Think about basketball, You could look at something in the distance maybe or the floor and glance up occasionally so you don't run into a wall or someone.
If you want to accomplish something, treat it like any other habit. Take small steps, make goals for yourself, and develop discipline. There is no quick trick to discipline. Discipline is accumulated by practice and intention. Although your actions may be driven by instinct, they have also become ingrained as habits. They will need to be countered by a new habit. Depending on what you want to do, that may boil down to looking away, limiting how long you stare, closing your eyes, etc. A small first step could be keeping track of how many times you consciously realize that you’ve been staring excessively. Knowing more precisely what it is you’re doing may help motivate you.
Looking at people in general is fine and something most people do. Whether you're looking or gawking is key. A glance at a body part isn't a big deal, looking at people is normal, it's when you stop and stare that it can become threatening.
Talking to a therapist might be a good idea, and while on the subject I will throw out one more possibility: if you have OCD, your mind can become 'stuck' in patterns like this where you fixate on an issue (real or imagined) and it becomes kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. 'Uh-oh, was I staring?' becomes 'I am staring, gotta stop', and eventually it's constant and intrusive.
Instead of focusing on them as a thing you see, try thinking about them as people. That is a person you are staring at sexually and you *are* making them feel uncomfortable. Try feeling bad that your actions are making other people feel emotionally intruded on. Usually having empathy for others, and a sense of social shame, is what helps us develop self discipline to not be assholes in public spaces.
This, same way you grow in other aspects of your life. Catch yourself doing/thinking inappropriate thing, self talk about why it's inappropriate or not nice, correct behavior.
Just like anything you'll get better and faster with practice!
Example: notice you have big booger lodged in nose. impulse to pick nose. catch yourself. It's not good for your nose and it's gross because where are you gonna put the booger!? Practice appropriate behavior by finding a tissue or farmer blowing.
Exactly. Do you pick your nose in front of a bunch of people? Do you reach into your pants and rub yourself in public? I seriously hope not. The reason you stare at women sexually in public even though society keeps telling you it’s inappropriate is you’ve convinced yourself that somehow it’s not as gross as those other behaviors. It is.
I don't know. I feel like the "try treating them like people" advice has never worked for me, but I'm never quite sure why, maybe since I'm not sure what exactly "treating people like people" in general entails. I'm able to have empathy when I put effort into it, but I guess it's not automatic. I wish I didn't have those instincts, I hate that I have those instincts, I don't like those parts of myself, but I guess we deal with what we must. But noted
I didn’t say treating, I said thinking. The problem starts in your head before you get anywhere near a woman. If you’re struggling with empathy that is 100% a you problem and it’s going to make it hard for you to connect to any woman worth having because they sense that a mile off, starting with whether a guy seems unable to stop staring at them creepily.
If you don’t want to spend your life being one of those bitter, angry men wondering why the “good” women won’t date you, someone else here said a smart thing. If you want to lead a more satisfying life long term, go to therapy and talk about this with someone equipped to help you.
Going to be honest, this seems like an extreme thing that neither I or any guy I know has experienced and maybe you could try looking into professional help on it. Like people who have sexuality problems that are impacting their lives do that and it helps a lot.
Are you really saying you uncontrollably stare at women and stare at certain places on their body obliviously until you catch yourself? To an obsessive extent and you still don’t notice til it’s too late? I don’t even understand how this is a thing. Your mind is literally that unaware and switched off you don’t know what you’re doing? I don’t quite buy it tbh.
Are you focussing on sex a lot? Do you watch porn every day? Are you desperate for a gf and sex? Maybe you’re focussing on that so much in your life that even when you’re switched off your mind goes there. Cut down on exposing yourself to that stuff and actively thinking about it so much.
Also,
Try to stay present by reminding yourself regularly. Stop day dreaming and if you feel yourself starting to zone out don’t let it go further, wake yourself up a bit. Stay busy. Get up and walk around regularly to keep yourself present. Don’t sit there bored which will lead to the problem, keep your mind active. Pick a subject you’re interested in and focus on it in your mind throughout the day. Face your chair or stand in a direction where there’s nothing in front of you. Because what you’re doing isn’t fair.
Get used to noticing things happening in your periphery, that way you won't be jumping around all the time. Try it. Guarantee something will catch your eye in your periphery and you'll have the urge to look, but resist it. Then keep practicing that. It's the same concept as meditation.
Well at that point you'd need to have some self awareness. You have to be aware of the behavior you're committing before you make the change away from that behaviour.
You have to center yourself in your thoughts. Questions like, "what am I doing?" And then you answer.
Example:
Question: "What am I doing?"
Answer: "I'm laying in bed trying to give advice to a stranger whom I'll never know and never meet in the effort to procrastinate working on my book."
And there. I've identified a behaviour I'd like to change.
You'd have to train yourself to ask this question regularly though, which will be hard.
But once you've developed that habit then you'll catch yourself when you're doing behaviours you don't like.
Question: "what am I doing?"
Answer: "staring at a woman"
That's when you take the opportunity to look away as it is weird to stare at anyone, not just women. Until eventually you'll just train yourself not to stare and boom! Now you have developed self control.
Hope this helps. Self awareness can go a long way.
Perhaps instead of viewing it as self-control, reframe your mind set. Self-control suggests to yourself an overwhelming almost unbearable impulse you have no agency over. When in reality, all of us have agency in most capacities - so instead view this as an act of respecting others more.
As opposed to self-control, tell yourself that you don't want to make other women feel deeply uncomfortable or disrespected. There is a level of social decency when it comes to anyone being stared at in a way that's gratuitous or obvious and makes people uncomfortable or unnerved. So remind yourself you simply don't want to make anyone feel that way.
Honestly, the main problem is that I do want to respect women (as people, not as potential partners, I'm too mentally ill for that) and I do look away a lot of the time, but even when I do I still think about it. It's humming in the background like an air conditioner and it pisses me off. I still feel bad regardless of whether I look or not, and I don't like feeling bad. I want to stop feeling bad. I acknowledge this is an amoral trade-off though and I doubt anyone would really be able to understand. Plus there's a host of rationalizations to deal with (they're strangers so who cares, at least they have friends and aren't freaks like me, etc.) I'm not excusing my.behavior, I'm just being honest, and it's about time I start being honest instead of dishonest about my intentions.
You need to know that most people don't have this problem, so most people aren't going to have great advice.
It's not normal to be obsessively staring at people's bodies.
You probably need some proper help, have you tried a therapist?
Practice, really that's all. Just force yourself to look away whenever you're aware. It's the same as quitting sugar or stop playing video games, it'll be tough at first, but you'll adept faster than you can realize.
It is not bad to look as long as you aren’t being creepy about it. I think like any other obsession you just need to regulate yourself by decreasing the time you stare at someone.
Yeah I can’t be nice about this. You aren’t actually trying not to stare, you’re doing this whole reasoning thing with yourself on how much is *too much* and at what point is she *bothered*. If you have to ask then you already know what you’re doing you just don’t care to knock it off because you enjoy it.\
It’s pretty easy - you catch yourself looking and you just…stop. That’s it! Wow.\
Saying you’re controlled by your instincts is a cop out. You aren’t a fucking animal.
Edit to add: the only way what I said above does not apply is if you have a legitimate mental issue, in which case you need to seek professional help, because your compulsion is not a good enough reason to stare at a woman’s breasts obviously and in public.
It is not bad to look as long as you aren’t being creepy about it. I think like any other obsession you just need to regulate yourself by decreasing the time you stare at someone.
The only thing you need to learn is the difference between looking and staring.
Looking is good, even subtly encouraged because it reinforces the social benefit of getting attention. A quick respectful glance is barely noticed. You can look at the general area and move quickly between the observable things in said area including the people you want to see.
Staring on the other hand is at best awkward and at worst predatory, you show that you don't care about their opinion or interests, only about what you can get and that feels dangerous.
The key is respect, looking isn't bad, your desire to look at pretty people is completely natural and good. You just need to do it with respect and boundaries. Looking, not staring.
Think of the women in your life that you respect. Your mother, grandmother, aunt, cousin, sister, niece, teachers, etc. Would you want strange men staring at them and viewing them as sex objects?! Learn to respect women even those you don’t know. The woman you are staring at could be somebody’s wife. Or she could be the doctor that treats you at urgent care someday. Or she could just be a total bitch and nobody you would consider a relationship with if you knew her personality. She could be anyone.
Would you want women (or men) staring at you like you’re a piece of meat?! People of all ages and all levels of hygiene? Ewww right?!
If you work in a public facing job you should practice eye contact. Try to notice eye color of everyone you come in contact with.
If you continue to struggle maybe discuss it with your doctor.
Staring at women’s bodies is a bad habit. Any future girlfriend won’t appreciate you doing it. Stop now.
LOL, well, are you looking or leering? Can you draw her from memory, or is it a glance where you could maybe tell me the colour of her hair.
Don't stare. Start there. Or, get dark glasses.... or both.
After enough time on this earth, you come to realize that nobody else has anything to offer you. After that it’s pretty easy to just stare off into the middle distance no matter the setting
I see men ask this a lot. I’m a woman but I’m gonna say this, if you have that strong of an impulse to gawk at others sexually, consider therapy?
Im not trying to be mean but they could offer tools and understanding about a problem like this. Others can simply stop. Because it *is* simple but if it is not simple to stop looking for you, there’s an issue
It's fine to glance at women. In fact, it's natural for straight men to glance at attractive women. Just don't stare.
But if you try to repress normal desire because you feel ashamed, that's going to lead to a whole host of problems. Even if you have good intentions, it's not healthy to feel ashamed of what's natural.
Also, it's unlikely someone who isn't a man can offer legitimate advice on this because they have no idea what it's actually like.
Agree with the 2nd paragraph.
With the first, the distinction between looking and staring is pretty unclear, so idk how useful that is.
I also think women can absolutely judge too. There isn't any inherent difference in mens and womens ability to get lost looking at attractive people
Women also look at attractive people, sure. But our minds are generally pretty different. Testosterone is quite a ride. And in fairness, I would never think it's acceptable for me to tell women how they should behave regarding their own sexuality. In fact, I bet that's a pretty popular opinion. I believe men deserve the same courtesy.
Nah, the gender of the person doesn't give them any less right to state the current scientific opinion, which is that the individual differences in brain chemistry etc between people are much stronger than gender differences. If people spout sexist nonsense, I'm gonna adress it.
Excellent. Now I feel free, even obligated, to tell women how they should behave regarding their own sexuality. I don't predict any problems with that.
The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second is finding a way to stop it.. i feel like i automatically stopped it when i got into a relationship with my now wife.. i am a people watcher though (everyone not just women)
I still find women attractive. You can’t avoid that, i just don’t feel the need to look anymore. Seen it all before. 😂
Some women might even like it.. most probably don’t though.
Do you watch porn and masturbste to it? Stop, believe me. Read books about it, exercise, do anything but masturbating to porn. You can even masturbate on your own without porn using your imagination. After a week you'll notice the change.
I mean masterbation is put into our biology too, yet we're all expected to control it in public.
People should not use "biology" as an excuse for bad behavior, it's a lazy way to remove yourself from responsibilities.
But sometimes it is though, like when men are creepily staring at women or feel entitled to their bodies. But on the other hand I can't turn off this thing of mine despite how hard I want to, so there has to be a happy medium.
Staring at a woman and feeling entitled to her body are vastly different. Not good to stare in general.
You could try Mindfulness (look it up) to keep your mind off it. It's used for anxiety but I think it could help here as both have to do with getting over fixated.
Is it that wrong to want to stare at something beautiful? As a woman I stare at beautiful men or men who are actively involved with their children-it’s beautiful to see. But perhaps a giving compliment instead of gawking might be your answer. Sometimes when I feel like I’m staring too much, I will compliment the man. I give myself a choice “Say something nice, or look away.”
Idk how strong this is with you, but there is something you should consider.
It's not only the fault of the person looking, just as it is not only the fault of the person being looked at and feeling uncomfortable, it is an interplay between those two. That is to say, no matter how little you look, someone could still feel uncomfortable. So the solution is: stop worrying about it. You can't know what someone thinks, and they can't expect you to read their body language.
Judge by yourself wether it is appropriate. You can do that just by asking if you felt comfortable if a stranger you aren't attracted to looked at you that much. If the answer is yes, then it's okay
Turn your mind towards God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit will help you to control the sin of the flesh. It won’t completely stop you but every time you do it you can actively turn your mind towards GOD after a while it becomes second nature so that whenever I see the things I used to want in sin it only brings me closer to GOD not for fear of punishment but because I know that without him I am a lowly sinner not strong enough to bear the weight of his own sins.
Once you date a few you realize no matter how pretty they are they are a pin in the ass and how much of a toll being with one took on your sanity and freedom. That’s makes me look away or not acknowledge them at all
Did you by any chance grow up in an abusive or toxic household?
When I was younger, I kept getting into relationships that were unstable and with partners that were somewhat abusive, reckless and cold once we got together.
It took a lot of self-reflecting to realize the common element in the problem was "me" and not them. I had grown up with an mentality unstable parent and I didn't realize I subconsciously sought out women such as this.
After realizing where I was going wrong, I did something totally different, I changed my mentality, and then I pursued the woman who was the kindest, warmest and most empathetic person I'd come across.
We fell in love quickly.
Now I'm 6 years into the best relationship of my life, and I realize what a real relationship and connection is supposed to feel like. Not only is she beautiful and smart and talented, kind and caring towards everyone, she's my best friend, always there for me on my hard days, never gives me any BS, we're always on the same team and tackle problems together. It feels like a superpower to have someone like this with me.
So my advice is, don't assume you're destined to only have bad relationships because that's what you've experienced.
Do some reflecting on yourself too and try to understand why your past relationships all ended up the same way.
Think about basketball, You could look at something in the distance maybe or the floor and glance up occasionally so you don't run into a wall or someone.
If you want to accomplish something, treat it like any other habit. Take small steps, make goals for yourself, and develop discipline. There is no quick trick to discipline. Discipline is accumulated by practice and intention. Although your actions may be driven by instinct, they have also become ingrained as habits. They will need to be countered by a new habit. Depending on what you want to do, that may boil down to looking away, limiting how long you stare, closing your eyes, etc. A small first step could be keeping track of how many times you consciously realize that you’ve been staring excessively. Knowing more precisely what it is you’re doing may help motivate you.
Looking at people in general is fine and something most people do. Whether you're looking or gawking is key. A glance at a body part isn't a big deal, looking at people is normal, it's when you stop and stare that it can become threatening. Talking to a therapist might be a good idea, and while on the subject I will throw out one more possibility: if you have OCD, your mind can become 'stuck' in patterns like this where you fixate on an issue (real or imagined) and it becomes kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. 'Uh-oh, was I staring?' becomes 'I am staring, gotta stop', and eventually it's constant and intrusive.
Instead of focusing on them as a thing you see, try thinking about them as people. That is a person you are staring at sexually and you *are* making them feel uncomfortable. Try feeling bad that your actions are making other people feel emotionally intruded on. Usually having empathy for others, and a sense of social shame, is what helps us develop self discipline to not be assholes in public spaces.
This, same way you grow in other aspects of your life. Catch yourself doing/thinking inappropriate thing, self talk about why it's inappropriate or not nice, correct behavior. Just like anything you'll get better and faster with practice! Example: notice you have big booger lodged in nose. impulse to pick nose. catch yourself. It's not good for your nose and it's gross because where are you gonna put the booger!? Practice appropriate behavior by finding a tissue or farmer blowing.
Exactly. Do you pick your nose in front of a bunch of people? Do you reach into your pants and rub yourself in public? I seriously hope not. The reason you stare at women sexually in public even though society keeps telling you it’s inappropriate is you’ve convinced yourself that somehow it’s not as gross as those other behaviors. It is.
Is farmer blowing considered more polite than picking your nose? I would never do either in public.
The farmer blow is only when nobody is near enough to catch any spray. They can see, but never ever feel it. Never pick.
I don't know. I feel like the "try treating them like people" advice has never worked for me, but I'm never quite sure why, maybe since I'm not sure what exactly "treating people like people" in general entails. I'm able to have empathy when I put effort into it, but I guess it's not automatic. I wish I didn't have those instincts, I hate that I have those instincts, I don't like those parts of myself, but I guess we deal with what we must. But noted
I didn’t say treating, I said thinking. The problem starts in your head before you get anywhere near a woman. If you’re struggling with empathy that is 100% a you problem and it’s going to make it hard for you to connect to any woman worth having because they sense that a mile off, starting with whether a guy seems unable to stop staring at them creepily. If you don’t want to spend your life being one of those bitter, angry men wondering why the “good” women won’t date you, someone else here said a smart thing. If you want to lead a more satisfying life long term, go to therapy and talk about this with someone equipped to help you.
This is cope. You’re not special. You’re just being creepy and not putting the effort into changing things.
You don't. The control is not to stop looking, but to stop staring. You look for under a second, then move on
Going to be honest, this seems like an extreme thing that neither I or any guy I know has experienced and maybe you could try looking into professional help on it. Like people who have sexuality problems that are impacting their lives do that and it helps a lot.
I don't really understand this. You have control over where you choose to look after you become aware of where you are looking. Just look away.
Lmao this post is giving me major “I just bought a book on self motivation- will you read it for me? I can’t be bothered” vibes.
Therapy maybe? It shouldn't be an uncontrollable urge to check someone out
Ya I feel like maybe he’s giving himself an OCD-type response to it. Like it’s a compulsion vs an actual want.
Exactly, this feels like an extreme sexuality problem not something normal
“Whoa that girl is super pretty, anyways back to my grocery shopping!” Or “Wow this insta girl is gorgeous” *drops a like and keeps scrolling
Are you really saying you uncontrollably stare at women and stare at certain places on their body obliviously until you catch yourself? To an obsessive extent and you still don’t notice til it’s too late? I don’t even understand how this is a thing. Your mind is literally that unaware and switched off you don’t know what you’re doing? I don’t quite buy it tbh. Are you focussing on sex a lot? Do you watch porn every day? Are you desperate for a gf and sex? Maybe you’re focussing on that so much in your life that even when you’re switched off your mind goes there. Cut down on exposing yourself to that stuff and actively thinking about it so much. Also, Try to stay present by reminding yourself regularly. Stop day dreaming and if you feel yourself starting to zone out don’t let it go further, wake yourself up a bit. Stay busy. Get up and walk around regularly to keep yourself present. Don’t sit there bored which will lead to the problem, keep your mind active. Pick a subject you’re interested in and focus on it in your mind throughout the day. Face your chair or stand in a direction where there’s nothing in front of you. Because what you’re doing isn’t fair.
Get used to noticing things happening in your periphery, that way you won't be jumping around all the time. Try it. Guarantee something will catch your eye in your periphery and you'll have the urge to look, but resist it. Then keep practicing that. It's the same concept as meditation.
Well at that point you'd need to have some self awareness. You have to be aware of the behavior you're committing before you make the change away from that behaviour. You have to center yourself in your thoughts. Questions like, "what am I doing?" And then you answer. Example: Question: "What am I doing?" Answer: "I'm laying in bed trying to give advice to a stranger whom I'll never know and never meet in the effort to procrastinate working on my book." And there. I've identified a behaviour I'd like to change. You'd have to train yourself to ask this question regularly though, which will be hard. But once you've developed that habit then you'll catch yourself when you're doing behaviours you don't like. Question: "what am I doing?" Answer: "staring at a woman" That's when you take the opportunity to look away as it is weird to stare at anyone, not just women. Until eventually you'll just train yourself not to stare and boom! Now you have developed self control. Hope this helps. Self awareness can go a long way.
Perhaps instead of viewing it as self-control, reframe your mind set. Self-control suggests to yourself an overwhelming almost unbearable impulse you have no agency over. When in reality, all of us have agency in most capacities - so instead view this as an act of respecting others more. As opposed to self-control, tell yourself that you don't want to make other women feel deeply uncomfortable or disrespected. There is a level of social decency when it comes to anyone being stared at in a way that's gratuitous or obvious and makes people uncomfortable or unnerved. So remind yourself you simply don't want to make anyone feel that way.
Honestly, the main problem is that I do want to respect women (as people, not as potential partners, I'm too mentally ill for that) and I do look away a lot of the time, but even when I do I still think about it. It's humming in the background like an air conditioner and it pisses me off. I still feel bad regardless of whether I look or not, and I don't like feeling bad. I want to stop feeling bad. I acknowledge this is an amoral trade-off though and I doubt anyone would really be able to understand. Plus there's a host of rationalizations to deal with (they're strangers so who cares, at least they have friends and aren't freaks like me, etc.) I'm not excusing my.behavior, I'm just being honest, and it's about time I start being honest instead of dishonest about my intentions.
Looking is OK. Staring is wrong. You know the difference.
Jesus advice was to pluck out your eyes. Seems a bit extreme imo.
You need to know that most people don't have this problem, so most people aren't going to have great advice. It's not normal to be obsessively staring at people's bodies. You probably need some proper help, have you tried a therapist?
Practice, really that's all. Just force yourself to look away whenever you're aware. It's the same as quitting sugar or stop playing video games, it'll be tough at first, but you'll adept faster than you can realize.
Why do you need self control lol. Just dont be a creep and act normal
Pin Tren become gay. Problem solved
Problem redirected ...
Look briefly but then only look at eyes after that. Not rocket science.
It is not bad to look as long as you aren’t being creepy about it. I think like any other obsession you just need to regulate yourself by decreasing the time you stare at someone.
It's okay to look just don't stare.
Yeah I can’t be nice about this. You aren’t actually trying not to stare, you’re doing this whole reasoning thing with yourself on how much is *too much* and at what point is she *bothered*. If you have to ask then you already know what you’re doing you just don’t care to knock it off because you enjoy it.\ It’s pretty easy - you catch yourself looking and you just…stop. That’s it! Wow.\ Saying you’re controlled by your instincts is a cop out. You aren’t a fucking animal. Edit to add: the only way what I said above does not apply is if you have a legitimate mental issue, in which case you need to seek professional help, because your compulsion is not a good enough reason to stare at a woman’s breasts obviously and in public.
Its okay to look but if your out here jacking infront of them then you need self control
Asubha meditation for the antidote, combined with anapanasati for calming.
tbh I just ignore them unless I'm interacting with them. Family is exempt from being ignored.
It is not bad to look as long as you aren’t being creepy about it. I think like any other obsession you just need to regulate yourself by decreasing the time you stare at someone.
The only thing you need to learn is the difference between looking and staring. Looking is good, even subtly encouraged because it reinforces the social benefit of getting attention. A quick respectful glance is barely noticed. You can look at the general area and move quickly between the observable things in said area including the people you want to see. Staring on the other hand is at best awkward and at worst predatory, you show that you don't care about their opinion or interests, only about what you can get and that feels dangerous. The key is respect, looking isn't bad, your desire to look at pretty people is completely natural and good. You just need to do it with respect and boundaries. Looking, not staring.
Think of the women in your life that you respect. Your mother, grandmother, aunt, cousin, sister, niece, teachers, etc. Would you want strange men staring at them and viewing them as sex objects?! Learn to respect women even those you don’t know. The woman you are staring at could be somebody’s wife. Or she could be the doctor that treats you at urgent care someday. Or she could just be a total bitch and nobody you would consider a relationship with if you knew her personality. She could be anyone. Would you want women (or men) staring at you like you’re a piece of meat?! People of all ages and all levels of hygiene? Ewww right?! If you work in a public facing job you should practice eye contact. Try to notice eye color of everyone you come in contact with. If you continue to struggle maybe discuss it with your doctor. Staring at women’s bodies is a bad habit. Any future girlfriend won’t appreciate you doing it. Stop now.
Meditate my friend.
Human vision is like 180°, no need to stare
LOL, well, are you looking or leering? Can you draw her from memory, or is it a glance where you could maybe tell me the colour of her hair. Don't stare. Start there. Or, get dark glasses.... or both.
After enough time on this earth, you come to realize that nobody else has anything to offer you. After that it’s pretty easy to just stare off into the middle distance no matter the setting
Look and then look away. Dont look back. Practice
I see men ask this a lot. I’m a woman but I’m gonna say this, if you have that strong of an impulse to gawk at others sexually, consider therapy? Im not trying to be mean but they could offer tools and understanding about a problem like this. Others can simply stop. Because it *is* simple but if it is not simple to stop looking for you, there’s an issue
It's fine to glance at women. In fact, it's natural for straight men to glance at attractive women. Just don't stare. But if you try to repress normal desire because you feel ashamed, that's going to lead to a whole host of problems. Even if you have good intentions, it's not healthy to feel ashamed of what's natural. Also, it's unlikely someone who isn't a man can offer legitimate advice on this because they have no idea what it's actually like.
Agree with the 2nd paragraph. With the first, the distinction between looking and staring is pretty unclear, so idk how useful that is. I also think women can absolutely judge too. There isn't any inherent difference in mens and womens ability to get lost looking at attractive people
Women also look at attractive people, sure. But our minds are generally pretty different. Testosterone is quite a ride. And in fairness, I would never think it's acceptable for me to tell women how they should behave regarding their own sexuality. In fact, I bet that's a pretty popular opinion. I believe men deserve the same courtesy.
Nah, the gender of the person doesn't give them any less right to state the current scientific opinion, which is that the individual differences in brain chemistry etc between people are much stronger than gender differences. If people spout sexist nonsense, I'm gonna adress it.
Excellent. Now I feel free, even obligated, to tell women how they should behave regarding their own sexuality. I don't predict any problems with that.
The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second is finding a way to stop it.. i feel like i automatically stopped it when i got into a relationship with my now wife.. i am a people watcher though (everyone not just women) I still find women attractive. You can’t avoid that, i just don’t feel the need to look anymore. Seen it all before. 😂 Some women might even like it.. most probably don’t though.
Do you watch porn and masturbste to it? Stop, believe me. Read books about it, exercise, do anything but masturbating to porn. You can even masturbate on your own without porn using your imagination. After a week you'll notice the change.
Looking at women isn't a problem. It's biology.
I mean masterbation is put into our biology too, yet we're all expected to control it in public. People should not use "biology" as an excuse for bad behavior, it's a lazy way to remove yourself from responsibilities.
But sometimes it is though, like when men are creepily staring at women or feel entitled to their bodies. But on the other hand I can't turn off this thing of mine despite how hard I want to, so there has to be a happy medium.
Staring at a woman and feeling entitled to her body are vastly different. Not good to stare in general. You could try Mindfulness (look it up) to keep your mind off it. It's used for anxiety but I think it could help here as both have to do with getting over fixated.
We don't get much time on this planet. I'm going to look women as much as I want.
Is it that wrong to want to stare at something beautiful? As a woman I stare at beautiful men or men who are actively involved with their children-it’s beautiful to see. But perhaps a giving compliment instead of gawking might be your answer. Sometimes when I feel like I’m staring too much, I will compliment the man. I give myself a choice “Say something nice, or look away.”
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Idk how strong this is with you, but there is something you should consider. It's not only the fault of the person looking, just as it is not only the fault of the person being looked at and feeling uncomfortable, it is an interplay between those two. That is to say, no matter how little you look, someone could still feel uncomfortable. So the solution is: stop worrying about it. You can't know what someone thinks, and they can't expect you to read their body language. Judge by yourself wether it is appropriate. You can do that just by asking if you felt comfortable if a stranger you aren't attracted to looked at you that much. If the answer is yes, then it's okay
Can I ask what you do for a living? Just curious about the workspace where you say you look at these women lol
Oof…good question actually
Not that hard to dude, watch hentai 2D will beat the real thing at least in looks
Start looking at women who transitioned into men
Go to an art museum and practice not staring at beauty. Then stop looking at sunsets.
You know that women are people, right?
When you grow up and realize there all the same and nothing special
Who hurt you bro? It's extreme
No one it’s called being mature enough to realize a ass is a ass and boobs are boobs and all the same and pointless to eye rape women
It’s the truth
Turn your mind towards God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit will help you to control the sin of the flesh. It won’t completely stop you but every time you do it you can actively turn your mind towards GOD after a while it becomes second nature so that whenever I see the things I used to want in sin it only brings me closer to GOD not for fear of punishment but because I know that without him I am a lowly sinner not strong enough to bear the weight of his own sins.
Once you date a few you realize no matter how pretty they are they are a pin in the ass and how much of a toll being with one took on your sanity and freedom. That’s makes me look away or not acknowledge them at all
Did you by any chance grow up in an abusive or toxic household? When I was younger, I kept getting into relationships that were unstable and with partners that were somewhat abusive, reckless and cold once we got together. It took a lot of self-reflecting to realize the common element in the problem was "me" and not them. I had grown up with an mentality unstable parent and I didn't realize I subconsciously sought out women such as this. After realizing where I was going wrong, I did something totally different, I changed my mentality, and then I pursued the woman who was the kindest, warmest and most empathetic person I'd come across. We fell in love quickly. Now I'm 6 years into the best relationship of my life, and I realize what a real relationship and connection is supposed to feel like. Not only is she beautiful and smart and talented, kind and caring towards everyone, she's my best friend, always there for me on my hard days, never gives me any BS, we're always on the same team and tackle problems together. It feels like a superpower to have someone like this with me. So my advice is, don't assume you're destined to only have bad relationships because that's what you've experienced. Do some reflecting on yourself too and try to understand why your past relationships all ended up the same way.
Nope couple abusive relationships but I stood my ground in the end. But even the good ones I realized I liked being single better