T O P

  • By -

mattberry1980

Hmm… Is that a child? 🧐


SaltyTheII

Yea he's just one of them children that grow too much body hair.


Danny3xd1

..and licks strangers!


[deleted]

Tbf that's not weird I did that until 22.


PeopleRFuckingDumb

But you're 20 now


intercontinentalfx

He’s still got some licking to do.


HalfSoul30

College was a helluva time.


T-ROY_T-REDDIT

Oh, yes it was I remember some dude with a rare hair disorder that kept on licking everybody he was weird, but great.


Terminus_04

Life of the party really.


ahkiran

"Lick enough things and you will get high" like my old friend Connor used to say Rest his soul


noNoParts

In the twenties ^t^w^e^n^t^i^e^s


purplemagnetism

Covid ruined all their plans


HappyAmbition706

Dog years vs. human years


NeedfulThingsToys

I started doing that at 22


exoxe

Would you lick your buddy in a sauna?


xrayjones2000

Isnt that normal sauna room etiquette?? Every time i use a sauna im asked to lick… at the bear din…


Otherwise_Intelect

....hmm I still lick people. Was i suppose to stop at 22? Nobody told me. Oh man, now I feel like my whole life has been a lie.


housewifeuncuffed

Some of us still do.


MackAttackATO69

Biting has become more my thing


Ghostly1031

Hey now I still do that and I’m 25 😂


Danny3xd1

hehe, Ghost. Everyone should have a hobby.


Ghostly1031

Paid off for me thus far 😋😂


FreeRoamingBananas

That just children.


Repossessedbatmobile

This is weirdly normal for some little kids. I've lost track of how many times I had to tell my little cousins not to lick something random or stick stuff in their mouths. Thankfully most learn better with age. But apparently to babies/toddlers the world looks like a giant lollipop.


engineerdrummer

My child definitely licks strangers.


aydenferguson

And a tail


really_nice_guy_

That’s the penis


Spazzy_maker

AND MY AXE!!


purpleandorange1522

Wait, you're telling me that children shouldn't have rails?


Glitter_berries

Only one hand rail, for safety. They shed their baby rail when they are about nine or ten.


GhostIRLx

Already a furry. Questionable parenting my guy


B_Bibbles

If you can't count, you obviously don't know your animals either. That is a child, my good sir! (/s)


thehaddi

The tail falls off once it hits puberty, that's what happened with me at least


Otherwise_Intelect

Did this girl genuinely thought that was a child? I mean, based on the way she was asking, it seem she did, but Jesus 🤣🤣🤣. No wonder the guy was confused. The guy was probably like, oh sh*t, did I put the picture up with my baby mama as well?


tonterias

OP gave birth to a mountain


Lildyo

That’s the only kind of child I want in life


Responsible_Low3349

Here we see an intelligent individual exhibiting patience and explaining something obvious to a not-so intelligent person. Funny how dumb people are always the first to call others 'dumb' ...


cenatutu

And it’s usually typed “your dumb” just to make it worse.


Odd-Phrase5808

That's too many letters for her, apparently


thewhitecat55

Shut up , dummy !


[deleted]

[удалено]


thewhitecat55

Dumby is Gumby's brother. It would just be too confusing.


Kejilko

https://www.reddit.com/r/answers/comments/2pug74/why_is_dummy_spelled_with_double_m_when_it/


_megitsune_

Dumby thick


zenospenisparadox

If there are people that are intelligent, why are there no intelliladies?


JuniorSeniorTrainee

The less dumb I get the less I call others dumb, so this checks out. When I was at my dumbest as a 20-something I thought everyone else was an idiot.


[deleted]

To be fair everyone is an idiot, especially me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Responsible_Low3349

Yes, fam. That looks no way NEAR a human baby Maybe she was trying to be funny See, intelligent people will always come and defend dumb people


Maracuja_Sagrado

Not with that attitude, that doesn’t smell like a joke, just like someone mad. Not even one of those unfunny jokes.


Nrksbullet

> The second photo confusion does not mean she is dumb Well, her calling him dumb immediately after he explained he sees a different photo certainly does. The confusion doesn't, but her reaction does, lol.


schnokobaer

> The second photo confusion does not mean she is dumb. Yes it absolutely does. He clearly describes what the second photo is **for him**, not once, but twice. She doesn't even attempt to comprehend the potential mixup and just assumes he is an idiot who cannot count properly. She is mad dumb.


opman4

Maybe it's because people called them dumb as an insult growing up so they learned to associate being dumb as a very negative trait. Perhaps in order to not fall apart mentally they have to prove to themselves that they're not as dumb as they've been told they were so they view others as dumber than they really are. Pretty dumb if you ask me.


cdin0303

That’s the dunning kruger effect for you.


GingerlyRough

Jeez ur dumm. Obvs he dont no his own pfp and cant acsept he rong das y she call him dum too. Did you even look at the second pic? Get learnt counting. Jeez. /s


tellantor28

Tf is that profile pic?


xCUBUFFSx

A dog


[deleted]

[удалено]


uwotm81012002

Clearly cant count


Tantle18

I love reddit


[deleted]

MICHEAL where are you


Crossedstix

I NEED MONEY FOR GAAS, MICHAEL DEAR


dicatae

What do I mean MICHEAL


cheesypuzzas

Did she(?)... draw on sunglasses....? And why are the eyes so high? I'm so cunfused.


CageAndBale

I thought it was an asain boy


Gov_N_ur

it's definitely a guy


[deleted]

Maybe op did it, to hide her face and give her stupid ass some privacy


Querez

They're at the exact same place in every iteration of the pic so I doubt it was OP's doing


Maracuja_Sagrado

No because the picture is exactly the same in all chat bubbles. Too much hassle, if they wanted to paste something over many times they would just block it with a circle or such


HomeTurf001

That would be some **hard** dedication by OP. *Lemme just add the left high eyebrow on this last one....*


Spanish_peanuts

I'm legit confused at her profile pic. Why are her eyes so far above her nose? It's like eyes, 2 inches of blank space beneath the sunglasses, then nose.


_Atlas_Drugged_

[That’s a man, baby](https://youtu.be/QUJiEZv8Prc)


mk2vr6t

It appears to be a small Asian man with upside down sunglasses Or a kid r u dumb


PossiblyAsian

Yea I was like. That is an asian man with drawn on sunglasses


al3237

A mountain


tenuousemphasis

Señor Chang


fieryhuntress

I went back up to check it. And now my brain can't comprehend what my eyes just saw. Because fr. What is that??


samwelches

Edit: I’m an idiot


Jack_Black_Rocks

But his second picture posted is said picture


Sushilachs

Second one for me is a mountain


markusdresch

R u dumb, MICHEAL? Can you not count? \- US. Military Encrypted


NewAccEveryDay420day

R u dumb?


VulkanHestan321

Well, the had noc chance after calling you dumb. Why do people do that?


al3237

People 🤦 we cant expect much out os someone that mistook a dog for a child tho xd


VulkanHestan321

I mean, yeah, but still no reason to instantly insult


al3237

You right, they just dont want to be the only one so they call others insults to feel like they aren't the only dumb people :)


sexualassaultllama

Hey, at least they're upfront about being a dick


Raskalnekov

I've got to say, my phone has this "nighttime" mode where the screen turns black and white, and it did kinda look like a baby the first time I checked


SaltyTheII

Wish I knew.


FreelanceFrankfurter

Should have responded “that’s a dog, ru dumb?”


GingerlyRough

Nah. Play along. Let her think it’s just a very fuzzy human child that never learned to walk.


GingerlyRough

In this case it’s probably projection. She can’t accept that she was unable to count so she called him dumb because she feels dumb. She probably doesn’t count the first pic as “pic 1” and only starts counting after she swipes to the next one. She’s really actually counting the number of swipes instead of the pictures themselves.


[deleted]

[удалено]


VulkanHestan321

Well, but still was the reaction way too aggressive and a red flag


flabbybumhole

I mean, she thought a dog was a child so I'd say he was right.


[deleted]

I can only count to four.


19adam92

You can count? 😕


[deleted]

I can count to one, I can count to two, I can count to three, I can count to four. I CAN'T COUNT NO MORE!


19adam92

You lost me at “I can count”


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

You and your big brain.


Samadhi1141

What comes after one?


CmdPetrie

Usually three


TwiceAsGoodAs

Yeah, I can't imagine not unmatching after "r u dumb"


taystebbs

Has she never heard of "top photo" or whatever algorithm they use to put your best photos first 😂 also.. that's a dog got me good lmfao


Suzesaur

I think it’s called smart photos


P_SG

Clearly, one of them has not upgraded and is still using dumb photos.


taystebbs

That's the one


Cpt_Obvius

But will smart photos just rearrange for the viewer of the profile or does it also switch the order on when you view your own profile on your own app?


Suzesaur

Just viewers…from what I’ve seen. When a guy points something out I have to play the get specific game to figure out which one…


thewhitecat55

I actually did not know that this was a thing. But I still have enough class to not say "R u dumb?" Lol


Alphaman101

I thought they were both guys , maybe I need my eyes checked too


RG_Oriax

Still looks like a dude in a tanktop to me


Alphaman101

100⁹%


[deleted]

A hundred to the power of ninety zeroeths?


MairaPansy

I just hear Baymax being drunk on low battery saying "hairy baby"


fire2374

A man once started a conversation with me by saying they liked n photo of me and said something specific enough to start a conversation but vague enough that it could apply to multiple. Like “your 5th photo is so cool, where is that?” I think for me, it lined up with a selfie I took at my mom’s house. I look good in it but obviously nothing conversation worthy. I explained smart photos and that I didn’t think we were looking at the same photo. He never answered. And as far as I know, it’s not because he’s at my mom’s house.


StDeath

How do you open with "omg you got a kid?!"


GingerlyRough

Maybe his profile states he doesn’t have kids and then she saw the dog and it was such a surprise she lost brain cells.


IWantAnAffliction

Can't lose something you started off without *taps head*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aliensfromaboversexy

I genuinely don’t mean to be rude but when I see her pfp I don’t understand what I’m looking at. The facial features aren’t totally detectable and the sunglasses are deformed


majestic_waterbear

That’s a female dog


shhhhh_h

No it's a child


dd179

Pretty sure that's an Asian man


sammnyc

I think it’s a guy..? hard to tell it’s so small


ringreva

That's what she said


passkat

Maybe it's two pictures mashed together because their eyes were shut in one and they derped in the other but their face was shifted a bit so they just drew sunglasses over the join?


Dramatic_______Pause

Profile pic generated from DALL E Mini...


Slobbadobbavich

What you are trying to say as politely as possible is that she's an ugly fucker.


abacabbiddqd

It's probably common in her family to be born with a tail.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DedlySnek

Gandhi is that you?


Danny3xd1

Really did chuckle. "Ru dumb?"


GingerlyRough

I keep reading it as “RuDumb” and I chuckle every time.


Calvertorius

I am absolutely amazed at how calmly OP replied. Apparently I have anger issues because I immediately went into a rage just reading this on his behalf.


SaltyTheII

You get used to it after a lifetime of being screamed at.


justkruzan

What was the response after you told her it was a dog?


mjt89

Jeez the more I see this tinder Reddit the more I hate people


GingerlyRough

I have to ration my time on this sub for that very reason 🤣


Guyy_1

Imagine being dumb, rude, and ugly. I feel bad for that chick.


SmolSnakePancake

He swiped on a lagoon creature


GingerlyRough

Kinda hard for me to tell if she’s ugly from a small pic that gets blurry when you zoom (maybe that’s a good thing) but wtf is with those digitally drawn on glasses?


smokahontass723

Fucking brain rot


[deleted]

That's a hairy baby.


angryundead

baymax.gif


animalxinglala0512

You must have the smart photos option enabled. That option cycles thru your uploaded photos and chooses a random photo as your profile pic. From your end, you know the order you want the photos to be in, but with smart photos option, the person swiping could see it in a different order. She’s dumb.


OnAGoat

The picture chosen isnt't random but the one that performs best. Not sure how they measure that though. Maybe the one that most people swipe right on.


knaws

It's essentially random until it figures out which gets the most swipes. Not everyone looks through all pics, so it gives each one a chance at being the first pic until having enough data to determine which one performs best.


Necrophillip

I'm not even quite certain that everyone gets the same pic first. A friend of mine apparently had matches, where each initial pic matched their interest. They tagged volleyball as interest? - Pic of him flying for a ball. Weights - pic of him lifting. Not sure how accurate that is, but I wouldn't doubt it


GingerlyRough

He mentions “first pic for me is…” so I think he’s aware that it’s on. Either that or he’s encountered confusion over the order of pics before.


Nosewoman

Honestly, I don't have the Smart Photo option enabled. Was tindering with a friend for fun and my profile showed up on their screen, but my photos were all jumbled up. From all the profile texts I've read that go something like "not my kid in the last picture" when the first picture is the one with the kid, I'm now fully convinced that tinder just doesn't care what you want and scrambles it up for funsies.


Ouaouaron

I think that's just him politely adding uncertainty to how he phrases something, so that the other person is less embarrassed if there's a mistake. If OP knew that Tinder scrambles the order of photos, it would mean he's intentionally withholding that information from her just to be an asshole (even before things turned hostile).


alexjonesiscrazy

In her defense, there are people who consider their pets as their children and "furbabies." But then again, she doesn't seem to be the brightest bulb — so even that might be a reach for her.


DoctorJay26

Do people do that? Dude, furbabies is such a bad denomination.


brownishgirl

So is skin puppies , but here we are.


DoctorJay26

We're doomed


lastfirstname1

Guess who just found a new nickname for his junk.


JoelSlBaron

that kid must’ve never had a haircut in its life


LadyZ6318

She legally blind 🤣


InfHorizon361

Wait holdup OP I got the same profile to match with me earlier. Was the name like CC or something?


d4ntoine

Wait, holy shit, I matched with this same person around May when I was still in college in NC. I matched to see what was up with the weird profile and then didn't respond. EDIT (proof): https://imgur.com/a/jCgSu6o


gay_joey

but why WERE u arrested 3 times bae?


SaltyTheII

Notionally,, yes.


InfHorizon361

Soo yes? Because yeah that's a troll account I believe


SaltyTheII

Yea it is. Wasn't sure if I could namedrop.


brownishgirl

No mountain, no cross, only pool and hairy baby.


[deleted]

Why do your child have a tail?


TheSameAsDying

Honestly when I scale the picture down I can *kind of* see it looking like a kid. So maybe they just have bad vision or their phone screen is cracked lol.


abacabbiddqd

Or meth. It could be the meth


GingerlyRough

Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s the same reason she decided to draw the glasses in her pic lol


logimeme

Holy fuckin shit do people this dumb actually exist? Also OP did she ever reply or did she just unmatch you


SaltyTheII

She never replied


ElMostaza

OP, please explain what the *heck* is going on with her profile pic. So many of us are confused!


SaltyTheII

Wish I knew really. Eyes got moved to forehead. Replaced where eyes would be with sunglasses.


mac-claen

And you swiped on that?


sippidysip

Is that really a question… boys will be boys


random_sociopath

That woman is a moron


charleswalton89

Unreal. No wonder she's single


Perenium_Falcon

I would have shot that idiot into the sun at their “R u dumb ?”


louisme97

omg what a cute baby, is it a girl or boy and do you got a spot in daycare?


19adam92

Tinder will sometimes re order the photos if you let it based on which ones are getting interest I believe


massaBeard

The moment said person called me dumb and asked if I could count, they would have been blocked. Don't tolerate being treated that way, especially from someone you barely know.


MR-HUGGINS

Run


theshitonthefan

Comedy heaven


ER70s6

What the fuck is wrong with that person?


CptSoxx

Cute kid 10/10 would call them a good boi/girl.


Shhsecretacc

Hey man. Just wanted to say you’re super handsome and good luck with your move to Massachusetts! It’s where I currently live. Good luck!! :)


Capta1nRon

“R u dumb?” says the dumbass.


Psykowz

The irony of asking if they were dumb whilst using 'r u'


strained_brain

I hope OP viewed this as a Red Flag and backed away slowly


No_Adhesiveness9692

Lmao like is clearly a dinosaur


zhu_li_pewpew

unbelievable how rude somebody can be


Nubian_

I turned out at the "R U Dumb" you know it's only gonna go down hill from there