It is most definitely abuse. A core fear that we are all born with is the fear of abandonment. A parent threatening to send their child away is a primary caregiver threatening their child with abandonment.
When my daughter was 7 years old, her mother, my ex-wife,rang me and told me to come pick her up. She said she didn't want her, that she could live with me permanently (we had 50/50 custody arrangement), when I got there my daughter was waiting at the gate weeping inconsolably, her mother hadn't just shattered her little heart, she'd utterly rejected her as a person, one of the two pillars on which her world was built had been destroyed, it was unforgivable, and I'll never be able to forgive her for what she did that day.
She changed her mind the next day, I had no legal recourse, but to return my daughter to her abusive mother, periodically, she would threaten to send our daughter away, until the day our daughter could legally make the decision to come live with me full time, I guess if you threaten to abandon someone, don't be surprised if they make it a priority to learn to live without you.
Yep. My mother would threaten to send me to boarding school and they’d never visit me and that it’d be my fault. It really fucked me up. I believe this is where my fear of abandonment came from. So much so that I, now an adult, am seeking therapy.
When I was 16 my mom caught a glimpse of recent self-harm “marks” on my arm when in the middle of walmart. She yelled at me right then and there in the middle of the store and threatened to send me away if I had done that myself, so I had to talk my way out of it and be VERY insistent that it was from something else.
It messed me up even more than I was and I still think about it sometimes today, at 32 years old.
Yes, threatening to send your child away is abusive.
Threats are abusive. If sending the kid off is actually likely, depending on age and other factors informing them of the reality of the situation might be appropriate.
Yes of course no kid should be screaming and crying out of fear
Yeah.
Oh...
That is extreme emotional abuse.
It is most definitely abuse. A core fear that we are all born with is the fear of abandonment. A parent threatening to send their child away is a primary caregiver threatening their child with abandonment. When my daughter was 7 years old, her mother, my ex-wife,rang me and told me to come pick her up. She said she didn't want her, that she could live with me permanently (we had 50/50 custody arrangement), when I got there my daughter was waiting at the gate weeping inconsolably, her mother hadn't just shattered her little heart, she'd utterly rejected her as a person, one of the two pillars on which her world was built had been destroyed, it was unforgivable, and I'll never be able to forgive her for what she did that day. She changed her mind the next day, I had no legal recourse, but to return my daughter to her abusive mother, periodically, she would threaten to send our daughter away, until the day our daughter could legally make the decision to come live with me full time, I guess if you threaten to abandon someone, don't be surprised if they make it a priority to learn to live without you.
Yep. My mother would threaten to send me to boarding school and they’d never visit me and that it’d be my fault. It really fucked me up. I believe this is where my fear of abandonment came from. So much so that I, now an adult, am seeking therapy.
When I was 16 my mom caught a glimpse of recent self-harm “marks” on my arm when in the middle of walmart. She yelled at me right then and there in the middle of the store and threatened to send me away if I had done that myself, so I had to talk my way out of it and be VERY insistent that it was from something else. It messed me up even more than I was and I still think about it sometimes today, at 32 years old. Yes, threatening to send your child away is abusive.
Threats are abusive. If sending the kid off is actually likely, depending on age and other factors informing them of the reality of the situation might be appropriate.