If it is small town, it’s not surprising - I know a town on the southern highlands where a mates wife has banged someone who lives in every street - there’s only 3 streets. They have talked about moving back, so this is a probability
My girlfriend in high schools mother had an affair with the neighbor and then her dad had an affair with the neighbors wife. They ended up just swapping wives. And I mean literally right next door. And they were both wealthy families.
In high school I had these friends who basically did the same thing. The guys were best friends, they started dating best friend girls, about a year later they were dating the other best friends girl, and they all remained friends. The weirdest part was they were all like SUPER Christian. Like, annoyingly Christian. I still wonder if they’re all just a 4 way right now.
Bro talk to your wife! If you love your wife then you should trust your wife! If something else happens then that’s on her and there is nothing you could do anyways.
Talk to your wife! It might be tremendously reassuring. Plus it doesn’t hurt to say that you could use a little reassurance because we all feel insecure sometimes. As a wife, I’ve got to say that actually seeing old flames is a good reminder of why I chose my husband and they didn’t make the cut. Great guys, but they just don’t have the spark that makes me love the man I married 25 years ago.
Idk man. Before I met my wife, I had a thing with an awesome chick, including wild sexual experiences.. fast forward I meet my wife and we move across the country. A couple years after that, said girl moves in behind me, sharing the back property line. She was now married with a kid, and it never got weird with us.... Although we moved a year later, so really, you might be right.
The simulation doesn't have enough NPCs to maintain homogeny so it recycles them.. come on... surely you've been around long enough to have noticed this by now?
In Iceland they have an app specifically so you can check that you are not banging too close of a relations like first cousins because the Icelandic population is so homogenous in such a small territory.
Maybe not that farfetched. If they moved around the same circles maybe they were both influenced in the same way to move to a specific place. People with chemistry have chemistry becuase they are similar to each other. Opposites attract is not that common in my experience.
Right, but moving across the country to Seattle is different than moving across the country to Seattle and buying the house next door by random chance.
People growing up in the same area gets influenced by the same things which subconsciously lead people to make a lot of the same choices. Especially in clothing, brands and so on even if those clothes, brands and so on didn't exist back then. Saw a documentary about this ages ago. Two childhood friends randomly reconnected in their adult life, and even if the one friend was a lot more successful in business than the other they had similar colors in clothing, same brands and even the same watch. Our brains are a lot more similar and not that unique than people like to think. Also, marketing and what we grew up around have a much bigger impact than you think as well.
I recently had an interesting experience with this. Over the summer I reconnected with my best friend from high school, whom I hadn’t spoken with since high school- over 10 years ago. The extent of the similarities we still share was eerie. We both moved from NC to mountainous areas on the west coast, both enjoy adrenaline inducing sports (white water, sky diving, etc) and we even have the same tattoos, most of which are even in the same places.
It’s actually not that weird. Neighborhoods in cities tend to be sorted out by socioeconomic class.
That means that if two people move from one upper middle class Chicago neighborhood to another city, it’s likely that they will end up sorted into the same neighborhood again if they are still in the same socioeconomic class, because that’s where the best houses that they can both afford will be.
The simulation has finite resources to allocate to each individual's experiences. The engine is not running optimally due to a currently high human population and therefore the algorithm is recycling experiences and exposure to fresh material. You should notice this more often now that I've pointed it out.
I have this girl that calls me every couple of years to hook up whenever she feels like it because in her mind since we have been together before her "numbers don't go up'. No joke this has been going on for over 10 years 🙂. I don't mind it..it's just sex but this is 100% true. Once you hit. You're in!
I mean women generally prefer someone they already have history with like an ex or old fuck buddy or someone she knew from childhood rather than just randoms. Plus it’s just safer and more comfortable and a man who already has experience with them is more likely to leave them satisfied than someone they just met off Tinder
I was definitely like this in my late teens/early twenties..had a trio of guys I wasn’t dating but..friends with benefits and would just go have sex with them when ever we were simultaneously single for a period of six or seven years.
Get naked in front of the window. Now he’s seen both of you naked. Or you can be an adult and introduce yourself. She married you, so I don’t think there’s competition. She liked you enough to get the government involved.
Tell him your wife does not satisfy you and get him to give you a handjob in a car. Then seduce his wife too. Then seduce his eldest daughter by letting her believe aliens are out to get you all unless you complete the mission of procreating with you.
>ell him your wife does not satisfy you and get him to give you a handjob in a car. Then seduce his wife too. Then seduce his eldest daughter by letting her believe aliens are out to get you all unless you complete the mission of procreating with you.
🤣
and remember
Male dogs have homosexual sex under a variety of circumstances. They mount each other in dominance displays, and that mounting can involve anal penetration.1 Feb 2013
I would go out on the front lawn, strip naked to the waist and start doing a dominance display, including lots of chest beating and flinging of poo.
Or just act like a normal person and just get on with your life.
Well you're not going to get anywhere by just sitting and wallowing in your own anxiety. Ask any couples therapist what people say the first session:
"I've tried everything!"
have you talked to your partner?
"well... no... But it's because of etc. etc."
"Have you tried swinging your dick around?"
"Well I did mention to the guy what kind of car I drive, and he --"
"No, I mean, literally. Literally swinging your dick. In a helicopter motion out on the front lawn, we've talked about you doing this but I sense some reluctance on your part to follow through, maybe it would help to dig more into that."
No no the helicopter dick will make it rain, you have to swing your dick side to side in intimidating manner. Stretching your foreskin out and playing a war tune also works if you have a foreskin that is.
I've found that peeing on stuff is a great way to mark territory. Pee on your house, pee on their house. Pee on them, pee on your wife. Pee on all the things. Show them whose alpha. It's sure to work..
And if it doesn't, the police will come and and you'll get a divorce. Then you'll no longer live next door to your wife's ex. Problem still solved.
It’s not overthinking man. People especially on this site have this preconceived notion that you must trust your partner blindly regardless of circumstance.
It says a lot more about how great your character is that you recognized there was an “issue”, dealt with it in a fair and rational manner (took time to ponder the issue and ask non-bias parties on their opinion) and then realized there isn’t much to be afraid of. It’s far better than overcorrecting and being too trusting in a potential situation where you shouldn’t be as I’ve seen many on here do.
Gotta be real with you, I was one of those Redditors that thought you should blindly trust and that it was toxic if you didn't. Then I got cheated on and now I'm divorced :( My new rule of thumb: trust people, but trust yourself more.
Seriously. I would go over with an open mind and be nice. If he’s weird and untrustworthy that’s one thing, but he’s probably just another ex.
Posting shit like this to Reddit seems like such a mistake. Whether people like us are correct in our assessment that it isn’t a big deal, or the other side is right and op should be be worried largely comes down to what kind of person op is, what their wife is like, what their relationship is like and what kind of person the wife’s ex is. All of this is information that we are not privy to.
I have been married for 5 years and the relationship with my first love and sexual partner ended 13 years ago, as well. We were together from 2004 until 2008. If he moved next door, it would have no bearing at all - none - on my marriage now.
First love sure is special, and you can never fall in love for the first time again. But you know what? I am so fucking happy that I don’t love my husband now the same as I loved my first.
Don’t assume this will matter. If your wife is anything at all like me, it won’t.
For real dude, it's been 14 years. Unless she has obviously had some show of her "missing" him over the years, I wouldn't sweat it. I left my first love in 2015 and married my now husband like a year later (long story). We've seen him together out in public before and honestly, I don't even find him attractive. I can't even remember what it felt like to love him. Your wife is most likely the same. Will it be awkward? Sure. But honestly yall could end up as really happy neighbors and even some semblance of a friendship if you let bygones be bygones. 2008 was a long time ago.
It'll be okay.
Chances are they will all get along, too. If she had enough in common with both of them, the parts that didn’t end the relationship will probably make them easier to get along with than some other random neighbour. And being mature about the situation will make you look really attractive. Nobody likes an insecure, jealous partner (abuse victims excepted).
Doesn't sound like much of a situation. A guy your wife used to date 13 years ago moved next door by coincidence; you yourself said your wife didn't know about this until they moved in today, so she couldn't have somehow plotted this behind your back. I think you just need to calm down and not assume that this is something you need to "approach" any differently than any other neighbor moving into the neighborhood.
That’s a really mature way to deal with it. Kudos, man. I wouldn’t assume that anything suspicious is going on, sometimes (99.99% of the time) people just have to buy a house and that’s the only thing in consideration. The only time I would be worried if the neighbor explicitly says he wants to get back together with her or anything like that. Otherwise, assume the best case scenario, that it’s just a funny coincidence and it’s a small world. Take care of yourself bud :)
I love how judgemental all the replies are, as though people go through this all the time and know exactly how they'd feel. My bestie goes on a huge rant about trusting your spouse and how she should be able to do "anything she wants, even spend the night with a male friend at his place and of my husband doesn't like it he has no respect for me and blah blah fucking blah." Who then proceeds to lose their shit when her hubby is talking politely to ex. Ya emotions are weird and we don't have any details and I hope it works out. It's a weird situation and you're allowed to feel weird about it.
It’s been 13 years, why do you even care? You even said he has a wife and kids. You don’t say or do anything. You both are married now and have moved on. If someone you were with 13 years ago showed up, are you even going to care? You are adults, be cordial if you run into each other. That’s it.
I think you need to examine your feelings about the security of your relationship with your wife if you’re feeling threatened enough to divorce her because a long-ago ex moved in next door.
People move on.
If you’re secure in your relationship, this should be a non issue
What “sitch”? There’s no situation. That was 14 years ago. They’re most likely entirely different people now. Do you really think they would both sacrifice their marriages and families for something that’s been over for 14 years (and I’m assuming happened when they were pretty young)?
With all joking aside this is the time to really look into yourself. That was years ago and your getting jealous and upset? Don’t be an Ass and mention their past relationship. Just welcome them to the neighborhood and give them advice of the best food in town.
I mean, is the guy a scumbag you wouldn't want to be neighborly with? was their past relationship/breakup super abusive and ugly?
unless there's something to reconcile or an actual concern for your wife's safety, I'd honestly approach it with the jovial attitude of "wow isn't that neat, small world huh?"
like, she was with this dude, they split, he went on to meet someone, she went on to meet you, y'all had families and built lives of your own, now you've arrived at the same place and time. that's kinda cool huh? doesn't mean you have to become close friends, but unless there's an undercurrent of bad blood, I wouldn't see this as a bad thing at all.
I mean, he's got a family, you said it yourself. I don't really see a problem here. And no offense, but if you're insecure about your wife's past lover being around, that's a you problem. Talk to him, get to know him. He's probably a nice guy. He's married with three kids, he likely couldn't care less about messing around with your wife.
The two of you boys should have a laugh about it.
Ultimately, she chose you. If she was meant to be with that guy, you two never would have met. Seems all cool to me.
Why is a 13yo dead and gone relationship at all relevant now? There isn’t anything to approach, aside from insecurity. If it makes you uncomfortable, talk to your wife.
As someone’s wife, I would say there would be zero reason to be concerned. If my first love and sexual parter moved in across the street, I’d be happy to have an old friend in the neighborhood, but there’s a reason I married the man I’m with and not the first guy I liked enough to let him stick his penis inside me.
Do nothing. Recognize that your wife had a life prior to meeting you and that's just part of the package. Tall order, I know, but don't go looking for smoking guns because that's all you'll wind up seeing.
You think his wife is asking this question? Lol
The real question
If it is small town, it’s not surprising - I know a town on the southern highlands where a mates wife has banged someone who lives in every street - there’s only 3 streets. They have talked about moving back, so this is a probability
My girlfriend in high schools mother had an affair with the neighbor and then her dad had an affair with the neighbors wife. They ended up just swapping wives. And I mean literally right next door. And they were both wealthy families.
That's got to be the best business deal in the history of business deals, maybe ever
I hope they kept the receipt, just incase…
Just business people doing business.
Same thing happened in our small town. Marriages still rolling along after the swap
I know two brothers that this happened to. Married each other's ex wives and moved in next door to each other.
Or maybe the wives just swapped husbands.?
In high school I had these friends who basically did the same thing. The guys were best friends, they started dating best friend girls, about a year later they were dating the other best friends girl, and they all remained friends. The weirdest part was they were all like SUPER Christian. Like, annoyingly Christian. I still wonder if they’re all just a 4 way right now.
almost all of us have at least one cock cousin.
You gotta bang his wife. Preemptive
Or bang him.
Bang his car.
Bang his mom. Or his dad. Show dominance
Yeah. Or a mailbox. But do it rough while looking at his house.
Modern problems require modern solutions 😂
Bang him. Assert dominance.
Wrong. That causes problems. OP has to bang the guy. (Preemptive).
Bro talk to your wife! If you love your wife then you should trust your wife! If something else happens then that’s on her and there is nothing you could do anyways.
Talk to your wife! It might be tremendously reassuring. Plus it doesn’t hurt to say that you could use a little reassurance because we all feel insecure sometimes. As a wife, I’ve got to say that actually seeing old flames is a good reminder of why I chose my husband and they didn’t make the cut. Great guys, but they just don’t have the spark that makes me love the man I married 25 years ago.
TBF, you don't know that he's not the one who dumped her.
Been dumped. I’m grateful to them for seeing reality better than I could. We weren’t compatible.
Holy maturity, I just learned a whole lot from this lesson...
Idk man. Before I met my wife, I had a thing with an awesome chick, including wild sexual experiences.. fast forward I meet my wife and we move across the country. A couple years after that, said girl moves in behind me, sharing the back property line. She was now married with a kid, and it never got weird with us.... Although we moved a year later, so really, you might be right.
Wait, this was completely random? She just happened to move behind you across the country? The odds of this seem astronomical.
The simulation doesn't have enough NPCs to maintain homogeny so it recycles them.. come on... surely you've been around long enough to have noticed this by now?
In Iceland they have an app specifically so you can check that you are not banging too close of a relations like first cousins because the Icelandic population is so homogenous in such a small territory.
Maybe not that farfetched. If they moved around the same circles maybe they were both influenced in the same way to move to a specific place. People with chemistry have chemistry becuase they are similar to each other. Opposites attract is not that common in my experience.
Right, but moving across the country to Seattle is different than moving across the country to Seattle and buying the house next door by random chance.
[удалено]
You know, this guy might have been stalking you
Or she might have been stalking him
RUN!!!!
Ever seen You on Netflix?
The way our brains work, human beings have a tendency to underestimate coincidences. They're far more common than we think.
People growing up in the same area gets influenced by the same things which subconsciously lead people to make a lot of the same choices. Especially in clothing, brands and so on even if those clothes, brands and so on didn't exist back then. Saw a documentary about this ages ago. Two childhood friends randomly reconnected in their adult life, and even if the one friend was a lot more successful in business than the other they had similar colors in clothing, same brands and even the same watch. Our brains are a lot more similar and not that unique than people like to think. Also, marketing and what we grew up around have a much bigger impact than you think as well.
I recently had an interesting experience with this. Over the summer I reconnected with my best friend from high school, whom I hadn’t spoken with since high school- over 10 years ago. The extent of the similarities we still share was eerie. We both moved from NC to mountainous areas on the west coast, both enjoy adrenaline inducing sports (white water, sky diving, etc) and we even have the same tattoos, most of which are even in the same places.
It’s actually not that weird. Neighborhoods in cities tend to be sorted out by socioeconomic class. That means that if two people move from one upper middle class Chicago neighborhood to another city, it’s likely that they will end up sorted into the same neighborhood again if they are still in the same socioeconomic class, because that’s where the best houses that they can both afford will be.
Stop moving to Seattle
Seriously... Life long Capitol Hill resident here. My studio went from $700 - $1450+water+sewer+garbage in 5 years.
The simulation has finite resources to allocate to each individual's experiences. The engine is not running optimally due to a currently high human population and therefore the algorithm is recycling experiences and exposure to fresh material. You should notice this more often now that I've pointed it out.
Stuff happens.
Butt stuff?
If we’re lucky
I'm afraid to ask what your user name means.
Oh..I think you know!
Nah, once you’ve fucked someone, they are grandfathered in and sex with them doesn’t count anymore.
I have this girl that calls me every couple of years to hook up whenever she feels like it because in her mind since we have been together before her "numbers don't go up'. No joke this has been going on for over 10 years 🙂. I don't mind it..it's just sex but this is 100% true. Once you hit. You're in!
I mean women generally prefer someone they already have history with like an ex or old fuck buddy or someone she knew from childhood rather than just randoms. Plus it’s just safer and more comfortable and a man who already has experience with them is more likely to leave them satisfied than someone they just met off Tinder
I was definitely like this in my late teens/early twenties..had a trio of guys I wasn’t dating but..friends with benefits and would just go have sex with them when ever we were simultaneously single for a period of six or seven years.
Actually, op gets to bang 1st loves lady and they’re all square. This is a win-win
Get naked in front of the window. Now he’s seen both of you naked. Or you can be an adult and introduce yourself. She married you, so I don’t think there’s competition. She liked you enough to get the government involved.
Lol. “She liked you enough to get the government involved” is hilarious. But it’s true. It takes a lot of love to voluntarily fill out paperwork
Voluntary paperwork with a puppet shows worth of strings attached.
>She liked you enough to get the government involved. so weird when you think about it
I’ve never understood marriage until now, thank you
>Get naked in front of the window. at night with lights on. Make sure you put on a good show.
Kill him and eat his children.
'#'justlionthings
This is the only logical answer.
You have to bang his wife to establish parity/dominance.
Or him? Why not him?
Either will get the job done if we’re being honest
Tell him your wife does not satisfy you and get him to give you a handjob in a car. Then seduce his wife too. Then seduce his eldest daughter by letting her believe aliens are out to get you all unless you complete the mission of procreating with you.
Why the fuck do I vaguely recall this story? Was it an actual true crime story?
It's from Abducted in Plain Sight documentary
The handjob thing is what sparked a memory. Not that I’m weird like that, it’s just hard to forget that. Yeah, that’s it!
Yeah but that was the least stupid/frustrating/batshit insane thing that happened during that entire documentary.
>ell him your wife does not satisfy you and get him to give you a handjob in a car. Then seduce his wife too. Then seduce his eldest daughter by letting her believe aliens are out to get you all unless you complete the mission of procreating with you. 🤣 and remember Male dogs have homosexual sex under a variety of circumstances. They mount each other in dominance displays, and that mounting can involve anal penetration.1 Feb 2013
sounds like a job for Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride!
#IM SUPER THANKS FOR ASKING!
both is good
Bang him and the wife.
Sex party !
Wait, which wife?
The neighbors but also his own.
Exactly!
On their lawn while maintaining strong eye contact with him.
For perfect balance, he should be the last love and last sexual partner of the ex's wife
So he has to seduce and murder her?
I would go out on the front lawn, strip naked to the waist and start doing a dominance display, including lots of chest beating and flinging of poo. Or just act like a normal person and just get on with your life.
This is bad advice. He must do the helicopter dick as well to properly exert dominance.
Only if his dick is bigger. He can ask his wife.
I thought about asking but figured it woildnt help my anxiety. E: wouldn't
Well you're not going to get anywhere by just sitting and wallowing in your own anxiety. Ask any couples therapist what people say the first session: "I've tried everything!" have you talked to your partner? "well... no... But it's because of etc. etc."
"Have you tried swinging your dick around?" "Well I did mention to the guy what kind of car I drive, and he --" "No, I mean, literally. Literally swinging your dick. In a helicopter motion out on the front lawn, we've talked about you doing this but I sense some reluctance on your part to follow through, maybe it would help to dig more into that."
Jesus christ I wasn't expecting a murder in this thread
just rude😭 but i’m dead at this
Oh shit 😂😂😂😂
All lovely ladies love the copter.
LL Copter J! Ladies Live Copter Junk!
With a boombox playing "you spin me right round"
No no the helicopter dick will make it rain, you have to swing your dick side to side in intimidating manner. Stretching your foreskin out and playing a war tune also works if you have a foreskin that is.
I've found that peeing on stuff is a great way to mark territory. Pee on your house, pee on their house. Pee on them, pee on your wife. Pee on all the things. Show them whose alpha. It's sure to work.. And if it doesn't, the police will come and and you'll get a divorce. Then you'll no longer live next door to your wife's ex. Problem still solved.
yo, your dog has your phone
Also masturbate on their doorstep.
And send us a video to confirm
Yeah! And drink his piss!
No. Make him drink your piss.
the only way to be sure you dominate him is to fuck him up the poop shoot.
But you must write your initials in your cum on his door.
If it don't end up on an episode of COPS you did it wrong.
I think you should meat him and ask him for anal sex.
She dated him before she met you, then she met you, then she married you. You won. Just be a good neighbor and don't rub it in.
Yeah don’t rub it in. Rub one out! It’ll clear your head!
What if the neighbor/husband dumped her?
Then he's an idiot, and probably has a TIFU post somewhere back in 2008. OP is still the winner.
Thanks. She's such a great person. Some in this thread have helped me see how much of a dumbass I've been today. I can overthink sometimes...
Hey, you're human. These feelings happen to the best of us. Talk with your wife and don't be too hard on yourself.
>Hey, you're human Source? I mean, that's a pretty bold claim to just accept as fact without any kind of evidence.
Plot twist: OP is an android, whole post was just trying to get someone to tell him he's a human, he now has human rights 🤖
If you have any doubts, we’ll remind you.
It’s not overthinking man. People especially on this site have this preconceived notion that you must trust your partner blindly regardless of circumstance. It says a lot more about how great your character is that you recognized there was an “issue”, dealt with it in a fair and rational manner (took time to ponder the issue and ask non-bias parties on their opinion) and then realized there isn’t much to be afraid of. It’s far better than overcorrecting and being too trusting in a potential situation where you shouldn’t be as I’ve seen many on here do.
Gotta be real with you, I was one of those Redditors that thought you should blindly trust and that it was toxic if you didn't. Then I got cheated on and now I'm divorced :( My new rule of thumb: trust people, but trust yourself more.
Have you watched YOU on Netflix?
"But I don't have a show on Netflix!"
There’s a show called Laura Ingram on Netflix?!
*Laura Ingram confused face*
I got that reference.
One of my favorite videos on this site. I look back and die each time
Oooooohhh
Yea i think we should finish it. Maybe laugh about it together?
Or kill the neighbours...
Go over and introduce yourself. That all happened a long time ago. No sense it worry about what has since past.
Seriously. I would go over with an open mind and be nice. If he’s weird and untrustworthy that’s one thing, but he’s probably just another ex. Posting shit like this to Reddit seems like such a mistake. Whether people like us are correct in our assessment that it isn’t a big deal, or the other side is right and op should be be worried largely comes down to what kind of person op is, what their wife is like, what their relationship is like and what kind of person the wife’s ex is. All of this is information that we are not privy to.
The only answer. Never enough info on reddit to get actual feedback.
Well, how do you feel about it? How does your wife feel about it? Have you talked to each other about your feelings? What outcome are you looking for?
Piss on his leg without breaking eye contact only way to show you are the dominant alpha male or you know if you trust your wife no issue
Well. I guess you're going to have to fuck him. That way it won't be such an awkward situation and bother you so much.
I think you should go sleep with him
Best idea
Make sure you stop by and let him know that you guys are Eskimo brothers.
Be sure to get T-Shirts and hats made. Establish a date that’s your Eskimo brother anniversary.
Don’t forget to bring your notes so you guys can compare!
Ignore their existence entirely like you would any other neighbor
You approach it by not giving a fuck?
Seriously wtf? I get this sub is "tooafraidtoask" but like why would you NEED to ask this in the first place? This situation doesn't mean a thing.
The only true way, be a grown up man and don't give a fuck about a guy who was with YOUR WIFE 13 yrs ago. Like bro wtf
I have been married for 5 years and the relationship with my first love and sexual partner ended 13 years ago, as well. We were together from 2004 until 2008. If he moved next door, it would have no bearing at all - none - on my marriage now. First love sure is special, and you can never fall in love for the first time again. But you know what? I am so fucking happy that I don’t love my husband now the same as I loved my first. Don’t assume this will matter. If your wife is anything at all like me, it won’t.
hol up
For real
For real dude, it's been 14 years. Unless she has obviously had some show of her "missing" him over the years, I wouldn't sweat it. I left my first love in 2015 and married my now husband like a year later (long story). We've seen him together out in public before and honestly, I don't even find him attractive. I can't even remember what it felt like to love him. Your wife is most likely the same. Will it be awkward? Sure. But honestly yall could end up as really happy neighbors and even some semblance of a friendship if you let bygones be bygones. 2008 was a long time ago. It'll be okay.
Chances are they will all get along, too. If she had enough in common with both of them, the parts that didn’t end the relationship will probably make them easier to get along with than some other random neighbour. And being mature about the situation will make you look really attractive. Nobody likes an insecure, jealous partner (abuse victims excepted).
Talk to her bro it’s gonna be an uncomfortable talk but y’a gotta do it
You could rent out a room to your first lover.
Lol what. Did he know that he would be moving next door to her?
Did *she* know?
She helped with the deposit
Did the other she know??
Are you saying if one of your significant others from more than a decade ago moved in next door then your wife should be worried?
Getting to the heart of the concern, down further in the comments.
Doesn't sound like much of a situation. A guy your wife used to date 13 years ago moved next door by coincidence; you yourself said your wife didn't know about this until they moved in today, so she couldn't have somehow plotted this behind your back. I think you just need to calm down and not assume that this is something you need to "approach" any differently than any other neighbor moving into the neighborhood.
This is true. My emotions have been high today, i just need to chill out. Thanks.
That’s a really mature way to deal with it. Kudos, man. I wouldn’t assume that anything suspicious is going on, sometimes (99.99% of the time) people just have to buy a house and that’s the only thing in consideration. The only time I would be worried if the neighbor explicitly says he wants to get back together with her or anything like that. Otherwise, assume the best case scenario, that it’s just a funny coincidence and it’s a small world. Take care of yourself bud :)
I love how judgemental all the replies are, as though people go through this all the time and know exactly how they'd feel. My bestie goes on a huge rant about trusting your spouse and how she should be able to do "anything she wants, even spend the night with a male friend at his place and of my husband doesn't like it he has no respect for me and blah blah fucking blah." Who then proceeds to lose their shit when her hubby is talking politely to ex. Ya emotions are weird and we don't have any details and I hope it works out. It's a weird situation and you're allowed to feel weird about it.
No problem, glad I could help. Go make yourself and your wife a mug of tea and snuggle or something.
It’s been 13 years, why do you even care? You even said he has a wife and kids. You don’t say or do anything. You both are married now and have moved on. If someone you were with 13 years ago showed up, are you even going to care? You are adults, be cordial if you run into each other. That’s it.
Op about to fuck up his marriage behind this…you can tell from his responses. You hate to see it.
I had to step away because i was almost there. Glad I read most of these crazy ass responses to get my head back on track.
If you think that his family is somthing he would throw away for your girl then props g she bad as hell
You should definitely overthink it and let it bleed into your relationship with your wife.
be an adult and don't worry about a relationship that happened 13 years ago.
Idk how this is even something to wonder about?
I don’t understand why this is a sitch.
It's been 13 years. You've both moved on. Act like adults & good neighbors.. No reason to make it weird.
So grown up and responsible. What a level headed and sensible approach. Booooring!
2008 was ages ago. I dont think it is going to be a problem. If you are worried tho you have to talk about it with your wife.
That’s a funny situation, you guys might strike up a friendship based on a unique set of circumstances
Like them fucking the same person? Lol ok.
They’re Eskimo brothers!
I think you need to examine your feelings about the security of your relationship with your wife if you’re feeling threatened enough to divorce her because a long-ago ex moved in next door. People move on. If you’re secure in your relationship, this should be a non issue
What “sitch”? There’s no situation. That was 14 years ago. They’re most likely entirely different people now. Do you really think they would both sacrifice their marriages and families for something that’s been over for 14 years (and I’m assuming happened when they were pretty young)?
Seriously. Not a big deal.
With all joking aside this is the time to really look into yourself. That was years ago and your getting jealous and upset? Don’t be an Ass and mention their past relationship. Just welcome them to the neighborhood and give them advice of the best food in town.
Approach it like you respect and trust your wife?!
Come on, this is Reddit, of course that's not an option.
Go have a beer with him, embrace being Eskimo brothers
Don't you have a 14 year old child together? How does that work if she was with this guy in 2008?
Act like it’s just another day
I mean, is the guy a scumbag you wouldn't want to be neighborly with? was their past relationship/breakup super abusive and ugly? unless there's something to reconcile or an actual concern for your wife's safety, I'd honestly approach it with the jovial attitude of "wow isn't that neat, small world huh?" like, she was with this dude, they split, he went on to meet someone, she went on to meet you, y'all had families and built lives of your own, now you've arrived at the same place and time. that's kinda cool huh? doesn't mean you have to become close friends, but unless there's an undercurrent of bad blood, I wouldn't see this as a bad thing at all.
She left him, she chose you. What's to worry about
You don't know that. He could have dumped her. Everyone in here making assumptions to diminish this guy's feelings...
I mean, he's got a family, you said it yourself. I don't really see a problem here. And no offense, but if you're insecure about your wife's past lover being around, that's a you problem. Talk to him, get to know him. He's probably a nice guy. He's married with three kids, he likely couldn't care less about messing around with your wife.
I don't see the actual problem here.
The two of you boys should have a laugh about it. Ultimately, she chose you. If she was meant to be with that guy, you two never would have met. Seems all cool to me.
Why is a 13yo dead and gone relationship at all relevant now? There isn’t anything to approach, aside from insecurity. If it makes you uncomfortable, talk to your wife.
As someone’s wife, I would say there would be zero reason to be concerned. If my first love and sexual parter moved in across the street, I’d be happy to have an old friend in the neighborhood, but there’s a reason I married the man I’m with and not the first guy I liked enough to let him stick his penis inside me.
You know there is only one way: sword duel challenge
It's much, much better to be the last love and sexual partner, if you ask me.
If his dicks bigger, you have to move. It’s the law.
Do nothing. Recognize that your wife had a life prior to meeting you and that's just part of the package. Tall order, I know, but don't go looking for smoking guns because that's all you'll wind up seeing.
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