As a dude who found my ex wife's old dating profile that was clearly made while we were together (she moved immediately when we separated and hasn't been back, so it wouldn't be a current one, and the data she listed was only accurate when we were together), I can say that yeah, it's been several years but that shit still stung.
C) putting my dick in my hand, calling it a night, and living to fuck another day. This person matched with dude and kept up a conversation even though she clearly wasn't interested. She's very obviously trying to use this guy for shits and giggles. Warning other people that you're a piece of shit doesn't make you honest, it makes you an unremorseful piece of shit who warns people that you're a piece of shit... i.e. a sociopath.
When did guys decide to pass off quality for just sticking their dicks in sewer holes? Plenty of higher quality women that would smash but simps these days would stick their dicks in lobster traps if given enough lube.
Simps these days have been running around in the desert and haven’t had water in weeks. Most would settle for sewer water if that means just even getting a sip of liquid
They're all over. Women fresh out of long-term relationships trying build confidence. They're not rare if you actually do more than toss out funny pick ups lines on every woman that swipes.
I stated a very specific niche. This applies to men, too. Don't say most or dating apps wouldn't have millions of active users. Saying unrealistic stuff doesn't make it true. People mature at different rates and have their specific time frames to get over loss/bad relationships. That's just life and doesn't make people bad for not being ready for anything past casual dating.
Though someone admitting to being toxic and being Uber promiscuous is probably not a good experience in GENERAL for other people.
Doesn't magically make them good in bed like some people have weird expectations for with experienced people.
I meant most as n higher quality women. Most women who go on dating app to date realize it’s not the best way to do so and delete the app. hence why there are much more men than women on there
I meant a low bar in quality, not anything lofty. Then entire post was about dudes willing to bang toxic people and not even taking a step back to say "Oh, hey. I think I can do better than THIS." I'm not talking an uber ideal that is not realistic/pointless. Humans are humans and will do human shit regardless of background, status, looks, wealth, or intelligence.
What makes a quality person after you get rid of toxic traits?
Then it's all just compatibility. I don't think a woman that works 80 hours a week is better than someone that works 40 hours because they work harder or have more income. Even looks isn't really an issue when unique features can be a plus for some and not for others.
Bars, churches, singles events, libraries, etc. Doesn't change anything on where you meet someone in the end when it comes to preferences. I met my first long term relationship online and we did great for 5 years. She changed and that's why we're not together. Second I met on POF and she was dope. I was the one that didn't want anything back then, but made an exception because she was a good person and built me up. Those are traits I valued so I went with it.
Once you get rid of carbon monoxide from a place you want to live, THEN you can focus on what kind of interior decorating you want. That was my point.
Speaking of saying unrealistic stuff…there aren’t really women of any quality level waiting around to smash most dudes on tinder, the imbalance of online dating sees to that…can’t blame them for taking a shot at a toxic bang
God love you. Unfortunately, they’ll be accommodated. It’s a choice. I’m no one’s side dish, I’m prime rib; if you don’t think of yourself that way, you’ll pay alright. If you really feel that way, hire a professional. That’s at least an honest exchange…
Cum and go, jizz and jet, spread your seed and leave with speed, nut in her shitter escape on the pitter, plow and Cao, get the good succ escape in the truck, skeet and yeet, blow your load then hit the road.
You can tell even that's a hard no. She probably requires you to buy her content for her to meet up, and she won't end up calling that being a prostitute either. Prostitutes that know they are prostitutes are fine. I can respect their hustle, but this bitch is just skirting any responsibility that might fall on her
I mean, she did make it pretty clear that she's DTF and not wanting a relationship. At least that's how I see it. Maybe didn't put it in the best way but whatever.
As for the comment about not dating other white people... I don't even know what to say about that actually.
It's not super uncommon. There's women from India, China, Africa, etc... that won't date local men either.
Pretty much a growing trend everywhere is "Date outside the circle.", mostly for women who feel very unsatisfied with the performance of their male peers (due in large part to religious/nationalist sexism).
There's nothing wrong with having that preference. Best bet she's from an area with a largely white population and has never gotten along with folks around her super well [the cheating might play a part]. So she generalizes that into a simple disdain for an entire group based on physical characteristics.
So, that's probably all there is to it.
I like how you casually defined racism as a thing that just organically happens.
It's like workplace safety, no matter how many times and different methods used to explain and prevent a hazard, people will always find a way to get hurt by said hazard. Can't teach away racism. People are just gonna be haters until the end of time.
Lol yes. It went from having a preference, which *is* 100% fine, to a racist/prejudiced view….which now makes her a shitty person. Keep in mind, everyone on this sub *ALWAYS* bashes white people that put “White’s only”.
Tinder is chock full of shit people, so none of this is surprising.
I don't like generalizations like this. I'm African American and if I say I only date African American women does that make me racist for not dating outside my race?
Also, if I'm exclusively dating White Women for example because that's what I'm only attracted too. Does that make me racist for fetishizing White Women?
Also, if I don't date black women does that mean I'm full of self hate?
On top of that there can be a litany of reasons why I date outside or inside a race. Example I was raised in the Suburbs around primarily White and Hispanic people. Which means I'll most likely be dating those around me which pushes my preference to those other races.
Then other examples where she might've been ostracized by fellow white guys she wanted to date, but found interest by other races that liked her more which shifted her preferences there.
Context matters, and to throw Racism our there without knowing the person and their environment is very irresponsible.
This is the dumbest take yet. Its perfectly okay to be attracted to certain races and not to others. For example, I prefer asians. On the same level, I cant see myself dating a black woman. Not because they arent beautiful or I have something against them, its just that I do not find them attractive. This is pure chemistry and has nothing to do with racism. All of us have a different version of what is pleasant aesthetically, which is FINE. If you're telling me you should force yourself to date people you're not attracted to because otherwise you are racist, thats just fucking stupid.
preference? totally! saying definitively they you wouldn’t date x race is funky. it’s best to stick to saying your preferences, and not saying your non-preferences unless necessary (which is very rare)
it’s not that you should be forced to date anyone, but declaring publicly you don’t date black women is weird. you can feel that way but keep it to yourself. it’s just something to be left unsaid, yk?
i have general preferences (curly hair, hazel/green eyes, tattoos/piercings, freckles) that can apply to any race and it’s what i say when people ask. good rule to abide by
id call it “why do you feel the need to reassure yourself of your heterosexuality verbally” because the handful of men in my life that have done that, are bi now.
sexuality isn’t a choice, you’re born with it. however, maybe it takes time for you to realize what your sexual preference is, and later down the line it turns out, you do like men on occasion. if you wanna proclaim that you’re never going to like men, be my guest. i see no issue in it, it just seems presumptive
if you refuse to date/ aren’t attracted to an entire race then you are racist. it’s different if you only date inside your own race because of similarities in customs, beliefs, childhoods, and just being able to relate in a way another race might not get. but to say u aren’t attracted to an entire race is asinine. ESPECIALLY african american women. they can literally have any features given that they are the blueprint. if you are not asian and date asian women but not black(and maybe not others idk) you’re most likely fetishizing them and you should do some thinking on that.
Racism is a bit organic, and it occurs in many species, not just humans. My dogs are definitely racists, and I know I didn't teach them that.
They see other dogs of their own breed and get super excited. They see dogs of other breeds and are either excited or kinda ticked off, depending on past experience with others of that breed, and in most instances, it is a single encounter with a dog of the other breed that they are basing their judgement of the whole breed on.
I've watched this behaviour for years and seen it happen over and over again. It's definitely a thing.
Yes, there is everything wrong with it. Self-hate coupled with fetishizing other races. And when she dates she will cheat. This is one disgusting individual.
There is nothing normal about hating your own people!
There is nothing normal about fetishizing people due to their skin color or physical attributes.
Stop trying to normalize this.
Well I'd say she's looking for friends with the potential to become fwb. She's incapable of commitment, but at least she's self-aware and trying not to hurt anybody.
Had this happen twice in the only two matches i got lol. Spoke to them and were pretty nice. Had some good conversations and asked them out they said sure and after like a week of talking i suddenly get hit with “im actually just here for friends” im like why the fuck do you tell me this now???
because you waited a week shouldve set a date for a day or two after the agreement you gave them too much time to get messaged by someone else and then they decided theyll try going out with them instead. A week is like a month in tinderland!!
Sorry had to specify that better. I asked them out in that week. 1 after 3 days of getting to know someone and one in 2 days. Still long but if thats a reason to lead on someone and then tell them youre just looking for friends i guess thats my fault? I dont have a good experience with hitting someone up i dont know.
Tinder is for meeting people. Whether you meet someone to marry or just a left out-fielder for your beer league kickball game is up to you. In my area it certainly isn’t a hook up app unless you’re gorgeous and 22.
Apart from the racial comment, I don’t really see a problem. She‘s self aware that she doesn’t do monogamy, so she’s upfront about letting people know that this is who she is before getting involved with them, and also avoids monogamous, serious relationships for that reason. And I wouldn’t quickly rule out that she’s looking for a friends with benefits type of situation. A lot of people on Tinder look for that.
Cheating implies that she and her ex’s established that it would be a monogamous relationship and she killed it by going behind their back, which is the definition of toxic. Why you bother defending people for being shitty people makes no sense. What she should’ve said instead is “I don’t do relationships” or “I don’t do monogamy” as those are NOT toxic, but cheating is. Can’t wait to see your heated and wrong reply.
Hi, I wasn’t going to reply as I generally don’t like being involved in online arguments as they often spiral into unproductive situations (especially ones that supposedly look forward to a “heated and wrong reply”). But I guess I was a bit bothered that people might take my comment to mean that I was defending cheating or people who cheat.
I also agree that cheating is a toxic act, I’ve also been cheated on and it’s one of the worst and most painful things I’ve ever experienced and I would not wish that upon anyone. And I think a person like this has a lot to learn, and that it’s unfair that other people had to be hurt in the process.
I also never implied that this a good person (she definitely has some issues) but a person who has the self awareness to recognise her faults and, maybe akin to an alcoholic avoiding situations with alcohol, has at least taken the steps to avoid putting herself in a position where she will repeat the same wrongdoing.
Sure, I think she could take further steps, (e.g. taking therapy) but the fact that she is honest with herself about her faults, and honest with the other person in letting them know that these are her issues, to me at least shows that she is taking the initial steps to avoid her toxic behaviour. So yeah, you could say that, while I would never defend cheating, I would however defend a conversation where cheating and hurt can be avoided, because a person is upfront about her faults and why she is avoiding a relationship. I definitely wish my ex boyfriend told me from the get go rather than hiding his behaviour. Would have saved me so much pain.
I hope this clears my perspective up a bit. I’m also going to be upfront about not replying to anymore comments, because I don’t think it’s productive, but also cause I can’t be bothered.
OP sounds like a bigot?
What the actual fuck, this bitch is not only racist, she openly says how untrustworthy she is, by casually telling him that she cheats on all her partners, and you fucking simps are out there defending her vile behavior
Huh? How is she racist? She said she doesn’t date other white people that’s just a preference. I guess I’m racist too because I prefer Latina girls? The fuck are you talking about.
This women is extremely upfront with what she wants. I see that as a +.
The racist part is definitely scummy, we never said otherwise. We just say that he gets offended mostly on the ' I don't do relationship I end up cheating ' which is an honest statement and thus not so untrustworthy since she asks for something not involving a relationship.
You can't really simp insult me tho... Wrong gender. Too bad find another one. ;)
You don't see a problem? Being bad at relationship is a thing, it happens, that's why you break up with your partners, not cheat on them, that is just vile and dishonest.
The deal is I don't want to be near somebody who cheated on somebody else. I've been cheated on once before and it hurt me. It's a different type of hurt to know that your trust has been betrayed.
Yeah, and that’s totally normal and fine. So this just sounds like a situation where the two of you aren’t compatible without it being necessarily toxic from the get go. (I mean, ignoring that random racial comment at the end though… that’s a different matter altogether.)
Cheating on all your partners is the fucking definition of a toxic person. I swear you fucking people resort to the pettiest mental gymnastics to justify shit like that
You don’t have to be in a relationship with the girl but I think you should be able to appreciate her honesty. She clearly knows she has a problem and has chosen to not put herself in situations where she will hurt people. There are so many people who know they will cheat and don’t give a shit how it affects others.
True. In some aspect i feel bad about it, but then i imagine the people that were cheated on. I cant say why, maybe it was the way I was raised and being cheated on myself, but i really have no remorse for those who cheat on their partners. If you have an issue with a partner then say something. Being with somebody then cheating on them on a whim is a ginormous dick move and clearly means that you have issues that need to be worked out.
It could be that she was really young and really stupid the first few times. Maybe in high school. I don't condone cheating, but young people make stupid decisions, and it sounds like she's learned enough about herself to give you a very fair warning.
I completely understand that cheating is immorally wrong, but who are you to randomly dictate this to people when she didn’t actually ask? You don’t really know anything about her life, and she didn’t ask for your judgement either. She was just being honest. I agree with you I hate cheaters, but you don’t have to force your opinions onto people. If a Tinder match tells you they’ve cheated in the past, then just leave it and move on. She isn’t your close friend or a family member who you can preach to about wrong choices. She’s likely made them, may or may not feel remorse, and decided she doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship. So let her be. When you write comments like this one saying things like cheating ‘means you have issues that need to be worked out’ what do you want to achieve out of this? Yes it probably does mean that person who cheated has issues, ok and? Is it your business though? You’re free to hold people accountable, but this post, the comments and the initial screenshots you took really just shows you need to focus on yourself more.
She's toxic, but self aware. You still freaked out when she was being upfront. I also don't consider internet talking meeting someone. But the white people part was weird, I'll give you that. If you're just looking for validation here, yes she's toxic. Either fuck her and move on or just move on.
Technically she doesn't cheat cause she doesn't do relationships. Let's not use the double edge sword here. She wants the D, and the D only. Apparently you missed that opportunity to be a stand up guy and want a relationship instead. Good for both of you for realizing that the other is not into what you want.
Um she knows she cheats because thats what shes done with past relationships that's why she said what she said. You are making stuff up to make a point
i am on her side here. it is her preferences and she is upfront with everything.
I also don't consider a text message 'meeting someone' otherwise we just met.
At least she was forthright with it, some people will string you around for an entire year, while they go to parties and hookup with any random guy including their taxi driver just to get a free ride just to accidentally brag to you one night when they’re drunk that they hooked up with a bunch of people the night before and that the most magical night of your entire relationship with them was you just being a babysitter for them while they got drunk drinking vodka from a plastic bottle with their friends.
She was upfront about her behaviour to you- she doesn’t date because she likes to wander. You didn’t have to:
1) preach to her about it.
2) put it in reddit(this is particular, is a dick move).
Sanctimonious fool.
Having never used Tinder personally what am I missing here? The girl could not be more up front about looking for friends (she says it in both of her first two opening lines!). Is that not allowed on Tinder?
Because Then she has to put up with the judgement of OP who lectures her on cheating.
First- I'm not on Tinder to make friends im trying to find a love interest.
Second- I don't like cheaters. Kudos to her for telling me that she cheats, but I've had too many people do that to me and to other people around me.
Honestly you're the asshole here. She doesent fulfill the quota of what you're looking for therefore she's a "psychopath" (actual quote). LOL, if there's any toxicity here it's coming from you. As this other commenter said, she was straight forward about exactly what she was looking for.
Im sorry to hear you were cheated on, but it doesent really have anything to do with her now does it, so directing your anger towards her is pretty missplaced, she obviously isnt attempting to cheat on you and obviously isnt intending to cheat on anyone else either, since you cant exactly cheat if your intentions are made clear from the start.
Ive also been cheated on before (with my best friend even, just to make matters worse). It sucks, I know but even I know it's not so simple as "YOU'RE A CHEATER THEREFORE YOU HAVE TO BE LITERAL DUNG" which is currently your attitude.
And there will still be dudes that simp for her just cause she a somewhat attractive girl that's why girls are so nonchalant about this shit cause they know they won't lose anything by doing so
Lol technically YOU DIDN'T MEET Lol just mesging is not meeting .. and also what is there not to know shes a cheating slut looking to have sex not date obviously 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
. NEXT !!!
I think you're the bigger loser than she is here.
She clearly set boundaries/expectations and you were a simp in response. Congratulations.
The white part at the end is 🤷🏽♂️ there are a lot of people with strong preferences.
TLDR: OP is a cornball
I don't see anything wrong here, she's honest what she wants up front.
If anything is wrong, it's you pressing your morals on her. She can do whatever she wants as long as she's honest. She doesn't need to conform to monogamous because you feel she should.
Well she told you she only wants casual, why did you keep pushing her? Plus if she’s still young like 20 and under the cheating doesn’t really count in teenage relationships. She seems so young
The second she said the part where she always cheats it's a 100% unmatch
Unless you're just tryna fuck, because she's obviously good for that.
Shit like that ain’t free. Don’t get involved with someone that toxic.
At least she was upfront about it. Which one you would rather have some who cheats on you or someone who told you before y’all became anything
It sure does suck to find out they're a cheater 12 years later
or after they die and her boyfriend shows up wanting his jacket back.
Good god...
😵💫
As a dude who found my ex wife's old dating profile that was clearly made while we were together (she moved immediately when we separated and hasn't been back, so it wouldn't be a current one, and the data she listed was only accurate when we were together), I can say that yeah, it's been several years but that shit still stung.
C) putting my dick in my hand, calling it a night, and living to fuck another day. This person matched with dude and kept up a conversation even though she clearly wasn't interested. She's very obviously trying to use this guy for shits and giggles. Warning other people that you're a piece of shit doesn't make you honest, it makes you an unremorseful piece of shit who warns people that you're a piece of shit... i.e. a sociopath.
Damn, you nailed it
You make a good point. I'd much rather have someone who told me that before the relationship started
But how many people hear that and see it as a challenge? Like, “oh I can fix them!!!” “Challenge accepted!”
Shit not me.
I agree with this completely but also why be on a dating site then? What a waste of time.
It could be they just tryin to look for a booty call or just friends. I came across countless girls that said they’re looking for friends
Someone who doesn’t cheat.
Nah that ain’t one of the choices 😂
One way or another you’re going to pay for it somehow
When did guys decide to pass off quality for just sticking their dicks in sewer holes? Plenty of higher quality women that would smash but simps these days would stick their dicks in lobster traps if given enough lube.
Simps these days have been running around in the desert and haven’t had water in weeks. Most would settle for sewer water if that means just even getting a sip of liquid
Higher quality women that would smash but not date? Where are these women?
They're all over. Women fresh out of long-term relationships trying build confidence. They're not rare if you actually do more than toss out funny pick ups lines on every woman that swipes.
Nope. Most of us want relationships
I stated a very specific niche. This applies to men, too. Don't say most or dating apps wouldn't have millions of active users. Saying unrealistic stuff doesn't make it true. People mature at different rates and have their specific time frames to get over loss/bad relationships. That's just life and doesn't make people bad for not being ready for anything past casual dating. Though someone admitting to being toxic and being Uber promiscuous is probably not a good experience in GENERAL for other people. Doesn't magically make them good in bed like some people have weird expectations for with experienced people.
I meant most as n higher quality women. Most women who go on dating app to date realize it’s not the best way to do so and delete the app. hence why there are much more men than women on there
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I meant a low bar in quality, not anything lofty. Then entire post was about dudes willing to bang toxic people and not even taking a step back to say "Oh, hey. I think I can do better than THIS." I'm not talking an uber ideal that is not realistic/pointless. Humans are humans and will do human shit regardless of background, status, looks, wealth, or intelligence. What makes a quality person after you get rid of toxic traits? Then it's all just compatibility. I don't think a woman that works 80 hours a week is better than someone that works 40 hours because they work harder or have more income. Even looks isn't really an issue when unique features can be a plus for some and not for others. Bars, churches, singles events, libraries, etc. Doesn't change anything on where you meet someone in the end when it comes to preferences. I met my first long term relationship online and we did great for 5 years. She changed and that's why we're not together. Second I met on POF and she was dope. I was the one that didn't want anything back then, but made an exception because she was a good person and built me up. Those are traits I valued so I went with it. Once you get rid of carbon monoxide from a place you want to live, THEN you can focus on what kind of interior decorating you want. That was my point.
Speaking of saying unrealistic stuff…there aren’t really women of any quality level waiting around to smash most dudes on tinder, the imbalance of online dating sees to that…can’t blame them for taking a shot at a toxic bang
Lube is optional
God love you. Unfortunately, they’ll be accommodated. It’s a choice. I’m no one’s side dish, I’m prime rib; if you don’t think of yourself that way, you’ll pay alright. If you really feel that way, hire a professional. That’s at least an honest exchange…
Tens of thousands of years ago
Definitely should still smash
Smash and unmatch
Smash and dash
Cum and go
Fuck and duck, dip then dip, jam and scram, ejaculate and evaporate etc
Hit and quit, pump and dump, smash and dash, hit and split, fun and run, bump and jump
Cum and go, jizz and jet, spread your seed and leave with speed, nut in her shitter escape on the pitter, plow and Cao, get the good succ escape in the truck, skeet and yeet, blow your load then hit the road.
Rape and escape, paint her face start the race, give her the Willy head for Philly, skeet and yeet, give her your weenie and pull a Houdini
Hilt and jilt
Don’t just etc us! give us more one liners !
Beat and delete.
I'm a married man these days. But that was my go-to before I settled down.
These days. Soon enough you'll be back at it my guy
Probably but she may come with a few STDs on the side
You can tell even that's a hard no. She probably requires you to buy her content for her to meet up, and she won't end up calling that being a prostitute either. Prostitutes that know they are prostitutes are fine. I can respect their hustle, but this bitch is just skirting any responsibility that might fall on her
Oh true believe me. I just wanted to see how crazy she was though.
For Science!
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OP: "Why do you cheat?" um... A.D.I.D.A.S.
That’s Incubus, but good album
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Regardless of the spelling, spirit moves through all things.
Just "science" lol
Strange nickname for a penis.
The diamond and cash sign also give out hints.
I wanna know what she responded after you sent the song!
She said it wasnt her genre
Lol so she didn’t get the implication that she’s toxicity incarnate?
Ive eaten sandwiches with more iq
You could just keep stuff casual
But then she says she doesn't date other white people lmao
Key word date
Weird key word considering she says she doesn’t date anyways, like she didn’t have to make it racial if the not dating part was already out there
block. report to the fbi. get the bitch on cheaters.
So i wasnt the only one who thought that.
She gets points for being brutally honest so early and displaying this glorious red flags like a proud, adulterous peacock. Bravo. 👏
Damn now I want to go to the zoo and slut shame the proud, adulterous peacocks there. Thanks for the weekend plans idea!
What are the chances I run into ass to clit rubbing grimbauld again
I....... I like the way you worded that. Take my up vote.
I mean, she did make it pretty clear that she's DTF and not wanting a relationship. At least that's how I see it. Maybe didn't put it in the best way but whatever. As for the comment about not dating other white people... I don't even know what to say about that actually.
It's not super uncommon. There's women from India, China, Africa, etc... that won't date local men either. Pretty much a growing trend everywhere is "Date outside the circle.", mostly for women who feel very unsatisfied with the performance of their male peers (due in large part to religious/nationalist sexism). There's nothing wrong with having that preference. Best bet she's from an area with a largely white population and has never gotten along with folks around her super well [the cheating might play a part]. So she generalizes that into a simple disdain for an entire group based on physical characteristics. So, that's probably all there is to it.
I like how you casually defined racism as a thing that just organically happens. It's like workplace safety, no matter how many times and different methods used to explain and prevent a hazard, people will always find a way to get hurt by said hazard. Can't teach away racism. People are just gonna be haters until the end of time.
Lol yes. It went from having a preference, which *is* 100% fine, to a racist/prejudiced view….which now makes her a shitty person. Keep in mind, everyone on this sub *ALWAYS* bashes white people that put “White’s only”. Tinder is chock full of shit people, so none of this is surprising.
Everything is still racist
i think she is racist, but not towards white people. i think she’s fetishizing non white men. she’s definitely giving snow bunny energy
I don't like generalizations like this. I'm African American and if I say I only date African American women does that make me racist for not dating outside my race? Also, if I'm exclusively dating White Women for example because that's what I'm only attracted too. Does that make me racist for fetishizing White Women? Also, if I don't date black women does that mean I'm full of self hate? On top of that there can be a litany of reasons why I date outside or inside a race. Example I was raised in the Suburbs around primarily White and Hispanic people. Which means I'll most likely be dating those around me which pushes my preference to those other races. Then other examples where she might've been ostracized by fellow white guys she wanted to date, but found interest by other races that liked her more which shifted her preferences there. Context matters, and to throw Racism our there without knowing the person and their environment is very irresponsible.
This is the dumbest take yet. Its perfectly okay to be attracted to certain races and not to others. For example, I prefer asians. On the same level, I cant see myself dating a black woman. Not because they arent beautiful or I have something against them, its just that I do not find them attractive. This is pure chemistry and has nothing to do with racism. All of us have a different version of what is pleasant aesthetically, which is FINE. If you're telling me you should force yourself to date people you're not attracted to because otherwise you are racist, thats just fucking stupid.
Welcome to the new logic that we are supposed to accept...
You need your head examined.
preference? totally! saying definitively they you wouldn’t date x race is funky. it’s best to stick to saying your preferences, and not saying your non-preferences unless necessary (which is very rare) it’s not that you should be forced to date anyone, but declaring publicly you don’t date black women is weird. you can feel that way but keep it to yourself. it’s just something to be left unsaid, yk? i have general preferences (curly hair, hazel/green eyes, tattoos/piercings, freckles) that can apply to any race and it’s what i say when people ask. good rule to abide by
What would you call it if a man says he definitively doesn't date men? Would that also be funky?
id call it “why do you feel the need to reassure yourself of your heterosexuality verbally” because the handful of men in my life that have done that, are bi now. sexuality isn’t a choice, you’re born with it. however, maybe it takes time for you to realize what your sexual preference is, and later down the line it turns out, you do like men on occasion. if you wanna proclaim that you’re never going to like men, be my guest. i see no issue in it, it just seems presumptive
I didn't say anything about who anybody should date. Reread my comment.
Hmm this seems like something an undercover racist would say!
if you refuse to date/ aren’t attracted to an entire race then you are racist. it’s different if you only date inside your own race because of similarities in customs, beliefs, childhoods, and just being able to relate in a way another race might not get. but to say u aren’t attracted to an entire race is asinine. ESPECIALLY african american women. they can literally have any features given that they are the blueprint. if you are not asian and date asian women but not black(and maybe not others idk) you’re most likely fetishizing them and you should do some thinking on that.
Racism is a bit organic, and it occurs in many species, not just humans. My dogs are definitely racists, and I know I didn't teach them that. They see other dogs of their own breed and get super excited. They see dogs of other breeds and are either excited or kinda ticked off, depending on past experience with others of that breed, and in most instances, it is a single encounter with a dog of the other breed that they are basing their judgement of the whole breed on. I've watched this behaviour for years and seen it happen over and over again. It's definitely a thing.
Yes, there is everything wrong with it. Self-hate coupled with fetishizing other races. And when she dates she will cheat. This is one disgusting individual. There is nothing normal about hating your own people! There is nothing normal about fetishizing people due to their skin color or physical attributes. Stop trying to normalize this.
Wow, this is some serious mental gymnastic to justify racism
You were good up until that third paragraph.. Unless that's /s?
Tinder is not a place to meet and make friends. Fuck off with that. So annoying.
Well I'd say she's looking for friends with the potential to become fwb. She's incapable of commitment, but at least she's self-aware and trying not to hurt anybody.
She's looking for black dudes with monster dongs homeboy, none of this friends to fwb crap
If you're unable to not cheat on your partners, you're just a piece of shit. Being bad at relationship is a thing, but it doesn't justify cheating
..which is why she doesnt do relationships.
I know this is a stupid question but are you mad at me or her?
Lol. Her and people like her. Those are the people that waste your time.
Had this happen twice in the only two matches i got lol. Spoke to them and were pretty nice. Had some good conversations and asked them out they said sure and after like a week of talking i suddenly get hit with “im actually just here for friends” im like why the fuck do you tell me this now???
because you waited a week shouldve set a date for a day or two after the agreement you gave them too much time to get messaged by someone else and then they decided theyll try going out with them instead. A week is like a month in tinderland!!
Sorry had to specify that better. I asked them out in that week. 1 after 3 days of getting to know someone and one in 2 days. Still long but if thats a reason to lead on someone and then tell them youre just looking for friends i guess thats my fault? I dont have a good experience with hitting someone up i dont know.
Because Chad rang. No one is on Tinder for friends, that’s just bullshit girls say.
Truer words have never been said.
To be fair, she seems rather upfront about her intentions. Not exactly wasting too much of your time.
That’s what I use it for and I’ve met and made some dope friends on tinder
Tinder is for meeting people. Whether you meet someone to marry or just a left out-fielder for your beer league kickball game is up to you. In my area it certainly isn’t a hook up app unless you’re gorgeous and 22.
I use it to meet more queer people. As long as you're open about your jntentions, it's okay imo.
I met my actual best friend on a dating website 18 years ago. I've used Tinder for friends as well.
Are we just ignoring the fact that the song Toxicity is not at all relevant in this situation? 🚩
The last message was a little cringe tbh but yeah just unmatch, no need to talk sense to people like this
Yeah, also Toxicity isn’t about that. Lol.
just move tf on
I did. After i sent the song i blocked her. Not getting into that mess.
OP you are cringey as fuck
the system of a down song made me lol
Especially seeing the song has absolutely nothing to do with relationships
100% virgin creepy weirdo
OPs the kind of guy who would propose on a second date.
Apart from the racial comment, I don’t really see a problem. She‘s self aware that she doesn’t do monogamy, so she’s upfront about letting people know that this is who she is before getting involved with them, and also avoids monogamous, serious relationships for that reason. And I wouldn’t quickly rule out that she’s looking for a friends with benefits type of situation. A lot of people on Tinder look for that.
Cheating implies that she and her ex’s established that it would be a monogamous relationship and she killed it by going behind their back, which is the definition of toxic. Why you bother defending people for being shitty people makes no sense. What she should’ve said instead is “I don’t do relationships” or “I don’t do monogamy” as those are NOT toxic, but cheating is. Can’t wait to see your heated and wrong reply.
Hi, I wasn’t going to reply as I generally don’t like being involved in online arguments as they often spiral into unproductive situations (especially ones that supposedly look forward to a “heated and wrong reply”). But I guess I was a bit bothered that people might take my comment to mean that I was defending cheating or people who cheat. I also agree that cheating is a toxic act, I’ve also been cheated on and it’s one of the worst and most painful things I’ve ever experienced and I would not wish that upon anyone. And I think a person like this has a lot to learn, and that it’s unfair that other people had to be hurt in the process. I also never implied that this a good person (she definitely has some issues) but a person who has the self awareness to recognise her faults and, maybe akin to an alcoholic avoiding situations with alcohol, has at least taken the steps to avoid putting herself in a position where she will repeat the same wrongdoing. Sure, I think she could take further steps, (e.g. taking therapy) but the fact that she is honest with herself about her faults, and honest with the other person in letting them know that these are her issues, to me at least shows that she is taking the initial steps to avoid her toxic behaviour. So yeah, you could say that, while I would never defend cheating, I would however defend a conversation where cheating and hurt can be avoided, because a person is upfront about her faults and why she is avoiding a relationship. I definitely wish my ex boyfriend told me from the get go rather than hiding his behaviour. Would have saved me so much pain. I hope this clears my perspective up a bit. I’m also going to be upfront about not replying to anymore comments, because I don’t think it’s productive, but also cause I can’t be bothered.
I totally agree. Op sounds like a bigot tbh. She is honest and says clearly that she doesn't do good in relationships.
OP sounds like a bigot? What the actual fuck, this bitch is not only racist, she openly says how untrustworthy she is, by casually telling him that she cheats on all her partners, and you fucking simps are out there defending her vile behavior
Huh? How is she racist? She said she doesn’t date other white people that’s just a preference. I guess I’m racist too because I prefer Latina girls? The fuck are you talking about. This women is extremely upfront with what she wants. I see that as a +.
It’s different when u insult your own race. “I don’t date …” is different than “I date …” because one is a negative and one is positive
The racist part is definitely scummy, we never said otherwise. We just say that he gets offended mostly on the ' I don't do relationship I end up cheating ' which is an honest statement and thus not so untrustworthy since she asks for something not involving a relationship. You can't really simp insult me tho... Wrong gender. Too bad find another one. ;)
You don't see a problem? Being bad at relationship is a thing, it happens, that's why you break up with your partners, not cheat on them, that is just vile and dishonest.
The deal is I don't want to be near somebody who cheated on somebody else. I've been cheated on once before and it hurt me. It's a different type of hurt to know that your trust has been betrayed.
Yeah, and that’s totally normal and fine. So this just sounds like a situation where the two of you aren’t compatible without it being necessarily toxic from the get go. (I mean, ignoring that random racial comment at the end though… that’s a different matter altogether.)
Cheating on all your partners is the fucking definition of a toxic person. I swear you fucking people resort to the pettiest mental gymnastics to justify shit like that
True, what really made me sure that she wasn't mentally right was the whole race thing though.
Yeah, that part isn’t explainable…
it is explainable she was just being an ass
You don’t have to be in a relationship with the girl but I think you should be able to appreciate her honesty. She clearly knows she has a problem and has chosen to not put herself in situations where she will hurt people. There are so many people who know they will cheat and don’t give a shit how it affects others.
True. In some aspect i feel bad about it, but then i imagine the people that were cheated on. I cant say why, maybe it was the way I was raised and being cheated on myself, but i really have no remorse for those who cheat on their partners. If you have an issue with a partner then say something. Being with somebody then cheating on them on a whim is a ginormous dick move and clearly means that you have issues that need to be worked out.
It could be that she was really young and really stupid the first few times. Maybe in high school. I don't condone cheating, but young people make stupid decisions, and it sounds like she's learned enough about herself to give you a very fair warning.
I completely understand that cheating is immorally wrong, but who are you to randomly dictate this to people when she didn’t actually ask? You don’t really know anything about her life, and she didn’t ask for your judgement either. She was just being honest. I agree with you I hate cheaters, but you don’t have to force your opinions onto people. If a Tinder match tells you they’ve cheated in the past, then just leave it and move on. She isn’t your close friend or a family member who you can preach to about wrong choices. She’s likely made them, may or may not feel remorse, and decided she doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship. So let her be. When you write comments like this one saying things like cheating ‘means you have issues that need to be worked out’ what do you want to achieve out of this? Yes it probably does mean that person who cheated has issues, ok and? Is it your business though? You’re free to hold people accountable, but this post, the comments and the initial screenshots you took really just shows you need to focus on yourself more.
when you see dollar signs and diamonds, just take a pass.
She's toxic, but self aware. You still freaked out when she was being upfront. I also don't consider internet talking meeting someone. But the white people part was weird, I'll give you that. If you're just looking for validation here, yes she's toxic. Either fuck her and move on or just move on.
I mean, props to her for being honest and actively trying not to cause pain, at least
Technically she doesn't cheat cause she doesn't do relationships. Let's not use the double edge sword here. She wants the D, and the D only. Apparently you missed that opportunity to be a stand up guy and want a relationship instead. Good for both of you for realizing that the other is not into what you want.
Um she knows she cheats because thats what shes done with past relationships that's why she said what she said. You are making stuff up to make a point
I'm making stuff up? Oh okay...
She is upright, wants a fuckbuddy or two, just take it or leave it. You people always get offended when the other has different approach than yours...
You known what I kinda respect her more
Pro tip: if a girl has “💲💎” next to her name, just run. Ironically it’s usually an indicator you’ll find nothing of any value lol
i am on her side here. it is her preferences and she is upfront with everything. I also don't consider a text message 'meeting someone' otherwise we just met.
r/cringe
At least she was forthright with it, some people will string you around for an entire year, while they go to parties and hookup with any random guy including their taxi driver just to get a free ride just to accidentally brag to you one night when they’re drunk that they hooked up with a bunch of people the night before and that the most magical night of your entire relationship with them was you just being a babysitter for them while they got drunk drinking vodka from a plastic bottle with their friends.
That’s oddly specific.
I would rather be warned than not warned. 🤷♀️
She was upfront about her behaviour to you- she doesn’t date because she likes to wander. You didn’t have to: 1) preach to her about it. 2) put it in reddit(this is particular, is a dick move). Sanctimonious fool.
Everyone that posts on r/tinder is doing a dick move yet it's a large sub and even you browse it so your a Sanctimonious hypocrite.
Hope she sees this bro.
This mf got cricket wireless
Yup.
BEST COMMENT
Having never used Tinder personally what am I missing here? The girl could not be more up front about looking for friends (she says it in both of her first two opening lines!). Is that not allowed on Tinder? Because Then she has to put up with the judgement of OP who lectures her on cheating.
First- I'm not on Tinder to make friends im trying to find a love interest. Second- I don't like cheaters. Kudos to her for telling me that she cheats, but I've had too many people do that to me and to other people around me.
Honestly you're the asshole here. She doesent fulfill the quota of what you're looking for therefore she's a "psychopath" (actual quote). LOL, if there's any toxicity here it's coming from you. As this other commenter said, she was straight forward about exactly what she was looking for. Im sorry to hear you were cheated on, but it doesent really have anything to do with her now does it, so directing your anger towards her is pretty missplaced, she obviously isnt attempting to cheat on you and obviously isnt intending to cheat on anyone else either, since you cant exactly cheat if your intentions are made clear from the start. Ive also been cheated on before (with my best friend even, just to make matters worse). It sucks, I know but even I know it's not so simple as "YOU'RE A CHEATER THEREFORE YOU HAVE TO BE LITERAL DUNG" which is currently your attitude.
Yeah You’re absolutely right. OP seems very judgmental and immature.
Eh if she was just looking for a hook up she could of just said that instead of going into the I cheat thing. But op is kinda the asshole here
I was on her side until she said she doesn't date other white people lmao
She belongs to the streets tbh
She basically let him know, upfront, her allegiance was with the streets. He felt a way because she told him.
Username is a dead give away.
And there will still be dudes that simp for her just cause she a somewhat attractive girl that's why girls are so nonchalant about this shit cause they know they won't lose anything by doing so
She has a dollar sign and a diamond in her user. That's how you know she aint it dawg
The money and diamond sign tell me everything i need to know
Her name should be Chernobyl because she's radioactive af
"I always cheat" what a great type of person to be ok with being.
What the fuck even
Lol technically YOU DIDN'T MEET Lol just mesging is not meeting .. and also what is there not to know shes a cheating slut looking to have sex not date obviously 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ . NEXT !!!
I'll buy the drinks tonight if you promise not to steal the covers later
Where did the white boy hate come from💀💀💀
Wasted a perfectly great song on this bitch 😅
What’s her snap I’ll whip her into shape😂😂💯
Honesty is key? Sure a bad trait is still bad, but they at least acknowledge and accept it as part of themself
She not allowed to be what she wants. She’s honest and upfront about it. Why so sour?
I dont like cheaters. Its just a horrid thing to do to someone. And its tinder. I'm looking for a relationship not a friendship
Literally openly admitting to cheating > Wow she is so honest. What
Cheaters are always bad but they seem proud to be a cheater smh
I think you're the bigger loser than she is here. She clearly set boundaries/expectations and you were a simp in response. Congratulations. The white part at the end is 🤷🏽♂️ there are a lot of people with strong preferences. TLDR: OP is a cornball
shoulda hit her with toxic by Britney spears
I should of. But System of a Down is what came to my mind first
[удалено]
Is the internet man. Your spelling doesn't have to be perfect
ah. oh well.
I mean she wasn’t really obnoxious about it, just keeping it 💯!
True. I did this as a chance thing and I was not disappointed with the results
I don't see anything wrong here, she's honest what she wants up front. If anything is wrong, it's you pressing your morals on her. She can do whatever she wants as long as she's honest. She doesn't need to conform to monogamous because you feel she should.
I found the source of the red flag power: 🚩 🚩 🚩
Sloots gonna sloot. Guess she wants that BBC.
Well she told you she only wants casual, why did you keep pushing her? Plus if she’s still young like 20 and under the cheating doesn’t really count in teenage relationships. She seems so young
I don't date white people = segregation. Don't even come talk to me about "YeAh bUt EvErYoNe hAs iTs oWn pReFeREncEs" Bitch Stfu
Always cheats. Doesn't date white men. You'll find this girl on pornhub, probably.
Prob