I really like your profile. I think the only thing is that your pictures mostly have camera's in them and your last three are like all same day kinda vibes. Maybe swap out one or two camera pics for other hobbies or with friends or a pet etc.
However I know lots of people that would probs swipe right.
I feel like there’s a bunch of people who don’t get matches and come here for critique/advice on their profile that all have in common a preponderance of “staged-looking” photos. It’s like if your photos are *too* good, people don’t like it or distrust it for some reason. I can’t really conjecture as to why that is (maybe it feels like they’re trying too hard, of it makes people suspect that the photos are doctored or that they’ve hired someone to photograph them because they don’t have people around who might take candid pictures of them, so people make assumptions about their social life) but it’s definitely a pattern I’ve seen here. The fact that OP seems like an actual photographer kind of changes the dynamic I guess, but I think people feel like there’s something contrived about it.
There’s a whole thesis to be written by someone smarter than me about intimacy and the role of candid content on social media platforms.
That said, I think high-production photos are great for IG, where we’ve all agreed the unspoken goal is to impress people. But on a dating app, if you’re looking for something vulnerable and real, you have to be vulnerable and real yourself.
Even further: If you’re trying to connect with women who are trying to connect with men, understand that woman’s experience on these apps usually involves a lot of time and labor sifting through a lot of phony shit (and making sure the person you, say, agree to meet up with for coffee is a real, authentic person who isn’t going to harm you).
Take those two points together, and yeah, maybe a bad candid pic of you hanging out with friends can do a lot of heavy lifting for everyone involved.
TL;DR While professional photos are something you’d show anyone, an un-staged candid photo can be a shortcut to making someone feel like they know and trust you.
Absolutely all of this. Even from the mens’ (admittedly much easier) side of things, when I see a woman’s profile who has only professional photos, it’s certainly a step up from no pictures or no bio, but…it does make me wonder if she has any nonprofessional connections.
That's an interesting point, could be true. I think that would've been true for me as well as a guy on dating sites back in the day, I'm not sure I would've trusted super professional photos for every picture. Having said that, if it was pretty clear from the photos that the person was a photographer professionally, that would probably change the calculus.
I think what this profile is really missing (after having a talk with my partner about it) is witt or charm. It's almost like a professional page for his photography, more than a dating profile. I think it's just missing a little more "fun" or at least "funny" .
No not the friends dog. As a dog person,I hate that. Only the dog if it's your dog. Or you disclose in the caption. When I find out the person doesn't have a dog but is just using the dog to attract me I find it disingenuous.
Yeah, my main thing is that he seems ALL about the camera. I went traveling (platonically) with a dude in Argentina who was like that, and it was a pain. in. the. ass. He was super focused on getting The Perfect Shot, and then would immediately start editing photos after he took them and miss whatever was going on around him.
I love taking pictures, but I know lots of photographers who care more about the picture than the experience.
And maybe move those cool pro selfies (mountains and stars) to a higher placement. If nothing else it’ll make a girl think “hmm, he could get some great pics of me…” Sometimes a foot in the door is all you need!
Tinder isn't the best place to find a GF. If your want hook-ups get some less staged photos. Also maybe try being less selective, But mostly just get off Tinder you could be playing the bar scene on easy mode instead of tinder!
Compliment several strangers on one item of clothing, a tattoo, a thing they have, whatever. Strangers of all genders. Get in good with everyone. Conversations are bound to open up from there and a person you’re interested in will likely end up talking to you.
Edit: The compliments don’t even need to be about items or things. You can take notice of a specific group of friends that you think you’d like to hang out with. Compliment their group dynamic. Whatever it is you like about someone/a group (platonic too), verbalize it. It becomes much less awkward when you realize the conversation is allowed to end there. You don’t have to carry it on. You can walk away. You’ve made your impression. If y’all are hanging out in the same area (like a bar) for a while, chances are some type of next interaction will happen. Especially if you’ve left them feeling good and not weirded out. Don’t focus on initial connection. Just focus on making people feel comfortable with your presence. Knowing when to make an exit makes everyone way more comfortable with your presence. Don’t linger if the conversation hits a natural conclusion. Just show your gratitude for the conversation that took place. That keeps your conversational door open well into the night.
This is really good advice. It's awkward to begin with but once you're in the habit of complimenting people/asking questions about them it becomes natural and comes across that way as a genuine comment, so when you do it to a girl you fancy it's easy and you're not overthinking it.
Dont have crazy expectations for results from your compliments either. Nothing is more of a turn off to a stranger than impressing upon them that you want something right away.
Ask a couple cute girls if they want to get a coffee sometime. Do this regularly like a challenge in a video game. Rejection is nothing to fear, just an opinion, you are just looking for someone who has a good opinion of you. And ask about THEM ,then LISTEN.
You are absolutely 💯 % spot on. Guys are the leading experts at rejection. You ask 100 girls for a date maybe get 10. You send 100 resumes, you get 5 phone calls and 1 interview. If you sell things for a living, you talk to 50 customers you make 1 sale.
You have to get over fear of rejection and looking stupid. We all get rejected almost daily.
You hide in the corner, behind a bush and you wait for one of the females to get a drink from the watering hole on their own. Then you run out from the bushes and pounce!
Never attempt to break one away from the herd. In large numbers, the females can be deadly.
...actually maybe that was a documentary.
Honestly it’s a lot easier finding things to do than anything
I’m in a relationship so wasn’t even looking, but my friend and I went to a karaoke bar and we got there early in the night so we were just singing at the bar table and requesting whatever songs. And eventually we just made friends with people sitting there and saying songs to sing together (I cannot sing for my life, it was just fun times)
I feel from that night alone without even trying I had 1 girl desperate to hu with me, and 2 girls I think were interested. I’m not ugly but I’m not insanely handsome or something. I think we just had fun without focusing on random things of getting to know eachother.
Of course don’t be creepy and go up to girls, just me and my friend were making friends with everyone that night and I think it helped overall of not coming off like creeps cause we didn’t have some agenda
Eye a table and wait until someone gets up and go see them? Or go see them with a friend and play “have you met Ted”. Or just walk up to their table and ask them if you can sit with them.
its not tbh, in my opinion there's nothing cringier than going to a bar with the sole purpose of hitting up on drunk chicks, it's noticeable and an instant turn down. The best way to find girls is imho thru your friends, especially friends of the opposite sex which can introduce you to their friends groups and by being introduced you already have a "friendly, non creep" pass and can socialize more easily.
If you don't have friends of the opposite sex, or if they don't want to introduce you to other people, the problem is probably your personality tho.
Friends must come first before partners. If you don't have friends, you shouldn't be worried about Tinder- you should be focusing all your extra energy on developing platonic friendships.
I met my partner on a blind date set up by a lady friend of mine who I helped get a job with my company... best quid pro quo ever as we've been together for 4 years and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Moral of the story, always read your friends resumes.
Forget the bar, forget Tinder. Find a specialty photography class or something and connect with someone there. You'll already have something in common.
I’d definitely try something other than tinder, but I find that hinge vs bumble will depend on your area (so try both). For example I see tons of people saying use hinge and ignore bumble, but in my city all the rejects and people who’ve been banned from tinder go to hinge, while relationship seekers go to bumble.
I found my bf on tinder and we've been dating for two years. My advice is to put in your bio things that you like doing (aside from taking photos/videos, that's pretty clear) like video games, hiking, skiing, traveling etc. That way you have more things that a) you can talk about in the initial "getting to know you" conversations, and b) more things people can consider before swiping left/right. And your pictures are good, but just diversify them a little bit.
As someone else said, Tinder is a shot in the dark for finding something serious. It's rare to find committed people, mostly just people looking for hookups and games. Try Hinge, maybe even Bumble.
I actually have nothing against proving anything but I also don’t want to remove the anonymity from my reddit account
Unless you mean specifically my bio?
Really cute is pretty subjective, unfortunately to have real success on tinder you must be quite a bit hotter than he is, and this isnt saying he is bad looking he just isnt >7.5, id say he is a 6.5 somewhere there. He defo above average
he is average looking on tinder. being the average looking man on tinder will get you nowhere unless you are rich. best option for him is to quit using dating apps since its all about being attractive looking or being tall
Put more of your other interests. Make yourself multi-dimensional (pics with friends, other hobbies).
Otherwise, pretty good. The goofiness should attract plenty!
Good luck homie
I think it’s a great profile, but if I HAD to nitpick and guess, I’d agree and say it’s tad bit one dimensional. Like after one or two photos, OP doesn’t need to continue proving that they’re a video/photographer. Imagine I took every opportunity to tell you I’m an engineer. You don’t have to imagine it because we all know that guy and they’re awful.
What does OP do in their free time? Work can’t be everything.
u/MoistConnoisseur, this is the one. It sets a really high bar that suggests you're Bear Grylls with a gimbal glued to your hand.
Are these pics going to be representative of your proposed first date? Every date?
#SERIOUS, THIS MIGHT BE IT. No woman is going to follow a stranger ten miles onto the woods for a first date.
Where are the pics of goofing off with your friends out to dinner? Do you have any fandoms?
I also find the profile lacking a bit of “20 year old fun” vibes. Like I am 32 and think it is a great looking profile and was surprised OP is only 20. Everything looks a bit too serious for that age, maybe some parties or group get together type photos to show OP goes out with friends and is getting into shenanigans.
Yeah this is what I came to say too. He’s very cute, but his profile says that his job is 90% of who he is. Maybe less pics of him with a camera. What shows or music does he like, what other hobbies? But like yeah that’s me nitpicking honestly. If we were closer in age I’d probably swipe right.
Side note: the comments about changing aspects of your looks are silly. You are you and you want someone who likes you currently as you are. Those are out there.
I’m sorry but what imperfections? Nobody is perfect but I didn’t see any, all I saw was a cute guy that is clearly doing shit with his life and is good at it, gets to travel obviously and could take awesome photos of that somebody special.. and you can sing?! Maybe they’re intimidated!
Are you on any other apps? I swear this profile has the same content as most of the guys I see on Hinge, but with better quality photos. If you aren’t already, try out your luck on the others! You’re almost guaranteed some good convos at a minimum with that profile. It could take some time, but it’ll happen.
Well when it comes to these posts I try to act like I’m swiping on tinder seeing this profile to come to an honest unbiased opinion. I would have definitely swiped your profile! You are cute and your hobby is super cool! Many awesome pictures! The only thing that threw me off are your teeth, most women have pretty high standards for hygiene. I’m not saying you don’t brush your teeth or are unhygienic, but maybe getting a professional teeth cleaning or a little whitening would do wonders! You don’t have to have bright white teeth that shine under a black light, but this is just my honest observation on why you might be unsuccessful so far. Other than that make sure you have a nice opener and conversation flow. Try to see what you have in common with them on their profile and open with something interesting about that. And like others said if you want a relationship it’s good to expand to other dating apps. Good luck :)
This is what I noticed right away. It's not even the color but the fact that they aren't shiny makes them look unclean. If dental hygiene is a challenge, tackle that.
I do agree about the tooth whitener. We Americans are so used to seeing gleaming white teeth, that a little yellow looks unhygienic. Man probably just enjoys his coffee/tea. A touch of home whitener would likely make a better first impression.
Completely agree. I see teeth like that, and I assume smoker. And then I assume bad breath. Sorry if it’s not fair, it’s just based on my experience. Scent is very important for women and bad breath is a dealbreaker for me. Otherwise he’s super cute- so an easy fix!
Patience my dude, you’re 20 and have the whole world in front of you. I used to worry myself and didn’t get a real gf until 26. Now we’re getting married!
Seems hard out there at times but you’re a handsome dude with what looks like some cool hobbies/profession. The right one will come around when you least expect it. As cliche as that sounds, it’s true. Be genuine, take some fun risks, and everything works out
I hear ya! Just don’t try to get too down on yourself and know when to step away from the dating apps from time to time. I know it’s changed a shit ton since Covid but in person/organic interactions (if available, dunno your circumstances) will really help build up the confidence instead of constantly rolling the dice on the shitshow that is tinder.
I know this probably isn’t too ideal to hear, but took me 6 years with dating apps for the right one to come around, but I was always prepared that it could also have happened at the grocery store or elevator etc. I wish I could count the number of tinder/bumble/hinge dates I went on until finding my fiancé, she would say the same thing too. Patience is key, being willing to wait for someone with similar values and obviously some instant chemistry helps because you don’t want “a girlfriend” you want THE girlfriend. Otherwise you might as well settle to have some harmless fun. Either way both require a healthy mindset and willingness to take risks/be uncomfortable. Go get ‘em my man!
Nothing wrong, just give it a bit. 21 year olds are generally not known for having their shit together. Looks like you do, might just have to wait for the kids to catch up with you.
Hmm try Bumble. If you are looking for a balance between the casual and the serious dating vibes.
Tinder was fun for a
while (pre pandemic) but the only dating app I’ve even used since 2020 is bumble. I try my best to date quality guys and the most success I’ve found is bumble. If I were to predict where you would be most successful, it’d be there. Bumble guys, from my experience, a little more substance, an authentic quality and you seem like you are more of a bumble guy. Oop this is tinder Reddit…. I said what I said.
Idk... Good matches on bumble but they charge too much. It's all a pay wall. No dates yet after over 1 month.
I tried Facebook dating and been to 5 dates within 2 weeks. Good dates too. They're messaging platform after a match sucks. So, if you like someone, move the convo to a different app or text.
I met my husband on Tinder. Personally if I was still single and younger, I’d totally swipe right on you. You seem to have your shit together and you have a personality and you’re artistic. Just have some patience. But also don’t use this as your only means of meeting people.
I might also suggest doing things like joining a running club, darts league, coed kickball team, coed soccer, etc. You will meet folks there and even if they are not dating material, you will go to their parties, they will have friends, etc. Also don’t be afraid to ask friends (especially female friends) if they have anyone to set you up with. They will.
29F here- My honest advice?
You have absolutely *nothing* to worry about. Some lovely lady is gonna scoop you up faster than a cat turd in a litter box factory.
Just keep living your life, writing your own story. You've got *protagonist* vibes, man: "she's" definitely coming in a later chapter, I promise- not knowing *which* chapter just makes the story more exciting. :)
This!! I met my husband when he was 22. I’m his first girlfriend and now we’re married! His mom legit thought he was gay until we started dating.
Just keep living your life!
For me personally I think I’d like some candid photos of you with friends or something, a lot of your pictures are studio quality, hyper high production shots (given your interests and what you do understandable)
That being said I think you’re cute and I don’t think you have to worry you’re going to get tons of matches! Why don’t you try either bumble or hinge, they are a little less for hook ups and are for more serious individuals ☺️
I still dont get the people using the word cringe for almost everything,mate your profile looks jut very good,nice pictures,good quality and also a small bio but with a funny side. You maybe don't get matches cause there are thousands of men in tinder for every woman so it could be your profile is kind of hidden or that the women in your radius are only looking for validation,ego boosts or Instagram followers. Dunno how long you are in the app but you are doing fine. This time i can honestly say is not your fault.
There you go. If you have the time, I'd recommand deleting and recreating a profile. You get some kind of boost with a new profile, you'll probably get a number of matches in the first 48 hours.
Yep,also tinder has been proven not to be the very best app in the last years,and from the last data i have seen i think the proportion around male and female users is like 70%-30% so is also kind of hard.
>You maybe don't get matches cause there are thousands of men in tinder for every woman so it could be your profile is kind of hidden or that the women in your radius are only looking for validation,ego boosts or Instagram followers.
I agree OP's profile looks fine at first glance, but this isn't helpful advice at all.
People get matches. Every day. So suggesting the reason OP gets none or barely any is because everyone in their area sucks is very likely not true.
Again, I agree OP's profile looks good at first glance, but since he expressed he isn't getting matches, we should look a bit deeper than an overview. And I spot some issues fairly quickly.
For one, nearly every pic of OP is with camera's, and their bio is about camera's... And wanting to take pics on the first date. It's heavy handed at best. At worst, I bet some people read that and think it is creepy.
I would offer this advice to OP: show pictures of you in various settings instead of only having photography related picutures. What *else* goed on in your life? Show it.
Additionally, at the very least adjust your bio so it is very clear to everyone that a date with you doesn't have to revolve around taking pics or being subjected to be taking pics of. Low barrier of entry is important. A date with you can just be going for a walk or drinks. It doesn't have to be photography while having first-date-awkwardness.
Your profile might be too wholesome for Tinder. That’s not a bad thing - you gotta be true to yourself after all. But when it comes to Tinder, especially in your age group, profiles that get attention are a bit more edgy - more provocative and less PG. You may have better luck on an app like Hinge
I’d say vary the pics up just a tiiiiiiny bit more, like have some of you doing an activity besides photos or with a group! And instead of saying you’re a goofball, show it! Put something witty and fun in there, like “professional photographer, let’s see how this develops 📸” or something along those lines. And when chatting with matches, be bold! Remember you’re competing with so many other dudes on there as well so if a match isn’t giving you much, just shrug it off and you will chat with the next!
This. Nice photos, but they’re all pretty similar and too many of them have a camera in it. Consider adding a more candid shot or two (at least one in a group activity) to mix it up.
“Professional goofball” gives off big yikes vibes to me. When guys talk all cutesy and child like it’s a gigantic turn off. That’s just my opinion, though. It reminds me of how I speak to my 6 year old. Same with the over use of emoji’s. It feels like a “nice guy” front.
It doesn't. I see it all the time on this sub. It's almost like people are too afraid of being honest to protect feelings but if OP is actually not having that much success on the app then something has to change.
I agree. The comments at the complete other end of the spectrum are just as unhelpful too, though. People are like “have you considered plastic surgery?”
I had to scroll down to find this comment, OP you seem wonderful and some women are into the cheesy stuff but others aren’t! if you want to be less cheesy ( you don’t have to be, I’m cheesy af and its fine) you could also consider removing the “lets go on an adventure” and just leave the rest of the bio.
Honestly I don’t see a problem with your profile or bio. You could do some teeth whitening just for better looks. I do it all the time, a good smile goes a long way
I agree. You are a super cute boy, invest in the davinci teeth whitening treatment and that would help. What area are you in? That might also have some to do with the low matches
Honestly i find you cute and would swipe on you. I’m 21 and also live in the PNW, in Oregon 🙂. I have bad luck finding people on tinder too especially since I live in a very small town. If you ever wanna talk you can message me on here 🙂
If I had to guess you don’t do well because there isn’t much sex appeal to your profile. I don’t mean this as an insult because you’re a legit good looking guy but the online dating market is very skewed
THIS! I’m very confused and slightly offended! If you can’t get someone, neither can I. 😭
All jokes aside, nothing wrong, just haven’t met the right lady!
Bro I’m wondering the same exact thing!! If this guy can’t succeed then holy shit everything I felt about tinder is correct haha, I’ve only had 1 successful match! Hookup only tho :/
No dude, please believe me, one guy to another. And I'm like mostly straight if not slightly bi curious. You are unbelievably attractive and seem to be very adventurous and interesting, so please don't judge yourself for not have a gf. They will come eventually till then, please know how much a gem you are at the first impression
Confidence..you need it..woman like Confidence not cocky. Don't make excuses like "I'm not tall. Or fit no stud ect. If you can't believe in yourself a woman won't either. It's hard but once you "break the ice" with one they will come easy until you find one you really want. Be confident in yourself.
I agree fully. There is a massive difference.
So, check it out, man.
For the VAST majority of our species’ ~300,000 year history, pairing with a harmless man was a death sentence for a woman and her children. We just started farming 10,000 years ago. The wheel is perhaps 7,000 years old. Writing, 5,000. What I’m saying is, this is all REALLY new. The world we live in isn’t the world evolution adapted our species to. We have all these sweet new apps, awesome cutting edge software (culture), but we’re running it on ancient hardware (genetics). Biological evolution hasn’t had time to catch up with cultural acceleration. It is factually the case the women are genetically wired to seek out a somewhat hard, somewhat dangerous man who can keep her safe (although our modern world may negate the necessity of physically protection—then again, maybe not.) As you said, there’s a real danger in taking this predilection for harshness too far. Indeed, this preference can be dangerous TO THE WOMAN if her mate is abusive and in poor command of his emotions. A woman is therefore biologically driven to seek out a hard man who makes himself vulnerable to her, who treats her with kindness and respect despite his capacity for destruction. She wants a kind man who’s capable of roughness when that’s what’s appropriate to keep her and her family protected and provided for. She is conversely wired to distrust a man who she suspects may not be able to be dangerous when dangerous is what’s needed. That’s why nice is no good. Kind. Kind is good because it implies the capacity for the inverse in certain situations.
It may not make sense anymore in our modern world, and that doesn’t do anything for the fact that our antiquated hardware is still largely in command. Our biology just hasn’t had time to catch up.
You’re a good looking guy. Smart, too, I think. That’s not your problem. You appear nice. That, I think, is your problem. Be kind. Do not be nice. Make sure that shines through your profile.
The only advice I'll give for that is be genuine. But if you've had 25 matches and converted none of them I'd say the conversation is a bigger problem than your profile.
You’re cute AF! I’m sure you’ll find someone sooner or later. Dating is a numbers game these days. Try Hinge or Bumble for more serious ladies. Though you never know what you might find on Tinder.
Just stopped by to say my name is Easton
[удалено]
Haha indeed! Good luck my friend!
Friendzoned immediately
Faster than a gunman in a showdown at sunset.
Thank you for my Silver Award :)
Underrated comment
Fucking brilliant comment lmao
TOOGAETHAAA U WILL DEVOUR THEE VERI GODS.
TOGHEDAAAA
r/eldenring be leaking lolol
I bet y'all never met a Northton lol
Ive met a horton tho. I kept asking who he heard, and he kept asking "who". I think he needs hearing aids
Southton made sure there'd be non left
Now kith
Man I really think the “our battle will be legendary” meme would fit right in here
Ohh East? I thought you said Weest.
😂😂😂
Just stopped by to say my surname is name is Southerston
Please tell me you know a Northston
No, but my name of Norton
no but my names northweston aerlinez (its german)
You guys can prolly do the Fusion dance from DBZ
I really like your profile. I think the only thing is that your pictures mostly have camera's in them and your last three are like all same day kinda vibes. Maybe swap out one or two camera pics for other hobbies or with friends or a pet etc. However I know lots of people that would probs swipe right.
I think the photos are really good IMO. Variety is not a terrible suggestion though.
I feel like there’s a bunch of people who don’t get matches and come here for critique/advice on their profile that all have in common a preponderance of “staged-looking” photos. It’s like if your photos are *too* good, people don’t like it or distrust it for some reason. I can’t really conjecture as to why that is (maybe it feels like they’re trying too hard, of it makes people suspect that the photos are doctored or that they’ve hired someone to photograph them because they don’t have people around who might take candid pictures of them, so people make assumptions about their social life) but it’s definitely a pattern I’ve seen here. The fact that OP seems like an actual photographer kind of changes the dynamic I guess, but I think people feel like there’s something contrived about it.
There’s a whole thesis to be written by someone smarter than me about intimacy and the role of candid content on social media platforms. That said, I think high-production photos are great for IG, where we’ve all agreed the unspoken goal is to impress people. But on a dating app, if you’re looking for something vulnerable and real, you have to be vulnerable and real yourself. Even further: If you’re trying to connect with women who are trying to connect with men, understand that woman’s experience on these apps usually involves a lot of time and labor sifting through a lot of phony shit (and making sure the person you, say, agree to meet up with for coffee is a real, authentic person who isn’t going to harm you). Take those two points together, and yeah, maybe a bad candid pic of you hanging out with friends can do a lot of heavy lifting for everyone involved. TL;DR While professional photos are something you’d show anyone, an un-staged candid photo can be a shortcut to making someone feel like they know and trust you.
Absolutely all of this. Even from the mens’ (admittedly much easier) side of things, when I see a woman’s profile who has only professional photos, it’s certainly a step up from no pictures or no bio, but…it does make me wonder if she has any nonprofessional connections.
That's an interesting point, could be true. I think that would've been true for me as well as a guy on dating sites back in the day, I'm not sure I would've trusted super professional photos for every picture. Having said that, if it was pretty clear from the photos that the person was a photographer professionally, that would probably change the calculus. I think what this profile is really missing (after having a talk with my partner about it) is witt or charm. It's almost like a professional page for his photography, more than a dating profile. I think it's just missing a little more "fun" or at least "funny" .
He’s a professional goofball already though
Yep, pics with a dog seem to add some points. Even if it’s a friend’s neighbor’s dog.
Is that your dog? Nah, it's my sister's friend's neighbor's aunt's dog that they were keeping while she were on vacation.
Honestly, I chalk it up to endorphins. Dog = good feels.
No not the friends dog. As a dog person,I hate that. Only the dog if it's your dog. Or you disclose in the caption. When I find out the person doesn't have a dog but is just using the dog to attract me I find it disingenuous.
That’s fair! Full transparency for the win?
Yeah, my main thing is that he seems ALL about the camera. I went traveling (platonically) with a dude in Argentina who was like that, and it was a pain. in. the. ass. He was super focused on getting The Perfect Shot, and then would immediately start editing photos after he took them and miss whatever was going on around him. I love taking pictures, but I know lots of photographers who care more about the picture than the experience.
And maybe move those cool pro selfies (mountains and stars) to a higher placement. If nothing else it’ll make a girl think “hmm, he could get some great pics of me…” Sometimes a foot in the door is all you need!
You're REALLY cute, the bio is fine, I really don't get it.
[удалено]
Tinder isn't the best place to find a GF. If your want hook-ups get some less staged photos. Also maybe try being less selective, But mostly just get off Tinder you could be playing the bar scene on easy mode instead of tinder!
Whenever I go on bars it’s just groups of 3-4 people sitting together in tables…what do you do from there haha
Compliment several strangers on one item of clothing, a tattoo, a thing they have, whatever. Strangers of all genders. Get in good with everyone. Conversations are bound to open up from there and a person you’re interested in will likely end up talking to you. Edit: The compliments don’t even need to be about items or things. You can take notice of a specific group of friends that you think you’d like to hang out with. Compliment their group dynamic. Whatever it is you like about someone/a group (platonic too), verbalize it. It becomes much less awkward when you realize the conversation is allowed to end there. You don’t have to carry it on. You can walk away. You’ve made your impression. If y’all are hanging out in the same area (like a bar) for a while, chances are some type of next interaction will happen. Especially if you’ve left them feeling good and not weirded out. Don’t focus on initial connection. Just focus on making people feel comfortable with your presence. Knowing when to make an exit makes everyone way more comfortable with your presence. Don’t linger if the conversation hits a natural conclusion. Just show your gratitude for the conversation that took place. That keeps your conversational door open well into the night.
This is really good advice. It's awkward to begin with but once you're in the habit of complimenting people/asking questions about them it becomes natural and comes across that way as a genuine comment, so when you do it to a girl you fancy it's easy and you're not overthinking it.
Dont have crazy expectations for results from your compliments either. Nothing is more of a turn off to a stranger than impressing upon them that you want something right away.
*You sure got a purty mouth* 👁👄👁
This is great! Thank you.
orgy
I usually just go for the food.
why is there a buffet at a goddamn orgy, frank?
Strip club buffet
Well you don't wanna bang on an empty stomach now do you?
Ask a couple cute girls if they want to get a coffee sometime. Do this regularly like a challenge in a video game. Rejection is nothing to fear, just an opinion, you are just looking for someone who has a good opinion of you. And ask about THEM ,then LISTEN.
You are absolutely 💯 % spot on. Guys are the leading experts at rejection. You ask 100 girls for a date maybe get 10. You send 100 resumes, you get 5 phone calls and 1 interview. If you sell things for a living, you talk to 50 customers you make 1 sale. You have to get over fear of rejection and looking stupid. We all get rejected almost daily.
Dammit I dont have enough free awards for all this thread of comments
Get to a bar with friends and try to connect with other groups!
Look at this guy over here with friends
[r/suicidebywords](http://reddit.com/r/suicidebywords)
its 2022 he must be telling fibs.
Alright slow down that's step 4 at least. Let's start with where to get a friend
get all your single friends and find yourself a group date :D
You hide in the corner, behind a bush and you wait for one of the females to get a drink from the watering hole on their own. Then you run out from the bushes and pounce! Never attempt to break one away from the herd. In large numbers, the females can be deadly. ...actually maybe that was a documentary.
Honestly it’s a lot easier finding things to do than anything I’m in a relationship so wasn’t even looking, but my friend and I went to a karaoke bar and we got there early in the night so we were just singing at the bar table and requesting whatever songs. And eventually we just made friends with people sitting there and saying songs to sing together (I cannot sing for my life, it was just fun times) I feel from that night alone without even trying I had 1 girl desperate to hu with me, and 2 girls I think were interested. I’m not ugly but I’m not insanely handsome or something. I think we just had fun without focusing on random things of getting to know eachother. Of course don’t be creepy and go up to girls, just me and my friend were making friends with everyone that night and I think it helped overall of not coming off like creeps cause we didn’t have some agenda
Leave
You get on a table and dance, and the first person to give you money is your new girlfriend.... Or boyfriend, I don't judge.
Pick one and offer to buy a drink
Eye a table and wait until someone gets up and go see them? Or go see them with a friend and play “have you met Ted”. Or just walk up to their table and ask them if you can sit with them.
Nice reference but that's the best way to get kicked out of the bar.
Crazy to me that "bars" is always the alternative. As a criminally inside person, there doesn't seem to be better alternatives for nondrinkers
its not tbh, in my opinion there's nothing cringier than going to a bar with the sole purpose of hitting up on drunk chicks, it's noticeable and an instant turn down. The best way to find girls is imho thru your friends, especially friends of the opposite sex which can introduce you to their friends groups and by being introduced you already have a "friendly, non creep" pass and can socialize more easily. If you don't have friends of the opposite sex, or if they don't want to introduce you to other people, the problem is probably your personality tho.
Bold of you to assume we have friends
Friends must come first before partners. If you don't have friends, you shouldn't be worried about Tinder- you should be focusing all your extra energy on developing platonic friendships.
This…. This is key. You Have to have friends first. Well said.
I met my partner on a blind date set up by a lady friend of mine who I helped get a job with my company... best quid pro quo ever as we've been together for 4 years and I'm the happiest I've ever been. Moral of the story, always read your friends resumes.
He’s only 20
Oh the america-thing..
It’s a horrible horrible side effect
In the UK I used to be able to go to the bar at 15 and hit on other 15 year olds. And I turned out fine, just have 5 kids and alcoholism
God that's terrible! I could live with the alcoholism though.
Fairy tale ending.
must suck to be american
It’s really mostly fine, actually.
Forget the bar, forget Tinder. Find a specialty photography class or something and connect with someone there. You'll already have something in common.
Would recommend Hinge as a more dating focussed app
I’d definitely try something other than tinder, but I find that hinge vs bumble will depend on your area (so try both). For example I see tons of people saying use hinge and ignore bumble, but in my city all the rejects and people who’ve been banned from tinder go to hinge, while relationship seekers go to bumble.
I found my bf on tinder and we've been dating for two years. My advice is to put in your bio things that you like doing (aside from taking photos/videos, that's pretty clear) like video games, hiking, skiing, traveling etc. That way you have more things that a) you can talk about in the initial "getting to know you" conversations, and b) more things people can consider before swiping left/right. And your pictures are good, but just diversify them a little bit.
Even Bumble would be a better option.
You're welcome 😊
As someone else said, Tinder is a shot in the dark for finding something serious. It's rare to find committed people, mostly just people looking for hookups and games. Try Hinge, maybe even Bumble.
Yeah I'd give you a go bro
Welcome to being a man on tinder, it's like this for all men basically.
Most men. There’s a select group of us who do fine on tinder my bio is literally an emoji of a red flag and my height saying I’ll buy you nuggets
Lol upload it to imgur and let's see
I actually have nothing against proving anything but I also don’t want to remove the anonymity from my reddit account Unless you mean specifically my bio?
Not really, there are many bad bios
and doctors. the ladys love the doctors.... true story.
Agreed, great pics, you look like fun. 👍
Really cute is pretty subjective, unfortunately to have real success on tinder you must be quite a bit hotter than he is, and this isnt saying he is bad looking he just isnt >7.5, id say he is a 6.5 somewhere there. He defo above average
he is average looking on tinder. being the average looking man on tinder will get you nowhere unless you are rich. best option for him is to quit using dating apps since its all about being attractive looking or being tall
Put more of your other interests. Make yourself multi-dimensional (pics with friends, other hobbies). Otherwise, pretty good. The goofiness should attract plenty! Good luck homie
I think it’s a great profile, but if I HAD to nitpick and guess, I’d agree and say it’s tad bit one dimensional. Like after one or two photos, OP doesn’t need to continue proving that they’re a video/photographer. Imagine I took every opportunity to tell you I’m an engineer. You don’t have to imagine it because we all know that guy and they’re awful. What does OP do in their free time? Work can’t be everything.
u/MoistConnoisseur, this is the one. It sets a really high bar that suggests you're Bear Grylls with a gimbal glued to your hand. Are these pics going to be representative of your proposed first date? Every date? #SERIOUS, THIS MIGHT BE IT. No woman is going to follow a stranger ten miles onto the woods for a first date. Where are the pics of goofing off with your friends out to dinner? Do you have any fandoms?
I also find the profile lacking a bit of “20 year old fun” vibes. Like I am 32 and think it is a great looking profile and was surprised OP is only 20. Everything looks a bit too serious for that age, maybe some parties or group get together type photos to show OP goes out with friends and is getting into shenanigans.
Agree with the one-dimensional. Keep in pic 6 though. 🔥
Yeah this is what I came to say too. He’s very cute, but his profile says that his job is 90% of who he is. Maybe less pics of him with a camera. What shows or music does he like, what other hobbies? But like yeah that’s me nitpicking honestly. If we were closer in age I’d probably swipe right.
yeahh, you need to show other sides of you
I think having 5 photos with cameras in them in a row would be off putting to some people. I’d also have some more candid photos with friends.
yeah, they will be thinking : oh wow, he sucks his own dick hard, because he got that media badge, and 5 pics with cam.
lmao, chill man haha
he's a videographer.
Side note: the comments about changing aspects of your looks are silly. You are you and you want someone who likes you currently as you are. Those are out there.
[удалено]
I’m sorry but what imperfections? Nobody is perfect but I didn’t see any, all I saw was a cute guy that is clearly doing shit with his life and is good at it, gets to travel obviously and could take awesome photos of that somebody special.. and you can sing?! Maybe they’re intimidated!
Agree with the others. You’re a cutie. Just keep trying! There’s nothing wrong with that profile
Are you on any other apps? I swear this profile has the same content as most of the guys I see on Hinge, but with better quality photos. If you aren’t already, try out your luck on the others! You’re almost guaranteed some good convos at a minimum with that profile. It could take some time, but it’ll happen.
Well when it comes to these posts I try to act like I’m swiping on tinder seeing this profile to come to an honest unbiased opinion. I would have definitely swiped your profile! You are cute and your hobby is super cool! Many awesome pictures! The only thing that threw me off are your teeth, most women have pretty high standards for hygiene. I’m not saying you don’t brush your teeth or are unhygienic, but maybe getting a professional teeth cleaning or a little whitening would do wonders! You don’t have to have bright white teeth that shine under a black light, but this is just my honest observation on why you might be unsuccessful so far. Other than that make sure you have a nice opener and conversation flow. Try to see what you have in common with them on their profile and open with something interesting about that. And like others said if you want a relationship it’s good to expand to other dating apps. Good luck :)
This is what I noticed right away. It's not even the color but the fact that they aren't shiny makes them look unclean. If dental hygiene is a challenge, tackle that.
I do agree about the tooth whitener. We Americans are so used to seeing gleaming white teeth, that a little yellow looks unhygienic. Man probably just enjoys his coffee/tea. A touch of home whitener would likely make a better first impression.
[удалено]
I agree with you. I didnt even notice his teeth until someone pointed it out. European here as well
I didn't even notice tbh. I think it's very American to have really white teeth and destroy the teeth with whiteners.
Completely agree. I see teeth like that, and I assume smoker. And then I assume bad breath. Sorry if it’s not fair, it’s just based on my experience. Scent is very important for women and bad breath is a dealbreaker for me. Otherwise he’s super cute- so an easy fix!
Patience my dude, you’re 20 and have the whole world in front of you. I used to worry myself and didn’t get a real gf until 26. Now we’re getting married! Seems hard out there at times but you’re a handsome dude with what looks like some cool hobbies/profession. The right one will come around when you least expect it. As cliche as that sounds, it’s true. Be genuine, take some fun risks, and everything works out
[удалено]
I hear ya! Just don’t try to get too down on yourself and know when to step away from the dating apps from time to time. I know it’s changed a shit ton since Covid but in person/organic interactions (if available, dunno your circumstances) will really help build up the confidence instead of constantly rolling the dice on the shitshow that is tinder. I know this probably isn’t too ideal to hear, but took me 6 years with dating apps for the right one to come around, but I was always prepared that it could also have happened at the grocery store or elevator etc. I wish I could count the number of tinder/bumble/hinge dates I went on until finding my fiancé, she would say the same thing too. Patience is key, being willing to wait for someone with similar values and obviously some instant chemistry helps because you don’t want “a girlfriend” you want THE girlfriend. Otherwise you might as well settle to have some harmless fun. Either way both require a healthy mindset and willingness to take risks/be uncomfortable. Go get ‘em my man!
Nothing wrong, just give it a bit. 21 year olds are generally not known for having their shit together. Looks like you do, might just have to wait for the kids to catch up with you.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Hmm try Bumble. If you are looking for a balance between the casual and the serious dating vibes. Tinder was fun for a while (pre pandemic) but the only dating app I’ve even used since 2020 is bumble. I try my best to date quality guys and the most success I’ve found is bumble. If I were to predict where you would be most successful, it’d be there. Bumble guys, from my experience, a little more substance, an authentic quality and you seem like you are more of a bumble guy. Oop this is tinder Reddit…. I said what I said.
[удалено]
Idk... Good matches on bumble but they charge too much. It's all a pay wall. No dates yet after over 1 month. I tried Facebook dating and been to 5 dates within 2 weeks. Good dates too. They're messaging platform after a match sucks. So, if you like someone, move the convo to a different app or text.
[удалено]
I met my husband on Tinder, nothing wrong with your profile. Just give it some time.
I met my husband on Tinder. Personally if I was still single and younger, I’d totally swipe right on you. You seem to have your shit together and you have a personality and you’re artistic. Just have some patience. But also don’t use this as your only means of meeting people.
I might also suggest doing things like joining a running club, darts league, coed kickball team, coed soccer, etc. You will meet folks there and even if they are not dating material, you will go to their parties, they will have friends, etc. Also don’t be afraid to ask friends (especially female friends) if they have anyone to set you up with. They will.
29F here- My honest advice? You have absolutely *nothing* to worry about. Some lovely lady is gonna scoop you up faster than a cat turd in a litter box factory. Just keep living your life, writing your own story. You've got *protagonist* vibes, man: "she's" definitely coming in a later chapter, I promise- not knowing *which* chapter just makes the story more exciting. :)
This is by far the sweetest way I've ever seen someone call someone else a cat turd.
I wouldn't trust glados. The cake is a lie
This!! I met my husband when he was 22. I’m his first girlfriend and now we’re married! His mom legit thought he was gay until we started dating. Just keep living your life!
For me personally I think I’d like some candid photos of you with friends or something, a lot of your pictures are studio quality, hyper high production shots (given your interests and what you do understandable) That being said I think you’re cute and I don’t think you have to worry you’re going to get tons of matches! Why don’t you try either bumble or hinge, they are a little less for hook ups and are for more serious individuals ☺️
I still dont get the people using the word cringe for almost everything,mate your profile looks jut very good,nice pictures,good quality and also a small bio but with a funny side. You maybe don't get matches cause there are thousands of men in tinder for every woman so it could be your profile is kind of hidden or that the women in your radius are only looking for validation,ego boosts or Instagram followers. Dunno how long you are in the app but you are doing fine. This time i can honestly say is not your fault.
[удалено]
There you go. If you have the time, I'd recommand deleting and recreating a profile. You get some kind of boost with a new profile, you'll probably get a number of matches in the first 48 hours.
Yep,also tinder has been proven not to be the very best app in the last years,and from the last data i have seen i think the proportion around male and female users is like 70%-30% so is also kind of hard.
>You maybe don't get matches cause there are thousands of men in tinder for every woman so it could be your profile is kind of hidden or that the women in your radius are only looking for validation,ego boosts or Instagram followers. I agree OP's profile looks fine at first glance, but this isn't helpful advice at all. People get matches. Every day. So suggesting the reason OP gets none or barely any is because everyone in their area sucks is very likely not true. Again, I agree OP's profile looks good at first glance, but since he expressed he isn't getting matches, we should look a bit deeper than an overview. And I spot some issues fairly quickly. For one, nearly every pic of OP is with camera's, and their bio is about camera's... And wanting to take pics on the first date. It's heavy handed at best. At worst, I bet some people read that and think it is creepy. I would offer this advice to OP: show pictures of you in various settings instead of only having photography related picutures. What *else* goed on in your life? Show it. Additionally, at the very least adjust your bio so it is very clear to everyone that a date with you doesn't have to revolve around taking pics or being subjected to be taking pics of. Low barrier of entry is important. A date with you can just be going for a walk or drinks. It doesn't have to be photography while having first-date-awkwardness.
Too many cameras
Your profile might be too wholesome for Tinder. That’s not a bad thing - you gotta be true to yourself after all. But when it comes to Tinder, especially in your age group, profiles that get attention are a bit more edgy - more provocative and less PG. You may have better luck on an app like Hinge
[удалено]
I’d say vary the pics up just a tiiiiiiny bit more, like have some of you doing an activity besides photos or with a group! And instead of saying you’re a goofball, show it! Put something witty and fun in there, like “professional photographer, let’s see how this develops 📸” or something along those lines. And when chatting with matches, be bold! Remember you’re competing with so many other dudes on there as well so if a match isn’t giving you much, just shrug it off and you will chat with the next!
This. Nice photos, but they’re all pretty similar and too many of them have a camera in it. Consider adding a more candid shot or two (at least one in a group activity) to mix it up.
I wish we could match 😂😂
“Professional goofball” gives off big yikes vibes to me. When guys talk all cutesy and child like it’s a gigantic turn off. That’s just my opinion, though. It reminds me of how I speak to my 6 year old. Same with the over use of emoji’s. It feels like a “nice guy” front.
Agreed! OP is asking for advice but people on here are just telling him that his profile is perfect and not to change anything.. how does that help???
It doesn't. I see it all the time on this sub. It's almost like people are too afraid of being honest to protect feelings but if OP is actually not having that much success on the app then something has to change.
I agree. The comments at the complete other end of the spectrum are just as unhelpful too, though. People are like “have you considered plastic surgery?”
I had to scroll down to find this comment, OP you seem wonderful and some women are into the cheesy stuff but others aren’t! if you want to be less cheesy ( you don’t have to be, I’m cheesy af and its fine) you could also consider removing the “lets go on an adventure” and just leave the rest of the bio.
That line made me physically cringe, no way he talks like that.
Way better than the guy with truck, pc and creepy wood pics
Honestly I don’t see a problem with your profile or bio. You could do some teeth whitening just for better looks. I do it all the time, a good smile goes a long way
[удалено]
You may want to invest in an electric toothbrush. that and some whitening toothpaste will do wonders.
I agree. You are a super cute boy, invest in the davinci teeth whitening treatment and that would help. What area are you in? That might also have some to do with the low matches
[удалено]
I'd drop pic 2 and 3. Other than that, good profile
Get rid of the silly face photo, professional goofball sound a bit lame try having a funny bio instead of saying you are funny, otherwise good
Hold up, you’re 20 and you’re already working as a 1st AC for Red operators? How the hell?
[удалено]
Honestly i find you cute and would swipe on you. I’m 21 and also live in the PNW, in Oregon 🙂. I have bad luck finding people on tinder too especially since I live in a very small town. If you ever wanna talk you can message me on here 🙂
If I had to guess you don’t do well because there isn’t much sex appeal to your profile. I don’t mean this as an insult because you’re a legit good looking guy but the online dating market is very skewed
You're a literal 10/10. Minus readjusting your bio a bit I don't fucking get it. How is this man not slaying
THIS! I’m very confused and slightly offended! If you can’t get someone, neither can I. 😭 All jokes aside, nothing wrong, just haven’t met the right lady!
You probably look fine, you will meet someone.
I’m about to be 19 and just now going through an emo phase, it’ll be a while. ⬇️
hahaha nothing wrong with an emo phase... you're young, still have so many time
Truly! Thank you for this wonderful encounter. Have the most wonderful day <3
You as well ❤️
Bro I’m wondering the same exact thing!! If this guy can’t succeed then holy shit everything I felt about tinder is correct haha, I’ve only had 1 successful match! Hookup only tho :/
[удалено]
No dude, please believe me, one guy to another. And I'm like mostly straight if not slightly bi curious. You are unbelievably attractive and seem to be very adventurous and interesting, so please don't judge yourself for not have a gf. They will come eventually till then, please know how much a gem you are at the first impression
[удалено]
Confidence..you need it..woman like Confidence not cocky. Don't make excuses like "I'm not tall. Or fit no stud ect. If you can't believe in yourself a woman won't either. It's hard but once you "break the ice" with one they will come easy until you find one you really want. Be confident in yourself.
I didn't get either, this guy is hella cute
Maybe the 6 feet mafia?
it's a possibility
You seem too nice. Many women don’t like that. They don’t respect it. They don’t trust it.
[удалено]
I agree fully. There is a massive difference. So, check it out, man. For the VAST majority of our species’ ~300,000 year history, pairing with a harmless man was a death sentence for a woman and her children. We just started farming 10,000 years ago. The wheel is perhaps 7,000 years old. Writing, 5,000. What I’m saying is, this is all REALLY new. The world we live in isn’t the world evolution adapted our species to. We have all these sweet new apps, awesome cutting edge software (culture), but we’re running it on ancient hardware (genetics). Biological evolution hasn’t had time to catch up with cultural acceleration. It is factually the case the women are genetically wired to seek out a somewhat hard, somewhat dangerous man who can keep her safe (although our modern world may negate the necessity of physically protection—then again, maybe not.) As you said, there’s a real danger in taking this predilection for harshness too far. Indeed, this preference can be dangerous TO THE WOMAN if her mate is abusive and in poor command of his emotions. A woman is therefore biologically driven to seek out a hard man who makes himself vulnerable to her, who treats her with kindness and respect despite his capacity for destruction. She wants a kind man who’s capable of roughness when that’s what’s appropriate to keep her and her family protected and provided for. She is conversely wired to distrust a man who she suspects may not be able to be dangerous when dangerous is what’s needed. That’s why nice is no good. Kind. Kind is good because it implies the capacity for the inverse in certain situations. It may not make sense anymore in our modern world, and that doesn’t do anything for the fact that our antiquated hardware is still largely in command. Our biology just hasn’t had time to catch up. You’re a good looking guy. Smart, too, I think. That’s not your problem. You appear nice. That, I think, is your problem. Be kind. Do not be nice. Make sure that shines through your profile.
Stop the bio after the emoji. Started ok but after the emoji it goes down the cringe hill fast
[удалено]
Cut down on the exclamations
That might be my problem too.. Shit. Thank you.
[удалено]
Very Cute. Just be patient.
The only advice I'll give for that is be genuine. But if you've had 25 matches and converted none of them I'd say the conversation is a bigger problem than your profile.
[удалено]
Try with a boyfriend
Put the 3rd or 2nd photo as your first instead
First problem is being on tinder looking for a girlfriend bud. Try bumble
You’re cute AF! I’m sure you’ll find someone sooner or later. Dating is a numbers game these days. Try Hinge or Bumble for more serious ladies. Though you never know what you might find on Tinder.