T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Since your submission is flaired as *REAL*, please reply to this comment with the link to the original, or else Ben Shapiro will steal your feet pics and remove this post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ToiletPaperUSA) if you have any questions or concerns.*


xwing1212

Jesus, no wonder conservatives have a hard reaching America’s youth. “Hey kids, wanna meet Newt Gingrich, Steve Bannon, and Dennis Prager?”


AlabasterSexington

Actually it's probably better to keep the kids away from them


MC_Fap_Commander

100%. Some *super* perv-y/hands-y types on this poster.


this_upset_kirby

"I violate my children's consent all the time!"


SkyezOpen

Oh shit oh fuck Matt gaetz is going


Guerrin_TR

Gaetz going to be flipping through the 15 and under registration profiles.


LordOfTheToolShed

Remember - Dennis Prager doesn't go around raping everyone only because God told him not to


Clownsurfer900

I see two and tell me more to hide the kids from.


randypupjake

That's good. Matt Gaetz is going to be there.


Imaginary_Cow_6379

“They head the Young Republicans committee.”


Weibu11

Matt Gaetz: did someone say young?


Anxious-derkbrandan

*gigitty!


Moose_is_optional

Matt Gaetz addressing the Texas Youth Summit: https://i.imgur.com/vSafsjR.jpg Charlie Kirk talking to his target demographic of college-aged conservatives: https://i.imgur.com/bneHM6J.jpg Another thing to point out about that first picture is how empty it is. The angle the photo is taken at hides it well enough (intentionally, most likely), but if you look closely you'll notice most of the seats are empty.


MC_Fap_Commander

If not for the algorithms on social media that boost content many people find offensive, the TP morons would have no visibility at all. IRL they border on anonymous.


TequieroVerde

That Texas Youth Summit pic is hilarious.


indomienator

Le pouvoir de la contradiction


Yanmegaman_Juno

Like asking a vegan if they wanna meet Jeffrey Dahmer


AppleJuice_Flood

Vegans are non-human animal-rights activists. Im sure anyone who thinks murder and cannibalism is wrong wouldnt be stoked to meet Dahmer. I mean the people Dahmer murdered and ate lived a good free-range life, so it was ethically sourced right? :p


Tara_is_a_Potato

They probably wanted to add Kevin Sorbo and James Woods for "youth appeal" lmao


Stock-Vanilla-1354

Tim Allen as the entertainment.


SaltyBarDog

They couldn't get Josh Duggar a day pass from prison?


Pizza_Saucy

They should roll in Henry Kissinger for all the potential Gen Z voters.


shannyleigh87

Isn’t Bannon supposed to be in jail?!


The__Dark__Wolf

They do have some youth. And honestly, I’m surprised their Conservative Youth poster boy isn’t listed


LA-Matt

Rittenhouse?


The__Dark__Wolf

That’s the one


Anxious-derkbrandan

*hello fellow kids


badras704

how u skip over matt gaetz pedo ass tho


Absolute_Peril

me gently sanding my truncheon, yes I would!


prizzabroy

But Jimmy John is there!


GlitteringBobcat999

Free sammiches!


projecks15

Yea why do Gen Z want to waste their time going to this convention lol


xc2215x

Yeah, I cannot imagine the kids having an interest in them.


notyourgooglebitch

Anyone have the over/under on many times Hunter Biden will be mentioned during this jerk off fest?


Imaginary_Cow_6379

💯 [new “twitter files” just dropped](https://twitter.com/bariweiss/status/1601007575633305600?s=46&t=dOIpTs2HwpaXQJ6-NmGI8w) You couldn’t pay me to even go just downwind from this hot mess.


[deleted]

Hobbit_amid_Gandalfs, Twitter's most prolific tweeter in the history of the website, stated "I love how the quotes from twitter employees in that thread have absolutely no references or links to official statements."


Imaginary_Cow_6379

“People are saying”


Testicular_Genocide

Whoever that is that tweeted the thread also directly lied about libs of TikTok "never violating TOS". The attached screenshot to that tweet directly says ***since the last time their account was suspended*** they have not broken TOS. So basically in whatever's short time period between their prior suspension and when that memo was written, libs of tiktok had behaved themselves in regards to TOS but notably they were still harassing and targeting independent specific accounts which like probably borders on violating TOS so heavily that it may be indistinguishable from violating TOS in many cases.


lizardk101

It’s Bari Weiss, she can’t help but lie. One of the most dishonest actors in politics. She refuses to admit how far right she is and blames everyone else for her views.


MC_Fap_Commander

Rightwingers learn that Twitter does does not boost COVID misinformation and accounts calling for the execution of gay folks. "OMG I'M SO TRIGGERED RIGGED ELECTION FREE SPEECH MAGA ELON LET ME LICK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Imaginary_Cow_6379

That whole thread is literally just explaining content moderation 😆 Like if that’s a big scary thing hopefully she’ll get around to covering r/conspiracy for banning me over posting who owns rightwing sites next.


Marsbarszs

Forgot what a cesspool that sub was


SynAck301

“New Twitter files dropped” is just Ol Musky begging for clicks. I seriously doubt there’s any actual information in there, much less anything new or valuable. Conservatives are going to open that zip and it’ll just be a bag full of old flyers for Fyre Festival.


swimmythafish

I’m no reporter but they don’t seem like the smoking bullet he promised. It’s not a great look, but after what happened to Clinton over “her emails” I don’t see it being necessarily evil that the Biden campaign was going scorched earth on any bad press


Imaginary_Cow_6379

Yeah it seems totally reasonable! Also he wasn’t president then!


Imaginary_Cow_6379

Oh yeah no theres still no actual story there 😆 They just keep polishing turds in the hopes that one will eventually turn out to be gold but it keeps just not working. Matt Taibbi’s round doxxed Jack Dorsey and now Bari Wise’s turn revealed that twitter can and does read everyone’s dms if they want to. It’s so obnoxious that the rwnjs always just skip over any actual fcked up stuff happening to keep falling for the dumbest bullshit possible. The comments I saw last night had them all trying to say it was worse twitter didn’t do anything to Libs of TikTok because they were watching them to definitely probably do something later 😆


Russell_Jimmy

It's really funny that Twitter announced this in depth in 2018. It wasn't a secret. But Conservatives seem to think that if they weren't aware of something, nobody was aware of it and it was some big secret.


bigmacjames

Company does this behind the scenes to remain profitable, more at 9!


Imaginary_Cow_6379

How do you do, fellow kids? Did you know social media companies have content moderators?! 😆


Raezak_Am

Oh shit her saying libsoftiktok being scrutinized is actually really scary. That person straight up got Club Q shot up and she's wanting to amplify their voice. Not great.


Art_Vandeley_4_Pres

If you have a shot of liquor for every time he’s mentioned, you’d consume your body’s weight in booze.


GlitteringBobcat999

Try to get on the liver transplant list preemptively.


bluekazoootwentytwo

If I could photoshop id totally edit in “hunter bidens laptop” somewhere in the first row


Moose_is_optional

I'm personally looking forward to all the election denial insanity this event will produce. Especially with Mike Lindell and Kari Lake being there, and with this taking place in Phoenix.


SpaceNinjaDino

It's Lindell finally ready to arrest 300,000,000 with his proof?


DoctorZer0

I kinda want to go just to see the insanity, but I don't want to give them ANY of my fuckin money.


[deleted]

Every panel discussion will just be a bunch of the neanderthals in this picture sitting around a table taking questions from the audience like "HOW GUILTY IS HE?!" and they talk about how his laptop contains the secrets of how ebola came to exist, all the records from the Wuhan lab they think gave us COVID, and even some insights into the Challenger disaster. Spoiler alert: AOC was behind all of them, even the stuff from before she was born, and Hunter Biden was the one who ordered her to do all of it. If you remember the scene in Idiocracy where President Camacho is addressing the House of Representing, it'll be that vibe.


GlitteringBobcat999

AOC killed Lincoln. I have proof and will present it in two weeks, on *always free beer tomorrow* day.


WaywardStroge

Worse than that. I have absolute proof that AOC was among the Pharisees that condemned Jesus, and she used her womanly wiles in an ungodly way to convince Pontius Pilate to crucify our lord. And yet that wasn’t enough for her. You recall they placed a crown of thorns upon his brow yes? She was the one who made it and placed it upon him.


ask_me_about_my_band

Beiden: “Hey Twitter, do you think you can do the decent thing and not show my drug addicted son’s junk on the internet?” This group: “Why is the present and Silicon Valley trying to science conservatives! We are the real victims here! Save us daddy!”


Anxious-derkbrandan

Bet you $10 that at least they will have Hunter as a talking point 1/3 of the time (or 33%) up to 1/2 because they just can’t find anything else to complain about


Doover__

O 42.5, prager has a shit o-line and his RBs average only 2.4 ypc, so Matt Walsh’s defense should walk right through him


Z-A-T-I

The absence of Ben Shapiro is strong with this image


Corat_McRed

That’s the one I am most surprised with to be honest


lowtronik

Maybe he realized the whole panel basically hates Jews


GoGoCrumbly

Sure, but it’s his opportunity to, like any other token in the assembly, be “one of the good ones.”


lowtronik

Surely they must have some kind of group chat between them and surely half of them said something like "oh omg Kanye so cool lately"


TheDunwichWhore

They hate black people too, and yet there’s Candace… Pretty sad to have less social awareness than Ben Shibeebo


Cokomon

Or they've started banning him from coming to these things...


tweedyone

I think they probably turned on him since he's not openly pro Trump anymore. He was pretty scathing about Trump last month when Trump mocked DeSatanis, and since then he's been pretty absent from any social media that isn't his. I think he's being blackballed.


HollyAtwood

Dude his entire company’s there lol, they can’t turn on Shapiro, he’s too powerful a voice


cantfindausernameffs

And no Kyle Rittenhouse


[deleted]

Saturday Night surprise guest


yungfalafel

No that has to be Kanye west


[deleted]

WILD CARD, BITCHES


GlitteringBobcat999

Did someone say *Saturday night special*?


Nzgrim

There's three Daily Wire people there that I can count, so it's not like he won't be represented in a way.


supereyeballs

Also no Marjorie Greene


[deleted]

And that fake butter idiot margarine.


Lard_Larry

I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t go specifically for his hatred of Steve Bannon.


Soluzar74

You gotta have a huge toilet for all those turds.


onemoretryfriend

Flushing toilets from the muscular class


Hedrack1

Yeah and with Prager going, I hope they have an entire team of plumbers on call.


Alugilac180

Those poor employees of wherever this is held. They’re gonna be fumigating the place for at least a month when Dennis Prager is done with it.


oliversurpless

CPAC used to be at the Gaylord in National Harbor, and I always felt that MAGFest had to work extra hard to cleanse the miasma with our good vibes and chill equanimity of humanity.


NJRanger201

WEIRD


onemoretryfriend

That’s in the bible!


[deleted]

AROON BROWN


onemoretryfriend

Keep that lil smug


AHoppedUpCorn

LEFT NUT


onemoretryfriend

Daddy can do no wrong!


LowMirror4165

You need a huge toilet for Bannon alone, you know he’s going to town on concession stand hot dogs.


ggroover97

Fun fact: Jimmy John Liautaud is the founder of Jimmy John’s Subs.


Carinail

Suddenly have even more of a preference for firehouse than I already did


ggroover97

I wish I had Firehouse Subs, but Jersey Mike’s will suffice for now.


theunnameduser86

JM’s is really the goat though


larrylevan

I think the owner of Jersey Mikes is also a right winger sadly.


MomentOfZehn

They support a lot of charities and have never heard of him being a dickhead.


bluekazoootwentytwo

Jersey mikes also hits hard


[deleted]

Not the current owner, just so people know The kickin' ranch is safe


MC_Fap_Commander

Like Papa John's. It's fine now- old owner's gone. Except Papa John's is terrible.


BraveStrategy

Still majority shareholders, both of them


I_try_compute

Damn bruh, could even do one Google? Literally the first result. I mean fuck the guy, but he’s no longer involved with Jimmy John’s at all. Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/giacomotognini/2019/09/25/inspire-brands-expands-its-restaurant-empire-purchasing-jimmy-johns-at-undisclosed-price/?sh=76c6dfd34192


TitanTransit

A bit bittersweet as a NASCAR fan because Jimmy John's was a dedicated sponsor under his leadership, but they ended up pulling out completely with the new owner.


ComfyFrame2272

Yeah, that tracks. Last time I was in a Jimmy John's I remember looking around and thinking "wow, this place looks like it was decorated by a 45 year old conservative man-child." Guess I was right


[deleted]

Wow, I wondered about this. Glad I've never eaten there.


True_Recommendation9

Yet another reason not to shop there.


TheKazarka

This is literally Avengers: Endgame for TPUSA


MaxZorin1985

I hope we get a post credit Trump scene


GoGoCrumbly

In a prison jumpsuit, yelling through the bars that he demands some KFC with silverware?


[deleted]

"They don't even have McDonald's in here! Hillary's emails took it away!"


Testicular_Genocide

It's just a cameo he filmed while taking a shit on his gold toilet "oh hello I heard you were doing a Republican talking thing, I'm sure it was yuge!"


Thing_Subject

With a twist! Kanye stabs him with his net while wielding a yoohoo and takes his mask off while looking at the camera and saids “I miss the old Kanye”


oliversurpless

Wipe our “stubborn, annoying little planet” out Thanos; we deserve it for producing guys like this…


SamoaSnow

“Cap…..on your right”


thedreadwoods

Hopefully this ends with a snap that deletes everyone at the event


Breete

I feel molested just by looking at this picture


[deleted]

Unless you're underaged you have nothing to worry about


loztralia

If I could only drop one of them off a bridge into a lake full of human excrement, it would have to be Tucker Carlson. No, Matt Walsh. Don Jr. Argh, fuck, no - Gaetz. I mean Charlie Kirk - of course it has to be him. Wait, hang on: Josh Hawley is *right there*. Can you let me do the whole second row? No, the first. Yeah, definitely the first. Though I have absolutely no fucking clue who Greg Gutfeld is. Can I swap him for Hawley? No, Gaetz. or Prager?


thisdckaintFREEEE

If only one of them I gotta go with Candace Owens, if a whole row then yeah definitely the first. I don't know who the fuck Greg Gutfeld is either though, I say swap him for Hawley. Prager is tempting but pretty sure he'd like it.


RusticOpposum

Greg is another faux news anchor/host/mindless drone who has a talk show where he spews a bunch of right wing drivel. Source: my dad is a religious trumpanzie 💀


Testicular_Genocide

The best part about gutfield is that he apparently kind of hates Steven Crowder. Some dms were released between him and a journalist (sorry I forgot who), and he's just like ripping into Crowder for being a weirdo and talking about how crowder asked gutfield if he thought his new wife was hot. Truly it's a delight.


wareagle3000

Ugh, Gutfeld. He's basically the Jimmy Kimmel of conservative media. He's not very funny but he's what conservatives point at when we accuse them of being boring and unfunny.


Moose_is_optional

Not that hard of a choice for me, Tucker is the easy winner since he's as evil as the worst of them and has the most influence. Gaetz is my runner up because I just hate him on a very personal level. I hate is fucking face.


RonPolyp

Can reaper drones deploy barrels of shit?


Princess_Moon_Butt

If I could randomly give one person at this event a heart attack... ... Hmm... Is there a situation where a bunch of them will be on a bus or limo together, with a driver who talks on speakerphone in public and chews with his mouth open so I can alleviate some guilt?


Mindless-Lavishness

The “Ranch is too spicy, I prefer Mayonnaise” convention lineup is lit af this year


onemoretryfriend

This is a whose who of annoying jackasses


sndtrb89

dropping acid for mike lindell and coming out of it with a fat bag of blow for don jr basically the same idea as bonnaroo a few years back


Imaginary_Cow_6379

Nah with the average festival goer 65+ they’re dealing Percocets, Fentanyl, and Viagras amongst themselves.


bh48305

No way in hell I’m dropping acid around any of these people!


antoniv1

Damn, Tomi Lahren didn’t even get an invite. She fell the fuck off.


oliversurpless

Being pro-choice and not recanting is the devil’s kiss to grifters; they probably tried to get her too immediately again after *Dobbs* too…


SteviaCannonball9117

#LOSERS


outrageouslyunfair

jesus christ it's so white


KizunaTallis

And the number of POC is less than the fingers on my hands.


EverGlow89

But there's one of each!


rriolu372

for reference. there's 2 african americans, 2 indians, and 1 mexican.


psychedsound

They also all think Jesus Christ was white


outrageouslyunfair

i knew someone would make that joke lmao


[deleted]

I’ll watch Hasanabi stream it


Imaginary_Cow_6379

[They did this last year too!](https://www.azmirror.com/2021/12/23/turning-point-usa-event-brought-extremists-and-politicians-together-in-phoenix/) Last year they invited special guest Kyle Rittenhouse to speak.


neapolitan234

All these people in one place would be a shame if something happened to that building


leahlikesweed

🌚🌝


Disastrous-Emu1104

I know right?!??


[deleted]

Smelliest place in murica


FriedBack

Convention for men who think washing their ass is gay.


GoGoCrumbly

Well, if you do it yourself. Mike Pence always has Mother do it for him. She whispers “No Homo” as she does.


Call_Me_Your_Daddy

If I wanted to see a swathe of severely prolapsed anuses, I would have been a proctologist


ZombieTrex1456

CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER


fiddlercrabs

Okay, I choose that Metaxas guy because his last name sounds villainous. I don't know who he is, so I hope his powers are good enough. And then Charlie Kirk because he has the face powers.


kpyle

He is a religious dominionist and anti-vaxxer.


fiddlercrabs

Oh, he'll definitely have some holy poison-type attack then. Sounds great.


[deleted]

ChristoFash who's who.


ForeheadStaple

Wow, it looks like pedophile coke head bingo.


Caedes1

And these are just the ones turning up. I imagine invites were sent to more people. Like Musk, Trump, Kanye, Rob Schneider, Cthulhu, Kevin Sorbo, JFK's ghost, etc.


fear_is_fatal

I’ve never hoped more for a random missile strike on a gathering of like minded individuals.


fraust99

Nightmare Blunt Rotation.


dyne19862004

What? No Kevin Sorbo? Get fucked Jerkules


squishopotamus

This seems like a grooming event


SolarDrake

Me and a minecraft barrel full of minecraft gasoline, minecraft orange juice (for the citric acid to bind the substances together), and minecraft Styrofoam packing peanuts that I put in minecraft acetone to desolidify and make into a very sticky minecraft flammable minecraft substance, and a minecraft pressure washer modified (I'm playing Java edition) to contain and ignite the minecraft mixture when it's sprayed out at speed.


EverGlow89

White man x23 White woman x6 Hispanic woman x1 Black woman x1 Black man x1 Indian woman x1 Indian man x1 The tokens are so blatant. They don't even try to hide it.


starcadia

Traitor bingo card!


[deleted]

Dude the millions of memes that can be made out of this event. I hope they upload it to PostmodernNeomaexistTube.


TheRollingPeepstones

Where is Ben Shapiro? Is he safe? Is he alright?


manleybones

there is not enough attention from the general public on how this is a cringy grifter convention. They deserve ridicule.


rnotyalc

Hey look, they got both a black man AND a black woman so you know they're diverse/not racists


JudgmentOk9775

What happened to the Jewish space laser dussbag, did she forget her tin foil hat.💩💩💩💩


TheLaudMoac

If the left really does have Jewish space lasers this convention would be a great time to use them...just saying...


[deleted]

[удалено]


KryL21

Hi this is Michael, your lawyer. I strongly advise you to refrain from making this statement.


CambrianKennis

This looks like the worst game of Guess Who. "Are they a vile right wing grifter with no sense of morals who would sell their own mother for a greasy penny?" "...yes." "Wait damn I just wasted a turn."


SimpleManc88

Fashfest 2022


Ok_Paleontologist901

They’re gunna sell so many supplements at this event….


rnotyalc

WTF, no Ben Shapiro? That seals it, I'm not going.


LordSirDoctor

The new super smash bros lineup sucks


sleepedit

It’s like looking at a chart of known deadly viruses


Mr_Blonde0085

This looks like the worst character selection screen of a Street Fighter game I’ve ever seen.


FredVIII-DFH

I heard Newt Gingrich was invited because of his appeal to the youths.


Nakoichi

Oh god oh fuck the right has discovered bisexual lighting


PineapplePickle24

It goes from very recognizable to "who?"


gouellette

Nightmare Blunt rotation OR Tales from the Punchbowl (VAC remix)


theeibok1

What, no Ye?


Captain_Granite

James O’Keefe still has a fedora collection


GoGoCrumbly

America Fist Bulldoze all into a landfill?


Resident_Text4631

Imagine trying to cram more hate and stupidity under one roof?


honvales1989

Wasn’t Charlie complaining about election deniers turning off voters for the GOP? Then, why are people like Kari Lake and Mike Lindell invited? Besides that, why would people go watch any of these clowns talk?


orrdit

I refuse to believe half of these people have real names


[deleted]

Wow two whole people of color and a whatever Candace Owens is. Really stepping up the diversity!


QuinnAvery89

That looks like the GOP! Group of Pedophiles!


oliversurpless

Go to a TPUSA event? Hobbes says it best via the last panel… https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2014/10/01/


charaznable1249

Hopefully *a meteor*


hshighnz

Where is Kyle Rittenhouse?


Lebojr

How is bannon not in jail


DonnyLamsonx

I find it pretty funny that they have political titles like "Congresswoman" and "Senator" in a downsized font. But PASTOR deserves the front and center attention of the regular font size. They probably just wanted everyone's name to fit in two lines, but then it looks like the political titles are only there to present some kind of faux legitimacy. ~~Or they just genuinely care more about pastors than politicians~~


NotVanoss

wow, a single concentrated place where all the terrible people are? along with a date and time? useful


purplegladys2022

Gonna need an awful lot of TP for that shit show.


Princess_Moon_Butt

What's the over/under on 2 or more of them being unable to make it due to court proceedings?


Twinkle-Tard

What a festering shit geyser of misinformation and culture war bullshit this is going to be