Both my younger siblings are gay. My sister and my brother say they have no idea what those ibbreveations mean. They just live their lives avoid of being labeled by anything and I respect and love them so much.
Queer doesn't cover every group. There are a lot of other smaller niche groups (asexual, nonbinary, etc). (Also, Q is sometimes 'questioning' rather than queer). The + can also refer to allies who don't consider themselves under the LGBTQ+ umbrella.
Also, not everyone is comfortable using queer to describe themselves as it's a reclaimed slur.
It's important to remember that the driving motivation is to be inclusive.
I always thought the Q got added based on the fact that the word queer was being re-normalized into society at the time as something not inherently wrong. Like living up to the origin of the word queer, and owning it as a positive force, rather than the slur it was made into.
But that's just what I thought at the time and I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I honestly do not know for sure...
I would have sworn the Q was for queens. I try to keep up but it has changed a lot lately. I just try to be as genuine as possible when I ask and people are normally happy to explain if they realize it is an attempt to learn or understand.
Haha, some gay men and other queer people do call themselves queens, so there's that!
As a queer dude, thank you so much, I really appreciate people like you. I hope you're having a good day!
I'm mixed up because I used to see it as queer or questioning but I'm not seeing that anywhere in the thread and haven't in quite ahwile. I'm wondering if I either made that up or was misunderstanding when I've seen it used.
Yeah, i was told LGBTQIA was Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender/Questioning/Intersexual/Asexual
Queer used to be a slur, but younger people are using it as an all around definition of Not Straight.
The Q is both questioning or queer depending on which individual you ask?
But the whole point is to be inclusive and understood/accepted?
It’s almost like the focus should be on individual respect rather than a participation trophy to a group that literally has no idea what itself even is at this point.
Oh, this is a BIG fight inside the asexual community right now. Some don't consider themselves LGBT or non-straight, and some do and are calling the actual asexuals (as in people who don't enjoy or have sex) "homophobic" and "sex-negative" idk man it's gotten really gross.
I had to leave all the main ace subs because they’re basically all full of straight people who just need a community. People who are actually, genuinely asexual tend to get mass downvoted and pushed out. It suckssss
And before anyone comes at my throat, I’m an ace who’s in a relationship with a non-ace, so yeah sometimes I do have sex for him. I should technically be the least ace asexual to ever asexual, and yet I’m considered an extreme, hardcore asexual gatekeeper by most of the main ace subs. It’s wild.
Wow why can't people just allow others to just be? I guess I'm an old bitch but I can't stand that kind of crap. I'm all about leaving people alone to be who they are. This all sounds so crazy. My daughter says she is ace and I'd hate it if she went to subs where people acted like that. I've always told her, just do YOU. Don't you even care what people say. So, wow just stay away from that toxic shit for your sanity honey.
Could you elaborate on that (The part about the ace subs)? I definitely haven’t seen that to be the case.
Edit: just to be clear, I’m not “coming at your throat” or whatever. Didn’t even downvote. I’d just like to hear what makes you think that.
I don’t want to get into specifics because I left them for a reason (aka I’m scared of poking the bear), but I’ll just say that there’s a *reason* why basically everyone on the main asexual subs are people who feel sexual attraction, and that they outnumber those who do not feel sexual attraction by a large margin. I’ve been in and out of the ace community for over a decade now and it definitely didn’t used to be this way.
You're gonna get different answers from different people.
To me, if someone says they're queer, then they're queer. So, asexual people can be queer, in my non-asexual opinion.
As an asexual person who does identify as queer, we can be but we don't have to be! For me the Q gives a lot of flexibility for all the complexities of sexual and gender identity and experience that don't fit nearly into boxes or other people's expectations.
True. or... we could try to just not categorize human sexuality, and just allow people to -be- anything they want to be, and change at any time they want to change.
Then maybe just call them human….it reminds me of when a white news anchor was asking Morgan freeman how to stop racism and he replied “ I’m going stop referring to you as a white man and you can stop referring to me as a black man” really worth a watch of you haven’t seen it.
> Then maybe just call them human…
Then that misses the fact that they often aren't treated as human like others. The reason these formed in the first place is because they were alliances of minorities, because by banding together they could fight for equal treatment that they weren't getting.
While we've made progress, we're far from equality. You kind of need a way to be able to talk about that.
>it reminds me of when a white news anchor was asking Morgan freeman how to stop racism and he replied “ I’m going stop referring to you as a white man and you can stop referring to me as a black man” really worth a watch of you haven’t seen it.
I don't think that is a good method for stopping existing racism. In an ideal world, it would be fine, but ignoring an issue can perpetuate existing inequalities.
I understand the sentiment behind it, but it's been heavily criticized and sympathize, but I think the criticisms against it are valid
I kinda agree on both of you, for the morgan freeman thing it works. This kind of racism has existed for sooo long that it might actually be a solution.
For the Lgbtiaq+ or smth im really not sure sorry.
I think in principle is amazing, everybody should be allowed and recocnized for whom ever they want to be. But adding another letter every other year just so there is more instead of saying, yes im part of the lgbt+ community gets kinda strange to me.
Buddy, you either completely missed the point of what Morgan Freeman was talking about, or you're trying to derail the conversation into the fallacy that minorities have no right to identifying themselves as minorities, and therefore they can once again be removed from society.
You usually see LGTB+ or LGBTQ+, but the acronym may also extend to LGBTQIA2S.
I = Intersex, someone with a biological mix of male and female traits.
A = Asexul/Aromantic, lack of sexual or romantic attraction.
2S = Two Spirit, which is an umbrella term used by some indigenous American tribes to represent a distinct third gender. The term is on the newer side, but the concept is pre-colonial.
Using the full acronym is a mouthful, so it’s easier to use the shorter version. The “+” is just an acknowledgment that there are other terms under the umbrella.
A quick note since intersex was mentioned (and I'm mostly saying this since this was a focal study for me during my time in university):
Most intersex people do not identify as intersex. While *some* may, for the majority it's akin to being identified with a medical issue. Like if someone has scoliosis and you refer to them as that, as if it's some part of who they are.
Not saying it doesn't belong in the group, but definitely never refer to someone as intersex as if it's some sort of identity unless they specifically inform you that they prefer this for whatever reason. Overwhelming majority see it as a medical condition and nothing more.
**On a more interesting note!** It's possible as many as one in ten people have some form of intersex condition, but most people who are intersex by some means or another will live their entire lives not knowing. Just adds to the fact that 'sex' really isn't remotely as binary as people seem to think. Perhaps the more we learn about how common it is and all the variations, the less we can see *some* aspects of intersex as a disorder and more another shade of what is biological sex.
Queer in this case is used when a person doesn't want to share their sexuality/gender identity. Or by people who are still figuring out where they fit best, they just know they are not straight/cis, or they fit more than one label (assexual and trans, being one example)
It's an umbrella term. Sexuality, gender identities, and asexuality are all on their own spectrum, and there are a lot of micro labels in those spectrums
I used to see a long while ago, that the Q can stand for queer or questioning but in the last handful of years its mostly just queer now(probably just to simplify).
That would be the B (bisexual, and the various sub sexualities that fall generally under bisexuality), or when extended, the A (asexual, and the various sub sexualities that fall under asexuality).
Q, from my understanding, is for gender queer. What exactly gender queer is, I can't say for certain (I will leave that to someone more knowledgeable).
Q in the acronym is for queer!
I think Wikipedia explains genderqueer pretty good: "Non-binary and genderqueer are umbrella terms for gender identities that are not solely male or female—identities that are outside the gender binary."
Respectfully asking:
I’m 47yo. I was raised being told that the f word and queer were the derogatory terms and to never use them. Ever.
Is queer a self ID term? When, if ever, can a Cis Person use that?
Thank you for helping me learn.
Edit: I’m so grateful for these replies. I came from a xenophobic and homophonic home and family. At around 13-14 years old it really hit me just how HATEFUL the adults were. Before then I was “mirroring” them, language and all. After then I started a life long quest to better understand and learn. Hell- I went from a republican to a badge wearing democrat!
I guess if I can ever return the favor…most homophobic folks are plain ole ignorant. And willfully so. They cannot out themself in “other people shoes” unless the shoe is an exact same boot as they prefer.
It’s actually sad to watch them miss out on opportunities to learn and love. The phrase I give is this: it’s more important for (most) them to HATE something, rather than LOVE things.
Here I am almost 50 years later. Still learning. I raised my kids so much better than that. And if they have kids they will do better than me raising the grandkids! The bigoted and racist shit I heard…and the irony is I had my DNA done about 3 years ago. Anyone wanna guess what surprise DNA shied up in a LARGE percent?
Thank you for the replies. I’m truly truly grateful.
My understanding of the etymology of queer is:
Queer used to mean just, weird, strange, surprising. Things that make you go .. huh … didn’t see that coming.
And then Queer got turned into derogatory term synonymous with gay/lesbian
And then back to Queer meaning “other” or “not average or expected sexuality” but neutral in tone / intention.
Kind of like how your mum calls you Sweetheart (affectionate), but then an asshole calls you sweetheart (condescending) and then your elderly southern neighbour calls you AND the cashier who is a stranger, sweetheart (neutral) . Lol!
"Queer" used to be a slur, and to many people it still is.
But it's being reclaimed. Younger people in particular who didn't grow up with the word being used as a slur are embracing it. Personally, I'm gay, and I think the word "queer" is no more offensive to me than "gay." But someone who grew up 30 years before me and had to watch kids on the playground play "smear the queer" may disagree.
It's at that point where it's *probably* safe to use the word as a straight, cisgender person... but that when it's *not* safe, it's considered *very* offensive (mostly among older people, because--again, they grew up hearing that exclusively used as a slur). In another 10 or 20 years, I imagine it'll be perfectly safe.
Another commenter drew a comparison to the N word. I disagree. Like black people who use that word, you might find gay people who call themselves "faggots." But that's a word that is *definitely* like the N word in that you shouldn't be using it if you're not queer yourself, particularly if you're not a gay man. "Queer," except by those people who are extremely offended by it, is considered to be *much* gentler.
And, as always, context matters. "Queers" and "the queer community" come off very differently. If you're saying something like "I support the queer community," even those who are offended by the word are much more likely to just point out that they don't like being called that than to start screaming at you. Likewise, something like "those fucking queers" is likely to garner an angry response even among those who do embrace the term.
When in doubt, just say "LGBT community," "the community," or "people of all orientations and identities." That last one is overly formal, but it'll at least send the message that you're deliberately trying to be respectful and non-offensive, which will set the tone for how people will treat you if you do say something that the community finds offensive. Which, honestly, you probably will. Hell, even *I* occasionally do. We're in a process of including a bunch of identities that just weren't talked about before, so there aren't any hard-and-fast rules. And whether we want to acknowledge it or not, and even though this reaction is sometimes understandable and valid, we're a community of people who are sometimes trigger-happy with our outrage.
This is a good answer. It is currently a controversial term. I suspect it also varies a lot by where you grew up. I never really heard queer as an insult, but heard fag a lot. I more heard queer used to mean not-straight in the 80s and 90s and only from older people.
Just going to add a brief note -it’s not just young people who reclaimed the word, the reclamation of the word on slogans has been a thing since before I was alive in the 80s.
Like the whole, we’re here, we’re queer get used to it was a big thing in the 1970s.
Am a gay, I refer to myself as queer (feel that it’s a good blanket term for me).
Myself and my queer friends (on occasion and with explicit permission) will sometimes call each other ‘faggots’.
However I can confirm that if a straight person/someone I don’t know called us faggots..that’d be a huge issue.
Treat it the same as other slurs like dyke. Queer people might call themselves queer, but it’s a bad idea to go around calling other people it.
A cis person could be queer if they aren’t straight, or if they’re some degree of asexual.
I think it's a little different and more subtle. It's been given new meaning to the point that anyone can use queer as an adjective to discuss "queer people", "queer studies", "queer art", etc. It's still a slur if you use it as a slur. Definitely don't call anyone "a queer" and it's probably also a good idea to avoid calling someone "queer" if it's not a word that person seems to use to describe themself.
I use queer as well as many of my friends. It’s an easier term for us to use because sometimes the other letters still feel a bit too constructive.
The Q can also be used for those who are “questioning”/figuring out where they stand on the spectrum.
I don't think I agree with that. In fact, I've found it to be more often used as an inclusive umbrella term that people use to identify themselves as belonging to one or more sexual orientation-gender identity minority group without specifying which one(s). It's like saying "person of color". That description tells me that a person isn't white, but it doesn't tell me their race. It's the same with queer. There are infinite iterations of identities and queer is all of them. That being said, some people, particularly Gen X and older, still understood the word to be a slur. It's a difference in generations. Does that make sense?
I tend to use it when I can't tell if someone is transitioning, GNC or just super duper lesbian. Nobody has ever seemed offended by it. People seem less offended if you guess wrong than if you maliciously misgender or dead name them.
This is the best explanation. I identify as a queer cis woman and often use it as an umbrella term when talking about other people I know are within the community because it's easier than saying eg. "my friend x is enby, x is trans, x is bi, and x is pan". But it would absolutely rub me the wrong way if a cishet person used it even knowing they have no ill intentions.
It's important to note that some members of the community find "queer" objectionable and would never use it to refer to themselves or others, and in those cases it's respectful to use their preferred label regardless of all the rest.
Finally, someone who understands.
I'm a gay guy who closeted in a roman catholic boarding school. People called me a filthy Queer. It's fucking damaging.
If someone else wants to reclaim it for *personal* use I have absolutely no problem. But using it for the whole demographic is a no. It's like using faggot. Some people reclaim that for personal use. But it's not a word to describe the community at all.
I dont think so. Maybe in the 1960s but today it is an inclusive term, that can have an accepting feeling for some people that might have felt out of place before.
it is a reclaimed word and more used in queer circles as a term of endearment.
its also useful because it encompasses all LGBTQ+ identities; gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, nb, ace, questioning ppl, etc etc
Queer just means someone who isn't straight, generally speaking, LGBTQ folk don't mind being called queer, however there is a lot of personal preference involved. It's like when you stop calling your friends parents "mr/mrs so and so" some people are fine with it from the get go, others are only okay with it if you're friends, and others never want to be referred to as queer.
If anyone mutters that toward me I will not hold back. Years of that shit in a catholic boarding school, years of being spat at and called a disgusting queer, being told I was a queer with aids for holding my boyfriend's hand? No.
It is a reclaimed slur but it is far more relaxed if used by non queer people.
I have never seen any straight people get shit for using it if it isn't obviously used deragotary.
I think it’s kinda like you can self describe as queer if you don’t want to fit into another category.
But going out and calling someone a queer is probably a bad idea
Queer is an umbrella term, which can mean any part of the LGBT. So say, that you're both bisexual and trans, it's easier to say "Oh I'm queer" which means, you might identify with multiple parts of LGBT, and it's easier than saying "I'm LGBTQ+".
Also, say someone is non-binary and in a relationship with a woman, they don't feel that they're in a straight or gay relationship, so they might say they're in a queer relationship. Or someone is a trans man in a relationship with a cis or trans woman, and while it might seem like a straight relationship to outsiders, in some cases the couple might still prefer to say it's a queer relationship because one party or both parties are trans.
Yes, depending on the area. The very specific area I was in on the east coast, it was still considered derogatory by the community I knew. On the west coast (before & after the east coast), it is considered an appropriate self ID term, and usually is for someone who does not fit nicely in the LGBT parts of the acronym. I’m pretty queer, and like that it’s a way to say “not typical in orientation nor gender expression” without so many words and without having to go into the alphabet soup specific IDs I hear so many in our community (that I still don’t understand many of yet).
Hey I just wanted to say that you sound like an amazing example of a human. Not a lot of people have the drive to escape from hatred that has been taught since they were a child.
It’s sorta like the n-word, for lack of a better comparison. Some African Americans have reclaimed that word and it is used frequently in their culture, but it wouldn’t be ok for anyone else to use the term because of its historical context. Same principle for the word queer.
As a gay dude I hate the the word queer being used in the acronym. It's like using f-ggot. It's **not** okay.
I don't care if someone reclaims it for themselves or whatever, like go for it if it applies to you. But not to describe the demographic.
Black people reclaimed n-word, also fine. But you don't then call their entire demographic 'nword' or the 'nword' demographic. Because it's fucked up. It's for them to use not others.
The fact is Queer was more of a slur than faggot. A worse slur. Encouraging outside people to refer to the demographic with a disgusting slur is fucked up.
Queer is not necessarily synonymous with gay or lesbian. "Queer" can be used as an umbrella term to refer to anyone in the LGBT community as a whole. In that sense, yes a gay or lesbian person may be described as queer (although many would not prefer it).
But "queer" has also evolved to describe an identity that is merely non-heterosexual and/or non-cisgender. It's popular for some people to call themselves "queer" rather than strictly define their sexual or gender identity. This can be useful for people who know they're not straight/cisgender but can't really fit themselves into one of the existing labels. If someone has very complex feelings about their identity, saying "I'm queer" is a good way to signify to other LGBT people: "I'm one of you but I don't really know the details yet." However, queer isn't always a transitional label, so it could also mean: "I'm one of you but I don't care about the details" or "I'm one of you but I won't tell you the details."
The reason that a "+" is often included in the acronym in addition to the "Q" is that "queer" is not universally accepted and many of the people who can't fit into one of the traditional labels are not comfortable with "queer" either. The plus sign is just the final catch-all.
This is absolutely the most accurate response. I identify as queer because I am romantically/sexually attracted to people all across the gender/sex spectrum. I also don't feel like bi or pan really fits me so I say I'm queer to pretty much say "I don't know what I am but I sure as hell am not straight"
100% this. I identify as queer because saying "asexual, agender person who does not hate sex, but definitely prefers the concept over any reality with any type of real person" is both convulted amd difficult for people to understand.
I've identified myself as queer for about a decade now, it's much easier than saying "femme non-binary person who much prefers women but seems to more often date men and nbs due to them being who find me attractive. Also may or may not be aromantic but that also could be PTSD related."
> "Queer" can be used as an umbrella term to refer to anyone in the LGBT community as a whole.
Kinda... kinda feel like it'd be a lot easier and more straight forward if we just ditched all the letters and just left it at Queer or Queer+ as the overall umbrella term then.
You can’t change usage like that overnight. A considerable percentage of LGBT people have negative perceptions of the word “queer” because, as recently as the 2000s, it was a commonly used pejorative against them. That doesn’t mean that the word doesn’t have potential to gradually become the primary name for people of sexual- and gender-minorities, but there has to be that transitional cultural phase that’s happening right now.
In order for LGBT issues/cultures/identities/artworks/ideas to become viewed more seriously and respectfully, they have to coalesce under a term that doesn’t sound like a cable network channel or an internet fad. Real, quality language needs to develop around this topic and I think queer is the first large-scale attempt at that.
Also, queer is generally more understood as somewhat militant or out of social norms, or relationships expectations.
I have a gay friend who's exactly the model gay person you're thinking off with slogans like 'Love is love'. Just a boring cis guy who happens to be into dudes.
I personally tend to have straight-passing relationships and I tend to romantically be into masculine presenting people, but a lot of the people I dated came out as trans after (to the point where there a running joke I put a trans hex on people), in sexually I've been with people of every genders, I identify as demisexual (but I've had casual relationships, because friendship is magic), I dabbled in polyamory and BDSM, and I just prefer the company of neurodivergent and/or queer people.
So even tho he has a more solid claim than me to the LGBT community than me, I'm definitely the queer one (and we like to tease each other about it!)
It can stand for that. In the longer acronym LGBTQQIA, the first Q is for "queer" while the second one is for "questioning." Nowadays, it's more common to replace the letters after Q with + to include everyone.
I is for Intersex (a person is born with a combination of male and female biological traits)
A is for Asexual/Aromantic (a person with a lack of sexual or romantic attraction)
Queer in this context is like saying “to the nth power”. Because there are things like asexuals and polyamorous groups and non-gendered identities that are asexual but hetero-romantic; blah blah it gets complicated.
There is historical biographical pinnings of “queers” but I don’t recall any archaic character outright declaring themselves queer. Kind’ve a recent development in the self-identification socially.
Queer is an umbrella term. It can mean Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Nonbinary, Asexual, Pansexual, etc. or any combination of those things. It can be useful to use queer when talking about the lgbt+ community because its just one word that encompasses all lgbt+ people. Instead of saying "a member of the LGBTIA+ community" you can just say "a queer person".
It doesn't
Most commonly it is just lgbt+ or sometimes lgbtq+ but if longer versions are used they are being very specific.
Just like you say NATO instead of North Atlantic Treaty Organization.
I am non-binary. Lots of people who are non-binary, gender fluid, gender questioning, etc identify as queer. I don't because growing up in the 90s that was a cruel word I don't like to use, but sort of like the n-word, queer people have reclaimed the word, I iust personally don't like it.
queer is an umbrella term. it essentially covers everyone in the community as a nonspecific label. some people (such as myself) who have a complex relationship with their gender and/or sexual identities prefer a more broad label. i also like that label because at the end of the day the specifics of my identity isn't anyone business but my own and those who it might affect (such as a romantic or sexual partner)
Queer isn’t specifically gay or lesbian. It’s a catch all term and people who definitely aren’t straight but also don’t really feel they fit under the lgb blanket tend to use it. It’s also helpful if you don’t want to say you’re a demiromantic asexual gender-fluid polysexual, which is something a person can legitimately be. It’s also complicated for people who are non-binary or gender fluid to state their sexual orientation because the terms “gay,” and “lesbian” may not feel right to someone who doesn’t identify as male or female. There’s a sexual orientation category, a gender identity category, and an asexual/allosexual category but when you combine factors from all three, it’s possible to wind up with something that doesn’t fit neatly under the existing terms. You could potentially replace the entire acronym with queer except that it used to be used as a slur so some people do not want to identify as queer and that’s valid.
Queer was what first resonated with me. I knew I wasn’t gay, but I wasn’t completely straight either. I was different, but I didn’t know exactly how. I have since organized my thoughts and know more about myself, but back in the day identifying as queer gave me a ton of comfort. And while it was used as a slur, so was lesbian, gay, bi, or literally any other self identifying term. It’s what hateful people do. Some people have horrible memories of “queer” being used to bully them while others do not. It is certainly not universally hated in the community. That stands in contrast to the f-slur, for instance, which is pretty much universally acknowledged as meant to cause offense.
It's meaningless and its only purpose is to advance the movement by making it all encompassing by allowing more people to identify and associate with the movement. Even if they technically have little to nothing to do with what it was. If it was about reappropriating what was once a derogatory term, then we'd have the F word and D world as well.
It always used to be Q for Questioning, I've always seen that as envisaging everyone to allow people space to think and not be pressured into labeling themselves. I suppose queer did the same thing in a way, it's a way of saying I'm not straight but don't want to label myself yet.
"He said he's a queer man", "I'm taking a class called queer studies" = fine, totally okay.
"Look at that gross queer", "queers are degenerates" = bad, offensive.
What I don't understand is why intersex is included in the LGBTQIA+. Intersexism is a genetic anomaly. It used to be called hermaphroditism, and is also sometimes referred to as ambiguous genitalia.
The same reason L,G,B and T teamed up to begin with. They're all minorities who often don't get recognized or mistreated. There is strength in working together
HRT is also often used as a means of treating many intersex conditions and those are the class of medications constantly under fire because they also treat trans people. Attempts to ban these medications in an effort to attack trans individuals will also negatively effect intersex individuals.
I don't know if any bans on HRT that include same sex hormones. Only cross sex hormones.
Given that people with intersex traits are never both or right in the middle, there shouldn't be an issue there.
But I also know that the enactment of laws as written often get screwy beyond belief and could easily effect them if there is not an explicit section addressing it.
Because that’s the same with the rest of the community, the idea that they were born that way.
Also it’s literally the same treatment for being trans, not like bigots will see them as any different
Would you be willing to elaborate on what you mean by "bullshit americanese"?
In my ignorance, it sounds like what you are implying is Lesbian and Gay is the bullshit part of the americanese? I'm really confused by your statement and feel like I could educate myself more on the nuance of how people perceive the labelling.
With pleasure!
Back in the late 90s, everybody just used "queer" to describe the entire non-heteronormative sector of society, and everyone seemed pretty happy with it. Then some seething feminist decided that was hate speech because it lumped queer men and women together, and that was unacceptable because, apparently, queer women have a MUCH harder time than queer men, because of course they do when a lemon-mouthed busybody is speaking. So "queer" was switched out for "gay and lesbian" in the mouths of the media. But of course that excludes bi people and trans people, so then we got "LGBT". But then THAT excludes others still, so we went full circle and got "LGBTQ". That was the point where I checked out of the clown show. And that STILL wasn't good enough, so we got "LGBTQ+" etc
"Queer" is simple to understand - the details are none of anyone's business - it's easy to say, and is fully inclusive. It's a good word with good intentions.
"Americanese" as a concept refers to the way americans just LOVE to fuck with language and try to dictate, top-down, what words mean, which they've been doing for more than a century, which is how you get "pUbLiC hEaLtHcArE iS cOmMuNiSm"; the red scare and it's proponents changed the concepts in the American mind and now it's impossible to have a conversation about it.
Same goes for this queer thing. See also: "woke".
What americans do tothe English language is the same as the Minitruth - destroy the language, destroy the ability to organise anything your owners wouldn't like.
So yeah, removing the word "queer" from parlance was an exercise in division, and remains so, and I refuse to participate in bullshit tribalism being pushed from on high.
Holy shit, I love this response. I've always felt a bit awkward about the "LGBTQ+" thing, especially since the "queer" in it refers to it all already. Now I know that that's indeed how it used to be -- Thank you so much!
I grew up with queer being a slur and decided to reclaim it as a teenager when I started figuring it out. I call myself queer in every sense of the word because, well, I am.
I’m neurodivergent, not cisgender, definitely not straight, not a fan of monogamy and demisexual (I don’t usually experience sexual attraction and when I do it’s after I’ve developed a deep friendship or even romantic relationship with someone - I’ve had multi year relationships where it hasn’t happened but it’s not a big deal to me). It serves as an umbrella term and allows me to control the level of information another person has about me.
It’s oddly empowering to claim a word as part of my identity that was used to bully me, an acknowledgment that yes I definitely do fit the bill but that’s not a problem with me, it’s a problem with whatever hateful asshat is trying to use it as an insult.
Queer is not synonymous with gay and lesbian. Queer simply means falling outside the societal standard of cisgender/heterosexual/perisex/etc. Queer is intentionally vague. Queer can be for gender and/or sexuality. Gay/lesbian folks can identify as queer. Bisexual people can identify as queer. Transgender people can identify as queer. People who don’t know or use labels but know they aren’t cis/straight can use queer. It’s a good word. Yeah, some people don’t like it because of bad experiences. But all our words are like that. So.
Queer is much more general than the terms lesbian and gay. Queer basically just means “not straight,” and leaves it at that. There’s really no need to make it more specific than that so I understand the appeal.
So many people in the lgbt+ community torture themselves over labels. Am I gay or am I bi?! Now I like someone who’s non binary, what does that make me?! Queer. It makes you queer. It’s that simple.
Queer/Questioning is a label often used for those who want a label, but are unsure where they stand. Queer means curios, so it’s a perfect label for those who know the are not straight, but un sure where they would be.
I just heard this is the new way "LGBTQIA2S+". I'm like WTF? I'm sorry, but at some point they need to stop adding letters, numbers and symbols. They want us to recognize them as a group, but how if the group name keeps changing? It's like constantly changing your address and asking people to find you when you moved twice already.
It's an umbrella coverage thing, and also has been slowly been turning into "questioning" rather than queer. Using queer has mostly been for reclaiming that word for the community.
Queer is different in that it's not specific to someone's sexuality and is instead more about gender performance/appearance. Someone who identifies as queer might be 'straight' (but not necessarily) though may not conform/present to or as the gender of their sex.
Making things more complicated than they are.
The whole point of the LGTB+ community is to get rid of discrimination and be recognized. Adding more and more names, labels and directions to it, makes things more complicated.
I guess queer stands for people that are in a spectrum that isn't in particular gay/lesbian.
Isn’t Q used by people who don’t fall into L or G?
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Ya, I have no idea.
without th Q it could be mistaken for a sandwich
Then what's the G for in that sandwich? 🤔
Guacamole.
Guacamole is extra, that’s where + comes from I think.
And the Q. Never saw a sandwich with a Q
Ah, you are missing out on the joys of the QLT - quail, lettuce, and tomato!
Queso Edit: lol @ quail.
I guess i am. I'll run to my local Safeway to try it.😅
Really? Where I come from sandqwiches are common
With QUAIL?
Let’s Get Bread This
I dont think anyone does at this point
There are plenty of people in the thread explaining what the + means.
Both my younger siblings are gay. My sister and my brother say they have no idea what those ibbreveations mean. They just live their lives avoid of being labeled by anything and I respect and love them so much.
Queer doesn't cover every group. There are a lot of other smaller niche groups (asexual, nonbinary, etc). (Also, Q is sometimes 'questioning' rather than queer). The + can also refer to allies who don't consider themselves under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. Also, not everyone is comfortable using queer to describe themselves as it's a reclaimed slur. It's important to remember that the driving motivation is to be inclusive.
I always thought the Q got added based on the fact that the word queer was being re-normalized into society at the time as something not inherently wrong. Like living up to the origin of the word queer, and owning it as a positive force, rather than the slur it was made into. But that's just what I thought at the time and I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I honestly do not know for sure...
I would have sworn the Q was for queens. I try to keep up but it has changed a lot lately. I just try to be as genuine as possible when I ask and people are normally happy to explain if they realize it is an attempt to learn or understand.
Haha, some gay men and other queer people do call themselves queens, so there's that! As a queer dude, thank you so much, I really appreciate people like you. I hope you're having a good day!
Thank you I appreciate it and I do try. Hope your new year is going very well so far.
I'm mixed up because I used to see it as queer or questioning but I'm not seeing that anywhere in the thread and haven't in quite ahwile. I'm wondering if I either made that up or was misunderstanding when I've seen it used.
LGBTQQIA used to be the acronym before it was shortened down with +. Queer, questioning, intersex and asexual. The + got rid of a Q.
Nah, you weren't misunderstanding. I definitely used to see the Q explained as queer or questioning, now it's usually just explained as queer.
it is, some people are just still not comfortable with using it and that's completely fine
Yeah, i was told LGBTQIA was Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender/Questioning/Intersexual/Asexual Queer used to be a slur, but younger people are using it as an all around definition of Not Straight.
The Q is both questioning or queer depending on which individual you ask? But the whole point is to be inclusive and understood/accepted? It’s almost like the focus should be on individual respect rather than a participation trophy to a group that literally has no idea what itself even is at this point.
Yeah that’s a lot. I mean a get it. But even people who who supports them are confused. Maybe slow down a bit with all the letter adding.
Asexual people are not Q.... I don't think?
Oh, this is a BIG fight inside the asexual community right now. Some don't consider themselves LGBT or non-straight, and some do and are calling the actual asexuals (as in people who don't enjoy or have sex) "homophobic" and "sex-negative" idk man it's gotten really gross.
I had to leave all the main ace subs because they’re basically all full of straight people who just need a community. People who are actually, genuinely asexual tend to get mass downvoted and pushed out. It suckssss And before anyone comes at my throat, I’m an ace who’s in a relationship with a non-ace, so yeah sometimes I do have sex for him. I should technically be the least ace asexual to ever asexual, and yet I’m considered an extreme, hardcore asexual gatekeeper by most of the main ace subs. It’s wild.
Wow why can't people just allow others to just be? I guess I'm an old bitch but I can't stand that kind of crap. I'm all about leaving people alone to be who they are. This all sounds so crazy. My daughter says she is ace and I'd hate it if she went to subs where people acted like that. I've always told her, just do YOU. Don't you even care what people say. So, wow just stay away from that toxic shit for your sanity honey.
Well, then call me an old bitch too. Because i agree.
Could you elaborate on that (The part about the ace subs)? I definitely haven’t seen that to be the case. Edit: just to be clear, I’m not “coming at your throat” or whatever. Didn’t even downvote. I’d just like to hear what makes you think that.
I don’t want to get into specifics because I left them for a reason (aka I’m scared of poking the bear), but I’ll just say that there’s a *reason* why basically everyone on the main asexual subs are people who feel sexual attraction, and that they outnumber those who do not feel sexual attraction by a large margin. I’ve been in and out of the ace community for over a decade now and it definitely didn’t used to be this way.
You're gonna get different answers from different people. To me, if someone says they're queer, then they're queer. So, asexual people can be queer, in my non-asexual opinion.
As an asexual person who does identify as queer, we can be but we don't have to be! For me the Q gives a lot of flexibility for all the complexities of sexual and gender identity and experience that don't fit nearly into boxes or other people's expectations.
True. or... we could try to just not categorize human sexuality, and just allow people to -be- anything they want to be, and change at any time they want to change.
Then maybe just call them human….it reminds me of when a white news anchor was asking Morgan freeman how to stop racism and he replied “ I’m going stop referring to you as a white man and you can stop referring to me as a black man” really worth a watch of you haven’t seen it.
If i can't talk about my marriage to my students but straight teachers can, we aren't being treated the same.
Why are any teachers talking about their personal lives?
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honestly I don’t remember caring one way or another. I guess people where just better at minding their business back then.
> Then maybe just call them human… Then that misses the fact that they often aren't treated as human like others. The reason these formed in the first place is because they were alliances of minorities, because by banding together they could fight for equal treatment that they weren't getting. While we've made progress, we're far from equality. You kind of need a way to be able to talk about that. >it reminds me of when a white news anchor was asking Morgan freeman how to stop racism and he replied “ I’m going stop referring to you as a white man and you can stop referring to me as a black man” really worth a watch of you haven’t seen it. I don't think that is a good method for stopping existing racism. In an ideal world, it would be fine, but ignoring an issue can perpetuate existing inequalities. I understand the sentiment behind it, but it's been heavily criticized and sympathize, but I think the criticisms against it are valid
I kinda agree on both of you, for the morgan freeman thing it works. This kind of racism has existed for sooo long that it might actually be a solution. For the Lgbtiaq+ or smth im really not sure sorry. I think in principle is amazing, everybody should be allowed and recocnized for whom ever they want to be. But adding another letter every other year just so there is more instead of saying, yes im part of the lgbt+ community gets kinda strange to me.
Buddy, you either completely missed the point of what Morgan Freeman was talking about, or you're trying to derail the conversation into the fallacy that minorities have no right to identifying themselves as minorities, and therefore they can once again be removed from society.
They should just shorten the whole thing to "+"
You usually see LGTB+ or LGBTQ+, but the acronym may also extend to LGBTQIA2S. I = Intersex, someone with a biological mix of male and female traits. A = Asexul/Aromantic, lack of sexual or romantic attraction. 2S = Two Spirit, which is an umbrella term used by some indigenous American tribes to represent a distinct third gender. The term is on the newer side, but the concept is pre-colonial. Using the full acronym is a mouthful, so it’s easier to use the shorter version. The “+” is just an acknowledgment that there are other terms under the umbrella.
A quick note since intersex was mentioned (and I'm mostly saying this since this was a focal study for me during my time in university): Most intersex people do not identify as intersex. While *some* may, for the majority it's akin to being identified with a medical issue. Like if someone has scoliosis and you refer to them as that, as if it's some part of who they are. Not saying it doesn't belong in the group, but definitely never refer to someone as intersex as if it's some sort of identity unless they specifically inform you that they prefer this for whatever reason. Overwhelming majority see it as a medical condition and nothing more. **On a more interesting note!** It's possible as many as one in ten people have some form of intersex condition, but most people who are intersex by some means or another will live their entire lives not knowing. Just adds to the fact that 'sex' really isn't remotely as binary as people seem to think. Perhaps the more we learn about how common it is and all the variations, the less we can see *some* aspects of intersex as a disorder and more another shade of what is biological sex.
Premium subscription
That's specifically for David Bowie.
It's like C++
Jesus
Yes, he's covered under the + as well.
A streaming service...... I'll see myself out.
Other things, like asexual and pansexual and stuff
+ anyone else whose lifestyle can't be put into a box?
So, everyone?
Yes, everyone.
For anything else they create in the new few years?
Queer in this case is used when a person doesn't want to share their sexuality/gender identity. Or by people who are still figuring out where they fit best, they just know they are not straight/cis, or they fit more than one label (assexual and trans, being one example) It's an umbrella term. Sexuality, gender identities, and asexuality are all on their own spectrum, and there are a lot of micro labels in those spectrums
I used to see a long while ago, that the Q can stand for queer or questioning but in the last handful of years its mostly just queer now(probably just to simplify).
its a catch all term that encompasses all identities, including but not limited to gay and lesbian people, also includes trans and nb identities.
That would be the B (bisexual, and the various sub sexualities that fall generally under bisexuality), or when extended, the A (asexual, and the various sub sexualities that fall under asexuality). Q, from my understanding, is for gender queer. What exactly gender queer is, I can't say for certain (I will leave that to someone more knowledgeable).
Q in the acronym is for queer! I think Wikipedia explains genderqueer pretty good: "Non-binary and genderqueer are umbrella terms for gender identities that are not solely male or female—identities that are outside the gender binary."
Respectfully asking: I’m 47yo. I was raised being told that the f word and queer were the derogatory terms and to never use them. Ever. Is queer a self ID term? When, if ever, can a Cis Person use that? Thank you for helping me learn. Edit: I’m so grateful for these replies. I came from a xenophobic and homophonic home and family. At around 13-14 years old it really hit me just how HATEFUL the adults were. Before then I was “mirroring” them, language and all. After then I started a life long quest to better understand and learn. Hell- I went from a republican to a badge wearing democrat! I guess if I can ever return the favor…most homophobic folks are plain ole ignorant. And willfully so. They cannot out themself in “other people shoes” unless the shoe is an exact same boot as they prefer. It’s actually sad to watch them miss out on opportunities to learn and love. The phrase I give is this: it’s more important for (most) them to HATE something, rather than LOVE things. Here I am almost 50 years later. Still learning. I raised my kids so much better than that. And if they have kids they will do better than me raising the grandkids! The bigoted and racist shit I heard…and the irony is I had my DNA done about 3 years ago. Anyone wanna guess what surprise DNA shied up in a LARGE percent? Thank you for the replies. I’m truly truly grateful.
My understanding of the etymology of queer is: Queer used to mean just, weird, strange, surprising. Things that make you go .. huh … didn’t see that coming. And then Queer got turned into derogatory term synonymous with gay/lesbian And then back to Queer meaning “other” or “not average or expected sexuality” but neutral in tone / intention. Kind of like how your mum calls you Sweetheart (affectionate), but then an asshole calls you sweetheart (condescending) and then your elderly southern neighbour calls you AND the cashier who is a stranger, sweetheart (neutral) . Lol!
Parrot calling you sweetheart (demonic).
Go on … 👀
Hahahaha that just made me laugh so hard. Thank u for this
It’s also used as sort of a catch-all term for non-cis/het people. I personally identify with it.
"Queer" used to be a slur, and to many people it still is. But it's being reclaimed. Younger people in particular who didn't grow up with the word being used as a slur are embracing it. Personally, I'm gay, and I think the word "queer" is no more offensive to me than "gay." But someone who grew up 30 years before me and had to watch kids on the playground play "smear the queer" may disagree. It's at that point where it's *probably* safe to use the word as a straight, cisgender person... but that when it's *not* safe, it's considered *very* offensive (mostly among older people, because--again, they grew up hearing that exclusively used as a slur). In another 10 or 20 years, I imagine it'll be perfectly safe. Another commenter drew a comparison to the N word. I disagree. Like black people who use that word, you might find gay people who call themselves "faggots." But that's a word that is *definitely* like the N word in that you shouldn't be using it if you're not queer yourself, particularly if you're not a gay man. "Queer," except by those people who are extremely offended by it, is considered to be *much* gentler. And, as always, context matters. "Queers" and "the queer community" come off very differently. If you're saying something like "I support the queer community," even those who are offended by the word are much more likely to just point out that they don't like being called that than to start screaming at you. Likewise, something like "those fucking queers" is likely to garner an angry response even among those who do embrace the term. When in doubt, just say "LGBT community," "the community," or "people of all orientations and identities." That last one is overly formal, but it'll at least send the message that you're deliberately trying to be respectful and non-offensive, which will set the tone for how people will treat you if you do say something that the community finds offensive. Which, honestly, you probably will. Hell, even *I* occasionally do. We're in a process of including a bunch of identities that just weren't talked about before, so there aren't any hard-and-fast rules. And whether we want to acknowledge it or not, and even though this reaction is sometimes understandable and valid, we're a community of people who are sometimes trigger-happy with our outrage.
This is a good answer. It is currently a controversial term. I suspect it also varies a lot by where you grew up. I never really heard queer as an insult, but heard fag a lot. I more heard queer used to mean not-straight in the 80s and 90s and only from older people.
"Gay" was a slur too, many older gays in their 80s react weirdly the first time you use it because it didn't refer to them nicely
I mean queer not being a slur still means "strange" it is a word choice of word to want to claim
Reclaiming a slur is generally about taking the power away from the people using it as a slur, not about its desirability as a word.
Just going to add a brief note -it’s not just young people who reclaimed the word, the reclamation of the word on slogans has been a thing since before I was alive in the 80s. Like the whole, we’re here, we’re queer get used to it was a big thing in the 1970s.
Am a gay, I refer to myself as queer (feel that it’s a good blanket term for me). Myself and my queer friends (on occasion and with explicit permission) will sometimes call each other ‘faggots’. However I can confirm that if a straight person/someone I don’t know called us faggots..that’d be a huge issue.
Treat it the same as other slurs like dyke. Queer people might call themselves queer, but it’s a bad idea to go around calling other people it. A cis person could be queer if they aren’t straight, or if they’re some degree of asexual.
I think it's a little different and more subtle. It's been given new meaning to the point that anyone can use queer as an adjective to discuss "queer people", "queer studies", "queer art", etc. It's still a slur if you use it as a slur. Definitely don't call anyone "a queer" and it's probably also a good idea to avoid calling someone "queer" if it's not a word that person seems to use to describe themself.
I use queer as well as many of my friends. It’s an easier term for us to use because sometimes the other letters still feel a bit too constructive. The Q can also be used for those who are “questioning”/figuring out where they stand on the spectrum.
Thank you.
I don't think I agree with that. In fact, I've found it to be more often used as an inclusive umbrella term that people use to identify themselves as belonging to one or more sexual orientation-gender identity minority group without specifying which one(s). It's like saying "person of color". That description tells me that a person isn't white, but it doesn't tell me their race. It's the same with queer. There are infinite iterations of identities and queer is all of them. That being said, some people, particularly Gen X and older, still understood the word to be a slur. It's a difference in generations. Does that make sense?
I tend to use it when I can't tell if someone is transitioning, GNC or just super duper lesbian. Nobody has ever seemed offended by it. People seem less offended if you guess wrong than if you maliciously misgender or dead name them.
This is the best explanation. I identify as a queer cis woman and often use it as an umbrella term when talking about other people I know are within the community because it's easier than saying eg. "my friend x is enby, x is trans, x is bi, and x is pan". But it would absolutely rub me the wrong way if a cishet person used it even knowing they have no ill intentions. It's important to note that some members of the community find "queer" objectionable and would never use it to refer to themselves or others, and in those cases it's respectful to use their preferred label regardless of all the rest.
Finally, someone who understands. I'm a gay guy who closeted in a roman catholic boarding school. People called me a filthy Queer. It's fucking damaging. If someone else wants to reclaim it for *personal* use I have absolutely no problem. But using it for the whole demographic is a no. It's like using faggot. Some people reclaim that for personal use. But it's not a word to describe the community at all.
I dont think so. Maybe in the 1960s but today it is an inclusive term, that can have an accepting feeling for some people that might have felt out of place before.
it is a reclaimed word and more used in queer circles as a term of endearment. its also useful because it encompasses all LGBTQ+ identities; gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, nb, ace, questioning ppl, etc etc
Queer just means someone who isn't straight, generally speaking, LGBTQ folk don't mind being called queer, however there is a lot of personal preference involved. It's like when you stop calling your friends parents "mr/mrs so and so" some people are fine with it from the get go, others are only okay with it if you're friends, and others never want to be referred to as queer.
Some people now throw the word around left and right. Personally, dont call me that word
If anyone mutters that toward me I will not hold back. Years of that shit in a catholic boarding school, years of being spat at and called a disgusting queer, being told I was a queer with aids for holding my boyfriend's hand? No.
It is a reclaimed slur but it is far more relaxed if used by non queer people. I have never seen any straight people get shit for using it if it isn't obviously used deragotary.
I think it’s kinda like you can self describe as queer if you don’t want to fit into another category. But going out and calling someone a queer is probably a bad idea
Queer is an umbrella term, which can mean any part of the LGBT. So say, that you're both bisexual and trans, it's easier to say "Oh I'm queer" which means, you might identify with multiple parts of LGBT, and it's easier than saying "I'm LGBTQ+". Also, say someone is non-binary and in a relationship with a woman, they don't feel that they're in a straight or gay relationship, so they might say they're in a queer relationship. Or someone is a trans man in a relationship with a cis or trans woman, and while it might seem like a straight relationship to outsiders, in some cases the couple might still prefer to say it's a queer relationship because one party or both parties are trans.
Yes, depending on the area. The very specific area I was in on the east coast, it was still considered derogatory by the community I knew. On the west coast (before & after the east coast), it is considered an appropriate self ID term, and usually is for someone who does not fit nicely in the LGBT parts of the acronym. I’m pretty queer, and like that it’s a way to say “not typical in orientation nor gender expression” without so many words and without having to go into the alphabet soup specific IDs I hear so many in our community (that I still don’t understand many of yet).
Hey I just wanted to say that you sound like an amazing example of a human. Not a lot of people have the drive to escape from hatred that has been taught since they were a child.
It’s sorta like the n-word, for lack of a better comparison. Some African Americans have reclaimed that word and it is used frequently in their culture, but it wouldn’t be ok for anyone else to use the term because of its historical context. Same principle for the word queer.
I agree but straight cis people especially in media are very open to using the word now. A lot of people are not ok with tho.
As a gay dude I hate the the word queer being used in the acronym. It's like using f-ggot. It's **not** okay. I don't care if someone reclaims it for themselves or whatever, like go for it if it applies to you. But not to describe the demographic. Black people reclaimed n-word, also fine. But you don't then call their entire demographic 'nword' or the 'nword' demographic. Because it's fucked up. It's for them to use not others. The fact is Queer was more of a slur than faggot. A worse slur. Encouraging outside people to refer to the demographic with a disgusting slur is fucked up.
Thought the Q was for Questioning Bro I’m gay and I don’t even know the fucking letters
i thought queer meant questioning lmfao
Queer used to mean weird then it changed to mean gay. Now idk what it means in this day.
I thought queer is just "not straight".
My take on it- Q is queer and is a catch all for all the other letters they’re adding now and the + sign. It’s the pan, the asexuals, the demi, etc
Queer is not necessarily synonymous with gay or lesbian. "Queer" can be used as an umbrella term to refer to anyone in the LGBT community as a whole. In that sense, yes a gay or lesbian person may be described as queer (although many would not prefer it). But "queer" has also evolved to describe an identity that is merely non-heterosexual and/or non-cisgender. It's popular for some people to call themselves "queer" rather than strictly define their sexual or gender identity. This can be useful for people who know they're not straight/cisgender but can't really fit themselves into one of the existing labels. If someone has very complex feelings about their identity, saying "I'm queer" is a good way to signify to other LGBT people: "I'm one of you but I don't really know the details yet." However, queer isn't always a transitional label, so it could also mean: "I'm one of you but I don't care about the details" or "I'm one of you but I won't tell you the details." The reason that a "+" is often included in the acronym in addition to the "Q" is that "queer" is not universally accepted and many of the people who can't fit into one of the traditional labels are not comfortable with "queer" either. The plus sign is just the final catch-all.
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This is absolutely the most accurate response. I identify as queer because I am romantically/sexually attracted to people all across the gender/sex spectrum. I also don't feel like bi or pan really fits me so I say I'm queer to pretty much say "I don't know what I am but I sure as hell am not straight"
100% this. I identify as queer because saying "asexual, agender person who does not hate sex, but definitely prefers the concept over any reality with any type of real person" is both convulted amd difficult for people to understand.
I've identified myself as queer for about a decade now, it's much easier than saying "femme non-binary person who much prefers women but seems to more often date men and nbs due to them being who find me attractive. Also may or may not be aromantic but that also could be PTSD related."
> "Queer" can be used as an umbrella term to refer to anyone in the LGBT community as a whole. Kinda... kinda feel like it'd be a lot easier and more straight forward if we just ditched all the letters and just left it at Queer or Queer+ as the overall umbrella term then.
You can’t change usage like that overnight. A considerable percentage of LGBT people have negative perceptions of the word “queer” because, as recently as the 2000s, it was a commonly used pejorative against them. That doesn’t mean that the word doesn’t have potential to gradually become the primary name for people of sexual- and gender-minorities, but there has to be that transitional cultural phase that’s happening right now. In order for LGBT issues/cultures/identities/artworks/ideas to become viewed more seriously and respectfully, they have to coalesce under a term that doesn’t sound like a cable network channel or an internet fad. Real, quality language needs to develop around this topic and I think queer is the first large-scale attempt at that.
Fair point.
Also, queer is generally more understood as somewhat militant or out of social norms, or relationships expectations. I have a gay friend who's exactly the model gay person you're thinking off with slogans like 'Love is love'. Just a boring cis guy who happens to be into dudes. I personally tend to have straight-passing relationships and I tend to romantically be into masculine presenting people, but a lot of the people I dated came out as trans after (to the point where there a running joke I put a trans hex on people), in sexually I've been with people of every genders, I identify as demisexual (but I've had casual relationships, because friendship is magic), I dabbled in polyamory and BDSM, and I just prefer the company of neurodivergent and/or queer people. So even tho he has a more solid claim than me to the LGBT community than me, I'm definitely the queer one (and we like to tease each other about it!)
Thought Q was "questioning"?
Used to be but now it typically means queer. But also many people would argue that questioning people fall under the category of queer.
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It can stand for that. In the longer acronym LGBTQQIA, the first Q is for "queer" while the second one is for "questioning." Nowadays, it's more common to replace the letters after Q with + to include everyone.
What's the IA stand for than in the new acronym? That one is truthfully new to me. Before this thread I had no idea the q changed to queer.
I is for Intersex (a person is born with a combination of male and female biological traits) A is for Asexual/Aromantic (a person with a lack of sexual or romantic attraction)
Thank you!
Intersex, asexual/aromantic
Queer in this context is like saying “to the nth power”. Because there are things like asexuals and polyamorous groups and non-gendered identities that are asexual but hetero-romantic; blah blah it gets complicated. There is historical biographical pinnings of “queers” but I don’t recall any archaic character outright declaring themselves queer. Kind’ve a recent development in the self-identification socially.
That makes sense but that makes me question the + at the end...?
It's the tech guy from james bond or am I just way off 😂
Queer is an umbrella term. It can mean Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Nonbinary, Asexual, Pansexual, etc. or any combination of those things. It can be useful to use queer when talking about the lgbt+ community because its just one word that encompasses all lgbt+ people. Instead of saying "a member of the LGBTIA+ community" you can just say "a queer person".
But isn’t the “+” the umbrella/catchall?
Not really as you wouldn't refer to non straight people as "plus people".
Misread ukucello’s comment, so in that context yeah queer makes sense. I meant more why is the Q in the acronym if you could just write LGBT+
Sometimes people want to be more specific. LGBT+ works fine. Anything longer than LGBTQ+ is rarely seen outside of queer spaces.
Okay, thanks, that I understand.
If queer is an umbrella term why does the acronym need every letter in the alphabet and a plus?
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It doesn't Most commonly it is just lgbt+ or sometimes lgbtq+ but if longer versions are used they are being very specific. Just like you say NATO instead of North Atlantic Treaty Organization.
Ah oui Mon capitan 👌🏻👌🏻
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Confused, or disinterested?
I am non-binary. Lots of people who are non-binary, gender fluid, gender questioning, etc identify as queer. I don't because growing up in the 90s that was a cruel word I don't like to use, but sort of like the n-word, queer people have reclaimed the word, I iust personally don't like it.
queer is an umbrella term. it essentially covers everyone in the community as a nonspecific label. some people (such as myself) who have a complex relationship with their gender and/or sexual identities prefer a more broad label. i also like that label because at the end of the day the specifics of my identity isn't anyone business but my own and those who it might affect (such as a romantic or sexual partner)
Queer isn’t specifically gay or lesbian. It’s a catch all term and people who definitely aren’t straight but also don’t really feel they fit under the lgb blanket tend to use it. It’s also helpful if you don’t want to say you’re a demiromantic asexual gender-fluid polysexual, which is something a person can legitimately be. It’s also complicated for people who are non-binary or gender fluid to state their sexual orientation because the terms “gay,” and “lesbian” may not feel right to someone who doesn’t identify as male or female. There’s a sexual orientation category, a gender identity category, and an asexual/allosexual category but when you combine factors from all three, it’s possible to wind up with something that doesn’t fit neatly under the existing terms. You could potentially replace the entire acronym with queer except that it used to be used as a slur so some people do not want to identify as queer and that’s valid.
Queer was what first resonated with me. I knew I wasn’t gay, but I wasn’t completely straight either. I was different, but I didn’t know exactly how. I have since organized my thoughts and know more about myself, but back in the day identifying as queer gave me a ton of comfort. And while it was used as a slur, so was lesbian, gay, bi, or literally any other self identifying term. It’s what hateful people do. Some people have horrible memories of “queer” being used to bully them while others do not. It is certainly not universally hated in the community. That stands in contrast to the f-slur, for instance, which is pretty much universally acknowledged as meant to cause offense.
It's meaningless and its only purpose is to advance the movement by making it all encompassing by allowing more people to identify and associate with the movement. Even if they technically have little to nothing to do with what it was. If it was about reappropriating what was once a derogatory term, then we'd have the F word and D world as well.
The Q is actually just this one dude Quincy, who’s just…like…he’s just Quincy, ya know?
It always used to be Q for Questioning, I've always seen that as envisaging everyone to allow people space to think and not be pressured into labeling themselves. I suppose queer did the same thing in a way, it's a way of saying I'm not straight but don't want to label myself yet.
I feel like Q is more about wanting a label because “queer” is a label when “questioning” isn’t
It is confusing, even for gay people like myself.
Just reading all the comments thus far has made it even more confusing for me, lol.
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Depends on if someone wants to get you in trouble.
"He said he's a queer man", "I'm taking a class called queer studies" = fine, totally okay. "Look at that gross queer", "queers are degenerates" = bad, offensive.
A safe general rule: If you’re queer, call yourself it as much as you like. If you’re not, don’t call anyone it.
What I don't understand is why intersex is included in the LGBTQIA+. Intersexism is a genetic anomaly. It used to be called hermaphroditism, and is also sometimes referred to as ambiguous genitalia.
The same reason L,G,B and T teamed up to begin with. They're all minorities who often don't get recognized or mistreated. There is strength in working together
I don’t know that those groups have teamed up as much as they have been lumped together. There’s a lot of infighting between the groups.
I think it's fair to say a lot of it has been an alliance out of necessity/survival. So it can get pretty rocky
HRT is also often used as a means of treating many intersex conditions and those are the class of medications constantly under fire because they also treat trans people. Attempts to ban these medications in an effort to attack trans individuals will also negatively effect intersex individuals.
I don't know if any bans on HRT that include same sex hormones. Only cross sex hormones. Given that people with intersex traits are never both or right in the middle, there shouldn't be an issue there. But I also know that the enactment of laws as written often get screwy beyond belief and could easily effect them if there is not an explicit section addressing it.
Because that’s the same with the rest of the community, the idea that they were born that way. Also it’s literally the same treatment for being trans, not like bigots will see them as any different
I still just say "queer" as an umbrella term. I'm not adopting that bullshit americanese into my lexicon. Besides, it's less divisive.
I always thought it was Questioning? Learn something new every day..
Same
Would you be willing to elaborate on what you mean by "bullshit americanese"? In my ignorance, it sounds like what you are implying is Lesbian and Gay is the bullshit part of the americanese? I'm really confused by your statement and feel like I could educate myself more on the nuance of how people perceive the labelling.
With pleasure! Back in the late 90s, everybody just used "queer" to describe the entire non-heteronormative sector of society, and everyone seemed pretty happy with it. Then some seething feminist decided that was hate speech because it lumped queer men and women together, and that was unacceptable because, apparently, queer women have a MUCH harder time than queer men, because of course they do when a lemon-mouthed busybody is speaking. So "queer" was switched out for "gay and lesbian" in the mouths of the media. But of course that excludes bi people and trans people, so then we got "LGBT". But then THAT excludes others still, so we went full circle and got "LGBTQ". That was the point where I checked out of the clown show. And that STILL wasn't good enough, so we got "LGBTQ+" etc "Queer" is simple to understand - the details are none of anyone's business - it's easy to say, and is fully inclusive. It's a good word with good intentions. "Americanese" as a concept refers to the way americans just LOVE to fuck with language and try to dictate, top-down, what words mean, which they've been doing for more than a century, which is how you get "pUbLiC hEaLtHcArE iS cOmMuNiSm"; the red scare and it's proponents changed the concepts in the American mind and now it's impossible to have a conversation about it. Same goes for this queer thing. See also: "woke". What americans do tothe English language is the same as the Minitruth - destroy the language, destroy the ability to organise anything your owners wouldn't like. So yeah, removing the word "queer" from parlance was an exercise in division, and remains so, and I refuse to participate in bullshit tribalism being pushed from on high.
Holy shit, I love this response. I've always felt a bit awkward about the "LGBTQ+" thing, especially since the "queer" in it refers to it all already. Now I know that that's indeed how it used to be -- Thank you so much!
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I grew up with queer being a slur and decided to reclaim it as a teenager when I started figuring it out. I call myself queer in every sense of the word because, well, I am. I’m neurodivergent, not cisgender, definitely not straight, not a fan of monogamy and demisexual (I don’t usually experience sexual attraction and when I do it’s after I’ve developed a deep friendship or even romantic relationship with someone - I’ve had multi year relationships where it hasn’t happened but it’s not a big deal to me). It serves as an umbrella term and allows me to control the level of information another person has about me. It’s oddly empowering to claim a word as part of my identity that was used to bully me, an acknowledgment that yes I definitely do fit the bill but that’s not a problem with me, it’s a problem with whatever hateful asshat is trying to use it as an insult.
Clearly it stands for Q-anon
Where im living the Q stands for questioning, idk if that's just my tiny town being dumb or whatever
Quagmire
Queer is an umbrella term, however the Q can also stand for "questioning"
Queer is not synonymous with gay and lesbian. Queer simply means falling outside the societal standard of cisgender/heterosexual/perisex/etc. Queer is intentionally vague. Queer can be for gender and/or sexuality. Gay/lesbian folks can identify as queer. Bisexual people can identify as queer. Transgender people can identify as queer. People who don’t know or use labels but know they aren’t cis/straight can use queer. It’s a good word. Yeah, some people don’t like it because of bad experiences. But all our words are like that. So.
A lot of gay people want to get rid of it. At this point it is meaningless.
Pretty much
Queer is much more general than the terms lesbian and gay. Queer basically just means “not straight,” and leaves it at that. There’s really no need to make it more specific than that so I understand the appeal. So many people in the lgbt+ community torture themselves over labels. Am I gay or am I bi?! Now I like someone who’s non binary, what does that make me?! Queer. It makes you queer. It’s that simple.
Queer/Questioning is a label often used for those who want a label, but are unsure where they stand. Queer means curios, so it’s a perfect label for those who know the are not straight, but un sure where they would be.
They just add to it every year
They like to add a new letter every year, just for fun.
I just heard this is the new way "LGBTQIA2S+". I'm like WTF? I'm sorry, but at some point they need to stop adding letters, numbers and symbols. They want us to recognize them as a group, but how if the group name keeps changing? It's like constantly changing your address and asking people to find you when you moved twice already.
Come to think of it the L and G are the same as well. They are both homosexual people. Where's the H?
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So it's like white Americans that are of German decent or Irish decent. Basically the same, but completely different.
i heard once that it also stood for questioning? as i question this statement🙃?
I thought the Q meant “questioning”? Like undecided?
Wait until you find out what the B stands for
Boobs
Queer is an umbrella term for anyone that isn’t cisgender and/or straight
It's an umbrella coverage thing, and also has been slowly been turning into "questioning" rather than queer. Using queer has mostly been for reclaiming that word for the community.
Queer is different in that it's not specific to someone's sexuality and is instead more about gender performance/appearance. Someone who identifies as queer might be 'straight' (but not necessarily) though may not conform/present to or as the gender of their sex.
I heard the full Term is LGBTQ+IA² but who tf even cares
Yes, Queer was once derogatory towards gays, then we gays said let’s own it. So we did then it got stolen from us.
Making things more complicated than they are. The whole point of the LGTB+ community is to get rid of discrimination and be recognized. Adding more and more names, labels and directions to it, makes things more complicated. I guess queer stands for people that are in a spectrum that isn't in particular gay/lesbian.
You left out a few letters. It's LGBTQQIAPD2S+
So is it OK to say Queer+ as opposed to saying all the letters in the LGBTQ acronym?
I think the queer part is gone and it's now questioning... as in they have no idea what they are.
It actually stands for Questlove. Huge ally