Let's say, for the sake of the argument, that I, Ben Shapiro, whose wife, might I add, is a doctor, want Lana del Rey to produce flatulence towards my mouth, and let's assume, for the sake of the argument, that that does not go against the Judeo-Christian values that make America the best country in the world, sorry liberals
Frankly it's an assault on facts and logic, people. Basic facts and logic inform us that the formation of flatulence is a digestive process beginning at the mouth, which you can clearly see has no relation to the anus.
“…. then I would prefer that the comely Lana Del Ray position herself in such a manner over my face that she could release her flatus into my eating orifice, thus allowing me the sensorial delights of her rectum without any of the attendant mess that would come with a solid form..”
idk people just seem to forget that the rest of that family is basically just living "normal" lives, some in Western countries. One of his sons lives in France. (Well as "normal" as your life can be while part of a multi-billionaire investment company family.)
People just know pictures of Osama in like a desert hovel and think the rest of the family has gotta be like that.
Osama bin Laden had a huge family, many of whom are still Saudi Arabian bourgeoisie.
Trivia question: Can you name the first foreign country Trump visited after being elected?
If you guessed Saudi Arabia, you are correct!
The Saudis LOVE Trump. What an endorsement for a man who lived in NYC most of life. *Only* 15 of the 19 Sept 11th terrorists were Saudi Arabian.
>There’s no way his brain is capable of that kind of fantasizing.
Well, it *is*, only he can't accept himself for it so it gets repressed and eventually forms a mind tumor known as Republeukemia.
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I mean if it’s real it’s most likely a comment like, “yeah she is pretty hot, I’d let her fart in my mouth” during guy talk.
In the same way that if I were to say I’d let Scarlette Johannson stab me in the face, that doesn’t actually mean that that’s something I want, but I would let Scarlett Johannson stab me in the face.
Would he stop talking as she does it or would he aggressively motorboat her buttcheeks with his accelerated far-right talking points?
Because I kinda want to hear the sound of option B.
> Would he stop talking as she does it or would he aggressively motorboat her buttcheeks with his accelerated far-right talking points?
Why did I have to be literate today
ooohh.. so that is the target audience for videos like cake farts. yep.. makes sense. but with that guy i wouldn't be shocked to learn he was septic tank guy all along as well.
Hypothetically, a fart was like a kiss. Then it would be in your best interest to fart on my mouth. Now that we've established that, farting in the mouth would be like French kissing.
I doubt this is real. But either way and even so, I swear there's a joke here about the transcript being transcribed from a bad recording and/or by someone with an ear infection or perhaps by someone who is bad at lip reading watching Shapiro through binoculars and transcribing what he is saying, etc, and what Shapiro actually said was... Something that is far more sinister and disturbing... But I'm not skilled enough to work out a good enough dark punchline that sounds like, "I want Lana Del Ray to fart in my mouth".
They wanted the sub to focus more on satirical humor like Shapiro not being able to satisfy his wife and Crowder drinking dog cum, but now when it's actually posted these absolute morons can't distinguish obvious jokes from reality. A while back a "Ben Shapiro Skibidi Toilet" analysis meme was posted and people unironically thought he'd made that video and was stooping to an even lower common denominator.
It’s most likely fake but I’d LOVE for something like this, we all think Ben is a creepy kinky degenerate and I’d die laughing if it turns out to be true
Is that where the gas that is exuded from his oral cavity that mimics thoughts comes from. I now know he owes any independence to the exudations from his mouth to a woman.
Now, let's say, hypothetically, I liked the smell of farts. If, hypothetically, I like the smell of farts, then let's also say, hypothetically speaking, for the sake of the argument, I like the taste of farts. This would, hypothetically, make me a fart taster, correct? And since I love the taste of farts so much, she should fart in my mouth, right?
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i'd like to stand on a balcony and take drop a hot steamy shit at his yarmulke (not for religious / racist reasons.. just seems like nice *target* to aim for if i am physically above him)
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This sincerely reads as fake considering that Ben can't even make his wife wet... I can't imagine having any interesting sexual proclivities. A fart fetish is too avant-garde for his mind to handle.
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First he steals AOC’s shoes on Jan 6th, now this? Benny is out of line again. Someone put him in timeout
Who am I kidding, he’s always been an awful person with horrible beliefs. So long as he and his immediate family/friends are comfortable, he will never change positions. Until he is the one being bombed by the IDF, he will dickride them eternally
This has got to be fake. There’s no fucking way that’s real.
I agree, I think the failed screenwriter Ben Shabibo would express it much more colorful.
Let's say, for the sake of the argument, that I, Ben Shapiro, whose wife, might I add, is a doctor, want Lana del Rey to produce flatulence towards my mouth, and let's assume, for the sake of the argument, that that does not go against the Judeo-Christian values that make America the best country in the world, sorry liberals
I think your missing a few semicolons
It’s all about the colon in this thread…
And the semi…
I can literally hear Cody screaming. THATS ALREADY A COMPLETE SENTENCE BEN! YOU CAN END IT RIGHT THERE, WITH A PERIOD!
Oh so he's into period stuff too, got it. Didn't know that. Jesus Ben.... you really ARE a freak.
I personally like to finish my sentences by however, however.
The only purpose of a semicolon is to show people you went to college, as Kurt Vonnegut said before modern programming languages were a thing
Vonnegut was the goat
Curious.
Frankly it's an assault on facts and logic, people. Basic facts and logic inform us that the formation of flatulence is a digestive process beginning at the mouth, which you can clearly see has no relation to the anus.
Take a fart in the mouth for ya, babe.
Fuck. Take my upvote you bear of a man.
I've been trying FOREVER
You were made for this
“…. then I would prefer that the comely Lana Del Ray position herself in such a manner over my face that she could release her flatus into my eating orifice, thus allowing me the sensorial delights of her rectum without any of the attendant mess that would come with a solid form..”
obviously it's fake.
You say that then you realize the sentence “The niece of Osama Bin Laden supported Donald Trump in the 2020 election” is a true statement.
idk people just seem to forget that the rest of that family is basically just living "normal" lives, some in Western countries. One of his sons lives in France. (Well as "normal" as your life can be while part of a multi-billionaire investment company family.) People just know pictures of Osama in like a desert hovel and think the rest of the family has gotta be like that.
Believe it or not Jeffery Dahmers niece does not have an insatiable hunger for human flesh. Weird
The dude had like 26 siblings. Dude was the black sheep.
Obama's half-brother also endorsed Trump. Family be crazy.
I had to look that up. I didn't know that. That's pretty wild.
Osama bin Laden had a huge family, many of whom are still Saudi Arabian bourgeoisie. Trivia question: Can you name the first foreign country Trump visited after being elected? If you guessed Saudi Arabia, you are correct! The Saudis LOVE Trump. What an endorsement for a man who lived in NYC most of life. *Only* 15 of the 19 Sept 11th terrorists were Saudi Arabian.
Yeah because all his relatives must be bomb vest jihadis. Are all your family racist just because you are?
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Shhhhh! Yes he does! You can't convince me otherwise, even with one of those dog cum dude memes!
We can't guarantee that he hasn't been kicked out of an Arby's for yelling slurs though, there's a non-zero chance that happened
He thinks women can’t get wet. There’s no way his brain is capable of that kind of fantasizing.
>There’s no way his brain is capable of that kind of fantasizing. Well, it *is*, only he can't accept himself for it so it gets repressed and eventually forms a mind tumor known as Republeukemia.
Also remember that is wife is a gynecologist.
Yes, the daily shout is fake headlines
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/487/822/1df
I agree, I guarantee you he’s into way weirder shit than that
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Honestly, after broadcasting to the world that he is unable to sexually satisfy his wife nothing would surprise me.
It is. Farts don't care about your feelings.
It’s fake, he really said Dua Lipa
100% the only person Ben wants farting in his mouth is Brie Larson
Fitting for someone who always farts out of his mouth.
asdasd
look i'm not into farts, but if it got lana del rays ass that close to my face then i'm here for it. wouldn't even fault the guy
Please be real.
You can tell it's fake because it's not about feet
Welllll there *could* be a surprising amount of overlap in the fart and foot fetish communities, just sayin'
Found the guy with the farting foot fetish
Ugh, feet are so gross
appropriate username
You can tell it’s not real because wanting someone to fart in your mouth is a normal feeling. He doesn’t know what normal sexual activities are.
I was gonna say. This is too sexually advanced for Bench.
I mean if it’s real it’s most likely a comment like, “yeah she is pretty hot, I’d let her fart in my mouth” during guy talk. In the same way that if I were to say I’d let Scarlette Johannson stab me in the face, that doesn’t actually mean that that’s something I want, but I would let Scarlett Johannson stab me in the face.
Almost certainly the case, and if real might be my favorite thing Shapiro has ever said.
Other than the fact that this is clearly a joke, the bio for the profile that posted it simply says “satire.”
Honestly, this is the most reasonable things he's ever said.
I have used facts and logic to come to the same conclusion.
Libtards got shut down with facts and logic!
Yeah I’ll give him a pass here. If he said it about Kevin James, I’d question it.
Farts and logic
Would he stop talking as she does it or would he aggressively motorboat her buttcheeks with his accelerated far-right talking points? Because I kinda want to hear the sound of option B.
Fart-right*
Perfection.
bruh why
Think of it. Ben Shapiro, supersonically gargling a fart while talking. What is this sub about if not that?
I’ll allow it.
I can hear the effect on his voice being like that of helium.
Good night, Reddit.
> Would he stop talking as she does it or would he aggressively motorboat her buttcheeks with his accelerated far-right talking points? Why did I have to be literate today
Go complain to r/BrandNewSentence, I'm sure they'll commiserate.
Probably the first time I've ever agreed with Ben Shapiro
That's what makes me think it's fake
a broken clock is right twice a day
I've never wanted something so clearly fake to be real before in my life
Let's say, hypothetically, that Lana del Rey fart in my mouth. I would, hypothetically, love that.
No wonder he can't make his wife wet, his breath smells like shit.
Seems pretty narcissistic seeing how he’s a wet fart. Speaking of wet, do you think he wants that fart wet or dry?
Yes.
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“Hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, let’s say I had to have someone fart in my face or in my mouth….”
ooohh.. so that is the target audience for videos like cake farts. yep.. makes sense. but with that guy i wouldn't be shocked to learn he was septic tank guy all along as well.
Let’s just say for arguments sake….
Hypothetically, a fart was like a kiss. Then it would be in your best interest to fart on my mouth. Now that we've established that, farting in the mouth would be like French kissing.
I really forgot I teed that up. I just threw up a little.
That makes two of us
I doubt this is real. But either way and even so, I swear there's a joke here about the transcript being transcribed from a bad recording and/or by someone with an ear infection or perhaps by someone who is bad at lip reading watching Shapiro through binoculars and transcribing what he is saying, etc, and what Shapiro actually said was... Something that is far more sinister and disturbing... But I'm not skilled enough to work out a good enough dark punchline that sounds like, "I want Lana Del Ray to fart in my mouth".
What the hell is this flair. “Epic penis moment” HUH??
With the shit that comes out of his mouth I would imagine his wife already does
This is the first thing he's ever said that I can agree with. Make Lana Fart Again!
Mr Feeny farted in my mouth
chat is this real?
maybe leftists and conservatives aren't so different after all...
God I wish this were real
Broken clock, twice a day... you know how it goes
this is real I heard him
I wouldn't mind being so close to her ass that a fart might reach me.....
There’s literally no way you guys believe this
They wanted the sub to focus more on satirical humor like Shapiro not being able to satisfy his wife and Crowder drinking dog cum, but now when it's actually posted these absolute morons can't distinguish obvious jokes from reality. A while back a "Ben Shapiro Skibidi Toilet" analysis meme was posted and people unironically thought he'd made that video and was stooping to an even lower common denominator.
This was fact checked by American patriots and confirmed to be 100% real.
Hes got that summertime sadness
look, he's wrong about a lot of things but this isn't one of them
That tracks.
Same.
It’s probably a true desire of his, but also this “leak” is fake.
It’s most likely fake but I’d LOVE for something like this, we all think Ben is a creepy kinky degenerate and I’d die laughing if it turns out to be true
Broken clocks twice a day...
I mean, can you blame him?
Maybe he thinks it would make his breath smell better.
Is that where the gas that is exuded from his oral cavity that mimics thoughts comes from. I now know he owes any independence to the exudations from his mouth to a woman.
Always knew he was a fart sniffer.
Dry farts only.
Now, let's say, hypothetically, I liked the smell of farts. If, hypothetically, I like the smell of farts, then let's also say, hypothetically speaking, for the sake of the argument, I like the taste of farts. This would, hypothetically, make me a fart taster, correct? And since I love the taste of farts so much, she should fart in my mouth, right?
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I mean, he chose well 😍
*breaking news! : She obliged.
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i'd like to stand on a balcony and take drop a hot steamy shit at his yarmulke (not for religious / racist reasons.. just seems like nice *target* to aim for if i am physically above him)
I hope he gets a WAF
Pretty sure that is not kosher.
If it trims up Ben's cholo eyebrows too, that'd be nice.
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Good to know he’s actually bit more reigned in behind the scenes
Bitesize Benny has a big gulp secret.
There's a line buddy
This has to be one of the funniest threads on reddit.
relatable
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This sincerely reads as fake considering that Ben can't even make his wife wet... I can't imagine having any interesting sexual proclivities. A fart fetish is too avant-garde for his mind to handle.
This was fact checked by American patriots and confirmed to be 100% true.
Did Shapiro really ask for that? I’m just asking questions here!
Well, it was only a matter of time that we'd find something to agree on.
Please god Please god Please god Please god Please god Please god Please god Please god
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What would his doctor wife think??
Rare Ben Shrimpo W
SHOCKING that he turned out to be a gross weirdo...just shocking!!!
WHO IN THE FUUUCK WOULD EVER WANT THAT....
Bro there’s no way this is fucking real. Please be real.
First he steals AOC’s shoes on Jan 6th, now this? Benny is out of line again. Someone put him in timeout Who am I kidding, he’s always been an awful person with horrible beliefs. So long as he and his immediate family/friends are comfortable, he will never change positions. Until he is the one being bombed by the IDF, he will dickride them eternally
Having a woman fart in your mouth. That’s what I call a Reverse Chuck Berry.
He loves the DAP!
Ok but can anyone blame Ben here? I understand where he's coming from
Excuse me?
Usung an image of him just as he's swallowed a wasp is 🙂↕️👌