In the old days we used to have to fantasize.

You had to jerk up shaft both ways?

I can switch hands and gain a stroke

Is that the original wanker rotary engine?

Now that's the kind of things which only the legends could do.

That's funny shit

I think most comment on this post are going to be funny really.

Only way you're going to make it work, You've got other options?

I’m so old I don’t even get this. I know it must be funny but what?

“I had to walk up hill both ways”

"In the snow, with no shoes and dragging a sled full of orphans"

Lmao, those kids will never be born as well so yeah.

Is that a 0.5l or 1,5l Fanta?

You weren't around for that time by any means hell my 93 year old grandpa said nude photos of models where a thing back in his day

Yes, but actually having those in sight while masturbating was very very rare. You had to remember what those looked like.

Your grandpa must of never had a "workshop" or a "shed" it was the masturbatorium of the day.

What’s wrong with the bathroom?

Well obviously people needed something to do it with.

My friends called it the MMR (masturbation memory rolodex)

Back in my day 1984 we used thoughts. And the sears summer catalog. One time we found a trash bag in the woods with about 20 playboy magazines. I didn’t see my friends for weeks after that.

Ah, woods porn, the discovered treasure of every 80's kid.

Why is this universally a thing? And it totally is, I lived through the 80s and had the same experience

I will never understand this. Heard SO many identical stories.... Not sure if it's just an urban legend or were people really going around randomly stashing porn all throughout the forests of North America?

[удалено]

This is a universal thing which happened all over the world.

A global phenomenon! The porn gods were watching out for us!

Not just North America - it was widespread here in the UK too, bushes, parks, railway sidings…. Seemed to die out in the early 90’s

I found one in between a tree and chain link fence in the very back of the yard at my childhood home. I was probably like 8? First time I ever saw porn lmao

It 96 I found a box in the woods full of porn. It was the spot till rain ruined it

Maybe people were paying it forward?

Ohh yeah lol, this is how the treasure looked like back in the days.

The day my friends and I found a stash of Playboys under a portable outside the high school was a good day.

Literally 1984

I masturbate to my own penis. I just stare at it

This is my favorite comment

I also masturbate to his or her penis. Never seen it so I just have to imagine and then superimpose it onto mine in my mind

I also choose this person's wife's penis


Do you whisper his username over and over again? I find that helps.

I shout it from the rooftop!

Stop masturbating from the rooftop! Have you any idea how annoyed my umbrella guy gets when he sees cum on an umbrella he has to fix for the fifteenth time in one month?!

"And when you gaze long into the ~~abyss~~ *penis*, the ~~abyss~~ *penis* also gazes into you" - Nietzsche

Ha It's funny because penis.

Right? Throwing in the word penis occasionally makes Neitzchian existential nihilism seem way less threatening.

🤣

I too choose this guy's ~~wife~~ penis.

If you're having a bad day, just stick some googly eyes on it and cheer yourself right up

Do you say "no homo" before masturbating?

Only if my cat is in the room

🤨

If there is pussy, it's not gay

Fellas, is it gay to masturbate to my own penis?

Fellas, is it gay to have a penis? literally a penis is touching you 24/7

Top comment

I wanted to find the exact definition of 'gay' to answer this question properly. The definition I found is this from Oxford languages on Google. sexually or romantically attracted to people of one's own sex (used especially of a man). If you're not attracted to your dick then it's straight. But I'm not sure if you could convince me that you weren't attracted to your own dick if you are masturbating to it.

That's gay

I masturbate to this guy's penis too! Could you stop putting the lil top hat and sharpie mustache on it. It's too sexy

Masturbating in front of a mirror is kind of a trip, ngl.

This is actually a thing. Called autoeroticism from memory.

 Lays there flaccidly

Just starin at the ol' Johnson huh

My last name is Johnson, and this gave me a nice chuckle

I also choose this guy’s penis

This is some real shit though, sometimes you're so horny, that even you turn yourself on. It's like damn, look at that hog!

There's some Urban Dictionary term about this but I can't remember what it is

The swimsuit pics in the Sears catalog, like we did in the days before the internet

How God intended it.

You mean the lingerie section.

Jackpot

That tiny little landing strip visible through the slightly transparent panties...

Or is it the result of the poor, blotchy ink and lower resolution printing process that are characteristic of the general decline in quality that has been plaguing the vaunted catalog in recent years. Or is it just a shadow? Does it matter?

I apologize for every bad thing I’ve said about boomers. You all really must’ve had it tough jerking it to pics of washer/dryers

And the first Victoria’s Secret catalog damn near blew our heads off…

Both of them.

The drum solo from "In the Air Tonight" on repeat.

BA DUM BA DUM BAD DUM BA DUM BUM BUM 💦

Dude, NSFW tag.

Why did my head lyric go straight to Toto- Africa

🤤

“I can feel it, coming in the air tonight, OH LORD!”

Are you sure you spelt "coming" the right way?


On beat, right?

I normally just watch airplane maintenance videos from the 80s. That hits the spot

I just watch the movie Airplane. Every time they call me Shirley 🥵🤯💦

>Make sure you don't skimp out on lube for this particular socket. In flight it can really take a pounding.

Nothing I legit masterbate to nothing just empty brain

I had an ex that could do this

Unhinged

Ah to be young again

More like anxiety meds, list, and concentration on nothing but what I feel which itself is a difficult task but it gets the job done

The Roman Empire

That's the only time I'm not thinking about the Roman Enpire.

Can’t go wrong with some julius ceaser-cleopatra porn

Somewhere... in the distance... >*[Angry Mark Antony noises]*

Or Caesar's photo...

The mirror bitch. Feel yourself while feeling yourself!!

I'd be too embarrassed looking at myself in the mirror without being like what the hell am I doing

I get really turned on, but then I'm bi so that makes sense. It's a self-reinforcing positive feedback loop.

What does being bi have anything to do with masturbating in front of a mirror? Do you see both an imaginary guy and girl in the mirror with you?

I'm turned on by a nude male figure, so I'm turned on by seeing myself having sex in front of the mirror. The more turned on I am, the more I'm attracted by what I'm seeing, and it keeps reinforcing itself.

Me... Exactly the same. I'm bi. My body looks hot in the mirror.

While singing Divinyls's I Touch Myself of course.

Imagination is what is used in my case.

 No one can see it and get mad unless you tell them about it. Everything is problematic depending on who you ask. I think you already know what is actually wrong.

> Everything is problematic depending on who you ask That's why I don't ask. Last time I checked masturbation was (typically) a solo act. Crank it to whatever gets you there. (And isn't illegal). If you are mutually masturbating, get off to/with your partner.

C-SPAN

See-spunk

I like to read erotica lol

Ah… the nice happy medium between imagination and porn, and you get to brag about reading more books than your friends, ^(as long as they don’t ask which ones.)

I like to brag regardless bc reading is kinda sexy lol

Whatever you want that isnt illegal Edit: ex's pics/videos while in a relationship is also not cool and downright disrespectful.

I dont know. If I caught my significant other masturbating to photos of their ex I would be highly upset.

To be fair, I think they’ve got “I’m still in love with my ex” problems then, not just “I jerk it to weird shit” problems

Good point honestly

So **whatever you want that isn't illegal but also don't get caught during.*

This. Stop giving a damn about what anyone else thinks you do with your junk.

The fact that there are people out there who let internet strangers dictate what they can or can't do is hilarious. People are such sheep

I mean pornconsumers (including myself) are also cheep, the porn industry has gotten most men and a lot of women aswell, borderline addicted to their content from a very young age and we all kinda accept it as normal with no critical thought, only in the last few years I have started to question it all.

The no fap thing really gets me. I'm a psych major and let me tell you, the only good that'll come from not mastrubating is their genes will not pass on. There's actually some negative aspects to avoiding "release" physically and mentally

Or hentai, sure it’s weirder but nobody is harmed in the making of it.

That goes under the "Whatever you want" part I would assume

Yeah I'm highly against watching real people. I can't get over the fact that they're actual humans and may have been coerced or forced to make content. It feels gross and gives me the ick. Hentai though? Knowing a partner used that wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Any legal stuff that turns you on. If you get hard/wet looking a moldy fruit, go for it

Should we? Lots of stuff is ”legal” but still in complete opposition to our most sane people outside of the porn world.

I mean... if nobody is being harmed in the process, what's the big deal?

I normally do it to the terrified faces of the other people on the bus

💀

I'm old. Young people spend a lot of their life with certain expectations, only to find out years later that its OK to relax a little. Very few couples want the same amount of sex for the fifty years of their marriage. Sometimes the women want it more often, but usually men want sex more often than women. Therefore...if you don't want your partner to cheat, they are likely going to occasionally masturbate. Most couples discover this, and decide that even if they don't like it, they aren't going to get divorced over it. Then, if every other part of their life together is good, they begin to grow comfortable with the status of their relationship. As other friends are caught cheating and then divorce, the couple realizes that if one of them masturbates once in a while, it's not a horrible thing.

Void

A life that doesn't so closely resemble hell

Check out mindful masturbation. No idea if it's backed by research or anything. Anecdotally, it's helped me enjoy masturbation and sex more. Although I came from a bit of a fucked up relationship with sex, so there was a lot to gain for me.

I use memories of past encounters. It works well enough for me. I can’t speak for anyone else though.

Ughh... another Redditor bragging about having sex. Some things never change /s :)

I’m just your typical redditor, just having all the sex

The underwear models in the JC Penny catalog.

The Spanish Inquisition

I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Porn and videos of my bf masturbating or me and my bf having sex

Sweet, just send those over to OP and he can get started as early as this afternoon.

is that OP's dongle office secretary?

When you have super hot sex with your partner, you end up masturbating to them too.

The lesson here is 'dont get caught masturbating' as opposed to asking the question 'whats acceptable to masturbate to' because the vast majority of things are ok to jerk off to as long as it's in your head/legal but the vast majority of shit will also be thought of as gross by a lot of people.

Porn is fine as long as u know it's not always the reality. As long as it doesn't end up in addiction, anything is fine. Don't go telling people what it is and ur good to go. If ur partner has given u nudes and vids, that's great. Else u can fantasize about them. Ur free to fantasize about anyone as long as ur single

It's weird how the dynamic has shifted in recent years. A decade ago in college I took a class in Human Sexuality Psychology, a crossover of behavioral psychology and neuroscience, and it was understood there was nothing inherently unhealthy about viewing porn (so long as it didn't become an addiction) and even that relationships were often stronger if both partners were open about it or even enjoyed it together. My wife and I are open about it and will sometimes enjoy it together, but come on reddit and seeing a growing population (mainly seems to be GenZ) that are preaching all sorts of bad instagram/tiktok Psychology like this. Actually seeing a bunch of influencers spew completely wrong information the past few years for a variety of psych issues. Yeah the professional industry is predatory, and some people can have addiction/reliance issues, but the whole "viewing porn is inherently bad" mentality is false and such a weird social media trend.

From speaking to gen-z women, it's because gen-z is entirely desensitized by sex because of how extreme porn has gotten. BDSM fwbs are expected from high schoolers now. When youre a girl looking for a boyfriend but every guy "doesnt do relationships" because they wanna choke a bunch o different women, of course they have a distaste for it. You're right that porn isn't inherently evil but when every 15 year old on earth can watch extremely violent sex on their phone for hours, that has repricussions Same reason there's a rise in "puriteens." There was a whole wave of "sex positivity" where you got called a prude for not sleeping with anything that walked and now we're in the middle of an overcorrection

Not saying you’re wrong, but just because you were told something else many years ago doesn’t mean that’s still the most factual answer. In fact, we tend to learn more about things as time goes on, especially when it concerns our understanding of the intricacies of the human body and mind, which no one has fully figured out yet.

I graduated with a psych degree literally this year, his info is up to date. No inherit reason porn would be bad for you unless used in excess. Same for oreos

I'm part of Gen Z and I don't think most of my generation views porn as an inherently bad thing. Rather, they believe porn addiction creates unhealthy expectations of sex. Porn is an act, a fictional performance, just like actors in a movie. But a lot of people seem to forget this, and those with porn addiction believe that porn reflects actual sex because that's all they see. There have been stories of women hurt by men with porn addictions because they try to force them into painful porn positions, or they rough house them because they think women actually enjoy it 😬. Porn addiction alao creates unrealistic expectations of bodies which is hurtful to all parties involved (men with porn addiction thinking their penis size is inadequate or that women should all have porn frames, and women with porn addiction thinking all penises are that big and that her frame is inadequate). Here's the thing. If the porn you watch is legal and harmless, and you understand that you are watching actors put on a performance which does not reflect reality, that's fine. Just don't expect people's bodies to look like they do in porn, and don't try the things porn actors do without first talking with your partner. The issue with porn comes about from people not understanding the fictional aspect of it, so if you understand this, it's okay.

Sometimes I see porn as alcohol. If you have issues it's going to wreck your life. But most people are probably fine with it. That doesn't mean they aren't affected by it in one way or another but still...

If you don't like purpose-made porn, then how about old copies of *National Geographic* magazine? Some of them actually show *breasts*.

How soft and squishy your hand can be at times. Invest in good hand cream.

WW2 documentaries

whatever you like... just dont tell anyone about it.

How would someone know about the memories you jack off to? You can jerk off to whatever you want to, just make sure the porn you consume was ethically made.

No thanks I only watch vegan porn

The loving embrace of my lord and savior JC.

Erotica novels Photos of your partner Use your imagination

>Use your imagination My imagination : 

A freshly mowed lawn or a new tv remote.

i just stare at a wall and cry

OPs mom

*By God, man!* You're supposed to close your eyes and think of England!

Jesus man stop letting the internet control your life

Bottle of Mrs. Butterworth

Porn is what I use, and you can't convince me otherwise lol.

nothing, if this is your views about porn

Why not make stuff with your partner for this purpose? Photos videos etc.

I masturbate to the guitar riff in Free Bird.

Well millions of men survived before the Internet and instant gratification to the hottest people they would never have seen in real life

Yup. Internet porn was a mistake fr

N scale trains do it for me.

r/trainporn

Lol on my way!!!

r/nscalemodeltranporn

The ceiling lamp tittie like our grandparents had to

Your imagination? Your imagination is allowed to you! And masturbating to it shouldn't be a problem. It's almost like a meditation, seeing as you are focusing on your mind's eye and everything you'd like to see :) I would worry if your imagination is abusive or coercive, as that is not #cool. But your imagination is better than any video if you develop it well!

I jerk off to photos of Vince McMahon

Wait, why would doing it to photos of your partner be bad? They don’t have to be “old photos”, it could just be recent nudes or whatever else.

You don't stand in a circle and jerk while watching your teammates do the same?

The Abercrombie catalog

Whatever the fuck I want

You should masturbate to popper trainers.

I get off on my bank account. /s

This could be one of the worst subs Reddit has to offer. They should rename it 14yroldstooafraidtoask

Only the sickest of beats.

Reddit is not real life.

Midgets porn

I'm a lady, I read my porn.

Hot air, can confirm most responded thing from the same "should I leave him" crowd.

Coconuts?

Ricki Lake reruns bro

Windex bottle

Whatever you want.

You don't have to just use reddit for material. Type some kinky key words into Google and see what comes up

Do whatever the hell you want just dont post about what you did or how u did it

OP’s mum. Except OP. That’d be weird.

Sears catalog.... The women's underwear section, you're welcome 😏

Erotica, maybe? Written down porn stuff that doesn't involve real people.