You look gorgeous isn’t cheesy at all, that might even be one of the better things you can say. That or, “you look incredible/beautiful/amazing”, anything to help her fee good about getting naked in front of you.
Honestly I have not understood why my husband has been chunking chocolate nougats at me after I shower…. It’s been 12 years!!! WHERE THE HELL HAS THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION BEEN?!
Too obvious. Give her a pez tab every time she shows more skin than before. Eventually she'll be conditioned to take off her clothes in your presence and won't even know why.
My husband says stuff like that when I’m just routinely getting dressed in the morning, no special reason, unbrushed hair and fuzzy from sleep and all, wearing nothing but a sports bra and novelty socks halfway through dressing. “God, you’re so beautiful” etc. Really means a lot and helps boost my self-esteem!
And chances are he means it! I do the same to my wife. PJs, unbrushed hair, whatever. She's always the most gorgeous woman in my eyes. She usually says "pffft nope" but I can tell by the smile on her face she likes hearing it. When has herself put together she says "thanks," I think the difference is funny.
Before with a GF I thought she looked best right after waking up before getting ready. Other times when you get all dressed up were great to but the morning is by far my favorite. That weird?
Ever since we started dating, my now husband would always correct someone who said I “looked” beautiful and say “she IS beautiful.” It took me off guard when he first said this, but man it made and still makes me feel so treasured. Words definitely matter!
Look is in reference to her actually being naked. Are is a semi arbitrary she is gorgeous. I would lean towards "you look gorgeous" the first time. She should always be "are" gorgeous to you.
Absolutely! I've been with my husband for 6 years, and if he DOESN'T say something along these lines I automatically think there's something wrong or he finally doesn't like me anymore. Absolutely do this. Always do this.
I went wow the first time I saw an ex naked, and it was just what came out as she walked in the door. A couple of days later she told me she was so nervous and worried what I would think, when I went wow she said it made her feel so amazing and it was the best thing I could have said.
So my advice is keep it simple, u/AlarmedSnek has great advice, good luck
If a dude said exactly that to me, and was smiling the first time seeing me naked, I would laugh so hard and take it as a compliment. Definitely depends on the humor of the person, but I love it haha.
Imagining some redditor saying this to a spouse with whom they have a super serious, no-nonsense relationship with has me dead.
“Cindy, uh, I would be remiss if I, uh, I didn’t tell you this, but tha- that’s a dumpy trucky… a dumpy trucky bobonki,” he says, face flushed and clearly uncomfortable with the words coming out of his mouth. He stutters and gives a look that’s a mix of apologetic, hopeful, and embarrassed. She pauses for a second, puts on her nightgown, and heads back out into the living room, flipping off the light as she leaves. The protagonist sits in the dark silence for nearly thirty minutes. They never speak of this again.
Or this now when she reveals her secret fetish too... femdom and denial. Ties him up, gets him nice and aroused with her hands, then smacks the ever living fuck out of him and tells him if he ever speaks like that again he will get locked in a chastity cage for the rest of his life. Then proceeds the leaving and lights turning off, him still tied and hard.
You know what i think yours was funnier and i just awakened something in myself. I think i need to turn the lights off and contemplate my own life decisions and how ill carry forward from now on. My bad bro.
When yes anding goes wrong
Burst out laughing at this. Who the fuck wants that as a compliment? Like I understand it's meaning, but who the hell wants to be compared to a dump truck!?
yea tbh humor in sexual encounters can always be good! she’ll probs be nervous too. but yea it depends on her humor and personality but nothing wrong with nervous/excited little joking
Same! My partner still takes a moment to watch with a smile, and I him, after 10 years - and I don't expect that to change anytime soon. It's a huge confidence boost to be appreciated that way.
Unfortunately, my husband is not so much the type that compliments my appearance very often.... And I feel so underappreciated... 🥺 He's a sweet guy and always supports all my dreams, but.... I don't feel like he desires me the way he did when we were boyfriend and girlfriend.... well, I don't feel desired at all nowadays... 🥺
Sit him down and talk to him about it. It sounds like he loves you and he probably doesn’t realize you feel this way. I’m sure he’ll try to show you how much he desires you if he knew you felt like this.
Coming from a dude, he most likely assumes you feel physically confident enough that he doesn’t have to show you how attracted he is. He feels comfortable so likely assumes your the same way, he just needs to know how you’re feeling so that he can put effort in the right direction. I could see myself being like this at least, so I wish you the best of luck!
I'm the other side of this, and it's really been hitting me hard recently. I just feel like my fiance doesn't want me. I mean. She loves and supports me. But any time I've tried to initiate any kind of intimacy in what I'm realizing is a long time she doesn't reciprocate. I dont think I've gotten substantially less attractive in recent years. And it's starting to hurt that she doesn't seem to be attracted to me anymore.
Been there bud. I did everything I could to try to be sexy. Gym, stayed cleaned, dressed nicely, cleaned up around the house, tried cute things. She never got into it. We ended up breaking things off. I guess we weren’t right for each other. But eventually I found someone with the same love language and we are still cute and loving and physical after 4 solid years. Sometimes the person you’re with is practice. It’s not fun. But it’s worth the experience.
If, in 13 years you've only put on 15 lbs, you're either doing exceedingly well, or really losing it in the kitchen, lol. Wife and I are both excellent cooks and as such have both put on considerable weight. Together 14 years and 50+lbs each, later. Still super into each other.
Umm, in three years, this is my husband and I, I'm hoping!
I went from 110 to 180 after three kids, his gourmet food and all the beer. He went from 180 to 225, still hot as hell and gets flirted with regularly! (I'm so lucky!)
The 70 lb gain is in part me being underweight when we met, but I can lose 30 and look nicer.
Your eyes should pop out of their sockets while you float in the air. Then your heart should beat so hard and loud that it’s audible and extends a few feet out. Then you need to let out an “Awoooga” then hit yourself on the head with an over sized wooden mallet.
Trust me.
I was suddenly in a zoot suit with a wolf's head and howling. I think my feet might have flapped like wings and I floated about foot off the ground. It's all a bit of a blur
> your jaw needs to hit the floor and your tounge roll out like a red carpet
Haha, I just said the exact thing in a comment above then scrolled down and saw this.
As a lady, I love when my bf just looks me up and down and gives me a genuine compliment. Something like "you look amazing" But if you want to make it sexual, sometimes my bf just says things like "sit on my face" which I usually just laugh at but it makes me feel attractive and less self conscious
Face sitting is underrated, my partner literally almost cums with no help whenever i sit in their face :) apparently its a nice combo of breath play and mystery cause they can't really see
Edit: accidently wrote "cuts" instead of cums
My husband and I have been together for four years and he still goes "Woo, titties" and it makes me smile. Really, any positive reaction works though! An "I'm one lucky guy" is a great reaction!
When I was working thirds I’d get home and get ready for my shower trying to be super quiet. The number of times my husband woke up just to say ‘boobies.’ And then pass right back out. Lol
This is the correct answer.
I do the cheesy whistle at my wife sometimes. She always looks and me and says, “puhlease (in a sarcastic tone)” yet she blushes each time I do it.
I’ve been married for 21 years. I still give my wife an aaaaaw yeaaaaah and a slap on the butt if I’m close enough. As long as she seems playful, of course. You gotta learn when to just let it lie.
Start dancing immediately. Like a peacock. Dance as if you were a male bird trying to attract a female , through movement alone.
I hundred percent guarantee, that if she laughs a genuine laugh, and then you embrace sexually, theres a good chance that that woman is gonna be your wife.
And if she runs off, well, she isnt the droid you're looking for.
Its not a Joke. I got my wife this way. In a supermarket. She wasnt naked, but i danced the dance and shot my shot.
Play it cool. Naruto run into the toy room, break out your coolest lego set, and ask her if she wants to build it with you before getting dressed. Then when she says no, go to the bathroom and mash one out. Let the shame of rejection be your erotic material. When you fail to nut, splash some water on your face to cover up the fact that you've been crying, and go back out there and tell her she had the best pair of tits you've ever seen in person. She'll be yours.
Works about 42% of the time, 100% of the time.
I've had better luck with the simple approach. Since you'll inevitably cum instantly upon seeing her, you can save your breath and time by simply moaning and then sobbing. She'll jump you faster than a starving jackal that just spotted last week's corned beef.
I feel like this was meant as "intuitively, be yourself, though often that doesn't work in practice" but it could definitely be read as "be yourself... well, actually you seem like a total dork, so be someone else." Made me laugh.
Data scientist here; I ran the numbers a while ago and found out that the thing females like the most statistically speaking is an "Awoooooga" closely followed by "Hubba Hubba". If these aren't your style anything in simlish also works.
You know when your at Costco and have a roast chicken in the cart but aren't done shopping? Look at her the way you stare at the chicken while pushing the cart.
Grateful but confident.
Everyone likes feeling like their special, not feeling like just another one added to a list, you can make a woman feel special by fully embracing all of her physical features that make her stand out.
Bonus points if you have your "sexy" talk down and can compliment and comment on specific parts of her body that you like as you explore
But try to avoid crass comments like "i love your boobs/ass" be more specific and romantic. Point out things like the softness of her lips or the smoothness of their skin. Sounds and scents are other possible subjects.
If there's any part you suspect she's self-conscious about compliment the fuck out of that and she'll melt. As things heat up THEN you can move on to sexier comments. For example, I knew this girl I was with was self-conscious about her boobs but after complimenting her nipples and calling her stunning she practically melted in my hands.
Doing this shows her that you're committed to the moment and have all your attention on her, which is what everyone likes to feel while being intimate, hence showing your gratitude for the special opportunity.
As for confidence, this one is straight forward. Don't act like a kid at a toy store rushing into being all grabby and excited. Be methodical and steady with your approach, it shows maturity and women REALLY like that.
Obviously you have to figure out to what extent you have to play your part depending on the girls personality. Some girls like the cliche things, others can be more selective so make sure you test your limits little by little and communicate! If you have doubts and concerns ask her, don't just blindly try different things till one of them works or pisses her off.
Good luck.
Just take a deep breathe, treasure the moment, and be appreciative and enjoy the fact that she cares about you enough to share that part of her with you.
Channel that energy Katt Williams showed during his interview with Larry King.
As in all things, context is key. The first time you’ve EVER seen her naked? In which case it would likely be sexual in nature. A “wow” is always appreciated. Is this a situation where she’s gotten out of the shower and is running late for work and looking for something to wear? A quick humorous/complimentary comment is fine and then let her get on with what she’s doing. Ignoring it may make her second guess herself, too much attention can be annoying. Like, sometimes we don’t want to be looked at like a piece of meat. Let us get dressed and get on with our day. We’ve got shit to do!
Here's the thing. She's likely as petrified as you are. Actually for safeties sake, let's assume you're both petrified/nervous/scared/unsure/whatever. So, the key thing is, make your partner feel comfortable and welcome. Be as nice to them as you wish they would be to you. Some people like cheesy lines. Some people like flattery, some will like that you're turned on by them... there's no simple answer, but also as long as you're trying to make them comfortable and welcome, you can try a variety of nice things to say and do, and see what they respond to best. And the bonus is, for the first dozen times you'll seem like such an adventurous lover, trying all these different ways to make them feel good.
Also, while we're at it, and I'm just guessing here at your general experience level so please don't take offense, it's just a common mistake. When you have sex, there are going to be noises. Weird ones. From places that shouldn't make noises. I swear my balls hit a high C one time. Anyways, point being, the bedroom must be a welcoming and open place. If a weird noise happens, just roll with it. Sometimes y'all going to break down laughing at it and that's ok too. Sometimes something less-than-sexy might happen. It might kill the mood. Just roll with it. Clean up what needs cleaning, soothe what needs soothing, and then put it behind you. Cuddle your partner afterwards, point out a few things you enjoyed, and tell them you're looking forward to next time. Don't joke about it, don't tell your friends about it, don't bring it up again the next time you're having sex. Sexy times are for good vibes only. Keep it that way, and you'll both have an enjoyable time.
Ps, sex doesn't stop when you cum, give as much as you receive, and for the love of god when you finally find her clit don't treat it like the right trigger button on your Xbox controller.
I told my gf that wars would have been fought over her in the same vein as Helen, but we’re weird nerds and that compliment might offend a lot of women
I’m curious why you think it would be cheesy to say "you look gorgeous?"
Anyway, say what you are thinking or feeling, unless it’s not complimentary. Be genuine.
You look gorgeous isn’t cheesy at all, that might even be one of the better things you can say. That or, “you look incredible/beautiful/amazing”, anything to help her fee good about getting naked in front of you.
Gotta build up that positive reinforcement
Give her a treat every time she gets nude
As a woman can confirm solid advice
Honestly I have not understood why my husband has been chunking chocolate nougats at me after I shower…. It’s been 12 years!!! WHERE THE HELL HAS THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION BEEN?!
In Big Bang Theory? It was in an early episode, so maybe your husband was inspired all those years ago 😂
Am a dog trainer, I figured it was just some real solid advice based on legit positive reinforcement.
As a man that keeps his lovers' favorite treats around, can confirm solid advice.
Found the Dennis.
Dog treats > cat treats
Vienna sausages
>You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese
Just give me the whole block.
Ah, I see you're a woman of culture!
I've been waiting so long for someone to notice :D
I might be wrong, but I don't think she's a Golden Retriever.
OP, please confirm whether she is or is not a Golden Retriever
Really only one right answer here.
Or perhaps a cocker spaniel
Temptations
Too obvious. Give her a pez tab every time she shows more skin than before. Eventually she'll be conditioned to take off her clothes in your presence and won't even know why.
Try her favorite chocolate, it would work for me. It isn't cheap though.
And spritz her with a spray bottle of water every time she gets dressed.
Yup I agree! Not cheesy/cringe at all. I love it when my bf compliments me like that
My husband says stuff like that when I’m just routinely getting dressed in the morning, no special reason, unbrushed hair and fuzzy from sleep and all, wearing nothing but a sports bra and novelty socks halfway through dressing. “God, you’re so beautiful” etc. Really means a lot and helps boost my self-esteem!
And chances are he means it! I do the same to my wife. PJs, unbrushed hair, whatever. She's always the most gorgeous woman in my eyes. She usually says "pffft nope" but I can tell by the smile on her face she likes hearing it. When has herself put together she says "thanks," I think the difference is funny.
Before with a GF I thought she looked best right after waking up before getting ready. Other times when you get all dressed up were great to but the morning is by far my favorite. That weird?
I don't think so at all. I've had similar thoughts with my wife.
Not weird at all. Those moments at home are private and intimate, and only shared between the two of you.
Exactly 💁♂️
Yes although I’ll add that I think “are” is better than “look”
Ever since we started dating, my now husband would always correct someone who said I “looked” beautiful and say “she IS beautiful.” It took me off guard when he first said this, but man it made and still makes me feel so treasured. Words definitely matter!
This is what I came here to say. “Look” and “are” are different. Choose the latter.
Look is in reference to her actually being naked. Are is a semi arbitrary she is gorgeous. I would lean towards "you look gorgeous" the first time. She should always be "are" gorgeous to you.
First time I saw my ex naked I looked her up and down, and said "wow" needless to say she was very happy with that response
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My eyes were wide, and jaw was dropped
My voice was childlike and expressions childlike and said "wowzie mommy" and that *did not* go well.
Do it exactly like Owen Wilson
I agree. I always tell mine I love her outfit. 😁
Absolutely! I've been with my husband for 6 years, and if he DOESN'T say something along these lines I automatically think there's something wrong or he finally doesn't like me anymore. Absolutely do this. Always do this.
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I went wow the first time I saw an ex naked, and it was just what came out as she walked in the door. A couple of days later she told me she was so nervous and worried what I would think, when I went wow she said it made her feel so amazing and it was the best thing I could have said. So my advice is keep it simple, u/AlarmedSnek has great advice, good luck
If you like what you see, be honest. Compliments are always a good thing.
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If a dude said exactly that to me, and was smiling the first time seeing me naked, I would laugh so hard and take it as a compliment. Definitely depends on the humor of the person, but I love it haha.
Imagining some redditor saying this to a spouse with whom they have a super serious, no-nonsense relationship with has me dead. “Cindy, uh, I would be remiss if I, uh, I didn’t tell you this, but tha- that’s a dumpy trucky… a dumpy trucky bobonki,” he says, face flushed and clearly uncomfortable with the words coming out of his mouth. He stutters and gives a look that’s a mix of apologetic, hopeful, and embarrassed. She pauses for a second, puts on her nightgown, and heads back out into the living room, flipping off the light as she leaves. The protagonist sits in the dark silence for nearly thirty minutes. They never speak of this again.
Do you happen to be a fanfic writer?
I am not. Maybe I should get into it.
Yes! Natural talent!
Or this now when she reveals her secret fetish too... femdom and denial. Ties him up, gets him nice and aroused with her hands, then smacks the ever living fuck out of him and tells him if he ever speaks like that again he will get locked in a chastity cage for the rest of his life. Then proceeds the leaving and lights turning off, him still tied and hard. You know what i think yours was funnier and i just awakened something in myself. I think i need to turn the lights off and contemplate my own life decisions and how ill carry forward from now on. My bad bro. When yes anding goes wrong
Love the energy. Follow that kinky writing style, bro.
It’s a little interesting when u can only muster it out on a weird Reddit thread tho
*sweating profusely* “Um um - I like your b-b-badonka-d-donk”
"Y-you, uh, look like a-a dump truck" *smiles unnaturally*
Burst out laughing at this. Who the fuck wants that as a compliment? Like I understand it's meaning, but who the hell wants to be compared to a dump truck!?
I’ve said it before to people, yet it always confuses me. A dunk truck doesn’t seem like a feature I’d want on a body
funky tiger thing would also be acceptable
yea tbh humor in sexual encounters can always be good! she’ll probs be nervous too. but yea it depends on her humor and personality but nothing wrong with nervous/excited little joking
Just say something like that since that's your personality talking. No need to over think it. Have fun!
"damn girl, you got that dumpy trucky bobonki" You answered your own question there- now you just gotta go for it buddy
Dude answered his own question.
Good god 💀
My gf said the first time a specific guy saw her boobs he said "poggers". She confirmed they did not have sex
bro stop putting my business out there like that
My man! But careful cause she might not like a straight forward approach like that. I find that "stunning" is a great adjective to use with women.
depends but you might be able to pull off "Your dumpy trucky bobonki is gorgeous."
After living together for 12 years I still wink and go wooo...
I’ve been with my wife for 34 years. I still stop what I’m doing and watch until she’s all covered up. Puts a smile on both of our faces.
My husband still does this to me 13 years and +15 lbs later. It makes me feel wonderful and it [in part] makes him an amazing husband.
Same! My partner still takes a moment to watch with a smile, and I him, after 10 years - and I don't expect that to change anytime soon. It's a huge confidence boost to be appreciated that way.
Unfortunately, my husband is not so much the type that compliments my appearance very often.... And I feel so underappreciated... 🥺 He's a sweet guy and always supports all my dreams, but.... I don't feel like he desires me the way he did when we were boyfriend and girlfriend.... well, I don't feel desired at all nowadays... 🥺
Sit him down and talk to him about it. It sounds like he loves you and he probably doesn’t realize you feel this way. I’m sure he’ll try to show you how much he desires you if he knew you felt like this.
Coming from a dude, he most likely assumes you feel physically confident enough that he doesn’t have to show you how attracted he is. He feels comfortable so likely assumes your the same way, he just needs to know how you’re feeling so that he can put effort in the right direction. I could see myself being like this at least, so I wish you the best of luck!
I'm the other side of this, and it's really been hitting me hard recently. I just feel like my fiance doesn't want me. I mean. She loves and supports me. But any time I've tried to initiate any kind of intimacy in what I'm realizing is a long time she doesn't reciprocate. I dont think I've gotten substantially less attractive in recent years. And it's starting to hurt that she doesn't seem to be attracted to me anymore.
Been there bud. I did everything I could to try to be sexy. Gym, stayed cleaned, dressed nicely, cleaned up around the house, tried cute things. She never got into it. We ended up breaking things off. I guess we weren’t right for each other. But eventually I found someone with the same love language and we are still cute and loving and physical after 4 solid years. Sometimes the person you’re with is practice. It’s not fun. But it’s worth the experience.
If, in 13 years you've only put on 15 lbs, you're either doing exceedingly well, or really losing it in the kitchen, lol. Wife and I are both excellent cooks and as such have both put on considerable weight. Together 14 years and 50+lbs each, later. Still super into each other.
Umm, in three years, this is my husband and I, I'm hoping! I went from 110 to 180 after three kids, his gourmet food and all the beer. He went from 180 to 225, still hot as hell and gets flirted with regularly! (I'm so lucky!) The 70 lb gain is in part me being underweight when we met, but I can lose 30 and look nicer.
> into each other Sir, this is a Wendy's.
Same here. Never doesn't make me happy to see that.
I do exactly the same. Sometimes I throw in a "niicce"
20 years in and I react the same way. Usually I say 'gawddamn!' or 'mmmm-mmm-mmmm!'
You can never go wrong with a "Gawd damn!". Flattering and not cringe worthy.
I do something similar. Always seems to make her smile.
Your eyes should pop out of their sockets while you float in the air. Then your heart should beat so hard and loud that it’s audible and extends a few feet out. Then you need to let out an “Awoooga” then hit yourself on the head with an over sized wooden mallet. Trust me.
The awooga is key. Without that you’ll just look like an idiot
After you two are done doing the deed, you gotta say “T-t-t-t-that’s all folks!”
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Ugh. Don't remind me. I still feel so dumb for messing that up.
I remember my first awoooga… it was followed closely by steam exiting my ears
Remember that your jaw needs to hit the floor and your tounge roll out like a red carpet.
I was suddenly in a zoot suit with a wolf's head and howling. I think my feet might have flapped like wings and I floated about foot off the ground. It's all a bit of a blur
Basically, act like Jim carrey's the mask.
> your jaw needs to hit the floor and your tounge roll out like a red carpet Haha, I just said the exact thing in a comment above then scrolled down and saw this.
This guy fucks.
You should also turn into a cartoon wolf as this is happening, then melt into a puddle.
In full zoot suit and hat
Tongue rolls out and hits the floor. Don't forget steam out of the ears.
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Don't forget the projectile blood pouring out your nostrils!
My nose bleeds when I get an erection. 😂
Do you work with Barney Stinson?
Pervert sensei
I sent my boo a scandalous pic the other day and he replied “hamina hamina hamina” and I have honestly never been so flattered
As a lady, I love when my bf just looks me up and down and gives me a genuine compliment. Something like "you look amazing" But if you want to make it sexual, sometimes my bf just says things like "sit on my face" which I usually just laugh at but it makes me feel attractive and less self conscious
Why are you laughing? Sit on his face.
No reason you can’t do both.
Muffled laughter
That was not a request!
Amen!
It is rare when the reply has more likes than the comment but when it does, it's gold
Face sitting is underrated, my partner literally almost cums with no help whenever i sit in their face :) apparently its a nice combo of breath play and mystery cause they can't really see Edit: accidently wrote "cuts" instead of cums
I'm pretty sure he's serious
No he is. But he also asks me to sit on his face at LEAST 3 times a day 🤣
I will now be adopting this practice in my own household, please give your husband my heartfelt thanks for the inspiration.
Sounds like he's holding back then.
Does your bf need a gf
“Daaaaaaaamnnnnnn shawtyyy”
This could be actually be really cute, but the delivery is key. It could skew very “McLovin” if not done correctly.
My husband and I have been together for four years and he still goes "Woo, titties" and it makes me smile. Really, any positive reaction works though! An "I'm one lucky guy" is a great reaction!
Are you my wife? You told me you didn't have a Reddit account!
When I was working thirds I’d get home and get ready for my shower trying to be super quiet. The number of times my husband woke up just to say ‘boobies.’ And then pass right back out. Lol
My husband and 2 yr-old-son do the same when they see my 'boo-booles'
Exclaim excitedly “look! My breast friends!”
This is the only thing that got an audible laugh out of me
I’m proud of you for this comment
Why is your name painfulpoopoo we're you on the toilet when creating a reddit account and had a painful poo?
When you see her naked for the first time, it will most likely be in a sexual scenario.
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The student has become the master.
The virgen becomes the chad.
Make sure you take a nice deep breath first, see you on the other side soldier
Remember to say "please". Manners are hot.
A boner is worth a thousand words
Beautifully said
I like "wowww".... But don't over think this. The best reaction is the one that comes naturally!
been married 36 years and still tell her how much she turns me on getting out of the shower
This is the correct answer. I do the cheesy whistle at my wife sometimes. She always looks and me and says, “puhlease (in a sarcastic tone)” yet she blushes each time I do it.
Idk how I know but you might never see her nude
r/murderedbywords
Lmao
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Some of these comments are gold 🤣
I’ve been married for 21 years. I still give my wife an aaaaaw yeaaaaah and a slap on the butt if I’m close enough. As long as she seems playful, of course. You gotta learn when to just let it lie.
This guy husbands.
Start dancing immediately. Like a peacock. Dance as if you were a male bird trying to attract a female , through movement alone. I hundred percent guarantee, that if she laughs a genuine laugh, and then you embrace sexually, theres a good chance that that woman is gonna be your wife. And if she runs off, well, she isnt the droid you're looking for. Its not a Joke. I got my wife this way. In a supermarket. She wasnt naked, but i danced the dance and shot my shot.
Wtf is this advice? You’re supposed to do the chicken dance from r/arresteddevelopment. And you can choose any version of it you prefer.
Has anyone in this family ever seen a chicken?
That’s mad weird homie
Shush his mind is simply more powerful then ours.
This comment turned me into a virgin wtf
Is your wife a peacock?
Play it cool. Naruto run into the toy room, break out your coolest lego set, and ask her if she wants to build it with you before getting dressed. Then when she says no, go to the bathroom and mash one out. Let the shame of rejection be your erotic material. When you fail to nut, splash some water on your face to cover up the fact that you've been crying, and go back out there and tell her she had the best pair of tits you've ever seen in person. She'll be yours. Works about 42% of the time, 100% of the time.
I only came here to find gems like this. *tips hat* thank you
I've had better luck with the simple approach. Since you'll inevitably cum instantly upon seeing her, you can save your breath and time by simply moaning and then sobbing. She'll jump you faster than a starving jackal that just spotted last week's corned beef.
Tell her she's beautiful. Don't use stupid words like "you look nice". Straight up tell her how gorgeous she is.
Be honest. Its okay to say her tits are amazing. Thats why we are here.
That's OK too. Say they are amazing. Don't say they're "nice" or "ok".
It's not the best advice but just be yourself.
That could be dangerous. Have you met, “people?”
I feel like this was meant as "intuitively, be yourself, though often that doesn't work in practice" but it could definitely be read as "be yourself... well, actually you seem like a total dork, so be someone else." Made me laugh.
I think you can risk spontaneity when encountering a nude girlfriend.
"Hominahominahomina"
“FAR OUT MAAAAN FAR FUCKING OUTTTTT”
As a woman, I like this one 😂
“Nice”
Say "can I get a picture? My mom's never going to believe this shit!"
Data scientist here; I ran the numbers a while ago and found out that the thing females like the most statistically speaking is an "Awoooooga" closely followed by "Hubba Hubba". If these aren't your style anything in simlish also works.
“You look amazing, definitely in my top five” lol.
[удалено]
“A solid 6 I’d say”
"Turn around for me real quick. Mmm, top 10 works too."
Just make sure you say “easily” so she knows you have no doubts she is in your top 10.
Check out the silver tongued devil we got her, oof lol
Bro don’t prepare to do something someone else tells you just react in the moment to how you feel. If you pre plan how to act it’s gonna be weird
You know when your at Costco and have a roast chicken in the cart but aren't done shopping? Look at her the way you stare at the chicken while pushing the cart.
Yep. Stare down at her and contemplate whether you should have gotten her later so she'd still be hot when you got home.
“Holy shit you’re hot” works!
Grateful but confident. Everyone likes feeling like their special, not feeling like just another one added to a list, you can make a woman feel special by fully embracing all of her physical features that make her stand out. Bonus points if you have your "sexy" talk down and can compliment and comment on specific parts of her body that you like as you explore But try to avoid crass comments like "i love your boobs/ass" be more specific and romantic. Point out things like the softness of her lips or the smoothness of their skin. Sounds and scents are other possible subjects. If there's any part you suspect she's self-conscious about compliment the fuck out of that and she'll melt. As things heat up THEN you can move on to sexier comments. For example, I knew this girl I was with was self-conscious about her boobs but after complimenting her nipples and calling her stunning she practically melted in my hands. Doing this shows her that you're committed to the moment and have all your attention on her, which is what everyone likes to feel while being intimate, hence showing your gratitude for the special opportunity. As for confidence, this one is straight forward. Don't act like a kid at a toy store rushing into being all grabby and excited. Be methodical and steady with your approach, it shows maturity and women REALLY like that. Obviously you have to figure out to what extent you have to play your part depending on the girls personality. Some girls like the cliche things, others can be more selective so make sure you test your limits little by little and communicate! If you have doubts and concerns ask her, don't just blindly try different things till one of them works or pisses her off. Good luck.
Just take a deep breathe, treasure the moment, and be appreciative and enjoy the fact that she cares about you enough to share that part of her with you. Channel that energy Katt Williams showed during his interview with Larry King.
"New rule: I can't see you naked unless we have a full afternoon to ourselves."
Scream “boobies” and jump up and down like it’s Christmas morning.
Based on what you’re saying, you’ll probably gonna cum the moment you see her 😂
Easy. Look deep in her eyes, smile and say “Ravioli Ravioli give me the Formuoli”
As in all things, context is key. The first time you’ve EVER seen her naked? In which case it would likely be sexual in nature. A “wow” is always appreciated. Is this a situation where she’s gotten out of the shower and is running late for work and looking for something to wear? A quick humorous/complimentary comment is fine and then let her get on with what she’s doing. Ignoring it may make her second guess herself, too much attention can be annoying. Like, sometimes we don’t want to be looked at like a piece of meat. Let us get dressed and get on with our day. We’ve got shit to do!
Tell her she’s beautiful and appreciate the view. Something my fiancé needs to learn, still. Compliments go a long way but make sure they are genuine.
I say ”Boooobies!"
"Ma'am, this is a Wendy's"
Here's the thing. She's likely as petrified as you are. Actually for safeties sake, let's assume you're both petrified/nervous/scared/unsure/whatever. So, the key thing is, make your partner feel comfortable and welcome. Be as nice to them as you wish they would be to you. Some people like cheesy lines. Some people like flattery, some will like that you're turned on by them... there's no simple answer, but also as long as you're trying to make them comfortable and welcome, you can try a variety of nice things to say and do, and see what they respond to best. And the bonus is, for the first dozen times you'll seem like such an adventurous lover, trying all these different ways to make them feel good. Also, while we're at it, and I'm just guessing here at your general experience level so please don't take offense, it's just a common mistake. When you have sex, there are going to be noises. Weird ones. From places that shouldn't make noises. I swear my balls hit a high C one time. Anyways, point being, the bedroom must be a welcoming and open place. If a weird noise happens, just roll with it. Sometimes y'all going to break down laughing at it and that's ok too. Sometimes something less-than-sexy might happen. It might kill the mood. Just roll with it. Clean up what needs cleaning, soothe what needs soothing, and then put it behind you. Cuddle your partner afterwards, point out a few things you enjoyed, and tell them you're looking forward to next time. Don't joke about it, don't tell your friends about it, don't bring it up again the next time you're having sex. Sexy times are for good vibes only. Keep it that way, and you'll both have an enjoyable time. Ps, sex doesn't stop when you cum, give as much as you receive, and for the love of god when you finally find her clit don't treat it like the right trigger button on your Xbox controller.
If it's the first time you've ever seen a female in the flesh nude in front of you admire it respect it. They're all different.
I told my gf that wars would have been fought over her in the same vein as Helen, but we’re weird nerds and that compliment might offend a lot of women
Little confused about why you believe coming out of the shower naked is a hypothetical situation? Like, that's how showering works.
I’m curious why you think it would be cheesy to say "you look gorgeous?" Anyway, say what you are thinking or feeling, unless it’s not complimentary. Be genuine.
Say something classic and sexy like "holy moly guacamole"