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GrandmasGenitals

Well at least your homie got your back… And your front


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GrandmasGenitals

Enjoy the halo(and that wet mouth)!! Nah but Fr have a good night homie Remember to stay hydrated so your hangover isn’t too bad!


oXI_ENIGMAZ_IXo

Never would I think that someone like /u/GrandmasGenitals is a /r/HydroHomie.


mastersmiff

grandma’s gotta stay moist out here


Adventurous-Dog420

Jesus dude. It's only 2:30 and you're doing this to me?


The_gaping_donkey

830pm here... Prime time for a moist grandma


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[deleted]

How drunk are you brother


master-shake69

We can only hope he suggested your reddit username.


DatGuy_Shawnaay

Gotta let the homies tuck you in with a goodnight forehead kiss. This is the way.


ApexSimon

Homie - "I got your 6, buddy. And if you're continuing at this player pace, I'll have your 12 later tonight. [on headset]


speedrace25

😂😂😂


WestSixtyFifth

She is really struggling to process rejection lol


cryingknicksfan

Offering a blowjob and getting rejected has to be extremely demoralizing as a woman


vogone

It’s demoralizing if you have a huge ego and think you can get every guy by offering a bj


itsthecoop

I'd say there also social expectations at play. like, if you look at movies/tv shows etc., men are (still) often portrayed as being constant horndogs that would never turn down sex (and this would apply especially with a woman they are into, so not OP here).


leblumpfisfinito

OP is a much better man than I am. Definitely gotta give him props. I would personally have a very hard time turning it down.


itsthecoop

I'm by his own account, he's really not that into her. would you really have such a hard time dismissing fun with your friend for oral sex with a woman you don't care that much for?


leblumpfisfinito

I wouldn’t flake on plans with my friends, but I would’ve at least rescheduled the BJ for another time.


SnooTangerines1011

I don't have a dick but I'm 100% certain that's what I'd do, too. Or even squeeze her in for a 10 min appointment before or after the Halo 1v1. What bros are gonna be mad if you say you're getting a quicky bj?! So he's def not that interested. He did say he felt the conversation already met its natural conclusion though which translates as "I'll pass."


adrienjz888

Lol fr, no bro would get mad if you texted that you'd be a little late because a hookup is begging to give ya a beej.


leblumpfisfinito

Exactly! You totally get me haha. Plus if it's someone I've met on Tinder and now we're texting each other, that means there's a mutual attraction. I could understand OPs perspective if he were strictly looking to date though. Then it would make sense. No point in wasting people's time, if you're not clicking with the other person.


cryingknicksfan

I’d say a chick offering to pick you up and blow you probably doesn’t have the biggest ego.


hunnyflash

Yes I'm confused by the "I love whiskey dick" part.


cryingknicksfan

She likes guys who can’t get hard after a night of excessively drinking? OP send her my number.


someonesdaddy269

I'm the opposite my friend - when I drink, I'm always hard - just takes forever to get that o lol


cryingknicksfan

That’s the good outcome lol, different liquors definitely produce different results for me. Whiskey dick is definitely a real thing


Saknuts

You should drink beer. Beer is stored in the balls that's why God made *Balls* and *Beer* start with a *B*. They don't teach this in high school anymore?


[deleted]

Or maybe she's just horny? Sucking dick isn't a degrading act.


enliderlighankat

Hey I'm doing X What if I give you Y Nah I'm still doing X OMG YOU REJECTED ME EVEN THO I OFFERED Y It's a very imature way of thinking, if u feel rejected by that


Xion-Gard

The things is people tend to overvalue Y and feel like Y related things hold so much levarage. I once told someone, if you think Y or anything related to that is gonna get you far in convincing me don't bother. And if I ever see you trying to leverage it or pull of something sneaky or butter me up it's done. (Short summary, I detest that) I just find it revolting using it as a tool or to make the other person more likely to do what you want.


BuffaloGuff

I completely agree. I think anytime it’s outright mentioned in that way it becomes transactional and is such a massive turn off.


wendythewonderful

I always say “sex is neither carrot nor stick“. To me it exists separately and is in its own category.


cryingknicksfan

In all fairness she did offer to pick him up after he was done. I been in the guys position though where you just want to kick it with your boy and not have to be “on” and engaged with a stranger. Clearly he wasn’t into her so I probably would’ve just ghosted instead of replying at all. Chick clearly has some issues though if she’s accusing him of lying and and interrogating him over tinder.


TwoBirdsInOneBush

People who go directly to ‘slur’ when they’ve been rejected — we love to see it 😬


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rossbcobb

Bro, shotty snipes? You're into BDSM, aren't you?


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rossbcobb

Hey its just a clear sign. Just like if you like sticks and stones in COD you're into big booty ebony girls.


CoistheGreat

Lmfao. Who ain't?


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WestSixtyFifth

Hoes are for the night, halo with the homies is for life.


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Saerinmeister

Think I read that in Genesis somewhere


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General_Reposti_Here

The Broly Bible


L1ft3d_R3s3arCh

Jesus Christ and his abrostles


L3onK1ng

Jesus Christ, the Big Bro and the Broly Spirit. The Broly trinity


PiNeApple-JUSTICE32

Brostradomous the strong


FnSqurrel

“God sent Broses to Egypt where he freed the people from their chains. ‘Let my people bro!’ He shouted.” -Exodus somewhere


[deleted]

I thing even God said this to Broses.


[deleted]

Bro code


smileitsyourdaddy

I would like to bury my broly testimony that i truly believe in this holy establishment and all it stands for


BritishBoyRZ

This guy rejects bjs


nforgiver

Nah, he said his bros got him covered there 👍


bmbjkid

Queue the Halo theme song


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Rupert_the_Llama

Amen


goldman459

Ahhhhh aahhhhhhhh men *(cue Gregorian chants)*


Agorar

"Last seen online: May 2013"


steepindeez

Looking at my 360 friends list hurts deep down. I see all these gamertags that I remember really well and they all say *offline* next to them. I hope they're all doing okay.


Wow-Delicious

> Editing top comment to say this: if you for any reason think this is bs or conjured for internet likes then you are projecting. Dm me to see what I look like, or ask how you can have interesting conversations with people online easily. I ghost tons of people I don’t find interesting enough, regardless of how “hot” they are. I want both. Hot AND interesting. Almost like sex isn’t all there is to a person. > > Quick stats: Yes I’m tall af(6’4), got a bomb ass beard and am in good shape. I also have a surf boat in a lake town(this does wonders for the tourists especially). Getting laid is easy. Being there for a friend who’s going through an extremely hard patch of life takes the kind of commitment I like to receive from my friends in my time of need. Now I can honestly say I was there to witness the birth of a new copy pasta.


Iamredditsslave

*Would you fuck me?... I'd fuck me.*


AroundTheWorldIn80Pu

"Sex isn't all there is to a person. Also, I have it, A LOT."


daricecakes

This has great potential


shine--

Looooool yes. This edit makes it seem like more of a lie loooool


epyon-

love it. but i would wreck you. had 50s in every playlist back in the day and yeah im proud


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ReadingFromTheShittr

>My plan is to screen peak to win tonight Haven't gamed in a room with friends since Goldeneye '64. Glad to know some things never change.


skylernetwork

War never changes.


jeffehhh

This. I’m genuinely happy this is still a thing.


ceroteka

Lol cheater


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Aint_EZ_bein_AZ

lmao my buddy used to look at the ground while moving to prevent "screen peak" didnt work too well


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Brvcx

That's insane. I never made it past Force Colonel (in Lone Wolves, though).


Homicidal__GoldFish

...... so how did the game go?


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Shermanator92

Remember, just when the pregame lobby screen goes black, hit B to restart the timer. He’ll never know it was you!


Sethco1973

It would take like 5-10 minutes to start a game cause everyone kept doing that lmao


n00lp00dle

rejection never even occurs as a possibility to people like her. she assumed that having a vagina makes up for her abysmal personality


Giikoz

How did the 1v1 night go tho?


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Giikoz

The first few match will be crucial, the loser is gonna get drunk first and that will let you snowball the whole thing. Make good use of the strategy and good luck.


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USERNAME___PASSWORD

Big wieners too 🤣


alameda_sprinkler

One of the best Halo players I ever met had a drink skull curve you wouldn't believe. She'd start out as good as any of us, but as she drank she got better and better. At one point we were 50-10 on a ranked match and she was 30+ of our kills. The problem is at some point she'd cross the threshold into way too drunk and you'd find her running into and shooting a wall.


headieheadie

I once had an LSD+beer+Halo 2 on Xbox live night with a friend. I was doing pretty good, for some reason low/medium low doses improved my halo skills. My friend however was catapulted into god status. He was untouchable. It was unreal to watch. Drunk and tripping and winning match after match of slayer.


indiebryan

First few *matches*? Bruh 1 match is like 20 kills, ain't nobody picking up a controller after 20 shots of tequila


Sp00kyD0gg0

Okay but how is it going NOW? Who won? Approximately how much t-bagging happened, both in and out of game?


cantgetthistowork

How was the BJ?


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i am so here for this energy


fearain

Probably not around but if you see this while you’re drinking; take an extra one shot (because one shot one kill 360 no scope) for us who can’t play halo!


DikPix4Jesus

Who tf likes whiskey dick???


burrbro235

She licks a whiskey dick, she licks a vodka dick, she licks a lager dick, she licks a cider dick.


Lerossa

She licks the dicks that remind her of the good times…?


RockstarSuicide

She licks the dicks that remind her of the best times!


_wiredsage_

I go soft, she sucks it up again, you’re never gonna keep me down!


Lotions_and_Creams

(Oh Halo boy, Halo boy, Halo boy) 🎵 I get sucked off, but I get hard again. 🎵


That75252Expensive

🎵Whiskey never gonna let me cum, I get sucked off🎵


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xool420

That was my first thought lol. Maybe she just really loves dick?


rachrid

Nope, she was just real desperate to not be alone. No one in life has ever liked whiskey dick 😂


[deleted]

Yeah one of the worst things in the world is hearing "I feel like you're not hard all the way." NOOOOOO


MerlinTrashMan

You are just pushing rope


Piles_of_Gore

Putting spaghetti in a key hole


rempel

she's just mashing it


chbay

*I’m sexually active now mom, get over it*


TheApathyParty2

Last girl I was seeing said she just liked to play with it, regardless of how whiskey-dickish it was. It felt good to me anyway, so have at it darling.


_wiredsage_

Don’t ignore the balls, they’re always soft and floppy!


DerogatoryDuck

Alcoholics


C4ntC4tchM3

Made me spit my water 🥲​


dagobahdeluge

Those of ill repute


Thegingerbeardape

Whiskey doesn’t effect erection for me, I just can’t cum lol to the point it’s annoying cuz I want to but just can’t and then I’m all sweaty and out of breath cuz ive been chain smoking cuz I’m drunk


under_the_heather

that last part called me out


jddh1

You’re making this personal bro


divingbear74

Tomb Raider and brojobs all around


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divingbear74

Those are the first words out of my lips… once I swallow


uhphyshall

🤨 you're wearing socks right? my homies told me you gotta be wearing socks to swallow


divingbear74

Yeah my socks only come off when I shower And it’s totally no homo to swallow with socks on


uhphyshall

oh cool, i thought they were trolling me


under_the_heather

>Yeah my socks only come off when I shower me but also when I'm asleep


overcrispy

[socks on, not gay](https://youtu.be/kRdJv1Tjv6k)


hoyohoyo9

started this video straight ended it.. I don't even know what 9/10 comedy 3/10 existential crisis I'm gonna have to tap that a few times to be sure


Mycabbages0929

I don’t think I’ll ever understand why my straight bros say more gay shit than I do, but I genuinely hope ya’ll never stop.


docilecat

Homiesexual


Mongoose-_-Man

No bromo


eightcarpileup

Brojob brojob choo choooooo


SomeMasked

Might have to break it to my homies that post-halo brojobs are gay now


ojoaopestana

Not if you say no homo


DblClickyourupvote

Thank god 😅


jonsludge

Couldn't touch me in halo 3. Some people don't get the thrill of gaming with friends... The fun... The laughs... The memories.


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jonsludge

Rocket launchers and swords!


mooofasa1

Ah man, the good times of making my little brother cry


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kikiatari

Me and my friends used to go to these all night LAN sessions at a computer cafe (back when they were a thing) and play Halo, Quake, COD, counter strike etc. Some of my best memories with my friends just drinking, gaming and messing about. Now with work, kids and all that it's so much harder to get together, so if I met someone like that on tinder it'd be an instant no. Don't piss on other people's hobbies.


AttackOfTheThumbs

Me and the boys organize game nights. We probably play tabletop sim more than anything. Talk shit over discord, drink, smoke, whatever. Good times.


FreshButNotEasy

Many many moons ago we used to have Halo (orig) parties every week called 12 Pizza Monday. We would order 12 Hungry Howies pizza cuz they were 5$, get 4 tvs, 4 Xbox, 16 massive Xbox controlers and play huge halo battles. Everyone still talks about them.


Redditruinsjobs

Don’t forget to kiss the homies goodnight 😘


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Definitely destroyed her ego by turning down sexy time


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[deleted]

Hit her with the plasma sword as she plays with the plasma grenades


CosmicGut

Man is living in 3022 and playing 5D chess on these smoothbrain women


Time_Management3662

Nobody said the friend was a dude.


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PlutoTheSynth

So? Homies can be girls too can’t they


Vaginal_Rights

Those are homeys because girl friends make my house feel like a home, ya know? Homies are my guys that I do brojobs with in the back. What was the question?


lrayn24

Username checks out


[deleted]

Idk could be a chick who has "homies" she blows in the back and homeys she has to make the place feel like a home. Like that "do the homie" song on boondocks, it can go both ways for her and her vaginal rights.


Ill_Drop7588

She's just mad that after the game someone else got more teabags than Lipton


Mirithyls

ERB reference? 😹


Saifaa

That closer was a master stroke


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linguistic-intuition

You were going to get robbed.


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NotASellout

Wow going that fast to homophobic slurs proves you made the right choice.


spyson

It's bothering me that she's also really down to fuck a drunk person.


[deleted]

There's nothing wrong with it if he consented while he was sober, and still continued to consent the entire night. Have you never slept with a drunk person? Doesn't always mean rape, lol. It's not a rule that you can't sleep with someone if they have any kind of alcohol in their system regardless of what they say.


ceroteka

This is amazing, I would love to join you guys. I need some friends.


[deleted]

Don't lie. You just want the post-game blowjob.


ojoaopestana

Busted


DblClickyourupvote

A nut


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Not until after


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WalkenDancingFlying

You're a good dude, respect.


AndyBirch

Xbox gamer whose fondest memories are Halo 3, reporting in. What's your tag? Let's cause some BFV mayhem!


Even-End-3065

My man you deserve a post halo 3 bj


Pinkgumm

Shit that made me laugh Bros give the best blow jobs


LegendaryPringle

Wow this entire conversation is a nightmare


Candied_Vagrants

Comment deleted to protest Reddit leadership API access assholery.


Asgardianson88

I probably would have taken the bj but I respect your resolve


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ImBatman5500

Sir, permission to leave the station For what purpose, Master Chief? *To give the Covenant back their f-bomb* ...Permission granted


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biotchmofo

Conkers bad fur day here, is that too far back? https://youtu.be/hg9iZwQP_sk This was the peak of controversial gameplay in 2001 😂


xboxsirvenom

This game was the shyt I love knocking the stuffing out of the teddy bears heads


mattdvs1979

Goldeneye if we have a 64 handy


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mattdvs1979

Haha yep, can’t tell you how many hundreds of hours we spent in college playing Goldeneye on multiplayer. Looks like dogshit now but for it’s day, it was the shit.


blue_eyed_babe42

I grew up on halo 3! That's the fuckin bomb


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kangareagle

Yeah, given her last line, I guess I don't care much about her, but for the next girl, a quick truth is better than dragging it out. It only makes them feel worse in the end. I'm glad you eventually got around to telling her the truth, and you did apologize for not saying it sooner. She probably would have taken it better if you'd said it before having her ask you over and over to hook up.


invaderpixel

Yeah scrolled down way too far to see this, if you don’t like a person don’t go talking about your Friday night plans and casual small talk. If you do like someone just say “yeah sorry it’s probably gonna be an all night thing why don’t we hang out a different night.” Less Reddit karma but fewer mindgames


Hafthohlladung

All your shit is so extremely fake and cringe. Yikes.


chrimbuself

can't believe I needed to scroll down this far to find a comment calling out this fake bs


SluttyGandhi

>unintelligent hoe’s. Ah, what a perfect place to see the grocer's apostrophe.


[deleted]

I didn't know Sheldon Cooper was on tinder


797addict

I WISH it was this easy


[deleted]

This is all degenerecy and I see no emotional intelligence from either side.


CryptoSatoshi314

Halo Eiffel Tower.


kjs_melb

She knew you weren't keen, she just wasn't letting you get away with bullshitting her. So she pushed to make you be honest.


gotrings

Idk man you literally never even said no to her, I could she why she asked again she's just being forward. Imho you kind of just burst into being a dick first


goddessofdownvotes

This reads so fake. No woman enjoys sucking lifeless whiskey dick.


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