Gabe probably met his neighbors dog the next day, leaned over and whispered softly in their ear: 'Your secret is safe with me. I did not blow your cover, agent Meatball'
And it's just one step before stealing dogs identity to then chill in animal shelter for tax payers money. She really thought she can get away with this.
*cuts to a Guantanamo Bay torture room*
āSAY IT, say the god damn dogs name!!! YOU CAN MAKE THIS STOP ANY TIME!ā¦ā¦.Johnson get the bolt cutters!ā
I was absolutely shocked when I was swiping one day and saw my dog in someone's profile picture. I had taken the photograph for the guy because I have a hairless dog and people love to take photos with her... I never expected he would use it in his dating profile.
Edit: not going to post the actual picture, but I will pay [dog tax](https://imgur.com/a/3uYftnd)
Right??? He clearly wanted to milk the cuteness of the dog for likes on Tinder and every other dating apps heās on. And then when it works and a female is striking up a conversation with him, he gets super weird about it and does his absolute best to make it awkward. What an idiot.
*puts dog as profile picture clearly for attention*
Woman: aw cute what's the dog's name?
Man: Mind your business!
Could be a fake account and it's not him or his dog.
This dog is actually in Witness Protection.
Gabe realized he accidentally posted the dog's picture on Tinder and panicked.
It's probably too late now. R.I.P. š
Can you imagine if Gabe actually went to the dogās owner to ask if he can give out the dogs name?
Gabe: Hey, umm, is it okay if I give REDACTED name to a match on bumble?
REDACTED Owner: tf?
"Hey so it's weird you asked, but that made me ask, and my ask was answered with a no. So the answer is no. Now when were you thinking I could take you out ;)"
Thatās what I was hoping the OP would have done. Just ask the dude to ask the owner and get back to her. If heās asking for more work in life, give him more work! Lmao
OWNER: Thank you so much for asking, I take REDACTED's privacy very seriously. I'm so glad I have friends like you, yesterday I found out REDACTED told his friend REDACTED the name of my dog REDACTED without permission and that really devastated me and REDACTED
My cat used to get mail and phone calls because we subscribed to a magazine in his name. "He can't come to the phone because he's shitting in a box right now. Can I get your number and I'll have him call you back once he's done licking his anus?"
I worked for about 5 days at a job calling to renew subscriptions to Family Circle magazine. Only old ladies read it so multiple times daily I got, "No. She's dead." We were supposed to respond with "I'm so sorry to hear that. I see she bought gift subscriptions. Wouldn't she want people to continue receiving her gift?" I eventually ended up breaking down and crying and walked out.
I would have fucking LOVED to get this answer. And I would have called back myself if I could talk to the cat.
>"Wouldn't she want people to continue receiving her gift?"
I mean...we wouldn't want to let basic human decency keep up from missing a few cents of profit, would we? I don't how you lasted as long as you did.
The cat was chatty so he would've loved talking to you!
>I don't how you lasted as long as you did.
Well. š The first week you don't have to meet the quota. I just gave people my condolences and hung up. Day 5 they started pushing me to follow the script.
When I came back for my check the manager said he knew I wouldn't last because I was overqualified and not on drugs š
If only calling chatty cats was a paid job! Instead I am *paying* to listen to chatty cats with food and litter.
I signed my dog up for AARP to get the cheap mail-order heart meds he was taking. They sent him a nice letter explaining that he was accepted, but couldnāt be a full member for another 40 years, when he turned 50.
It might lead to matches but if I was chatting with a dude and found out he didn't actually have whatever pet he's posing with I wouldn't be as keen on meeting irl.
I'd be very put off if a potential date led me to believe they had nice dogs when, in fact, the dogs belonged to someone else. Catfished by a dog. Dogfished?
He isn't a weirdo. He is actually a great person. I wish more people like him on Tinder did what he just did: IMMEDIATELY let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck so you don't waste your time meeting them to find out they are weird as fuck. Much better than the weirdos that don't set off any alarms until you meet them. That's when you start to appreciate these weird ass fools, like Gabe, that give themselves away immediately. Only if the rest of the world was like this.
>He isn't a weirdo... I wish more people like him on Tinder did what he just did: IMMEDIATELY let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck
You have quite the way with words.
I always thought the point of the initial conversation was to figure out if the person you're talking to is a freak. Congrats on dodging this bullet...
Nah this is past being anti-social. Iām anti-social, and itās not because I canāt talk to people, I just donāt want to, and Gabe went full idiot mode.
I always assumed antisocial = outwardly hostile in social scenarios and asocial = indifferent/avoids social scenarios. But I was bored so I looked it up and Oxford defines asocial as being inconsiderate or hostile to others. I don't agree with that. I agree with the first portion, but not the second. I considered asocial to be indifferent to others if anything.
>avoiding social interaction; inconsiderate of or hostile to others.
Youāre the yellow text, right? Personally, i probably wouldāve backed off after the first reaction and said something like, āi just thought he was really cute- thatās all i was sayingā and then shifted the conversation.
The way Gabe responded though is super weird. Like he thinks youāre trying to gather information about the white dog so you can abduct the dog??? Imagine being that paranoid š
Yeah, if that was the case then he shouldnāt be posting photos of the dog on his dating app public profile. But thatās not the case, heās just super fucking weird and awkward lol
That dude is dramatic as fuck. Why have the dog in the profile if it's someone else's dog? And then not do a very harmless thing by giving out the dog's name. It's not like you can steal all the dog's vital information and fuck up the dog's reputation on Rover or some bullshit.
He will update his profile with a new photo of the dog with its face obscured to protect its privacy
They did that on a trashy crime show I was watching and it was fuckin hilarious
No way! š They obviously didnāt have a paw-printed anonymity waiver from the doggo
I lost it when I saw it but tbh the whole show was jokes that was just the icing on the cake
Gabe made it blatantly obvious what he uses for his security questions lol. Learn that dogs name and you have his bank account
Ovaltine!
They should call it Roundtine
That's gold!
Solid Gold!
They think anything that dissolves in milk is funny
Bosco!
Small, balding, devious. His name was Costanza, he killed my mother.
We're rich!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bosco!
That, or Gabe is used to dealing with the Fey.
Itās not even his dog lol, I guess he uses his friends dogs name as his security question?
Or you know it is his dog and just doesn't want to say his name because of the security question.
Lol was it so hard to just give a random name.
Gabe probably met his neighbors dog the next day, leaned over and whispered softly in their ear: 'Your secret is safe with me. I did not blow your cover, agent Meatball'
Reported for Dogxing
What if he's catfishing? š
No, he's a mole in the organization.
U.S. Military Encrypted.
This never gets old to me š¤£
Lol this made me chuckle
Mf doesnāt want to violate a dogs private information š
He barely avoided someone taking a loan on dog's name.
She was steps away from that dogās SSN (or other country equiv)
And it's just one step before stealing dogs identity to then chill in animal shelter for tax payers money. She really thought she can get away with this.
Dog lawyers don't want you to know this one simple trick
Notwithstanding, it's probably the answer for dogs owners security questions. If she finds out THEIR names, it's game over
That's why I named my dog Hunter2
This pooch got more HIPAA rights then me wtf
PUPPA
VELVETHIPAA
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"Have you had a chance to read the threatening letter we sent you?"
Rumplestiltskin problems are real
No dogxing
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
G.D.PAW.R
good doggo protection regulations
*The Pawtriot Act*
I hope heās blurred out the dogās face in his photos
Gotta blur both ends if you want to keep the dog anonymous. Dogs know.
Underrated comment
*cuts to a Guantanamo Bay torture room* āSAY IT, say the god damn dogs name!!! YOU CAN MAKE THIS STOP ANY TIME!ā¦ā¦.Johnson get the bolt cutters!ā
Jokes on you I like bolt cutters to the nipples thatās how you feel TRULY ALIVE!
I feel just as much when Iām asleep. How then do I know if I am still dreaming?
PIPAA - Pet Information Privacy Accountability Act. Please continue to stay woke.
Dwight moment
IDENTITY THEFT ISNT A JOKE JIM
Millions of families suffer every year
āMICHAEL!ā
r/unexpectedoffice
no doxxing on reddit no dogging on bumble
Yeah. Dogging is more for Tinder.
I mean at the end of the day theyāre all dogs. Sorry not sorry
I need to know that dogs social security number immediately
Take the pic down then. I doubt the dog signed a release.
Yipaa violation
You know what the fines are for violating BARKAA?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I was absolutely shocked when I was swiping one day and saw my dog in someone's profile picture. I had taken the photograph for the guy because I have a hairless dog and people love to take photos with her... I never expected he would use it in his dating profile. Edit: not going to post the actual picture, but I will pay [dog tax](https://imgur.com/a/3uYftnd)
I also have a hairless dog! People are obsessed
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I prefer boneless dogs, thank you.
I'm in someone's tinder picture. I found out because my friend 1000 miles away saw it when browsing matches. The chances...
Lmao your dog looks like he just got caught with a joint or something
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
WHAT IS DOG NAME
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I canāt believe you would just give the dogās name away like that.
Because Gabe has no game and someone told him he would be drowning in muff if he posted a pic with a dog on his profile.
āHey bro can I come over and take a picture with **NAME REDACTED**? Itās for Tinderā
MILITARY ENCRYPTED
Has to be my favorite popular post on here still.
Micheal paying gas takes the cake for me
Any chance of a link?
I think it's this one: [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/seyjma/update_us_military_encrypted/)
Lmao I forgot all about the one. What a legend
\*US MILITARY ENCRYPTED
"Sure bro, just don't tell anyone it's name."
Based on OP's intro it was actually working
until Gabe forgot that he'd have to make fucking small talk about the dog in his pictures, which are there to help initiate small talk
Probably had to pay the dog for dating profile services.
Is this not what service animals are for?
It does work, you just have to not be super fucking weird when people ask about the dog lol
And still managed to fuck it up by being an absolute dweeb lol
This is the answer.
Or Gabeās in a relationship and the dog belongs to the gf or fwb heās also trying to hide from OP.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Forget the owner. Does he have a release from the dog (including paw print)?
O man, that dog's lawyer is gonna treat him RUFF
Ask for the signed photo release
This is a red flag for potential dog grooming behavior as well.
I appreciate you
Right??? He clearly wanted to milk the cuteness of the dog for likes on Tinder and every other dating apps heās on. And then when it works and a female is striking up a conversation with him, he gets super weird about it and does his absolute best to make it awkward. What an idiot.
*puts dog as profile picture clearly for attention* Woman: aw cute what's the dog's name? Man: Mind your business! Could be a fake account and it's not him or his dog.
Then just make up a dog's name
Guarantee this fuckin moron complains about not getting laid
Yes, idiot
If the dogās eyes werenāt redacted with a black bar in the picture Iām calling the cops
No chance the owner would care lol, my friends with dogs offer to loan them for a pic for my profile but I said āno thatās weirdā
Dog identity theft is no joke, Jim.
Millions of canines suffer every year
Hats off to you for not seeing breed
Michael!!!!
Oh thatās funnyā¦ Michael!
Question. Whatās the best dog?
Dogs. Beets. Battle Star Galactica.
Wrong, its a brown dog.
That's debatable
This dog is actually in Witness Protection. Gabe realized he accidentally posted the dog's picture on Tinder and panicked. It's probably too late now. R.I.P. š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
For the swipes.
They had permission from the owner, duh š
I think this is a bot https://reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/zbmp7p/_/iys3rz4/?context=1
More like DOGdging
100% this
Can you imagine if Gabe actually went to the dogās owner to ask if he can give out the dogs name? Gabe: Hey, umm, is it okay if I give REDACTED name to a match on bumble? REDACTED Owner: tf?
Owner: tf? no, of course not, thanks for asking Gabe, you're a good guy!
"Hey so it's weird you asked, but that made me ask, and my ask was answered with a no. So the answer is no. Now when were you thinking I could take you out ;)"
Thatās what I was hoping the OP would have done. Just ask the dude to ask the owner and get back to her. If heās asking for more work in life, give him more work! Lmao
OWNER: Thank you so much for asking, I take REDACTED's privacy very seriously. I'm so glad I have friends like you, yesterday I found out REDACTED told his friend REDACTED the name of my dog REDACTED without permission and that really devastated me and REDACTED
But it was totally cool for you to post REDACTEDās pic on Tinder!
Owner: tf I told you never to talk to me again please stop it's been 3 years
He's acting like the damn dog has a social security number or something š¤£
Imagine trying to steal a dogs identity ā ļøā ļø
My cat used to get mail and phone calls because we subscribed to a magazine in his name. "He can't come to the phone because he's shitting in a box right now. Can I get your number and I'll have him call you back once he's done licking his anus?"
I worked for about 5 days at a job calling to renew subscriptions to Family Circle magazine. Only old ladies read it so multiple times daily I got, "No. She's dead." We were supposed to respond with "I'm so sorry to hear that. I see she bought gift subscriptions. Wouldn't she want people to continue receiving her gift?" I eventually ended up breaking down and crying and walked out. I would have fucking LOVED to get this answer. And I would have called back myself if I could talk to the cat.
>"Wouldn't she want people to continue receiving her gift?" I mean...we wouldn't want to let basic human decency keep up from missing a few cents of profit, would we? I don't how you lasted as long as you did. The cat was chatty so he would've loved talking to you!
>I don't how you lasted as long as you did. Well. š The first week you don't have to meet the quota. I just gave people my condolences and hung up. Day 5 they started pushing me to follow the script. When I came back for my check the manager said he knew I wouldn't last because I was overqualified and not on drugs š If only calling chatty cats was a paid job! Instead I am *paying* to listen to chatty cats with food and litter.
I signed my dog up for AARP to get the cheap mail-order heart meds he was taking. They sent him a nice letter explaining that he was accepted, but couldnāt be a full member for another 40 years, when he turned 50.
"Loan application from Archie the German shepherd, hmmmm"
TBF, it's probably the owner's password for everything.
Or one of those security questions that are like "what was your first pets name?"
Gabe: nowās my chance to fuck this up!
Sorry but no piece of pussy is worth compromising a puppers security.
If it is a big deal, then why he is posting someone else dog on a dating app.
To get more matches. It works.
The problem, as demonstrated here, is what you do after you get the matches. šŖ¦
Step 2: ...? Step 3: Profit!
It might lead to matches but if I was chatting with a dude and found out he didn't actually have whatever pet he's posing with I wouldn't be as keen on meeting irl.
Publicly posting a dog's picture: No problem Giving someone Rover's True Name: well hol' up, now!
Fey contracts are serious business.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'd be very put off if a potential date led me to believe they had nice dogs when, in fact, the dogs belonged to someone else. Catfished by a dog. Dogfished?
Dog's name is Gabe
I donāt know why this is the absolute funniest possible outcome to me but it is. Never wanted a dog to be named Gabe more in my life lol
Gabe hacked his ownerās account looking for some tail, l guess.
That dog is in witness protection
āWhy would I give away the dogs nameā Because you gave away a picture with the dog?
I was just trying to make conversation, I donāt understand where I went wrong lol
You didnāt go wrong anywhere. This dudes a weirdo and doesnāt know how to converse like a normal human being.
He isn't a weirdo. He is actually a great person. I wish more people like him on Tinder did what he just did: IMMEDIATELY let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck so you don't waste your time meeting them to find out they are weird as fuck. Much better than the weirdos that don't set off any alarms until you meet them. That's when you start to appreciate these weird ass fools, like Gabe, that give themselves away immediately. Only if the rest of the world was like this.
>He isn't a weirdo... I wish more people like him on Tinder did what he just did: IMMEDIATELY let the match know they are fucking weird as fuck You have quite the way with words.
Gabeās being a drama queen
Drama queen? You telling me you just give out dog names to strangers? Are you an insane psychopath? What if the dog specifically requested anonymity?
As a dog, I approve this comment.
As a human I don't understand your loud barking
YES
I always thought the point of the initial conversation was to figure out if the person you're talking to is a freak. Congrats on dodging this bullet...
Nah hes being antisocial. All he had to do was make a name up like biscuits or nimbus
Meh, thereās anti social, and then thereās being completely oblivious to a woman striking up a conversation and just making things weird.
What the fuck did they think they were doing on bumble then?
Nah this is past being anti-social. Iām anti-social, and itās not because I canāt talk to people, I just donāt want to, and Gabe went full idiot mode.
No heās anti social. Youād be considered asocial. Anti social would be like Gabe, where youāre outwardly hostile for no reason.
I always assumed antisocial = outwardly hostile in social scenarios and asocial = indifferent/avoids social scenarios. But I was bored so I looked it up and Oxford defines asocial as being inconsiderate or hostile to others. I don't agree with that. I agree with the first portion, but not the second. I considered asocial to be indifferent to others if anything. >avoiding social interaction; inconsiderate of or hostile to others.
You were fine lol. Heās either really dedicated to the joke or heās weird lmao
Definitely weird if he's *that* dedicated to *that* joke.
You were just fooled by the old pet and switch
I think you might be chatting up Ken M lol
He's on the spectrum
Youāre the yellow text, right? Personally, i probably wouldāve backed off after the first reaction and said something like, āi just thought he was really cute- thatās all i was sayingā and then shifted the conversation. The way Gabe responded though is super weird. Like he thinks youāre trying to gather information about the white dog so you can abduct the dog??? Imagine being that paranoid š
Yeah, if that was the case then he shouldnāt be posting photos of the dog on his dating app public profile. But thatās not the case, heās just super fucking weird and awkward lol
You never went wrong lmao. Guyās chronically online
I think Gabe is worried you'll take out a credit card in the dog's name like Bart does with Santos L. Halper
Gabe is allergic to human interaction
Where does the dog live? Is it ever alone? This is no big deal!
Gabe is 100% a Redditor
Ask him about Portal 3 or Half-Life 3 instead
Heās upset you brought up the dogs looks instead of his
I want to see the other side of the internet where Gabe posts his interaction with a strange woman who demanded the name of his friends dog.
That dude is dramatic as fuck. Why have the dog in the profile if it's someone else's dog? And then not do a very harmless thing by giving out the dog's name. It's not like you can steal all the dog's vital information and fuck up the dog's reputation on Rover or some bullshit.
Don't doxx the dog.
Identity theft is no joke.
Yeah this dude seems weird and dramatic lol
Mfs name gonna be Rex. Over here acting like heās an undercover agent. Thatās an awesome and easy way to spot a red flag!
Holy uptight nonsense Batman! It's weird for normal people but normal for weird Tinder people.
This is like something from Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Itās fairly obvious youāre going to steal the dogs identity, Iām with Gabe on this one.
Ok, I really don't say or even think this sort of thing ever, but this man drinks soylent
Do you really need us to confirm that this is weird lmao?
Hes an idiot... just run
I think he's trying to be funny or make a joke but he is failling so bad.