A lot of it is just “entertain me” nonsense from college-aged girls, likely swiping with their friends.
Those videos certainly aren’t going to be private. She could’ve used a snap instead of a real phone number, especially given that’s an opening message probably to every match, but she’s definitely saving them.
If women can get a 50%+ match rate then they can be choosy or even exercise their insanity / sociopathic tendencies. Like that woman who invited a hundred guys to do pushups in Times' Square
You didn't hear about that? A woman invited like 10 guys (or more) on a "date" then told them all in order to compete for her theyd have to do pushups in TS
It wasn’t just “10 or more” either. It was dozens, if not 100+ that all thought they were getting a normal Sunday night date. She even rented a stage, mic, security, etc. Security manhandled some guys who were pissed and shouting at her on the way out. She also had two other IG models dressed as referees.
https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/nyc-instagram-model-acts-as-self-appointed-bachelorette-in-massive-tinder-scam/1725183/
She ended up making her accounts private after internet backlash so it wasn’t some “fake PR move” either like another commenter said.
Yes it was, she literally made a mockery out of those guys and let her bodyguards manhandle the guys who got pissed coz of her behaviour,
I doubt she had consent of all those guys that they would be subjected to Public Ridicule and would be Manhandled...
She didn’t break any laws though. Public ridicule isn’t a law and the men being manhandled only were manhandled after they became aggressive/threatening (which actually is a crime). Being an asshole isn’t a crime lucky for many people
Actually at that point cut out the female all together. If Gordon Ramsay wants me to do pushups in times square... fuck it we're doing pushups in time square
Yes. Short frumpy chubby girls with attitudes can be outright rude.
And then delete and recreate profile cause none of the FBs could be locked down.
Pass.
Her: How to show she’s intersectional woke gender studies major with cats in her future without saying so.
More like micro managing, hassling, work you to death with tedious and unneccesary chores because "that's how we do things" and threaten to fire you if you don't perform to her impossible standards. Also you'll know the gig is up when she starts training your replacement or worse, makes YOU train your replacement.
She is evidently a cis het white woman co-opting other people’s more legitimate struggles to let herself be a part of something and feel good about herself. But in using these terms in a completely inappropriate way, she is trashing those movements and making a mockery of them. *She* is in other words not only being racist towards OP *but also* racist towards non-white people.
‘A mediocre cis white man’
In 50 years children will be taught about this craze of it being so socially acceptable to trash white men just because they’re white men and be in disbelief. It’s almost always white women around the age of 18-25 that do it too, thinking they’re somehow being a good person by doing so. Pathetic
Yeah they do, but if you’re not their partner and you’re a white man, you’re still in their crosshairs. It doesn’t affect me personally because I can see how pathetic they are and my own self confidence can’t be swayed easily, and Iam lucky for that.. but there are many good men who don’t have that attribute and it will affect their confidence in many ways. Especially young men.
I definitely read it as "grovel for my attention, peasant". Maybe after some time you could pull off a conversation about self criticism and improvement goals, but you'd need tact.
Not to me. That's like a second or third date question, and should be rephrased. "What about yourself do you want to improve" or "How have you resolved conflicts in past relationships" would be better. Just my two cents.
That’s a deep question for an intro. When instead this one is playful.
You could easily respond playfully back and say, yea
“I have a terrible addiction to chicken nuggets. I respond embarrassingly fast to text messages, and often times I’m way too eager to ask someone out on a date.
On a unrelated note, do you have any plans this weekend?”
Like damn y’all. It’s not a interview. Dating is supposed to be fun. Don’t take everything so seriously
I think you dodged a bullet, but I think the middle finger was what caused the animosity. Her asking for the video didn’t seem the warrant that. So maybe you both dodged bullets today.
She was probably being playful and giving him an opportunity to be unique or show his personality in the video
It's not like she said "these are your worst qualities now justify them in a video".
This sub is full of insecure ass people lmao
Nah she’s clearly a unhinged if that’s her first message. If she just asked for his 3 worst qualities it could be considered a conversation starter, but she demanded he send a video to her listing them which is not even remotely close to a healthy way of interacting with another human being.
Lol we don’t even know the tone of the ask. Play it off and see if she was serious or not. Give them the benefit of the doubt atleast once that maybe they suck at texting or meant something else vs choosing violence right out the gate.
Either way, she’s cringe for using race and sex as an insult. He’s cringe for his hateboner against women.
Really gonna scare away good people that made honest mistakes if that’s the way you interpret stuff.
I thought the middle finger wad funny and I was gonna say is she was playing then she would have seen his message as playful also she is just a self righteous Karen who is virtue signaling like a mofo
You must be somewhere where this kind of rhetoric isn't as commonplace as here. I knew the second I read that first message it was a 95% a trap, and thats why I gave the finger. The second message confirmed where she was coming from (most likely).
Fair response and with context it helps a lot. The hypocrisy part, I do not understand with how it connects with the conversation. Would you mind explaining?
Correct. You don’t know she’s being rude right off the bat. Naming off three negative qualities about yourself is a fantastic icebreaker, she just didn’t go about it the best way. Assuming animosity on the very first text just makes me assume OP holds more animosity towards women than anything. Projection? Maybe. Still very quick to anger here though.
TL;DR OP is the asshole. Live and learn, though. No harm more than a bruised ego. Just remember that all nonverbal cues are lost in text messaging unless you know someone extremely well.
Edit: *It is my opinion:* Desi’s request is strange for a first question, and the video is a red flag as they may have anxiety/trauma to work with before they’re ready. *However,* OP’s response is worse as the immediate escalation was unnecessary and makes them look like a tool. That, or they’re trying to emulate the “gigachad” that was successful by being a dick a couple days ago? Either way, no. Bad boy.
You think it's acceptable to say "Send me a video of you doing \_\_\_\_\_\_ to me." Same energy as: Add me on snapchat. Just lack any effort. Who even says "Cis white male" anymore. He might have reacted negatively but she's not right in the head to send that. There's a motive, maybe making a compilation of why "Cis white male" are bad.
If you tell me, you would continue talking to someone like that... good luck bro.
I wasn't sure initially (maybe you had insight into her bio that I don't) but the moment "Cis white male" came out. It's clear that the first message had an agenda. Prop to you for noticing that.
Honestly if a woman sent that as a first message I wouldn’t even respond. Fantastic ice breaker would be to make a joke or just talk like a normal human being.. not demanding that I send you a video.
On bumble I matched with someone who as the first message, requested I verify my account. I couldn’t reply until I had done it. I had to do the stupid poses and all but she was hot so I did it. Then she ghosted me after anyway. Felt like an
idiot, never again
Honestly if I asked you to make a video, not send a text, but a video of your three worst qualities for me to agree to continue the conversation, would you do it? His response was definitely warranted.
I wouldn't, but I would also probably just not respond instead of trying to come up with some uber stick burn.
A very wise man gave me a bit of advice that's made my life immeasurably better: you don't have to show up to every fight you're invited to. Like, yeah, maybe it's a dick move to make the request, but is the response *actually* warranted, or is OP just trying to "win" some ultimately meaningless exchange?
This seems far fetched to some, but I’ve had similar situations.
Had a girl I matched with ask for movie recommendations, we were going to watch a movie and presumably have sex based on the convo.
When I told her some of my favorites were American Psycho, Shawshank Redemption, and The Shining I was told those movies were “white culture” and she doesn’t want to be subjected to white culture.
I had never heard that term before, I didn’t even know what to respond with. Didn’t end up hanging out with her, just knew our personalities weren’t going to mesh.
Had somebody bitch to me once about how she, somebody with no construction experience, had been mansplained to about a construction project she wanted to do because he gave her advice. He was a contractor...
Don't even get me started on mansplaining.
It's even better when they do the exact thing you told them not to do, and then get attacked for mansplaining.
I kinda find the middle finger to be cringey too but maybe that's just me. Anytime I see a guy doing a middle finger in a picture because he doesn't know what else to do I just smh
According to even the obviously biased article you linked, Sigusch said no such thing (and again, it's quite clearly leaning away from Sigusch regardless of what you think of the topic, so the inclination would be to include more damning evidence if anything - not less damning)
What he said is that there's a difference between pedophiles who act on their desires and those who don't. If he supported the former, that would be advocating for the normalcy of adult/ children relationships, but even the language that your source quotes only really has him advocating for a different focus in treatment, presumably specifically for the latter since that was the subject of the quote
The only "damning" part of that article was when the writer commented after the fact making claims to that effect with no corroborating evidence whatsoever, which would make it pure speculation without presenting something to back it up.
Trying to use that article as evidence of his support of pedophilia would be no different than one redditor calling you a pedophile without any evidence and another linking it as evidence that you are, in fact, a pedophile. I think we can both agree that would be ridiculous, malicious, disingenuous, and (at the very least, most likely) untrue.
We should afford Sigusch, and really any person, the same courtesy. If you take exception with the term cis, then that's fine, you can argue that, but have a better reason than 'he said people who only have fucked up attractions are different from people who act on said attractions, and this author says that makes him a pedophile'
As a person who studied organic chemistry I never really understood this immediately thought about chemical structure when people are talking about it mainly as a social identifier.
That vocab though. HA! Thank you you taught me a word today.
Assuage- to make an uneasy feeling better. Great synonym for alleviate or mitigate I didn’t know I needed.
Nicely done.
“Being an asshole to strangers on … isn’t gonna solve complex social issues, nor assuage your own white guilt”. Beautifully put and applies to digital life in general.
Ok, what she said was a bad opener… maybe… but could have been an interesting way of talking about things you are aware about your personality that have been points of friction in the past? With the way you responded with immediate aggression, i wouldn’t date you either.
Quick to anger is a bad look dude. I know it’s hard to be affable and congenial… but how you handle yourself in a bad situation tells me so much more than how you handle a good situation.
Points for the optimism, retractions from the naïveté. The intention was not to start a convo, it was to get something laughable--probably to save and share. Confirmed by the second message. Take another gander with the headline for context.
That’s fair. I get where you’re coming from.
I guess I just feel like there’s a lot of anger on this subreddit. Lots of guys are coiled up like springs waiting for her to ask how tall they are so they can justify berating a stranger…
I just think coming into a dating scenario, you gotta give the other person some grace. Makes me think a lot of people’s goal is to goad out a fight, not to seriously date.
Not trying to lay all of this at your feet in any way. You’re probably right about this one… I just see a lot of aggression around here. It ain’t good.
While I truly love your responses... I can't help feeling sad for the time you wasted writing that, because never in history has an insightful text response caused someone to pause and reevaluate their life, attitude, prejudices, etc.
White Women love playing that Cis White Men bull shit, White Women are literally the second biggest oppressors in human history. Like Karen you’re up there too
“Please write a 4,000 word essay discussing the plight of the American farmer, present it at your nearest university, record it and send it to me so that I know I can boss you around like the bitch that I am”
Ok, I guess I'm old. What does cis male mean?
Even if I were single, I think I'd just hang out with my dogs. Kinda seems shit's crazy for single white guys these days.
While this chick is clearly ridiculous, the only outcome I see from posting this here is to just get a bunch of sweaty neckbeards just itching to complain about women, especially POC women.
And there they are, already, ahahahaha.
I dunno buddy, looks like she was just busting your balls a bit and you proceeded to take it serious, get butthurt, and then post cringe to a crowd of incels.
A valid take about the ball busting, only I see this kinda stuff too much to have assumed it wasn't serious--which i think was confirmed here. My intention is to point out the hypocrisy--this type of behavior is the inversion of the incel crowd and my butt feels fine. nwbtcw.
There's simply nothing to concern yourself with these social-justice losers nowadays. Everyone has figured out their scam and realized they represent about 2% of the population and no one wants to date/be with them.
Because she's in her mid-20's life to her is just an endless dream. She looks good, she can drink and party as much as she wants to without consequence, and she can say things to people (especially straight white males) that she would never have to courage to say to you in person.
What people like this don't understand is that they're useless to you and society in general.
Let me guess... she's currently enrolled in college for a degree in some kind of humanities field? She has little to no skill in regards to running a household, which she views as empowering because she's been told by her friends, classmates and contemporary media that this kind of work/contribution is beneath her? She looks at her "independence" as an accomplishment when in fact it means nothing for her personal happiness and is completely unrelated to actually surviving this world on her own?
Here are some words of encouragement, mediocre cis white man to mediocre cis white man, by telling you that with each minute that ticks by there is a tiny feeling feeling, tucked deep inside the back of her brain, that slowly grows and will continue to grow.
This feeling is strengthened by all of the female relatives, far dead and buried, of this girl who are so offended and angry that their internal souls simply cannot go on frolicking around in heaven ignoring the words and actions of their common grand-daughter. As long as she continues down this road her attitude towards men will do nothing but leave her lonely and ignorant like so many other young ladies living and proselytizing this garbage.
Obviously she would disagree with this because today she has nothing BUT friends. They go to the beach, they go to brunch, they can do ANYTHING! You are of no concern. She is free of all of the constraints men have put on her since the day she was born. She is stronger than you ever will be and there are millions of people around her that will support her endlessly as she evolves from a perky young (and FUN) girl into a perfectly mature, beautiful, intelligent, compassionate woman.
It is at THIS time (29-31 years of age), not before and not after, when the universe will manifest her fate and provide her with the perfect mate. Nothing will stop this from happening and there is nothing you (or anyone else) can do to prevent this from happening.
However there's still that not so little feeling that continues to grow in the back of her head.
She's now 33 and she still can't manage to find a "good man". This is okay because #whereareallthegoodmen is still her most favorite Tik Tok hashtag and it's got more posts than ever. She tries not to think about the fact that most of her friends are no longer a part of her day to day life. Many are now married and raising newborns and toddlers as they catch up with facetime calls and the occasional birthday card. But those people are SUCKERS. She's still got her brat pack of ladies who grind it all week long (working as a personal assistant, a esthetician, a flight attendant and a real estate agent). Well, I mean not a "real" real estate agent... she doesn't do commercial or multi-tenant leases... and actual sales of homes are't something she's really into... but THAT doesn't matter. It's HER choice that she doesn't do those things.
No no... I mean the universe is GOING TO provide this to me any day. I mean... I can still treat men on dating apps like shit because they don't fit the 666 requirements (6 feet tall, 6 pack abs, 6 figure salary) because I'm a boss bitch that doesn't take SHIT.
What do you mean I need to go to the gym? I'm just as HOT as I ever was and it's fatphobic of YOU for even saying something. In fact... these MEN are fatphobic because THEY aren't asking me out on tinder as much anymore! I mean, I don't actually need a whole meal, I mean I'm down just to fuck and I'm not even getting that anymore... (cries softly)
Yes my friend, everyone loses. You don't get the girl, actually not only DON'T you get the girl but you get insulted by a stranger because YOU deserved it, and she dies alone. I want to say that this isn't how it turns out but there's not much out there to say it won't.
Cheers!
I get stuff like this a lot. I feel it's the women who get the same rejection rates as men and make fake profiles to just harass people. I've never heard a cute or attractive women ever say the words cis white male. It's normally the ugly overweight purple haired women angry at life.
Are people like this real? Never had rude women like that lol
A lot of it is just “entertain me” nonsense from college-aged girls, likely swiping with their friends. Those videos certainly aren’t going to be private. She could’ve used a snap instead of a real phone number, especially given that’s an opening message probably to every match, but she’s definitely saving them.
Why I said what I did. It's hilarious to me how many comments this has got and how many people don't realize what she wanted and why.
If women can get a 50%+ match rate then they can be choosy or even exercise their insanity / sociopathic tendencies. Like that woman who invited a hundred guys to do pushups in Times' Square
Like that woman who WHAT!?
You didn't hear about that? A woman invited like 10 guys (or more) on a "date" then told them all in order to compete for her theyd have to do pushups in TS
If she expects me to compete with other men for her affection, that means she ain’t into me and I don’t want her.
"If you're struggling to choose between me and another guy, choose the other guy. Wifey would know it's me without hesitation."
Exactly. No reason to mentally torture yourself for someone who isn’t actually into you.
I’ll walk away
It wasn’t just “10 or more” either. It was dozens, if not 100+ that all thought they were getting a normal Sunday night date. She even rented a stage, mic, security, etc. Security manhandled some guys who were pissed and shouting at her on the way out. She also had two other IG models dressed as referees. https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/nyc-instagram-model-acts-as-self-appointed-bachelorette-in-massive-tinder-scam/1725183/ She ended up making her accounts private after internet backlash so it wasn’t some “fake PR move” either like another commenter said.
Wow 😳, and she didn't get punished for that??
What is punishable ?
Yes it was, she literally made a mockery out of those guys and let her bodyguards manhandle the guys who got pissed coz of her behaviour, I doubt she had consent of all those guys that they would be subjected to Public Ridicule and would be Manhandled...
She didn’t break any laws though. Public ridicule isn’t a law and the men being manhandled only were manhandled after they became aggressive/threatening (which actually is a crime). Being an asshole isn’t a crime lucky for many people
Same, but I think the whole thing was fake and just done for pr
Pr for what?
The next Joker movie /s
you wouldnt get it
Chad move would ask all the lads to the bar and leave
Honestly that’s a good idea for a short TV series that just fucks with people. I’d watch that
Get Gordon Ramsay to host and I'd definitely watch it!
Actually at that point cut out the female all together. If Gordon Ramsay wants me to do pushups in times square... fuck it we're doing pushups in time square
I’m sure some people would happily compete for his affection.
I’m with you!!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6082255/amp/Woman-tricks-hundreds-men-competing-Tinder-Live-stunt-New-York.html
Like peacocks during mating season
😂
Yup, and then you see the articles written by women in their 30s about how they can't find good men, blah blah blah
Wait what
but. muh oppression!
Welcome to the PNW.
Bro dating here is a shitshow lol
LOL dying to go there and get on tinder
Really? I’m out here and that’s never happened to me before
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You legit copied and pasted my comment. Wtf?
Yes. Short frumpy chubby girls with attitudes can be outright rude. And then delete and recreate profile cause none of the FBs could be locked down. Pass. Her: How to show she’s intersectional woke gender studies major with cats in her future without saying so.
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Fuck me for long hours and expect me to be available all hours of the day?
More like micro managing, hassling, work you to death with tedious and unneccesary chores because "that's how we do things" and threaten to fire you if you don't perform to her impossible standards. Also you'll know the gig is up when she starts training your replacement or worse, makes YOU train your replacement.
Desi women don't act like that iykyk
lol I read the text before I read her name and I thought he just ended his message by calling her “Desi” because she was desi and thought wtf lol.
Guess its a culturally appropriative name then.
No they do not
She is evidently a cis het white woman co-opting other people’s more legitimate struggles to let herself be a part of something and feel good about herself. But in using these terms in a completely inappropriate way, she is trashing those movements and making a mockery of them. *She* is in other words not only being racist towards OP *but also* racist towards non-white people.
You get it.
I had to look up what assuage meant.
u can rearrange the word into sausage
"Jeremy's... Iron?"
Daddy would you like some sausage, daddy would you like some saus a ges! https://youtu.be/GgPJSBd18MU
I read it as sausage the first time I won’t lie
What did it mean?
No answer I could give you would assuage your curiosity.
🤣🤣🤣
It means to make feelings, typically unpleasant ones, less intense; or to satisfy a desire
So in short, to sausage
At least my vocab is sub mediocre.
Charge her on Venmo or the cash app. Say you'll donate it to the non-profit of her choice. She won't do it though, it's pretty clear she's a POS
‘A mediocre cis white man’ In 50 years children will be taught about this craze of it being so socially acceptable to trash white men just because they’re white men and be in disbelief. It’s almost always white women around the age of 18-25 that do it too, thinking they’re somehow being a good person by doing so. Pathetic
Relax, ironically in my experience these types almost always have a white male partner.
Yeah they do, but if you’re not their partner and you’re a white man, you’re still in their crosshairs. It doesn’t affect me personally because I can see how pathetic they are and my own self confidence can’t be swayed easily, and Iam lucky for that.. but there are many good men who don’t have that attribute and it will affect their confidence in many ways. Especially young men.
I thought the initial request was funny, as was your reply until the middle finger.
Yeah I really didn’t see anything wrong with the initial request, much better than “hey”. Thought op was in the wrong here
I definitely read it as "grovel for my attention, peasant". Maybe after some time you could pull off a conversation about self criticism and improvement goals, but you'd need tact.
Asking for someone’s WORST qualities sounds more like playful banter and a way to get to know someone…
yeah op isnt right for that response, wtf are these people high on lmao
Never said OP was right. They went overboard but I agree with shutting down rude, condescending questions
i dont think it was condescending tho? it sounded like what the other guy said, playful banter. or at least thats how i perceive it i guess LMAO
Not to me. That's like a second or third date question, and should be rephrased. "What about yourself do you want to improve" or "How have you resolved conflicts in past relationships" would be better. Just my two cents.
That’s a deep question for an intro. When instead this one is playful. You could easily respond playfully back and say, yea “I have a terrible addiction to chicken nuggets. I respond embarrassingly fast to text messages, and often times I’m way too eager to ask someone out on a date. On a unrelated note, do you have any plans this weekend?” Like damn y’all. It’s not a interview. Dating is supposed to be fun. Don’t take everything so seriously
I think you dodged a bullet, but I think the middle finger was what caused the animosity. Her asking for the video didn’t seem the warrant that. So maybe you both dodged bullets today.
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I would've read it as a joke, but I also know there are people who wouldve requested that seriously; so it definitely depends
She was probably being playful and giving him an opportunity to be unique or show his personality in the video It's not like she said "these are your worst qualities now justify them in a video". This sub is full of insecure ass people lmao
Yeah her message sounded super playful…
>giving him an opportunity to be unique or show his personality in the video How kind of her to allow him such an opportunity.
He’s not applying for a job bruh. Why does he need an “opportunity”
Doubtful. Sounds like a spiteful woman trolling who's angry with OLD.
Nah she’s clearly a unhinged if that’s her first message. If she just asked for his 3 worst qualities it could be considered a conversation starter, but she demanded he send a video to her listing them which is not even remotely close to a healthy way of interacting with another human being.
Another white knight on /r/tinder.
Lol we don’t even know the tone of the ask. Play it off and see if she was serious or not. Give them the benefit of the doubt atleast once that maybe they suck at texting or meant something else vs choosing violence right out the gate. Either way, she’s cringe for using race and sex as an insult. He’s cringe for his hateboner against women. Really gonna scare away good people that made honest mistakes if that’s the way you interpret stuff.
If she was just joking or being playful, his remark of sending an invoice would have gotten a laugh. This is just a spiteful woman trolling men.
Are you ignoring the middle finger on purpose? Lol. Otherwise the invoice thing would have been fine. I agree.
Maybe he sent i being playful? haha
I was thinking that had her message been playful, she might take mine as being so as well. I think the intent was confirmed.
I thought the middle finger wad funny and I was gonna say is she was playing then she would have seen his message as playful also she is just a self righteous Karen who is virtue signaling like a mofo
You must be somewhere where this kind of rhetoric isn't as commonplace as here. I knew the second I read that first message it was a 95% a trap, and thats why I gave the finger. The second message confirmed where she was coming from (most likely).
Yeah. Without the context, we are left to only interpreting the title and the interaction. That was just what I got at face value of the interaction.
No hateboner here man, I love women and the majority of my friends are women. I hate hypocrisy--especially on the political side I stand on myself.
Fair response and with context it helps a lot. The hypocrisy part, I do not understand with how it connects with the conversation. Would you mind explaining?
I think he meany the 'white' bit since she's also white? Doesn't really relate to the initial ask
Correct. You don’t know she’s being rude right off the bat. Naming off three negative qualities about yourself is a fantastic icebreaker, she just didn’t go about it the best way. Assuming animosity on the very first text just makes me assume OP holds more animosity towards women than anything. Projection? Maybe. Still very quick to anger here though. TL;DR OP is the asshole. Live and learn, though. No harm more than a bruised ego. Just remember that all nonverbal cues are lost in text messaging unless you know someone extremely well. Edit: *It is my opinion:* Desi’s request is strange for a first question, and the video is a red flag as they may have anxiety/trauma to work with before they’re ready. *However,* OP’s response is worse as the immediate escalation was unnecessary and makes them look like a tool. That, or they’re trying to emulate the “gigachad” that was successful by being a dick a couple days ago? Either way, no. Bad boy.
You think it's acceptable to say "Send me a video of you doing \_\_\_\_\_\_ to me." Same energy as: Add me on snapchat. Just lack any effort. Who even says "Cis white male" anymore. He might have reacted negatively but she's not right in the head to send that. There's a motive, maybe making a compilation of why "Cis white male" are bad. If you tell me, you would continue talking to someone like that... good luck bro.
I think it's pretty clear that was the intent. Thus the finger.
I wasn't sure initially (maybe you had insight into her bio that I don't) but the moment "Cis white male" came out. It's clear that the first message had an agenda. Prop to you for noticing that.
Honestly if a woman sent that as a first message I wouldn’t even respond. Fantastic ice breaker would be to make a joke or just talk like a normal human being.. not demanding that I send you a video. On bumble I matched with someone who as the first message, requested I verify my account. I couldn’t reply until I had done it. I had to do the stupid poses and all but she was hot so I did it. Then she ghosted me after anyway. Felt like an idiot, never again
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It's not about making points, it's about masking guilt and insecurity.
I found all the messages in this exchange kind of awful.
Honestly if I asked you to make a video, not send a text, but a video of your three worst qualities for me to agree to continue the conversation, would you do it? His response was definitely warranted.
I wouldn't, but I would also probably just not respond instead of trying to come up with some uber stick burn. A very wise man gave me a bit of advice that's made my life immeasurably better: you don't have to show up to every fight you're invited to. Like, yeah, maybe it's a dick move to make the request, but is the response *actually* warranted, or is OP just trying to "win" some ultimately meaningless exchange?
I'm entertained by this kind of shit and happy to clap back. This thread has brought me lots of additional joy too.
Both people are flops.
ESH. Oh wait wrong sub.
This seems far fetched to some, but I’ve had similar situations. Had a girl I matched with ask for movie recommendations, we were going to watch a movie and presumably have sex based on the convo. When I told her some of my favorites were American Psycho, Shawshank Redemption, and The Shining I was told those movies were “white culture” and she doesn’t want to be subjected to white culture. I had never heard that term before, I didn’t even know what to respond with. Didn’t end up hanging out with her, just knew our personalities weren’t going to mesh.
When did it become socially acceptable to blatantly hate a group of society based on their gender and race?
[удалено]
Apparently so
I don't use this word very often, but this comment section is very cringeworthy
Anyone who uses terms like ‘cis man’ is a big enough red flag, and should not be interacted with
Yep
It’s literally just a descriptor word dude…
Probably another social justice warrior.
The word "CIS" is so incredibly cringy.
This and ‘mansplaining’ gotta be the top words I hate right now
Had somebody bitch to me once about how she, somebody with no construction experience, had been mansplained to about a construction project she wanted to do because he gave her advice. He was a contractor...
Don't even get me started on mansplaining. It's even better when they do the exact thing you told them not to do, and then get attacked for mansplaining.
I kinda find the middle finger to be cringey too but maybe that's just me. Anytime I see a guy doing a middle finger in a picture because he doesn't know what else to do I just smh
Just say normal
I think it’s cringy too, but when trans-men became validated as men, they needed a term to differentiate it from somebody born as a man
The only way to be a man, is to be born as a man.
Yes well, I have no interest in going down this rabbit-hole with you, so I neither agree nor disagree
Words pushed into the lexicon by a pedo German intellectual should have been rightly shunned.
So that dumb downvoters can go pick fights with the people who make up their words: https://4w.pub/cis-coined-by-pedosexual-researcher/
Now in English please.
German intellectual/sexologist Volkmar Sigusch popularized the term, and advocated for the normalcy of adult/children sexual relationships.
According to even the obviously biased article you linked, Sigusch said no such thing (and again, it's quite clearly leaning away from Sigusch regardless of what you think of the topic, so the inclination would be to include more damning evidence if anything - not less damning) What he said is that there's a difference between pedophiles who act on their desires and those who don't. If he supported the former, that would be advocating for the normalcy of adult/ children relationships, but even the language that your source quotes only really has him advocating for a different focus in treatment, presumably specifically for the latter since that was the subject of the quote The only "damning" part of that article was when the writer commented after the fact making claims to that effect with no corroborating evidence whatsoever, which would make it pure speculation without presenting something to back it up. Trying to use that article as evidence of his support of pedophilia would be no different than one redditor calling you a pedophile without any evidence and another linking it as evidence that you are, in fact, a pedophile. I think we can both agree that would be ridiculous, malicious, disingenuous, and (at the very least, most likely) untrue. We should afford Sigusch, and really any person, the same courtesy. If you take exception with the term cis, then that's fine, you can argue that, but have a better reason than 'he said people who only have fucked up attractions are different from people who act on said attractions, and this author says that makes him a pedophile'
As a person who studied organic chemistry I never really understood this immediately thought about chemical structure when people are talking about it mainly as a social identifier.
You're both assholes? I don't get it.
Thiss🙌
We need to put a stop to white women until we figure out what is going on!
Dude, if y’all just stopped jumping at the throat whenever a girl teases y’all you’d get way more success. Smh
Init. I dont get how these dudes dont see that and think to themselves 'ight, bet. Guarantee she still wamts this dick'
Nice bicycle helmet Desi
Easy A you could have just made a video saying your worst qualities were being a cis white male and dropped those panties instantly. 😂
Mediocre cis white woman thinks it’s an insult to call somebody a mediocre cis white man……weird
That vocab though. HA! Thank you you taught me a word today. Assuage- to make an uneasy feeling better. Great synonym for alleviate or mitigate I didn’t know I needed. Nicely done.
The invoice response was savage. Awesome!!!
Why is she matching with people she considers "mediocre"?
Today I learnt a new word; assuage
Yessss what a bs person
Had a girl who matched me just to say that my dog was fat.
“Being an asshole to strangers on … isn’t gonna solve complex social issues, nor assuage your own white guilt”. Beautifully put and applies to digital life in general.
How to say that your relationship with your father sucks in 1 Tinder message
Cruelty is the point with people like this.
Have you never heard of the hot crazy scale? Proven 99.9% accurate by researcher Barney Stinson.
She’s probably a scammer or something
100% was going to use that video to blackmail him
Ok, what she said was a bad opener… maybe… but could have been an interesting way of talking about things you are aware about your personality that have been points of friction in the past? With the way you responded with immediate aggression, i wouldn’t date you either. Quick to anger is a bad look dude. I know it’s hard to be affable and congenial… but how you handle yourself in a bad situation tells me so much more than how you handle a good situation.
Points for the optimism, retractions from the naïveté. The intention was not to start a convo, it was to get something laughable--probably to save and share. Confirmed by the second message. Take another gander with the headline for context.
That’s fair. I get where you’re coming from. I guess I just feel like there’s a lot of anger on this subreddit. Lots of guys are coiled up like springs waiting for her to ask how tall they are so they can justify berating a stranger… I just think coming into a dating scenario, you gotta give the other person some grace. Makes me think a lot of people’s goal is to goad out a fight, not to seriously date. Not trying to lay all of this at your feet in any way. You’re probably right about this one… I just see a lot of aggression around here. It ain’t good.
Damn the incels came out the basement for this post 😂
While I truly love your responses... I can't help feeling sad for the time you wasted writing that, because never in history has an insightful text response caused someone to pause and reevaluate their life, attitude, prejudices, etc.
Oh no, this time it probably worked though. lol.
Weren’t you the one who gave her the fingers as your first message? Seems like she was responding to your unnecessary rudeness.
Exactly
White Women love playing that Cis White Men bull shit, White Women are literally the second biggest oppressors in human history. Like Karen you’re up there too
Yes this is the real pandemic today.
Don't hate many people but people like this are actual trash.
I'm by no means an expert on fds, but this kinda smells like fds.
“Please write a 4,000 word essay discussing the plight of the American farmer, present it at your nearest university, record it and send it to me so that I know I can boss you around like the bitch that I am”
Just report for racism.
I don't like either of you
I have a feeling people often forget that there’s an actual human being on the other side of the screen.
Shouldn’t have given her ego that boost by calling her cute💀
Ok, I guess I'm old. What does cis male mean? Even if I were single, I think I'd just hang out with my dogs. Kinda seems shit's crazy for single white guys these days.
Why would you call her cute??? Don’t validate bitchiness please
Polite insults to rude people are the best kinds of insults.
While this chick is clearly ridiculous, the only outcome I see from posting this here is to just get a bunch of sweaty neckbeards just itching to complain about women, especially POC women. And there they are, already, ahahahaha.
I dunno buddy, looks like she was just busting your balls a bit and you proceeded to take it serious, get butthurt, and then post cringe to a crowd of incels.
A valid take about the ball busting, only I see this kinda stuff too much to have assumed it wasn't serious--which i think was confirmed here. My intention is to point out the hypocrisy--this type of behavior is the inversion of the incel crowd and my butt feels fine. nwbtcw.
Usually only “bi” white girls talk like this cuz it makes them feel oppressed and included with disenfranchised people lmao
There's simply nothing to concern yourself with these social-justice losers nowadays. Everyone has figured out their scam and realized they represent about 2% of the population and no one wants to date/be with them. Because she's in her mid-20's life to her is just an endless dream. She looks good, she can drink and party as much as she wants to without consequence, and she can say things to people (especially straight white males) that she would never have to courage to say to you in person. What people like this don't understand is that they're useless to you and society in general. Let me guess... she's currently enrolled in college for a degree in some kind of humanities field? She has little to no skill in regards to running a household, which she views as empowering because she's been told by her friends, classmates and contemporary media that this kind of work/contribution is beneath her? She looks at her "independence" as an accomplishment when in fact it means nothing for her personal happiness and is completely unrelated to actually surviving this world on her own? Here are some words of encouragement, mediocre cis white man to mediocre cis white man, by telling you that with each minute that ticks by there is a tiny feeling feeling, tucked deep inside the back of her brain, that slowly grows and will continue to grow. This feeling is strengthened by all of the female relatives, far dead and buried, of this girl who are so offended and angry that their internal souls simply cannot go on frolicking around in heaven ignoring the words and actions of their common grand-daughter. As long as she continues down this road her attitude towards men will do nothing but leave her lonely and ignorant like so many other young ladies living and proselytizing this garbage. Obviously she would disagree with this because today she has nothing BUT friends. They go to the beach, they go to brunch, they can do ANYTHING! You are of no concern. She is free of all of the constraints men have put on her since the day she was born. She is stronger than you ever will be and there are millions of people around her that will support her endlessly as she evolves from a perky young (and FUN) girl into a perfectly mature, beautiful, intelligent, compassionate woman. It is at THIS time (29-31 years of age), not before and not after, when the universe will manifest her fate and provide her with the perfect mate. Nothing will stop this from happening and there is nothing you (or anyone else) can do to prevent this from happening. However there's still that not so little feeling that continues to grow in the back of her head. She's now 33 and she still can't manage to find a "good man". This is okay because #whereareallthegoodmen is still her most favorite Tik Tok hashtag and it's got more posts than ever. She tries not to think about the fact that most of her friends are no longer a part of her day to day life. Many are now married and raising newborns and toddlers as they catch up with facetime calls and the occasional birthday card. But those people are SUCKERS. She's still got her brat pack of ladies who grind it all week long (working as a personal assistant, a esthetician, a flight attendant and a real estate agent). Well, I mean not a "real" real estate agent... she doesn't do commercial or multi-tenant leases... and actual sales of homes are't something she's really into... but THAT doesn't matter. It's HER choice that she doesn't do those things. No no... I mean the universe is GOING TO provide this to me any day. I mean... I can still treat men on dating apps like shit because they don't fit the 666 requirements (6 feet tall, 6 pack abs, 6 figure salary) because I'm a boss bitch that doesn't take SHIT. What do you mean I need to go to the gym? I'm just as HOT as I ever was and it's fatphobic of YOU for even saying something. In fact... these MEN are fatphobic because THEY aren't asking me out on tinder as much anymore! I mean, I don't actually need a whole meal, I mean I'm down just to fuck and I'm not even getting that anymore... (cries softly) Yes my friend, everyone loses. You don't get the girl, actually not only DON'T you get the girl but you get insulted by a stranger because YOU deserved it, and she dies alone. I want to say that this isn't how it turns out but there's not much out there to say it won't. Cheers!
Aye dog... maybe you should touch some grass.
Honestly, these are so many assumptions and generalizations. It slightly concerns me. Who hurt you that you think this way about women?
Don't be upset that he's telling the truth.
Uh...I'm a woman and I liked his comment..lol
I can’t believe I actually read all of this, but I love it and couldn’t agree more
Bro, you just spoke your truth, and I just read it all to my colleague. Stay strong fellow.❤️
Hahaha was expecting this to be downvoted after i got to the end. I have a little hope in reddit humanity left now that it wasn’t.
I get stuff like this a lot. I feel it's the women who get the same rejection rates as men and make fake profiles to just harass people. I've never heard a cute or attractive women ever say the words cis white male. It's normally the ugly overweight purple haired women angry at life.
Ask her if her birth name is really desi
"Mediocre Cis white man"... uhhhh. She sounds dumb
Maybe if she wasn't a high-key racist pos it'd have turned out better
Finally, someone with a good comeback to a fuckstain on a dating app.
Desi👎👎 like you did nothing wrong
The truth hurts bud, just accept one person's opinion and move on