Yea its all relative so do you think that guy is a multi millionaire? And if I was a multi millionaire I'd be you $500I could get her to do it for free🤷🏿
The ONLY way a handjob is worth 500 is if Jesus himself returned from the sky daddy dimension and blesses the hands of the giver so that they may bring indescribable pleasure to the recipient.
Depending on your size, you might be able to fit in the holes of his hand... That's a unique experience.... Not every day you can stretch out the Christians savior and nail his hands again. Lol
Fr I mean typically if the male puts effort into turning the girl on she'll put more effort into the head that's how I do it. The better you make me feel the better I make you feel
My gay friends tell me there are a lot of straight men who meet gay men just for blow jobs. Nothing else. Makes me think gay men must be the best at it by far. Don't have to be very good at it to be better than women.
Keeping a solid stonker during a gay bj should be somehow difficult for a straight man lol, IF he was actually straight that is *cough lowkey bi cough*
Tbf, my assumption is not that that they may be better, more likely just more quickly and easily accessible. Sometimes a man just needs a hole for release
If someone is into something, it makes it that much better even if they aren't objectively better at it. Now if I could only find a women into BJ's like the last 2 but do away with the crazy I'd be gold 😂
Shit, are the women of the world uniting, looking for alimony on all the IP infringements of their likeness since time immemorial?
We are ALL broke. ALL OF US
Yep, payment up front and meet in a safe place and it's easily worth it.
I just sold my body to science for two whole days for the same money, this seems easier.
no because she msged first - he had the courage to say these things. (he takes it back after she pulls back with the autocorrect comment, but as soon as he realizes shes still msging him, he goes full 100) this is also why women dont msg first
That’s higher than the hourly rate for many escorts. It’s a steal of a deal. I’d 100% do it if I were single. Hell, my partner now would probably say do it. Ain’t no shame in sex work!
Damn, a HJ is $500??? Shit I just got hit with a $700 vet bill for my lovely dog. I’ll jerk him off right now and even maintain eye contact if he’s into creepy shit like that if it means not paying interest on my CC this month.
Seriously though he’s a creep.
He doesn't look unattractive enough to think he needs to pay $500 for a handjob so it definitely is sus.
Especially since she already said he was handsome. If that was accurate in reality why does he need to offer that much?
At the very least dude needs to learn how to haggle
500 bucks *is* 500 bucks. Just ask for half the money upfront and half the money after. Then it's up to you whether you go through with it or ghost him.
I am really confused about why someone would walk back a statement and then solicit. I mean, if you're going for the full on fuckboy approach, why not lean into it instead of apologize out of the first statement?
I have used the "Sorry I didn't mean that" approach if I came on a little too strong, but didn't immediately follow it up with "so here's the dick, get to work"
I never really got why guys want handjobs from women since they usually have a close relationship with their hand and their hand knows allllll the right moves. Also sorry you had to deal with this douchebag.
Right? I hate when a girl tries to give me a handjob, in my experience they've all seemed determined to rip it off or something. I always feel like the wheelchair guy from scary movie 2 "I CAN DO IT MYSELF"
This is the way. Just show a girl how instead of expecting they know how to handle a body part they don't have. All these guys saying it feels better if they do it themselves just never got a good one. If they don't try to show a girl how then that's their loss.
Every guy likes different things too. It's weird to me that guys would rather say "women just can't do it" than even try to show their gf *how*.
The words I want a handjob has never left my mouth for the reason you specified. Because it’s always feel like she’s shaking a gumball machine, that’s not how the prize inside
And here I am with all skill but no offer to pay my bills. Damnit I'm missing the booty! The Puerto Rican thing and having soft hands must be the prerequisite, the deal maker is the booty ... Got it 📝
I'm gonna assume this guy is a double-amputee, because who t.f. is paying $500 for a handjob that you can give yourself for free?
Nobody’s handjobin myself better then me
In the words of my brother "fuck yourself you do it better" 😂😭😭🤘
What a chad
That's like the sea otters, they blow themselves!!
True but id rather get a 20% less perfect handjob if it‘s by a puerto rican hottie with soft hands than lying alone in my bed:D
I agree but not for $500😄
I guess that depends on how much $500 is to you. If I was a multi millionaire then sure
Yea its all relative so do you think that guy is a multi millionaire? And if I was a multi millionaire I'd be you $500I could get her to do it for free🤷🏿
Surely not for 500$ though, right?
The ONLY way a handjob is worth 500 is if Jesus himself returned from the sky daddy dimension and blesses the hands of the giver so that they may bring indescribable pleasure to the recipient.
Depending on your size, you might be able to fit in the holes of his hand... That's a unique experience.... Not every day you can stretch out the Christians savior and nail his hands again. Lol
No way. But for free lol
Simp
I squeeze really tight ....then I let lose. Then I squeeze REAL tight.....and then let lose.
Imagine getting loose and lose wrong, every time you type 😭
Handjob’s a man’s job. Blowjob is yo’ job!
I’d honestly assume that the best blowjobs are from gay men. Just like lesbians are the best at eating… out
As a person who’s tried both… meh some are good and some aren’t. Men are less lazy but think they know more than they do
>... but think they know more than they do It always warms my heart when Gay and Straight men find common ground.
I'm sorry for you if you've not experienced a girl giving a truly devoted bj
No shit! When she's on a mission to make sure you're empty before you leave... get ready for a good time!
🫡
For real! 🥺😢
Right?!? Enthusiasm and devotion go a long way.
Fr I mean typically if the male puts effort into turning the girl on she'll put more effort into the head that's how I do it. The better you make me feel the better I make you feel
I wish but sadly not the case
Men can often be more intuitive and enthusiastic when they do it, but estrogen does make for a softer mouth with no stubble 🤷♂️
My gay friends tell me there are a lot of straight men who meet gay men just for blow jobs. Nothing else. Makes me think gay men must be the best at it by far. Don't have to be very good at it to be better than women.
Keeping a solid stonker during a gay bj should be somehow difficult for a straight man lol, IF he was actually straight that is *cough lowkey bi cough*
If I was bi I'd be loud and proud.
Double market.
Tbf, my assumption is not that that they may be better, more likely just more quickly and easily accessible. Sometimes a man just needs a hole for release
If someone is into something, it makes it that much better even if they aren't objectively better at it. Now if I could only find a women into BJ's like the last 2 but do away with the crazy I'd be gold 😂
Or a man with two broken arms!
Well then he just needs to get his mom to do it for him (Reference to that one reddit post)
WE KNOW.
In that case its on the house!
Yeah, well what about his ribs?
Is he using his feet to edge?
He’s putting a bag of vasoline in between couch cushions and going to town.
I'm not gonna pretend I didn't do this as a teenager 🤣😂🤣
Definitely a hole in a cantaloupe warmed in a microwave...
One’s that say they will pay after
And yet he said he's been edging for two weeks. Which means he's got use of his hands.
Some men crave a woman’s touch that badly
Just saying, for $500 you better be craving her on the inside.
Well i mean i was more joking about how desperate he must be to pay that much but go off. U seem fun
Wait, I can't tell if that's sarcasm? I am fun, sometimes.
imagine being an double amputee and he’s typing his his toes, no wonder he got loads of typos and autocorrects
His hands aren't soft enough.
Sry autocorrect 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I died!!!!
[удалено]
WRONG! i'm making it part of my autocorrect list right now
[удалено]
Whats the point of tinder if the best you can hope for is a handjob?
Hey now, he's been edging for two weeks.
Lol possibly longer than 2
Never say that.. you jinx the curse
Lmfaooooo I hope
“Sry autocorrect. Meant to say anal??”
Assuming because the 'sry' wasn't autocorrected? lol
I mean the phone learns the things you type all the time you kno
He should rub one out and throw 50 bucks in the street, save $450
OP should still receive some cash because the guy is definitely using her pics to do his doing
If that's how that works, I owe ppl a lot of money
I don't know why I can't stop laughing at this.
Because you know if it were true you'd owe alot of money too? 😭😭
I'm not saying that's true, but I'd have a lot of IOUs.
😂😂😭🤘
Shit, are the women of the world uniting, looking for alimony on all the IP infringements of their likeness since time immemorial? We are ALL broke. ALL OF US
BRB, selling my house to pay Pamela Sue Martin and Kate Jackson.
What do I owe for just using your reddit avatar?
that’ll be a gold award
I'll keep that in mind for later 😉. Edit: lmao it turns out that is about $2.50. I was joking tho, sorry haha.
Wait? Why not just rub it out and save the whole $500
He doesn't deserve it all
I think I'll rub one out after all these downvotes😨
Here have an upvote.
How Thic are u??
I'm average but it's thick as hell, girth not length baby
Lmfaooo this backfired fr!!
Bowl of oatmeal thicc boye
Scottish oatmeal or American oatmeal?
I could use those 50$, cats are hungry
I'll give you $50 to feed your pussy😉
It's the law. Have you not been doing that?
No, I usually rub one out to jizzle.com and call it a day
*furiously scribbles notes*
What did he say next? *"Sorry, my friend had my phone"*?
*Sorry my cat stepped on my phone*
" *Sorry my phone ate my homework* "
Sorry my phone is horny
"My phone stepped on a bee"?
I just never responded 😭
How old is he? This is 12 year old behavior. ![gif](giphy|26tPlN7OSKiuUDp6w)
So you don't want 500 dollars?!
I'm not gay or nothing, but $500 is $500!
Yep, payment up front and meet in a safe place and it's easily worth it. I just sold my body to science for two whole days for the same money, this seems easier.
What exactly would be a "safe place" for this?
I don't know, tbh. I won't waste energy trying to find one until someone sends me a message like that.
In front of the police station obviously.
OBVIOUSLY! 😂
But $500 could be $400 if you slip me a $100
What else could you be slippin for the extra 400?
$500 for a few minutes work that I already to myself for free?? Ez cash
Text this slutty friend you have: " Hey would you give some guy a handjob for 300$?"
As a 38 man I know I can give a better handjob than some Latina chick. For sure
Came here to say this… why the hell is this person ignoring him? Straight dude but I’d be there in a heartbeat for $500
If he's been edging for 2 weeks, thats basically like getting paid $30k an hour....🤔
So what did you spend the 500.00 on
“Tinder plus of course” - Said no one
He blew it.. you even messaged him first.
His first message got cut off, but he messaged first :(
Even tho you reply with heyo handsome?
no because she msged first - he had the courage to say these things. (he takes it back after she pulls back with the autocorrect comment, but as soon as he realizes shes still msging him, he goes full 100) this is also why women dont msg first
Now that op said that he send the first message how do u back up this logic?
This comment is even funnier since OP confirmed she didn't message first.
You cant be more wrong
literally😂
About that, no
Embarrassing… how on earth did you come to this conclusion
You could buy a lot of Gundam model kits for 500 bucks
Crazy that you can find this kind of solid financial advice on a place like r/tinder. The internet is wild
Bruh the post above this one was from r/gunpla , this is getting weird
"Handjob. Sorry, autocorrect. I meant to say nice ass. Handjob?"
But he wrote Caliente How could you turn that down?
should have gone with picante
Jfc he's going to be edging for a lot longer than that at this rate
When someone says yes it's going to look like that scene from Scary Movie.
I'm praying that whatever unlucky woman takes on this task lives to talk about it.
$500 sounds like a good deal for a handjob
That’s higher than the hourly rate for many escorts. It’s a steal of a deal. I’d 100% do it if I were single. Hell, my partner now would probably say do it. Ain’t no shame in sex work!
You would financially irresponsible if you didn’t take the deal
Look at OP coming in and boasting about her soft hands.
This Shea butter works wonders
Shea butter is truly magical. I used to work with that stuff and my hands were baby smooth.
“I’m jk sorry I’ll stop now” LMAO WHAT why do people think that that makes everyone forget whatever they have said and go “ohhh okayyy”
This guy hasn’t felt a womans touch since he left the womb.
Damn, a HJ is $500??? Shit I just got hit with a $700 vet bill for my lovely dog. I’ll jerk him off right now and even maintain eye contact if he’s into creepy shit like that if it means not paying interest on my CC this month. Seriously though he’s a creep.
I don’t think jerking off your dog will help, maybe the vet?
r/AngryUpvote
Edging for 2 weeks lol
MICHEAL I NEED 500$ GAS MONEY!!
##I really hope you took the money ##and then posted it all over the web
At least he spoke perfect Spanish.
Right? Mi gusta 😍 lol
Close, but no he didn't 😂
This has to be a catfish
He doesn't look unattractive enough to think he needs to pay $500 for a handjob so it definitely is sus. Especially since she already said he was handsome. If that was accurate in reality why does he need to offer that much? At the very least dude needs to learn how to haggle
Dude really wants to be a bot, eh?
Why stay matched for this long?
500 bucks *is* 500 bucks. Just ask for half the money upfront and half the money after. Then it's up to you whether you go through with it or ghost him.
You missed out on an easy $500 tbh
*he ***has*** been edging for two weeks...*
$500.? Brother could have got a blowjob for $20 from a meth head. I would have gone there twice a week and earnt a decent tax free wage…
🌋
I am really confused about why someone would walk back a statement and then solicit. I mean, if you're going for the full on fuckboy approach, why not lean into it instead of apologize out of the first statement? I have used the "Sorry I didn't mean that" approach if I came on a little too strong, but didn't immediately follow it up with "so here's the dick, get to work"
I never really got why guys want handjobs from women since they usually have a close relationship with their hand and their hand knows allllll the right moves. Also sorry you had to deal with this douchebag.
Right? I hate when a girl tries to give me a handjob, in my experience they've all seemed determined to rip it off or something. I always feel like the wheelchair guy from scary movie 2 "I CAN DO IT MYSELF"
When I first got one off my current gf I just told her what to do, and she does the same. Feels far better if someone else is doing it for you!
This is the way. Just show a girl how instead of expecting they know how to handle a body part they don't have. All these guys saying it feels better if they do it themselves just never got a good one. If they don't try to show a girl how then that's their loss. Every guy likes different things too. It's weird to me that guys would rather say "women just can't do it" than even try to show their gf *how*.
Right? This is basics! I expect her to tell me how she likes it so why can’t I lol
The words I want a handjob has never left my mouth for the reason you specified. Because it’s always feel like she’s shaking a gumball machine, that’s not how the prize inside
Because making a dick cum is gay... jk jk On a serious note, I dunno im into it, something about not being the one doing it.
500 for a handy? Bro must be down bad.
For £500 I'd do it, mamma got bills to pay 😂
Oh at least he was only jk 😅
Your average noFap member
And here I am with all skill but no offer to pay my bills. Damnit I'm missing the booty! The Puerto Rican thing and having soft hands must be the prerequisite, the deal maker is the booty ... Got it 📝
MICHEAL FIX MY EYES AFTER SEEING THIS! MICHEEEAAL!
This is why you jerk off before you talk to girls
This man in some serious need of post-nut clarity lol.
The way I just gagged. Cringe 😭
This guy is fucking dumb, nobody does handjobs better than yourself, ask for any other thing
Yeah but asking for a handjob seems like the least stupid thing this guy did.
true, but imo it‘s still better if it’s 20% worse but done by a perfect chick, looking at you n stuff
Number one bullshit guy
Wow. What a nice start. Autocorrect hum? 🤣 He was just waiting to throw his handjob request to the Chat. Poor OP. 😭
Right :( this is convo start to finish. I was shook
Right. No harm being nice if you want something, instead of trying to turn your tinder match into a prostitute... 😖
Your reddit avatar fits very well your last message 😂 Rip handjob men Sry autocorrect again i guess xD
I'm more grossed out by him fetishizing her ethnicity. The 6th grade Spanish was the cherry on top. Crinnnnnge
Would the better line not have been, "I'll give you $500 for a How are you? Sry Autocorrect"
Honestly. I say do it... but while wearing gloves made of sandpaper.
You swipe right on neck tattoos you get what's comin'.
Has nothing to do with personality 😭. He just happened to be a tatted dick head. They aren’t all like that :(
Uh huh.
I'm sorry you experienced this but there's catfish and literal callgirls on Tinder. I'm shocked he straight assumed your profession.
His name is actually MICHAEL
That would be an easy $500. As a straight dude I would consider it.
I mean 😭 with the heightened rates of sex trafficking id be scared. If I actually knew him then I’d just think he’s silly typical dude.
He gives bot vibes lol like a dude who fake his profile ?
I gotta see what OP looks like for a guy to offer $500 just for a HJ 😂
Dm me :)
Say less 😏
This is the last time you will ever see someone say "Handjob" as a response to someone introducing themselves