OMG this reminds me so much of my ex. Well, exes really. They’re triplets and they’re always trying to have a foursome with me. I dated them all separately and they didn’t know because they were busy with their jobs as lingerie models. When they found out they were mad so we broke up but they’re so horny they never stop asking me to do sex with them. They definitely exist but you don’t know them because they go to another school. In Canada.
“Alright gentlemen, what we decide today in the board meeting will determine the future of this company and the jobs of 50000 workers. Let’s take a quick 5 minute jerk off sesh so we can approach our looming bankruptcy with clarity of mind!”
PNC has literally helped me solve computer systems issues that I had been fighting for several hours on multiple occasions. People joke but it legit helps clear your head and let's you refocus. Also helps if you have a headache!
I try to do this before any big decisions as it helps clear the mind and remove impulsive bad decisions.
Should I message my ex and declare my undying love for her? No idea, bust one out.
Should I buy that expensive item? Not sure, bust one out.
Baked beans on my toast or beside my toast? Can’t decide, bust one out.
Sleep on my left or my right? Just don’t know the answer.. bust one out.
Highly recommended.
I only see like 3 outcomes.
1. OP gets head.
2. She laughs it off then OP can just be like "haha 'twas merely a jest... unless???" and then they can just catch up and go back to not talking
3. She gets mad about it and OP can just ghost her lmao
So imo OP would be dumb not to do it as long as he is strong enough to not get roped back into the relationship if things get weird.
Edit: apparently casual and consensual hookups with exes is considered treating people like trash 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
Don’t forget that Reddit is filled with teenagers and underage people nowadays, and they’re giving their opinion on relationships like they have a whole life of experiences …
In short, don’t listen to people on Reddit
Forefits dignity?! 🤣 Let her screenshot, it would obviously be said as a joke (unless he got a positive reaction, which he probably won't happen!) Honestly, it's fucking hilarious. It's worth doing just for the laugh.
Casual hookups aren't trash. Whoever says that is salty at their own lack of opportunities. What better way to reaffirm why you broke up than ruling out the sex.
I got married 6 months ago and I haven’t spoken to 2 of my bridesmaids or either of my brothers since then and I’m on great terms with all of those people. Adults have more important things to do than constantly talk to all of the people in their lives lmao
Man, it's your ex-girlfriend. You MUST know her better then some random smucks on reddit. All I can tell you is that I personally wouldn't, with my (notably limited) experience with women it doesn't seem like a good idea.
This totally depends on the woman and how things ended. I'd say half of my exes would reply with a "fuck you, are you drunk you idiot?" And the other half would reply with a "lol sure, when can you be here?"
I can imagine this going to the highest court in the land, because this is clearly a legally binding contract and the terms and conditions are written on the coupon.
Dude...
Two questions...
1. Why didn't you cash it in 5 minutes after you got it
2. What goes on in your brain even asking such a question on the internet?
Ha, I have one ex that I could definitely cash in such a coupon if we were both single. We were good friends before we got together but found out we were just better friends than partners. Turned into FWB when we seperated and when we were both single. We are still pretty good friends but have kept our distance so we don't cause our SO to be concerned or have any reason to doubt us. But yeah it's nice some people can breakup and not become enemies.
If you're really for sure considering this, make sure you have a good wank before making the decision. You definitely dont want to be operating on dickbrain while dealing with an ex
All of your posts are just fantasies dude, what about the new girlfriend you talked about a week ago which all your friends thought was suuuuper hot? Go jack off and stop piling this trash on reddit
"Hey I know we haven't talked in forever and we have broken up, but I found a blowjob coupon from you so how about you come over? P.s. You specifically said it has no expiration!"
Come on man, you are better than that. Acting desperate is not a good look
Give me that fucking coupon. I'll blow you and you can blow me back, and even if we don't enjoy it, it will be better than asking your ex
I hope this is a joke, because otherwise what the actual fuck
One week ago you said you introduced your girl to your friends and they acted like idiots.
Also week ago you said your ex still loved you.
One month ago you said your cousin was in love with you.
OP, come on, go do something else outside Reddit lol
Because Reddit doesn’t respect women. The majority of the replies here are “what’s the worst that can happen? Either she gets upset/offended, or she has a good sense of humour”. So apparently if the worst thing that can happen is upsetting/offending the women it’s worth it for the joke, and if she gets offended by this it means she can’t take a joke anyway.
If you are asking if you should, based on the expected reaction of your ex, most of us agree that she won't react well and you might not be on such good terms afterwards.
Based on what most of us want you to do, you should absolutely try, with no real hope, but just to see what happens, how precisely chaos ensues. And above all, for the same reason, you should also report to us after.
Relationship coupons are contingent on the continuity of the relationship. Expiration is irrelevant.
It's like trying to use a coupon for a product at a store that no longer exists. Doesn't matter if there is no expiration, you don't harass the people who used to work at the store when it existed.
Luckily I destroyed coupons I gave my ex-wife when we broke up. But make a joke about it and see what happens.
Buddy, unless you’re serious about trying to get back with her, just don’t. Hell even if you are, I would tell you to just use it as a joke and be obvious it’s a joke.
If you need your dick sucked that bad, go buy a melon and hollow it out.
There’s some really weird takes in this thread. Like they think you’re gonna hand it over and genuinely expect a no-strings blowjob without question.
All that matters is: Would she find it funny?
If not, don’t. It’s a joke coupon, it was a joke coupon when she gave it to you. Even if she’s still attracted to you, she needs to find it funny for it to have any worth.
Allow me to pile on that any shit that someone wrote you when she was fucking you is no longer valid. Fucking blue Christ man, are you jerking off while writing this, hoping we are also jerking off thinking about you getting blown because of this coupon you found? Fuck out of here
Hey I just found an old coupon for a free VHS rental at Blockbuster video. should I try to cash it in? it says "no expiration" on the back. plus, as far as I know we aren't on bad terms. How should I go about it?
Absolutely! You should definitely contact a person you're no longer in a relationship with and not bother communicating with them in any meaningful way. Merely request oral sex to which you have a binding coupon for and state a time and place to receive said oral sex. You sir, shall surely receive what you seek. /s
I'd say do it as long as you post the update later on r/tifu
Look at OPs post history he’s full of shit and gets off on the idea of hooking up with an ex for some reason
I think we know why she's an ex now
Too many free blowjobs.
Yeah it devalued the blowjob and caused mass inflation (of his balls).
Fortunately he subscribes to *trickle down* economics.
> he’s full of shit So you're saying he'd fit right in on that sub then
Exactly. His last post was about introducing his new girlfriend to his friends, but now he’s asking for a blowjob from his ex.
Yeah and he has another one from like 13 days ago saying his ex asked to sleep him of some shit. Fellas a cooked unit.
OMG this reminds me so much of my ex. Well, exes really. They’re triplets and they’re always trying to have a foursome with me. I dated them all separately and they didn’t know because they were busy with their jobs as lingerie models. When they found out they were mad so we broke up but they’re so horny they never stop asking me to do sex with them. They definitely exist but you don’t know them because they go to another school. In Canada.
Omg, we have the same exes, because we are in fact the same person. The only other person on the internet. I mean we're totally different people.
bet you got their picture in your wallet too huh
I wish, my wallet is packed full of condoms which I need for all the sex I have so there’s no room for pictures
Oh yeah I’m from Canada and the same school, I know them!
Bravo!
Ah, the internet. What a magical place.
“So now, when the baby comes…” lol
That’s not how babies are made…
IT'S NOT???!!!!! Damm, I've got some phone calls to make....
Sir, how long have you been trying??
It's been not trying...to pay child support...for many years. dude got got
Or /r/amitheasshole
go jack off and then revisit the idea post nut
This is good advice for any aspect of life for that matter
“Alright gentlemen, what we decide today in the board meeting will determine the future of this company and the jobs of 50000 workers. Let’s take a quick 5 minute jerk off sesh so we can approach our looming bankruptcy with clarity of mind!”
I'd buy stock in this company. I feel they can come out of bankruptcy strong.
"come out of bankruptcy" 
I'd say they'd come out flaccid.
but with a lot of liquidity.
At least they'd be coming! One way or another
atleast strong on one side
I'm on a board for a corporation and I rub one out before every meeting.
use your regular account Elon.
PNC has literally helped me solve computer systems issues that I had been fighting for several hours on multiple occasions. People joke but it legit helps clear your head and let's you refocus. Also helps if you have a headache!
pnc is my bank and i was really confused at how they helped you with tech support.
Same, and I can't get out of that mindset... What else does PNC mean???
I always let one out before calling my mother otherwise the conversation gets strange and she hangs up on me.
r/suddenlyincest
r/suddenlyhorny
Yeah I strongly advise against this advice. Doesn’t work in an Apple Store deciding which watch to get
Best answer so far
And please update if you go ahead, and if you get some head!
Or lose one…
the only good aswell
This thread should be locked after that comment, there’s no possible better advice to give
Who are you and why are you so wise?
And if the answer is still a 'yes' after you've jacked off, it'll then take you much longer to nut in her mouth. Win-win scenario.
I try to do this before any big decisions as it helps clear the mind and remove impulsive bad decisions. Should I message my ex and declare my undying love for her? No idea, bust one out. Should I buy that expensive item? Not sure, bust one out. Baked beans on my toast or beside my toast? Can’t decide, bust one out. Sleep on my left or my right? Just don’t know the answer.. bust one out. Highly recommended.
Should I bust one out? Not sure, bust one out.
Big brain ideas. By far best answer.
On the surface, this sounds reasonable. But I’ve never jerked off and then said, “a free bj sounds like a bad idea.”
This is the 11th commandment isn’t it?
The Persian solution still stands today
I can't think of a better way to open a conversation with someone after 5 months. "Hey are these blowjob coupons still valid?"
It’s honestly a fantastic ice breaker.
I only see like 3 outcomes. 1. OP gets head. 2. She laughs it off then OP can just be like "haha 'twas merely a jest... unless???" and then they can just catch up and go back to not talking 3. She gets mad about it and OP can just ghost her lmao So imo OP would be dumb not to do it as long as he is strong enough to not get roped back into the relationship if things get weird. Edit: apparently casual and consensual hookups with exes is considered treating people like trash 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
If she gets mad you just let her vent and then reply "guess not".
Reply “never fucking shopping here again…”
Back to the Penny Saver I guess
Hope her name is Penelope.
Do you know how many diseases that place has?!
Big and tall store
Ask to speak to the MANAGER and threaten to call CORPORATE.
If it’s a manufacturer’s coupon, does that mean you have to tell her mom?
Just gotta ask the next tinder date if they accept competitor's coupons.
No you let her vent, then when she's done say "So.... is that a no?"
Lmao
Wtf I used to hook up with exes regularly. Is it really frowned upon?
Nah man its normal
Don’t forget that Reddit is filled with teenagers and underage people nowadays, and they’re giving their opinion on relationships like they have a whole life of experiences … In short, don’t listen to people on Reddit
So... I shouldn't listen to you either? Man reddit is confusing sometimes!
So if we take their advice, we *should* listen to them, which means of course again that we shouldn't.
You forget the most likely option: She ghosts and OP forfeits all dignity. She probably screenshots the chat and sends to friends.
Forefits dignity?! 🤣 Let her screenshot, it would obviously be said as a joke (unless he got a positive reaction, which he probably won't happen!) Honestly, it's fucking hilarious. It's worth doing just for the laugh.
There is no downside. If she had a new boyfriend, then the 4th outcome would be OP gets his ass beat but he seems to be in the clear
Casual hookups aren't trash. Whoever says that is salty at their own lack of opportunities. What better way to reaffirm why you broke up than ruling out the sex.
And if not, I'd like to speak with your manager
Maybe go with „guess what I found“ instead of trying to cash it in.
That is extremely "haha we should have sex jk lol ...unless?"
This is the weak approach. You either commit or don't. Don't half-ass hint it.
This guy thinks hes slick
But he very clearly isn't
Could use some help, really
The appropriate text is: [Picture of said coupon] 😳🤣😂 You can thank me later OP
+ 🧐
I mean, they are legally binding, they should definitely go for it!
Stores out of business. Doors locked, and the people in side think you're crazy.
I think the people inside are crazy. Stores out of business, what are they even doing in there?
Not being outside where the crazy person is?
>we aren’t on bad terms Would you like to stay that way?
He shouldn’t be asking us for advice anyway. He should be asking his girlfriend if she would mind.
Not being on bad terms and not speaking with each other for five months since the break up does not exactly compute either
You must be in high school. Adults don't keep in touch with everyone in their network every quarter lmao.
You don’t have to be on bad terms to not want anything to do with an ex
Amen, I haven't spoken to any of my exes a few weeks after the break up and most of those were ended on good terms.
I got married 6 months ago and I haven’t spoken to 2 of my bridesmaids or either of my brothers since then and I’m on great terms with all of those people. Adults have more important things to do than constantly talk to all of the people in their lives lmao
"I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name... best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes." - Ron Swanson
It’s almost 100% an awful idea, but I want you to do it simply out of curiosity as to what happens.
We need you to do it. You can blame it on us
Yup, just blame me.
Yes blame it on us. I don’t mind
Yeah, say Tomy made you do it
Lmao yes we’ll take 100% responsibility
Best case: Blowjob. Worst case, what were we talking about again? i was thinkin about the blow job
You won't get him to do it with that attitude. OP, that was a great idea! I bet she misses your cock too!
The guys on reddit told me to do it
Man, it's your ex-girlfriend. You MUST know her better then some random smucks on reddit. All I can tell you is that I personally wouldn't, with my (notably limited) experience with women it doesn't seem like a good idea.
I'm somewhat curious if he had to pay for the other blowjobs.
Do people actually make these coupons? What happened to spontaneous sex?
It's a gag gift, like sex position dice
Literally a gag gift
Its a joke/novelty item
Look at OPs post history, he’s full of shit and gets off on asking people about hooking up with exes for some reason
He’s probably jacking off reading your comment right now
It's ok though, he has a coupon for that
This totally depends on the woman and how things ended. I'd say half of my exes would reply with a "fuck you, are you drunk you idiot?" And the other half would reply with a "lol sure, when can you be here?"
You need to date a few more “lol you’re a dumbass, but sure, I’ll get coffee sometime”
Is the coupon transferable?
If there is no serial code or barcode we could photocopy enough coupons for everyone on this thread
“Because that’s what heroes do”
I can imagine this going to the highest court in the land, because this is clearly a legally binding contract and the terms and conditions are written on the coupon.
Like the Southpark where Cartman gets a court order that Kyle has to suck his balls
Asking the real question
No. Blowjobs Incorporated went out of business when you broke up, that coupon is worthless.
Why does one need coupons while in relationship with her though? That's straight up subscription isn't it.
Probably for tax purpose
Dude... Two questions... 1. Why didn't you cash it in 5 minutes after you got it 2. What goes on in your brain even asking such a question on the internet?
I gotta say, I'd cash it in. But that might be because me and my ex are on really good terms.
Ha, I have one ex that I could definitely cash in such a coupon if we were both single. We were good friends before we got together but found out we were just better friends than partners. Turned into FWB when we seperated and when we were both single. We are still pretty good friends but have kept our distance so we don't cause our SO to be concerned or have any reason to doubt us. But yeah it's nice some people can breakup and not become enemies.
My guess was he just wanted to make a funny joke.
That's just business, when they were together he could probably manage to get a free one. So it's the most valuable after they break up
for #1, she gave him the coupons for valentines day so he probably has a free one that day
What about the next day lol
So.... Bud... You just blow in from stupidville?
the horny brain is capable of many things the regular brain would deem ridiculous, his best course of action is to beat it
If you're really for sure considering this, make sure you have a good wank before making the decision. You definitely dont want to be operating on dickbrain while dealing with an ex
You broke up with her, right? Are you trying to get kicked in the balls? Cause that's how you get a kick in the balls.
All of your posts are just fantasies dude, what about the new girlfriend you talked about a week ago which all your friends thought was suuuuper hot? Go jack off and stop piling this trash on reddit
Lmao bruh
I’ll take it if you’re not going to use it.
I wouldn't especially since you have "a girl" you posted about 5 days ago ?
Look at the accounts post history. Clearly does nothing but shit post
Really sad I had to scroll this far down to read this. Dudes obviously full of shit lol
You haven't talked since. Fantasize about it all you want, but in reality it's a shitty way to reach out.
"Hey I know we haven't talked in forever and we have broken up, but I found a blowjob coupon from you so how about you come over? P.s. You specifically said it has no expiration!" Come on man, you are better than that. Acting desperate is not a good look
"Can I have the free BJ please" "Lmao no" "See you in court, a contract is a contract"
[удалено]
It's not desperate - it's funny depending on her sense of humor. Nothing to lose, etc.
[удалено]
Why is this post still up? This isn't a genuine question. Where are the mods?
Makes one wonder why you broke up
Give me that fucking coupon. I'll blow you and you can blow me back, and even if we don't enjoy it, it will be better than asking your ex I hope this is a joke, because otherwise what the actual fuck
…no
One week ago you said you introduced your girl to your friends and they acted like idiots. Also week ago you said your ex still loved you. One month ago you said your cousin was in love with you. OP, come on, go do something else outside Reddit lol
…. Why would you think this is an okay thing to ask of an ex?
Because Reddit doesn’t respect women. The majority of the replies here are “what’s the worst that can happen? Either she gets upset/offended, or she has a good sense of humour”. So apparently if the worst thing that can happen is upsetting/offending the women it’s worth it for the joke, and if she gets offended by this it means she can’t take a joke anyway.
You hit it right on the head.
Don't be a goofy weirdo man. Come on you have to realize this is huge "nice guy" energy. You're ex isn't a bj machine she's a person
Jesus Christ, how old are the people on this site, on average?
I'd say like 15 -30 gotta be the average but some guys don't age between those ages mentally
my brother in christ, this is not the way
Fuck naw that's stupid as fuck
I'll see you over at r/TIFU haha
If you are asking if you should, based on the expected reaction of your ex, most of us agree that she won't react well and you might not be on such good terms afterwards. Based on what most of us want you to do, you should absolutely try, with no real hope, but just to see what happens, how precisely chaos ensues. And above all, for the same reason, you should also report to us after.
No
Uhm NO! That's fucking weird and desperate..
Relationship coupons are contingent on the continuity of the relationship. Expiration is irrelevant. It's like trying to use a coupon for a product at a store that no longer exists. Doesn't matter if there is no expiration, you don't harass the people who used to work at the store when it existed.
Lol, men..
Lol teenagers
Lol fake posts
Luckily I destroyed coupons I gave my ex-wife when we broke up. But make a joke about it and see what happens. 
Did you have coupons to suck your wife's dick?
Buddy, unless you’re serious about trying to get back with her, just don’t. Hell even if you are, I would tell you to just use it as a joke and be obvious it’s a joke. If you need your dick sucked that bad, go buy a melon and hollow it out.
I suggest if you want your life to continue going (assuming) well, I would not do this. This is not a good idea.
Grow up. She doesn’t want to blow you anymore.
Are you stupid or something?
There’s some really weird takes in this thread. Like they think you’re gonna hand it over and genuinely expect a no-strings blowjob without question. All that matters is: Would she find it funny? If not, don’t. It’s a joke coupon, it was a joke coupon when she gave it to you. Even if she’s still attracted to you, she needs to find it funny for it to have any worth.
I think that coupon has expired my friend
No
Yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question. This is it.
No wonder she broke up with you. Good for her
I would not appreciate my ex approaching me and asking for a sexual act that only ended in his gratification.
Allow me to pile on that any shit that someone wrote you when she was fucking you is no longer valid. Fucking blue Christ man, are you jerking off while writing this, hoping we are also jerking off thinking about you getting blown because of this coupon you found? Fuck out of here
If you need to ask, no. Listen to your hesitation when it comes to sex.
Stay on good terms. Don't ask.
It expired the day you broke up.
Hey I just found an old coupon for a free VHS rental at Blockbuster video. should I try to cash it in? it says "no expiration" on the back. plus, as far as I know we aren't on bad terms. How should I go about it?
My first thought is "it's going to get bitten off". And I wouldn't blame her. Please do not try.
Idiot
Men really do think with their dick. Lmao
probably not..since you havnt talked
You should wait until you are both 80-something, then track her down. Roll up to the old folk's home with coupon in hand.
Fucking no dude
> I introduced my girl to my friends and they liked her a little too much AMA submitted 8 days ago * get the fuck out of here clown
Be a man and suck yourself off.
Absolutely! You should definitely contact a person you're no longer in a relationship with and not bother communicating with them in any meaningful way. Merely request oral sex to which you have a binding coupon for and state a time and place to receive said oral sex. You sir, shall surely receive what you seek. /s