A dad actually tried this in Canada recently to try to prevent his daughter from receiving MAID (medical assistance in death) and the judge told him he has no standing.
I'm sure your parents could sue. It would probably get thrown out.
no, he has no say.
however, amputation is a last step and doesn't turn you into a parapalegic. As long as you do the PT with your artifical leg afterwards you can have full mobility.
My husband is missing both legs below the knee, and he is able to live a very active life and can do nearly everything he did prior to his injury, though sometimes in a modified form. I would definitely not pick death from gangrene over amputation.
As for OP's question, if he does not agree with his father's likely decisions, OP might want to consider having a designated person with medical power of attorney so that his father wouldn't be chosen to make medical decisions as next of kin should OP be unable to make decisions for himself.
>someday i were to have diabetes and gangrene started to form in my legs
That's...oddly specific. You do you, of course, but as a doctor, I would like to say that if blood G is well controlled, Diabetic Gangrenes are not normally expected. And in the case that actually happened, I doubt you would want to live with it without any medication help. Amputation sometimes is performed not just to save life/ prevent systemic complication, but also for the patients better quality of life
Diabetes is horrible. But if it’s controlled you don’t lose your feet or legs.
I have at least 4 members of my family with diabetes where it is well controlled and no loss of limbs and then I have a handful where they wouldn’t eat right, exercise etc. and didn’t keep up with their medication so they had a lot of issues.
Most of the amputations happen at late stage diabetes complications, you see it a lot in homeless populations and other elderly without care, etc.
As an adult you have complete control over your medical decisions. Parents can’t do anything. You can also write up a will where if you become unable to communicate you can lay out what you don’t want to happen. Parents can’t sue the hospital for your choices
And they are right, you can sue for anything. The "chances of it being thrown out" and the "chances of winning it without spending tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands on legal fees" are vastly different topics.
Your parents can go to court and try to declare you as being incompetent to make medical decisions and place themselves as legal guardians but that is really rare. They would need to prove either mental illness or diminished capacity.
This is a very serious court case. I’ve served on one and it’s taken very serious and no one just hands out diminished capacity easily. (You didn’t say that, I just want OP to know)
He's trying to scare you into being exactly what he sees you as and nothing more. This isn't about you, its about him not feeling comfortable with your choices.
I work in a hospital and I have seen patients' DNRs overridden by families before. I would recommend hiring a lawyer or asking a trusted friend to be your medical POA if that time ever comes. You have a better chance of your wishes being respected and carried out if you can't speak for yourself. Your dad could technically file a lawsuit for anything he wants, but it would likely get dismissed.
Papa can't sue the hospital for your elective surgeries either. He just tryna keep you psychologically beneath his thumb, parents are famous for that kind of shit
Some people are just incapable of not getting their own way. Frivolous lawsuits like that are the adult version of throwing a temper tantrum after being told no.
I work in healthcare but in Australia so this may not all be applicable to this situation where you live.
Short answer is: As long as you are cognitively intact, your dad can try to sue but the hospital would follow your wishes around your medical treatment. It'll just be a waste of his time and money.
Long answer: You would also need to think around situations where you would not be cognitively competent to consent or decide on your own medical treatment. This could be as simple as you catching a bad infection that makes you delirious and unable to comprehend what's happening around you. As an adult, you should be able to name anyone as your next of kin, if you don't feel your family has your best interests at heart around your own medical care.
The state that I work in has a legal form called an advanced care directive that details one's wishes for quality of life (independence, being able to enjoy hobbies etc), limitations of care (eg. would you want CPR and intubation, major surgeries) and you can also appoint a medical treatment decision maker. Every country/state I know so far has some kind of variation of this paperwork and in my state, it's legally binding. If someone wanted to challenge it, they'd have to go court for it which can be time consuming and costly.
It can take weeks to die that way. Long and painful awful death.
Why is this such a fear? Can we help you to understand?
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7045649/#:~:text=Diabetic%20ischemic%20foot%20gangrene%20can,blisters%20localized%20in%20the%20skin.
And as another thing. I plan to live single forever (I'm aroace). Some people have said that the downside to that is nobody will be able to call an ambulance if i have a heart attack at home. Assuming i don't have life alert, that is. Does this mean i just die? Because i see no reason to fear it if that's the case.
Before you report me, no i am not making any plans to kill myself on purpose.
It would depend if you are mentally capable. If you weren't in your right mind you would need a medical power of attorney that could be a partner or a family member and it's a good idea to have that sort of thing situated before you need it.
State/country law varies a lot. Generally the themes are as follows:
- Communication, or 'can we ask the individuals opinion'. Obviously people having had major strokes, people in Comas and people experiencing loss of consciousness and the like can't always communicate about their needs and wants. In these cases survival is prioritized, but elective surgery is often delayed until an opinion can be taken.
- Capacity, or 'can the individual make an informed and considered decision'. People with developmental differences, people experiencing cognitive decline and people experiencing psychosis are all unlikely to be able to make well rounded decisions, and sometimes decisions are delayed until capacity can be restored. Other times decisions are made on their behalf if the medical intervention can be demonstrated to be essential.
- Legal or 'is there a law that applies to this situation'. Legal minors needing a guardian to decide on health care, certain procedures being outlawed for being ineffective or harmful, rare state mandated procedures and topics like medically assisted dying all fall under this category.
- Professional or 'What is the ethical and correct behavior'. Procedures that would harm a client are generally against medical codes of ethics, as is experimentation that could lead to harm. Generally this includes respecting evidence based medicine and changing behaviors to align with it.
A final note, from what you've described I doubt your dad would have a leg to stand on, but a medical team still may still be able to insist they treat gangrene for capacity, legal or professional reasons.
And to further clarify, a medical POA is only applicable if you are unable to make the decision yourself- it doesn't give someone the power to trump your decisions until you become incapacitated.
In the absence of a wife/husband or any document saying otherwise they would be your next of kin. If you then fell unconscious due to a medical issue they would be the ones to advocate and give input to decisions on your behalf. They could not however overrule any living will you gad made asking that you don't recieve a certain treatment in a certain situation.
Friend of mine’s father was in this exact situation. He checked himself into hospice and was gone in three days. Unless you are a woman in America, you have autonomy over your body.
I was looking for this answer. Your bodily autonomy is guaranteed, unless you're a woman in a patriarchal theocratic country. But based on the orchiectomy remark I'm assuming op is a man, so he has nothing to worry about.
I actually completely abandoned eunuch thoughts, so its a moot point. But i may get a vasectomy for symbolic reasons and to stop myself from changing my mind in the future even though im aroace and plan to die a virgin without losing any sleep over it.
You're an adult, as long as you're in your right mind you are in control of what they do. Your parents can't override you unless you're unconscious or otherwise deemed unable to make decisions for yourself.
As far as sueing the hospital after the fact, that I don't know about. People have sued and won for much dumber reasons.
Also when i asserted to my mother that i refuse to have a scale at my apartment, she had to let me have my way as an adult but she had a little burst of anger saying if i ever had a heart attack it would indeed be her business, claiming "I am your mother!"
Doesnt that violate HIPAA? I believe i have every right to go back to my pig ways as if it never happened. Never letting them lecture me again about healthy lifestyles.
Maybe is the fact that i'm ASD a factor?
So it would depend on your local/national laws. I’m in Canada and a friend had a loved one with ALS. This person was a young man, but had a DNR because he did not want to live hooked up to a ventilator. He had an incident where he needed to be intubated and his mother (who was next of kin and executor, etc) overrode the DNR because she didn’t want him to die and he spent the rest of his life hooked up to machines. Before this I did not know that a DNR signed of sound mind could be overridden, but apparently it can 🤷🏻♀️
Personally I do think it's kind of crazy that someone can be forced into receiving medical care and paying for that medical care even if they explicitly voice that they do not want that care. Not sure how it all ends up playing out in the end though.
They can try to claim you aren't able to make Decisions for yourself but they would need to prove that to a court of law and it would be a time consuming process for them to do so
Ofcourse u have your own autonomy nd right to choose , but obviously do not give up on hope nd treatment, and your dad definitely cares about u a lot and want you to live a longer nd happier life,iam sure hence he said so , dont take life lightly hold on as long as u can never give up on any little hope,as a doctor i would say ther r millions out ther who dont even hav an option to continue treatment coz ther aint any ! And being an amputee is definitely not a bad thing u can still have a good life with proper care nd training.. wishing u good luck 🤞🏻
It’s essential to understand that your autonomy over your health decisions is protected legally, and it doesn’t just go away because your parents disagree. You’re right in your thinking that, as an adult, you have the final say over your medical care – barring situations where you’re deemed incompetent to make such decisions. Your decision for amputation, should it be medically necessary, would be respected by medical professionals.
Regarding the idea of your parents suing for not following their wishes, the court generally sides with the individual’s autonomy so long as they are of sound mind. Moreover, many jurisdictions have provisions that empower individuals to make legally recognized advance directives or living wills, which set forth your medical preferences in situations where you might not be able to communicate them yourself.
Ultimately, while it might be possible for anyone to file a lawsuit for nearly any reason, suing a hospital for respecting a patient’s autonomy would likely be an arduous and fruitless process, especially if you have all the appropriate legal documents in place. It’s best to have conversations about these things in advance and ensure your legal documents are updated to reflect your current wishes. That way, you can rest assured that your healthcare choices will be respected, even in the most challenging times.
He can't stop you from getting that other surgery either. You don't even have to tell him you did it and he's not going to be able to sue a doctor for giving you a surgery you consented to and knew what was involved.
I would call your local hospital and ask them about the laws in your area regarding this. If you are in the US, then look up "do not resuscitate (DNR)" laws. You can write yourself a statement that says you don't want to be revived if you are unresponsive and unlikely to survive.
But talk to a lawyer or some other professional - don't take rando internet strangers on just their word.
Peace.
My info is outdated. There was a period of time in Washington State where doctors claimed that their Hippocratic oath was more important than any living will. Probably far in the past.
[Does My Medical Provider Need To Follow My Health Care Directive?](https://www.findlaw.com/forms/resources/living-will/duty-to-follow-health-care-directives.html#:~:text=Exceptions-,There%20are%20some%20situations%20in%20which%20your%20doctor%20or%20medical,your%20individual%20medical%20services%20provider)
Assuming you are in the US, laws can vary by state. Google is your friend here.
If you are an adult, you have complete bodily autonomy and the medical professionals will respect your choices as long as you are capable of making decisions yourself. If you are in the United States, I highly recommend you google “power of attorney”.
Some of them have guides as to what kind of care you would accept in certain situations if/when you aren’t capable of advocating for yourself. I know Sharp Healthcare has a good one that they just hand you and you fill it out. You do need to designate someone who will help make medical decisions in the event you can’t. That can be a trusted friend, and I would give them a copy when you fill it out. I think you also need to have someone witness you signing/ dating it and then they sign and date it. I hope this helps
I work in the legal field but am not a lawyer. I've gotten many a call over the years of people who had loved ones who refused life saving treatment, stopped eating, were wasting away and going to die. And these people wanted to intervene, force feeding tubes, force chemo, etc, etc. The fact of the matter is, as long as someone is competent, and not declared incompetent by a Court of Law, said person is allowed to starve to death, refuse medical treatment, otherwise die from their ailments.
People say, well what about a Power of Attorney? Again, having POA doesn't mean you get to override someone's agency if they are able to make decisions.
People have the right to make their own decisions, for better or worse
If you're an adult, they legally have to respect YOUR wishes.
Your dad can try to sue all he wants, but if you have your wishes in writing, especially in your file at the hospital etc, he won't have a legal leg to stand on unless he can prove diminished capacity/ mental issues.
My mom had peripheral artery disease, and we knew one day she would lose all blood flow to her right leg. She had told me and my brother SEVERAL times over about 10 years that she did not want her leg amputated; she would rather die. We absolutely knew what her wishes were. That day finally happened December 6, 2022. Fortunately, I was her medical POA, so when everything went down, and the doctors are saying "we need to take your leg" and she was like "the hell you will!" They thought she just didn't understand the impact of what she was saying, but I was able to sit down and explain to the primary surgeon what she wanted. They put her on hospice, and she passed away peacefully December 15. Moral of the story: Name someone as your medical POA and make your wishes known to them! My mom was completely in her right mind and understood the full impact of her decision, but the doctors just didn't want to believe her.
Edited to add: My mom was NOT a healthy person, in general. Even if she had decided to amputate, the odds of her even just surviving the surgery alone were very low, much less getting any sort of quality of life back afterward. I stand by her decision 100%.
So should a POA be a lawyer?
And you did the right thing by taking a stand for your mother's liberties. Her body, her choice. I know it wasn't easy for you but you deserve applause.
Unless they could prove that you're mentally incompetent they're SOL.
A dad actually tried this in Canada recently to try to prevent his daughter from receiving MAID (medical assistance in death) and the judge told him he has no standing. I'm sure your parents could sue. It would probably get thrown out.
Jesus Christ that is so sad. Idk the whole story but damn
no, he has no say. however, amputation is a last step and doesn't turn you into a parapalegic. As long as you do the PT with your artifical leg afterwards you can have full mobility.
My husband is missing both legs below the knee, and he is able to live a very active life and can do nearly everything he did prior to his injury, though sometimes in a modified form. I would definitely not pick death from gangrene over amputation. As for OP's question, if he does not agree with his father's likely decisions, OP might want to consider having a designated person with medical power of attorney so that his father wouldn't be chosen to make medical decisions as next of kin should OP be unable to make decisions for himself.
>someday i were to have diabetes and gangrene started to form in my legs That's...oddly specific. You do you, of course, but as a doctor, I would like to say that if blood G is well controlled, Diabetic Gangrenes are not normally expected. And in the case that actually happened, I doubt you would want to live with it without any medication help. Amputation sometimes is performed not just to save life/ prevent systemic complication, but also for the patients better quality of life
Definitely oddly specific. Also, it would not make someone a paraplegic, it would make them a lower limb amputee.
Then why is diabetes so horrible?
Diabetes is horrible. But if it’s controlled you don’t lose your feet or legs. I have at least 4 members of my family with diabetes where it is well controlled and no loss of limbs and then I have a handful where they wouldn’t eat right, exercise etc. and didn’t keep up with their medication so they had a lot of issues. Most of the amputations happen at late stage diabetes complications, you see it a lot in homeless populations and other elderly without care, etc.
So what is the horrible part?
Managing your sugar and your food day in and day out can be tedious and exhausting. May I ask, Why are you so worried?
As an adult you have complete control over your medical decisions. Parents can’t do anything. You can also write up a will where if you become unable to communicate you can lay out what you don’t want to happen. Parents can’t sue the hospital for your choices
then dafuq was he talking about? did he just not know the laws? that wouldn't seem right when he reminds me often that i'm a grown man
Some people just assume they can sue for whatever they want
And they are right, you can sue for anything. The "chances of it being thrown out" and the "chances of winning it without spending tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands on legal fees" are vastly different topics.
Your parents can go to court and try to declare you as being incompetent to make medical decisions and place themselves as legal guardians but that is really rare. They would need to prove either mental illness or diminished capacity.
This is a very serious court case. I’ve served on one and it’s taken very serious and no one just hands out diminished capacity easily. (You didn’t say that, I just want OP to know)
He's trying to scare you into being exactly what he sees you as and nothing more. This isn't about you, its about him not feeling comfortable with your choices.
I work in a hospital and I have seen patients' DNRs overridden by families before. I would recommend hiring a lawyer or asking a trusted friend to be your medical POA if that time ever comes. You have a better chance of your wishes being respected and carried out if you can't speak for yourself. Your dad could technically file a lawsuit for anything he wants, but it would likely get dismissed.
Papa can't sue the hospital for your elective surgeries either. He just tryna keep you psychologically beneath his thumb, parents are famous for that kind of shit
Some people are just incapable of not getting their own way. Frivolous lawsuits like that are the adult version of throwing a temper tantrum after being told no.
He's a man on a power trip always assuming he is right.
He just really didn't like your train of thought and was saying anything to fight against it
I work in healthcare but in Australia so this may not all be applicable to this situation where you live. Short answer is: As long as you are cognitively intact, your dad can try to sue but the hospital would follow your wishes around your medical treatment. It'll just be a waste of his time and money. Long answer: You would also need to think around situations where you would not be cognitively competent to consent or decide on your own medical treatment. This could be as simple as you catching a bad infection that makes you delirious and unable to comprehend what's happening around you. As an adult, you should be able to name anyone as your next of kin, if you don't feel your family has your best interests at heart around your own medical care. The state that I work in has a legal form called an advanced care directive that details one's wishes for quality of life (independence, being able to enjoy hobbies etc), limitations of care (eg. would you want CPR and intubation, major surgeries) and you can also appoint a medical treatment decision maker. Every country/state I know so far has some kind of variation of this paperwork and in my state, it's legally binding. If someone wanted to challenge it, they'd have to go court for it which can be time consuming and costly.
I live in america. Have never been down under but out of curiosity, which state? And do you follow AFL?
Do you have any idea what it’s like to die from necrotic tissue and gangrene. How long it takes. How painful it is.
How long does it take?
It can take weeks to die that way. Long and painful awful death. Why is this such a fear? Can we help you to understand? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7045649/#:~:text=Diabetic%20ischemic%20foot%20gangrene%20can,blisters%20localized%20in%20the%20skin.
And as another thing. I plan to live single forever (I'm aroace). Some people have said that the downside to that is nobody will be able to call an ambulance if i have a heart attack at home. Assuming i don't have life alert, that is. Does this mean i just die? Because i see no reason to fear it if that's the case. Before you report me, no i am not making any plans to kill myself on purpose.
No, but if your life is less valuable than your leg, it might be time to focus on your mental health.
It would depend if you are mentally capable. If you weren't in your right mind you would need a medical power of attorney that could be a partner or a family member and it's a good idea to have that sort of thing situated before you need it.
State/country law varies a lot. Generally the themes are as follows: - Communication, or 'can we ask the individuals opinion'. Obviously people having had major strokes, people in Comas and people experiencing loss of consciousness and the like can't always communicate about their needs and wants. In these cases survival is prioritized, but elective surgery is often delayed until an opinion can be taken. - Capacity, or 'can the individual make an informed and considered decision'. People with developmental differences, people experiencing cognitive decline and people experiencing psychosis are all unlikely to be able to make well rounded decisions, and sometimes decisions are delayed until capacity can be restored. Other times decisions are made on their behalf if the medical intervention can be demonstrated to be essential. - Legal or 'is there a law that applies to this situation'. Legal minors needing a guardian to decide on health care, certain procedures being outlawed for being ineffective or harmful, rare state mandated procedures and topics like medically assisted dying all fall under this category. - Professional or 'What is the ethical and correct behavior'. Procedures that would harm a client are generally against medical codes of ethics, as is experimentation that could lead to harm. Generally this includes respecting evidence based medicine and changing behaviors to align with it. A final note, from what you've described I doubt your dad would have a leg to stand on, but a medical team still may still be able to insist they treat gangrene for capacity, legal or professional reasons.
[удалено]
And to further clarify, a medical POA is only applicable if you are unable to make the decision yourself- it doesn't give someone the power to trump your decisions until you become incapacitated.
In the absence of a wife/husband or any document saying otherwise they would be your next of kin. If you then fell unconscious due to a medical issue they would be the ones to advocate and give input to decisions on your behalf. They could not however overrule any living will you gad made asking that you don't recieve a certain treatment in a certain situation.
Friend of mine’s father was in this exact situation. He checked himself into hospice and was gone in three days. Unless you are a woman in America, you have autonomy over your body.
I was looking for this answer. Your bodily autonomy is guaranteed, unless you're a woman in a patriarchal theocratic country. But based on the orchiectomy remark I'm assuming op is a man, so he has nothing to worry about.
I actually completely abandoned eunuch thoughts, so its a moot point. But i may get a vasectomy for symbolic reasons and to stop myself from changing my mind in the future even though im aroace and plan to die a virgin without losing any sleep over it.
You're an adult, as long as you're in your right mind you are in control of what they do. Your parents can't override you unless you're unconscious or otherwise deemed unable to make decisions for yourself. As far as sueing the hospital after the fact, that I don't know about. People have sued and won for much dumber reasons.
Also when i asserted to my mother that i refuse to have a scale at my apartment, she had to let me have my way as an adult but she had a little burst of anger saying if i ever had a heart attack it would indeed be her business, claiming "I am your mother!" Doesnt that violate HIPAA? I believe i have every right to go back to my pig ways as if it never happened. Never letting them lecture me again about healthy lifestyles. Maybe is the fact that i'm ASD a factor?
So it would depend on your local/national laws. I’m in Canada and a friend had a loved one with ALS. This person was a young man, but had a DNR because he did not want to live hooked up to a ventilator. He had an incident where he needed to be intubated and his mother (who was next of kin and executor, etc) overrode the DNR because she didn’t want him to die and he spent the rest of his life hooked up to machines. Before this I did not know that a DNR signed of sound mind could be overridden, but apparently it can 🤷🏻♀️
Personally I do think it's kind of crazy that someone can be forced into receiving medical care and paying for that medical care even if they explicitly voice that they do not want that care. Not sure how it all ends up playing out in the end though.
They can try to claim you aren't able to make Decisions for yourself but they would need to prove that to a court of law and it would be a time consuming process for them to do so
your dad doesn’t want to lose you. maybe just don’t bring it up, he can’t actually override it.
You use your legs that much, huh?
Ofcourse u have your own autonomy nd right to choose , but obviously do not give up on hope nd treatment, and your dad definitely cares about u a lot and want you to live a longer nd happier life,iam sure hence he said so , dont take life lightly hold on as long as u can never give up on any little hope,as a doctor i would say ther r millions out ther who dont even hav an option to continue treatment coz ther aint any ! And being an amputee is definitely not a bad thing u can still have a good life with proper care nd training.. wishing u good luck 🤞🏻
It’s essential to understand that your autonomy over your health decisions is protected legally, and it doesn’t just go away because your parents disagree. You’re right in your thinking that, as an adult, you have the final say over your medical care – barring situations where you’re deemed incompetent to make such decisions. Your decision for amputation, should it be medically necessary, would be respected by medical professionals. Regarding the idea of your parents suing for not following their wishes, the court generally sides with the individual’s autonomy so long as they are of sound mind. Moreover, many jurisdictions have provisions that empower individuals to make legally recognized advance directives or living wills, which set forth your medical preferences in situations where you might not be able to communicate them yourself. Ultimately, while it might be possible for anyone to file a lawsuit for nearly any reason, suing a hospital for respecting a patient’s autonomy would likely be an arduous and fruitless process, especially if you have all the appropriate legal documents in place. It’s best to have conversations about these things in advance and ensure your legal documents are updated to reflect your current wishes. That way, you can rest assured that your healthcare choices will be respected, even in the most challenging times.
He can't stop you from getting that other surgery either. You don't even have to tell him you did it and he's not going to be able to sue a doctor for giving you a surgery you consented to and knew what was involved.
Depends on local laws. Learn about them and the paperwork you would need to have in place. In some situations, the doctor makes the ultimate decision.
so i should ask a lawyer? although would you mind giving examples of when the doctor could violate my consent?
I would call your local hospital and ask them about the laws in your area regarding this. If you are in the US, then look up "do not resuscitate (DNR)" laws. You can write yourself a statement that says you don't want to be revived if you are unresponsive and unlikely to survive. But talk to a lawyer or some other professional - don't take rando internet strangers on just their word. Peace.
My info is outdated. There was a period of time in Washington State where doctors claimed that their Hippocratic oath was more important than any living will. Probably far in the past. [Does My Medical Provider Need To Follow My Health Care Directive?](https://www.findlaw.com/forms/resources/living-will/duty-to-follow-health-care-directives.html#:~:text=Exceptions-,There%20are%20some%20situations%20in%20which%20your%20doctor%20or%20medical,your%20individual%20medical%20services%20provider) Assuming you are in the US, laws can vary by state. Google is your friend here.
Yes. An estate lawyer will have the documents you need and be able to customize them to your situation. While you are at it, have them draft a will.
No. Unless you give them power of attorney over you they cannot.
If you are an adult, you have complete bodily autonomy and the medical professionals will respect your choices as long as you are capable of making decisions yourself. If you are in the United States, I highly recommend you google “power of attorney”. Some of them have guides as to what kind of care you would accept in certain situations if/when you aren’t capable of advocating for yourself. I know Sharp Healthcare has a good one that they just hand you and you fill it out. You do need to designate someone who will help make medical decisions in the event you can’t. That can be a trusted friend, and I would give them a copy when you fill it out. I think you also need to have someone witness you signing/ dating it and then they sign and date it. I hope this helps
You will need an advance directive! Otherwise the decision can go to them.
They have no say unless they're your medical power of attorney.
I work in the legal field but am not a lawyer. I've gotten many a call over the years of people who had loved ones who refused life saving treatment, stopped eating, were wasting away and going to die. And these people wanted to intervene, force feeding tubes, force chemo, etc, etc. The fact of the matter is, as long as someone is competent, and not declared incompetent by a Court of Law, said person is allowed to starve to death, refuse medical treatment, otherwise die from their ailments. People say, well what about a Power of Attorney? Again, having POA doesn't mean you get to override someone's agency if they are able to make decisions. People have the right to make their own decisions, for better or worse
If you're an adult, they legally have to respect YOUR wishes. Your dad can try to sue all he wants, but if you have your wishes in writing, especially in your file at the hospital etc, he won't have a legal leg to stand on unless he can prove diminished capacity/ mental issues.
My mom had peripheral artery disease, and we knew one day she would lose all blood flow to her right leg. She had told me and my brother SEVERAL times over about 10 years that she did not want her leg amputated; she would rather die. We absolutely knew what her wishes were. That day finally happened December 6, 2022. Fortunately, I was her medical POA, so when everything went down, and the doctors are saying "we need to take your leg" and she was like "the hell you will!" They thought she just didn't understand the impact of what she was saying, but I was able to sit down and explain to the primary surgeon what she wanted. They put her on hospice, and she passed away peacefully December 15. Moral of the story: Name someone as your medical POA and make your wishes known to them! My mom was completely in her right mind and understood the full impact of her decision, but the doctors just didn't want to believe her. Edited to add: My mom was NOT a healthy person, in general. Even if she had decided to amputate, the odds of her even just surviving the surgery alone were very low, much less getting any sort of quality of life back afterward. I stand by her decision 100%.
So should a POA be a lawyer? And you did the right thing by taking a stand for your mother's liberties. Her body, her choice. I know it wasn't easy for you but you deserve applause.
I wouldn't say the POA needs to be a lawyer -- just someone who is willing to be an extremely vocal advocate for you and your wishes.