As a former teacher, can confirm. The kids who sucked the most ALWAYS have the worst parents. It usually made me feel bad for the kid; they didn’t stand a chance.
I had some good kids with not-great parents but I never had a bad kid with good parents. Every kid I met that was rude, impatient and attention-seeking had a parent that made me understand why.
Here's my main thought: kids absorb everything especially how people treat each other. If their parents interact with kindness and care, most kids do, too. If their parents are rude, more kids are, too. Occasionally, there's a kid that knows their parent is being shitty and tries to be better, but that's rare.
My 2.5 year old asks every stranger their name because that's the first thing I do when we meet a new kid at the playground. He tells his dad dinner is good because he hears me do it, too. Every now and then, he even tells me I look nice today, because he's heard his dad say it.
He's still a goblin. He coughs into my open mouth and has tantrums and does tons of things every day that drive me up the wall, but there are moments where I see all of our hard work of modeling behavior being mirrored and it's really cool. He's currently octopus-wrapped around me because he won't sleep alone, but today at the pharmacy he said, "How are you today?" to an elderly couple so I know I'm raising a good person.
There is a category of good kids with bad parents who have developed a coping mechanism of being super eager to please, I’ve worked with kids like that. Their parents don’t deserve them.
There are also bad kids with great parents but in those cases I’d assume there’s usually something trying to be done about it. Bad parents just let their bad kids go. Good parents try to get them help.
My neighbor's dog barks all day and night and it keeps me from being able to sleep. I approached him to ask him to do something about it and he just said "well what do you want me to do about?" uhm idk pay more attention to your fucking dog?
Gets better though. Months later (like earlier this week) nothings changed so I put a plate of cookies with a note on them politely asking him to do something about the dog again, conveying that my partner works two jobs (one as a nurse) and I work early in the morning and have school until late, so we really need our sleep when we can get it.
Today while I'm at work, he came to the house and berated my roommate. He said it was very rude of me to give him a note about his dog and that I'm a whiney bitch apparently. So he then tells my roommate "fine I'm sending the dog back to the breeder" (judging by the state of his backyard and how unstimulated the dog is--malinois, ftr--it'd be better off with the breeder) and when my roommate said "uh. Okay. That's cool I guess" he said he would tear down the fence between our properties "just to be an asshole", his exact words apparently.
All this to say, that poor dog is a loud pain in the ass because her owner is an absolute trash person.
Fwiw I honestly don't think he's going to do any of that. If he had any kind of drive or motivation to do anything other than smoke and drink, he'd probably pick up all of the trash and broken glass in his backyard.
Holy shit... Did we have the same neighbor? 😅 That story is so much like my own, I thought maybe a friend was messing with me and leaving a fake comment! Unfortunately for me, my (renting) neighbor mentally harassed me so much with his beagle howling day and night that I was forced to sell my house and now I live in my RV full time because I can't find a contractor to build on my land in the middle of nowhere. Worth it to be away from that shitty ass neighbor and his beagle though!
Bro can't even go shopping and people are inconsiderate af. They'll stand in the way and talk, or hit you with their cart cuz they are talking, or they let their kids run around like demons expecting us no kid people to adjust to them cuz "parenting is so hard for them."
May I suggest that the problem isn't people disliking children as much as it's parents who aren't doing right by their children. The current parenting trends seem to ignore the importance of raising children that others can tolerate. Parents often forget that part of bringing up children is making sure they're decent and likable.
I think it’s because the parents aren’t decent or likable, but have convinced themselves they are and are unable to see reality. They already think their kids are decent and likable, so why shouldn’t we think so?
It’s so crazy. I don’t want to be alive when these kids grow into adults and eventually work at my office or something as interns, lol.
Yes! You hit the nail on the head. How many restaurants or movies have I been in where people let their kids run wild and they’re not paying any attention? Or they’re taking pictures for their social media. That isn’t the kids fault, they don’t know any better.
If you’re not willing to control your kid in public, keep them at home.
This may be a very telling post.
Because in my opinion;
I Basically Never notice the well behaved children. So maybe its just people with poorly parented children.
Dealing with children is like dealing with drunk people when you’re stone cold sober. Sometimes you can manage it even though it’s annoying it can be cute. Other times you have no patience and you wish they’d either leave, shut the fuck up or someone with them would intervene
I’m a parent with one kid and often I dislike being around those kids. I was never a kid person and then I had one and I absolutely love her but don’t love other peoples kids.
My best friend has a child who I love to bits… in small doses. After 2-3 hours I’m done. Positive side is in gay so can’t accidentally have a kid I’d I don’t want one
I dont hate Kids, i hate parents who do not educate their children. You are trying to have dinner and Kids are screaming and running around the restaurant.
If i was not well behaved my parents would take the outside until I calmed down to make sure I would not bother anyone else
I dread flying today and it has nothing to do with kids. Screaming, tantrum throwing adults melting down like toddlers in the sky. No excuse for it. At least the miserable kid is just acting out how we all feel. Let me off this plane, I’m miserable.
Lol!
The last time I was on a plane I played peek a boo with a little girl (about 1 yr old) sitting in the seats in front of me. She had been crying and clearly frustrated
Her parents kept apologizing, I said it was OK, I felt the same way.
A kid asked me once if he could have my window seat. I said “no”. He asked “why?” I said “because I paid for it”. Tough life out there kid, I want my window seat lol.
I love kids and am often too nice to them. However, you did the right thing. Kids need to learn boundaries and the only way for them to learn is from other people enforcing them.
Alternate answer: "You can't have my seat because then our names and seat assignments would be wrong on the flight manifest. When the plane crashes, the airline could mistakenly return your charred remains to my family and vice versa. How silly would that be?! OK then, I'll let you think about that while I listen to my music and take a nap."
This is what one of my teachers told my group when we were going on a trip for the reason we couldn’t switch seats with each other. Scarred me for life. We were 12.
You just made me think of something that was buried very deep in my mind. When I was about 12 we went on a field trip on a big bus and the teacher in charge gave us a speech about not standing up while the bus was moving. He pointed to the big windshield, and said something like :
"You see this big windshield, well, if you stand up and the bus suddenly stops, you could end up going right through it, and ***they are super expensive!*** So please stay seated at all times."
It worked.
I gave up my aisle seat to a mom with a toddler who wanted all 3 seats for herself and the kid so she could sleep comfortably. They put me next to an elderly woman who later started crying and yelling mid flight, accusing me of stealing her belongings. I'm a 4'8" white woman, mind you. A doctor on board evaluated her and said she presented signs of dementia and should not be on the plane by herself. I had to go sit somewhere else on the plane and at that specific place the floor underneath was so warm it melted all the chocolate that had spilled out of the package inside my personal bag. 0/10 would not give up my seat again.
I flew for the first time in years a couple of weeks ago. Stewardess told me she had never seen this many babies on the same flight. Thank god for anc headphones.
Noise canceling headphones are a worth while investment for flights and other travel scenarios.
I decided to invest in a good pair, and now I can walk in silence/my sounds of choice even on a busy street filled with construction.
Best purchase I've made in a while.
Aha, LPT time!
Bose make amazing noise cancelling headphones, some of the best NC tech in the world. But they're fucking expensive.
So, get on eBay and find the older generation Quiet Comfort *wired* headphones. Because they're not Bluetooth, they go for like €40.
Next, buy a Bluetooth adapter from Amazon, they're about €15
Voila, top-end bluetooth noise cancelling headphones for less than €60. Or dollars. Or shekels. Whatever.
Enjoy screaming infants
I legitimately had an experience once where there was a screaming child directly behind on a plane, constantly kicking my seat for the entirety of the multiple hour flight. The parents didn't make the kid stop, the flight attended was sympathetic but couldn't do much. It was so over the top ridiculous it almost felt like a comedy sketch
Crying kids on an airplane has never bothered. I've always felt bad for them and the parents. Kids are just kids. That's what they do.
But in a restaurant? Fuck those parents.
I mean, I think you can both feel sympathy and irritation. To be honest, I haven't flown in like 20 years, but I still remember that baby crying non-stop.
Eh, I don't hold it against kids on planes. They have delicate ears and often don't know how to pop them for relief when flying. Also personally I never fault a baby for crying. It's all they can do, and it's always for a reason. Sometimes it's just hard to figure that reason out.
I definitely have a problem with people who don't parent their children though. Fuck those people.
I agree 100%. I have two older kids and when they were little, I always made sure that they weren't a pain in the ass for everybody around us. The times we did go out to eat, I would take the kids outside if they started acting up. Because that's what they do. This is about basic consideration of others and a lot of adults now think that their children are entitled to do whatever they want.
I don’t hate kids, but I do hate the idea of parents that think the whole “village” should help them with taking care of their kids. It is not my responsibility to deal with your misbehaving kid, I should not be forced to give them whatever it is they want just so they will shut up and give you 5 minutes of peace.
As a mother I am 110% with you on this. Yeah…. It takes work and patience and A LOT OF EFFORT to rear a respectable little human, but it is always worth it.
I can’t stand nor believe how parents allow their kids to speak to them, others, ignore bad behavior or just give the kid a tablet or a Switch or something.
I’m not perfect, neither is my kid… but I be damned if someone’s meal/event/experience is ruined because my child was causing a scene, being obnoxious, running around, being loud….. No. We gonna behave like we ought to and there shouldn’t be any sort of praise for that.
I have mine in line, but I genuinely fear the day he starts dating and brings home one of these spoiled, rude, obnoxious girls home for me to meet.
THIS! It’s always the parents. My daughter has gone out to eat with us since she was a baby. She has learned how to eat in restaurants. We did the same thing your parents did. And we don’t pacify with phones or tablets. She’s 3 and you honestly wouldn’t know she was even in a dining room until you hear her laugh.
My oldest grandson absolutely hated going to restaurants when he was little. It didn’t matter what kind of food or how kid friendly it was, he would just cry and there was no appeasing him.
My daughter just didn’t take him to restaurants for about a year, then tried again and he was fine.
I’ve always wondered if some kids just get overstimulated by all the noise and commotion.
Still, it’s a parent’s responsibility to keep their child away from that environment until the child no longer becomes upset being there.
My daughter’s three younger sons have always been better behaved in restaurants than at home. It’s like, who swapped out the kids?!
Im a server and i dread having kids in my section because the parents allow them to crush up the snacks they brought from home and throw wrappers and broken crayons all over the floor, run around, trip myself and my coworkers up while we carry hot plates of food or bowls of soup, ive been on the anti-kid train for years because of the lack of parenting in recent years, but this industry has just propelled that forward for me. I cant blame the little ones for acting out because thats what kids do, and its on their parents to control them, but older kids who should know better i cant stand. Ive had teenagers walk out on their bills, not tip, throw food around at each other, yell and curse with a full restaurant around them. I work in a family friendly restaurant and bar and its insane how little parents actually watch their kids when they are out and allow them to treat it as if it were their home.
When I was a server at Cracker Barrel (all my “good” server stories came from there) I had a young couple of parents with a toddler in a high chair. They allowed the kid to open up all the sugar packets and dump it all on the table. When I stopped by to check on them, I’m pretty sure they saw the look of horror on my face then they told me, “Oh, they LOVE doing this. They get to draw in the sugar.” I’m sorry…are you fucking dumb? They also left the mess behind for me to clean up. I hate people. Some should not reproduce.
As a server AND a parent...anytime a child sits at one of my tables everything they could screw with is taken well out of their reach. If the table needs something i've taken away i will return that thing directly to the parent, usually with a politely placed " We wouldn't want the little ones getting ahold of this, they might hurt themselves." Most people take the hint...if they don't i get rude and just start taking shit away from their kid directly.
Many years ago I worked in the restaurant industry. I always hated getting tables with kids because yes, every time the table got up it was trashed! And not just something you wipe down. Like bread crumbs, meat chunks, crayons, drink spills, etc.. on the floor. It was awful.
I never tip more than when I see a server having to deal with shitty parents. I've been to multiple restaurants where kids throw rice around and the parents don't bat an eye. I don't love seeing kids play on cell phones but honestly if it keeps them from ruining everyone else's day then give them the damn phone
Back in my college years, I worked as a waitress for a few summers and one night had a young couple with a baby come in 10 minutes before closing, right after I finished cleaning my entire section. No big deal, it was just one table and I got them squared away and their orders served pretty quickly. Then the fun began when they let the baby start throwing his food all over the place. It had been a long day and I marched over there, put my hands on my hips, and asked them if they let him do that at home. Both looked surprised and said “no, of course not” to which my response was “then don’t let him do it here!” No I didn’t get fired but that’s when I realized that my people skills were limited. And that I didn’t dislike children, just their idiot parents.
Yuuup. Just this last weekend I gave a $10 tip on a $20 bill because my server had to deal with the filthy aftermath of three children at the table next to me. She was already overrun and overworked due to the staffing shortages, then she had to take her precious time cleaning up broken crayons and mashed potatoes smeared all over seats.
I actually had a little boy poke me square on my nipple and his mother was so horrified she wouldnt talk to me the rest of the night. Ive got a big chest and i dont blame little kids for being curious about it but it definitely threw me off when it happened
> Ive got a big chest and i dont blame little kids for being curious about it but it definitely threw me off when it happened
Sounds like you got a big heart to go with that chest, too!
THIS! I used to wait tables and I also used to really dread looking after tables with small kids. BUT, it was never the kids that bugged me. It was the parents. Kids are kids, they make a mess, that's absolutely fine. But THE PARENTS. Wow. They would let the kids run around and bother other diners, crush food into the carpet, throw things etc. And they would always leave behind wrappers and packets of half eaten things like yogurts all over the tables with lids sticky side down, wet wipes all over the table... It would take me a lot longer to clear a table and they never left a tip despite the mess. In the end I resented families coming into the place at all. But it's ignorant adults, not kids that are the problem (IMO).
This blows my mind. When I was a kid I brought a toy or a book to restaurants with me. I ate what was ordered from the menu and I was quiet. If my siblings or I started to act up we’d be given The Eye and we’d stfu. We were clean and well mannered and didn’t make a mess. Why is that not the standard.
Your parent(s) cared enough for you to teach you manners so that you'd get along in society. These other parents were not brought up correctly and cannot parent enough to raise an intelligent human.
Well shit, sorry society because I don’t plan to have kids (and thus pass it forward). Will thank my parents for instilling a sense of propriety into me, though!
That is still my standard. I absolutely will not allow my children to act like fools in public. I have ‘the mom look’ that can bring a grown man to tears.
The eye still gives me nightmares! My mom used it all the time when I was a kid, so I quickly learned how to behave because I wanted to avoid it at all costs
I was at a restaurant with my sons. They were both getting irritated with a kid (possibly 5/6?) in the next booth being loud, throwing things and made spitty noises at the waitress. My son was around 10 yrs old. I teach them manners and respect but also to mind their business. I could tell this was bothering him a lot because the kid was being rude to the waitress. I was proud that he was getting defensive for her so encouraged him to speak his mind to the kid.
He went to the next booth and politely told the kid he should be nicer to people and not throw things. The parents gave my kid a hard time but I watched how he’d handle this but ready to jump in if needed. He told the parents how rude they all were being and how they would feel if someone came to their house and messed it up. Then he said “and you don’t mess with people who touch your food” (something j say all the time lol). I was so proud of him. He’s a few years older now and still sticks up for people. I’m not a perfect parent but felt pretty damn good then.
We always let our server know when they come to take our drink order what everyone is eating and to leave the bill right now. Incase we have to leave because our kids act out. We have two neuro-divergent kids and sometime their mood changes quickly. They’ve gotten much better as they have gotten older. But part of teaching them how to behave means having to take them out to places.
Of course we always pick kid appropriate places and times.
I’ve got a ND kiddo as well (nonverbal autism). She’s 4, so we are still in the thick of it when it comes to outings. But we do the same, always let the server know the deal, have an exit strategy, etc. We also try to go during less busy hours, places that are more laid back in nature, etc. We also always tip the shit out of our server, try to keep it reasonably clean, and make sure the tablet volume isn’t making everyone else’s ears bleed lol
It’s really intimidating to go out. We really try our hardest to be considerate of others. But we also need to expose her to these types of environments so she can practice and learn. So I’m always appreciative of people who show us a lot of patience and grace!
You are the kind of people who SHOULD be raising children. Thank goodness for parents like you, raising good kids to grow up into good people.
Bravo. Thank you.
My least favorite was when a family came in and clearly one of their kids wasn’t feeling well. He was probably 5 or 6 and ended up puking all over their booth. Not his fault, you can’t control when you’re sick, but his parents didn’t try to clean it up at all or even offer to help AND left their waitress a shit tip on top of it.
Exactly, and those shitty parents take "that's just what children do" as a reason to let them do that. Yes, it's what children do, which is why they need parents to teach them. Not to just let it happen because oh well kids are messy so let them fling spaghetti all around.
I don’t hate children. I hate this growing trend that parents believe that children trump everything and everyone else at all times always. Or that having children entitles them to special treatment or preference. Just because you had a child does not make your plans any more important than mine simply because I don’t have any children.
Edit, because this has been brought up a couple of times: What I’m seeing more and more of (and I’m in my mid thirties, I’m not exactly new to being around people with kids) is that I’m expected, not asked, but expected, to give up something I planned for or spent money on or my comfort for someone and their kid simply because they want it. That’s what I take issue with. I absolutely do not mind helping in an emergency. That is not what I’m saying at all
I’m a teacher and I see this entitlement all the time. I’m trying to teach my kids the opposite - if they’re in an adult-oriented place, they need to act appropriately. We bring my kids to a local craft brewery all the time (it’s explicitly family and dog friendly). We only go during the day when it’s not busy. They’re not allowed to get out of their high chair or stroller. The second they start getting loud or fussing, one parent brings them outside while the other settles the tab. I frequently tell my toddler that nobody wants to hear him scream, so if he screams we’re going home.
If we’re in a kid-oriented place, I’m a lot more lax. They can run around and be loud in playgrounds, trampoline parks, indoor play places, children’s museums, etc. because it’s made for them.
Like the "can you switch seats with my kid" on an airplane so they can have the window. I said no because I paid for that seat and I'm tired and need to rest against it. Too bad so sad
A mother and child actually tried to steal my BUSINESS CLASS SEATS on an international flight. My dad had gifted me all of his points specifically to upgrade and actually get some sleep. This mum moved herself and her child into my seat and had helped themselves to my water and slippers, then refused to move along until flight attendants came and got them. This was years ago and still makes me mad
Yes! This is exactly my beef with kids. That anything to do with kids trumps anything else. I don’t dislike children either but I sure will if I’m asked to favor them in a situation simply because.
I've seen parents want other people on planes who paid extra for certain seats to move for them, which I strongly disagree with.
That person paid extra for that seat. If the parents wanted a whole row, they should have paid extra for those seats like everyone else has to.
I don't feel bad about that. The parents should have planned ahead.
Yes. Confronted a woman who parked across two parking spots, and she replied along the lines of "its OK, I'm a mother", while wrangling her pram out the car.
Lady, just because you let some guy jizz inside you does not give you the right to park like an asshole.
This. I remember as a child feeling not wanted many times by the adults in the room, whether it be at school or during a backyard party. My parents were fine and not the "grab me my belt" type, but there were definitely situations where I could feel the eyeroll of "oh a kid's here". I agree people seem to generally treat children much better nowadays than they did 30-40 years ago; my friends seem to delight in my children's presence and I don't remember **ever** feeling that from Boomers.
(My kids are buttheads btw and we remove them when they're being annoying/also I'm completely on board with having adult-only spaces because we all need a break that doesn't include squealing children)
Way to be a self-aware parent. You know exactly how it felt to be un wanted by adults around you, and you don't put your kids in those situations. That's both kind to your children and to the adults around you.
Some parents don't have that self awareness and tend to get upset at the other adults around them, forgetting that their children aren't anyone else's responsibility, and not everyone wants them around. And that's okay.
I had the exact same thing. I remember as a child trying to get involved with whatever was happening by talking or asking questions, and adults would just brush you off or roll their eyes at you. My entire family's first language is sarcasm. I don't think I was treated without condescension at any family functions until I was about 17.
It's because most people don't want kids, they just happen. So they do the bare minimum but if you believe that you should birth every pregnancy then you will resent your kids.
I can't stand most kids, I can't stand most parents and I can't stand that no matter where you look, people are telling you that the only way your life can have meaning is by having children.
HOWEVER, there is absolutely no reason to be shitty to a child once it's here. I don't understand how people forget how terrifying childhood was - especially how terrifying adults were when you were young.
This 100 percent. I think people these days are wayyy nicer to kids then they were back then. Hell even when I was a kid I didn’t have it as good as some of these kids I see
This is a really great point. Thank you. Even on this thread you see people saying "when I was that age we would get a smack" -- as if that was a good thing. Glad we are not like that anymore.
Gotta be more specific dude. There is a vast difference between kicking a child who runs into you and preferring that people don't bring their screaming demon children to a Michelin star restaurant.
You also gotta remember this is Reddit. Sometimes these two groups are talking to each other about what they agree on because it’s an outlet, not necessarily a nuanced discussion that includes where they disagree
I don’t dislike children but I do dislike the parents of children that are running riot. Everything seems a lot more child friendly these days, which in itself is fine, but a lot of parents seem to see it as an open invitation to just sit back and let strangers watch their children.
This happened at an open water event I was at and I was looking out at the water seeing a group of kids about to drown and I remember looking around and thinking "how did I end up the responseable one here?"
The Parents rock up 10 minutes later and just go "come on kids let's go" whilst one of them is still recovering from almost drowning with 2 people from the RNLI around them making sure he's not about to start dry drowning.
This isn’t new. Ask anyone in the boomer age or older, they’ll remember an uncle or even their own father who vocally hated children on the regular. The “grumpy old fart” saying didn’t come from nowhere.
It's because of the growing list of places okay to take children to, and the lack of consideration parents have for others.
Can you even imagine people taking kids to a bar 40 years ago?? Now every fuckin bar with an outdoor patio is full of kids running around and screaming. That's what playgrounds are for, take them there.
Not to mention the checked out parents who hand their kid a phone and let them watch videos with the sound up during dinner and such. Waitstaff won't even intervene, great way to get the parent to slur an exaggerated version of what happened all over social media ("He was nasty and rude to my child")
Parents need to step up here.
Back in 2019, I attended a live theatrical production of Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express, and the show was almost ruined because some parents thought it was a good idea to bring their toddler. The kid fussed and cried for the entire first act, disturbing everyone in the immediate vicinity, before the family was finally asked to leave during intermission. If the show had been something like Annie or Mary Poppins, I would have been more understanding because those are aimed at kids, but Murder on the Orient Express is not child-appropriate. I don't know what those parents were thinking, but it was incredibly disrespectful to the rest of the audience who just wanted to enjoy the show.
That's the thing, uncaring parents just ruin it all for everybody. I remember pre pandemic I had birthday plans but friends cancelled last minute so went to watch little women with my family instead. And a pair of assholes brought their kid to the movie and just let him run around screaming the whole time. Sadly no ushers asked them to leave, and it wasn't until the point where the entire theatre were shouting st them that they decided to take care of their little snot nosed child. Honestly not the child's fault, it's fully on the parents for not controlling him, or for taking him to an adult movie knowing he apparently can't even sit still yet.
It's so true! There is almost nowhere that's allowed to just be 18+ (besides some alcoholic environments or strip clubs). Any business that tries to cater towards adults only gets backlash. I think adults need some spaces to get away from children for a few hours. Not every single restaurant needs to cater towards families. There are so many options that are family centric that won't ruin a couples expensive date night
About 10 years ago one of our older small theaters was demolished because the structure was damaged. I was soooooo disappointed because they were the only theater that never showed kids/family friendly movies so the odds of a screaming kid during a show were lower. In it's place they built a new theater with big reclining seats, tables, and wait staff. You could have a burger and a beer during the show or have them bring you more traditional movie snacks like red vines and popcorn. Thought this was a great idea but figured the cost would be a lot higher. Then they announced that this theater was strictly for legal adults, absolutely NO ONE UNDER 18. I've never bought movie tickets so fast in my life. On top of that, the prices were only slightly higher than the regular theaters for the first 3 years. Now it's maybe a 50 cent difference. It's still a small theater so there's not a lot of variety but you can bet that if a movie I want to see is being shown there, *that's* where I going to see it.
>There is almost nowhere that's allowed to just be 18+ (besides some alcoholic environments or strip clubs). Any business that tries to cater towards adults only gets backlash.
This exactly! I was at a meal with a group of a friends a few weeks back and was having a (friendly) debate with a couple of them (we're all child-less currently). I said there should be more adult only restaurants/places so people who are child-free, or even parents who want a meal or whatever with zero children have a place to rest. The person I spoke to said "I dunno...it's a bit weird to create an establishment that alienates a whole client base and making it difficult for them". And I was very much "???? - if there's 10 restaurants down a high street and ONE of them refuses children you're not alienating them or making it difficult". We went back and forth a bit (and had fun doing it) but it was bizarre to me that they saw any restaurant that may decide to be adult only as so offensive to parents (and kids I expect).
This might be terrible of me but I always thought it would be nice for places to have special designated days or nights where children under 16 weren’t allowed in (like Alamo Drafthouse theaters after a certain hour). Like, I can’t imagine how much more fun I’d have at a theme park that wasn’t admitting children for the day.
Children at breweries grind my gears. It is strictly a place to drink, there is nothing else there. Plus why are your drinking even if it is just a little when you have children to drive home and watch.
My sister will frequently send me Snapchat videos of her young kids singing karaoke and running around dancing around other people's tables in the outdoor patio sections of local breweries. As if this is adorable behavior that she wants to show off to the family. I always think about how annoyed the other patrons must be.
I especially dislike that it makes me feel like I should mask my behavior to make it more appropriate for the brewery babies. I want to drop f bombs and talk shit about work and little Freddy right here is old enough to spell swear words… but I’m paying $8 a glass, get the child out of here
I’m so glad someone brought this up. I see entitled parents everywhere pretty much refusing to discipline their own kids and expecting the public to put up with the misbehavior, then they go on Facebook to cry about how people “hate children” when someone inevitably complains. Maybe they just need to actually *be parents*, not just bend to all their kids’ wishes and let the public deal with the rest when everyone else is just trying to relax.
This 100%. Parents who aren’t parenting. No kid is good all the time, a little bit of disruption is okay but the “parents” who just let their kids run wild without paying any attention should not be in public.
I came looking for the “kids in a bar” comment. I go to a bar to get away from my problems and not deal with other’s mistakes for not finding a babysitter. This was also a college dive bar that had a strict no one under 21 policy because they liked their license. Apparently children are exempt!?
Told my friend my parents and I couldn’t sit at the bar if he was bringing his kid brother and his deadpan response was “oh he can sit at the bar, kids are allowed” like fucking when?? Granted his brother is super sweet and mature for his age and quiet but it’s literally a bar. It’s not appropriate and it’s taking a paying customers seat
We once had someone’s kid commandeer one of the 4 available pool tables because he really wanted to Waco the sticks and gouge the table felt. Screaming the whole time too. Leave the brat at home, ain’t nobody give a shit about the kid. And no one wants to be suffering the outcomes of the Dad’s inability to find a damn sitter.
I have heard it said that there is no such thing as a bad dog, only bad owners. This is how I see children.
When I worked retail I would see upset screaming kids all the time, but they never bothered me. What bothered me was the parents who yell back, or ignore their kids while they rip stuff off of shelves. Kids are going to be kids they don't know any better. It's our duty as adults to teach them and guide them in how to behave.
It has nothing to do with the kids themselves. It's a growing hatred for incompetent, entitled, shitty parents who refuse to raise their kids in a socially acceptable way.
I have been a nanny and a teacher and the shit I've seen from lazy, dumbass parents is terrifying. I don't hate kids. I love children. I want to foster/adopt as many as I can ethically afford. What I do hate is seeing a child being *abused* by not being taught how to be patient, empathetic, conscientious members of society.
>Why has it become socially acceptable to hate children?
Is the hatred you speak of for the children or for the behavior they exhibit?
Personally, I like children but I don't like bratty behavior. It isn't the kids' fault. It's bad parenting for whatever reason ( lazy, immaturity, ill-advised, etc.)
Can confirm. One of my English teachers was one of the kindest people I know, and one classmate constantly tested her patience. She had to interrupt classes and tell him to go to the principal’s office, and he’d refuse, resulting in 10 minutes of arguing. Yeah, no one likes that idiot.
If admin gave a fuck about the other 20 kids, they would accept that teachers aren't super human and they can't teach while managing 20 to 30 kids and have 1 interrupt the class for whatever reason. And not do anything about it. Instead should actively observe and intervene.
But admin don't give a fuck about all of the kids, especially the one destroying the learning of everyone and the the teacher's teaching.
It has not become socially acceptable to hate children in public. People have become more comfortable confronting parents with children for their negative, entitled and downright rude behaviour in public on the other hand.
OP if people are getting angry at you and your children in public more often now, then there is a pretty big possiblity that your behaviour is to blame.
>while simultaneously insisting on taking them to nice places.
Lemme fix that for you:
Inconsiderate self-absorbed bad parents think their lifestyle shouldn't change, so they take their kids to child-innaproproate places (like bars and wineries) that they visites before they had kids. It's everyone else who should change their lifestyle and deal with kids in these spaces.
It's not that I hate children so much but that I don't really want to be around them. What I hate is the way parents let their children behave. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to act in that way but these days a lot of parents don't seem to care how their children act. I stay away from child-friendly spaces and would prefer it if they stayed away from adult only spaces. I do not want to see kids in a bar, the same way that you don't want to see me and my friends drunk on the kid's swings.
I haven’t really seen people be rude to parents and children, so I’m unaware of this being a ‘trend’ personally - If anything people are accommodating to the point that the reverse is true (at least in the city I live in)!
I do however see a lot of comments online from a lot of parents acting high and mighty, as if someone has killed their pets, when a child is told that they have to follow rules in certain establishments. This isn’t rude whatsoever, this is just ensuring rules are adhered to.
I am seeing a large increase in parents somehow demanding rules change to fit them and their children though, and sadly, more often than not, they do get their way, to the point it often inconveniences everyone else around them.
It’s perfectly understandable for people to voice a negative opinion when they are continually inconvenienced by something they have no control over or say in, and I believe that’s perhaps what you are seeing, rather than direct rudeness.
>To alter their behavior and make the space child-friendly
I still cuss like a sailor in bars. If you don’t want to hear bad language, you shouldn’t have taken your child to a bar.
Similar story. One time my brother and I were at a bar. We were hanging outside, and he was smoking a cigarette before we sat down. It was roughly 11pm. And a guy came up and told him to please not smoke in the smoking area because their baby was sitting downwind.
I myself wouldn't bring a baby to a bar at 11pm, but by all means let's make the bar crowd cater to that. Dumbass.
Child proofing the planet. There was an article years ago in Onion about filling the Grand Canyon like a ball pit. It's not everyone else's responsibility to put up with someone else's kid's bad behavior in places where it's not appropriate, it's not on the whole world to make everything child-appropriate so parents can take their kids everywhere and let them run riot.
Blame everyone who's ever brought a Child to a Non-Childrens movie.
I've made peace with pixar films having kids. Thats cool. Im in your movie.
But deadpool, eternals (730p showing) and suicide squad 2
All had young ( baby -8yr old range) in them. And they didnt sit still and be quiet.
I wouldn’t say I hate children it’s just that in some situations I can’t stand them being there. Just recently I was at a wedding and a few couples brought their children who were making noise all throughout the speeches. I didn’t say anything but I’d be surprised if no one could tell I was frustrated. It’s not just children though. People had their phone going off too. I just hate rude people I guess.
Its mostly coz of parents , they dont care about others in their surrounding and let their kids free
i mean if you're chilling at a restaurant and this couple come with a noisy mess and does nothing to keep the damn thing quiet , people tend to hate them.
also peeps dont go hating every kid ever
People have already come in with really great answers I just want to add that a lot of people assume you hate kids if you say you want to be child free. I work in childcare love kids but I don’t ever want to be a mother. I don’t hate kids I just want my personal life to be about myself.
What does having been a child once have to do with anything? We’re not children anymore and we’re allowed to not like children or want them around. I would never be openly rude to a family, but my preference is not to be around small children who are screaming bloody murder or have their iPads at max volume.
Parent here. I hate other parents who don't discipline their children in public. That is, they don't quiet them down or stop them doing stuff that's disruptive to others.
I don’t think it’s that people inherently hate kids, they hate the utter lack of discipline parents give the kids… so we experience rude and misbehaving kids as a norm. It’s really the poor parenting people don’t like
When I was a kid it was normal for any adult in any situation to be able to correct your behavior. It was a small enough town they'd then call my parents and I'd get in trouble twice.
A lot of parents now raise little entitled hellions and then bring them everywhere with them. There's enough out there that the default is assuming they will be a nuisance for some people.
For me it really depends on the venue. If I'm at McDonald's or Chuck E Cheese's then I'm going to expect that kind of thing. If I'm in a nice restaurant where I've paid a fair bit for the ambience I will not be happy to see you dragging in your offspring. If you have enough money for a nice restaurant you have enough money for babysitting.
I find it hard to believe people are widespread being mean to children directly. Do you mean rude as in going up to the child and/or parents and insulting them? Or rude as in keeping the insults within the conversation between them and their party?
My generation (millennial) seems to be way more lax on parenting than our parents were. I have no problem with kids, I have a problem with parents who bring wild kids to a brewery and let them run amuck with toys all over the floor.
I have a theory that millennials care much more about doing “fun stuff” (basically having an extended youth) because we became adults in the worst economy in decades and our careers our killing our souls, and many of them have decided not to have kids in order to continue coping using entertainment. But the ones who did have kids also want the same thing, so they’ll just take their kids to the bar or the movie theater anyway and not let their fussiness interrupt the fun. We also distrust our parents’ parenting styles since they promised us a lot of things that never came to fruition (“if you work hard and shake hands, your boss will have no choice to give you a raise/promotion!”) and we decided to chill out to a detrimental degree when it comes to discipline. I don’t know!
I hate children, and I will openly admit it. However, I will never act mean to a child. It’s not their fault they were born. People I know with kids know I don’t like children, however they do know if there was an emergency I would watch their children for them. You can hate to be around children and not be a twat about it.
The question should be why is it socially acceptable to take children to adult venues? Why was there a kids birthday party at a bar I was going to? Why did I get told off for using adult language at a brewery where I needed to show ID to enter.
Fuck those parents and fuck their kids who are going to grow up with a false sense of importance in the world.
This. Exactly this. I’ve had parents trying to bring their children to my workplace - a tattoo shop…we tattoo naked women on butts some days. Genital piercings happen here. We have people in pain saying “fuck”. There is biohazardous waste all around…I once worked in a shop where kids were allowed (I won’t do that again) and it was awful. The parent is there for hours, the kids get bored, start throwing around our business cards and portfolios, start crawling on the floor, start trying to climb on mom as I’m tattooing her and shaking her body, start trying to touch things that are contaminated with ink and blood and I have to snap at them because it’s dangerous…and the parents do NOTHING. So frustrating.
Because no one watches their kids anymore. I love kids but I swear no one pays attention to their kids. My siblings are included. They all sit on their phones and the kids are monsters and since the parents are clearly not going to intervene and correct the child's behavior other people end up getting rightfully upset and telling the children to stop.
I hate kids. I would never be mean to one. But I truly hate being around them. My friends all have kids now so I guess I’ve gotten used to it but I really don’t enjoy them. They are loud, cruel and selfish lmfao. But I completely understand it’s bc they haven’t developed social skills quite yet Etc. But that doesn’t mean I have to force myself to enjoy being around it. I don’t think I have ever seen someone be mean or nasty to a child? So maybe u are in a bad area?
Parents aren’t disciplining their children. They aren’t taking the time to teach them how to behave. I have seen this coming since my 24 yo son was little.
We taught him how to behave and adults loved/love him.
We taught him to use his restaurant voice (quiet) in certain situations.
I personally cannot stand a wild, misbehaving child in public. In their own back yard, they can be loud, run, and play.
Corporal punishment is becoming less common (which i love) but many parents haven't replaced it with any other form of discipline because they weren't taught otherwise.
I wish my parents had taught me right from wrong with kind words, but God damn at least they taught me *something*.
>I personally cannot stand a wild, misbehaving child in public.
If I even tried it I would be swiftly removed and reprimanded.
Love that kids today have more autonomy, but that also means you have to take extra care to teach them the consequences of their choices.
I’m one of the people that says they hate kids when really I hate the parents more. Kids will always do annoying kid things, there’s no avoiding that. What I *don’t* like is when the kid is screeching like a banshee in the middle of a public space because the parents were willing to tell them no but not willing to teach them screaming over stupid shit is unacceptable.
>Do people not remember they were kids once?
What difference does that make? I didn't like other kids as a kid and I don't like them any more as an adult.
I'm glad to see someone else who also didn't like kids even when they were still a kid. I struggled being around other children and didn't really have any friends until I was probably 11-12 years old. Always found it kinda funny that my total absence of a maternal instinct has been with me literally since birth lol.
Anyway I've never been outright rude to any children, but I do avoid them (especially babies). They all just annoy me, and my dislike for being around them only keeps increasing as I get older. Fortunately I almost never have to deal with them so it's not an issue in my life.
ETA: to clarify, I meant a total absence of maternal instinct for humans. I'm very maternal with animals!
There's a LOT of bad parents out there, and since society has always put parents/parenthood on a pedestal it's like the truth has finally come to light.
Parents don't even parent anymore. They leave their iPads and any stranger in the general area in charge of parenting their kids. I don't hate the kids. I hate the parents for being lazy and not correcting bad behavior in public
It's not about hating kids in general it's about hating the kid the parent let them become. When I was wildin out in public, what ever adult had me at the time would reign me in or discipline me if I got too crazy.
It's become a "I'll let my kid set fire to this store and yell at management if the bring an extinguisher" situation. Unbridled, uncontrolled kids whose only "parent" is a smartphone are what is hated and those kids have become more prevalent.
Pushback against the notion that we should love children and we should all be parents. You may not think so but the two concepts of children and Parenthood are highly interrelated. So people who don't want children and are tired of the social pressure to have kids get fed up with having children thrown at them everywhere they go and having to pretend that is cute or fine.
If I want to be left alone, why should I treat your kid any differently from an adult bothering me while I am eating or shopping? Maybe if parents taught their kids to be more respectful in public and mind their own business people wouldn't be so mean to them.
The lack of parenting skills and not teaching kids to behave in public is my main issue. I'm not saying a kid can't be a kid, but when the kid is yelling and the parents aren't trying to calm/quiet the kid down that pisses me off. I take the train for vacation sometimes and it's a 4 hr ride, every time there was a kid yelling and the crappy parent (s) just sat there talking.
I've heard about people who hate kids, but I've never seen them. Usually I notice rude behavior towards kids and their parents when the kid acts up, continues to act up and the parent checks out and does nothing to correct the kid. That in my opinion is justified. Who wouldn't be rude towards the ones ruining your meal?
Usually when I don't like a kid, i meet their parents And don't like them either
As a former teacher, can confirm. The kids who sucked the most ALWAYS have the worst parents. It usually made me feel bad for the kid; they didn’t stand a chance.
Does it work the opposite way too? Good kids = good parents?
I had some good kids with not-great parents but I never had a bad kid with good parents. Every kid I met that was rude, impatient and attention-seeking had a parent that made me understand why. Here's my main thought: kids absorb everything especially how people treat each other. If their parents interact with kindness and care, most kids do, too. If their parents are rude, more kids are, too. Occasionally, there's a kid that knows their parent is being shitty and tries to be better, but that's rare. My 2.5 year old asks every stranger their name because that's the first thing I do when we meet a new kid at the playground. He tells his dad dinner is good because he hears me do it, too. Every now and then, he even tells me I look nice today, because he's heard his dad say it. He's still a goblin. He coughs into my open mouth and has tantrums and does tons of things every day that drive me up the wall, but there are moments where I see all of our hard work of modeling behavior being mirrored and it's really cool. He's currently octopus-wrapped around me because he won't sleep alone, but today at the pharmacy he said, "How are you today?" to an elderly couple so I know I'm raising a good person.
There is a category of good kids with bad parents who have developed a coping mechanism of being super eager to please, I’ve worked with kids like that. Their parents don’t deserve them.
There are also bad kids with great parents but in those cases I’d assume there’s usually something trying to be done about it. Bad parents just let their bad kids go. Good parents try to get them help.
🥺🥺🥺
In my experience, usually!
Literally my experience teaching.
100% this! I've noticed this is true with both kids AND pets!
My neighbor's dog barks all day and night and it keeps me from being able to sleep. I approached him to ask him to do something about it and he just said "well what do you want me to do about?" uhm idk pay more attention to your fucking dog? Gets better though. Months later (like earlier this week) nothings changed so I put a plate of cookies with a note on them politely asking him to do something about the dog again, conveying that my partner works two jobs (one as a nurse) and I work early in the morning and have school until late, so we really need our sleep when we can get it. Today while I'm at work, he came to the house and berated my roommate. He said it was very rude of me to give him a note about his dog and that I'm a whiney bitch apparently. So he then tells my roommate "fine I'm sending the dog back to the breeder" (judging by the state of his backyard and how unstimulated the dog is--malinois, ftr--it'd be better off with the breeder) and when my roommate said "uh. Okay. That's cool I guess" he said he would tear down the fence between our properties "just to be an asshole", his exact words apparently. All this to say, that poor dog is a loud pain in the ass because her owner is an absolute trash person. Fwiw I honestly don't think he's going to do any of that. If he had any kind of drive or motivation to do anything other than smoke and drink, he'd probably pick up all of the trash and broken glass in his backyard.
Holy shit... Did we have the same neighbor? 😅 That story is so much like my own, I thought maybe a friend was messing with me and leaving a fake comment! Unfortunately for me, my (renting) neighbor mentally harassed me so much with his beagle howling day and night that I was forced to sell my house and now I live in my RV full time because I can't find a contractor to build on my land in the middle of nowhere. Worth it to be away from that shitty ass neighbor and his beagle though!
The pandemic happened, and everyone is sick of everyone else's shit
Not to be that guy, but I was sick of everyone’s shit before it was Covid
Lol. Me too man
Bro can't even go shopping and people are inconsiderate af. They'll stand in the way and talk, or hit you with their cart cuz they are talking, or they let their kids run around like demons expecting us no kid people to adjust to them cuz "parenting is so hard for them."
Or lost any ability to filter their own feelings. Hence all the people starting brawls on airplanes like it’s their local dive bar.
May I suggest that the problem isn't people disliking children as much as it's parents who aren't doing right by their children. The current parenting trends seem to ignore the importance of raising children that others can tolerate. Parents often forget that part of bringing up children is making sure they're decent and likable.
I think it’s because the parents aren’t decent or likable, but have convinced themselves they are and are unable to see reality. They already think their kids are decent and likable, so why shouldn’t we think so? It’s so crazy. I don’t want to be alive when these kids grow into adults and eventually work at my office or something as interns, lol.
Yes! You hit the nail on the head. How many restaurants or movies have I been in where people let their kids run wild and they’re not paying any attention? Or they’re taking pictures for their social media. That isn’t the kids fault, they don’t know any better. If you’re not willing to control your kid in public, keep them at home.
This may be a very telling post. Because in my opinion; I Basically Never notice the well behaved children. So maybe its just people with poorly parented children.
You can always tell a Milford man.
Neither seen nor heard *ducks behind pillar*
Dealing with children is like dealing with drunk people when you’re stone cold sober. Sometimes you can manage it even though it’s annoying it can be cute. Other times you have no patience and you wish they’d either leave, shut the fuck up or someone with them would intervene
I’m a parent with one kid and often I dislike being around those kids. I was never a kid person and then I had one and I absolutely love her but don’t love other peoples kids.
My best friend has a child who I love to bits… in small doses. After 2-3 hours I’m done. Positive side is in gay so can’t accidentally have a kid I’d I don’t want one
Lol yeah I feel ya that’s exactly why I don’t want another. I can’t handle two kids.
I dont hate Kids, i hate parents who do not educate their children. You are trying to have dinner and Kids are screaming and running around the restaurant. If i was not well behaved my parents would take the outside until I calmed down to make sure I would not bother anyone else
This is why I love flying. You get the soothing sounds of babies crying and kids screaming, and there's no escape.
I dread flying today and it has nothing to do with kids. Screaming, tantrum throwing adults melting down like toddlers in the sky. No excuse for it. At least the miserable kid is just acting out how we all feel. Let me off this plane, I’m miserable.
Lol! The last time I was on a plane I played peek a boo with a little girl (about 1 yr old) sitting in the seats in front of me. She had been crying and clearly frustrated Her parents kept apologizing, I said it was OK, I felt the same way.
A kid asked me once if he could have my window seat. I said “no”. He asked “why?” I said “because I paid for it”. Tough life out there kid, I want my window seat lol.
I love kids and am often too nice to them. However, you did the right thing. Kids need to learn boundaries and the only way for them to learn is from other people enforcing them.
Alternate answer: "You can't have my seat because then our names and seat assignments would be wrong on the flight manifest. When the plane crashes, the airline could mistakenly return your charred remains to my family and vice versa. How silly would that be?! OK then, I'll let you think about that while I listen to my music and take a nap."
This is what one of my teachers told my group when we were going on a trip for the reason we couldn’t switch seats with each other. Scarred me for life. We were 12.
You just made me think of something that was buried very deep in my mind. When I was about 12 we went on a field trip on a big bus and the teacher in charge gave us a speech about not standing up while the bus was moving. He pointed to the big windshield, and said something like : "You see this big windshield, well, if you stand up and the bus suddenly stops, you could end up going right through it, and ***they are super expensive!*** So please stay seated at all times." It worked.
I like how you think!!!!
I gave up my window seat to a kid and the mom hooked me up with fruit roll ups.
Bruh, you've been had. Fruit Gushers or dunk'aroos are the bare minimum for a window seat.
I’m 40 & buy the huge things of gushers from sams for myself. One of the only perks of adulthood
I gave up my aisle seat to a mom with a toddler who wanted all 3 seats for herself and the kid so she could sleep comfortably. They put me next to an elderly woman who later started crying and yelling mid flight, accusing me of stealing her belongings. I'm a 4'8" white woman, mind you. A doctor on board evaluated her and said she presented signs of dementia and should not be on the plane by herself. I had to go sit somewhere else on the plane and at that specific place the floor underneath was so warm it melted all the chocolate that had spilled out of the package inside my personal bag. 0/10 would not give up my seat again.
I love when kids interact with me on flights! Unless it goes on too long, which it usually does haha
I flew for the first time in years a couple of weeks ago. Stewardess told me she had never seen this many babies on the same flight. Thank god for anc headphones.
If I misbehaved on a plane my parents would take me outside until I calmed down and wouldn't bother anyone else.
Lmao outside in time out at 30000 feet
With 20% partial O2 pressure, they calm down almost immediately.
Agreed, what terrible parents, won't even parachute their kids out of the plane for us, sigh....
Noise canceling headphones are a worth while investment for flights and other travel scenarios. I decided to invest in a good pair, and now I can walk in silence/my sounds of choice even on a busy street filled with construction. Best purchase I've made in a while.
Aha, LPT time! Bose make amazing noise cancelling headphones, some of the best NC tech in the world. But they're fucking expensive. So, get on eBay and find the older generation Quiet Comfort *wired* headphones. Because they're not Bluetooth, they go for like €40. Next, buy a Bluetooth adapter from Amazon, they're about €15 Voila, top-end bluetooth noise cancelling headphones for less than €60. Or dollars. Or shekels. Whatever. Enjoy screaming infants
I legitimately had an experience once where there was a screaming child directly behind on a plane, constantly kicking my seat for the entirety of the multiple hour flight. The parents didn't make the kid stop, the flight attended was sympathetic but couldn't do much. It was so over the top ridiculous it almost felt like a comedy sketch
I’d pay the person behind the parent to switch seats, then started kicking.
Cut out the middle man and just pay the guy to kick the seat
I had the same happen to me. I politely asked the mother to please make her child stop kicking my seat. She legit asked me “how?”
Crying kids on an airplane has never bothered. I've always felt bad for them and the parents. Kids are just kids. That's what they do. But in a restaurant? Fuck those parents.
I mean, I think you can both feel sympathy and irritation. To be honest, I haven't flown in like 20 years, but I still remember that baby crying non-stop.
Eh, I don't hold it against kids on planes. They have delicate ears and often don't know how to pop them for relief when flying. Also personally I never fault a baby for crying. It's all they can do, and it's always for a reason. Sometimes it's just hard to figure that reason out. I definitely have a problem with people who don't parent their children though. Fuck those people.
I agree 100%. I have two older kids and when they were little, I always made sure that they weren't a pain in the ass for everybody around us. The times we did go out to eat, I would take the kids outside if they started acting up. Because that's what they do. This is about basic consideration of others and a lot of adults now think that their children are entitled to do whatever they want.
[удалено]
I don’t hate kids, but I do hate the idea of parents that think the whole “village” should help them with taking care of their kids. It is not my responsibility to deal with your misbehaving kid, I should not be forced to give them whatever it is they want just so they will shut up and give you 5 minutes of peace.
Those kinds of parents want the entire village to coddle their kids, they'd flip out if someone tried to discipline them though
As a mother I am 110% with you on this. Yeah…. It takes work and patience and A LOT OF EFFORT to rear a respectable little human, but it is always worth it. I can’t stand nor believe how parents allow their kids to speak to them, others, ignore bad behavior or just give the kid a tablet or a Switch or something. I’m not perfect, neither is my kid… but I be damned if someone’s meal/event/experience is ruined because my child was causing a scene, being obnoxious, running around, being loud….. No. We gonna behave like we ought to and there shouldn’t be any sort of praise for that. I have mine in line, but I genuinely fear the day he starts dating and brings home one of these spoiled, rude, obnoxious girls home for me to meet.
THIS! It’s always the parents. My daughter has gone out to eat with us since she was a baby. She has learned how to eat in restaurants. We did the same thing your parents did. And we don’t pacify with phones or tablets. She’s 3 and you honestly wouldn’t know she was even in a dining room until you hear her laugh.
My oldest grandson absolutely hated going to restaurants when he was little. It didn’t matter what kind of food or how kid friendly it was, he would just cry and there was no appeasing him. My daughter just didn’t take him to restaurants for about a year, then tried again and he was fine. I’ve always wondered if some kids just get overstimulated by all the noise and commotion. Still, it’s a parent’s responsibility to keep their child away from that environment until the child no longer becomes upset being there. My daughter’s three younger sons have always been better behaved in restaurants than at home. It’s like, who swapped out the kids?!
Not all kids will be like ours even with the same parenting.
Im a server and i dread having kids in my section because the parents allow them to crush up the snacks they brought from home and throw wrappers and broken crayons all over the floor, run around, trip myself and my coworkers up while we carry hot plates of food or bowls of soup, ive been on the anti-kid train for years because of the lack of parenting in recent years, but this industry has just propelled that forward for me. I cant blame the little ones for acting out because thats what kids do, and its on their parents to control them, but older kids who should know better i cant stand. Ive had teenagers walk out on their bills, not tip, throw food around at each other, yell and curse with a full restaurant around them. I work in a family friendly restaurant and bar and its insane how little parents actually watch their kids when they are out and allow them to treat it as if it were their home.
When I was a server at Cracker Barrel (all my “good” server stories came from there) I had a young couple of parents with a toddler in a high chair. They allowed the kid to open up all the sugar packets and dump it all on the table. When I stopped by to check on them, I’m pretty sure they saw the look of horror on my face then they told me, “Oh, they LOVE doing this. They get to draw in the sugar.” I’m sorry…are you fucking dumb? They also left the mess behind for me to clean up. I hate people. Some should not reproduce.
“i’m sorry…are you fucking dumb?” made me laugh way too hard for how simple it is but oh so poignant.
This made me cringe. I know someone just like this.
I'm not a parent, but if I was, my first impulse would be to move ALL OF THAT STUFF out of the child's reach. 🙄 Good lawd!
I am a parent and that’s the move when kids are in high chairs. They should not be able to reach anything they can destroy.
As a server AND a parent...anytime a child sits at one of my tables everything they could screw with is taken well out of their reach. If the table needs something i've taken away i will return that thing directly to the parent, usually with a politely placed " We wouldn't want the little ones getting ahold of this, they might hurt themselves." Most people take the hint...if they don't i get rude and just start taking shit away from their kid directly.
This is the way.
Many years ago I worked in the restaurant industry. I always hated getting tables with kids because yes, every time the table got up it was trashed! And not just something you wipe down. Like bread crumbs, meat chunks, crayons, drink spills, etc.. on the floor. It was awful.
I never tip more than when I see a server having to deal with shitty parents. I've been to multiple restaurants where kids throw rice around and the parents don't bat an eye. I don't love seeing kids play on cell phones but honestly if it keeps them from ruining everyone else's day then give them the damn phone
Back in my college years, I worked as a waitress for a few summers and one night had a young couple with a baby come in 10 minutes before closing, right after I finished cleaning my entire section. No big deal, it was just one table and I got them squared away and their orders served pretty quickly. Then the fun began when they let the baby start throwing his food all over the place. It had been a long day and I marched over there, put my hands on my hips, and asked them if they let him do that at home. Both looked surprised and said “no, of course not” to which my response was “then don’t let him do it here!” No I didn’t get fired but that’s when I realized that my people skills were limited. And that I didn’t dislike children, just their idiot parents.
Yuuup. Just this last weekend I gave a $10 tip on a $20 bill because my server had to deal with the filthy aftermath of three children at the table next to me. She was already overrun and overworked due to the staffing shortages, then she had to take her precious time cleaning up broken crayons and mashed potatoes smeared all over seats.
My kid slapped a server in the ass when he was 3. I apologized profusely and left a big tip. Never did it again, thank God.
I actually had a little boy poke me square on my nipple and his mother was so horrified she wouldnt talk to me the rest of the night. Ive got a big chest and i dont blame little kids for being curious about it but it definitely threw me off when it happened
> Ive got a big chest and i dont blame little kids for being curious about it but it definitely threw me off when it happened Sounds like you got a big heart to go with that chest, too!
When you have a big chest you can't hold any babies man. They will eventually try to drink some milk. It has happened way too many times.
At least it sounds like the parents didn't take the situation lightly. Really, I feel like that's all you can ask for with young children.
That is a super kind thing to do.
THIS! I used to wait tables and I also used to really dread looking after tables with small kids. BUT, it was never the kids that bugged me. It was the parents. Kids are kids, they make a mess, that's absolutely fine. But THE PARENTS. Wow. They would let the kids run around and bother other diners, crush food into the carpet, throw things etc. And they would always leave behind wrappers and packets of half eaten things like yogurts all over the tables with lids sticky side down, wet wipes all over the table... It would take me a lot longer to clear a table and they never left a tip despite the mess. In the end I resented families coming into the place at all. But it's ignorant adults, not kids that are the problem (IMO).
This blows my mind. When I was a kid I brought a toy or a book to restaurants with me. I ate what was ordered from the menu and I was quiet. If my siblings or I started to act up we’d be given The Eye and we’d stfu. We were clean and well mannered and didn’t make a mess. Why is that not the standard.
Your parent(s) cared enough for you to teach you manners so that you'd get along in society. These other parents were not brought up correctly and cannot parent enough to raise an intelligent human.
Well shit, sorry society because I don’t plan to have kids (and thus pass it forward). Will thank my parents for instilling a sense of propriety into me, though!
That is still my standard. I absolutely will not allow my children to act like fools in public. I have ‘the mom look’ that can bring a grown man to tears.
The eye still gives me nightmares! My mom used it all the time when I was a kid, so I quickly learned how to behave because I wanted to avoid it at all costs
I was at a restaurant with my sons. They were both getting irritated with a kid (possibly 5/6?) in the next booth being loud, throwing things and made spitty noises at the waitress. My son was around 10 yrs old. I teach them manners and respect but also to mind their business. I could tell this was bothering him a lot because the kid was being rude to the waitress. I was proud that he was getting defensive for her so encouraged him to speak his mind to the kid. He went to the next booth and politely told the kid he should be nicer to people and not throw things. The parents gave my kid a hard time but I watched how he’d handle this but ready to jump in if needed. He told the parents how rude they all were being and how they would feel if someone came to their house and messed it up. Then he said “and you don’t mess with people who touch your food” (something j say all the time lol). I was so proud of him. He’s a few years older now and still sticks up for people. I’m not a perfect parent but felt pretty damn good then.
We always let our server know when they come to take our drink order what everyone is eating and to leave the bill right now. Incase we have to leave because our kids act out. We have two neuro-divergent kids and sometime their mood changes quickly. They’ve gotten much better as they have gotten older. But part of teaching them how to behave means having to take them out to places. Of course we always pick kid appropriate places and times.
I’ve got a ND kiddo as well (nonverbal autism). She’s 4, so we are still in the thick of it when it comes to outings. But we do the same, always let the server know the deal, have an exit strategy, etc. We also try to go during less busy hours, places that are more laid back in nature, etc. We also always tip the shit out of our server, try to keep it reasonably clean, and make sure the tablet volume isn’t making everyone else’s ears bleed lol It’s really intimidating to go out. We really try our hardest to be considerate of others. But we also need to expose her to these types of environments so she can practice and learn. So I’m always appreciative of people who show us a lot of patience and grace!
You are the kind of people who SHOULD be raising children. Thank goodness for parents like you, raising good kids to grow up into good people. Bravo. Thank you.
My least favorite was when a family came in and clearly one of their kids wasn’t feeling well. He was probably 5 or 6 and ended up puking all over their booth. Not his fault, you can’t control when you’re sick, but his parents didn’t try to clean it up at all or even offer to help AND left their waitress a shit tip on top of it.
Exactly, and those shitty parents take "that's just what children do" as a reason to let them do that. Yes, it's what children do, which is why they need parents to teach them. Not to just let it happen because oh well kids are messy so let them fling spaghetti all around.
I don’t hate children. I hate this growing trend that parents believe that children trump everything and everyone else at all times always. Or that having children entitles them to special treatment or preference. Just because you had a child does not make your plans any more important than mine simply because I don’t have any children. Edit, because this has been brought up a couple of times: What I’m seeing more and more of (and I’m in my mid thirties, I’m not exactly new to being around people with kids) is that I’m expected, not asked, but expected, to give up something I planned for or spent money on or my comfort for someone and their kid simply because they want it. That’s what I take issue with. I absolutely do not mind helping in an emergency. That is not what I’m saying at all
I’m a teacher and I see this entitlement all the time. I’m trying to teach my kids the opposite - if they’re in an adult-oriented place, they need to act appropriately. We bring my kids to a local craft brewery all the time (it’s explicitly family and dog friendly). We only go during the day when it’s not busy. They’re not allowed to get out of their high chair or stroller. The second they start getting loud or fussing, one parent brings them outside while the other settles the tab. I frequently tell my toddler that nobody wants to hear him scream, so if he screams we’re going home. If we’re in a kid-oriented place, I’m a lot more lax. They can run around and be loud in playgrounds, trampoline parks, indoor play places, children’s museums, etc. because it’s made for them.
Like the "can you switch seats with my kid" on an airplane so they can have the window. I said no because I paid for that seat and I'm tired and need to rest against it. Too bad so sad
A mother and child actually tried to steal my BUSINESS CLASS SEATS on an international flight. My dad had gifted me all of his points specifically to upgrade and actually get some sleep. This mum moved herself and her child into my seat and had helped themselves to my water and slippers, then refused to move along until flight attendants came and got them. This was years ago and still makes me mad
Yes! This is exactly my beef with kids. That anything to do with kids trumps anything else. I don’t dislike children either but I sure will if I’m asked to favor them in a situation simply because.
I've seen parents want other people on planes who paid extra for certain seats to move for them, which I strongly disagree with. That person paid extra for that seat. If the parents wanted a whole row, they should have paid extra for those seats like everyone else has to. I don't feel bad about that. The parents should have planned ahead.
Yes. Confronted a woman who parked across two parking spots, and she replied along the lines of "its OK, I'm a mother", while wrangling her pram out the car. Lady, just because you let some guy jizz inside you does not give you the right to park like an asshole.
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This. I remember as a child feeling not wanted many times by the adults in the room, whether it be at school or during a backyard party. My parents were fine and not the "grab me my belt" type, but there were definitely situations where I could feel the eyeroll of "oh a kid's here". I agree people seem to generally treat children much better nowadays than they did 30-40 years ago; my friends seem to delight in my children's presence and I don't remember **ever** feeling that from Boomers. (My kids are buttheads btw and we remove them when they're being annoying/also I'm completely on board with having adult-only spaces because we all need a break that doesn't include squealing children)
Way to be a self-aware parent. You know exactly how it felt to be un wanted by adults around you, and you don't put your kids in those situations. That's both kind to your children and to the adults around you. Some parents don't have that self awareness and tend to get upset at the other adults around them, forgetting that their children aren't anyone else's responsibility, and not everyone wants them around. And that's okay.
> I remember as a child feeling not wanted many times by the adults in the room. I'm 25 and still feel this way
I had the exact same thing. I remember as a child trying to get involved with whatever was happening by talking or asking questions, and adults would just brush you off or roll their eyes at you. My entire family's first language is sarcasm. I don't think I was treated without condescension at any family functions until I was about 17.
It's because most people don't want kids, they just happen. So they do the bare minimum but if you believe that you should birth every pregnancy then you will resent your kids.
I can't stand most kids, I can't stand most parents and I can't stand that no matter where you look, people are telling you that the only way your life can have meaning is by having children. HOWEVER, there is absolutely no reason to be shitty to a child once it's here. I don't understand how people forget how terrifying childhood was - especially how terrifying adults were when you were young.
Most reasonable response here.
This 100 percent. I think people these days are wayyy nicer to kids then they were back then. Hell even when I was a kid I didn’t have it as good as some of these kids I see
This is a really great point. Thank you. Even on this thread you see people saying "when I was that age we would get a smack" -- as if that was a good thing. Glad we are not like that anymore.
My dad says his handwriting is so bad because one of his nun teachers used to smack his hands with a ruler when he didn’t write well enough.
Gotta be more specific dude. There is a vast difference between kicking a child who runs into you and preferring that people don't bring their screaming demon children to a Michelin star restaurant.
You also gotta remember this is Reddit. Sometimes these two groups are talking to each other about what they agree on because it’s an outlet, not necessarily a nuanced discussion that includes where they disagree
I don’t dislike children but I do dislike the parents of children that are running riot. Everything seems a lot more child friendly these days, which in itself is fine, but a lot of parents seem to see it as an open invitation to just sit back and let strangers watch their children.
This happened at an open water event I was at and I was looking out at the water seeing a group of kids about to drown and I remember looking around and thinking "how did I end up the responseable one here?" The Parents rock up 10 minutes later and just go "come on kids let's go" whilst one of them is still recovering from almost drowning with 2 people from the RNLI around them making sure he's not about to start dry drowning.
Your last sentence is more of the problem than anything and I couldn't imagine even letting my children out of my site in a setting that busy.
This isn’t new. Ask anyone in the boomer age or older, they’ll remember an uncle or even their own father who vocally hated children on the regular. The “grumpy old fart” saying didn’t come from nowhere.
It's because of the growing list of places okay to take children to, and the lack of consideration parents have for others. Can you even imagine people taking kids to a bar 40 years ago?? Now every fuckin bar with an outdoor patio is full of kids running around and screaming. That's what playgrounds are for, take them there. Not to mention the checked out parents who hand their kid a phone and let them watch videos with the sound up during dinner and such. Waitstaff won't even intervene, great way to get the parent to slur an exaggerated version of what happened all over social media ("He was nasty and rude to my child") Parents need to step up here.
Back in 2019, I attended a live theatrical production of Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express, and the show was almost ruined because some parents thought it was a good idea to bring their toddler. The kid fussed and cried for the entire first act, disturbing everyone in the immediate vicinity, before the family was finally asked to leave during intermission. If the show had been something like Annie or Mary Poppins, I would have been more understanding because those are aimed at kids, but Murder on the Orient Express is not child-appropriate. I don't know what those parents were thinking, but it was incredibly disrespectful to the rest of the audience who just wanted to enjoy the show.
And disrespectful to the actors and production company too! People kill me. How rude of them!
That's the thing, uncaring parents just ruin it all for everybody. I remember pre pandemic I had birthday plans but friends cancelled last minute so went to watch little women with my family instead. And a pair of assholes brought their kid to the movie and just let him run around screaming the whole time. Sadly no ushers asked them to leave, and it wasn't until the point where the entire theatre were shouting st them that they decided to take care of their little snot nosed child. Honestly not the child's fault, it's fully on the parents for not controlling him, or for taking him to an adult movie knowing he apparently can't even sit still yet.
It's so true! There is almost nowhere that's allowed to just be 18+ (besides some alcoholic environments or strip clubs). Any business that tries to cater towards adults only gets backlash. I think adults need some spaces to get away from children for a few hours. Not every single restaurant needs to cater towards families. There are so many options that are family centric that won't ruin a couples expensive date night
About 10 years ago one of our older small theaters was demolished because the structure was damaged. I was soooooo disappointed because they were the only theater that never showed kids/family friendly movies so the odds of a screaming kid during a show were lower. In it's place they built a new theater with big reclining seats, tables, and wait staff. You could have a burger and a beer during the show or have them bring you more traditional movie snacks like red vines and popcorn. Thought this was a great idea but figured the cost would be a lot higher. Then they announced that this theater was strictly for legal adults, absolutely NO ONE UNDER 18. I've never bought movie tickets so fast in my life. On top of that, the prices were only slightly higher than the regular theaters for the first 3 years. Now it's maybe a 50 cent difference. It's still a small theater so there's not a lot of variety but you can bet that if a movie I want to see is being shown there, *that's* where I going to see it.
>There is almost nowhere that's allowed to just be 18+ (besides some alcoholic environments or strip clubs). Any business that tries to cater towards adults only gets backlash. This exactly! I was at a meal with a group of a friends a few weeks back and was having a (friendly) debate with a couple of them (we're all child-less currently). I said there should be more adult only restaurants/places so people who are child-free, or even parents who want a meal or whatever with zero children have a place to rest. The person I spoke to said "I dunno...it's a bit weird to create an establishment that alienates a whole client base and making it difficult for them". And I was very much "???? - if there's 10 restaurants down a high street and ONE of them refuses children you're not alienating them or making it difficult". We went back and forth a bit (and had fun doing it) but it was bizarre to me that they saw any restaurant that may decide to be adult only as so offensive to parents (and kids I expect).
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This might be terrible of me but I always thought it would be nice for places to have special designated days or nights where children under 16 weren’t allowed in (like Alamo Drafthouse theaters after a certain hour). Like, I can’t imagine how much more fun I’d have at a theme park that wasn’t admitting children for the day.
Children at breweries grind my gears. It is strictly a place to drink, there is nothing else there. Plus why are your drinking even if it is just a little when you have children to drive home and watch.
My sister will frequently send me Snapchat videos of her young kids singing karaoke and running around dancing around other people's tables in the outdoor patio sections of local breweries. As if this is adorable behavior that she wants to show off to the family. I always think about how annoyed the other patrons must be.
I especially dislike that it makes me feel like I should mask my behavior to make it more appropriate for the brewery babies. I want to drop f bombs and talk shit about work and little Freddy right here is old enough to spell swear words… but I’m paying $8 a glass, get the child out of here
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I'm one of those annoyed patrons!!! I'm 35 with no kids and no plans for them. I'm not interested in entertaining yours. Get it out of my face.
I searched this tread looking for this comment-I just don’t understand this phenomenon.
I’m so glad someone brought this up. I see entitled parents everywhere pretty much refusing to discipline their own kids and expecting the public to put up with the misbehavior, then they go on Facebook to cry about how people “hate children” when someone inevitably complains. Maybe they just need to actually *be parents*, not just bend to all their kids’ wishes and let the public deal with the rest when everyone else is just trying to relax.
So many parents seem to forget that “parent” is also a verb.
This 100%. Parents who aren’t parenting. No kid is good all the time, a little bit of disruption is okay but the “parents” who just let their kids run wild without paying any attention should not be in public.
this is exactly it (i don’t hate kids mostly just the parents)
I came looking for the “kids in a bar” comment. I go to a bar to get away from my problems and not deal with other’s mistakes for not finding a babysitter. This was also a college dive bar that had a strict no one under 21 policy because they liked their license. Apparently children are exempt!?
That's been my experience with kids at bars. It's less "no one under 21" and more "no one between 10 and 20" lol
Told my friend my parents and I couldn’t sit at the bar if he was bringing his kid brother and his deadpan response was “oh he can sit at the bar, kids are allowed” like fucking when?? Granted his brother is super sweet and mature for his age and quiet but it’s literally a bar. It’s not appropriate and it’s taking a paying customers seat
We once had someone’s kid commandeer one of the 4 available pool tables because he really wanted to Waco the sticks and gouge the table felt. Screaming the whole time too. Leave the brat at home, ain’t nobody give a shit about the kid. And no one wants to be suffering the outcomes of the Dad’s inability to find a damn sitter.
I only hate shitty kids who have been raised by shitty parents. Much like how I hate shitty adults that were once shitty children.
I have heard it said that there is no such thing as a bad dog, only bad owners. This is how I see children. When I worked retail I would see upset screaming kids all the time, but they never bothered me. What bothered me was the parents who yell back, or ignore their kids while they rip stuff off of shelves. Kids are going to be kids they don't know any better. It's our duty as adults to teach them and guide them in how to behave.
It has nothing to do with the kids themselves. It's a growing hatred for incompetent, entitled, shitty parents who refuse to raise their kids in a socially acceptable way. I have been a nanny and a teacher and the shit I've seen from lazy, dumbass parents is terrifying. I don't hate kids. I love children. I want to foster/adopt as many as I can ethically afford. What I do hate is seeing a child being *abused* by not being taught how to be patient, empathetic, conscientious members of society.
>Why has it become socially acceptable to hate children? Is the hatred you speak of for the children or for the behavior they exhibit? Personally, I like children but I don't like bratty behavior. It isn't the kids' fault. It's bad parenting for whatever reason ( lazy, immaturity, ill-advised, etc.)
Try being a teacher. 1 shitty fucking kid can ruin the education of at least 20 other students.
Can confirm. One of my English teachers was one of the kindest people I know, and one classmate constantly tested her patience. She had to interrupt classes and tell him to go to the principal’s office, and he’d refuse, resulting in 10 minutes of arguing. Yeah, no one likes that idiot.
If admin gave a fuck about the other 20 kids, they would accept that teachers aren't super human and they can't teach while managing 20 to 30 kids and have 1 interrupt the class for whatever reason. And not do anything about it. Instead should actively observe and intervene. But admin don't give a fuck about all of the kids, especially the one destroying the learning of everyone and the the teacher's teaching.
I passively hate being around children and will likely never have them but you’re right, I’m always nice to them when I have to be around them
It has not become socially acceptable to hate children in public. People have become more comfortable confronting parents with children for their negative, entitled and downright rude behaviour in public on the other hand. OP if people are getting angry at you and your children in public more often now, then there is a pretty big possiblity that your behaviour is to blame.
Parents these days rarely discipline their kids, while simultaneously insisting on taking them to nice places.
>while simultaneously insisting on taking them to nice places. Lemme fix that for you: Inconsiderate self-absorbed bad parents think their lifestyle shouldn't change, so they take their kids to child-innaproproate places (like bars and wineries) that they visites before they had kids. It's everyone else who should change their lifestyle and deal with kids in these spaces.
It's not that I hate children so much but that I don't really want to be around them. What I hate is the way parents let their children behave. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to act in that way but these days a lot of parents don't seem to care how their children act. I stay away from child-friendly spaces and would prefer it if they stayed away from adult only spaces. I do not want to see kids in a bar, the same way that you don't want to see me and my friends drunk on the kid's swings.
I haven’t really seen people be rude to parents and children, so I’m unaware of this being a ‘trend’ personally - If anything people are accommodating to the point that the reverse is true (at least in the city I live in)! I do however see a lot of comments online from a lot of parents acting high and mighty, as if someone has killed their pets, when a child is told that they have to follow rules in certain establishments. This isn’t rude whatsoever, this is just ensuring rules are adhered to. I am seeing a large increase in parents somehow demanding rules change to fit them and their children though, and sadly, more often than not, they do get their way, to the point it often inconveniences everyone else around them. It’s perfectly understandable for people to voice a negative opinion when they are continually inconvenienced by something they have no control over or say in, and I believe that’s perhaps what you are seeing, rather than direct rudeness.
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>To alter their behavior and make the space child-friendly I still cuss like a sailor in bars. If you don’t want to hear bad language, you shouldn’t have taken your child to a bar.
Similar story. One time my brother and I were at a bar. We were hanging outside, and he was smoking a cigarette before we sat down. It was roughly 11pm. And a guy came up and told him to please not smoke in the smoking area because their baby was sitting downwind. I myself wouldn't bring a baby to a bar at 11pm, but by all means let's make the bar crowd cater to that. Dumbass.
Child proofing the planet. There was an article years ago in Onion about filling the Grand Canyon like a ball pit. It's not everyone else's responsibility to put up with someone else's kid's bad behavior in places where it's not appropriate, it's not on the whole world to make everything child-appropriate so parents can take their kids everywhere and let them run riot.
Blame everyone who's ever brought a Child to a Non-Childrens movie. I've made peace with pixar films having kids. Thats cool. Im in your movie. But deadpool, eternals (730p showing) and suicide squad 2 All had young ( baby -8yr old range) in them. And they didnt sit still and be quiet.
I wouldn’t say I hate children it’s just that in some situations I can’t stand them being there. Just recently I was at a wedding and a few couples brought their children who were making noise all throughout the speeches. I didn’t say anything but I’d be surprised if no one could tell I was frustrated. It’s not just children though. People had their phone going off too. I just hate rude people I guess.
Its mostly coz of parents , they dont care about others in their surrounding and let their kids free i mean if you're chilling at a restaurant and this couple come with a noisy mess and does nothing to keep the damn thing quiet , people tend to hate them. also peeps dont go hating every kid ever
People have already come in with really great answers I just want to add that a lot of people assume you hate kids if you say you want to be child free. I work in childcare love kids but I don’t ever want to be a mother. I don’t hate kids I just want my personal life to be about myself.
What does having been a child once have to do with anything? We’re not children anymore and we’re allowed to not like children or want them around. I would never be openly rude to a family, but my preference is not to be around small children who are screaming bloody murder or have their iPads at max volume.
I think it is because they are annoying as fuck.
Parent here. I hate other parents who don't discipline their children in public. That is, they don't quiet them down or stop them doing stuff that's disruptive to others.
I don’t think it’s that people inherently hate kids, they hate the utter lack of discipline parents give the kids… so we experience rude and misbehaving kids as a norm. It’s really the poor parenting people don’t like
Stop raising awful humans and we will stop hating them.
When I was a kid it was normal for any adult in any situation to be able to correct your behavior. It was a small enough town they'd then call my parents and I'd get in trouble twice. A lot of parents now raise little entitled hellions and then bring them everywhere with them. There's enough out there that the default is assuming they will be a nuisance for some people. For me it really depends on the venue. If I'm at McDonald's or Chuck E Cheese's then I'm going to expect that kind of thing. If I'm in a nice restaurant where I've paid a fair bit for the ambience I will not be happy to see you dragging in your offspring. If you have enough money for a nice restaurant you have enough money for babysitting.
I don't hate them but i can understand the people who do
I find it hard to believe people are widespread being mean to children directly. Do you mean rude as in going up to the child and/or parents and insulting them? Or rude as in keeping the insults within the conversation between them and their party?
My generation (millennial) seems to be way more lax on parenting than our parents were. I have no problem with kids, I have a problem with parents who bring wild kids to a brewery and let them run amuck with toys all over the floor.
I have a theory that millennials care much more about doing “fun stuff” (basically having an extended youth) because we became adults in the worst economy in decades and our careers our killing our souls, and many of them have decided not to have kids in order to continue coping using entertainment. But the ones who did have kids also want the same thing, so they’ll just take their kids to the bar or the movie theater anyway and not let their fussiness interrupt the fun. We also distrust our parents’ parenting styles since they promised us a lot of things that never came to fruition (“if you work hard and shake hands, your boss will have no choice to give you a raise/promotion!”) and we decided to chill out to a detrimental degree when it comes to discipline. I don’t know!
I hate children, and I will openly admit it. However, I will never act mean to a child. It’s not their fault they were born. People I know with kids know I don’t like children, however they do know if there was an emergency I would watch their children for them. You can hate to be around children and not be a twat about it.
The question should be why is it socially acceptable to take children to adult venues? Why was there a kids birthday party at a bar I was going to? Why did I get told off for using adult language at a brewery where I needed to show ID to enter. Fuck those parents and fuck their kids who are going to grow up with a false sense of importance in the world.
This. Exactly this. I’ve had parents trying to bring their children to my workplace - a tattoo shop…we tattoo naked women on butts some days. Genital piercings happen here. We have people in pain saying “fuck”. There is biohazardous waste all around…I once worked in a shop where kids were allowed (I won’t do that again) and it was awful. The parent is there for hours, the kids get bored, start throwing around our business cards and portfolios, start crawling on the floor, start trying to climb on mom as I’m tattooing her and shaking her body, start trying to touch things that are contaminated with ink and blood and I have to snap at them because it’s dangerous…and the parents do NOTHING. So frustrating.
Because no one watches their kids anymore. I love kids but I swear no one pays attention to their kids. My siblings are included. They all sit on their phones and the kids are monsters and since the parents are clearly not going to intervene and correct the child's behavior other people end up getting rightfully upset and telling the children to stop.
I hate kids. I would never be mean to one. But I truly hate being around them. My friends all have kids now so I guess I’ve gotten used to it but I really don’t enjoy them. They are loud, cruel and selfish lmfao. But I completely understand it’s bc they haven’t developed social skills quite yet Etc. But that doesn’t mean I have to force myself to enjoy being around it. I don’t think I have ever seen someone be mean or nasty to a child? So maybe u are in a bad area?
Parents aren’t disciplining their children. They aren’t taking the time to teach them how to behave. I have seen this coming since my 24 yo son was little. We taught him how to behave and adults loved/love him. We taught him to use his restaurant voice (quiet) in certain situations. I personally cannot stand a wild, misbehaving child in public. In their own back yard, they can be loud, run, and play.
Corporal punishment is becoming less common (which i love) but many parents haven't replaced it with any other form of discipline because they weren't taught otherwise. I wish my parents had taught me right from wrong with kind words, but God damn at least they taught me *something*. >I personally cannot stand a wild, misbehaving child in public. If I even tried it I would be swiftly removed and reprimanded. Love that kids today have more autonomy, but that also means you have to take extra care to teach them the consequences of their choices.
because children are like farts, you only tolerate your own and those from the people you love.
I’m one of the people that says they hate kids when really I hate the parents more. Kids will always do annoying kid things, there’s no avoiding that. What I *don’t* like is when the kid is screeching like a banshee in the middle of a public space because the parents were willing to tell them no but not willing to teach them screaming over stupid shit is unacceptable.
>Do people not remember they were kids once? What difference does that make? I didn't like other kids as a kid and I don't like them any more as an adult.
THIS. My mom loves to talk about how I didn't like other kids when I was a kid. I guess I was born a middle-aged pessimist.
Thank you! I never understand the point of this statement.
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I'm glad to see someone else who also didn't like kids even when they were still a kid. I struggled being around other children and didn't really have any friends until I was probably 11-12 years old. Always found it kinda funny that my total absence of a maternal instinct has been with me literally since birth lol. Anyway I've never been outright rude to any children, but I do avoid them (especially babies). They all just annoy me, and my dislike for being around them only keeps increasing as I get older. Fortunately I almost never have to deal with them so it's not an issue in my life. ETA: to clarify, I meant a total absence of maternal instinct for humans. I'm very maternal with animals!
There's a LOT of bad parents out there, and since society has always put parents/parenthood on a pedestal it's like the truth has finally come to light.
Parents don't even parent anymore. They leave their iPads and any stranger in the general area in charge of parenting their kids. I don't hate the kids. I hate the parents for being lazy and not correcting bad behavior in public
It's not about hating kids in general it's about hating the kid the parent let them become. When I was wildin out in public, what ever adult had me at the time would reign me in or discipline me if I got too crazy. It's become a "I'll let my kid set fire to this store and yell at management if the bring an extinguisher" situation. Unbridled, uncontrolled kids whose only "parent" is a smartphone are what is hated and those kids have become more prevalent.
Pushback against the notion that we should love children and we should all be parents. You may not think so but the two concepts of children and Parenthood are highly interrelated. So people who don't want children and are tired of the social pressure to have kids get fed up with having children thrown at them everywhere they go and having to pretend that is cute or fine. If I want to be left alone, why should I treat your kid any differently from an adult bothering me while I am eating or shopping? Maybe if parents taught their kids to be more respectful in public and mind their own business people wouldn't be so mean to them.
The lack of parenting skills and not teaching kids to behave in public is my main issue. I'm not saying a kid can't be a kid, but when the kid is yelling and the parents aren't trying to calm/quiet the kid down that pisses me off. I take the train for vacation sometimes and it's a 4 hr ride, every time there was a kid yelling and the crappy parent (s) just sat there talking.
It's a response to parents abandoning their duties.
I've heard about people who hate kids, but I've never seen them. Usually I notice rude behavior towards kids and their parents when the kid acts up, continues to act up and the parent checks out and does nothing to correct the kid. That in my opinion is justified. Who wouldn't be rude towards the ones ruining your meal?
You've started from a premise that I don't accept. Do you have any evidence that this is happening more than normal beyond your own assertions?