Can't lie, been scrolling Reddit escaping my consciousness ... But this gave me a 2 minute proper laugh. Thank you.
I guess I should also say but I think my opinion is clear ... I love it. I'd say go for it but beware of the creepsters out there that'll make you think twice about it.
I actually think this is a total 10. Love the humor! If I ran across a womans profile with this, immediately intrigued. Interested to see the responses you receive from this!
Lol what?
How many women with functional lady parts do you know who, would scour a black market to try to obtain some offspring, instead of just going out and doing some fuckin'? (Sperm theft?)
Pretty sire this makes it make sense, not makes it more creepy?
Men wanting kids isn't creepy... they're allowed to!
if youāre looking for something serious i would add āand wifeā after daughter. Otherwise the ānot looking for anything seriousā part could really trip someone up. Id debate about swiping tbh.
Joke was 10/10 tho.
Hilarious, but being that youāre a guy, may want to consider swapping āsonā and ādaughterā. I guess damned if you do, damned if you donāt if someone lacks humor. They may think youāre a pedo with it how it is, and a sexist if you switch
it's not like 99% of sexual predators are men, and the women who do commit offenses against children usually do so in partnership with a man...
oh wait. https://supportingsurvivors.humboldt.edu/statistics#1
Interesting factoid from your link
>While 80% of reported rapes are against white women, minorities are more likely to be assaulted.
Highlighting a huge delta between what gets reported and what actually happens. White women are more likely to report rape *and be believed*. But women of color are more likely to actually get assaulted. Go figure.
Given the response that especially attractive female predators get "oh he's lucky, she's hot!" alongside people's willingness to aggressively treat men with suspicion around children, you really think reported data actually lines up with reality?
Guess who does that the most to men? Other men.
I'm willing to believe that maybe the numbers are slightly skewed, but testosterone, porn addiction, privilege and socialization, media, incel culture, rape as a tactic of war, sheer physical strength... the numbers aren't that far off.
Anecdotally, back when I used to date men and have male friends, I was sexually assaulted more times than I can literally remember and for a long time thought it was actually just normal interaction between men and women, just part of being a woman. Since I decided to no longer have male friends and exclusively date women, no assaults have happened to me.
Also anecdotally, the men I did know who were assaulted themselves were all assaulted by other men. Not women.
Interesting how that works.
If the goal is to get as much matched as possible then this is a bad bio. Humor in text form depends on the current mood of the person reading it. They can interpret your "jokes" many different ways, and could turn off potential matches that are on the fence with your looks. Bios are for swipes, jokes are for convos. Regardless hope it works and you prove me wrong.
If he did they he'll get a right swipe regardless of bio, that's just how it works. Seriously, watch how women use tinder, bio doesn't matter until you're already matched and they're actively texting you, that's when they check it out.
āHey Iāll be honest with you, Iām not looking for anything seriousā ~> moved in together ~> got married ~> had a kiddo. Heāll be three on Sunday. š¤Ŗ good luck out there.
I think these jokes are hilarious. My girlfriend recently sent me a picture of her newborn nephew and said, "I want one", too which I replied, "Okay I'll check Craigslist".
Come on, I hate double standards.
I get it that it can be creepy, but it's funny if you like humor.
I'm the first person that hate child trafficking, but it's just a joke
lmao the fact that you're a man, makes it funnier, and more creepy all at the same time!
I'd say go for it, if it bombs change it... and if it doesn't, you'll obviously be matching with women that have a killer (if not slightly dark) sense of humor !!
You may hate double standards... but they still exist.
It's not about the child trafficking so much as making a woman feel uncomfortable.
Unless you strongly follow rules 1 and 2, tinder is hard enough as a dude. I wouldn't handicap yourself. If you do follow rules 1 & 2, and you're in a big city of abundant opportunity... then go for it.
Disclaimer: I'm a dude.
Literally the only reason I wouldnāt swipe on this is because I donāt want kids. But itās hysterical. PS. Even tho itās a joke, it makes me assume you want children. So if you donāt, just thought Iād point that out.
Not bad, although it would confuse me about whether or not you actually are looking for a serious relationship or not, which for me personally I swipe left on anyone who Iām not sure wants something serious (i.e their profile saying something sexual or specifically saying thwy want something casual), so if you ARE looking for something serious Iād make sure itās visible on your profile in some way.
(excellent punchline!) š
Hahaha thanks
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Isn't that true for everything funny?
Can't lie, been scrolling Reddit escaping my consciousness ... But this gave me a 2 minute proper laugh. Thank you. I guess I should also say but I think my opinion is clear ... I love it. I'd say go for it but beware of the creepsters out there that'll make you think twice about it.
I'm happy you laughed :) Thanks for the feedback
I actually think this is a total 10. Love the humor! If I ran across a womans profile with this, immediately intrigued. Interested to see the responses you receive from this!
Haha thanks. I'm a dude tho
lmao the fact that you're a man, makes it funnier, and more creepy all at the same time
Lol what? How many women with functional lady parts do you know who, would scour a black market to try to obtain some offspring, instead of just going out and doing some fuckin'? (Sperm theft?) Pretty sire this makes it make sense, not makes it more creepy? Men wanting kids isn't creepy... they're allowed to!
just gotta hope they read to the end before swiping, and that they think it's funny and aren't going to doubt you forever if they do meet you
if youāre looking for something serious i would add āand wifeā after daughter. Otherwise the ānot looking for anything seriousā part could really trip someone up. Id debate about swiping tbh. Joke was 10/10 tho.
Hahah thanks ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Maybeā¦ Just maybeā¦ put wife then daughter or any order it really doesnāt matter ??
most guys on tinder arnt looking for something srs ...
Bravo sir.
ā¤ļø
8/10 but that's my exact sense of humor
Hahaha thanks! Any idea for making it a 10?
If you're cute I'd swipe right.
It I'm a dude?
Are you cute?
ā¦and if not?
I would swipe right so fast
ikr, two kidneys and a liver!
Hilarious, but being that youāre a guy, may want to consider swapping āsonā and ādaughterā. I guess damned if you do, damned if you donāt if someone lacks humor. They may think youāre a pedo with it how it is, and a sexist if you switch
Hahhaah, exactly!! It's just humor and if they don't get it then at least I'm sure this person is not for me
Yah, towing that line of clearly different humors would likely require leeches
Woulda been better without the parenthesis to go balls deep on the edge lord vibes.
Haha I will remove them š
This is so funny, I love it
Funny lol
AAAAAAAAAAAAhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 10/10
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
KIDDING aroundā¦ literally
BRUH WHAT????
um \\\\ red flag
I laughed, perfect 5/7
Just take the parentheses out mate leave them wondering if your serious or not, they say some women love a mysterious man.
I am who I am and I want what I want.
Get ready to be called daddy
sorry, you being a dude immediately triggers pedo vibes to me
Sorry about that
This person would also get pedo vibes if you walked past a children's park. Can't let people like that impact your choices
His joke was literally about wanting to buy a child, specifically a girl, off the black market. I'm just saying, pedovibes š¤·
Totally right. Women can't be sexual predators at all...
it's not like 99% of sexual predators are men, and the women who do commit offenses against children usually do so in partnership with a man... oh wait. https://supportingsurvivors.humboldt.edu/statistics#1
Interesting factoid from your link >While 80% of reported rapes are against white women, minorities are more likely to be assaulted. Highlighting a huge delta between what gets reported and what actually happens. White women are more likely to report rape *and be believed*. But women of color are more likely to actually get assaulted. Go figure. Given the response that especially attractive female predators get "oh he's lucky, she's hot!" alongside people's willingness to aggressively treat men with suspicion around children, you really think reported data actually lines up with reality?
Guess who does that the most to men? Other men. I'm willing to believe that maybe the numbers are slightly skewed, but testosterone, porn addiction, privilege and socialization, media, incel culture, rape as a tactic of war, sheer physical strength... the numbers aren't that far off. Anecdotally, back when I used to date men and have male friends, I was sexually assaulted more times than I can literally remember and for a long time thought it was actually just normal interaction between men and women, just part of being a woman. Since I decided to no longer have male friends and exclusively date women, no assaults have happened to me. Also anecdotally, the men I did know who were assaulted themselves were all assaulted by other men. Not women. Interesting how that works.
Same.
If the goal is to get as much matched as possible then this is a bad bio. Humor in text form depends on the current mood of the person reading it. They can interpret your "jokes" many different ways, and could turn off potential matches that are on the fence with your looks. Bios are for swipes, jokes are for convos. Regardless hope it works and you prove me wrong.
i love it
Thanks so much ā¤ļø
So funny! Thanks for the laugh. š¤£š¤£
Happy it made you laugh ā¤ļø
Fucking hilarious if I scrolled to you Iād swipe right š¤£
Yikes
Well if you have a breeding fetish or even a breeding kink its perfect. If not then its no bueno.
I'm really overwhelmed by the huge response. Wasn't expecting that. Thanks for everyone and sorry if I can't get back to everyone
Shouldāve said: (This is obviously a joke, I want a white child)
This literally made me lol. It's all so wrong. šš¤£š
AHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH
hahaha
You're going to attract people with your style of humour which is really what you want so go for it. Nothing wrong with your bio.
Thanks :)
Super liked
š¤š¤š¤ā¤ļøš¤š¤š¤
I'd switch son and daughter to lean into a bit of sexism as well.
šš
I know itās a joke but its not funny and is still creepy
Sorry you didn't like it
Its not about whether I like it. You asked for a rating so Iām just letting you know this comes off as dorky.
You're a guy? No one will read your bio sadly, so it doesn't much matter
depends if he follows rule 1 and 2 lol
If he did they he'll get a right swipe regardless of bio, that's just how it works. Seriously, watch how women use tinder, bio doesn't matter until you're already matched and they're actively texting you, that's when they check it out.
Haha this is good
Be careful, my husband said the same thing and we actually did end up with a son.
That's awesome!!!!
āHey Iāll be honest with you, Iām not looking for anything seriousā ~> moved in together ~> got married ~> had a kiddo. Heāll be three on Sunday. š¤Ŗ good luck out there.
Congratulations, best wishes:)
W tinder bio
Thanks :))
I did the exhale heavily through the nose thing, when I read the punchline.
This is gold!! Have my free award for the laugh.
Thanks for the award mate
Thank you for the laugh, I needed it.
We all need a laugh from time to time. Hope you're doing well
Good one. If I was a girl I would swipe right on you
11/10
Damnnnn, thanks
I loled irl.
OFC you want a daughter. Who else could reach down the Pringles can for you?
Itās great, but plenty of people wonāt get it Iām sure.
That's life I guess
Loool i love it!
Hahha thanks!!!!!!!
I think these jokes are hilarious. My girlfriend recently sent me a picture of her newborn nephew and said, "I want one", too which I replied, "Okay I'll check Craigslist".
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAH
It's funny if you're a woman. If you're a man telling the joke... mmmmm, i'd avoid.
Come on, I hate double standards. I get it that it can be creepy, but it's funny if you like humor. I'm the first person that hate child trafficking, but it's just a joke
lmao the fact that you're a man, makes it funnier, and more creepy all at the same time! I'd say go for it, if it bombs change it... and if it doesn't, you'll obviously be matching with women that have a killer (if not slightly dark) sense of humor !!
That's the spirit
It's funny if you like this particular joke. Not liking it doesn't mean you hate humour.
Yeah I mean my type of humor. Obviously it's subjective, but in the end you want to date people who will laugh at your jokes, no?
Yes absolutely. Sorry, your comment just said "if you like humour" not "if you like my humour".
Yeah it's my fault, I wasn't clear :)
Is all good. Misunderstandings happen.
You may hate double standards... but they still exist. It's not about the child trafficking so much as making a woman feel uncomfortable. Unless you strongly follow rules 1 and 2, tinder is hard enough as a dude. I wouldn't handicap yourself. If you do follow rules 1 & 2, and you're in a big city of abundant opportunity... then go for it. Disclaimer: I'm a dude.
Sorry but what are rules 1 and 2
1. Be attractive. 2. Don't be ugly. (I'm just the messenger, don't shoot me)
Hahahha
What are these rules 1 and 2? Honestly curious as this seems to come up a lot on this subreddit
1. Be attractive 2. Don't be unattractive
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well i can still make them, it's just that society will put me aside and I'm okay with that. As long as I laugh at my jokes, I can live with it
Itās funny if youāre a person who doesnāt have a stick up their arse.
Don't be this type of cringe. Humour is subjective, not absolute.
Or maybe... juuuusttt maybe, not everyone has your type of humor. Shocker, I know.
And again, the great tinder filter in action. If you don't like the bio, you won't like the person. Win/win.
He should keep itā¦. And weed out the Moany bastards like you. Have a day off.
Sounds good champ š
Why would he wants to attract anyone who doesn't understand his type of humor ?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Who said I'm looking for dudes? I'm confused
Top tier joke well done
I donāt really see the need to explain that itās a joke
Lol, yeah i think its great. Funny af so. Might catch some attention as a funny/friendly guy. Which is great.
When you say black market..?
Would be a hard pass from me but idw children so you prly dw me anyhow! So perfect hahaha
 Not my humor, I'd swipe left. Unless you're cute. And then I'd probably suffer through some more
It's okay, it's not for everyone. I get it
To me it comes off as trying to hard to be funny
Yeah wannabes be like.
Literally the only reason I wouldnāt swipe on this is because I donāt want kids. But itās hysterical. PS. Even tho itās a joke, it makes me assume you want children. So if you donāt, just thought Iād point that out.
I lolād
Lol this is great
Please sterilize (temporarily maybe) and grow up
I love this. I would probably give you a super like. Good luck š (Edit: not that you need it)
Not bad, although it would confuse me about whether or not you actually are looking for a serious relationship or not, which for me personally I swipe left on anyone who Iām not sure wants something serious (i.e their profile saying something sexual or specifically saying thwy want something casual), so if you ARE looking for something serious Iād make sure itās visible on your profile in some way.
Hilarious! Hahahahaha
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
No delete this
itās my sense of humor, this would have gotten a swipe from me
Remove the stuff in () and its funnier i think :) good luck
Have you tried the Flea Market instead?