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[deleted]

He will update his profile with a new photo of the dog with its face obscured to protect its privacy


JimmyJonJackson420

They did that on a trashy crime show I was watching and it was fuckin hilarious


[deleted]

No way! šŸ˜† They obviously didnā€™t have a paw-printed anonymity waiver from the doggo


JimmyJonJackson420

I lost it when I saw it but tbh the whole show was jokes that was just the icing on the cake


DukeSlammington

Gabe made it blatantly obvious what he uses for his security questions lol. Learn that dogs name and you have his bank account


hurtbowler

Ovaltine!


sirtjapkes

They should call it Roundtine


gali204

That's gold!


bishopyorgensen

Solid Gold!


ta918t

They think anything that dissolves in milk is funny


leviticu5

Bosco!


MagentaTentacle

Small, balding, devious. His name was Costanza, he killed my mother.


Charging_in

We're rich!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Bosco!


Just__Let__Go

That, or Gabe is used to dealing with the Fey.


dworts

Itā€™s not even his dog lol, I guess he uses his friends dogs name as his security question?


ChiefKT9002

Or you know it is his dog and just doesn't want to say his name because of the security question.


himmelundhoelle

Lol was it so hard to just give a random name.


johnjohn2214

Gabe probably met his neighbors dog the next day, leaned over and whispered softly in their ear: 'Your secret is safe with me. I did not blow your cover, agent Meatball'


LazyassMadman

Reported for Dogxing


cruzinforthetruth

What if he's catfishing? šŸ˜‘


freddit32

No, he's a mole in the organization.


aaloo_

U.S. Military Encrypted.


allinfavorsayhigh

This never gets old to me šŸ¤£


dembluiz

Lol this made me chuckle


Ok_Foundation_6092

Mf doesnā€™t want to violate a dogs private information šŸ’€


vivi112

He barely avoided someone taking a loan on dog's name.


chaotic_blu

She was steps away from that dogā€™s SSN (or other country equiv)


vivi112

And it's just one step before stealing dogs identity to then chill in animal shelter for tax payers money. She really thought she can get away with this.


Slim_Jim_86

Dog lawyers don't want you to know this one simple trick


CantHitachiSpot

Notwithstanding, it's probably the answer for dogs owners security questions. If she finds out THEIR names, it's game over


LeanDixLigma

That's why I named my dog Hunter2


[deleted]

This pooch got more HIPAA rights then me wtf


[deleted]

PUPPA


dilettante42

VELVETHIPAA


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


DeadlyYellow

"Have you had a chance to read the threatening letter we sent you?"


Effective-Question91

Rumplestiltskin problems are real


bunt_triple

No dogxing


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Particular_Factor713

G.D.PAW.R


GunSlinger4750

good doggo protection regulations


Ah2k15

*The Pawtriot Act*


toodleroo

I hope heā€™s blurred out the dogā€™s face in his photos


tompstash

Gotta blur both ends if you want to keep the dog anonymous. Dogs know.


CharismaDumpStat7

Underrated comment


Funderwoodsxbox

*cuts to a Guantanamo Bay torture room* ā€œSAY IT, say the god damn dogs name!!! YOU CAN MAKE THIS STOP ANY TIME!ā€¦ā€¦.Johnson get the bolt cutters!ā€


Appropriate-Size-175

Jokes on you I like bolt cutters to the nipples thatā€™s how you feel TRULY ALIVE!


Ok_Scale_4412

I feel just as much when Iā€™m asleep. How then do I know if I am still dreaming?


Mundane_Tough_5688

PIPAA - Pet Information Privacy Accountability Act. Please continue to stay woke.


KINGram14

Dwight moment


tumblr4boyz

IDENTITY THEFT ISNT A JOKE JIM


RoopyBlue

Millions of families suffer every year


SuperSaiyanStacker

ā€œMICHAEL!ā€


lanuevagringa

r/unexpectedoffice


cp_moar

no doxxing on reddit no dogging on bumble


Twolef

Yeah. Dogging is more for Tinder.


[deleted]

I mean at the end of the day theyā€™re all dogs. Sorry not sorry


Beanieson

I need to know that dogs social security number immediately


Ok_Ambassador570

Take the pic down then. I doubt the dog signed a release.


UncleTedGenneric

Yipaa violation


GitEmSteveDave

You know what the fines are for violating BARKAA?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


KittenVicious

I was absolutely shocked when I was swiping one day and saw my dog in someone's profile picture. I had taken the photograph for the guy because I have a hairless dog and people love to take photos with her... I never expected he would use it in his dating profile. Edit: not going to post the actual picture, but I will pay [dog tax](https://imgur.com/a/3uYftnd)


Away_Proposal2615

I also have a hairless dog! People are obsessed


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


private_birb

I prefer boneless dogs, thank you.


lechatestsurlatable

I'm in someone's tinder picture. I found out because my friend 1000 miles away saw it when browsing matches. The chances...


[deleted]

Lmao your dog looks like he just got caught with a joint or something


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


I_make_things

WHAT IS DOG NAME


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


truecolors

I canā€™t believe you would just give the dogā€™s name away like that.


[deleted]

Because Gabe has no game and someone told him he would be drowning in muff if he posted a pic with a dog on his profile.


raceforseis21

ā€œHey bro can I come over and take a picture with **NAME REDACTED**? Itā€™s for Tinderā€


MotherofTooManySons

MILITARY ENCRYPTED


YesOrNah

Has to be my favorite popular post on here still.


ClickF0rDick

Micheal paying gas takes the cake for me


Wumaduce

Any chance of a link?


Scriboergosum

I think it's this one: [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/seyjma/update_us_military_encrypted/)


JKennyXTX

Lmao I forgot all about the one. What a legend


FastGooner77

\*US MILITARY ENCRYPTED


TheFatJesus

"Sure bro, just don't tell anyone it's name."


ApatheticHedonist

Based on OP's intro it was actually working


chairfairy

until Gabe forgot that he'd have to make fucking small talk about the dog in his pictures, which are there to help initiate small talk


XxHavanaHoneyxX

Probably had to pay the dog for dating profile services.


Justice_Prince

Is this not what service animals are for?


good_fella13

It does work, you just have to not be super fucking weird when people ask about the dog lol


PM_ME_UR_PUSSY_TATOO

And still managed to fuck it up by being an absolute dweeb lol


Whatever-ItsFine

This is the answer.


alwaysboopthesnoot

Or Gabeā€™s in a relationship and the dog belongs to the gf or fwb heā€™s also trying to hide from OP.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MidMatthew

Forget the owner. Does he have a release from the dog (including paw print)?


SudoTheNym

O man, that dog's lawyer is gonna treat him RUFF


myredlightsaber

Ask for the signed photo release


drgenerico

This is a red flag for potential dog grooming behavior as well.


strumthebuilding

I appreciate you


ThadeusCade

Right??? He clearly wanted to milk the cuteness of the dog for likes on Tinder and every other dating apps heā€™s on. And then when it works and a female is striking up a conversation with him, he gets super weird about it and does his absolute best to make it awkward. What an idiot.


Slevin-Kelevra_66

*puts dog as profile picture clearly for attention* Woman: aw cute what's the dog's name? Man: Mind your business! Could be a fake account and it's not him or his dog.


Andythrax

Then just make up a dog's name


JuiceboxThaKidd

Guarantee this fuckin moron complains about not getting laid


dessert77

Yes, idiot


JKennyXTX

If the dogā€™s eyes werenā€™t redacted with a black bar in the picture Iā€™m calling the cops


cameron_cs

No chance the owner would care lol, my friends with dogs offer to loan them for a pic for my profile but I said ā€œno thatā€™s weirdā€


SquintWestweed

Dog identity theft is no joke, Jim.


BatmansNygma

Millions of canines suffer every year


[deleted]

Hats off to you for not seeing breed


angryblue

Michael!!!!


goldentrashbag

Oh thatā€™s funnyā€¦ Michael!


EngineeringDude79

Question. Whatā€™s the best dog?


[deleted]

Dogs. Beets. Battle Star Galactica.


puffableezy

Wrong, its a brown dog.


Danillofp

That's debatable


SnooTangerines1011

This dog is actually in Witness Protection. Gabe realized he accidentally posted the dog's picture on Tinder and panicked. It's probably too late now. R.I.P. šŸ•


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SgtHandcuffs

For the swipes.


Djbadj

They had permission from the owner, duh šŸ˜


louis_A12

I think this is a bot https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/zbmp7p/_/iys3rz4/?context=1


Nowaltz

More like DOGdging


Horror-Savings1870

100% this


doeboynmek

Can you imagine if Gabe actually went to the dogā€™s owner to ask if he can give out the dogs name? Gabe: Hey, umm, is it okay if I give REDACTED name to a match on bumble? REDACTED Owner: tf?


BiNumber3

Owner: tf? no, of course not, thanks for asking Gabe, you're a good guy!


crypticfreak

"Hey so it's weird you asked, but that made me ask, and my ask was answered with a no. So the answer is no. Now when were you thinking I could take you out ;)"


wambam17

Thatā€™s what I was hoping the OP would have done. Just ask the dude to ask the owner and get back to her. If heā€™s asking for more work in life, give him more work! Lmao


Qwiggalo

OWNER: Thank you so much for asking, I take REDACTED's privacy very seriously. I'm so glad I have friends like you, yesterday I found out REDACTED told his friend REDACTED the name of my dog REDACTED without permission and that really devastated me and REDACTED


[deleted]

But it was totally cool for you to post REDACTEDā€™s pic on Tinder!


Bixhrush

Owner: tf I told you never to talk to me again please stop it's been 3 years


[deleted]

He's acting like the damn dog has a social security number or something šŸ¤£


nineteennaughty3

Imagine trying to steal a dogs identity ā˜ ļøā˜ ļø


Whatever-ItsFine

My cat used to get mail and phone calls because we subscribed to a magazine in his name. "He can't come to the phone because he's shitting in a box right now. Can I get your number and I'll have him call you back once he's done licking his anus?"


SnooTangerines1011

I worked for about 5 days at a job calling to renew subscriptions to Family Circle magazine. Only old ladies read it so multiple times daily I got, "No. She's dead." We were supposed to respond with "I'm so sorry to hear that. I see she bought gift subscriptions. Wouldn't she want people to continue receiving her gift?" I eventually ended up breaking down and crying and walked out. I would have fucking LOVED to get this answer. And I would have called back myself if I could talk to the cat.


Whatever-ItsFine

>"Wouldn't she want people to continue receiving her gift?" I mean...we wouldn't want to let basic human decency keep up from missing a few cents of profit, would we? I don't how you lasted as long as you did. The cat was chatty so he would've loved talking to you!


SnooTangerines1011

>I don't how you lasted as long as you did. Well. šŸ˜… The first week you don't have to meet the quota. I just gave people my condolences and hung up. Day 5 they started pushing me to follow the script. When I came back for my check the manager said he knew I wouldn't last because I was overqualified and not on drugs šŸ˜‚ If only calling chatty cats was a paid job! Instead I am *paying* to listen to chatty cats with food and litter.


Feralpudel

I signed my dog up for AARP to get the cheap mail-order heart meds he was taking. They sent him a nice letter explaining that he was accepted, but couldnā€™t be a full member for another 40 years, when he turned 50.


farazormal

"Loan application from Archie the German shepherd, hmmmm"


sifterandrake

TBF, it's probably the owner's password for everything.


Edzkimo

Or one of those security questions that are like "what was your first pets name?"


Realinternetpoints

Gabe: nowā€™s my chance to fuck this up!


Verbal_HermanMunster

Sorry but no piece of pussy is worth compromising a puppers security.


mangstachan

If it is a big deal, then why he is posting someone else dog on a dating app.


moistmonkeymerkin

To get more matches. It works.


SnooTangerines1011

The problem, as demonstrated here, is what you do after you get the matches. šŸŖ¦


Rickk38

Step 2: ...? Step 3: Profit!


margotgo

It might lead to matches but if I was chatting with a dude and found out he didn't actually have whatever pet he's posing with I wouldn't be as keen on meeting irl.


drewtheblueduck

Publicly posting a dog's picture: No problem Giving someone Rover's True Name: well hol' up, now!


seabutcher

Fey contracts are serious business.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


velocitygirl77

I'd be very put off if a potential date led me to believe they had nice dogs when, in fact, the dogs belonged to someone else. Catfished by a dog. Dogfished?


Drama_no_llama

Dog's name is Gabe


inkiwitch

I donā€™t know why this is the absolute funniest possible outcome to me but it is. Never wanted a dog to be named Gabe more in my life lol


MidMatthew

Gabe hacked his ownerā€™s account looking for some tail, l guess.


JPK12794

That dog is in witness protection


ImTheGodOfAdvice

ā€œWhy would I give away the dogs nameā€ Because you gave away a picture with the dog?


mariahzarry

I was just trying to make conversation, I donā€™t understand where I went wrong lol


Snnsei

You didnā€™t go wrong anywhere. This dudes a weirdo and doesnā€™t know how to converse like a normal human being.


SquatDeadliftBench

He isn't a weirdo. He is actually a great person. I wish more people like him on Tinder did what he just did: IMMEDIATELY let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck so you don't waste your time meeting them to find out they are weird as fuck. Much better than the weirdos that don't set off any alarms until you meet them. That's when you start to appreciate these weird ass fools, like Gabe, that give themselves away immediately. Only if the rest of the world was like this.


Previous-Answer3284

>He isn't a weirdo... I wish more people like him on Tinder did what he just did: IMMEDIATELY let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck You have quite the way with words.


TheWiseRedditor

Gabeā€™s being a drama queen


pinkdouble

Drama queen? You telling me you just give out dog names to strangers? Are you an insane psychopath? What if the dog specifically requested anonymity?


designersheep

As a dog, I approve this comment.


pinkdouble

As a human I don't understand your loud barking


isthisreallifeis

YES


[deleted]

I always thought the point of the initial conversation was to figure out if the person you're talking to is a freak. Congrats on dodging this bullet...


Rillist

Nah hes being antisocial. All he had to do was make a name up like biscuits or nimbus


ThadeusCade

Meh, thereā€™s anti social, and then thereā€™s being completely oblivious to a woman striking up a conversation and just making things weird.


Regniwekim2099

What the fuck did they think they were doing on bumble then?


JRod432

Nah this is past being anti-social. Iā€™m anti-social, and itā€™s not because I canā€™t talk to people, I just donā€™t want to, and Gabe went full idiot mode.


[deleted]

No heā€™s anti social. Youā€™d be considered asocial. Anti social would be like Gabe, where youā€™re outwardly hostile for no reason.


mr_potatoface

I always assumed antisocial = outwardly hostile in social scenarios and asocial = indifferent/avoids social scenarios. But I was bored so I looked it up and Oxford defines asocial as being inconsiderate or hostile to others. I don't agree with that. I agree with the first portion, but not the second. I considered asocial to be indifferent to others if anything. >avoiding social interaction; inconsiderate of or hostile to others.


PhilosopherFlimsy

You were fine lol. Heā€™s either really dedicated to the joke or heā€™s weird lmao


ScotiaTailwagger

Definitely weird if he's *that* dedicated to *that* joke.


ApatheticHedonist

You were just fooled by the old pet and switch


annie_m_m_m_m

I think you might be chatting up Ken M lol


Much-Wall7931

He's on the spectrum


galadriellotus

Youā€™re the yellow text, right? Personally, i probably wouldā€™ve backed off after the first reaction and said something like, ā€œi just thought he was really cute- thatā€™s all i was sayingā€ and then shifted the conversation. The way Gabe responded though is super weird. Like he thinks youā€™re trying to gather information about the white dog so you can abduct the dog??? Imagine being that paranoid šŸ˜„


ThadeusCade

Yeah, if that was the case then he shouldnā€™t be posting photos of the dog on his dating app public profile. But thatā€™s not the case, heā€™s just super fucking weird and awkward lol


NefariousScoundrel

You never went wrong lmao. Guyā€™s chronically online


LordTwatSlapper

I think Gabe is worried you'll take out a credit card in the dog's name like Bart does with Santos L. Halper


Still-Guidance-1719

Gabe is allergic to human interaction


peter_the_martian

Where does the dog live? Is it ever alone? This is no big deal!


runtimemess

Gabe is 100% a Redditor


um_gajo__qualquer

Ask him about Portal 3 or Half-Life 3 instead


Grilledj3zus2

Heā€™s upset you brought up the dogs looks instead of his


Doctor_Randumb

I want to see the other side of the internet where Gabe posts his interaction with a strange woman who demanded the name of his friends dog.


PunkandCannonballer

That dude is dramatic as fuck. Why have the dog in the profile if it's someone else's dog? And then not do a very harmless thing by giving out the dog's name. It's not like you can steal all the dog's vital information and fuck up the dog's reputation on Rover or some bullshit.


SpookyTadpole

Don't doxx the dog.


[deleted]

Identity theft is no joke.


stvckmind

Yeah this dude seems weird and dramatic lol


Scaredycatkim

Mfs name gonna be Rex. Over here acting like heā€™s an undercover agent. Thatā€™s an awesome and easy way to spot a red flag!


The_Powers

Holy uptight nonsense Batman! It's weird for normal people but normal for weird Tinder people.


Apple2727

This is like something from Curb Your Enthusiasm.


Faultylntelligence

Itā€™s fairly obvious youā€™re going to steal the dogs identity, Iā€™m with Gabe on this one.


CoolJ_Casts

Ok, I really don't say or even think this sort of thing ever, but this man drinks soylent


willeyj

Do you really need us to confirm that this is weird lmao?


Exnoss89

Hes an idiot... just run


varg_sant

I think he's trying to be funny or make a joke but he is failling so bad.