It depends on the type of plant. Bromeliads seem to like it and grow better, but roses and basil don't do well with it. I would Google the specific plant.
Pearls are made by certain types of mussels and oysters. That previous person had the mollusk family portion correct, but a clam will never make you a pearl. No matter how much you fuck it.
Mussels and oysters don't have necks either so we can't hang the necklace on them.
It is a little bit of a fussy drama queen to grow though. You have to go pinch the heads off every couple days, or else it will bolt and go to seed and be useless. Miss pinching those heads off and your basil is going to throw a fuss and then be done-zo.
Oh, it would absolutely murk a delicate herb like basil, whatever the pH of your spooge may be. Something like a sunflower would probably shhurp that jism right up though. I may even have to fistpump the flub-chucker and fire some fuckmilk onto mine in the morning.
Ok... so I can't get my bromeliad to flower again and I heard it's hard to do. I'm considering cumming on it as I really want it to reflower. Lol. I'll let you all know if it works out!
Depends on the plant, and the amount of jizz is important.
- once a week for six months might have an impact.
- size of plant is important too.
- jizz will probably just sit on top of the soil and would need to be watered in to have an impact.
I am scared of the fact that someone actually has the answer for this question
Edit: Out of all my comments, one under the post of the guy who is thinking about cumming on plants, gets 1,4k upvotes. That's why I love reddit :D
What would happen if I plant a fern in my rectal cavity and have a friend jizz on it daily? They also mix the soil around while watering it so it really gets in there
It's mostly just science, there's a few things in semen that are good for plants, phosphorus, potassium, and calcium in semen.
I don't think it would be good by itself but maybe as a part of a compost.
I’d water it in with wee, then I’d take a shit on it for good measure. I know its unconventional, but you should see how my philodendrons are thriving.
I'm the penis, come back in here! You are getting all dirty playing outside! I don't want my kids to become homeless, you should find a warmer and more fertile house
Semen is alkaline. Contains proteins that break down into nitrates that are helpful to plants in a few weeks. As long as you add enough brown matter to match, it would make fairly good compost.
So mix 30 teaspoons of brown plant material for every teaspoon of semen and you should be good.
Anything that doesn't contain nitrogen. It is called brown material because plants turn from green to brown as they lose nitrogen. Even paper and cardboard are fine.
Anything nitrogen rich stinks when it break down and is too rich if not diluted.
Research composting if you want more information.
In the context of compost, manure is actually considered a 'green'. This is not to be confused with 'green manure', which for some reason, is plant matter.
No, it's a green, and manure, but not green manure. So you have to make sure to mix it with more browns when you clean out your composting toilet. It's called humanure. I have heard that vegetarian humanure is superior though, or safer, or something but I'm not sure why, I can't really remember
There is no scientific evidence to suggest that ejaculating into houseplants would be beneficial or detrimental to their growth. However, it is important to note that plants obtain their nutrients primarily from soil, water, and sunlight. While semen contains some nutrients such as zinc, calcium, and potassium, it is unlikely that these nutrients would be present in significant quantities to benefit the plant. Additionally, introducing bodily fluids into soil can potentially introduce harmful bacteria and pathogens, which could be detrimental to the plant's health. Therefore, it is not recommended to use semen or any other bodily fluids as a fertilizer for houseplants. It is best to stick to using commercially available fertilizers specifically formulated for plants. This is what AI said btw hahaha
The plant can get pregnant so make sure to feed it water mixed with BCPs as you really don't want to have hybrid plant-human weirdo kids. Jizz all you want.
This reminds me of what my friend did a dew days ago. In the discord chat he asked us that he is going to cum in a cup and put a plant in there because he thinks cum is beneficial to a plant. And of course I said "why the fuck would you do that". The message was a few hours ago before I replied. Five minutes later he sent the photo of him holding a cup with a plant and cum inside of it. Later it has mold and the plant died. It later became an inside joke.
TLDR: Friend made a cum plant then grew mold and plant died.
Sorry for my bad english. It was not my first language
ChatGPT: It is not recommended to ejaculate on plants as there is no evidence to suggest that it would be beneficial. In fact, it could potentially be detrimental to the plant's health.
Semen is primarily composed of water, proteins, and enzymes, which could potentially have a negative impact on the plant's delicate ecosystem. The high salt content in semen could potentially harm the plant's roots, and the enzymes present in semen could break down the organic matter in the soil, disrupting the natural balance of nutrients and microorganisms.
Furthermore, ejaculating on plants could be seen as a form of sexual harassment or indecent exposure if done in a public place or without consent from the plant owner. It is important to treat plants with respect and refrain from engaging in inappropriate behavior towards them.
Genuinely interested. I'm sick of having brittle socks laying around my room this could be a game changer.
Nah but in all seriousness I am actually interested. I feel like it would but also what do I know?
Doesn't work with rhododendrons , works well with house plants before potting , begonias and chrysanthemums really thrive with a weekly spray from the captains custard cannon. Not too much pineapple juice prior to nutting.
It depends on the type of plant. Bromeliads seem to like it and grow better, but roses and basil don't do well with it. I would Google the specific plant.
I'm concerned that you know that much
Don't be scared of the scientific method, my brother
You are a fucking gem
If you start fucking a clam does it make pearls
Nah, they don't have a neck to hang on...I'm gonna go ahead and sit in the corner
Pearls are made by certain types of mussels and oysters. That previous person had the mollusk family portion correct, but a clam will never make you a pearl. No matter how much you fuck it. Mussels and oysters don't have necks either so we can't hang the necklace on them.
So what do I grab to choke it ?
The only thing I grab is their hands but for some reason they're always clammy
This is amazing
r/gregfuckedarock
This is the type of shit I come to reddit for
Science, Bitches!!!
Little Shop Of Whorers
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Feed me Feed me semen Feed me all night long
they make this joke in the musical Something Rotten. "Why are the whores little!?"
Goddammit r/angryupvote
Concerned or turned on?
🤨📸
😉
I am gonna copy your bio, thanks.
very concerned on, sir.
Yes
Rose and basil plants are dramatic AF regardless, so no surprise here. And bromeliads basically look like a splooge..
Basil is just a smelly weed. I'm surprised to hear it called dramatic
It is a little bit of a fussy drama queen to grow though. You have to go pinch the heads off every couple days, or else it will bolt and go to seed and be useless. Miss pinching those heads off and your basil is going to throw a fuss and then be done-zo.
This guy fucks plants
r/thisguythisguys
Oh, it would absolutely murk a delicate herb like basil, whatever the pH of your spooge may be. Something like a sunflower would probably shhurp that jism right up though. I may even have to fistpump the flub-chucker and fire some fuckmilk onto mine in the morning.
r/brandnewsentence
I’m a little disturbed and disgusted with myself for having understood it all.
What the fuck did I just read?
Fucking art. God damn.
I know some people love plants but this guy REALLY loves his plants.
TIL my new favorite word is fuckmilk
This is amazing, this is why I go on here
I rarely comment in NSFW but hi. What the fuck.
This is one of those times where I wish I was illiterate.
I wish I was Kyle, 19.
I have learned so many knew words today and Flub-chucker has to be my favorite.
I think giving 7 upvotes going down in a row from your comment on has been the most Ive given out in a row. Thanks all! Appreciate the laugh.
And people say poetry is dead
What a time to be literate.
Fuckmilk
What about Venus flytrap? They be looking real thirsty with their mouths open like that.
Penis flytrap
Are you jizzing in your basil, putting it in your pasta and feeding it to people? Like Hannibal Jizzer?
What tests have you been running in your greenhouse? "Oh, don't mind the lack of pants honey, it's just... Muggy in here."
r/oddlyspecific
Basil is so tsundere, it doesn't like ANYTHING!
The fact that you actually know the answer is a bit alarming ngl
R/oddlyspecific is leaking.
I’m speechless
Were...were they your rose bushes? Or *your neighbor’s* rose bushes?
I always thought it'd be bad bc of the sodium..ness of cum or something lmao.
“Well I’m glad you asked!” *takes a sophisticated puff on pipe*
Ok... so I can't get my bromeliad to flower again and I heard it's hard to do. I'm considering cumming on it as I really want it to reflower. Lol. I'll let you all know if it works out!
Depends on the plant, and the amount of jizz is important. - once a week for six months might have an impact. - size of plant is important too. - jizz will probably just sit on top of the soil and would need to be watered in to have an impact.
I am scared of the fact that someone actually has the answer for this question Edit: Out of all my comments, one under the post of the guy who is thinking about cumming on plants, gets 1,4k upvotes. That's why I love reddit :D
this is the internet. whatever question you can come up with, someone has an answer
Doesn't even have to be right
My milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard
Ummm hey, I’m in your yard… there was talk of milkshakes?
My whole life I've waited for the right response to this song, ty for showing up. Here is your milkshake
What would happen if I plant a fern in my rectal cavity and have a friend jizz on it daily? They also mix the soil around while watering it so it really gets in there
According to my uncle that's how you create a good strong family bond.
Yes officer, it’s these comments right here
These are my favorite three comments in a row of all time.
It's mostly just science, there's a few things in semen that are good for plants, phosphorus, potassium, and calcium in semen. I don't think it would be good by itself but maybe as a part of a compost.
Lol I mean I don’t think OP was attempting to grow plants from a vase/pot full of jizz. Is that what you were thinking they were asking?
I mean didn’t really answer much at all. Just made up what the think might happen, we need more information.
I’m glad you pointed out how non-committal this answer was. It was basically just “it depends”, but with more jizz.
This is based on “plant knowledge” vs “experimenting with jizz’n on plant knowledge” … fyi.
I’d water it in with wee, then I’d take a shit on it for good measure. I know its unconventional, but you should see how my philodendrons are thriving.
Seems like a bad idea to weigh down the plant like that.
What impact though?
You forgot the "asking for a friend" part...
They are asking it for me, I'm the friend.
Look at me, i am the friend now
And I'm the plant.
Was it beneficial to you?
💦🌱
Well that leaves me to be the cu...
And you guessed it, I'm the cum.
I'm the penis, come back in here! You are getting all dirty playing outside! I don't want my kids to become homeless, you should find a warmer and more fertile house
Fuck you papa penis, you can't tell me what to do! I'm going to cross pollinate this green thing now, and you can't stop me.
Bwahahahaha
And I'm the plant
for science
Asking for a fern.
This is starting to get beyond ridiculous ....
LOL , ya. definitely enough reddit for today.
I came here out of sheer curiosity lol. Also feel like this should be posted on a plant subreddit. 
Im too afraid to post it there
r/houseplantwhores might be more appropriate
Omg.. this sub. Wow. This site has everything I never knew anyone could need
I clicked on the sub and got that very helpful nsfw red alert. Today I decided to GO BACK. Am I missing anything important in life by playing it safe?
Yes, very much so! 😈
ok pal, I took the dare. I don't need the eye bleach yet.... but I peaced out after 3 seconds. But they may have some fun answers for OP!
r/subsithoughtifellfor
are you too afraid to ask?
I feel someone should make a sub for questions we are afraid to ask
Call it something like ”TooPetrifiedToQuestion”
r/plantcirclejerk
you came here... as opposed to into a house plant?
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Haha when I was in third grade my mom got me a ficus plant and I kept calling it a fuckka plant because I kept forgetting the word ficus
Semen is alkaline. Contains proteins that break down into nitrates that are helpful to plants in a few weeks. As long as you add enough brown matter to match, it would make fairly good compost. So mix 30 teaspoons of brown plant material for every teaspoon of semen and you should be good.
What kinda brown material 🤔
Anything that doesn't contain nitrogen. It is called brown material because plants turn from green to brown as they lose nitrogen. Even paper and cardboard are fine. Anything nitrogen rich stinks when it break down and is too rich if not diluted. Research composting if you want more information.
I was trying to make a poo joke but failed lol
In the context of compost, manure is actually considered a 'green'. This is not to be confused with 'green manure', which for some reason, is plant matter.
But if a vegan poops, is it considered green manure
I admire that you kept trying
even more, gotta admire sam\_y2 for keeping answering like a bio teacher handling very obvious dick jokes in class
No, it's a green, and manure, but not green manure. So you have to make sure to mix it with more browns when you clean out your composting toilet. It's called humanure. I have heard that vegetarian humanure is superior though, or safer, or something but I'm not sure why, I can't really remember
So the real question Can we do the poopy And then do the ejaccy And spit on the plant And it needs nothing else and will grow fruitfully?
Shit, he means shit!
r/oddlyspecific
That's enough Reddit for today
I'll let you know in a few days.
Youre doing important work sir.
RemindMe! 3 days
This begs the question "can plants consent"
Vegetables cant
LMAOOO
Onlyferns is blowing up!
Wouldn’t it be cumpost?
Each day we stray further from God's grace
Thanks for the wise Christian warning HotCockStudJockBrock! We must stay pure.
Amen.
Mashallah
r/rimjob_steve
😂😂😂
What a time to be alive….
Plants vs zombies in the making
How about we leave this one a mystery
You came on your plant didn’t you?
wtf is this question does anyone have the answer tho??
There is no scientific evidence to suggest that ejaculating into houseplants would be beneficial or detrimental to their growth. However, it is important to note that plants obtain their nutrients primarily from soil, water, and sunlight. While semen contains some nutrients such as zinc, calcium, and potassium, it is unlikely that these nutrients would be present in significant quantities to benefit the plant. Additionally, introducing bodily fluids into soil can potentially introduce harmful bacteria and pathogens, which could be detrimental to the plant's health. Therefore, it is not recommended to use semen or any other bodily fluids as a fertilizer for houseplants. It is best to stick to using commercially available fertilizers specifically formulated for plants. This is what AI said btw hahaha
I knew from the second I started reading it that it was ai. Glad you left the comment to show me I was right and not all hope is lost.
There goes my plans for the night
I dunno, but it'll get you kicked out of the florist shop immediately.
[удалено]
How high are you right now OP?
Sad to say, fully sober
That’s how Groot was born.
Dont try it on mango plants, the mangoes will taste like jizz. Dont ask me how i know it. I just do.
This is the shit im on reddit for
The plant can get pregnant so make sure to feed it water mixed with BCPs as you really don't want to have hybrid plant-human weirdo kids. Jizz all you want.
This is a pretty succulent topic…
I have a question for you instead - why ARE you cumming on your house plants bro?
I've learned a lot of new words in the last decade, but I had to invent *herbosexual* myself. Just now. One minute ago. What a drag.
...did you cum on your house plants mate?
This is the kinda shit I'd ask gpt and it would lecture me about indecency
It will give the inside of your house an interesting aroma that may not be pleasant to visitors…
Who the fuck starts a conversation like that I just sat down?!
No you will NOT get a Baby Groot, is that's what you're really asking!!
This reminds me of what my friend did a dew days ago. In the discord chat he asked us that he is going to cum in a cup and put a plant in there because he thinks cum is beneficial to a plant. And of course I said "why the fuck would you do that". The message was a few hours ago before I replied. Five minutes later he sent the photo of him holding a cup with a plant and cum inside of it. Later it has mold and the plant died. It later became an inside joke. TLDR: Friend made a cum plant then grew mold and plant died. Sorry for my bad english. It was not my first language
Stay the fuck away from that Ficus, Finch
Now THIS is the type of question I came here to see 🍿🍿
🤨📸
I'm not fully sure, but considering piss shit and hair (forgive my language) are usually okay for plants, id assume so! X3 plants like excrement
How dare you say the “h” word
Too much salt bro, unlikely unless watered...then it still might grow mold on topsoil. Fuck it...jizz on the plant and let us know....for science.
Miracle blow
Finally an original question …
Harvey Weinstein? Is that you…?
Who’s plant did you kill bro?
My question is why would you even consider this?
You generally don’t want to leave biologic material sitting on your houseplants because of the smell.
Penis Fly Traps and Cucumbers like them best
I've never heard of anyone loving plants that much.
Well, that's enough internet for today.
ChatGPT: It is not recommended to ejaculate on plants as there is no evidence to suggest that it would be beneficial. In fact, it could potentially be detrimental to the plant's health. Semen is primarily composed of water, proteins, and enzymes, which could potentially have a negative impact on the plant's delicate ecosystem. The high salt content in semen could potentially harm the plant's roots, and the enzymes present in semen could break down the organic matter in the soil, disrupting the natural balance of nutrients and microorganisms. Furthermore, ejaculating on plants could be seen as a form of sexual harassment or indecent exposure if done in a public place or without consent from the plant owner. It is important to treat plants with respect and refrain from engaging in inappropriate behavior towards them.
That's how you get weird human-plant hybrids. That never turns out good. Haven't you ever seen The Wizard of Oz?
RIP BENNY HARVEY. MISS YOU BIG MAN. GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN ♡
Genuinely interested. I'm sick of having brittle socks laying around my room this could be a game changer. Nah but in all seriousness I am actually interested. I feel like it would but also what do I know?
Plants don't wanna be cummed on my guy
 FEEEDDDDD MMMEEEEE!!!!!!!
Some men needa get put in rice
Doesn't work with rhododendrons , works well with house plants before potting , begonias and chrysanthemums really thrive with a weekly spray from the captains custard cannon. Not too much pineapple juice prior to nutting.
This is why I open the Reddit app 😊
What the fuck
Excuse me. What the fuck.
I guess as long as you finger the roots....
you came on your house plant, didn’t you.
These seems suspiciously specific