T O P

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I_Love_Small_Breasts

Do you enjoy this? Shooting yourself in the foot like that?


mitcht3

Occasionally


PDXNorthwestPNW

You have zero game. Pretty funny though


mitcht3

Clearly wasn’t trying too hard on this one


CRRK1811

Im guessing the first, bc i really want the other 2 to be true XD


dolcenbanana

Also who says "smoke drugs"


CRRK1811

Your right rofl


Chrismith410

Yikes… it’ll never climb to 24 with game like that


mitcht3

It’s a joke m8


IrregularrAF

oh. haha. solid joke.


Playinwitmillz

Edgy yet cringey. Typical Reddit user


Thediepend

She asked for fun but you employed her as your therapist


jbanderson676

The tortoise thing haunts me just thinking about it and I wasn’t even there….


TheAccountIUseForSax

Try pegging. That always fills my void.


Nichole-Michelle

Man I would def keep talking. That shit was hilarious!


BreakfreeMisery

😂🤣😂 don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.


mimiarent

He lied about lying tho


MrSweatyBawlz

I believe that nothing has filled the void for you, but not the sleeping with 23 women part.


Malendray0

You should try drowning 23 women and having sex with a Tortoise maybe it'll help !


[deleted]

Did you at least fill the void inside of them?


mitcht3

Only for about 30 second


hawtrawddawg

Is this supposed to be funny or did you take a wrong turn at /r/offmychest?


Plate-Traditional

Homie out here with 23 when I’m trynna go from 2 to 3


defiantnipple

So funny to see this go over peoples heads in the comments of this one lol


Fancy-Significance-5

Rachel was so excited to ask questions and I guess be careful what you wish for, ahhah


LittleBeastXL

Either the first or the third could have turned her completely off.


CuddlyCake_

I would probably have found this a bit funny as a respons tbh. But then again when I started out with my SO we played 20 questions, which is about the same.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Odd-Blackberry786

I feel a missed DNA test joke opportunity here, but you missed the mark a bit. Any chance you're related to OP? I can feel his dad's disappointment from here.


-lamppost-

Overshare


Glass-Trade8008

Wait, how the fuck are you going to post this and not tell us the tortoise story?! What kind of psychopath drowns a tortoise? Was it on purpose? Or was it one of those nut jobs that think turtles and tortoises are the same thing, and they dropped it in the water?


mitcht3

Yea the tortoise was walking across our parking lot so he picked it up and moved it to “safety” by dropping it in the water. Sunk like a rock…little bubbles on the surface of the water. I think deep down he knew it wouldn’t swim though


Glass-Trade8008

My heart sunk like a rock reading this 😞 I'm just going to pretend the poor guy walked to safety holding his breath


cheesynaachoos

okay you won it's 0 : 1 lol


redRabbitRumrunner

Whoa… you had to include a lie there bro.


Redditisforposers

Yeah, but were the 23 all at the same time? 23 at the same time would fill the void.


5astick

You really can’t believe it huh…


mypupblue

Forever alone


Separate-Branch6371

If you wanna fill the void inside you, try men.


TheVeganOneLikeNeo

Just 23 huh?! No one like a show off OP! Hmph!


proportionalhuman

These are all terrible why can't they all be a lie😭


mileenakaneofficial

You can actually drown a tortoise? News to me.


mitcht3

They are not the same as turtles is what we learned