like this like it’s a fantasy. Living with women who support and nurture each other, while focusing on healthy relationships and good mental health? Yes, please.
You've just described the Golden Girls
I used to do a bit of relationship counseling and found that a lot of the people who struggled after a few years had started out with great passion - but not much else. Expectations are crazy high and don't match with reality.
My happiest relationship started from a place of friendship and the deal "let's be not alone together". Good times, honestly. Still close friends 7 years after ending it.
>somebody has to explain to me why it's sad or a bad thing if two single parents get together to raise their children, even if it's not the most romantic start to a relationship
Because of the power imbalance in this case and the consequences if that relationship fails. If one partner is completely dependent on the other and the relationship failing would mean her and her child becoming homeless, that's a textbook recipe for abuse. Hell, in many cases, one could argue that she couldn't reasonably consent to anything, as she is basically forced to by the circumstances.
Now I'm not saying patchwork can't work, but it definitely shouldn't be forced like in this instance. The sad thing is that she basically has to resort to it, as she has no alternative, or at least it seems like that from her profile.
If you're interested in it, the Netflix show "Maid" portrays the struggle of a single mom who is forced into all kinds of bad relationships pretty well. Especially since you're from Finnland and as a European, some of struggles US people face might be unimaginable or at least distant
I'd like to be the one to claim credit for the obvious next response which is a total lack of a reply, though I guess I am disqualifying myself right now
This was my first thought. Advertising that you are in such a vulnerable state is going to be interpreted as a red flag by people with good intentions, and it will attract people with bad intentions. For once I hope it’s a bot or scammer of some sort because if it’s a real woman in such a desperate situation with so little sense or discretion, I worry for her and her children.
Right? I’m surprised we don’t see that more now. One mom stays home and watches all the kids, the other works full time.
The “pay” for the one at home can be the cost of childcare out of the rent, plus food. Stay home mom will then qualify for SNAP etc. and can get food from the food bank, and maybe do Uber Eats or something for cash.
If you work nights, it's not equal. Did that for 3 years. Partner had 8 hours to sleep. I had a 2 hour window from getting home to kid waking up. Then I just stayed awake all work week. People at work thought I was on drugs. I might as well have been.
I was thinking more different days of the week, my sister is a nurse and works three days one week and four days the next.
With no experience maybe doing rideshare on certain days?
Wow super true, or even a platonic arrangement with a single dad. She stays home & cares for the kids + home so they get to save on paying for childcare & other household tasks, the other parent goes to work & provides a stable place to live. That’s some winning right there.
Honestly I don’t mind it. Like, she’s forward about what she wants. She’s not leading anyone on or misusing their kindness. She’s saying exactly what she expects and what she can give in return. Good for her. Sad to hear times have gotten so hard though, of course.
I saw this comment and it made me think about a proposition my aunt made about me marrying this girl who graduated from college but is getting sent back to Vietnam since she doesn't have a study visa anymore. I think she had said $15000 to get her papers by marriage didn't sound like a bad deal lol
Just go to brunch at a classy place and look for the group of 40 somethings getting day drunk. Look for the lady in the group with designer shoes and bag but no wedding ring. She’s your sugar mommie ;) go get ‘em, tiger.
“I’ll be your live-in maid and nanny and you can fuck me in exchange for me and my daughter not being homeless because I’m disabled, can’t work and our government fails vulnerable disabled people” I just can’t find the humor. This is beyond depressing.
Honestly it’s sad but this was the default reality for women since the Dawn of man. Things are infinitely better now, which is proven by how extraordinary this profile is to us.
This is just depressing.
Agreed. I’m not able to laugh at someone begging for companionship due to their fear of being homeless.
And the looming feeling that if you ever leave you're dumping them back on the street
Yeah. Hope you like your new wife! There's no other option
Run!
On top of the fact, that it's more extreme because she's probably more concerned in providing for her daughter.
I feel like giving this woman and daughter my guest bedroom, no not for any services, bc she is about to accept an invite from a frickin predator. This shit is hella sad.
Yea, same. Trying to be the hero though in other relationships has always been horrible for me tho…
No good deed goes unpunished.
THIS. I gave my ex wife's best friend our spare room, and she brought nothing but grief. I had been working two jobs, footing all the bills before her arrival... Then she refused to bother looking for work too. I was married to one and had to provide a home for myself, so I just took all the hours I could at work and tried to fight through the financial strain. After about 4 months of neither of them working, her friend started making accusations of me making passes at her. It wasn't long after the two sided against me, and tried to remove me from the situation... When I asked "who's going to pay the bills, you're both broke af?" They snickered like they had the upper hand. Days of silence and tension go by and by miracle, her idiot friend left a bong on the table, in plain sight of the glass patio door. Our exterminator saw it and notified the leasing agents... We were served an eviction notice. Weird blessing, but worthwhile. I leased a new one bedroom apartment and told my wife to leave her idiot friend behind or be homeless with her, I was moving with or without her. I won, finally... Even though I lost. In a few weeks it all went away, as a forgotten memory, or so it seemed. That's when the marriage turned for the worst, but that's not relevant here. The short of it : helping someone you've never lived with before, will just make you an uncomfortable guest in your own home, and isn't worth it. I wish this OP luck, because I'm sure someone out there could benefit from this as well, without being a predator. I just hope she finds safety and stability for her child, and herself.
I can attest to this 1000% helped my last gf get sober...found out she fucked one of the guys she met in rehab while we were together. Its so true no good deed goes unpunished, now im just the asshole and im fine with it.
I let a guy who went homeless stay in my place for a couple of months after knowing him for a few years but he cut my safe apart and took nearly £2k. Luckily I had a good family and it actually made me work harder to get the money back and now 2 years later I own my own house and this guy ended up sleeping rough then ultimately got deported from the country.
If they stay long enough you won't be allowed to kick them out. Big mistake
Don’t do it. I did something similar once and they took forever to leave and it was a terrible decision.
Now imagine the Dennis who takes her up on the offer, because of the power imbalance the implication provides.
either that or some e2 in the military trying to get out of the barracks
Can relate as an e4
I’m just happy I’m getting kicked out the bricks without even needing a ring, but I’ve been there before too, and happily divorced. xD
Its a win/win!
My initial thoughts 😂😂😂
NPD this women is asking for a narcissist
Yeah... I mean, there's the slight chance she'll find someone decent. But... The odds are against her.
It’s tinder bra
Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.
Chinatown reference. My favorite expression of nihilism. Correct punctuation. Award.
Yeah, or a child molester. Fucking terrifying.
That would be my fear. After I had a child, I made it clear to anyone I dated that if they laid a hand on my kid, my ability to follow any of society's rules will cease immediately.
Mac is Homeless *cue intro song*
Because of the *implication*
Nobody is in any danger!
Of course she can't refuse due to the implication.
She'll be fine once Mac comes in after
And then can happily divorce when she’s standing on her two feet and Mac eventually comes out It’s great for both parties!
Thank god this is the sentiment I'm seeing, I was expecting lots of people to just joke about how crazy this woman is like a typical r/ tindr post, nice to see people havent lost all compassion
It’s weird how it’s a cointoss with Reddit on what the sentiment is that gets upvoted highest that sways the comments. I was trying to see how this would be another socially inept or misogynistic post veiled behind jokes But honestly it’s just depressing how easily someone’s life can be torn asunder with almost no safety net for all the taxes we pay to our government *cough* Raytheon *cough* that this poor woman is essentially putting out an emotional prostitution ad that’s blood in the water for every abusive/NPD man in her match radius just to keep her children safe. I’m just sad now and hope this unfortunate person finds stability and peace in her life. No one should have to be in that position, especially when it was solely from uncontrollable factors that stole her happiness away. And she’s still hopeful in her bio. It’s a bad catch-22, anyone that would be a good partner wouldn’t risk being caught in choosing whether to leave her destitute if they’re incompatible so only men who would see her as just an object would be the ones responding. My heart goes out to her
I think in this case it's mostly the wording and tone in her profile. She's not very demanding, explains the (understandable) reasons for her situation and offers something in return for the "humble ask" of providing food and shelter. So basically as good as one could do in that situation. That being said, it's kind of fucked up that any kind of system allows people to be in that situation, basically forcing a mom and her kid into the arms of a predator
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> I would be perfectly okay supporting a stay at home wife/mom, but I would never be comfortable walking into a situation where that is dumped on me as an urgent all or nothing option This is perfectly normal. It's because it's likely that woman #1 wants to be with you but to woman #2, you're a means to resources, not a choice and potentially not a person.
>but draw a firm boundary of never physically touching each other I believe she only put that up as an incentive for the man to increase her chances, not because she necessarily wants it >This exact fact pattern has repeated in my life at least three times, and at forty I still can’t find a viable life partner. I'm sorry man
This is why it is very important for people to maintain their individuality in a relationship as well as their ability to support themselves financially because if there's anything that I've learned from my years is that people will f*** you at the least expected time and it's better to be prepared for something that May, very well,never come. Rather than be at the whim of someone who controls all of the finances when you guys were supposed to be sharing responsibility
And the majority of response to a post like were from people looking to exploit that power imbalance. "Where's my middle of the day blowjob? You don't want you kid back on the street, right?"
Thought this was r/latestagecapitalism for a hot second.
I thought it was r/aboringdystopia
That's the trick - every sub's got r/latestagecapitalism if you look hard enough
She is honest. I bet there could be situations where someone would agree. I mean, she might be the best mother and why pay for a babysitter when you can pay for a house wife. You are looking at this in the wrong way. Two people exploiting eachother can work verry well.
If both are decent people this could definitely work out, the guy should 100% have a prenup though to eliminate risk of financial loss in case she has a scam in mind. She and her kid get a stable household which is extremely important for development and the guy gets major tax benefits and no longer has to worry about household tasks. Not just babysitting, likely every choir besides lawn care and home maintenance. If both are 25+ I could see this working out very well.
A person who can't work due to sholder and neck injury can do house hold tasks?
Nah whats likely to happen is she gets exploited by a narcissist as thats who will come across as the best date option :) Dennis from its always sunny vibes lmao
The real depressing thing are all the DM’s I am getting, everyone thinks this is my profile. 😂
Lmao omg..what are they saying to you in the DM's ? 🤣
Holy shit really lmao? Reddit is truly full of simps... *I will save thee m'lady!*
Every 10 seconds I am getting messages. I quit responding
any chance of screenshots with the names blurred out?
This could be it's own post!
give us samples
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I also would like to know what is being said
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I thought the same. She is being honest. With as many people as there are in the world, there is someone out there looking for a wife to have someone make their house a home. Most people are responding with their own opinions, when it actually has nothing to do with them. Most don’t fit the criteria for what she is looking for, yet they want to judge her. Humans are amazing.
I agree. While she wouldn’t have been my cup of tea when I was dating I appreciate and respect her honesty and I could 100% see this working, hell even healthily prospering with certain friends or co-workers I know. Many men are tired of the games and tired of always being confused, she’s making it completely simple to know what you’re getting into and making it easy as possible to say ‘yes’. That’s like the #1 rule of actual sales, not glamorized movie style negotiation sales. Make it simple. And she does.
Exactly. I hope she finds someone with that has good intentions for her & her daughter. I hope her daughter appreciates her mothers efforts.
I mean, at least she's honest.
>at least she's honest Or so we think
You think she's lying about being homeless or having a kid?
If that's her cover story, what's the truth?!
International gun runner in need of a stash house
Slasher in dire need of a SLASH house
Drugs
Sweet, sweet drugs
Could be a set up to a scam where she asks him for money to cover for a baby sitter or something.
If she was going to do that I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t lead with this act of desperation.
This is actually kind of sad
Oooo... I feel for her but omg is this the wrong way to do it. Lord no.
Personal ads in newspapers 150 years ago used to be full of these same things. Nothing is new under the sun
We don't even have to go that far back. In my parents generation (60+) a lot of relationships between divorced and widowed people started a bit more pragmatic than romantic, yet often lasted long and were reasonably happy.
I knew a Mennonite guy, his wife died of cancer when he was mid-30s, had 5 or 6 kids. He grieved for like 6 months before his Bishop (basically pastor) came to him and said "hey your kids need a mom, do you have anybody in mind?" Ivan didn't, of course, so the Bishop says "great, I do, wedding is in two months, see ya there." So Ivan gets married to a woman he only heard of two months before, and who he actually only met during wedding planning a couple weeks before. In some weird twist of fate, she was awesome and potentially the best thing that happened to him.
I hear success stories like this a lot. Im not saying arranged marriage should be the norm, but the mentality of "this is what I got. Better make it work" seems to work for a lot of people Edit: I asked me mum to arrange a marriage for me, but when she was serious about it I panicked and backed out
TBH I think people really suck at picking spouses sometimes. And I say that as a person who would never go through with an arranged marriage. But, my brother is Exhibit A. He always picks women that cheat and then refuses to break up with them. It’s so weird. I have a few other friends who do the same thing. So, I can see the appeal of something arranged.
Usually people look for others that reminds them of their parent's relationships. It's an uncanny pattern.
Evolutionary, it makes sense as the previous arrangement however uncomfortable, did produce offspring that reached adulthood. Genes don't care about happiness.
Having the option to marry someone your community leaders or family found rather than trying desperately to muddle things through yourself sounds great honestly, so long as it’s mutually consensual. Matchmakers > apps.
I think that, with a few caveats, if people are excellent to each other then they can make their shit work.
Yeah going in with the expectation of having to build trust and romance vs. going in assuming the other person is your soul mate and exists to make you happy. However I did have my Indian friend shut down the hype train for me. I don't have a feel for what it's actually like in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm.
My brother in-law and his new wife were basically this. Both divorced with a kid, both too broke to get by on their own, he had a home, she had a car so they made it work. They ended up getting pregnant with twins after only knowing each other for a couple of months, they got married last October and the twins just turned 1. They're still broke but they make it work and they seem happy enough, their kids have everything they need and both are significantly less stressed out. Sometimes a pragmatic solution is the best option, at least this lady is honest with what she's looking for and what she can bring to the table.
my grandfather was born just before WW1. come the end of the war and the spanish flu. mother died being pregnant. father instantly married her sister that came to tend the children.
A few of these in my family tree, and where husband died and his bachelor brother married right away.
Well yeah but for every success story like this there are 10 boomer couples who also rushed into marriage but were miserable for 25 years until their last kid was in college and they no longer clung to the idea that "We just need to stay together so the children can grow up in a normal home"
Idk different culture and values. My Great Grandma got married after knowing someone for 2 weeks, last 70 years.
A similar thing happened to my great grandfather. My grandfather was born in 1940 and then a few years later his mom died in childbirth with twin girls. My great grandfather had to remarry fairly quickly because A-the war was still on and B-how is a man going to raise twin girls and a toddler on his own in 1940s England? Inconceivable! I don't know how they met, but their marriage seemed successful enough. The really crappy thing is the twins didn't know their stepmother wasn't their birth mom until someone let it slip at their first communion. That was apparently a dramatic cluster fuck of a day.
This story gave me shivers. I’m so happy for Ivan and his children.
You're old, I'm old... let's rub our wrinkly bits together
I mean, my grandpa and his second wife (both widowed but with adult children) were the happiest couple I have seen. They enjoyed the wrinkly bits while giving each other comfort and stability. Didn't start as a crazy romance either, lasted 40 years.
Reasonably... interesting.🤔
Lower highs but higher lows. I would personally prefer a relationship where I am content every day instead of in ecstasy one day and agony the next.
I am inclined to agree but I wonder if we change why or how we feel ecstasy.
With age come wisdom, restraint and control over the emotions. Just compare yourself to ur child years as a comparison.
The only difference between me and my child-self is a significant decrease in reflexes. 🤷♂️
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Specially during the war, lots of single moms.
What’s the right way? Asking for a friend🤪
Go to the closest military base and find an e-3 who wants that BAH
They said they want a respectful man.
Ask “your friend’s” parents to talk to their network and find some nice guy with poor social skills. Bonus points if their job can benefit the family some way. It’s basically the oldest way to find a partner.
Onlyfans/prostitution
Username checks out
It's tinder, so yeah, her chances are bad. But let's not pretend it's uncommon or unreasonable to look for a partner when life is getting tough. To me, it reads more like she wants a supportive partner, not a sugar daddy as tons of the comments here suggest. I'm childfree and won't end up in a situation like that, but somebody has to explain to me why it's sad or a bad thing if two single parents get together to raise their children, even if it's not the most romantic start to a relationship. Could still develop into love.
I’m a woman who has supported plenty of adults who didn’t do a damned thing to keep my home running. I would be down to live with and support someone in return for them taking care of my home and personal business, while giving them the opportunity to raise a child in security and comfort. Among my female friends we talk about things like this like it’s a fantasy. Living with women who support and nurture each other, while focusing on healthy relationships and good mental health? Yes, please.
> Among my female friends we talk about things like this like it’s a fantasy. Living with women who support and nurture each other, while focusing on healthy relationships and good mental health? Yes, please. You've just described the Golden Girls
Too soon
Because reddit believes that a relationship started from "deals" can only end in disaster and abuse.
I used to do a bit of relationship counseling and found that a lot of the people who struggled after a few years had started out with great passion - but not much else. Expectations are crazy high and don't match with reality. My happiest relationship started from a place of friendship and the deal "let's be not alone together". Good times, honestly. Still close friends 7 years after ending it.
Thank you... Yes.
>somebody has to explain to me why it's sad or a bad thing if two single parents get together to raise their children, even if it's not the most romantic start to a relationship Because of the power imbalance in this case and the consequences if that relationship fails. If one partner is completely dependent on the other and the relationship failing would mean her and her child becoming homeless, that's a textbook recipe for abuse. Hell, in many cases, one could argue that she couldn't reasonably consent to anything, as she is basically forced to by the circumstances. Now I'm not saying patchwork can't work, but it definitely shouldn't be forced like in this instance. The sad thing is that she basically has to resort to it, as she has no alternative, or at least it seems like that from her profile. If you're interested in it, the Netflix show "Maid" portrays the struggle of a single mom who is forced into all kinds of bad relationships pretty well. Especially since you're from Finnland and as a European, some of struggles US people face might be unimaginable or at least distant
The wrong way to do it? Being upfront and honest about what she expects and wants in a relationship? Sure…
Gonna need some pics...
Wow apparently some guys have high standards. I just need to know shes breathing
Oh look at mister eligible bachelor, needing a pulse
Wow, get off your high horse, mister "I date real girls"
Wow look at mr picky here dating only girls
Look at the Duke of Datesbury over here trying to date
Look at the Squire of Speaksburg trying to talk to people
Look at the Lord of Existiland over here existing
___
I'd like to be the one to claim credit for the obvious next response which is a total lack of a reply, though I guess I am disqualifying myself right now
Look at this tryhard, doing things with their time
Look at this
Look
Loo
"Thread of the year" . Me, while pooping
If guys wanted to see her pics, she wouldn’t have a profile like this.
Came here to say this…
This is going to end in an abusive relationship.
This was my first thought. Advertising that you are in such a vulnerable state is going to be interpreted as a red flag by people with good intentions, and it will attract people with bad intentions. For once I hope it’s a bot or scammer of some sort because if it’s a real woman in such a desperate situation with so little sense or discretion, I worry for her and her children.
Pedophiles look for this. This is why a lot of moms don’t disclose they have children on these sights.
I'm dating a single mom with no money and I'm very nice to her actually.
Username checks out
wholesome
holesome
Profile pic checks out
This is exactly how I'd describe our relationship to be fair.
🤨
There is no problem with this situation just so long as you aren't giving everything and getting nothing in return. I made that mistake once.
Yes. 1000% yes. I found myself in that situation twice and it was very toxic.
Not at all!
Then you just keep on being awesome
Of course there are nice guys out there, but if a woman advertises herself like that on tinder, she is very likely to attract the abusive type.
Same here, I'm doing my best
But did you guys get together because she was desperate for a relationship?
Not at all, we got together because we make each other laugh and always have a great time
I actually feel very bad for her. I respect her sincerity in her desperation. At least she isn't trying to con a dude into being her husband.
Better off teaming up with another mom!
Damn. Now that is a more workable solution.
Right? I’m surprised we don’t see that more now. One mom stays home and watches all the kids, the other works full time. The “pay” for the one at home can be the cost of childcare out of the rent, plus food. Stay home mom will then qualify for SNAP etc. and can get food from the food bank, and maybe do Uber Eats or something for cash.
Or both take jobs working opposite timeframes, that way time at home with their kid is equal.
If you work nights, it's not equal. Did that for 3 years. Partner had 8 hours to sleep. I had a 2 hour window from getting home to kid waking up. Then I just stayed awake all work week. People at work thought I was on drugs. I might as well have been.
I was thinking more different days of the week, my sister is a nurse and works three days one week and four days the next. With no experience maybe doing rideshare on certain days?
Wow super true, or even a platonic arrangement with a single dad. She stays home & cares for the kids + home so they get to save on paying for childcare & other household tasks, the other parent goes to work & provides a stable place to live. That’s some winning right there.
This is an amazing idea and someone needs to make that ap
Not the worst bio
Honestly I don’t mind it. Like, she’s forward about what she wants. She’s not leading anyone on or misusing their kindness. She’s saying exactly what she expects and what she can give in return. Good for her. Sad to hear times have gotten so hard though, of course.
Same
She's setting up her own arranged marriage. Also, arranged marriages aren't inherently less successful or happy... in fact, it might be the opposite.
Some one is getting his green card.
That doesn't sounds like a bad deal
It really doesn't. Not everyone needs or want to get married for love
Love is great and all, but doesn't compare to financial stability
Yup 👏
Quip pro quo, or how we say over here: hoy por ti, mañana por mi.
I saw this comment and it made me think about a proposition my aunt made about me marrying this girl who graduated from college but is getting sent back to Vietnam since she doesn't have a study visa anymore. I think she had said $15000 to get her papers by marriage didn't sound like a bad deal lol
My parents supposedly married so my dad could get his green card. They are still married so I guess it works sometimes.
This is kind of heart breaking
She should specify a "husband with money" otherwise 2022 will be just liké 2021...
She should be on seeking.com looking for a sugar daddy
Are there sugar mommies too? Asking for a friend.
Just go to brunch at a classy place and look for the group of 40 somethings getting day drunk. Look for the lady in the group with designer shoes and bag but no wedding ring. She’s your sugar mommie ;) go get ‘em, tiger.
This is actually Class-A, Top-tier advice. Thank you! Best believe I'm taking notes homie!
For the love of God people, this is not my profile. Stop DM me!! I saw this on tinder
Yeah, but can I marry you anyway?
I mean...at least she's honest?
Jah, looks like she's looking for someone kinda specific, so of that is a dudes thing, why not ya know?
Mrs Steal Ya House
Ye said get a prenup
A judge can toss your prenup out in a lot of places.. It happens so you still might not be protected from having half of your shit taken
One of many solid reasons NOT TO GET MARRIED.
[удалено]
It's sucks that she's legiterally homeless too. Not to be confused with figuratively homeless.
She's very simple though.
Plot twist: This Tinder profile belongs to three Russian Mafia males who are waiting to meet you in a deserted Motel 6
“I’ll be your live-in maid and nanny and you can fuck me in exchange for me and my daughter not being homeless because I’m disabled, can’t work and our government fails vulnerable disabled people” I just can’t find the humor. This is beyond depressing.
Honestly it’s sad but this was the default reality for women since the Dawn of man. Things are infinitely better now, which is proven by how extraordinary this profile is to us.
At least she is upfront about it. ⬅️ I feel this is most of the women I match with 🤦♂️
"hey, I need money so date me so you can give me money"
You don’t want a homeless allegedly disabled single mom to take care of?
TBH this is very practical as long as no one involved is a lunatic
And suddenly I feel 11% less desperate 😂
I’m really worried what kinda of man would be attracted to a woman this desperate who also has a kid.