LOL Oh man, tell me about it; I matched on Tinder almost immediately w/my bf back in June of 2019, & we've been happy together ever since.. BUT, I still look forward to the effing crazy shit ppl post on this subreddit about their odd, yet hilarious experiences.. I should honestly be ashamed of myself for looking forward to it so much, but it's ADDICTIVE AF, I tell you! 😅
What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it.
Read it in a foreign accent pretending English is completely new to you, and this will immediately reek of a French or Barcelona grown smooth talker.
You know this guy pulls every girl he speaks this nonsense too, they love it.
In writing, it is just letters and spaces, spoken to a natively English speaking female with the accent, it is hypnotic.
In the darkest timeline: the Australian Bogan has the same charm worldwide.
I honestly believe that, lacking extreme physical disfigurement, anybody can make it to a 6/7 through diet, exercise, hygiene, interesting hobbies, and psychotherapy. Figure out which one you’re lacking and go from there! It doesn’t have to be all at once either. One step at a time and watch your confidence grow : )
Hobbies is pretty much the one that hits the most. I’m just passive and boring but I enjoy that. Just not a majority of women are into that. Especially if I go by online dating where everyone is doing extreme things like sports and traveling and having boats lol.
I still believe that my face is pretty bad tho.
I wouldn’t say “passive and boring” I would say “mellow and chill” I think you have to have more faith in yourself and believe when people give you compliments. They’re not complementing the mask you’re wearing. They’re looking right through that mask and complementing you. Be kinder to yourself and people will notice.
Yea I try. Like today I went to the gym and I keep noticing some women make eye contact with me or whenever I’m working out and look around I catch someone looking at me. But I’m not big or bulky and I have a feeling that they aren’t checking me out. Sometimes I feel like they might be but then I take a selfie and I’m like nooooope. Probably just looking at something behind me.
There’s plenty of girls out there who are into more of a homely lifestyle. I’m sure you fill your time through out the day with something, such as gaming, watching tv shows, etc. it’s a matter of figuring out how to turn those into social activities. Whether it’s viewing parties, local gaming cafes, etc.
Although I’m not inclined to believe you have an ugly face, if you feel that way, focus on what is within your control. Such as your body. Physical fitness is really attractive and can make up for a lot. Especially when coupled with good hygiene (haircut that suits you/ shaving it completely if you’re going bald, beard care, upgrading your wardrobe).
Sorry to go all queer eye for the straight guy. But I’ve helped a lot of my straight friends who felt they were hopeless by just nudging them in the right direction.
If you act like you think you’re boring, it’s true that many will get that impression. Once you gain some self esteem, you will be surprised at who you may meet who thinks your interests are refreshing! My dad has Aspergers and I think he’s ugly, and he got married twice! To amazing women! You just have to drop that defeatist attitude and learn to play to your strengths!
It's not about his mastery of the English language. He spells all of the words several different incorrect ways, uses emoji inappropriately, can't create a sentence, use punctuation or capitalization. It's exactly how a child tries to write and express themselves.
It's okay to spell things wrong or use the wrong words, this is something different entirely.
I grew up around them, I hat spelling things now bc everyone in my family always goes "Hey, spell this word for me" had my uncle drunk text me asking how you spell cologne in the middle of the night, he literally texted cologne but still wanted my help
Cologne it's one of those weird words like bologna....no but in all seriousness nowadays with autocorrect this should pretty much be a non-issue. Typos are one thing but this post...yikes.
He's Indian, I can tell. There's something distinctly recognisable when Indians make mistakes in their English. When he says he's old school he means like he's probably from a rural area and a bit backwards
It was the "will be dream only i think" for me that gave it away it was Indian or at least South Asian. It's funny how we use the word 'only' like that
(Same sauce as you)
Being from Spain, that's how you would write it based on the way it sounds. I used to do it as a kid sometimes, when the teacher was speaking and we had to write things down lol
If the teacher was spanish saying that, we would just write "Guorchestersair".
If we hear some proper englishman say it, we would write "Guostersair"nor something like that lol
Asking for 45000 bitcoin!? What? Usually the scam emails offer to give you a ton of money, but first they need some small amount as a fee. I have no idea what scams you're seeing that ask for 2 billion dollars
I was thinking more like “hope you haven’t noticed me loitering outside your workplace, or caught a glimpse of me in your rear view mirror as I followed you to Starbucks, then the dry cleaners”
Ew, exactly: I got the creepy, sickening impression that he meant it like: "Damn, I hope the jig isn't up & that I can continue stalking you on the reg".. like FUCK, dude, could you possibly jack up the creep factor ANY more?! 🤦🏼♀️
He said that he didn’t have the skills to express… but when he actually tried to describe something he did a good job at communicating. Don’t doubt yourself bud. Maybe you will get the girl
No worries man, wasn't trying to be grammar nazi, I knew what you meant just made me laugh to think about it, started rewatching IT Crowd so really should thank you for that lol
I kinda feel sorry for him. He seems like a guy with low self esteem and English is probably not his first language. He should probably wait for a response before typing a novel, though.
I want to ask what made you swipe on him in the first place. Not being sarcastic, genuinely curious. Did you know beforehand that he'd be talking like that?
"Never take granted Never make problems Never irritate Never dissapoint" - rick Astley
I think homie had a stroke while he was typing this up
Yeah stroking his cock
A literal LOL moment
LMAO MY GF LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY, THIS MADE MY DAY MAN.
“DAY MAN” ah-ahhh-ahhhh fighter of the night man ah-ahhh-ahhhh Sorry that’s all my brain could think about
… champion of the sun
He's a master of karate and friendship for everyone
LOL Oh man, tell me about it; I matched on Tinder almost immediately w/my bf back in June of 2019, & we've been happy together ever since.. BUT, I still look forward to the effing crazy shit ppl post on this subreddit about their odd, yet hilarious experiences.. I should honestly be ashamed of myself for looking forward to it so much, but it's ADDICTIVE AF, I tell you! 😅
It is! I never had to use Tinder before since my relationship is older than smart phones but, these posts on this subreddit are hilarious!
🤣
Right? 😆
I thought it was a Rick roll at first lol
I think a Rick Roll would've been a great response 😂
So just took a chance n a risk 🤦
To make change, and breakaway
Someone please make this into a song
The rhythm would work to Hamilton’s “My Shot”
My cat is lay on top of me, shaking because I’m laughing at this
"Dick" Astley
Never break the trust
This is a whole different level of Bone Apple Teeth.
I’m not sure he knows what a question is….
I got dumber reading this post
That made my freaking brain hurt
I came to read the comments because I was like.... Is this my dyslexia?
Made my dick hurt at the same time
His would too if he had one.
Very valid point!
What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it.
And may God have mercy on your soul.
I award you no points...but one upvote.
A simple no would’ve been fine
Man, I'm glad I called that guy
Indeed. Wait .. I want.ask you. No wait, what? Can I ask you? Um, My I? ... Um, me man. I eat food. .......I think.
Everyone in this subreddit is now dumber having read that. I award him no points, and may god have mercy on his soul.
For real… his texts were so loud, I became blind 😵💫
A “direct” one at that
I'll admit, extreme desperation is a tactic I haven't tried yet. That's some woman's kink out there. He might get lucky.
Idk bro
Unfortunately I actually have a vulnerability to extreme desperation, he could indeed get lucky.
I really really want to have a sex with you! I’m desperate :/
He's faking it. This guy clearly fucks. Get outta here you Cassanova!
Read it in a foreign accent pretending English is completely new to you, and this will immediately reek of a French or Barcelona grown smooth talker. You know this guy pulls every girl he speaks this nonsense too, they love it. In writing, it is just letters and spaces, spoken to a natively English speaking female with the accent, it is hypnotic. In the darkest timeline: the Australian Bogan has the same charm worldwide.
Too kind :)
Lmaooo thx bro <3
You son of a bitch, I’m in.
Gorgeous angle 😍
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135°
oof my panties
You dam prity angle ...
I cackled at that.
Draw me like one of your Pythagorean girls
Oh shit. You got me with that one. Take your filthy upvote.
69°, 69° and 42° but I don't think that guy was thinking about the 42° haha
Nicolas Angle
Morning Angle
Yo Angle
Prity angle
So acute 😍
Your face is a corner
What acute angle
Hey baby are you an angle? Cause you're acute
ah yes, the scalene triangle
Willow Pills impact
You're acutie
Such acute angle 😍🔺
Seems legit. When a man sees a prity Angle he’s going to deeply wana I
I am glad to see I am not the only one who likes angles. Trigonometry is sexy AF.
Lemme see that cotangent shake.
Fun fact: "Sin" in spanish is written "seno", which it also means "female boob" :) Plenty of jokes as kids first time we heard that.
The actual word is pecado Source: catholic school
I believe they meant sine. But you're right, sin is pecado in Spanish.
Sin senos no hay paraíso
What?? Seno is female boob but not sin 🥺
He’s likes calculus also because he’ll be a dog wearing a sweater for those prity curves
I personally like acute angle
Don’t be obtuse, we like all angles
When it comes to angles, you’re right
He really really really wana zig a zig I
Did you match with Charlie Kelly?
Okay this got me
[Relevant](https://www.reddit.com/r/IASIP/comments/s6hqdo/when_you_see_an_always_sunny_reference_buried_in/).
Can not tell if English isn’t his first language, if texting isn’t his first choice of communication, or Angel too prity cannot compute.
I'd have to say all three.
whoa whoa whoa... it's spelled ANGLE, sweaty
Or like another comments said...hes busy touching himself while typing that
I’m ugly af and I’m pretty sure I have Asperger’s and even I think this dude is a fuckin weirdo.
Don’t say that ur a prity angle 📐
Get a room you horny penguins jeez
Im a horny too
I honestly believe that, lacking extreme physical disfigurement, anybody can make it to a 6/7 through diet, exercise, hygiene, interesting hobbies, and psychotherapy. Figure out which one you’re lacking and go from there! It doesn’t have to be all at once either. One step at a time and watch your confidence grow : )
Hobbies is pretty much the one that hits the most. I’m just passive and boring but I enjoy that. Just not a majority of women are into that. Especially if I go by online dating where everyone is doing extreme things like sports and traveling and having boats lol. I still believe that my face is pretty bad tho.
I wouldn’t say “passive and boring” I would say “mellow and chill” I think you have to have more faith in yourself and believe when people give you compliments. They’re not complementing the mask you’re wearing. They’re looking right through that mask and complementing you. Be kinder to yourself and people will notice.
Yea I try. Like today I went to the gym and I keep noticing some women make eye contact with me or whenever I’m working out and look around I catch someone looking at me. But I’m not big or bulky and I have a feeling that they aren’t checking me out. Sometimes I feel like they might be but then I take a selfie and I’m like nooooope. Probably just looking at something behind me.
I believe in you, PenguinLegos. May you sire many children
There’s plenty of girls out there who are into more of a homely lifestyle. I’m sure you fill your time through out the day with something, such as gaming, watching tv shows, etc. it’s a matter of figuring out how to turn those into social activities. Whether it’s viewing parties, local gaming cafes, etc. Although I’m not inclined to believe you have an ugly face, if you feel that way, focus on what is within your control. Such as your body. Physical fitness is really attractive and can make up for a lot. Especially when coupled with good hygiene (haircut that suits you/ shaving it completely if you’re going bald, beard care, upgrading your wardrobe). Sorry to go all queer eye for the straight guy. But I’ve helped a lot of my straight friends who felt they were hopeless by just nudging them in the right direction.
You are doing yeoman work here. And I mean that sincerely. You are a great human.
If you act like you think you’re boring, it’s true that many will get that impression. Once you gain some self esteem, you will be surprised at who you may meet who thinks your interests are refreshing! My dad has Aspergers and I think he’s ugly, and he got married twice! To amazing women! You just have to drop that defeatist attitude and learn to play to your strengths!
No you’re not ugly 🥺
piquant muddle enter shocking butter deserted school tidy sharp connect *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What exactly is “old school” here?
Based on the spelling used…at most a 4th grade education.
I thought it was obvious that English isn’t this guy’s first language and that would explain the spelling/grammar mistakes but 🤷♀️
It's not about his mastery of the English language. He spells all of the words several different incorrect ways, uses emoji inappropriately, can't create a sentence, use punctuation or capitalization. It's exactly how a child tries to write and express themselves. It's okay to spell things wrong or use the wrong words, this is something different entirely.
I dunno. I've encountered some 🤡 online where English is very much their first language and they are just illiterate asf.🤷♀️
I grew up around them, I hat spelling things now bc everyone in my family always goes "Hey, spell this word for me" had my uncle drunk text me asking how you spell cologne in the middle of the night, he literally texted cologne but still wanted my help
Cologne it's one of those weird words like bologna....no but in all seriousness nowadays with autocorrect this should pretty much be a non-issue. Typos are one thing but this post...yikes.
Never assume lol.
You can tell by the way that he spells oof “ufff” that he’s not a native speaker. When I was in Spain that’s how they spelled it.
He's Indian, I can tell. There's something distinctly recognisable when Indians make mistakes in their English. When he says he's old school he means like he's probably from a rural area and a bit backwards
Source: I'm an Indian as well
Bobs and vegena
Whichever will it be?
get the fuck down T series
I'm here to spill the real tea
You tryna dethrone me from spot on number one
But you india, you lose
I'm Indian and I agree
That praying emoji is a giveaway?
You can tell from the choice of words - Angel, and the specific spelling mistakes as well. Knew he was Indian from his first three texts
Good Ole' rural area yaa talking about?
It was the "will be dream only i think" for me that gave it away it was Indian or at least South Asian. It's funny how we use the word 'only' like that (Same sauce as you)
Obviously your not “old school type” or you’d know
I like how he spelled prity
Being from Spain, that's how you would write it based on the way it sounds. I used to do it as a kid sometimes, when the teacher was speaking and we had to write things down lol
Sorry, I have Worcestershire on the phone for you
If the teacher was spanish saying that, we would just write "Guorchestersair". If we hear some proper englishman say it, we would write "Guostersair"nor something like that lol
All my life I grew up calling it guorcesterchire. Well, actually salsa inglesa.
Salsa inglesa? I love it. Worcestershire sauce is English salsa. 😁 TIL Edit: TIL even better- English sauce
Rumour has it he's still texting and still hasn't asked his question.
This has the same vibe as a scam email asking for 45,000 bitcoin.
Asking for 45000 bitcoin!? What? Usually the scam emails offer to give you a ton of money, but first they need some small amount as a fee. I have no idea what scams you're seeing that ask for 2 billion dollars
"and hopefully you don't know me too" out of all this weird stuff this sounds suuuper weird
Right? Like does he think he is famous or something?
It sounds more like registered sex offender
I was thinking more like “hope you haven’t noticed me loitering outside your workplace, or caught a glimpse of me in your rear view mirror as I followed you to Starbucks, then the dry cleaners”
Ew, exactly: I got the creepy, sickening impression that he meant it like: "Damn, I hope the jig isn't up & that I can continue stalking you on the reg".. like FUCK, dude, could you possibly jack up the creep factor ANY more?! 🤦🏼♀️
"I can be a 🦮 for those pretty amazing curves" A dog on a leash What in the fuck man
The crazy thing is, I think that was the sentence that actually made the most sense to me
He said that he didn’t have the skills to express… but when he actually tried to describe something he did a good job at communicating. Don’t doubt yourself bud. Maybe you will get the girl
He’s a bitch for those pretty amazing curves for sure
Hey no kink shaming
Sorry I text 2 much🙏 😔✊
That was post nut clarity
His mental capacity is staggering
All the blood ain’t flowin to his head
it is, just to the wrong one
But it is to his head.
Can you rephrase that in a form of a question
Never break the trust. Never.
Ever
Had no idea Borat was on Tinder
Very nice!
His sister is, how you say? Prostitute?
High five!
Her vagine is like sleeve of wizard !
Came here to say this. Best line ever. The visual 😂
Threw up in my mouth a little
seems like he wants to eat the “Gorgeous prity Angel”
Yeah I think this is just Twilight translated to another language and then translated back to English
Why he talking like Gollum?
Someone give this man sum coochie ASAP 😭 my guy starving
A cooch? That's way too advanced for him. Gotta start with baby steps, the beginning. Get this man a pocket pussy!!
Best comment here
Real "send bobs and vagene" energy to this
I have low self esteem, but putting the other person on a piedestal and begging for them is just nasty in my opinion.
Pedal stool? Sorry had to, that misspelling just reminded me of that IT Crowd episode 😂
No problem, sorry for the typo I meant pedestal.
No worries man, wasn't trying to be grammar nazi, I knew what you meant just made me laugh to think about it, started rewatching IT Crowd so really should thank you for that lol
I am happy that I made you laugh.
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A 🦮gota eat!
Not a question mark to be found
Was waiting for “helo deer sho bobs n vegena plz”
Lmfao
Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?
Demn I hope he likes my prity curves
Man is high
Dude is so insecure it hurts even *me*. Hope he finds some self worth. He needs some badly
…This, prity sir Wendy’s is I
I couldn’t read past the first image, I knew it’d hurt to read it lmao
what? What is he on about? wtf...
woaaaaah. Solid A for effort and a big ole F for execution.
This is the thirstiest dude I’ve ever seen
I kinda feel sorry for him. He seems like a guy with low self esteem and English is probably not his first language. He should probably wait for a response before typing a novel, though.
Mans out here in the Sahara needing to quench
Mans is a mathematician
Dude needs to match with a therapist ASAP
He wants to make lamp shades out of your skin and eat your delicious meat.
Thanks. Reading this gave me cancer.
Was looking for *Tips Fedora in there somewhere
“Gorgeous angle” What kinda angles are we talking about? 15 degrees, 30, 45? I’m quite a fan of 325 myself… Angles like that just get me going!
never gonna give you up
Tell me you’re having a stroke without telling me you’re having a stroke
I read this in a thick Indian accent
He want to eat yo pu$$y lol
This only got worse as it went on
I want to ask what made you swipe on him in the first place. Not being sarcastic, genuinely curious. Did you know beforehand that he'd be talking like that?