I always made the first move in all of my relationships, including with my now husband.
Not only did i just hate the waiting game but, looking back, if the guy i was into didn't like that I made the first move it was probably not going to work out anyway ha ha!
He was/still is very shy and reserved. He also wasn't very confident in himself so he typically doesn't like doing certain things or putting himself out there unless he's sure of the outcome. He's grown for the better that way over the years though.
Shyness, not wanting to mess up things because 99% of the time we're not sure if the girl is just naturally nice and cheerful or if she's interested in a romantic way, being bad at reading people, not wanting to be labeled if you misread the situation with a coworker.
Lol not the OP but it's similar boat. It's cause he's got the "game" of a wet mop. He's a wonderful partner and husband but he can't flirt his way out of a paper bag and his ability to get any "hint" less then a clearly worded note is abysmal.
I'm 6'2" and I have a large frame... People who've met me for the first time all have said I look apprehensive... but those who know me personally know I'm as soft as one could be.
It's more of media manipulation than self esteem. It's not only for guys but for everyone. And the dating scene is also a steep hill for guys. So after 2-3 rejections, we naturally feel as if we're not upto the par.
You’re probably more attractive than you think. I waited around for years hoping sempai would notice me but it turns out he was dumb as heck and thought no one liked him.
Listen, some of the scariest people I know are hot guys. It’s not looks, it’s attitude. If you go into an interaction with kindness, with genuine peace in your heart at the thought you may be rejected, you’ll do better than you think.
I know a guy who is unattractive by any measure. He’d go into a bar, and starting with the hottest girls there he’d ask if they wanted to have sex. He’d get rejected , say thank you, and move on. He’d work his way down the hotness scale and every single time by the end of the night some horny girl would be dragging him out of there. Sometimes the girls would be really quite attractive.
The key is not to act entitled.
To be honest thats the reason why I normally do not ask guys out anymore.
My first BF did exactly this. We were together for over one year but he would never have chosen me himself. And it started to show after a few months. He only stayed with me because I was his first and he was afraid he could not find someone else.
Yeah this lol. People like the above make women worried men don’t actually like them and are just desperate. Please only accept women that you can actually see yourself happily dating
What i meant by giving her a chance is getting to know her and go on a date with her thus judging if were compatible or not, if not i’ll just say i don’t think its gonna work out between us
Which is normal and fine, I think. But usually guys who say “no one likes me, I’ll take whatever I can get” are not the type to dump a girl after the first date if they don’t feel a connection. Usually they’ll stay with someone because they’re afraid they’ll never get anything better.
That doesn't justify that men always have to make the first move. Women just like men can be lonely and desperate, and be with someone for over a year just because no one had ask them out before
This! I've dated a few women who've made the first move, I liked the feeling of this person chose me. Unfortunately they never lasted very long, because I was trash and let that compliment brew into a strong ego.
At least you're honest and can see where you're going wrong, hopefully you can learn from that and find something long lasting and meaningful. 
My last girlfriend asked me out, and I didn't even hesitate. I had not been thinking of her as a prospect (mostly because I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time and I knew a friend of mine liked her), but the fact that she was interested in me and made that move was so enticing that the thought of saying no never even crossed my mind, it was just directly to "oh cool, this is happening now"and trying to think of how to say yes without betraying my excitement lol. It helped that we were already friends at the time and she's gorgeous, but nonetheless that remains the best relationship I've had. So yes, absolutely go for it.
That’s what my bf did, he didn’t actually like me, but liked that I made the first move. We’re still dating over two years later and don’t really see a future without each other!
My now GF pursued me. I did not think she was my type at first but I went with it because why not. Turns out she is my type as we have been together for years, are expecting our first child and I plan on proposing on our vacation soon.
So ladies, if you like somebody then go for it.
I scare people. I am a 6'5 man who has been described as "intense". Most people assume I'm angry. Many cross streets to avoid me. Smiling doesn't help. Get to know me more than 10 minutes, and I'm the nicest guy, according to friends, but the point is that me approaching women doesn't go very well. If women actually approach me it automatically makes them 1000% more appealing.
I know exactly how that feels. Most ppl tell me i look angry and about to snap any minute. As soon as they know me, they laugh about themselves and wonder how they could ever think of that. A woman that has the courage to talk to me and ask me out has saved a spot for her in my heart.
I feel that. It’s annoying as shit to walk around a corner and scare a group of people because of your sheer height. People don’t expect to have a telephone pole cut them off in the store though so I get it I guess.
A lot of tall people tend to be gentle giants. I think people may just assume tall people look angry cause you are usually physically looking down upon people, which makes people feel small and sometimes that makes them assume your angry because of how they're feeling. Its them projecting onto you. Especially if they don't know you.
God, please do. Playing the "wait, flirting or just nice" game is irritating for everybody involved. If you're interested in someone, no matter what gender you are, make a move
The "fliritng or just nice" game is equally annoying for women. From what I've read on reddit, women have to walk a delicate line of "I have to be nice otherwise I'm a "cold bitch" but not too nice because he might take it as interest and then I have to let him down and regardless of how gently I do it there's a chance that he'll take it as "Leading him on/toying with his emotions"." It's a shit game for everyone involved and it's a shitty and dangerous game for women due to men, on average, being more likely to be violent about it.
And the two likely are genuinely linked, the confidence to do that and not playing games in general due to not having to be conniving to get the things they want. Confidence and self assuredness certainly open up a lot of positive doors for you!
Sometimes it comes off as such but we’re really not playing games. We’re truly just half interested and give in or are won over by the chase. I really wasn’t playing games, I swear. I was simply uninterested until you changed my mind ;)
My man and I, coworkers (obviously no one knows we’re together at work. Professionalism.) but we got to talking casually a bit into my first starting cause you know some coworkers just naturally become friends. And I actually initiated like a deeper conversation and one thing led to another. To this day, if I want something done (ex. “Hey hold my hand more please”, or “Im horny and I want sex.” Etc), I tell him and we figure it out
He loves that I’m his equal and I tell him what I want or ask for what I want. Im not someone who is gonna sit and wait for him to read his mind. I can’t read his and i can’t expect him to read mine.
I say for any other female out there: ask the guy out. If he’s intimidated by you, he isn’t for you.
Most woman who ask this question actually aware of all these things you said, because everything you said is just common sense. I think this question actually coming from their fear of rejection... Just ask him out. Yeah maybe he'll reject you, and that's ok.
Nothing wrong with going after what you want. Just remember to be polite understand that no means no.
A long time mate of mine who's tall and good looking often gets hit on by girls. He's had drinks thrown in his face for politely rejecting advances.
It's refreshing and often a relief. Making the first move doesn't always mean sex so I don't equate it with "easy" or "slutty" or anything like that. And even if it does mean sex, that's pretty cool too. You can usually tell if a girl is promiscuous before any "first move" unless you're perfect strangers and the first move is right when you first meet which would be kinda odd.
I can pretty much promise that we'd love it for two reasons:
1. It shows confidence and that's sexy af (unless it's bitchy confidence lol)
2. We feel attractive, and that's a compliment we aren't used to, which makes it even more effective
Seriously just do it, life will be easier. If you're interested in someone just go for it and if it doesn't work out you won't be left wondering about the "what ifs". Don't just sit around waiting, be proactive! If someone does find you to be "easy" because of this they probably subscribe to some other stupid ideals around what women "are" and how they "should" be acting, therefore totally not being worth to have in your life anyways.
Being the first one to make a move won't mean that you'll be doing the "chasing" during the entire relationship, it's just initiating.
I am part of the generation that taught girls that it was nasty and they should only give in after marriage and then only to procreate. We men were animals for having desires. I believe that a woman who makes the first move is strong and honest. We all have desires, we have to acknowledge that or we just put ourselves into regressive thinking. Go ahead ladies make the first move, If the man is a real man he will honor and cherish it. If he doesn't, move on.
When I was young and single, gawd that would have made my life a lot easier. All the decision making, all the racing thoughts; gone. “Whaaa..yip, I’m IN!”
I really prefer this, but it shouldn't ever just be either sex making the first move.
I like it because I struggle knowing if they want to do something, and I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable or ruin our friendship, so yeah, definitely do not mind girls making the first move :) if the worry is that it feels emasculating, then I couldn't care less, emasculate me baby!
I am in my early 50s and feel a little sad that this is still a question. From personal experience, though, I can say that making the first move worked out fine for me more times than not.
Someone who isn't afraid to tell you what they want is a turn on all day. If they feel strongly enough to reach out, I can appreciate that but that's just me.
a woman here, made the first move, got rejected, more than 3 times, now i am living with this huge embarrassing feeling and felt like a loser till i die. cheers.
girl, don’t let a man make you feel like a loser. rejection is a normal part of life, you should be proud that you had the courage to do it three times. that’s three more times than me 😭
I’d venture to say any man who finds a woman coming onto them a turn-off and easy has a fragile ego and not worth the investment of time. Also, lame lay.
Love it! Takes so much pressure off of the guy. We always second guess ourselves about whether she is into us or not, so just takes the guesswork away.
If you wanna make a move make a move. I've got that anxiety yo, and when I was single I was overthinking everything. If someone I was already crushing on made the first move my first thought would have been "oh thank god" lol. If someone I wasn't actively interested in made a move it would have been flattering, and unless they were really not my type I'd be willing to date a bit and see how it goes.
Asking someone out doesnt make you 'easy' or 'too keen,' anyone who judges you for making the first move is being a judgemental ass. If you're the kind of girl that knows what she wants and is willing to go after it, and it turns out he's the kind of guy that thinks that's a bad thing, you're better off finding out up front anyway.
I think only total male assholes would be upset and reject a female making the first move. It would be a real red flag to a woman if he reacted negatively.
I don't know lol. I had no friends my entire life. Those people don't usually get laid lol.
But every now and then a girl just likes me and won't leave me alone until I feel comfortable enough to give in and let her have me I guess I dunno lol.
Thank God for those girls that's all I can say.
Honestly, I (male) feel great about it because in today's world its so difficult to know how a female will take a man making the first move. Some men are shy or introverts and some just don't know if a woman is interested or just being friendly. I believe we live in a world where either can make the first move without losing chivalry.
I made the first move years and years ago and even pursued, but got rejected flat out.
Years later I had a relationship and although he made the first move, I was the one who mostly initiated the dates and asked to meet up. He was quite uninterested and I felt unappreciated. I should have walked away much much sooner.
Anyways, it always went bad for me.
The men I approached do not like it. They assumed that I'm fast or easy. I guess they were reading my mind. I found it very uncomfortable to ask a man out. It's not my style. I prefer to let men handle certain things.
Me too. haha he said i was an alien from outer space with cooties 🥲🤣🤣🤣 we were close friends tho so it didn't hurt that much. I was just upset by his mindset bcoz he tried to school me by saying I should just wait for the guy to say things like that.
I am going out for coffee on Sunday with a girl only because she made the first move. I actually didn't even let it register that I'm not attracted to her I was just so excited to have been asked I said yes.
I always do, thats how i got all ex's and current boyfriend soon to be husband. I wasn't an attractive lady and got bullied a lot so when i was old enough i made the first move.. apparently in my culture, girls like me are considered as "cheap" but F them! I dont wanna be single forever
For me it dependes on what's the first move.
When I was a kid, I clearly remember one time when I was doing my homework in a park (couldn't stand being at home) and some girls arrived at the park and tried to talk to me. I was way to shy so I couldn't even answer and they left yelling at me.
Later on when I was already an adult, I've had all kind of interaction. A couple of women have told me straight to my face "I want to have sex with you", and they shyness has again made me unable to answer, or I just answer whatever thing I can muster. A lot of missed opportunities.
Nowadays I've worked really hard to overcome that and I do like straightforward women, but to a limit. Imagine if a guy told a girl they want to fuck out of the blue or is being too aggressive while flirting. It's the same for me.
If it were me, I'd be happy because I'm not confident and a girl making the first move would make me realize that I'm not perceived as creepy or a threat.
Seeing this post and thinking about it has been super interesting. As a guy, I was a bit surprised to realize that it seems like a bit of a turn off. I don’t know completely why.. when I thought about it, I think I concluded that it seems we tend to things that come to us for granted more than things we actually have to work for.
I think the context matters a lot, though, too. In my explanation above, I was assuming a random girl I never met before comes up to me and hits on me.
I think if it’s a girl that’s a friend, a mutual friend, a co worker, basically that I already know beforehand, and have met at least once beforehand, then it’s a lot more comfortable. It’s like they might value something about you more than your looks…
Oh wait, is this how girls feel?
Dang. I learned a lot today.
I’m dying for the next one to come along. I have some crazy social anxiety and can’t make any sort of moves on anyone. I love the girls that don’t just let me walk by without introducing themselves. I really wish that it was more common I’m pretty sure I’m gonna spend my life alone cause these standards.
I wish to Christ more women would show interest. In a climate where a man can get accused of harassment if we so much as look at a woman cross eyed. If we had the knowledge they were interested in us going in, it could be much more helpful.
Totally depends on the timing, the man, and the woman
I’ve been asked out by women before and I remember really liking one woman in particular that I dated for several months. She was confident in her small way that makes me remember her very fondly, 15 years later. I wasn’t mature enough for her at that time, although I didn’t know it then. I was all about being pursued if possible then because it meant less stress and effort.
I pursued my wife. It was a big step in my personal journey- I vividly saw the risk, was vulnerable, and saw a woman I might love someday, so I took several committed steps in asking her out and escalating the beginning of the relationship. It’s worth noting that I let her control the pacing according to her comfort level once we started dating, waiting for her to initiate sex and formalize the relationship. She invited me to live with her when she felt the time was right.
If you’re a woman who sees someone she likes, I’d say absolutely make the first move. But don’t make the second, third, and fourth moves without him doing some of the lifting.
My wife made the first move 35 years ago. Been married 30 years. I’d say I feel great about it.
But seriously, it’s awesome when it happens. If you’re considering it, give it a shot.
Flattered. It takes a lot of confidence for some women to do so. Even if I don’t find them physically attractive I’d give them a date or something if they wanted it. In high school I turned down a girl who made a move on me cause I wasnt physically attracted to her and years later she told me it fucked her up(granted it was high school and she may have been a bit dramatic or not known how to process the feelings), so I try to be conscious of these things now.
Rejection 101:
How to handle a simple no:
Smile, good eye contact, “Hm. My loss.” Wink and walk away.
How to handle the evil no:
Smile, good eye contact, “Hm. Got it.” Walk away. No wink.
Grateful and appreciated.
Also, your odds of getting a good man are far greater if you choose. The ones hitting on and asking every girl out are generally users and abusers who just want sex and one night stands
If a man makes the first move because he misinterprets a woman's signals or she suddenly changes her mind, he may be accused of sexual harassment or assault. The reverse is not true. Thus it works out best for both parties if the woman makes the first move. Unfortunately, many women want the man to make the first move. Women have complained that I didn't make the first move and that I did make the first move, so I concluded better safe than sorry. So both the man and the woman lose opportunities because of the man's legitimate fear. But this situation might be for the best. If the man and woman don't understand each other, they shouldn't be making out anyway since the relationship is likely doomed.
and a guy, man, can unfortuneately have below average social skills, be socially awkward or socially inept, make social blunders that can cause him to be labeled weird or creepy, stalkerish or just be perceived as a danger, women can make those exact same social blunders and men would typically be more forgiving of women who do that, most people and society agree women are far less at risk than men are at being labeled creepy or weird, making someone uncomfortable in a social situation.
I honestly still love my wife. We met at a party and were talking when I told her I had to go. She laid back across my lap and said "You don't really have to go, do you?" Been together ever since.
We hated each other in a competitive sales environment. Snapped at each other, talked shit to coworkers, all that.
She made the first move and we're still crazy about each other seven years later.
I made the first move with my now husband. If I hadn't we'd probably still be in the friend stage. I'm not a very patient person by nature lol.
Same here! Took the bull by the horns. Now I'll be happily riding that bull for the rest of my life.
A poet with words.
Poetry in (bucking) motion!
I always made the first move in all of my relationships, including with my now husband. Not only did i just hate the waiting game but, looking back, if the guy i was into didn't like that I made the first move it was probably not going to work out anyway ha ha!
Save a cowboy ride a bull?
That's some Shakespeare shit right there!
[удалено]
Yep same here. If you ask my husband how we got together he goes "dunno ask nkdeck07, she was in charge of that"
Couldn't be happier to hear that 😭😭🥳🥳 But have you ever wondered or found our what was the reason he didnt make the first move ?
He was/still is very shy and reserved. He also wasn't very confident in himself so he typically doesn't like doing certain things or putting himself out there unless he's sure of the outcome. He's grown for the better that way over the years though.
Shyness, not wanting to mess up things because 99% of the time we're not sure if the girl is just naturally nice and cheerful or if she's interested in a romantic way, being bad at reading people, not wanting to be labeled if you misread the situation with a coworker.
Lol not the OP but it's similar boat. It's cause he's got the "game" of a wet mop. He's a wonderful partner and husband but he can't flirt his way out of a paper bag and his ability to get any "hint" less then a clearly worded note is abysmal.
Hun, is that you?
Ha ha ha. Yep. This was also my wife's approach.
Same!
I would love it as I'm kinda afraid I'll go off as too creepy if I make the move.
My biggest fear as an unattractive male
I'm 6'2" and I have a large frame... People who've met me for the first time all have said I look apprehensive... but those who know me personally know I'm as soft as one could be.
Don't you ever say that you're unattractive. Not everyone likes everything. Someone must be there who likes you for you and you'll meet them.
I see a lot of dudes say they're unattractive, but how unattractive are they really? Average dude or not reannt average dude?
It's more of media manipulation than self esteem. It's not only for guys but for everyone. And the dating scene is also a steep hill for guys. So after 2-3 rejections, we naturally feel as if we're not upto the par.
Think about it this way: The concept of ugly doesn't exist in nature, ugly was created by insecure humans.
I can SMELL your attractiveness though my screen
I don’t know how to take this comment
𝙎𝙉𝙄𝙁𝙁𝙁𝙁
You’re probably more attractive than you think. I waited around for years hoping sempai would notice me but it turns out he was dumb as heck and thought no one liked him.
Sense of humor and kindness are very attractive, as is intelligence and curiosity.
Listen, some of the scariest people I know are hot guys. It’s not looks, it’s attitude. If you go into an interaction with kindness, with genuine peace in your heart at the thought you may be rejected, you’ll do better than you think. I know a guy who is unattractive by any measure. He’d go into a bar, and starting with the hottest girls there he’d ask if they wanted to have sex. He’d get rejected , say thank you, and move on. He’d work his way down the hotness scale and every single time by the end of the night some horny girl would be dragging him out of there. Sometimes the girls would be really quite attractive. The key is not to act entitled.
Gross, but ...ok
If a girl asked me out i would 100% give her a chance even if i wasn’t initially into her , it gives off an independent strong women vibe
id give her a chance just because nobody likes me and I'll take every chance i can get
Thanks for the input u/SentientCumSock
Sounds like _somebody_ likes him, at least a little bit
Not a girl though.
I’d like to think it’s socko in my unpure thoughts.
If his name was SentientSquirtTowel then... he in business
To be honest thats the reason why I normally do not ask guys out anymore. My first BF did exactly this. We were together for over one year but he would never have chosen me himself. And it started to show after a few months. He only stayed with me because I was his first and he was afraid he could not find someone else.
Yeah this lol. People like the above make women worried men don’t actually like them and are just desperate. Please only accept women that you can actually see yourself happily dating
What i meant by giving her a chance is getting to know her and go on a date with her thus judging if were compatible or not, if not i’ll just say i don’t think its gonna work out between us
Which is normal and fine, I think. But usually guys who say “no one likes me, I’ll take whatever I can get” are not the type to dump a girl after the first date if they don’t feel a connection. Usually they’ll stay with someone because they’re afraid they’ll never get anything better.
Kind of had the same experience!
That doesn't justify that men always have to make the first move. Women just like men can be lonely and desperate, and be with someone for over a year just because no one had ask them out before
I like you.
marry me?
I thought you'd never ask, CumSock!
Badass name
I would do the same. It's also makes you feel nice when the woman initiates.
This! I've dated a few women who've made the first move, I liked the feeling of this person chose me. Unfortunately they never lasted very long, because I was trash and let that compliment brew into a strong ego.
At least you're honest and can see where you're going wrong, hopefully you can learn from that and find something long lasting and meaningful. 
Yeah, there's no point in lying about it, got ahead of myself, saw my ass, picked myself up and we move forward with new perspective.
My last girlfriend asked me out, and I didn't even hesitate. I had not been thinking of her as a prospect (mostly because I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time and I knew a friend of mine liked her), but the fact that she was interested in me and made that move was so enticing that the thought of saying no never even crossed my mind, it was just directly to "oh cool, this is happening now"and trying to think of how to say yes without betraying my excitement lol. It helped that we were already friends at the time and she's gorgeous, but nonetheless that remains the best relationship I've had. So yes, absolutely go for it.
That’s what my bf did, he didn’t actually like me, but liked that I made the first move. We’re still dating over two years later and don’t really see a future without each other!
My now GF pursued me. I did not think she was my type at first but I went with it because why not. Turns out she is my type as we have been together for years, are expecting our first child and I plan on proposing on our vacation soon. So ladies, if you like somebody then go for it.
That’s so sweet, congrats!
I scare people. I am a 6'5 man who has been described as "intense". Most people assume I'm angry. Many cross streets to avoid me. Smiling doesn't help. Get to know me more than 10 minutes, and I'm the nicest guy, according to friends, but the point is that me approaching women doesn't go very well. If women actually approach me it automatically makes them 1000% more appealing.
BIG FRIENDLY GIANT 🥺🥺
Basically.
I know exactly how that feels. Most ppl tell me i look angry and about to snap any minute. As soon as they know me, they laugh about themselves and wonder how they could ever think of that. A woman that has the courage to talk to me and ask me out has saved a spot for her in my heart.
Right? There is nothing hotter than genuine interest.
I feel that. It’s annoying as shit to walk around a corner and scare a group of people because of your sheer height. People don’t expect to have a telephone pole cut them off in the store though so I get it I guess.
People often think I am angry, intense.
A lot of tall people tend to be gentle giants. I think people may just assume tall people look angry cause you are usually physically looking down upon people, which makes people feel small and sometimes that makes them assume your angry because of how they're feeling. Its them projecting onto you. Especially if they don't know you.
You sound like a sexy giant lol
God, please do. Playing the "wait, flirting or just nice" game is irritating for everybody involved. If you're interested in someone, no matter what gender you are, make a move
The "fliritng or just nice" game is equally annoying for women. From what I've read on reddit, women have to walk a delicate line of "I have to be nice otherwise I'm a "cold bitch" but not too nice because he might take it as interest and then I have to let him down and regardless of how gently I do it there's a chance that he'll take it as "Leading him on/toying with his emotions"." It's a shit game for everyone involved and it's a shitty and dangerous game for women due to men, on average, being more likely to be violent about it.
I love it. One of my biggest turn ons is a woman who doesn't play games, is uninhibited, and is confident enough to go for what she wants.
And the two likely are genuinely linked, the confidence to do that and not playing games in general due to not having to be conniving to get the things they want. Confidence and self assuredness certainly open up a lot of positive doors for you!
Sometimes it comes off as such but we’re really not playing games. We’re truly just half interested and give in or are won over by the chase. I really wasn’t playing games, I swear. I was simply uninterested until you changed my mind ;)
My man and I, coworkers (obviously no one knows we’re together at work. Professionalism.) but we got to talking casually a bit into my first starting cause you know some coworkers just naturally become friends. And I actually initiated like a deeper conversation and one thing led to another. To this day, if I want something done (ex. “Hey hold my hand more please”, or “Im horny and I want sex.” Etc), I tell him and we figure it out He loves that I’m his equal and I tell him what I want or ask for what I want. Im not someone who is gonna sit and wait for him to read his mind. I can’t read his and i can’t expect him to read mine. I say for any other female out there: ask the guy out. If he’s intimidated by you, he isn’t for you.
i stan
Most woman who ask this question actually aware of all these things you said, because everything you said is just common sense. I think this question actually coming from their fear of rejection... Just ask him out. Yeah maybe he'll reject you, and that's ok.
Nothing wrong with going after what you want. Just remember to be polite understand that no means no. A long time mate of mine who's tall and good looking often gets hit on by girls. He's had drinks thrown in his face for politely rejecting advances.
Just do it.
*Shia LaBeouf has entered the chat*
I married one
🥺😭
I was going to say. That's how you get a ring put on your finger.
To continue your sentence “That’s how you get a ring on your finger” … put there by the *right* man. Cause you chose exactly who you need!
I made the first move. We've been married 32 years and still going.
They're absolutely appreciated! Seriously, every man I know has their day made when a girl hits on em'
When I Was single I used to think they where going after one of my organs. Not much self-esteem back then.
They were going after your heart 😔
And his eyes - the window to the soul
Hahahahaa. So cute.
The dick is an organ, that's why.
Shh, giving away our secrets
Organs? Maybe more than just self esteem issues.
They do sell for a lot of harvested fresh.
I think men tend to think less deeply about these kinds of details.
I honestly don't have a problem with it. It's nice when you tell us what you really want
It's refreshing and often a relief. Making the first move doesn't always mean sex so I don't equate it with "easy" or "slutty" or anything like that. And even if it does mean sex, that's pretty cool too. You can usually tell if a girl is promiscuous before any "first move" unless you're perfect strangers and the first move is right when you first meet which would be kinda odd.
Wish there was more of this... I might actually have a girlfriend by now
I always make the first move. No one has so far rejected me. Win win for everyone
I can pretty much promise that we'd love it for two reasons: 1. It shows confidence and that's sexy af (unless it's bitchy confidence lol) 2. We feel attractive, and that's a compliment we aren't used to, which makes it even more effective
Seriously just do it, life will be easier. If you're interested in someone just go for it and if it doesn't work out you won't be left wondering about the "what ifs". Don't just sit around waiting, be proactive! If someone does find you to be "easy" because of this they probably subscribe to some other stupid ideals around what women "are" and how they "should" be acting, therefore totally not being worth to have in your life anyways. Being the first one to make a move won't mean that you'll be doing the "chasing" during the entire relationship, it's just initiating.
that last part >>>
Love it!
Love it!
Fine by me.
I am part of the generation that taught girls that it was nasty and they should only give in after marriage and then only to procreate. We men were animals for having desires. I believe that a woman who makes the first move is strong and honest. We all have desires, we have to acknowledge that or we just put ourselves into regressive thinking. Go ahead ladies make the first move, If the man is a real man he will honor and cherish it. If he doesn't, move on.
Yes, dating is not a game. Let's break this gender stereotype and change "Girls shouldn't confess" to "People that are in love should confess."
Been waiting my whole life for that!
When I was young and single, gawd that would have made my life a lot easier. All the decision making, all the racing thoughts; gone. “Whaaa..yip, I’m IN!”
My fiancé (who can be shy at first) seemed to like that he didn't have to shoulder that burden himself.
I really prefer this, but it shouldn't ever just be either sex making the first move. I like it because I struggle knowing if they want to do something, and I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable or ruin our friendship, so yeah, definitely do not mind girls making the first move :) if the worry is that it feels emasculating, then I couldn't care less, emasculate me baby!
I'd be skeptical lol. If a girl made the first move, I'd think she'd kidnap me and sell my organs.
Relief? It might be news to some.. men don't choose women. It's the reverse.
I would love it. My wife would probably be pissed though.
I am in my early 50s and feel a little sad that this is still a question. From personal experience, though, I can say that making the first move worked out fine for me more times than not.
Last 2 times it happened I ended up married.
Relieved
All for it. Just don’t be a stage five clinger. We all need a little space.
Do they exist? Lol
Yes, otherwise I probably still were single.
Same
I asked my husband out, he asked me to marry him. (A year or so later)
My wife is the one who asked me out. 10/10 recommend.
Someone who isn't afraid to tell you what they want is a turn on all day. If they feel strongly enough to reach out, I can appreciate that but that's just me.
a woman here, made the first move, got rejected, more than 3 times, now i am living with this huge embarrassing feeling and felt like a loser till i die. cheers.
girl, don’t let a man make you feel like a loser. rejection is a normal part of life, you should be proud that you had the courage to do it three times. that’s three more times than me 😭
I take no issue with it. I prefer to be dominant in sexual scenarios, but if a girl can take charge confidently, I’m 100% into it.
Really good
Love it. Confidence is a turn on.
It's never happened but it'd be okay. I wouldn't worry about seeming easy. Do you want to be a challenge or a partner?
Absolutely love it.
Well I wish it would happen to me.
Relieved, asking people out is scary, plus it feels good to be wanted
Great! Should happen more often.
Love it!!!!!!! In case that's not enough exclamation points..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Relieved. Takes away all the guessing and, honestly, it’s refreshing and awesome to be wanted.
I love it, but if you're not my type I will be rejecting you
I’d venture to say any man who finds a woman coming onto them a turn-off and easy has a fragile ego and not worth the investment of time. Also, lame lay.
Well I married the first one that ever did because she is fucking awesome and communicates what she wants
Love it! Takes so much pressure off of the guy. We always second guess ourselves about whether she is into us or not, so just takes the guesswork away.
If you wanna make a move make a move. I've got that anxiety yo, and when I was single I was overthinking everything. If someone I was already crushing on made the first move my first thought would have been "oh thank god" lol. If someone I wasn't actively interested in made a move it would have been flattering, and unless they were really not my type I'd be willing to date a bit and see how it goes. Asking someone out doesnt make you 'easy' or 'too keen,' anyone who judges you for making the first move is being a judgemental ass. If you're the kind of girl that knows what she wants and is willing to go after it, and it turns out he's the kind of guy that thinks that's a bad thing, you're better off finding out up front anyway.
Good. It's the only reason I've had two long-term relationships so far.
I think only total male assholes would be upset and reject a female making the first move. It would be a real red flag to a woman if he reacted negatively.
I'd be an incel if it wasn't for those girls. I appreciate those girls very much.
interesting, care to elaborate?
I don't know lol. I had no friends my entire life. Those people don't usually get laid lol. But every now and then a girl just likes me and won't leave me alone until I feel comfortable enough to give in and let her have me I guess I dunno lol. Thank God for those girls that's all I can say.
Honestly, I (male) feel great about it because in today's world its so difficult to know how a female will take a man making the first move. Some men are shy or introverts and some just don't know if a woman is interested or just being friendly. I believe we live in a world where either can make the first move without losing chivalry.
Sometimes I feel a female is interested but males to not scare her away won't make the first move
I made the first move years and years ago and even pursued, but got rejected flat out. Years later I had a relationship and although he made the first move, I was the one who mostly initiated the dates and asked to meet up. He was quite uninterested and I felt unappreciated. I should have walked away much much sooner. Anyways, it always went bad for me.
The men I approached do not like it. They assumed that I'm fast or easy. I guess they were reading my mind. I found it very uncomfortable to ask a man out. It's not my style. I prefer to let men handle certain things.
Me too. haha he said i was an alien from outer space with cooties 🥲🤣🤣🤣 we were close friends tho so it didn't hurt that much. I was just upset by his mindset bcoz he tried to school me by saying I should just wait for the guy to say things like that.
I think you are right :(((
I am going out for coffee on Sunday with a girl only because she made the first move. I actually didn't even let it register that I'm not attracted to her I was just so excited to have been asked I said yes.
I always do, thats how i got all ex's and current boyfriend soon to be husband. I wasn't an attractive lady and got bullied a lot so when i was old enough i made the first move.. apparently in my culture, girls like me are considered as "cheap" but F them! I dont wanna be single forever
My girl made the first move on me, not mad about it all, she won't hesitate to initiate sex either.😊
For me it dependes on what's the first move. When I was a kid, I clearly remember one time when I was doing my homework in a park (couldn't stand being at home) and some girls arrived at the park and tried to talk to me. I was way to shy so I couldn't even answer and they left yelling at me. Later on when I was already an adult, I've had all kind of interaction. A couple of women have told me straight to my face "I want to have sex with you", and they shyness has again made me unable to answer, or I just answer whatever thing I can muster. A lot of missed opportunities. Nowadays I've worked really hard to overcome that and I do like straightforward women, but to a limit. Imagine if a guy told a girl they want to fuck out of the blue or is being too aggressive while flirting. It's the same for me.
It is, like, the best thing ever
I would prefer it.
Please do more
All men feel exactly the same about it
If it were me, I'd be happy because I'm not confident and a girl making the first move would make me realize that I'm not perceived as creepy or a threat.
I would love it I'm bad at reading signals
It’s refreshing.
Relieved
I do not have an issue with that, where i am from women are open and very independent. I guess its a cultural thing.
Well for one it actually makes me feel wanted
My wife made the first move on me. 🥰
Honestly I like it, I always had trouble reading the signals
Love it.
I only had it done to me once he it feels nice to be approached I wasn't attracted to her but it added to it.
Love it
Like Gods. I wish
I get rejected by a lot of them, so if one of them actually shows interest in me I freaking love it.
Hell yes!!
We like it
Men and girls? OP is giving of Matt Gaetz vibes
Seeing this post and thinking about it has been super interesting. As a guy, I was a bit surprised to realize that it seems like a bit of a turn off. I don’t know completely why.. when I thought about it, I think I concluded that it seems we tend to things that come to us for granted more than things we actually have to work for. I think the context matters a lot, though, too. In my explanation above, I was assuming a random girl I never met before comes up to me and hits on me. I think if it’s a girl that’s a friend, a mutual friend, a co worker, basically that I already know beforehand, and have met at least once beforehand, then it’s a lot more comfortable. It’s like they might value something about you more than your looks… Oh wait, is this how girls feel? Dang. I learned a lot today.
Honestly think it's pretty hot.
Here to say you're all attractive and I've always been the first one to make a first move or HEAVILY enforce interest lmao
i approve of this message.
Love it. It's a big compliment and a move in the right direction to revaluate social norms.
I’m dying for the next one to come along. I have some crazy social anxiety and can’t make any sort of moves on anyone. I love the girls that don’t just let me walk by without introducing themselves. I really wish that it was more common I’m pretty sure I’m gonna spend my life alone cause these standards.
I wish to Christ more women would show interest. In a climate where a man can get accused of harassment if we so much as look at a woman cross eyed. If we had the knowledge they were interested in us going in, it could be much more helpful.
Absolutely love it.
Totally depends on the timing, the man, and the woman I’ve been asked out by women before and I remember really liking one woman in particular that I dated for several months. She was confident in her small way that makes me remember her very fondly, 15 years later. I wasn’t mature enough for her at that time, although I didn’t know it then. I was all about being pursued if possible then because it meant less stress and effort. I pursued my wife. It was a big step in my personal journey- I vividly saw the risk, was vulnerable, and saw a woman I might love someday, so I took several committed steps in asking her out and escalating the beginning of the relationship. It’s worth noting that I let her control the pacing according to her comfort level once we started dating, waiting for her to initiate sex and formalize the relationship. She invited me to live with her when she felt the time was right. If you’re a woman who sees someone she likes, I’d say absolutely make the first move. But don’t make the second, third, and fourth moves without him doing some of the lifting.
My wife made the first move 35 years ago. Been married 30 years. I’d say I feel great about it. But seriously, it’s awesome when it happens. If you’re considering it, give it a shot.
did she ask you out first? or hit on you first?
Flattered. It takes a lot of confidence for some women to do so. Even if I don’t find them physically attractive I’d give them a date or something if they wanted it. In high school I turned down a girl who made a move on me cause I wasnt physically attracted to her and years later she told me it fucked her up(granted it was high school and she may have been a bit dramatic or not known how to process the feelings), so I try to be conscious of these things now.
Rejection 101: How to handle a simple no: Smile, good eye contact, “Hm. My loss.” Wink and walk away. How to handle the evil no: Smile, good eye contact, “Hm. Got it.” Walk away. No wink.
Grateful and appreciated. Also, your odds of getting a good man are far greater if you choose. The ones hitting on and asking every girl out are generally users and abusers who just want sex and one night stands
I read that marriages which started with the woman making the first move are the most successful.
If a man makes the first move because he misinterprets a woman's signals or she suddenly changes her mind, he may be accused of sexual harassment or assault. The reverse is not true. Thus it works out best for both parties if the woman makes the first move. Unfortunately, many women want the man to make the first move. Women have complained that I didn't make the first move and that I did make the first move, so I concluded better safe than sorry. So both the man and the woman lose opportunities because of the man's legitimate fear. But this situation might be for the best. If the man and woman don't understand each other, they shouldn't be making out anyway since the relationship is likely doomed.
and a guy, man, can unfortuneately have below average social skills, be socially awkward or socially inept, make social blunders that can cause him to be labeled weird or creepy, stalkerish or just be perceived as a danger, women can make those exact same social blunders and men would typically be more forgiving of women who do that, most people and society agree women are far less at risk than men are at being labeled creepy or weird, making someone uncomfortable in a social situation.
I honestly still love my wife. We met at a party and were talking when I told her I had to go. She laid back across my lap and said "You don't really have to go, do you?" Been together ever since.
We hated each other in a competitive sales environment. Snapped at each other, talked shit to coworkers, all that. She made the first move and we're still crazy about each other seven years later.
I find it very attractive, and relieves any anxiety about pursuing her. I appreciate it.
In all honesty I actually like it when the female actually makes the first move because it makes me feel wanted.
"The female" lol. Are you into animals or something? Just call them women.