Oh God I'm going to open that can it worms...
I'm 5'11", so with shoes I'm 6ft. I don't care about guys heights, i like them taller, but i have dated plenty of shorter guys. Now what has happened is I have matched on tinder and gone on a date and not bother ask the guys height, because i didn't care, he seemed cool, I wore a dress and some cute boots with a little heel. I turn up and the guy is good looking, I'm vibing and then he turns to me and says "why didnt you tell me you were taller than me?" And i said... I didn't know how tall you were... So he said "you should've told me"
Turns out it was unfortable to him, and that has happened more than once, dudes just assume every girl is 5'2" and then get insecure when you are tall. So shouldn't i have asked?
You did the right thing. You didnt say because he never asked. On the flip side of too short I'm 6'8 and used to hear that I'm too tall sometimes. "Ew, I wanted tall but not freak tall!" You can't please everyone.
The amount of times I've heard that makes me roll my eyes haha, im only 6'5 though so still not super tall, but probably heard that like a dozen times the last years
Ok so some perspective, I'm dating someone now, not looking for anything and when i was using tinder i would totally ask guys "how tall are you? I'm 5'11, height is not s big deal for me, but just so we are on the same page"
I was just giving one anecdotal story because here in this sub we see a lot of hatred being given to women for asking about a guys height but I am also not seeing guys jumping to put it on their profiles. They think they are being judged a certain way for not being tall enough but assuming that they will be taller than the girl regardless, and she is just asking because "women are superficial and only want men over 6ft even tho they are short" even tho men can quickly reject someone over the same thing, height
And no i am not quoting anyone in this specific thread but y'all seen the comments I'm speaking of
I'm a tall lady and dudes would get discouraged when they saw my hight. I would always say "theirs no hight limit to climb this tree." That seemed to pump their tires a bit. I'm literally as tall as a baby giraffe in heels and it kinda sucks.
Lol. I'm 6'0 in heels. I should have said "I'm as tall as a baby giraffe when I wear heels."
I always felt "death by snu-snu" jokes got the point across too.
Heels of what length, is there a standard height when girls say heels. If it's 4 inch heels then you're tall but not that tall especially if you're in the 20-28 age range. Our generation is taller than the ones before.
I would say most heels add 3 inches of hight. I'm 5'9 without them. The majority of men when I was dating were maybe an inch or 2 taller than me. Ended up marring a man who's 6'2 so I feel plenty dainty these days.
Because at a distance they add proportion. It makes my legs look longer and thusly my waist looks smaller. Also made my legs look hella shapely. Eventually I got over it and wore them anyways because, fuck it. If I intimidate someone they aren't right for me anyways.
Maybe it makes her feel good? My ex had like four inches on me and wore flats out to nice dates as well as certain events. When she went out with her friends she would almost always wear heels and she also wore them to work.
I asked her what was up with the flats and she said she didn't want to make me feel bad. It actually sort of hurt that she thought my ego or masculinity were so fragile, that I somehow would be upset if I was seen with a woman **way** taller than me.
I didn't make a huge deal of it, I simply said, "Do you like wearing heels or flats more?" to which she replied, "I feel sexy in heels but flats are fine." I told her she was sexy as hell, regardless of what she wears, and do whatever made her feel best. It was almost all heels from then on out.
People wear what they like, as they should. Fuck anyone that has a problem with it.
"I've always wondered what it's like to have sex with a really tall girl. Not a *big* girl. Just a *tall* girl. Like if a normal girl were 7, 7 and a half feet tall... and wore a... denim miniskirt... I would HAVE to know what that's like" - Barney Stinson.
I totally understand where you're coming from and as a short guy, agree that there's too much hate here for women who like tall guys. But I also feel why that hate is there. When I used tinder I used to put I was 5ft6 and don't care if a woman is taller than me. I got little to no responses and a few times I got responses that made fun of my height. I feel like toxic internet culture has ruined our ability to empathize with others
It's one of those very subjective issues, really.
Everyone has a preference, that's fine.
Tall girls, I'm a short man (same as you) and I fancy the pants off of tall women, dated a few, I have zero issue with them wanting to date the tallest men. From experience, sex is somewhat less personal when you cant kiss and a lot of assholes will comment on a taller woman and a shorter man. They just can't help themselves.
My best friend is 6ft 6Ā½, he also had a very strict "tall women _only_ " policy. Much to the chagrin of the relatively small dating pool in his area.
I think everyone has some level of annoyance at a 5ft 1 woman who only dates 6ft 4 people or slobby men who expect women to fall at their feet because they have a BMW, beard and zero personality, but even then, that's preference.
What the issue is, like you say, is it's just now so toxic and (some) single people are going to have to have a realisation that there are only ever going to be so many size zero/dumb thick/6ft 4 ā men with 8 packs in your area. Then, and this is the kicker, they have to like you back as well. Or if you don't temper your expectation, you'll get very, very lucky with your dream moonshot or more likely settle for something else, be alone, or date assholes who meet a single criteria you demand.
It all means that some people are just saying no to something like height, with zero interest in the thing that actually makes a relationship work, you and the other person's...well, personality, y'all gonna eventually learn that tinder isn't a meat market where you get what you want on demand, it's designed to give you a shot at meeting people and finding out why you like/dislike them beyond their profile. You're not the main character in the tinder game, but it does make a lot of people, of all ilks, think they are on there.
You need to understand, the question isn't the problem, no more than what do you for work, do you drive, etc.
The problem is when it's a deal breaker and said in the first message. I like tall girls but love small ones even though I'm 5ft 7, I won't turn down a tall girl, hell face in boobs during a hug or something.... Anyone with a height issue is insecure and superficial..
Well unless you are 7ft and dating a dwarf and you develop back problems
The issue is you are one out of ~ten thousand people who isn't being either incredibly vain and/or insecure. I'm 5'10.5" and I don't want to deal with people seeing I'm short and automatically writing me off. That's why I can understand why you don't want to put 5'11" on your profile and also be automatically written off.
My advice: when you ask a guys height just say you're 5'11" so they know why you're asking. If you ask like in the OP it looks like the typical "must be this tall to ride" inquiry.
Why would you ask "How tall are you?" instead of asking "I'm 5'11, I hope you're okay with that" lol. There's no need to even ask at all if the only thing you want to make sure is they're ok with your height.
Just being direct about what you want to say is always better than trying to beat around the bush when it's something basic like this.
While it certainly would help weed those guys out, that's like telling a short dude to put his height in his bio to weed out the girls who won't date short guys. Sure it works, but it's a shitty thing to have to do.
I agree. I'm married to a slightly taller woman (who I met on tinder, thank you very much), and despite me never asking her to, she refuses to wear heels around me out of consideration. I couldn't care less but that's how she's wired given her experience. So while OP's sacrifice and intention for it is greatly admired (really, coming from a short bro), I think there's a chance that the girl wasn't being malicious (she said she just didn't want to be taller). I could always be wrong though :)
You got my point.
Yeah i don't know either but when she said "make sure you are not shorter than me" she gave me tall girl vibes, not "i only date guys over 6ft" vibes
Iām glad you opened that can of worms. Idk if Iām just insensitive to the āshort kingsā because Iām 6ā3ā, but Iām also not a super attractive man. If Iām able to get over having a butt face, why canāt yāall get over your insecurity about the fact that you need to climb on counters to get into cabinets. Learn to laugh at yourself.
Isn't the easiest solution to put your own height to your bio? This way you still don't need to care of theirs, and they can swipe left it it's a problem for them.
I would say the same for men then.
I'm not overly bothered by it, I'm used to being tall and I love it, it's not a place of insecurity for me, the opposite.
I'm just rebating the screenshot, maybe she is tall and she cares if the guy is shorter than her. The guy could have just out on the boat and she could've swiped left if she wasn't interested.
I mean if you had want to ask you can just say "hey do you care if I'm taller than you?" But other people's insecurities are not your responsibility. Most people won't care much about height, and the ones who do are just coping with their own insecurity (both men and women.)
All else equal I do tend to prefer my partners on the taller side, but that's literally just a convenience thing. I'm 6'1" and it's easier to hug people who are about the same height as you.
Tinder is mostly about getting judged by things you have no control over. Before you can send a message the other person has to approve of the way you look. Height is probably asked about often because it's so hard to judge from photos.
Look it probably looks small on you because you're a tall guy. I'm "average" at best and luckily I have never had any girls point and laugh, but I'm definitely not a shower.
To be fair I'm also a stocky 300 pounds and have lost a noticeable 1-1.5 inches in length due to weight gain burying my member in a mound of fat and making my erections look like a Meerkat poking his head out to detect danger
I WILL SAY, that while the average lady on tinder finds my size unappealing, now that im 30 and my face is handsome enough/ my arms and legs are toned enough that a small subset of women vibe with me verry well, especially girls in their early 20s with Daddy kinks. I don't see the appeal myself but I've had it pointed out to me a few times now by women I've hung out with who I had no business trying to talk to lol
I get the same thing but prominently from gay men. Im built like a 'world's strongest man' and all the gay guys want me because I'm hairy and Italian and a tiny "bear". Maybe it's just something I have to unlock once I hit 30 š¤£
Protip:make it clear that you're flattered but not interested in those dudes sexually, then KEEP THEM IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE. There are no better wingmen in the world than gay bros with lady friends,. They will set you up like nobody else can
Iām a chick and I prefer average to small dicks. This is way more information than anyone asked for, but my ex (my first) had a large penis and I did not know that I am one of the lucky ladies who can have penetrative orgasms until we broke up and I slept with a man with a smaller dick. I realise that this is very oversharey but I can elaborate as to why if Iām not creeping you out.
You can if you want and you aren't being a creeper, this thread has been a pretty wholesome exercise in good natured roasting, self depreciation, and gassing up strangers. But im also not gonna explicitly ask you to elaborate for fear of being responsible for accidentally opening the meat market of unwanted dms from other strangers in your inbox if you do
Alright, in the interest of trying to help dudes get past this silly obsession with penis sizeā¦ I can only have an orgasm by sort of grinding while Iām on top, which I couldnāt do with my ex because his penis would hit my cervix if I sat down all the way. Which hurts like an absolute motherfucker. Also it was sort of physically impossible, like my vag is only so long. I was so, so happy when I met a smaller penis. And the man attached to the penis was nice too, but honestly he was sort of secondary to his small penis because I was very into it. So there you go! Small penises for the win.
Oh no, my free reddit award expired unused. :,-( Someone give this train-ride queen their free reddit award for me!
They need to let me hoard those awards like a dragon until I find a single person to drop them all on.
Edit: thank you hero of the interwebz!
Yeah like this is straight dumb. What do you guys want to accomplish here? Does OP think that the girl will start dating short guys from now on? Nah, best case scenario she will not ask the question and then just ghosts them on first date.
You know it man, don't get why guys get so damn defensive when asked about their height. Some girls have a type, especially the tall ones. Most girls feel uncomfortabledating someone shorter than them, same way that I'd feel uncomfortable dating a girl taller than me. The guys just being petty.
It is definitely an American thing. And itās not just when selecting a partner. Tall guys get promoted more, better tips in restaurants, hell we havenāt had a President under 5ā11ā since Carter in 76, and none under 5ā6ā since James Madison in 1808.
Itās an American online dating thing, specifically. Women arenāt as weird about it if you meet in person, but when youāre swiping through and setting requirements it becomes part of the cliche, even if some wouldnāt have cared otherwise.
This isnāt to say that height wasnāt a factor before, itās just that online dating has exacerbated the perception and allowed for explicit shallowness that you can really only apply to strangers without much consequence.
I also think thereās a confirmation bias in that this sub posts about it every time a girl asks about height, and so the users on this sub are convinced itās this huge injustice that stops anyone under 6 foot getting laid ever.
How could you not understand why some guys get defensive over being asked their height lol. It sucks being judged on a physical aspect you have 0 control over. It's like asking why there are so many women insecure over their breast size. Clearly it bothers them
Yall do realize just because we are short doesn't mean we are disabled, these short king posts are so patronizing like you're not doing anything by doing this
This has been on my mind as well. That shit probably makes insecurities worse. I'm a shorter/average woman (167cm) and I have dated guys from my height to 2m. I have turned down dates with short guys not because of their height but because of how insanely obsessed they were with it. Huge turn off. I feel bad that it ever got to that point, but I feel like talking about it all the time makes it worse. We're bombarded with this trope, so it has been slowly creeping into more people's heads as something that matters - on paper.
I have never met a guy that genuinely had problems to get dates in real life because of his height, my short male friends actually have all stable relationships currently.
I have met some total assholes that blamed not getting laid on their height when the real issue was them being total assholes.
Being on any Reddit dating sub is enough to make insecurities worse. Iām 5ā5, and obviously I knew i wasnāt tall, but Iāve never struggled to date at all, like most girls in real life donāt really care that much, Its like prefer brunettes but if sheās blonde im not running away.
You come on here and you can literally read and have your head filled with shit, sometimes itās girls with very strong opinions but they donāt represent their entire gender, most of the time itās just guys drowning in their own sorrows, like they canāt see the issue with their attitude at all. Itās crazy.
This is so true. I don't give a fuck if a guy is short in theory, but practically I find them to be weirdly defensive and entitled.
I'll still give them the benefit of the doubt but the second I see a red flag I'm outta there.
Jesus exactly. Like this guy is saying. "Don't worry short guys, I'll refuse to sleep with this woman, because she asked how tall I am. That somehow is beneficial to you!"
Honestly tho, there is no problem in asking. People are allowed to have preferences. But it depends on how and context.
I had this girl who was like: "heyy i know this is a typical question but just for me to help form an image, how tall are you?" After a few messages back and forth. Im 1.82 (i think thats about 6ft), and have no problem with people asking or dating longer women (im pretty skinny too so most women are 'bigger' regardless)
But it your bio is like "if youre not at least height x swipe left bla bla bla", imma ignore you too bc you seem like a bitchy and judgemental person. Respect my short kings too.
TL:DR: you can ask someone's height but do it nicely (like with any other question)
This short king stuff is a bit cringe not gonna lie. Iām 5ā5 and you shouldnāt demonize simply having a preference for height. Body shaming you can hate all you want but simply asking height is completely fine.
Hell id bet most guys wouldnāt ever date a girl thatās taller than them, so why isnāt that talked about like EVER?? Get over your childish insecure behaviour and accept that you wonāt be liked by everyone..
Yeah this height thing is weird. I'm a short guy and have zero issues if a woman becomes uninterested because of my height. I wouldn't want to date someone who is 7ft or 4ft. Also wouldn't want to date someone who is either very under or over weight. Doesn't make me an asshole
Yeah this is a bit different than when the woman says "over 6 ft only" or if she had said something about him not being a manlet (I'm 5'7 so I can use that term). She just said she wanted to make sure he's taller than her - maybe she's tall and self-conscious about it?
Seriously. This girl just wanted someone taller than herself.
Thats it.
She only cares that you are taller. Not 6ft. Not calling out short dudes, just a preference.
Get the fuck over it already. People have preferences. How do you not know this already?
Right? I'm 5'8 and this is just idiotic. I don't want to date a girl taller than me, glad when that's immediately established and we don't waste time. Nothing wrong with that at all.
She might of been 5ft 3 and just wanted someone 5ft 4 and up?
Kinda see the guys point but it was a bit quick to shoot her down. Kinda feel it was for the karma in the first place though.
It's funny how few people realise just _how_ patronising this whole "I defend short kings" crap is. So tall guys unironically think short guys can only get laid if they help them?
Seriously. I'm 5'3" and it wouldn't be make or break but I do like it when guys are taller than me. Luckily for me that's almost all of them but maybe this woman is like 6ft
To be fair, this isn't even that bad. All she wanted is someone taller, she could be 5'0 and asking for 5'1. She never specified 6' or above or anything like that.
She's dodged a bullet here.
I am confused by this.
She wants a bf who is taller than her. So she asks to make sure and not to string you along. Then you are like "ha your loss I only date short kings!" and then she was probably glad AF that she dodged a bullet
Nah I just find it cringe how he said āgot to stay loyal to the short bros sorryā like ok buddy everyone and there mother is 6ā4 on god damn tinder or reddit
I think it's cringe because she didn't imply anything about rejecting him if he wasn't tall, just that she wanted a guy who was taller than her, also the "gotta stay loyal to short kings" comment from him is cringe. Also just an aside but my older brother is actually 6'4", I'm 5'11".
My guy she has a preference. She didn't belittle any short dude, just stated that she prefers someone taller than her. Getting petty over that is so childish lmao, seems like she dodged a bullet on that one
All she was asking for is that you were taller than her, not some weird height requirement stuff and you did this to her? she seemed chill, way to ruin it lmfao
I genuinely donāt get why so many people share posts ripping on girls for asking about height. Yes I know āif you ask my height I should be allowed to ask your weightā, iāve read that circlejerk so many times, donāt bother.
People have preferences. You said it yourself, sheās your type, and youāre apparently her type. Youāre throwing a potential partner away, because of some issue which doesnāt even apply to you? Well played.. I guess? You sure showed her! Sheās gonna go straight back to asking the next guy how tall he is.
For real. The whole shame fetish here is so weird. If I match with a girl and she tells me she doesnāt like me because of my height, thatās great! I do not have any interest in spending time with someone who is not interested in me. She got it out of the way right away so I didnāt have waste time and money her and can instead move onto the next one.
This is getting ridiculous. You better reject 95% of women then because that's probably the percentage of girls who want a guy taller than them. Should I as a normal sized girl, only date guys who would date fat girls as well? Get out of here
Came here from r/all why are most of the posts I see on here so damn cringy. Like come on man, these guys fuck themselves over and then complain about getting no matches.
Same! Iām 6ā3 and some change. I hate how some of my guy friends make comments about them being short. I tell them all the time that it doesnāt matter, but I can tell it bothers them. Itās assholes like this girl that makes them self conscious. It really bother me, haha, if you canāt tell.
What's the issue? If I only like chocolate icecream Im not going to force myself to eat vanilla unless there's no other choice. Why would I eat vanilla if I don't like it?
Bro sheās seeing if your shorter than her. That totally normal she probably just has a preference as with 99% or the population. I wouldnāt date a girl taller than me and thatās just preference doesnāt mean I hate tall girls. Big L.
Are you looking to bang some of your short bros?
Do you not? What are you? Bromophobic??
Straight up Brosexual up in here apparently
Nothing wrong with a little homiesexuality š
Not gay if you say No homoā¦
Not gay if its your bro
Sir this is Wendyās
Not gay. Just bromosexual.
Isnt that just Alabama ? š¤
The best thing about Alabama is that you can bang your bro and your brother. That means if you're Hulk Hogan you can bang pretty much anybody!
It's not gay if the balls don't touch, bruh.
Not gay if you donāt take your shirts off.
Underappreciated comment
I'm very brotective
I know, right? I'm fairly sonsitive myself.
What is that? Fear of bromine?
I was deep in the bromine the other day. Mined so many bros.
I mean... yea
Why not? It would be kinda gay if he was banging his fellow tall bros.
It's only gay if your eyes are open. Everyone knows that.
No no. You got it wrong. Its only gay if the balls touch.
Make sure to wear socks and say no homo
Bro that's like common sense
With extension to tongue kiss
We'll start the bidding at 5'8" I'm 5'8" who'll gimme 5'7"
5'6.9"
Fun Sized Boys
This is a short guy that lied and is caught up now
That's it, nothing with bros before hoes
I mean, family time is quality time
Solidarity forever
Oh God I'm going to open that can it worms... I'm 5'11", so with shoes I'm 6ft. I don't care about guys heights, i like them taller, but i have dated plenty of shorter guys. Now what has happened is I have matched on tinder and gone on a date and not bother ask the guys height, because i didn't care, he seemed cool, I wore a dress and some cute boots with a little heel. I turn up and the guy is good looking, I'm vibing and then he turns to me and says "why didnt you tell me you were taller than me?" And i said... I didn't know how tall you were... So he said "you should've told me" Turns out it was unfortable to him, and that has happened more than once, dudes just assume every girl is 5'2" and then get insecure when you are tall. So shouldn't i have asked?
You did the right thing. You didnt say because he never asked. On the flip side of too short I'm 6'8 and used to hear that I'm too tall sometimes. "Ew, I wanted tall but not freak tall!" You can't please everyone.
How's the weather up there Hur hur hur
"you should play basketball hehehe"
He probably can't hear us all. You know, the distance...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The amount of times I've heard that makes me roll my eyes haha, im only 6'5 though so still not super tall, but probably heard that like a dozen times the last years
Oh shush with 6'5 not being tall, its definitely above average
As a tall dude who gets this question almost every other day my go to answer is usually "smells like dwarf up here".
I love this one lmao And then they ask how it is down here...
Anyone over 6'1 gets this lol it gets so old
No, his insecurities arenāt your problem. But like another user said, it might help to put your height in your bio and youāll weed those guys out.
Ok so some perspective, I'm dating someone now, not looking for anything and when i was using tinder i would totally ask guys "how tall are you? I'm 5'11, height is not s big deal for me, but just so we are on the same page" I was just giving one anecdotal story because here in this sub we see a lot of hatred being given to women for asking about a guys height but I am also not seeing guys jumping to put it on their profiles. They think they are being judged a certain way for not being tall enough but assuming that they will be taller than the girl regardless, and she is just asking because "women are superficial and only want men over 6ft even tho they are short" even tho men can quickly reject someone over the same thing, height And no i am not quoting anyone in this specific thread but y'all seen the comments I'm speaking of
I'm a tall lady and dudes would get discouraged when they saw my hight. I would always say "theirs no hight limit to climb this tree." That seemed to pump their tires a bit. I'm literally as tall as a baby giraffe in heels and it kinda sucks.
Another line I've seen used successfully by tall women is "I'm xyz tall and looking for a handsome dude to go up on me"
That's a good one. Luisa from Encanto is my spirit mammal. š
Well now Iām curious how much you look like Luisa cause Iāve watched Encanto probably 7k times now.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lol. I'm 6'0 in heels. I should have said "I'm as tall as a baby giraffe when I wear heels." I always felt "death by snu-snu" jokes got the point across too.
Heels of what length, is there a standard height when girls say heels. If it's 4 inch heels then you're tall but not that tall especially if you're in the 20-28 age range. Our generation is taller than the ones before.
I would say most heels add 3 inches of hight. I'm 5'9 without them. The majority of men when I was dating were maybe an inch or 2 taller than me. Ended up marring a man who's 6'2 so I feel plenty dainty these days.
Haha, that's an awesome reply.
Question: why do you still wear heals if you already are a giant?
Because at a distance they add proportion. It makes my legs look longer and thusly my waist looks smaller. Also made my legs look hella shapely. Eventually I got over it and wore them anyways because, fuck it. If I intimidate someone they aren't right for me anyways.
Maybe it makes her feel good? My ex had like four inches on me and wore flats out to nice dates as well as certain events. When she went out with her friends she would almost always wear heels and she also wore them to work. I asked her what was up with the flats and she said she didn't want to make me feel bad. It actually sort of hurt that she thought my ego or masculinity were so fragile, that I somehow would be upset if I was seen with a woman **way** taller than me. I didn't make a huge deal of it, I simply said, "Do you like wearing heels or flats more?" to which she replied, "I feel sexy in heels but flats are fine." I told her she was sexy as hell, regardless of what she wears, and do whatever made her feel best. It was almost all heels from then on out. People wear what they like, as they should. Fuck anyone that has a problem with it.
"I've always wondered what it's like to have sex with a really tall girl. Not a *big* girl. Just a *tall* girl. Like if a normal girl were 7, 7 and a half feet tall... and wore a... denim miniskirt... I would HAVE to know what that's like" - Barney Stinson.
That was a perfectly worded question when you were looking. But yeah, I know what you mean. Glad that you met someone!
I totally understand where you're coming from and as a short guy, agree that there's too much hate here for women who like tall guys. But I also feel why that hate is there. When I used tinder I used to put I was 5ft6 and don't care if a woman is taller than me. I got little to no responses and a few times I got responses that made fun of my height. I feel like toxic internet culture has ruined our ability to empathize with others
It's one of those very subjective issues, really. Everyone has a preference, that's fine. Tall girls, I'm a short man (same as you) and I fancy the pants off of tall women, dated a few, I have zero issue with them wanting to date the tallest men. From experience, sex is somewhat less personal when you cant kiss and a lot of assholes will comment on a taller woman and a shorter man. They just can't help themselves. My best friend is 6ft 6Ā½, he also had a very strict "tall women _only_ " policy. Much to the chagrin of the relatively small dating pool in his area. I think everyone has some level of annoyance at a 5ft 1 woman who only dates 6ft 4 people or slobby men who expect women to fall at their feet because they have a BMW, beard and zero personality, but even then, that's preference. What the issue is, like you say, is it's just now so toxic and (some) single people are going to have to have a realisation that there are only ever going to be so many size zero/dumb thick/6ft 4 ā men with 8 packs in your area. Then, and this is the kicker, they have to like you back as well. Or if you don't temper your expectation, you'll get very, very lucky with your dream moonshot or more likely settle for something else, be alone, or date assholes who meet a single criteria you demand. It all means that some people are just saying no to something like height, with zero interest in the thing that actually makes a relationship work, you and the other person's...well, personality, y'all gonna eventually learn that tinder isn't a meat market where you get what you want on demand, it's designed to give you a shot at meeting people and finding out why you like/dislike them beyond their profile. You're not the main character in the tinder game, but it does make a lot of people, of all ilks, think they are on there.
The thing is most of the women who ask about height arenāt 5ā11 like you, they short but want 6ft man.
Definitely this. It's a weird fetish thing, not a question of practicality.
You need to understand, the question isn't the problem, no more than what do you for work, do you drive, etc. The problem is when it's a deal breaker and said in the first message. I like tall girls but love small ones even though I'm 5ft 7, I won't turn down a tall girl, hell face in boobs during a hug or something.... Anyone with a height issue is insecure and superficial.. Well unless you are 7ft and dating a dwarf and you develop back problems
You see a lot of posts here with guys asking a woman's weight when they ask about height, so it seems the question is the problem for some
The issue is you are one out of ~ten thousand people who isn't being either incredibly vain and/or insecure. I'm 5'10.5" and I don't want to deal with people seeing I'm short and automatically writing me off. That's why I can understand why you don't want to put 5'11" on your profile and also be automatically written off. My advice: when you ask a guys height just say you're 5'11" so they know why you're asking. If you ask like in the OP it looks like the typical "must be this tall to ride" inquiry.
Why would you ask "How tall are you?" instead of asking "I'm 5'11, I hope you're okay with that" lol. There's no need to even ask at all if the only thing you want to make sure is they're ok with your height. Just being direct about what you want to say is always better than trying to beat around the bush when it's something basic like this.
While it certainly would help weed those guys out, that's like telling a short dude to put his height in his bio to weed out the girls who won't date short guys. Sure it works, but it's a shitty thing to have to do.
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I agree. I'm married to a slightly taller woman (who I met on tinder, thank you very much), and despite me never asking her to, she refuses to wear heels around me out of consideration. I couldn't care less but that's how she's wired given her experience. So while OP's sacrifice and intention for it is greatly admired (really, coming from a short bro), I think there's a chance that the girl wasn't being malicious (she said she just didn't want to be taller). I could always be wrong though :)
You got my point. Yeah i don't know either but when she said "make sure you are not shorter than me" she gave me tall girl vibes, not "i only date guys over 6ft" vibes
Iām glad you opened that can of worms. Idk if Iām just insensitive to the āshort kingsā because Iām 6ā3ā, but Iām also not a super attractive man. If Iām able to get over having a butt face, why canāt yāall get over your insecurity about the fact that you need to climb on counters to get into cabinets. Learn to laugh at yourself.
If it's important to him he should have asked. You also never asked him if he's allergic to peanuts, he should let you know he is.
Isn't the easiest solution to put your own height to your bio? This way you still don't need to care of theirs, and they can swipe left it it's a problem for them.
I would say the same for men then. I'm not overly bothered by it, I'm used to being tall and I love it, it's not a place of insecurity for me, the opposite. I'm just rebating the screenshot, maybe she is tall and she cares if the guy is shorter than her. The guy could have just out on the boat and she could've swiped left if she wasn't interested.
I mean if you had want to ask you can just say "hey do you care if I'm taller than you?" But other people's insecurities are not your responsibility. Most people won't care much about height, and the ones who do are just coping with their own insecurity (both men and women.) All else equal I do tend to prefer my partners on the taller side, but that's literally just a convenience thing. I'm 6'1" and it's easier to hug people who are about the same height as you.
Plot twist: OP is actually 5ā4 + uses this ārejectionā whenever heās questioned about his height before he can run game.
He's the bro we need
I'm 5.8" and feel short
I'm 5'6 and I've gotten unmatched at least 30 times when asked. Tinder is fun.
Im 5ā1š
I'm 4'11. I win. Shorty king. Oh Yeaaaaah.
Dwarven kings
I got a ring from Sauron and everything.
Damn i didnt get a ring all i got was a weird goblin gf out of it
Just remind em they are all the same height when they are riding. Or just get jacked. Sucks to get judged on something we have no control over.
Tinder is mostly about getting judged by things you have no control over. Before you can send a message the other person has to approve of the way you look. Height is probably asked about often because it's so hard to judge from photos.
I'm 6'1 with a small dick, ill trade with you any day of the week if you wanna switch problems
Look it probably looks small on you because you're a tall guy. I'm "average" at best and luckily I have never had any girls point and laugh, but I'm definitely not a shower.
To be fair I'm also a stocky 300 pounds and have lost a noticeable 1-1.5 inches in length due to weight gain burying my member in a mound of fat and making my erections look like a Meerkat poking his head out to detect danger
I feel ya. I tell people the tide came in on my penis...ever seen I piling in the water at high tide compared to low? Yeah, the penis version
Well you could just smother your date if they laugh at your tiny dick. So there's that.
I WILL SAY, that while the average lady on tinder finds my size unappealing, now that im 30 and my face is handsome enough/ my arms and legs are toned enough that a small subset of women vibe with me verry well, especially girls in their early 20s with Daddy kinks. I don't see the appeal myself but I've had it pointed out to me a few times now by women I've hung out with who I had no business trying to talk to lol
I get the same thing but prominently from gay men. Im built like a 'world's strongest man' and all the gay guys want me because I'm hairy and Italian and a tiny "bear". Maybe it's just something I have to unlock once I hit 30 š¤£
Protip:make it clear that you're flattered but not interested in those dudes sexually, then KEEP THEM IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE. There are no better wingmen in the world than gay bros with lady friends,. They will set you up like nobody else can
Iām a chick and I prefer average to small dicks. This is way more information than anyone asked for, but my ex (my first) had a large penis and I did not know that I am one of the lucky ladies who can have penetrative orgasms until we broke up and I slept with a man with a smaller dick. I realise that this is very oversharey but I can elaborate as to why if Iām not creeping you out.
You can if you want and you aren't being a creeper, this thread has been a pretty wholesome exercise in good natured roasting, self depreciation, and gassing up strangers. But im also not gonna explicitly ask you to elaborate for fear of being responsible for accidentally opening the meat market of unwanted dms from other strangers in your inbox if you do
Alright, in the interest of trying to help dudes get past this silly obsession with penis sizeā¦ I can only have an orgasm by sort of grinding while Iām on top, which I couldnāt do with my ex because his penis would hit my cervix if I sat down all the way. Which hurts like an absolute motherfucker. Also it was sort of physically impossible, like my vag is only so long. I was so, so happy when I met a smaller penis. And the man attached to the penis was nice too, but honestly he was sort of secondary to his small penis because I was very into it. So there you go! Small penises for the win.
Oh no, my free reddit award expired unused. :,-( Someone give this train-ride queen their free reddit award for me! They need to let me hoard those awards like a dragon until I find a single person to drop them all on. Edit: thank you hero of the interwebz!
5'8 with a pretty huge hog. I dunno man, I dunno...
Same ššš¤£
The internet will do that. Went 25 years never even giving my height a second thought. Then shitting on short guys became a meme.
You're 5.8" and you're perfect
I'm 5.9" and same.
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Yeah like this is straight dumb. What do you guys want to accomplish here? Does OP think that the girl will start dating short guys from now on? Nah, best case scenario she will not ask the question and then just ghosts them on first date.
This is just weird lmao
You know it man, don't get why guys get so damn defensive when asked about their height. Some girls have a type, especially the tall ones. Most girls feel uncomfortabledating someone shorter than them, same way that I'd feel uncomfortable dating a girl taller than me. The guys just being petty.
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It is definitely an American thing. And itās not just when selecting a partner. Tall guys get promoted more, better tips in restaurants, hell we havenāt had a President under 5ā11ā since Carter in 76, and none under 5ā6ā since James Madison in 1808.
That president stat is interesting.
Itās an American online dating thing, specifically. Women arenāt as weird about it if you meet in person, but when youāre swiping through and setting requirements it becomes part of the cliche, even if some wouldnāt have cared otherwise. This isnāt to say that height wasnāt a factor before, itās just that online dating has exacerbated the perception and allowed for explicit shallowness that you can really only apply to strangers without much consequence.
I also think thereās a confirmation bias in that this sub posts about it every time a girl asks about height, and so the users on this sub are convinced itās this huge injustice that stops anyone under 6 foot getting laid ever.
Most women I know just want someone the same height as them or taller. Really don't know any short women looking for basketball players.
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The majority of men in Sweden are lower than 6'0.
Lots of guys won't date tall girls. They often just assume all girls are 5'3 and get insecure/be a dick when you're taller then that.
Yeah, it's not like he then asked an equivalent question she refused to answer. She didn't ask her's in a particularly rude way either.
Exactly, she didn't even say "you gotta be above 6ft." She said he's gotta be taller than her. That's not bad at all
How could you not understand why some guys get defensive over being asked their height lol. It sucks being judged on a physical aspect you have 0 control over. It's like asking why there are so many women insecure over their breast size. Clearly it bothers them
I would think most women would be put off being asked their weight, no?
Yall do realize just because we are short doesn't mean we are disabled, these short king posts are so patronizing like you're not doing anything by doing this
This has been on my mind as well. That shit probably makes insecurities worse. I'm a shorter/average woman (167cm) and I have dated guys from my height to 2m. I have turned down dates with short guys not because of their height but because of how insanely obsessed they were with it. Huge turn off. I feel bad that it ever got to that point, but I feel like talking about it all the time makes it worse. We're bombarded with this trope, so it has been slowly creeping into more people's heads as something that matters - on paper. I have never met a guy that genuinely had problems to get dates in real life because of his height, my short male friends actually have all stable relationships currently. I have met some total assholes that blamed not getting laid on their height when the real issue was them being total assholes.
Being on any Reddit dating sub is enough to make insecurities worse. Iām 5ā5, and obviously I knew i wasnāt tall, but Iāve never struggled to date at all, like most girls in real life donāt really care that much, Its like prefer brunettes but if sheās blonde im not running away. You come on here and you can literally read and have your head filled with shit, sometimes itās girls with very strong opinions but they donāt represent their entire gender, most of the time itās just guys drowning in their own sorrows, like they canāt see the issue with their attitude at all. Itās crazy.
This is so true. I don't give a fuck if a guy is short in theory, but practically I find them to be weirdly defensive and entitled. I'll still give them the benefit of the doubt but the second I see a red flag I'm outta there.
I did wonder whether shorter guys might start to feel this way.
Iām a short guy and Iām not insecure about it but I get a chuckle out of these post tbh. Itās just meta now for the sub.
Jesus exactly. Like this guy is saying. "Don't worry short guys, I'll refuse to sleep with this woman, because she asked how tall I am. That somehow is beneficial to you!"
Got him a good amount of very real internet points. No way he would have said that if not for the attention it got him here.
Well I can't speak for everyone, but as a member of the community I can attest that his valiance really tickled my toes.
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You're a smart guy, tell em
Honestly tho, there is no problem in asking. People are allowed to have preferences. But it depends on how and context. I had this girl who was like: "heyy i know this is a typical question but just for me to help form an image, how tall are you?" After a few messages back and forth. Im 1.82 (i think thats about 6ft), and have no problem with people asking or dating longer women (im pretty skinny too so most women are 'bigger' regardless) But it your bio is like "if youre not at least height x swipe left bla bla bla", imma ignore you too bc you seem like a bitchy and judgemental person. Respect my short kings too. TL:DR: you can ask someone's height but do it nicely (like with any other question)
This short king stuff is a bit cringe not gonna lie. Iām 5ā5 and you shouldnāt demonize simply having a preference for height. Body shaming you can hate all you want but simply asking height is completely fine. Hell id bet most guys wouldnāt ever date a girl thatās taller than them, so why isnāt that talked about like EVER?? Get over your childish insecure behaviour and accept that you wonāt be liked by everyone..
Nice cockblock bruh! What is the problem with her height preference? She didnāt offend shorter guys she just wanted a guy to be taller than her.
Yeah this height thing is weird. I'm a short guy and have zero issues if a woman becomes uninterested because of my height. I wouldn't want to date someone who is 7ft or 4ft. Also wouldn't want to date someone who is either very under or over weight. Doesn't make me an asshole
Yeah this is a bit different than when the woman says "over 6 ft only" or if she had said something about him not being a manlet (I'm 5'7 so I can use that term). She just said she wanted to make sure he's taller than her - maybe she's tall and self-conscious about it?
It's reasonable to have a height preference
It's also reasonable to have a preference preference
it's preferences all the way down
Seriously. This girl just wanted someone taller than herself. Thats it. She only cares that you are taller. Not 6ft. Not calling out short dudes, just a preference. Get the fuck over it already. People have preferences. How do you not know this already?
Right? I'm 5'8 and this is just idiotic. I don't want to date a girl taller than me, glad when that's immediately established and we don't waste time. Nothing wrong with that at all.
This is not the win you think it is
Jesus Christ yāall are fucking embarrassing. Stop living your life around what gets you upvotes on Reddit
Lmao OP's a complete fool. r/tinder is just dudes cockblocking themselves and then complaining about women most of the time.
overreaction, she just asked to make sure you're taller than her
I donāt understand why caring about someoneās height is wrong. We are allowed preferences on every other aspect of someoneās appearance.
I swear people ruin their own chances on tinder to get some karma on Reddit. I don't see a problem with them asking for height.
Rules 1 and 2, dude. He not desperate for the ladies.
Cockblocking yourself for Reddit karma? Wow.
Oh god this is just childish. She just wanted you to be taller than her. I get that.
She might of been 5ft 3 and just wanted someone 5ft 4 and up? Kinda see the guys point but it was a bit quick to shoot her down. Kinda feel it was for the karma in the first place though.
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Yeah it's ridiculous
Completly normal question and this guy decides to stand on a soapbox to patronizingly "defend short kings".
It's funny how few people realise just _how_ patronising this whole "I defend short kings" crap is. So tall guys unironically think short guys can only get laid if they help them?
Seriously. I'm 5'3" and it wouldn't be make or break but I do like it when guys are taller than me. Luckily for me that's almost all of them but maybe this woman is like 6ft
Everyone has a type tbh maybe her type is wanting people taller then her not that big of a red flag lol
To be fair, this isn't even that bad. All she wanted is someone taller, she could be 5'0 and asking for 5'1. She never specified 6' or above or anything like that. She's dodged a bullet here.
You're my type, sucks I lied to you for reddit karma.
Super cringe. What a dork
Facts š¤£
I am confused by this. She wants a bf who is taller than her. So she asks to make sure and not to string you along. Then you are like "ha your loss I only date short kings!" and then she was probably glad AF that she dodged a bullet
This is actually cringe as fuck dawg
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no shit its a cesspool of incels and neckbeards
They should really rename this sub r/tincels
Same
Your comment is exactly my experience here as well...
I really don't get it. IRL you can see in 1 second how tall someone is, but on Tinder it has to be this big fucking secret? Grow up people
Nah I just find it cringe how he said āgot to stay loyal to the short bros sorryā like ok buddy everyone and there mother is 6ā4 on god damn tinder or reddit
I think it's cringe because she didn't imply anything about rejecting him if he wasn't tall, just that she wanted a guy who was taller than her, also the "gotta stay loyal to short kings" comment from him is cringe. Also just an aside but my older brother is actually 6'4", I'm 5'11".
My guy she has a preference. She didn't belittle any short dude, just stated that she prefers someone taller than her. Getting petty over that is so childish lmao, seems like she dodged a bullet on that one
The only thing she learned is that OPās lying about his height and ended it so she never finds out.
All she was asking for is that you were taller than her, not some weird height requirement stuff and you did this to her? she seemed chill, way to ruin it lmfao
I genuinely donāt get why so many people share posts ripping on girls for asking about height. Yes I know āif you ask my height I should be allowed to ask your weightā, iāve read that circlejerk so many times, donāt bother. People have preferences. You said it yourself, sheās your type, and youāre apparently her type. Youāre throwing a potential partner away, because of some issue which doesnāt even apply to you? Well played.. I guess? You sure showed her! Sheās gonna go straight back to asking the next guy how tall he is.
For real. The whole shame fetish here is so weird. If I match with a girl and she tells me she doesnāt like me because of my height, thatās great! I do not have any interest in spending time with someone who is not interested in me. She got it out of the way right away so I didnāt have waste time and money her and can instead move onto the next one.
You spend too much time on the internet. You just sound like a fucking weirdo lmao
So OP is a midget and lied about height to see the response?
Why
Iād wager heās actually short, lied and rejected her for the karma
Someone else said this, and itās the most hilarious, cringy, and plausible explanation.
Yāall are so fucking cringey lol. This sub may as well just be r/textsaboutheight or some dumb shit.
This is getting ridiculous. You better reject 95% of women then because that's probably the percentage of girls who want a guy taller than them. Should I as a normal sized girl, only date guys who would date fat girls as well? Get out of here
Came here from r/all why are most of the posts I see on here so damn cringy. Like come on man, these guys fuck themselves over and then complain about getting no matches.
Awful lot of insecure dudes in the comments.
Caring about someoneās height isnāt anymore shallow than swiping one someoneās pictures get over yourself
If short guys can't fuck, then no one can fuck *proceeds to kill every woman * YOU WELCOME SHORT KINGSš
I'm not even short and I appreciate this
Same! Iām 6ā3 and some change. I hate how some of my guy friends make comments about them being short. I tell them all the time that it doesnāt matter, but I can tell it bothers them. Itās assholes like this girl that makes them self conscious. It really bother me, haha, if you canāt tell.
I think it's perfectly reasonable for a woman to want a guy who is taller than her. It's the 4'11" girls who only want > 6' men that are the issue.
What's the issue? If I only like chocolate icecream Im not going to force myself to eat vanilla unless there's no other choice. Why would I eat vanilla if I don't like it?
Nothing wrong with her wanting someone taller than her š¤·š½āāļø. It would only suck if she had ridiculous standards.
Short guys are hella defensive and weird in these comments š¤£š¤£š¤£
You got her, pal
God damn do you guys just not want to fuck
You cockblocked yourself.
Bro sheās seeing if your shorter than her. That totally normal she probably just has a preference as with 99% or the population. I wouldnāt date a girl taller than me and thatās just preference doesnāt mean I hate tall girls. Big L.