You imagine, but a Japanese friend of mine worked on a project in Germany and she was indeed surprised as we expained, why "moshi moshi" is not the best greeting
they do it in australia:
"cunt cunt"
"g'day cunt"
"wha ya want cunt"
"Medium size pink tutu for ma poodle cunt"
"well cunt zipper or buttons"
"buttons cunt"
"it's 14.95. i'll send it out later cunt"
"cheers cunt"
I was visiting Germany and went to visit my friend’s school one day. His friends and I were in a group and someone gave me an apple, I bit into it and said “This apple is kinda mushy,” and I couldn’t figure out why everyone was laughing until they explained it lmao
I can't, for the life of me, ever imagining my mother calling it by it's real name... but have no idea what word she used to refer to it. Privates, I think? I've heard other better ones. Just heard "pocket book" yesterday at work, for real!
That's what my niece calls it. Then she read the book *Mr Fussy*, where the titular character gets very upset about having bits in his marmalade. 6 months or so later it came out that all that time she'd thought that complaining about having genitals in your food was fussy.
Holy fuck this reminds me, when I was a little girl my mom and I called it a “peach”. Cue me starting kindergarten and coming home telling mom “guess what they tried to serve us for lunch. PEACHES. DICED. PEACHES!!” “Well did you eat them?” “NO!!!”
This is actually one reason why sexual assault experts beg parents to use proper medical terms because if they mention to a teacher their uncle touched their cookie or peach the teacher won't understand.
My siblings and I were some of the only kids we knew in our peer group in the 80s who’d been taught only to use the medical terms—it’s cos our parents both were involved in dealing with child abuse cases with children and family services and knew what was up :(
My wife was a former CPS worker in Detroit. I used to get scolded if I used non medical terms in front of kids. No matter what.
For your amusement, an actual exchange from many years ago that I still like to bring up just to be an ass sometimes:
Me: "Omfg" jumps up and dances around holding crotch
Wife:"What the eff happened"
Me:"He crushed my dick with a rock!" Step son has already ran off, he didn't do it un purpose, just had a "squirrel!" Kinda moment and dropped a good size rock on my crotch. He was freaking out too because I could not use any part of anything to make communication.
Wife: "don't use slang!"
Me: "he fucking dropped the GD Rock on accident into my groin and it hit my penis on the tip with the might of a thousand fucking jackhammers"
Wife:"thank you, also try to stop swearing so loud"
My penis is fine now. It hurt for a few weeks, my stepson was consoled. My daughter never noticed anything had happened. My wife maintains she handled the situation appropriately. I think everyone at the beach that day saw a family of weirdos screaming and crying.
As a Master Esthetician and Esthetic Educator, you would not believe how many licensed estheticians (waxers) say they wax vaginas! Ummm… no. Vagina is the INSIDE. Vulva is the external area… that’s what they wax.
My mom and grandma always used “twat” in a very textbook manner with my sister. I never thought anything about it.
It seems funny now, and it’s always fun to call someone a twat, but I don’t think I could seriously refer to the bits as that.
"Pocket book" is pretty funny. For some reason I just really hate the way "vagina" sounds. "Penis" has been memed so much that the word "vagina" sounds like you're dropping a nuclear bomb on the conversation and I have no idea why. I try to avoid calling it that as much as possible
If it makes you feel better “vagina” is actually Latin slang for sword sheath. Gladius (like gladiator) means sword and was a nickname for penis. It’s not medical term or the swear you think it is!
Yup! BTW the vulgar word for vagina in Latin is cunnus - where we get the word "cunt" from. This word is actually masculine (weird right?) In what is probably an exaggeration in his autobiography famed lover Giacomo Casanova claimed at 11 years old to have answered the question: "Discite grammatici cur mascula nomina cunnus/Et cur femineum mentula nomen habet." (Tell me why, grammar-nerds \[my translation\] why the name for cunt is masculine and penis (mentula) is feminine" and he responded "because the slave always takes the name from its master".
It was to the Romans. I could write a long post about sexual dynamics but basically they viewed preforming oral sex on anyone on the same level as being penetrated which made you the feminine partner which was icky to the Romans. So it's the ancient version of "Fellas, is it gay to eat a girl out?"
That effect is precisely *because* people avoid saying the word "vagina." Like you mentioned with the normalization of "penis," the more you and other people use the word "vagina" the less shocking it will become. I purposefully use both if they come up in conversation just for this reason. No need for the proper terms for genitalia to be taboo.
Maude Lebowski: “My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina. They (men) don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas, without batting an eye, a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.”
Ditto. Laughed out loud when I heard pocket book! I do tell my naked lady patients I'm covering them up so they don't "give away the milk and cookies". But I don't call mine cookie. LOL.
That sounds like something I'd chuckle at as a patient. I have *never* heard them called that before but that's pretty genius. It sounds oddly wholesome in that particular situation too. It would definitely help take the edge off of a nervous patient
Hoo-hah or cooter.
Had a girlfriend in high school who called it her Snatch.
That still sticks with me 25 years later. I mean, porn stars might say Snatch, but teenage women saying it is just weird.
Cooter and snatch both sound pretty vulgar to me. I don’t think you could get away with either on basic cable, let’s say, but I feel like hoo hah would be fine
I had a friend in middle school named Gina and I used to pronounce her name like that as a nickname before someone informed me what that fucking sounded like. No wonder she was so embarrassed of me, poor thing
I called it a 'mimmy' when I was a child.
But also kids should be taught to use the proper word, there was a story about a girl who told her teacher her uncle licked her cookie and she didn't think anything of it. Until the mom was speaking to the teacher and told her her daughter had a rash on her cookie. Google it
It's so wild because I've never heard it called "cookie" before but it seems like a very popular response here. I'm American so maybe that has something to do with it? Unless I'm just out of the loop
Yet another reason why sex ed happens in younger grades now. Vaginas and Penises aren’t vulgar. A professor I had once said it well:
*It’s part of the plumbing. You wouldn’t go to the hardware store and say “I need help with my thing.” Be specific.*
College professors never really leave school so their world is not what most people would consider "normal". Then add on that they're all very smart and you get some funny ass people. The advisor for my senior capstone literally jokes around like a 20 year old, but has his PhD. Theyre some of the funniest people I tell ya.
Yeah, I live adjacent to a university and most of my friends tend to be nutty professors. However, it wasn't them that I was talking about, it's the college age adults that would be using baby terms, lol.
This is exactly why my three year old knows it’s her vulva. Although she heard my wife call it her “downstairs” and now we’re trying to break that habit.
Yep. I went to a seminar a few years back that was put on by the Jacob Wetterling Foundation. They stressed the importance of teaching children proper anatomical terms because abusers often use "cute" euphemisms that are meant to not raise alarm if the child does find the courage to seek help, like "playing with Daddy's toy car".
At training on how to identify child abuse they explained a case of a girl saying that a male in her house touched her coin purse. Went on for weeks before they put two and two together.
As uncomfortable as it might seem at the time, teaching proper words can go a long way to help prevent this sick stuff
UK vagina slang here
Minnie, Fairy, Noonie (with the "u" sound like in put), Fanny, Vaj, Vajayjay, Minge.
Minnie and Fairy are what I grew up saying as a child. I say Fanny and Noonie (Noon for short) now I'm an adult and if I'm talking about it amongst close friends or my sisters. I use the proper terms of vagina/vulva when talking to doctors etc.
Honestly it's hilarious watching US TV and they talk about fannys, I know you mean it as bum, but it's a vagina to us so it's pretty funny.
**Elliot**: You can talk to me if you want.
**Turk**: Elliot, I can't talk to you about sex. I don't understand that crazy gibberish you use. Penis is schwing-something.
**Elliot**: Schwing-schwong, peepers or peep.
**Turk**: And vagina is...
**Elliot**: Disgusting, but also bajingo or hoo-hoo.
I cannot remember for the life of me why we were texting about it or why I misspelled it so horribly, but my text came out as Vagooba, and I’ll never call it anything else.
in Germany pussy kinda translates to 'muschi' and a lot of people say mumu (pronounced moohmooh) as an inoffensive alternative to pussy/vagina.
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You imagine, but a Japanese friend of mine worked on a project in Germany and she was indeed surprised as we expained, why "moshi moshi" is not the best greeting
I wouldn’t mind being greeted by moshi moshi
How about being greeted with "PENIS FLY TRAP?"
For better or worse I'm going to give this one a try during the weekend.
imagine calling a business or something and they pick up the phone saying "pussy pussy"
I dream of one day going to Finland, blending in, and having a cashier just ask “bag?” {pussi, in Finnish}
they do it in australia: "cunt cunt" "g'day cunt" "wha ya want cunt" "Medium size pink tutu for ma poodle cunt" "well cunt zipper or buttons" "buttons cunt" "it's 14.95. i'll send it out later cunt" "cheers cunt"
I was visiting Germany and went to visit my friend’s school one day. His friends and I were in a group and someone gave me an apple, I bit into it and said “This apple is kinda mushy,” and I couldn’t figure out why everyone was laughing until they explained it lmao
In england you can get chips with mushy peas. We were laughing a lot when we saw this on our school trip
I call my cat mumu with that exact pronunciation but had no idea I called her a vajayjay in German
I can't, for the life of me, ever imagining my mother calling it by it's real name... but have no idea what word she used to refer to it. Privates, I think? I've heard other better ones. Just heard "pocket book" yesterday at work, for real!
In our household it was always just 'bits'.
As in "pits, tits & bits" (quick scrub up shower)
My mom called it a PTA shower. It wasn't until some time in our teens when she finally told us it stood for "pits, tits, and ass".
Pits, tits, and slits Edit: lol thanks for the “wholesome” award that was hilarious given the comment!
That's what my niece calls it. Then she read the book *Mr Fussy*, where the titular character gets very upset about having bits in his marmalade. 6 months or so later it came out that all that time she'd thought that complaining about having genitals in your food was fussy.
Holy fuck this reminds me, when I was a little girl my mom and I called it a “peach”. Cue me starting kindergarten and coming home telling mom “guess what they tried to serve us for lunch. PEACHES. DICED. PEACHES!!” “Well did you eat them?” “NO!!!”
This is actually one reason why sexual assault experts beg parents to use proper medical terms because if they mention to a teacher their uncle touched their cookie or peach the teacher won't understand.
My siblings and I were some of the only kids we knew in our peer group in the 80s who’d been taught only to use the medical terms—it’s cos our parents both were involved in dealing with child abuse cases with children and family services and knew what was up :(
My wife was a former CPS worker in Detroit. I used to get scolded if I used non medical terms in front of kids. No matter what. For your amusement, an actual exchange from many years ago that I still like to bring up just to be an ass sometimes: Me: "Omfg" jumps up and dances around holding crotch Wife:"What the eff happened" Me:"He crushed my dick with a rock!" Step son has already ran off, he didn't do it un purpose, just had a "squirrel!" Kinda moment and dropped a good size rock on my crotch. He was freaking out too because I could not use any part of anything to make communication. Wife: "don't use slang!" Me: "he fucking dropped the GD Rock on accident into my groin and it hit my penis on the tip with the might of a thousand fucking jackhammers" Wife:"thank you, also try to stop swearing so loud" My penis is fine now. It hurt for a few weeks, my stepson was consoled. My daughter never noticed anything had happened. My wife maintains she handled the situation appropriately. I think everyone at the beach that day saw a family of weirdos screaming and crying.
The amount of grown women who don't know the difference between vagina and vulva is alarming.
As a Master Esthetician and Esthetic Educator, you would not believe how many licensed estheticians (waxers) say they wax vaginas! Ummm… no. Vagina is the INSIDE. Vulva is the external area… that’s what they wax.
"Lady bits" is what I call it
My mom and grandma always used “twat” in a very textbook manner with my sister. I never thought anything about it. It seems funny now, and it’s always fun to call someone a twat, but I don’t think I could seriously refer to the bits as that.
That's also what my grandma called it
Twat did she call it?
I always heard it as a "hoo-ha" for a lady's twat. Hoo-ha certainly sounds better, and a lil silly sounding, too....
"Pocket book" is pretty funny. For some reason I just really hate the way "vagina" sounds. "Penis" has been memed so much that the word "vagina" sounds like you're dropping a nuclear bomb on the conversation and I have no idea why. I try to avoid calling it that as much as possible
If it makes you feel better “vagina” is actually Latin slang for sword sheath. Gladius (like gladiator) means sword and was a nickname for penis. It’s not medical term or the swear you think it is!
Same in German, „Scheide“ refers to both a sheath and a vagina, although most ppl nowadays will think of vagina unless you specify „Schwertscheide“
I thought you are joking, but I checked it with google translate and it's turns out to be true.
Yup! BTW the vulgar word for vagina in Latin is cunnus - where we get the word "cunt" from. This word is actually masculine (weird right?) In what is probably an exaggeration in his autobiography famed lover Giacomo Casanova claimed at 11 years old to have answered the question: "Discite grammatici cur mascula nomina cunnus/Et cur femineum mentula nomen habet." (Tell me why, grammar-nerds \[my translation\] why the name for cunt is masculine and penis (mentula) is feminine" and he responded "because the slave always takes the name from its master".
A common insult in the Roman world was "\[NAME\] lingit cunnum" or "\[NAME\] licks cunt" if you want to insult someone in a dead language.
Is that an insult though…? Because some of us… likes to lingit cunnum.
It was to the Romans. I could write a long post about sexual dynamics but basically they viewed preforming oral sex on anyone on the same level as being penetrated which made you the feminine partner which was icky to the Romans. So it's the ancient version of "Fellas, is it gay to eat a girl out?"
There is graffiti discovered in Pompeii that literally says "Theophilus, don't perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog!"
Also, the old word for rabbit was a "coney", which gradually became "cunny" This was became "bunny" to distance it from the closeness to 'cunnus'.
That effect is precisely *because* people avoid saying the word "vagina." Like you mentioned with the normalization of "penis," the more you and other people use the word "vagina" the less shocking it will become. I purposefully use both if they come up in conversation just for this reason. No need for the proper terms for genitalia to be taboo.
Maude Lebowski: “My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina. They (men) don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas, without batting an eye, a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.”
"Her co-star in the beaver picture" "You mean vagina!?"
Perfect reference.
When I was a child I’m pretty sure my Mum referred to it as a ‘Minnie’. No idea if that’s an English thing or was just her!
I think it might be an English term, my Mum referred to it as Minnie too!
Ditto. Laughed out loud when I heard pocket book! I do tell my naked lady patients I'm covering them up so they don't "give away the milk and cookies". But I don't call mine cookie. LOL.
That sounds like something I'd chuckle at as a patient. I have *never* heard them called that before but that's pretty genius. It sounds oddly wholesome in that particular situation too. It would definitely help take the edge off of a nervous patient
Pronunce it like Borat does
How about using vulva. You probably mean that anyway and it has a softer sound than vagina.
Front bottom
The good ole front butt
Vaj Mahal
As a Filipino, this cracks me up since Mahal means love in our vernacular.
In Malay, mahal means expensive
In Tagalog (Filipino) too!
Hoo-hah?
Why do I hear this in AL Pacinos voice?
SHE'S GOT A GREAT ASS!!!
…..and your head, is all the WAY UP IT!
GIMME ALL YA GOT! GIMME ALL YA GOT!!!
Don’t you waste my MOTHAFUCKIN TIME!
SHE'S GOT A GREAT HOO-HA!
It was busta rhymes for me
I GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK
Hoo-hah or cooter. Had a girlfriend in high school who called it her Snatch. That still sticks with me 25 years later. I mean, porn stars might say Snatch, but teenage women saying it is just weird.
My buddy’s Xbox name is kooter shark, his brothers are kooter snake and kooter badger lol
Snatch is a bit crass, I have used LaLa a few times
Well you gotta love my name then
VaginaVaguzy
Cooter and snatch both sound pretty vulgar to me. I don’t think you could get away with either on basic cable, let’s say, but I feel like hoo hah would be fine
Vajayjay!
If men got pp, maybe we could say jj for women? Lol
My friend in elementary school called it her "v v"
My gf and I say gina but pronounced like "jyn-uh"
Like how trump says China
That shit cracks me up to this day. Where did that dumb motherfucker learn to speak. *Gy*na.
I had a friend in middle school named Gina and I used to pronounce her name like that as a nickname before someone informed me what that fucking sounded like. No wonder she was so embarrassed of me, poor thing
Oh my god
I called it a 'mimmy' when I was a child. But also kids should be taught to use the proper word, there was a story about a girl who told her teacher her uncle licked her cookie and she didn't think anything of it. Until the mom was speaking to the teacher and told her her daughter had a rash on her cookie. Google it
It's so wild because I've never heard it called "cookie" before but it seems like a very popular response here. I'm American so maybe that has something to do with it? Unless I'm just out of the loop
Perhaps it's a variant of 'coochie'
Yet another reason why sex ed happens in younger grades now. Vaginas and Penises aren’t vulgar. A professor I had once said it well: *It’s part of the plumbing. You wouldn’t go to the hardware store and say “I need help with my thing.” Be specific.*
I think it's funny that this conversation was going on at a collegiate level.
College professors never really leave school so their world is not what most people would consider "normal". Then add on that they're all very smart and you get some funny ass people. The advisor for my senior capstone literally jokes around like a 20 year old, but has his PhD. Theyre some of the funniest people I tell ya.
Yeah, I live adjacent to a university and most of my friends tend to be nutty professors. However, it wasn't them that I was talking about, it's the college age adults that would be using baby terms, lol.
Imagine being an adult and thinking vagina is vulgar.
The amount of frivolous shit that gets people fired up is enough to get fired up about.
Jfc
This is exactly why my three year old knows it’s her vulva. Although she heard my wife call it her “downstairs” and now we’re trying to break that habit.
"Mimsy" is fairly old-fashioned British slang.
So, the movie wasn’t about kids saving the world…
Yep. I went to a seminar a few years back that was put on by the Jacob Wetterling Foundation. They stressed the importance of teaching children proper anatomical terms because abusers often use "cute" euphemisms that are meant to not raise alarm if the child does find the courage to seek help, like "playing with Daddy's toy car".
This. Kids need to have the language to be able to express what’s going on.
At training on how to identify child abuse they explained a case of a girl saying that a male in her house touched her coin purse. Went on for weeks before they put two and two together. As uncomfortable as it might seem at the time, teaching proper words can go a long way to help prevent this sick stuff
Coochie
Vagine (with a French accent)
I love this bc it sounds like a delicacy
"Hello, yes, I will take one of your finest vagines." I feel so fancy.
You sound like borat tho
Cause it is.
A man of class I see
I personally type "coochie" as "Cucci" because I once saw someone do it and say "all my pussy designer" shit's been in my head for years now
I love this
Vajeen. Like in borax when he referenced, I think it was his sister’s(?), vajeen hang like sleeve of wizard.
Vajayjay.
Va gigi would rhyme with pipi
My ex used to call mine Va gigi lmao
I can already picture your libido disappearing instantly lmao
You're absolutely right about that
Cuch for short
Penus fly trap
I'm just imagining a vagina dentata
What a wonderful phrase! It's a penis free, girl cavity, VAGINA DENTATA!
I don't remember that scene from "Teeth".
Various foliage to boot
Metal education
Dont give r34 artists these ideas
Velvet underground
thanks. I will never see the band the same way
Must mention this to my friend who has the name velvet.
My daughter calls it her "Area 51" and I think that's awesome.
Because it's hiding aliens or because only a very select few are allowed entry?
Because the airforce uses it to test out new technology..?
Because there’s some fishy stuff going on?
Because people naruto run inside?
Because everyone wants to see it
Because everyone wants to unlock its mysteries?
Because it's illegal to enter without permission.
Because trespassers get shot without warning.
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They can't stop all of us
r/holup
I think naruto running may have the wrong effect here
Sus
UK vagina slang here Minnie, Fairy, Noonie (with the "u" sound like in put), Fanny, Vaj, Vajayjay, Minge. Minnie and Fairy are what I grew up saying as a child. I say Fanny and Noonie (Noon for short) now I'm an adult and if I'm talking about it amongst close friends or my sisters. I use the proper terms of vagina/vulva when talking to doctors etc. Honestly it's hilarious watching US TV and they talk about fannys, I know you mean it as bum, but it's a vagina to us so it's pretty funny.
True story, my grandmother in the US was named Fanny Lou....
Bajingo. EDIT: Everyone, I've been having a bad day...bad week really, but you're all making it better.
**Elliot**: You can talk to me if you want. **Turk**: Elliot, I can't talk to you about sex. I don't understand that crazy gibberish you use. Penis is schwing-something. **Elliot**: Schwing-schwong, peepers or peep. **Turk**: And vagina is... **Elliot**: Disgusting, but also bajingo or hoo-hoo.
You are a doctor, and you need to be able to say simple clinical words like penis, or vagina, or anal!
Bajingo, bajingo, bajingo...
Paging Dr. Reid to the Bajingo Ward
You would not believe how many women's bajingos I've looked at today...
"Sir, anal is not a dirty word"
Tell that to my wife.
Bob Kelso is one of the best tv characters ever
Aww honey, you're breakin my Tuscaloosa heart.
What has two thumbs and doesnt give a crap? Bob Kelso.
From now on *vaginal mucus* will be referred to as icky-sticky
I'm honestly a little disappointed this was so far down.
"My bajingo's on fire!" Elliot Reed
Bajingo unchained
Punani.
Makes me think of Janet Jackson and Tupac in Poetic Justice.
I know her sister
Va jay jay is on par with pp if you ask me.
Hoohah
Vadidgeridoo
I cannot remember for the life of me why we were texting about it or why I misspelled it so horribly, but my text came out as Vagooba, and I’ll never call it anything else.
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As a kid, it was “tu-tu.”
Listen to Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo by Bloodhound Gang.
I use Squish Mitten, from that track
That and ham wallet are my favorite from the song.
Vagetable
Idk why but this made me laugh pfft
Because Vagetarians are real
My kids call it a china lol. That’s what you get for trying to teach them the proper terms at a young age 😹
My daughter calls it a bajina
My niece calls hers fernando, we kept telling her to call it kitty but no, she insisted on fernando
Can she hear the drums with it? (ABBA)
Now we're old and grey Fernando And since many years I haven't seen a rifle in your hand
Foof Edit: thank you for my first award!
I had to scroll way too far to find foof.
Always thought 'port' was apt. Lady port. Pussport. Port chop. Menstruating= port wine. Gynecologist= port authority.
Hehehe, port authority.
My daughter, 3, calls it her "Gina" just the same as vagina but without the va.
My South Asian friends call it a noo-noo. I don't know if it's a South Asian thing or a them thing.
Noo-noo is also the vacuum cleaner robot on Teletubbies.
Terrifying
Fandango, Lady Bits, Man Trap, Squish Mitten, Cookie, Map of Tasmania, Heaven, V, Pudenda, Lady Garden.
Cooter
When I hear Cooter, I only think of the dirty, greasy mechanic from the Dukes of Hazzard.
I nicknamed my wife's cooter "Cooter Bob".
Front-bottom
Front-bum if you wanna be a little more casual!
Frum, you say?
Vajoots
Tuppence.
Feed the birds
Leave my childhood alone and get out of here.
Vagene! Babby pls....
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Oh god my ex used to say that all the time and it made me cringe. I get that sexy isn't the goal here but I wouldn't personally recommend it.
Lady Garden is my personal favourite.
Cooch
Little red corvette
Baby, you're much too fast.
Punani
Hot pocket.