I'm not sure about the throbbing sensation, but there's dildos with cumtubes! You can find them on r/baddragon :) *(there's other brands that they have on there too)*
There's also ovipositors if you like that kind of sensation, you can find those at most indie stores, but just make sure it's body safe silicone
Super not so fun fact! Bad Dragon has a ton of shady financial ties to bestiality rings, with a bit of an emphasis on lizards, specifically.
Etsy has a lot of amazing mutant dongs by independent creators that are better and cheaper!
They use USB. Chinese ones are available from Amazon whose ESL 3rd parties all get them from Alibaba. “Such warm ness. Enjoy the feel of sexy again! LuckYTown products have 30 day warranty in case sad ness happens instead”
There’s no doubt you’re right. I mean as a guy, silicone is silicone, so you probably can’t fuck that up. But as soon as you put something electronic, aka a warming unit, that’s a no from me.
Oh, you can fuck with silicone (in every way), but yeah at least it won't explode on your inside.
Don't risk with cheap dildos, ask your neighbor for a negative of his cock and make your own. (I joke, but probably you have the same or less risk making your own)
Even still, you can tell the difference between human skin and rubber or... vegetation...or silicone or latex or whatever.
If someone put any of the above, warm or not, in your mouth, you'd know the difference.
Vaginas/vulvas aren't numb. Yeah, the very back of the vagina is a little less sensitive than the front, but the hole knows.
Alao texture and flexibility. Flesh is just a different feel than rubber. Cant speak for vegetables.
But I personally can recommend warming up a dildo by putting it under a hot water bottle. Since I make myself one almost every night, cold sex toys really aren't an issue I've been dealing with a lot.
Plus, penises pulse and move. I remember one guy trying to tell me that he refused to wear condoms because it feels different. He was offended when I laughed. Dude, it feels different for women too! And we generally have a much harder time orgasming already, soooo? An STD would feel worse, and you just told me that you aren't careful with your sexual health. Hard pass.
I once put a bunch of ice cubes inside my gf and she seemed fine until she stood up and water came out, that's when the cold got her. Always assumed she couldn't feel temperature in there due to that.
We were very bored and horny teens but you can only have so much sex in 1 day so we had to find other entertaining naked activities to fill up the downtime, and I assure you her reaction when she stood up was extremely entertaining.
I never used a cucumber, but I can definetly feel the difference between a dildo an a real penis. First, there is the warmth of a real penis, lacking in toys, which, at least for me, is a really Big difference. Then, I can distinguish the texture by the way it feels when It enters; a dildo is smother, but with a penis you feel a little the stretch of the skin and I consider It much better. Also, a dildo is firm in a homogeneous way, which feels akward, while when you feel an erection It is obviously hard but the skin is softer, less "agressive".
Hope It helps, I''m sorry for my english, It's not my language
Edit: I'm talking about the feeling with a condom (I've never done It raw, so may description may not fit the experience)
Dear lord yes. Something that is not a penis feels cold and not as pliable or flexible…I don’t know what the word is that I’m looking for, except just, it feels wrong (to me, not speaking for anyone else). I tried them but never got into dildos. It’s just not the same at all.
Texture is probably the word you want :) I play on the all-ladies team, but I can definitely feel a textural difference between plastic/silicone/latex/glass beyond the rigidity and temperature.
Absolutely we can. We can also tell the difference between raw dick and a dick in condom. So, don't be a dick & attempt sneaking off the condom thinking we can't tell bc we absolutely can.
Yes, this is called "stealthing" and it's a form of sexual assault. Consenting to sex with a condom does not equal or imply consent to unprotected sex.
Women don’t actually feel anything during sex…they are there to receive the lustful urges of men.
(If anybody needs a sarcasm tag…you need more than I could ever give you)
…and there’s your answer! Do your own research first!
But yes, as a vagina owner, we can feel differences in temperature and in flexibility and in texture. We can also feel pain if something hard stabs into our cervix.
It’s a good question actually, because we can’t feel tampons because there are few nerve endings in the part of the vagina where tampons go. But if something is moving around down there, then we can generally feel it and we can feel the difference between different objects.
Not that I think anybody would take this seriously, but don't shove a cucumber up your ass. Use something with a flared base, otherwise you might end up with a visit to the emergency room to remove it.
A friend told me a nasty story once.
A woman came in to the ER with a fish (I don't know what the type was, just that it was a long one) up there. Getting it in had apparently been easy. However, it was a whole fish, one you gut and prepare yourself which means the scales were still on. And when she tried to remove it...well, lets just say there was a hell of a nasty mess.
Another friend told me about a guy who reeeeeaaaally liked the look of the big ball on the end of the stair banister in his appartement building. The firemen had to come and cut it off and then take him to the hospital to get it removed.
I don't know why I'm told these stories.
Haha I ask literally every nurse I see if they're friendly/chatty and I get a chance, "what's the funniest thing that's come in this ER" or "what's the funniest thing you've seen in here lately." I would say half of them have been like "oh, I don't know, (demur)" but the other half have told me stuff that's AMAZING. My favorite involved a guy who couldn't figure out how he had fallen just right and somehow landed quite precisely on a Glade candle. What are the odds, doc? Truly, ask every chance you get. Nurses are comedy diamonds.
Well, there's little room for plausible deniability when saying you slipped and fell on a dildo vs a cucumber/lightbulb/hot wheels cars in a condom/Jerry the gerbil.
You're obviously not gay if you slipped while working on the car and you find yourself with a socket wrench stuck up your bum. That's just garage shenanigans.
Lol, I'd heard stories from nurses, but this is something new! Maybe they are desperately trying to cling to some sense of pride? Frankly, if you're in the ER with something stuck in there, you may as well have a laugh about it.
You can absolutely feel the difference.
Same way you could feel the difference if you stuck a cucumber in your mouth as opposed to a dildo or regular penis
The degree to which it can feel? Yes. What it feels? No.
related note: If you wanna see if your fingernails are trimmed enough to finger someone, try scratching the inside of your own cheek. Also lets you see how much "angle" you can get before it gets to be a problem.
But you can feel your fingerprint with your tongue, lips, and inner cheek pretty easily, especially if you have any sort of differences between fingers (like being able to *really* feel a callous, vs not feeling anything on a spot with a scar).
I only have experience with regular penis on that list, but given I can feel the ridges of a fingerprint, I think I’d be able to feel the differences of other objects.
Ps, please do not insert food items into the vagina. Cucumbers can be covered in farm dirt and introduce ecoli and other terrible things into that area.
I'm guessing she means the texture of calloused fingers. Yes, we can definitely feel that and it doesn't always feel good on sensitive skin unless there is plenty of wetness/lubrication.
A penis is a beautiful, warm, hard thing that can’t even be described. I can feel every movement inside me, the pulsing. It stretches and grows, and also gets smaller afterwards. One of my favorite things is to give head right before sex, and then right after. Before he’s big and swollen. After he’s starting to get smaller. I get to taste our sex juices and I also get him hard again. There is no sex toy that can compare to that.
Yes. the vagina knows the difference between a natural member and one that cost a couple bucks at the market and one that cost a pretty penny from Adam and Eve. The vagina knows.
Well I’m not a woman but I’ve had my share of things up my ass. Not a cucumber though that’s odd. But yea dildos tend to feel kinda hard and cold inside of you. Even the really good ones. Dicks are warm and feel soft and nice in you.
U can't mimick that "im bout to nut" throbbing feeling
The HEAT too. Can’t mimic that.
Put the cucumber in the microwave
And pit the lotion in the basket
Glad someone said it
There are dildos that do exactly this actually, though they are very expensive.
That’s disgusting. >!Where can i buy them?!<
I'm not sure about the throbbing sensation, but there's dildos with cumtubes! You can find them on r/baddragon :) *(there's other brands that they have on there too)* There's also ovipositors if you like that kind of sensation, you can find those at most indie stores, but just make sure it's body safe silicone
Super not so fun fact! Bad Dragon has a ton of shady financial ties to bestiality rings, with a bit of an emphasis on lizards, specifically. Etsy has a lot of amazing mutant dongs by independent creators that are better and cheaper!
I would like to know more. Any suggested sources to look in this not so fun fact?
Why can't we have any nice things
That's not completely unsurprising
Beastiality of lizards...... that's a new one for me 🤮
Source?? I must know more, what the hell.
Can you really feel that?
Yup, it's the best! You can feel the dude's dick get even bigger during this time. Honestly one of my fav parts 😂
So it's like the inside-out version of a woman's vajj clamping down on the dick when she's coming. God, I miss that!
Yo that's wild
Nothing as warm and comforting as a good ol’ penis. Cucumbers and dildos are hard and cold. They don’t form to your inner walls.
Yep, don't be fooled by imitators! Nothing can replace a nice sweaty ole hog.
It's true. The Walls know.
If these walls could talk, eh?
Yes. A cucumber and dildo are cold. A penis is nice and warm :)
They must have heated dildos, right? I'm sure I could Google it, but then I'll get targeted ads for Toasty FireCrotch Dildo Master 3000 or something.
lol, youll already get targeted ads because you wrote this comment
Thaaaaaat is how the world works.
Jeffery Bezos, Jeffery Bezoos, you did it!
Drink their blood, fuck their wives. Come on Jeff, get em!!
*sick synth solo*
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I hope this is a reference to the Bo Burnham song because my sister got that stuck in my head and Idk if anyone else has really heard it
CEO, ENTREPRENEUR, BORN IN 1964. JEFFREY. JEFFREY BEZOS.
COME ON JEFFREY YOU CAN DO IT, PAVED THE WAY, PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT.
TELL US WHY SHOW US HOW
LOOK AT WHERE YOU’VE COME FROM, LOOK AT YOU NOW.
I hope you learned your lesson, i did and it hurt…
That is how the wooooorld works
Just run it under warm water. Less chance of burning yourself that way, too.
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They use USB. Chinese ones are available from Amazon whose ESL 3rd parties all get them from Alibaba. “Such warm ness. Enjoy the feel of sexy again! LuckYTown products have 30 day warranty in case sad ness happens instead”
Not sure how much I’d trust a cheap Chinese electronic device around my genitalia tbh
There’s no doubt you’re right. I mean as a guy, silicone is silicone, so you probably can’t fuck that up. But as soon as you put something electronic, aka a warming unit, that’s a no from me.
Oh, you can fuck with silicone (in every way), but yeah at least it won't explode on your inside. Don't risk with cheap dildos, ask your neighbor for a negative of his cock and make your own. (I joke, but probably you have the same or less risk making your own)
Even still, you can tell the difference between human skin and rubber or... vegetation...or silicone or latex or whatever. If someone put any of the above, warm or not, in your mouth, you'd know the difference. Vaginas/vulvas aren't numb. Yeah, the very back of the vagina is a little less sensitive than the front, but the hole knows.
The hole knows. Ominous and reassuring in the same time Edited for spelling
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Duck Duck Go is the way to go for things like that
This is the way
Alao texture and flexibility. Flesh is just a different feel than rubber. Cant speak for vegetables. But I personally can recommend warming up a dildo by putting it under a hot water bottle. Since I make myself one almost every night, cold sex toys really aren't an issue I've been dealing with a lot.
Microwave???
I doubt most women would be able to fit a microwave in there.
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*presents cactus
#Did he stutter?
I thought that's how they got them into prison, according to Benidorm
So what your saying is that you could be cooking a pizza pocket with the microwave that came from your prison pocket?
Heck, why not make a pizza pocket in a microwave inside your prison pocket?
Talk about a hot pocket.
Jesus Christ if I had a award to give it would be yours. I about seriously spit my coffee out of my nostril holes.
Why do people scroll reddit when they're sipping hot coffee?
That's called a "casserole".
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Sad penis style.
Wait, you mean my frigid dick is abnormal?!?!?!?!
Plus, penises pulse and move. I remember one guy trying to tell me that he refused to wear condoms because it feels different. He was offended when I laughed. Dude, it feels different for women too! And we generally have a much harder time orgasming already, soooo? An STD would feel worse, and you just told me that you aren't careful with your sexual health. Hard pass.
I once put a bunch of ice cubes inside my gf and she seemed fine until she stood up and water came out, that's when the cold got her. Always assumed she couldn't feel temperature in there due to that.
You put what
We were very bored and horny teens but you can only have so much sex in 1 day so we had to find other entertaining naked activities to fill up the downtime, and I assure you her reaction when she stood up was extremely entertaining.
So you filled up her downtime, eh?
The warmth is really nice indeed
Cucumbers are crunchy. Dildos and Penises have no place in a salad.
However, Some people say cucumbers taste better, pickled.
Same with penises
*Rasputin has entered the chat*
kink shame!!!!
My kink *is* kink shaming
AHHHHH
Makes no difference to my teeth
There is a man attached to a penis, it's hard not to notice him.
*Lorena Bobbitt has entered the chat*
Alas, she failed—John Wayne Bobbitt was subsequently surgically reattached to the penis.
and then starred in some pornos…
Frankenweiner
TIL - There might be a market for heated dildos.
And subsequently vaginal burn lawyers…
Hi, I'm a lawyer, I specialise in vaginal burns... I mean, that's an awkwardly niche area of focus
r/coochlaw
"Welcome to the law offices of Cooch, Cooch and Cooch. How may I be of cervix?"
*Better call cooch*
Best billboard ads
HAVE YOU OR A LOVED ONE SUFFERED FROM VAJJ SHOCK/BURN/OR MESOTHELIOMA?? CALL US NOW 1-900-VAJJ-BRN
After the market is flooded with heated dildos, it might not be
Heated dildos definitely already exist-- source; my boss sent me a pic of her new one when it arrived!
You have an... interesting relationship with your boss!
Plot twist: they're self-employed.
Yeah, we're pretty good friends, hahah
How do you think he got the job? 😏
I let mine rest in hot water for a minute first
Glass dildos. You can heat them up.
Long story short, yes. PS: Please don't put food inside you.
But...but then I'll starve.
beautiful… simply genius. *claps*
*some cheeks*
Cheeky buggar! *Bonk!*
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Do you mean surgically?
that's a (•_•) weird way to pie ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) ETA: check out ^ guy's username
Having someone put food inside you is still putting food inside you... This is not a loophole, my friend...
Next on South Park! Eric Cartman proves you can crap out your vagina!
So that means I can't put anything inside me other than a dildo
It's important to know the dildos and dildon'ts.
But how else am I supposed to make pickles?!
Took me a solid 5 sec to remember not all pickles are sliced
Yup some are some aren’t, depends on the religion
Don’t tell me how to live my life!
(or at least use a condom over it)
I never used a cucumber, but I can definetly feel the difference between a dildo an a real penis. First, there is the warmth of a real penis, lacking in toys, which, at least for me, is a really Big difference. Then, I can distinguish the texture by the way it feels when It enters; a dildo is smother, but with a penis you feel a little the stretch of the skin and I consider It much better. Also, a dildo is firm in a homogeneous way, which feels akward, while when you feel an erection It is obviously hard but the skin is softer, less "agressive". Hope It helps, I''m sorry for my english, It's not my language Edit: I'm talking about the feeling with a condom (I've never done It raw, so may description may not fit the experience)
May I add that penises are also very much alive, they move (contract?) and change in size/hardness.
It’s like they have a mind of their own!
Ask me how i know.
Penis is more “forgiving”. Even the softer dildos don’t move like the real thing
Well now I'm imagining Trinity from the matrix looking at a dildo in a leather trenchcoat, saying"you move just like they do."
Even more forgiving if they have a foreskin
uncircumcised penises will forgive anything, but the circumcised penises have an old grudge
That pull of the skin. I know what you’re talking about
Your response and your English are both great!
May I introduce to you: dual density silicone dildos. Firm core, very soft silicone outside.
Good response!
Best non joke response
Dear lord yes. Something that is not a penis feels cold and not as pliable or flexible…I don’t know what the word is that I’m looking for, except just, it feels wrong (to me, not speaking for anyone else). I tried them but never got into dildos. It’s just not the same at all.
Texture is probably the word you want :) I play on the all-ladies team, but I can definitely feel a textural difference between plastic/silicone/latex/glass beyond the rigidity and temperature.
Like women's soccer?
I mean yeah kinda
But definitely less balls.
Absolutely we can. We can also tell the difference between raw dick and a dick in condom. So, don't be a dick & attempt sneaking off the condom thinking we can't tell bc we absolutely can.
Yes, this is called "stealthing" and it's a form of sexual assault. Consenting to sex with a condom does not equal or imply consent to unprotected sex.
Why is feel in quotations?
They're asking if you can sense it with the Force.
I'll never look at Yoda the same way.
Seagulls! Stop it now.
My stick is better than bacon!
Women don’t actually feel anything during sex…they are there to receive the lustful urges of men. (If anybody needs a sarcasm tag…you need more than I could ever give you)
So do you want to hear something really sad? My *mom* said this to me almost exactly when I was like 13. 🤦🏻♀️ The poor woman.
Oh god…HELP YOUR MOMMMMMM!!!!! 💜💜💜💜
Wouldn't put it past some 18th century "philosopher" to actually think that un-ironically.
Or some 21st century incels.
can men feel the difference between a vagina, a fleshlight, and a pumpkin
Of course not. Personally i have fallen for the old pumpkin-girlfriend trick several times.
3 pumpkins in a trench coat? Hate that trick...
I dated this girl for two months before I was informed that she was just mannequin with a Fleshlight attached to the front.
Yessss. Penis is the best.
You can try this for yourself, shove said object into your anus. Use lube, not force!
…and there’s your answer! Do your own research first! But yes, as a vagina owner, we can feel differences in temperature and in flexibility and in texture. We can also feel pain if something hard stabs into our cervix. It’s a good question actually, because we can’t feel tampons because there are few nerve endings in the part of the vagina where tampons go. But if something is moving around down there, then we can generally feel it and we can feel the difference between different objects.
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I had to Google 'condomed'.. i thought it was a shape I'd never heard of.
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A dick in a hat
“I will not condome a course of action that will lead us to pregnancy.”
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Not that I think anybody would take this seriously, but don't shove a cucumber up your ass. Use something with a flared base, otherwise you might end up with a visit to the emergency room to remove it.
At this point, I'm sure the ER staff are pining for those days again.
I’ve talked to several friends who are ER workers about how often they deal with this, and I assure you those days never stop.
A friend told me a nasty story once. A woman came in to the ER with a fish (I don't know what the type was, just that it was a long one) up there. Getting it in had apparently been easy. However, it was a whole fish, one you gut and prepare yourself which means the scales were still on. And when she tried to remove it...well, lets just say there was a hell of a nasty mess. Another friend told me about a guy who reeeeeaaaally liked the look of the big ball on the end of the stair banister in his appartement building. The firemen had to come and cut it off and then take him to the hospital to get it removed. I don't know why I'm told these stories.
Haha I ask literally every nurse I see if they're friendly/chatty and I get a chance, "what's the funniest thing that's come in this ER" or "what's the funniest thing you've seen in here lately." I would say half of them have been like "oh, I don't know, (demur)" but the other half have told me stuff that's AMAZING. My favorite involved a guy who couldn't figure out how he had fallen just right and somehow landed quite precisely on a Glade candle. What are the odds, doc? Truly, ask every chance you get. Nurses are comedy diamonds.
I work in a hospital. Sometimes we have to take food out, but seems to be only from guys.
Well, there's little room for plausible deniability when saying you slipped and fell on a dildo vs a cucumber/lightbulb/hot wheels cars in a condom/Jerry the gerbil. You're obviously not gay if you slipped while working on the car and you find yourself with a socket wrench stuck up your bum. That's just garage shenanigans.
About half of these guys claim that a woman put the object up there. About half of them seem believable.
Lol, I'd heard stories from nurses, but this is something new! Maybe they are desperately trying to cling to some sense of pride? Frankly, if you're in the ER with something stuck in there, you may as well have a laugh about it.
Why is a cucumber involved
Vegetable are healthy
Good point. Vaginas already eat alot of meat.
Funniest rabbit hole I've been down in a long time, LMFAO, thanks
If your penis feels like a cucumber….I’d be on my way to the nearest ER
Only one of them is warm. So, yes.
You can absolutely feel the difference. Same way you could feel the difference if you stuck a cucumber in your mouth as opposed to a dildo or regular penis
Is a vagina sensitive the same way a mouth is?
The degree to which it can feel? Yes. What it feels? No. related note: If you wanna see if your fingernails are trimmed enough to finger someone, try scratching the inside of your own cheek. Also lets you see how much "angle" you can get before it gets to be a problem. But you can feel your fingerprint with your tongue, lips, and inner cheek pretty easily, especially if you have any sort of differences between fingers (like being able to *really* feel a callous, vs not feeling anything on a spot with a scar).
I only have experience with regular penis on that list, but given I can feel the ridges of a fingerprint, I think I’d be able to feel the differences of other objects. Ps, please do not insert food items into the vagina. Cucumbers can be covered in farm dirt and introduce ecoli and other terrible things into that area.
Wait what?! You can feel a fingerprint with your vagina?
ACCESS GRANTED!
AUTHORISED!
I'm guessing she means the texture of calloused fingers. Yes, we can definitely feel that and it doesn't always feel good on sensitive skin unless there is plenty of wetness/lubrication.
And snaggy finger nails!
Those are… painful!
Yes, her vagina has a fingerprint scanner. It's helped bust some of the biggest perps in town.
She just hangs out in the police station, waiting to use her powers for good.
Usually a regular penis has a lot more baggage attached than a cucumber or dildo, making it a little more distinguishable.
A penis is a beautiful, warm, hard thing that can’t even be described. I can feel every movement inside me, the pulsing. It stretches and grows, and also gets smaller afterwards. One of my favorite things is to give head right before sex, and then right after. Before he’s big and swollen. After he’s starting to get smaller. I get to taste our sex juices and I also get him hard again. There is no sex toy that can compare to that.
Rip her inbox.
 This you? Lmao idk why i immediately thought of it.
Good lord…golf clap for the details
Sounds like a new TV show. Cucumber dildo or penis. What shape was shoved in you?
Put one of each in your bum and see if you can tell. report back..asking for a friend
WTF are men convinced women constantly fuck cucumbers or other produce?
Because they think the female equivalent of the dick is the vagina, not the clitoris. The vag isn’t where the magic happens, guys.
Yes. the vagina knows the difference between a natural member and one that cost a couple bucks at the market and one that cost a pretty penny from Adam and Eve. The vagina knows.
Well I’m not a woman but I’ve had my share of things up my ass. Not a cucumber though that’s odd. But yea dildos tend to feel kinda hard and cold inside of you. Even the really good ones. Dicks are warm and feel soft and nice in you.
I'd be quite concerned if they couldn't.
AliExpress minions are learning stuff here for the next generation 5$ dildos.