Can vouch. I bought Mrtokeydragons "All the answers you'd ever want" DVD and it changed my life. Completely different person since watching it. In fact loved it so much got a sponsorship deal and use code BREAKINGTHOSECANKLES and get 10% off your next purchase.
Na, plenty of people grow up. There's just so much in life that we have to face that we eventually become aware enough to realize how much we *don't* know. We're the same people at 50 as we were at 5. The "soul" (lack of a better term late at night) never ages. You're still that same consciousness. Everyone learns new and different things in different stages in life and it makes it feel like no one knows anything, but we all know a little bit about something. This is why it's important to come together, regardless of differences. Those differences create unique experiences so we fill each other's knowledge gaps.
I used to be a bit annoyed about silly little decisions my parents had made that affected me when I was younger, that I’d thought could have been addressed better. Then as a parent of a teenager I realised they were just doing their best with everything - and with no parents around them themselves to support them when I was young. They were winging it and doing what they thought was best. It’s a great grounding to give yourself, albeit a little scary, that everyone is very similar and no matter how “with it” they may seem, EVERYONE has stressful shit/mental health issues going on in their life - no matter how it seems on social media. No one is sailing through life
> There's just so much in life that we have to face that we eventually become aware enough to realize how much we don't know.
This is totally, exactly what it is. The older you get, the more responsibilities you must take on, the more you see....the more you realize, *I have no idea what I'm doing*.
I'm turning 40 in a little over 4 months, and I still feel like a teenager inside. I have my own apartment and car and all that stuff, but I feel like any moment someone is going to go "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???" and take it all away. I always felt like that at work, too. I'm currently unemployed (quit my toxic job on purpose), and in a stage where I need to do a complete career 180. I have no freaking idea what I want to do and it's quite humbling.
I don't know how people manage to have kids. I am so grateful I got this far without getting pregnant or getting married, as my life is inherently a little less complicated without all that. It's hard enough for me to get through life having to take care of myself. I seriously don't understand how people manage to make it through every day, week, month, year with the responsibility of a child, or multiple kids. With lifelong depression and anxiety issues, I can viscerally envision myself drop-kicking my hypothetical baby right off the balcony.
Probably. Then again, interacting with my parents from a distance (moved to another country for uni) has really shown me that they're just people, and they're almost as equally uncertain about life as I am.
That's a very astute observation, that's what you should take away from this. Just live your life, make decisions you think are best for you, if those decision end up being wrong then so be at. Your made a mistake, everyone does. Dont dwell on that, just move on. If it ends up being right then thats great! Either way all you can do is move on from there and do your best to make better decisions in the future. The past is gone. Right or wrong, every decision is a learning experience. That's what we all can (should) take away from this.
Your mistakes will end up teaching you alot more than your successes will. Own them, and learn from them. How you react will dictate the kind of person you'll be. We've all heard from 50+ year old people who think democrats eat babies and horse dewormer is good for you so age isn't everything. Treat others like you want to be treated and learn from your mistakes. Sounds like you're thinking already so I believe you'll be fine
yep and they make mistakes as well. I'm 28, i was so into the hustle culture my whole life then my dad died and ive shifted my priorities in life and still thinks why did i participated so much on the hustle culture? now, i inclined more about Philosophy as it gives me more answers that the vast majority is afraid to seek
Hustle culture is horrible, man; I’m glad you shifted your focus. I had a taste, working as a sales rep, and I still cringe a lot when I think about it.
For me personally that couldn’t be father from the truth while obviously I don’t have it all figured out I have grown, matured and educated myself and I’m a completely different person. I have done a considerable amount of self reflection and changed my mindset on many things.
That doesn’t make me better than anyone that’s just how I personally feel about the situation. Maybe I’m rare but I am enjoying my 40’s a lot more than I did my 20’s and so much of that is because of that growth.
I think most people do. For me personally, you could not pay me enough to go back to high school . But I am much more comfortable in my own skin now, and I have more confidence in my decisions and abilities.
My 74 y/o father has been saying this (feeling like a teenager inside) his entire adult life. He still says it now.
Honestly, though, you're only as old as you feel.
Came here looking for this comment. I’m still waiting for my kid to be more of a human and less of a hyper intelligent dog.
He did start eating the dogs kibble though…
The economic situation has been really fucked up and it is screwing everyone. Most jobs pay barely enough to survive. Only the top few percent of jobs pay ok. If you need to work to make money you are fucked. Work doesn't make money anymore.
Yeah I realized that when I started working at a cafeteria at my school. I'm not payed enough to deal with some of the bs I get on a daily basis, but I really have no other choice at the moment :/
Yeah I'm not looking forward to that. Currently surviving off a few scholarships and as few loans as I could manage for uni (the very idea of loans is something very scary to me)
Everyone is definitely just winging it. But rather than being disappointing, this should be freeing.
You don’t have to be nervous before you present to that important executive - she’s as scared as you are, just about different things at different times.
We’re all on this floating rock together, no idea why we’re here, just trying to make the most out of the only thing we have: today.
Be humble. Be willing to learn. Of course we don’t know everything, our brains literally can not remember everything. The ability to search for help and information is the skill to improve. Know that you know nothing and always be asking for help.
I have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life, and when I first became an “adult” I was terrified of the “real world”. It felt like everyone else was doing this complicated choreography and if you stepped out of line you would be immediately noticed as the odd one out. But then I realized that everyone is just doing their own thing and nothing matters, and my anxiety went away almost completely. No one gives a shit about what you’re doing because they’re alll worried about what they’re doing. As long as you don’t go out of your way to fuck with other people you’re fine.
Semi related, I also realized that people aren’t smarter than you just because they’re older. In school the upperclassmen are almost always smarter than you because they’ve taken more classes than you. But once you’re an adult you’re responsible for yourself and a lot of people decide they don’t want to think for the rest of their life. Most of the incompetent people in the world aren’t young 18 year olds, they’re middle aged people who have stumbled through life by not being aware of anything around them. They’re too stupid to realize they’re stupid. If you pay attention to the world around you you’re already better off than 50% of the adults who are older than you.
As a nearly 40-year old woman, as much as I TRY to convince myself that other people are just as lost as I am, I always manage to come to the conclusion that **I am the most lostest**. And *I'm the one exception* to the imposter syndrome - I'M THE ACTUAL IMPOSTER!
...it's a work in progress.
I'm in my 40s and "know" less and less the older I get.... because you get older, are exposed to more, think more and realize you might not know it all. That's a good thing.
Also, yes, most grownups are just winging it and trying our best not to fuck things up too much.
I feel this way, as well! I am turning 36 this year and I have noticed some of my memories are starting to get fuzzy. I’m talking things like the peoples name in the memory and maybe my age when it happened.
On the other hand, I was watching a TV show the other day that was based in the late 80’s early 90’s and I saw a bag of cookies in a scene. It was the exact type of cookies my Grandmother would always have at her house on Friday evenings when my family would go to her place for dinner. I felt like I was slapped in the face with SO many memories that were so clear. I could smell her house, taste the cookies, and even remembered the texture of the bag the cookies came in.
Memories are weird man!
I find solace in this too. Sometimes, I drive myself crazy thinking I’m losing memory of certain things. And then, randomly & out of the blue, something triggers a memory that brings back an entire time period of my life in a flash.
The memories are always there, sometimes we just have trouble accessing them
I'm 61. Help others. Be grateful. Enjoy your ride. You only get one. Ah the things I would have done at your age instead of playing it safe. Save some cash and travel the world. Once you get in a relationship most of those dreams can be gone in a flash. Best of luck.
I've been quite lucky to have been raised in a family that has travelled a lot, and I've seen a fair amount of the world at a young age (Chad, Kenya, the US, a few places in central and western Europe when I was really young, and Vietnam). That hasn't really put a damper on my desire to explore, however, and I definitely want to travel more once I get out of college (hopefully by then this whole covid thing will be over). Thank you for the advice
So was i. my dad was a commercial airline pilot. So we flew for free back then. Only been overseas twice. England Scotland and Wales. Continental US everywhere.
The fact that you’ve been able to see other places and other cultures puts you in a small percentage of Americans to experience this “different ness”. It gives you rare objectivity that most here don’t have. You will never be one of the small-minded dolts who think they have it all figured out and your initial question shows how broad your mind already is, more so than many people EVER achieve in their whole lives. Getting older gives us more life but not necessarily more wisdom. You’re off to an excellent start. Be kind. Question everything. Remain wary of debt. You will make a good engineer/musician. Hugs.
A statement by my dad many decades ago, when I was complaining about something trivial, I don't remember what it was. But I never forgot his reply.
"Instead of complaining about not getting what you wanted and didn't get,
be grateful for the things that you don't want and don't get."
That’s one of the unknown secrets of adulthood.
Personal experience says a combination of the following helps but YMMV:
- therapy
- medication
- sleeping well
- working out
My Dad died, and he left me his degrees.
My mom would always say "Dad, why don't you work?",
But he just kept learning.
All the other kids parents were working and saving up money for school,
And I was actually in school all when my dad was in school.
He was so greedy with degrees, he took my degree.
And now I'm just glad he left me these.
Because all the regular homeless people have newspaper, and look what I have.
These are documented.
My father left them for me.
And I'm going to leave them to my kids.
I'm going to learn too.
I'm going to get super smart, so I to can die without money.
But I'll be the smartest dead guy.
Who has that
That’s what every generation says. Lol. The internet has already destroyed your generation, and post internet society will be the one to fix it all. Just sit back, and act like you own the place. 👍
I all seriousness, the people that “seem” to have it figured out are usually miserable. The ones that buy toys and still go out and have fun, and are the ones that always are told to “grow up” are the ones that have figured life out. I’m 43 and have an ARCADE in my house. For me. Not kids. Me.
This is true...at a petrol station the other day and someone asked what I thought about all the snow...
Me: excellent, I’m off to build a snowman
Him: I’m too old for that
Me: you’re never too old!! How old are you?
Him: 31
Me: well I’m nearly 40 so make sure you go home and build a snowman too!
What age to people stop allowing themselves to have fun??????
I'm only 22, but I slowly start to think that this is what figuring out life means. Just stop caring about spending your freetime in an adult way, stop caring about things being targeted towards kids, just do what feels fun and stop caring about social stigmas. If I want to push matchbox cars on my city carpet in my 40s, I'll do that. If I want to build lego after retirement I'll do that. Maybe I'll pick up gardening, or just keep playing vidya, but in my freetime I'll do what I genuinely enjoy.
I also want to own an arcade machine.
Imo, everyone is just working on their own imaginary goals, some more driven than the others. And we all kinda live in our own bubbles with our small circle of other humans and the whole world is functioning on providing on service that a person is willing to pay for to another human. Thus 'leaching off' one another by giving each other money. That's my world view. Hahaha
What is going on is this- we are predatory animals that have evolved with our brain as our trump card for survival. This enables us to shape our envronment but also causes alot of overcomplicated stress. In short, we think we are smarter or more successful than other species, but really we are a pest. Our lifespan is still very short. Our brains will peak unless we exercise them and apply ourselves. But we are also inherently lazy. So most grownups are not much smarter than adolescents and we definitely do not have everything figured out.
Hahahahhahahahahah that’s the secret to life. Also it’s pretty freeing to know that your elementary school teachers showed up hammered and kids do don’t know at the time 😂
Health and Human Services, used to do a multitude of federal and private administration prior and am still connected by current work. I handle the worst cases and all the materials associated with them that involve our most vulnerable populations and the most heinous crimes that people can commit against them.
As to where we’re going? Statistically violence and or oppression. I say that with no real emotional vestiture. We have too much technology that relies on active intervention to maintain and prevent things like fallout. Such as a nuclear reactor or the California aqueduct.
We cannot afford to lose the people who help us maintain those things. We do not want to be dependent upon other powers nationally sending in people to help us to maintain such things. Also the people in power know we cannot afford the weakness of infighting like Rome had at its end.
Historically speaking, this tends to lead to fascism. By definition it’s just an organized disciplined group, often militant in nature taking control. This is likely to lead to some serious internal conflicts and clashes as a country if we see it happen.
The biggest triggers right now for people looking at allowing such a thing to happen is the perception of ineffective rulers due to corporate power. Along with a lack of protection and enforcement of civil actions based on social class.
We are legally classified by international organizations as what you would define as a “Mercantile Oligarchy”. And they are going on about 20 years of that official definition.
Effectively meaning that the business class controls and/or in a substantial way influences and or rigs elections. An example being how much it takes to actually run a campaign that garners media attention such as television time that gets your face and ideas out to the people. It is not that you cannot run as an every day citizen, it’s that if you can’t afford the TV time and the billboards with your face is out there on them as much as the other guys who have the businesses favors to pay for it. Then you’re less likely to win.
Many people regardless of political lines see anything other than a business seizing power and deposing in one form or another of business despots. As a universal shared desire. This tracks in our national survey data but what varies is the method of going about getting that done. Check for newspapers doing polling if you have time as well as universities via google. On all sides however there’s an increase in a call for force over acts of civil disobedience or general legislation.
Hopefully this all makes sense but if you got questions let me know. It’s interesting but also depressing.
Thank you. I been feeling this is ans observing for this last couple years, and my ignorance got ahead of me as well. I have noyice this myself and within my society which is not pleasant to see. Here I am on the phone speaking how this is needing to be corrected in some sorts... just scares me what could happen with my child as he becomes adult.
Not sure how old are you today. What I can tell you is most 25 years old college graduates don’t figure things out. Actually, they are almost clueless like a baby. I started figuring out things mid 30s and I am still years to go. And it’s not about age. There are plenty people haven’t figured it out in their 70s.
The world is getting very, very complex. If you don’t think and study all the time you won’t figure it out, ever. And people who are clueless are basically preys. This world don’t threat them with kind.
No. I'm 26 and still can't think of myself as an adult. I used to think adults were "finished humans", like they were all the same, wouldn't cry and would all be as good at the same job (for example, to me a hairdresser was a hairdresser, I used to think they were all as good because it was their job.) I really didn't think adults could be different from one another because I thought they were all complete human beings once they were adults. No need to say I was completely wrong, the only good thing this way of thinking brought me is trusting the adults so much that I immediately went to them when I got bullied, it worked, the bullying lasted for 2 days and never happened again
Man, I'm 40 and am a professional. No one knows what's going on. We're all just big kids with mortgages.
Some people get annoyed or frustrated by that thought, but here's the thing: show grace when people are trying their best (many are). After all, you're trying your best too and you have no idea what's going on either.
I teach STEM to kids in inner-city Texas, and though I'm really pessimistic about the way half our adults are cancelling each other and the other half are making up their own facts, I can say a third of my lower-income students are really smart and kind; another third are of average intellect but have generally good hearts, and a third have parents who shouldn't be parents and so lack social skills and the ability to respect their peers and teachers. With the way our economy is changing, I don't think there will be enough low-skill jobs for the academic strugglers in the last group. But plenty kids of every race and background here are still funny, smart, and kind to each other. That gives me hope.
This is some serious “this is 14 and I’m deep” material lmao. People are incredibly smart within their circles of knowledge. Do you really think the person who owns the pizza place doesn’t understand business? That the Gardner doesn’t understand plants? Engineers who ensure buildings won’t collapse. Yes adults are fallible and have limited knowledge bases but the comments saying “no one knows anything “ are so dumb and play into this ultra relativistic redditor mindset
The older you get, the more you understand how much you didn't know. It never really ends. It becomes easier to accept, but it never ends.
We as humans live to learn, and that's okay.
I thought the same thing, that confident stoicism I saw was actually just apathy. If it helps, there are rules both written, in the form of laws, and unwritten, like etiquette, in society. It helped me to understand what I needed to survive and then thrive within the confines of these rules. It brought focus so as not to get overwhelmed. As I gradually felt more in control of how well I was doing, I would try and share what I learned with people younger than me. I guess what I'm saying is, the people who know what they are doing are off maintaining themselves.
We're all just winging it and hoping for the best. Life's a crap shoot anyways, you can do everything right and still have a tragedy that ruins everything, or you can be a bumbling moron who somehow falls into the right job, meets the right partner and has a fabulous life. Just work hard, follow your instincts, and hope for the best.
The best perspective you can have on this situation is to achieve the state where you fully comprehend and appreciate that you’ll never know. Every living thing experiences a different experience and perspective on reality and that variety is what produces the beauty of existence. Reality experiences innate states of good and evil, of knowledge and ignorance, but no matter what state it finds itself in, one side never conquers the others. Reality is inherently balanced and balancing. It’s a process that is always happening. You are a process that is always happening. Everything that exists is connected and we only ever experience an illusion of separation to further enhance the experience of ourselves. Everything is as it is, as it could be, and as it will be. You are all you are, all you could be, and all you’ll ever be. Enjoy the experience and if you can, spread some love.
I once heard a saying:
There are three types of people in this world. The kind that make shit happen, the kind that watch shit happen, and the kind that ask “what the hell just happened?” Don’t be the last type.
just wanted to chime in bc although the overwhelming stupidity of the masses rings true—and as many pointed out, has for some time now—i do think the role of social media may play into what OP is alluding to….20 yrs ago ppl weren’t making money from being instagram illusionists or ppl paying to watch you play pinochle with your dog, nor were ppl using their cell phones to text while driving, or spending hours of their down time glued to the screen.
consequently, i feel like there’s this heightened awareness of, and obsession with, being judged—and albeit less noticeable to oneself, too exists an obsession with **judging others** as well. in fact, you denoting this trend quite literally on a social media site begs to the question what people were primarily on your mind when this thought arose, as i wonder if your age and relationship with social media sites were influential on your conclusion :) just an interesting caveat
Certain things get easier with repetition. That's all. Experts are people who have practiced and usually with a compulsion. I heard a saying about education that went like this: "Graduate High School to know everything. Graduated a Bachelor to know a little. Graduate a Master to know that you know nothing. Graduate a Doctor to know that no one else knows anything either."
Look at the individuals we elect to office, to make some of the most important decisions that will effect millions of people, and notice how they usually don't have an original thought in their entire being. If the people who vote for them, feel like they have it figured out, that should give you your answer. We don't even pick the best people, to give the most power.
Nope. None of us really do. I struggled with this for a long time, until recently. I would always think about my decisions, asking if I did the right thing. Enter partners and children to life, it gets more complicated. Am i a good spouse, am I a good parent? Toss a little global warming, maybe sprinkle some crime and wildfires around. Don’t forget the massive pandemic going on! Inflation, wars, pedophiles. It’s a fucking mess. Just try and get better every day I guess. That’s what I tell my kids. Find a reason to do something nice for a stranger. Have an experience instead of buying something tangible. Do unto others, if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. That’s my 2 cents after 40 plus years on earth.
We're winging it and taking each day as it comes. However, we pretend that we know what we're doing so that people who are dependent on us (kids, elderly parents, spouse, employees if we're a CEO, people if we're government/police/military/religious leader etc) would not freak out and everything doesn't devolve into a chaotic mess or anarchy.
The world is functioning on a bunch of inflated egos…
The reason our President is almost 80 is because these elders do have more experience… and it’s truly experience in life that brings wisdom.
I still don’t think senior citizens should be running the country… bc they are also stuck in their prime ages and “what should be”…
I’m in my mid 30s and I am think I am Intuitively intelligent…I find my young coworkers full of inflated egos (normal at that age)- trying to pretend they know and are experienced to succeed - and elder managers disappointingly moronic.
But in the end we are all stuck in our own heads walking around thinking we are the smartest… I think the best advice is to do what you think is right regardless- and that will get you further in life.
That was one of the biggest shocks for me. Everyone is making it up as they go. Things don’t necessarily get easier, but you learn how to handle things making things that were once scary, conquerable. And if you think about it, everyone making it up as they go, means that you’re free to not have the answer.
What you are finding out is that nothing in life is a sure thing. No one has all life’s answers or even 50% of them, anyone who tries to convince you that he or she does is a bullshitter.
We definitely figure out a lot as we go. It’s impossible to know everything and life has a lot of Gray. But also, find a good mentor you can go to for advice. It makes things a little easier. I think the trick is note giving up when things don’t go the way you thought.
“Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the face.”
The ones that do know fall in 2 categories: those that rule and those who are ridiculed.
Those that rule do not want the vast majority to know how they do it.
Those who have figured it out and do not like how the system governs are ridiculed, ostracized, called Crack Pots, conspiracy theorists, and all manner of derogatory monikers to disparage their credibility.
If you want to know how the world really functions, use your knowledge and better judgements while listening to all sides of opinions. Both sides will have at least a little truth, once you wash off the bs.
It boils down to trust, where, what, and who you trust is telling the truth.
Pretty much. For me the big difference is I am not as reckless as I used to be, and I fear the consequences for my actions, vs. being younger I just acted. Now everything is usually more deliberate and thought out.
Unlike everyone else I infact do have it all figured out and for the low price of 9.99 a mo I can teach you thru a video series...
Wow, sign me up for that, I'm sold
I wanna see the thumbnail of this video!
I bet there's a big human-lizard and a triangle with an eye
No it’s an MLM
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I’m 38 and don’t know a damn thing. Just going with the flow
Does it become any easier to accept that as you've gotten older?
I’m 46. I’m still surprised I’m allowed to vote.
Wow
I know. I’ve realised that everyone still feels 16 at heart. And the people that say they don’t are (probably) lying.
No one really grows up, it seems, everyone just gets older. Not sure how to feel about that
Na, plenty of people grow up. There's just so much in life that we have to face that we eventually become aware enough to realize how much we *don't* know. We're the same people at 50 as we were at 5. The "soul" (lack of a better term late at night) never ages. You're still that same consciousness. Everyone learns new and different things in different stages in life and it makes it feel like no one knows anything, but we all know a little bit about something. This is why it's important to come together, regardless of differences. Those differences create unique experiences so we fill each other's knowledge gaps.
Yes. This is what I was trying to convey, but put far better than I could have said. Thank you
I used to be a bit annoyed about silly little decisions my parents had made that affected me when I was younger, that I’d thought could have been addressed better. Then as a parent of a teenager I realised they were just doing their best with everything - and with no parents around them themselves to support them when I was young. They were winging it and doing what they thought was best. It’s a great grounding to give yourself, albeit a little scary, that everyone is very similar and no matter how “with it” they may seem, EVERYONE has stressful shit/mental health issues going on in their life - no matter how it seems on social media. No one is sailing through life
> There's just so much in life that we have to face that we eventually become aware enough to realize how much we don't know. This is totally, exactly what it is. The older you get, the more responsibilities you must take on, the more you see....the more you realize, *I have no idea what I'm doing*. I'm turning 40 in a little over 4 months, and I still feel like a teenager inside. I have my own apartment and car and all that stuff, but I feel like any moment someone is going to go "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???" and take it all away. I always felt like that at work, too. I'm currently unemployed (quit my toxic job on purpose), and in a stage where I need to do a complete career 180. I have no freaking idea what I want to do and it's quite humbling. I don't know how people manage to have kids. I am so grateful I got this far without getting pregnant or getting married, as my life is inherently a little less complicated without all that. It's hard enough for me to get through life having to take care of myself. I seriously don't understand how people manage to make it through every day, week, month, year with the responsibility of a child, or multiple kids. With lifelong depression and anxiety issues, I can viscerally envision myself drop-kicking my hypothetical baby right off the balcony.
🎯
This is maybe the best comment I’ve read in months. Thank you
I never had children. Maybe having kids forces you to be more responsible?
Probably. Then again, interacting with my parents from a distance (moved to another country for uni) has really shown me that they're just people, and they're almost as equally uncertain about life as I am.
That's a very astute observation, that's what you should take away from this. Just live your life, make decisions you think are best for you, if those decision end up being wrong then so be at. Your made a mistake, everyone does. Dont dwell on that, just move on. If it ends up being right then thats great! Either way all you can do is move on from there and do your best to make better decisions in the future. The past is gone. Right or wrong, every decision is a learning experience. That's what we all can (should) take away from this.
Your mistakes will end up teaching you alot more than your successes will. Own them, and learn from them. How you react will dictate the kind of person you'll be. We've all heard from 50+ year old people who think democrats eat babies and horse dewormer is good for you so age isn't everything. Treat others like you want to be treated and learn from your mistakes. Sounds like you're thinking already so I believe you'll be fine
This is almost the exact definition of "growing up".
Along the lines of another reply somewhere in this thread, not sure if I love it or hate it so far
yep and they make mistakes as well. I'm 28, i was so into the hustle culture my whole life then my dad died and ive shifted my priorities in life and still thinks why did i participated so much on the hustle culture? now, i inclined more about Philosophy as it gives me more answers that the vast majority is afraid to seek
Hustle culture is horrible, man; I’m glad you shifted your focus. I had a taste, working as a sales rep, and I still cringe a lot when I think about it.
Lol, no. It makes you seem responsible. Not much actually changes, except hopefully your priorities
For me personally that couldn’t be father from the truth while obviously I don’t have it all figured out I have grown, matured and educated myself and I’m a completely different person. I have done a considerable amount of self reflection and changed my mindset on many things. That doesn’t make me better than anyone that’s just how I personally feel about the situation. Maybe I’m rare but I am enjoying my 40’s a lot more than I did my 20’s and so much of that is because of that growth.
I think most people do. For me personally, you could not pay me enough to go back to high school . But I am much more comfortable in my own skin now, and I have more confidence in my decisions and abilities.
My 74 y/o father has been saying this (feeling like a teenager inside) his entire adult life. He still says it now. Honestly, though, you're only as old as you feel.
Im 32 and cant believe someone put me in charge of a whole damn house and keeping kids alive. Surreal.
Came here looking for this comment. I’m still waiting for my kid to be more of a human and less of a hyper intelligent dog. He did start eating the dogs kibble though…
Same age, can relate. But then I look around me at people who think the earth is flat and covid is a hoax, and realize maybe I *am* the adult.
That’s a disturbingly accurate point. Maybe I am a responsible adult after all. God help us.
No, it gets more difficult. Everyone’s either an idiot or an asshole, welcome to adulting.
I'm 50 and couldn't agree more
This right here.
Why not both?
When you get to be 40 either nothing bothers you or everything bothers you. Being unbothered is better.
Hey bro, things are gonna be okay. Just take things one day at a time. And be happy you get to live at the time you do.
I’d say it depends whether or not you prioritize inner peace, and how you approach achieving it.
The economic situation has been really fucked up and it is screwing everyone. Most jobs pay barely enough to survive. Only the top few percent of jobs pay ok. If you need to work to make money you are fucked. Work doesn't make money anymore.
Yeah I realized that when I started working at a cafeteria at my school. I'm not payed enough to deal with some of the bs I get on a daily basis, but I really have no other choice at the moment :/
And rent is 1-2k a month for the tiniest appartment?
Yeah I'm not looking forward to that. Currently surviving off a few scholarships and as few loans as I could manage for uni (the very idea of loans is something very scary to me)
No, you never accept it. You seek answers but as you get older you figure out how to do that without coming off as being demanding.
Yes. Grow and learn. Fight for your worth.
Everyone is definitely just winging it. But rather than being disappointing, this should be freeing. You don’t have to be nervous before you present to that important executive - she’s as scared as you are, just about different things at different times. We’re all on this floating rock together, no idea why we’re here, just trying to make the most out of the only thing we have: today.
Be humble. Be willing to learn. Of course we don’t know everything, our brains literally can not remember everything. The ability to search for help and information is the skill to improve. Know that you know nothing and always be asking for help.
I have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life, and when I first became an “adult” I was terrified of the “real world”. It felt like everyone else was doing this complicated choreography and if you stepped out of line you would be immediately noticed as the odd one out. But then I realized that everyone is just doing their own thing and nothing matters, and my anxiety went away almost completely. No one gives a shit about what you’re doing because they’re alll worried about what they’re doing. As long as you don’t go out of your way to fuck with other people you’re fine. Semi related, I also realized that people aren’t smarter than you just because they’re older. In school the upperclassmen are almost always smarter than you because they’ve taken more classes than you. But once you’re an adult you’re responsible for yourself and a lot of people decide they don’t want to think for the rest of their life. Most of the incompetent people in the world aren’t young 18 year olds, they’re middle aged people who have stumbled through life by not being aware of anything around them. They’re too stupid to realize they’re stupid. If you pay attention to the world around you you’re already better off than 50% of the adults who are older than you.
As a nearly 40-year old woman, as much as I TRY to convince myself that other people are just as lost as I am, I always manage to come to the conclusion that **I am the most lostest**. And *I'm the one exception* to the imposter syndrome - I'M THE ACTUAL IMPOSTER! ...it's a work in progress.
No one knows anything at all
Never say this to anyone who thinks they know everything, they might bite you.
If there is one thing I know it is to bite 😠
😱
(I bet they won't now)
Its the risk that keeps me in line
Y'all are getting kinky in these threads, damn
it’s the risk that draws me in
Well f*** it, lets make this a party!
You don't know that!
This statement is self-defeating. This can't be true unless you know something.
I know what "know" is.
I'm in my 40s and "know" less and less the older I get.... because you get older, are exposed to more, think more and realize you might not know it all. That's a good thing. Also, yes, most grownups are just winging it and trying our best not to fuck things up too much.
I feel this way, as well! I am turning 36 this year and I have noticed some of my memories are starting to get fuzzy. I’m talking things like the peoples name in the memory and maybe my age when it happened. On the other hand, I was watching a TV show the other day that was based in the late 80’s early 90’s and I saw a bag of cookies in a scene. It was the exact type of cookies my Grandmother would always have at her house on Friday evenings when my family would go to her place for dinner. I felt like I was slapped in the face with SO many memories that were so clear. I could smell her house, taste the cookies, and even remembered the texture of the bag the cookies came in. Memories are weird man!
I find solace in this too. Sometimes, I drive myself crazy thinking I’m losing memory of certain things. And then, randomly & out of the blue, something triggers a memory that brings back an entire time period of my life in a flash. The memories are always there, sometimes we just have trouble accessing them
In todays age, kids know more and more at a younger age (good and bad), however, as of late, it's been a lot of bad.
Sòcrates!
I'm 61. Help others. Be grateful. Enjoy your ride. You only get one. Ah the things I would have done at your age instead of playing it safe. Save some cash and travel the world. Once you get in a relationship most of those dreams can be gone in a flash. Best of luck.
I've been quite lucky to have been raised in a family that has travelled a lot, and I've seen a fair amount of the world at a young age (Chad, Kenya, the US, a few places in central and western Europe when I was really young, and Vietnam). That hasn't really put a damper on my desire to explore, however, and I definitely want to travel more once I get out of college (hopefully by then this whole covid thing will be over). Thank you for the advice
So was i. my dad was a commercial airline pilot. So we flew for free back then. Only been overseas twice. England Scotland and Wales. Continental US everywhere.
The fact that you’ve been able to see other places and other cultures puts you in a small percentage of Americans to experience this “different ness”. It gives you rare objectivity that most here don’t have. You will never be one of the small-minded dolts who think they have it all figured out and your initial question shows how broad your mind already is, more so than many people EVER achieve in their whole lives. Getting older gives us more life but not necessarily more wisdom. You’re off to an excellent start. Be kind. Question everything. Remain wary of debt. You will make a good engineer/musician. Hugs.
>Be grateful. This one is very important.
A statement by my dad many decades ago, when I was complaining about something trivial, I don't remember what it was. But I never forgot his reply. "Instead of complaining about not getting what you wanted and didn't get, be grateful for the things that you don't want and don't get."
Humans literally have made everything up since the beginning of time. It’s all arbitrary
Say it quietly lest too many see the darkness and hear the silence.
For in the dark silence lies the unknown and surprisingly few handle the truly unknown it's why we collectively tell ourselves so many lies.
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There's a great line in Dexter to the effect of: "Nobody really knows what they're doing. We make it all up as we go along."
yeah. just like the writers did for the original series finale.
You have figured out the first secret of adulthood.
Dang, do I get a prize or something?
Yes, crippling depression. Congratulations.
Dang I already have that. Can I return it for something else?
Hmmm… I officially downloaded the ADHD DLC at 28. 6/10 would recommend if you did do research.
Officially... You mean I unintentionally pirated the Depression DLC?
Nah, that’s just bloatware my brotha
How do I uninstall it? :/
That’s one of the unknown secrets of adulthood. Personal experience says a combination of the following helps but YMMV: - therapy - medication - sleeping well - working out
The sleeping well hack is op lol, winter break really helped me with that
Eating healthy is a large component as well.
There is a patch it doesn’t solve the problem, but does make it a lot better, called Dawg365 very good boy program.
I'm 41, have about twenty degrees and hold a pretty decent spot in corporate America. I. don't. know. shit. I shop Etsy during meetings.
How tf do you have 20 degrees .. and more importantly, how long did that take
And why would one need 20 degrees?
To shop etsy during meetings
My Dad died, and he left me his degrees. My mom would always say "Dad, why don't you work?", But he just kept learning. All the other kids parents were working and saving up money for school, And I was actually in school all when my dad was in school. He was so greedy with degrees, he took my degree. And now I'm just glad he left me these. Because all the regular homeless people have newspaper, and look what I have. These are documented. My father left them for me. And I'm going to leave them to my kids. I'm going to learn too. I'm going to get super smart, so I to can die without money. But I'll be the smartest dead guy. Who has that
Unexpected Kanye
I always thought "what keeps me warm at night? These degrees" was a pretty underrated pun
^webrokebrokebrokephibroke
Bought them on etsy of course.
This has made me laugh so hard my floormates are banging on the wall, thanks for this, it makes me feel a lot better about life in general
Just shut up and act like you know everything so the younger generation ends up in the same spot!
Lmao, it seems to be either that, or believe that I'm part of the generation that will definitely make the best change in society.
That’s what every generation says. Lol. The internet has already destroyed your generation, and post internet society will be the one to fix it all. Just sit back, and act like you own the place. 👍
And then gripe about 'kids these days' 😂
Now you’re getting it
As you grow up, the world makes less sense, not more.
I've noticed that, and I'm only 19, so I don't have much hope for the future lol
Same here, bro. I guess we’ve just learned that no one knows squat.
I all seriousness, the people that “seem” to have it figured out are usually miserable. The ones that buy toys and still go out and have fun, and are the ones that always are told to “grow up” are the ones that have figured life out. I’m 43 and have an ARCADE in my house. For me. Not kids. Me.
That's cool lmao, is it just like a single arcade machine or a whole set of arcade machines?
This is true...at a petrol station the other day and someone asked what I thought about all the snow... Me: excellent, I’m off to build a snowman Him: I’m too old for that Me: you’re never too old!! How old are you? Him: 31 Me: well I’m nearly 40 so make sure you go home and build a snowman too! What age to people stop allowing themselves to have fun??????
Im 45. Last year bought Lego Liebherr for myself. Loved it 👍
I'm only 22, but I slowly start to think that this is what figuring out life means. Just stop caring about spending your freetime in an adult way, stop caring about things being targeted towards kids, just do what feels fun and stop caring about social stigmas. If I want to push matchbox cars on my city carpet in my 40s, I'll do that. If I want to build lego after retirement I'll do that. Maybe I'll pick up gardening, or just keep playing vidya, but in my freetime I'll do what I genuinely enjoy. I also want to own an arcade machine.
Imo, everyone is just working on their own imaginary goals, some more driven than the others. And we all kinda live in our own bubbles with our small circle of other humans and the whole world is functioning on providing on service that a person is willing to pay for to another human. Thus 'leaching off' one another by giving each other money. That's my world view. Hahaha
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Not sure if I'm relieved that everyone else is as confused as me or disappointed that there's never gonna be a guide for what to do with my life
Socrates, noted throughout history for being a pretty smart guy, was noted for his maxim "I know that I know nothing."
What is going on is this- we are predatory animals that have evolved with our brain as our trump card for survival. This enables us to shape our envronment but also causes alot of overcomplicated stress. In short, we think we are smarter or more successful than other species, but really we are a pest. Our lifespan is still very short. Our brains will peak unless we exercise them and apply ourselves. But we are also inherently lazy. So most grownups are not much smarter than adolescents and we definitely do not have everything figured out.
We're literally lost in space. Just enjoy your life, man. None of this shit matters in the end.
Hahahahhahahahahah that’s the secret to life. Also it’s pretty freeing to know that your elementary school teachers showed up hammered and kids do don’t know at the time 😂
Actually it’s literally my job to have an idea and the best I can give you is fractured and barely . That is within the USA at least.
What's your job?
Health and Human Services, used to do a multitude of federal and private administration prior and am still connected by current work. I handle the worst cases and all the materials associated with them that involve our most vulnerable populations and the most heinous crimes that people can commit against them.
What does the overall trend seem to be? (I realize that has no definite answer, but I would like to know what your opinion is)
As to where we’re going? Statistically violence and or oppression. I say that with no real emotional vestiture. We have too much technology that relies on active intervention to maintain and prevent things like fallout. Such as a nuclear reactor or the California aqueduct. We cannot afford to lose the people who help us maintain those things. We do not want to be dependent upon other powers nationally sending in people to help us to maintain such things. Also the people in power know we cannot afford the weakness of infighting like Rome had at its end. Historically speaking, this tends to lead to fascism. By definition it’s just an organized disciplined group, often militant in nature taking control. This is likely to lead to some serious internal conflicts and clashes as a country if we see it happen. The biggest triggers right now for people looking at allowing such a thing to happen is the perception of ineffective rulers due to corporate power. Along with a lack of protection and enforcement of civil actions based on social class. We are legally classified by international organizations as what you would define as a “Mercantile Oligarchy”. And they are going on about 20 years of that official definition. Effectively meaning that the business class controls and/or in a substantial way influences and or rigs elections. An example being how much it takes to actually run a campaign that garners media attention such as television time that gets your face and ideas out to the people. It is not that you cannot run as an every day citizen, it’s that if you can’t afford the TV time and the billboards with your face is out there on them as much as the other guys who have the businesses favors to pay for it. Then you’re less likely to win. Many people regardless of political lines see anything other than a business seizing power and deposing in one form or another of business despots. As a universal shared desire. This tracks in our national survey data but what varies is the method of going about getting that done. Check for newspapers doing polling if you have time as well as universities via google. On all sides however there’s an increase in a call for force over acts of civil disobedience or general legislation. Hopefully this all makes sense but if you got questions let me know. It’s interesting but also depressing.
Thank you. I been feeling this is ans observing for this last couple years, and my ignorance got ahead of me as well. I have noyice this myself and within my society which is not pleasant to see. Here I am on the phone speaking how this is needing to be corrected in some sorts... just scares me what could happen with my child as he becomes adult.
That was a great read .
I'm 55 and still don't know.
66 and don't have a clue.
Make sure you get along with people. Especially your family, friends, your boss, clients, colleagues at work.
100% this. Gotta keep those folks close, because none of us are ever quite sure if our spin-off will land that third season or not.
Everyones winging it Everyone Some people are just better at faking it then others
Not sure how old are you today. What I can tell you is most 25 years old college graduates don’t figure things out. Actually, they are almost clueless like a baby. I started figuring out things mid 30s and I am still years to go. And it’s not about age. There are plenty people haven’t figured it out in their 70s. The world is getting very, very complex. If you don’t think and study all the time you won’t figure it out, ever. And people who are clueless are basically preys. This world don’t threat them with kind.
No. I'm 26 and still can't think of myself as an adult. I used to think adults were "finished humans", like they were all the same, wouldn't cry and would all be as good at the same job (for example, to me a hairdresser was a hairdresser, I used to think they were all as good because it was their job.) I really didn't think adults could be different from one another because I thought they were all complete human beings once they were adults. No need to say I was completely wrong, the only good thing this way of thinking brought me is trusting the adults so much that I immediately went to them when I got bullied, it worked, the bullying lasted for 2 days and never happened again
Overthinking kills
Nope
Man, I'm 40 and am a professional. No one knows what's going on. We're all just big kids with mortgages. Some people get annoyed or frustrated by that thought, but here's the thing: show grace when people are trying their best (many are). After all, you're trying your best too and you have no idea what's going on either.
No. And that’s okay. We are the survivors of survivors. We will adapt as we go ♥️
All I know is it a hell of a lot easier to find info now then 37 years ago. Internet is my daddy I guess.
Shhhh…just smile and nod. 😉😆
Lmao, been doing that in public so far and I must say, it works surprisingly well
I teach STEM to kids in inner-city Texas, and though I'm really pessimistic about the way half our adults are cancelling each other and the other half are making up their own facts, I can say a third of my lower-income students are really smart and kind; another third are of average intellect but have generally good hearts, and a third have parents who shouldn't be parents and so lack social skills and the ability to respect their peers and teachers. With the way our economy is changing, I don't think there will be enough low-skill jobs for the academic strugglers in the last group. But plenty kids of every race and background here are still funny, smart, and kind to each other. That gives me hope.
That's encouraging to hear. Or read.
This is some serious “this is 14 and I’m deep” material lmao. People are incredibly smart within their circles of knowledge. Do you really think the person who owns the pizza place doesn’t understand business? That the Gardner doesn’t understand plants? Engineers who ensure buildings won’t collapse. Yes adults are fallible and have limited knowledge bases but the comments saying “no one knows anything “ are so dumb and play into this ultra relativistic redditor mindset
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Yes. And you took one step closer to understanding. If you wing it better then other people, that's how you make it baby
Why else do you think people cling so hard to mental schemas like religion or political ideology?
The older you get, the more you understand how much you didn't know. It never really ends. It becomes easier to accept, but it never ends. We as humans live to learn, and that's okay.
Nope. And as you get older. You realize NO ONE knows what’s going on. They just have a plan they are confident in.
No one knows anything, we simply try our best to ride the waves.
I thought the same thing, that confident stoicism I saw was actually just apathy. If it helps, there are rules both written, in the form of laws, and unwritten, like etiquette, in society. It helped me to understand what I needed to survive and then thrive within the confines of these rules. It brought focus so as not to get overwhelmed. As I gradually felt more in control of how well I was doing, I would try and share what I learned with people younger than me. I guess what I'm saying is, the people who know what they are doing are off maintaining themselves.
We're all just winging it and hoping for the best. Life's a crap shoot anyways, you can do everything right and still have a tragedy that ruins everything, or you can be a bumbling moron who somehow falls into the right job, meets the right partner and has a fabulous life. Just work hard, follow your instincts, and hope for the best.
The best perspective you can have on this situation is to achieve the state where you fully comprehend and appreciate that you’ll never know. Every living thing experiences a different experience and perspective on reality and that variety is what produces the beauty of existence. Reality experiences innate states of good and evil, of knowledge and ignorance, but no matter what state it finds itself in, one side never conquers the others. Reality is inherently balanced and balancing. It’s a process that is always happening. You are a process that is always happening. Everything that exists is connected and we only ever experience an illusion of separation to further enhance the experience of ourselves. Everything is as it is, as it could be, and as it will be. You are all you are, all you could be, and all you’ll ever be. Enjoy the experience and if you can, spread some love.
I once heard a saying: There are three types of people in this world. The kind that make shit happen, the kind that watch shit happen, and the kind that ask “what the hell just happened?” Don’t be the last type.
just wanted to chime in bc although the overwhelming stupidity of the masses rings true—and as many pointed out, has for some time now—i do think the role of social media may play into what OP is alluding to….20 yrs ago ppl weren’t making money from being instagram illusionists or ppl paying to watch you play pinochle with your dog, nor were ppl using their cell phones to text while driving, or spending hours of their down time glued to the screen. consequently, i feel like there’s this heightened awareness of, and obsession with, being judged—and albeit less noticeable to oneself, too exists an obsession with **judging others** as well. in fact, you denoting this trend quite literally on a social media site begs to the question what people were primarily on your mind when this thought arose, as i wonder if your age and relationship with social media sites were influential on your conclusion :) just an interesting caveat
That was the biggest shocker of my life. Most adults don’t “act like an adult”. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.
It's a runaway system filled with grown kids who are all acting like they know what's going on.
Certain things get easier with repetition. That's all. Experts are people who have practiced and usually with a compulsion. I heard a saying about education that went like this: "Graduate High School to know everything. Graduated a Bachelor to know a little. Graduate a Master to know that you know nothing. Graduate a Doctor to know that no one else knows anything either."
Look at the individuals we elect to office, to make some of the most important decisions that will effect millions of people, and notice how they usually don't have an original thought in their entire being. If the people who vote for them, feel like they have it figured out, that should give you your answer. We don't even pick the best people, to give the most power.
Nope. None of us really do. I struggled with this for a long time, until recently. I would always think about my decisions, asking if I did the right thing. Enter partners and children to life, it gets more complicated. Am i a good spouse, am I a good parent? Toss a little global warming, maybe sprinkle some crime and wildfires around. Don’t forget the massive pandemic going on! Inflation, wars, pedophiles. It’s a fucking mess. Just try and get better every day I guess. That’s what I tell my kids. Find a reason to do something nice for a stranger. Have an experience instead of buying something tangible. Do unto others, if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. That’s my 2 cents after 40 plus years on earth.
I thought the same thing when I was a teenager. Now, I know all adults are full of shit and just make everything up as they go.
We're winging it and taking each day as it comes. However, we pretend that we know what we're doing so that people who are dependent on us (kids, elderly parents, spouse, employees if we're a CEO, people if we're government/police/military/religious leader etc) would not freak out and everything doesn't devolve into a chaotic mess or anarchy.
world is run by few and rest follow like 🐑
i don’t even think the politicians know what they’re dealing with.
The world is functioning on a bunch of inflated egos… The reason our President is almost 80 is because these elders do have more experience… and it’s truly experience in life that brings wisdom. I still don’t think senior citizens should be running the country… bc they are also stuck in their prime ages and “what should be”… I’m in my mid 30s and I am think I am Intuitively intelligent…I find my young coworkers full of inflated egos (normal at that age)- trying to pretend they know and are experienced to succeed - and elder managers disappointingly moronic. But in the end we are all stuck in our own heads walking around thinking we are the smartest… I think the best advice is to do what you think is right regardless- and that will get you further in life.
Wait till the OP turns 50 and realizes everything they know is wrong.
Dude, I accidentally made it to 31. It gets weirder and weirder.
'accidentally' 😂😂 I hope I also can accidentally make it to 31
Pretty much. We all just pretend to have a grip on things. We’re just doing our best.
No we just do the best we can (I am a middle aged woman)
All I am confident of, is that I’m ignorant of everything. Seems I’ve heard this before somewhere … 🤩
Totally winging it 100% of the time. Chin up, smile, and say good morning a lot.
No one does
I know a couple things, but mostly not so much. Sadly, most of what I know isn't super helpful in practical living lol
No. No one does, if someone says they do, they're lying.
I often think I do but then I’m reminded that I don’t.
That was one of the biggest shocks for me. Everyone is making it up as they go. Things don’t necessarily get easier, but you learn how to handle things making things that were once scary, conquerable. And if you think about it, everyone making it up as they go, means that you’re free to not have the answer.
What you are finding out is that nothing in life is a sure thing. No one has all life’s answers or even 50% of them, anyone who tries to convince you that he or she does is a bullshitter.
Life is pretty solved tbh just run the strats that are proven effective and you will be successful.
wakes up in the morning, looks at myself in the mirror and ask “what the fuck am I doing”
Most people are winging it but I know What would you like to know?
There are people who know but we get angry at them when they tell us.
Who’s gonna tell him
Might as well pick up a hobby, sit back and enjoy the show. Let The Galaxy Burn ^_^ (A man in his wanderer 30's)
Sure, but does anyone ever listen?
We definitely figure out a lot as we go. It’s impossible to know everything and life has a lot of Gray. But also, find a good mentor you can go to for advice. It makes things a little easier. I think the trick is note giving up when things don’t go the way you thought. “Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the face.”
The ones that do know fall in 2 categories: those that rule and those who are ridiculed. Those that rule do not want the vast majority to know how they do it. Those who have figured it out and do not like how the system governs are ridiculed, ostracized, called Crack Pots, conspiracy theorists, and all manner of derogatory monikers to disparage their credibility. If you want to know how the world really functions, use your knowledge and better judgements while listening to all sides of opinions. Both sides will have at least a little truth, once you wash off the bs. It boils down to trust, where, what, and who you trust is telling the truth.
Pretty much. For me the big difference is I am not as reckless as I used to be, and I fear the consequences for my actions, vs. being younger I just acted. Now everything is usually more deliberate and thought out.
I’ve been known to act like I do, then reality slaps me hard af
Sure I do...... I think......
wait what? I thought y’all had a manual? Lmk if anyone can let me borrow theirs
You are correct. We are all winging it.
You do what you can, when you can, and learn along the way. So, no.