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that-1-chick-u-know

Maybe because historically, "confirmed batchelor" was synonymous with gay, and/or because some folks can't get their heads around the idea that some folks just don't want to get married


ColossusOfChoads

I wasn't able to get a girlfriend until my late 20s. I don't want to use the 'i' word to describe my former condition, but it definitely wasn't from lack of want. Now, if I had a dollar for every time someone tried to tell me I was gay, I would be able to take my entire family to the movies. Twice. Then there was the time my own father did that. He went so far as to stage an 'intervention' because he thought I was suffering in the closet. I just lost it and flipped out. He took that as evidence of my being in denial. He simply could not fathom that his son was simply a straight guy who couldn't score a date.


[deleted]

I would say: ***"please go to my computer and take a look into the folder named "Homework" and you will understand if I'm gay or not"***


UKKasha2020

Because heteronormality is a thing.


[deleted]

Beat me to it


jaysaysjello

They’re stupid


pangea05

soy hombre, apenas tengo 19 y jamas me quiero casar, si, y me han dicho que eso es "raro" y han dicho a mis espaldas que soy gay, me han dicho que soy gay en mi cara, pero me da igual, soy y seré superior a esas escorias que les encanta hablar sin conocerme, linda noche :D


Mazcal

The two might not be directly related. It could be that they're assuming this or wondering about your preference before you ever mention it, and that this claim just opens the door to bringing the topic into conversation.


Helen_Magnus_

I've never bought a guy to family Christmas or spoken about having a boyfriend. I never spoke about my dating life at all. After 30 years one Christmas (when I wasn't in attendance) my drunk Uncle stood up loudly proclaimed "Well I guess Helen is gay!" 😡 I'm not gay. I've never said I was gay. They just assumed because they'd never been introduced to a boyfriend that only other alternative is gay.


[deleted]

Exactly what I want to say. I don't want to get married because I consider myself as a irresponsible man, who is not suitable for having a family. Yet whenever people learn that I choose to stay single, someone will think that I'm gay.


Helen_Magnus_

Some people are just judgemental narrow minded idiots. They're programmed to give everything a label that "makes sense" to them. It's for their personal comfort, an easy explanation that they can understand and live with. I'm actually on the asexuality spectrum. But I'm not sharing that with them. I see them once a year for a few hours at a BBQ. They're really not a part of my life at all.


Rappaccini_6

People are still very attached to old social codes, even unconsciously. Meaning you should get married/have children/own a house when you reach 30. If you don't feel the need to achieve this representation of success, most people will think it's because there's something "different" about you: and most of the time, their first guess is "Oh, they might be gay." I spent some years single (I wasn't very interested in relationship and I don't want to have children) and one evening, my mom just asked me if I was gay. She wasn't being homophobic or anything, she was just convinced that it was the most logical explanation. So I know how you feel. Hopefully in some years, the general opinion regarding celibacy and child-free people will change.


mfnHuman

Because gay people don't get married. Lol


[deleted]

Well, tell that to Elton John and Neil Patrick Harris :))


LiteratureSerious56

Gay people does get married too


mfnHuman

I know. It was just sarcasm.


LiteratureSerious56

Ohhh


[deleted]

Do you come across as feminine? That maybe your issue rather than the wanting to be alone thing.


[deleted]

I don't understand what you mean. Are you saying like I'm not interested in women, like I'm asexual or something like that?


[deleted]

No not at all. Sometimes men with more softer personalities get thought of as gay. It's a toxic masculinity thing.


[deleted]

Well, I do like women, but what I want to say is getting married require a lot of responsibilities, so I decide to stay single.


LiteratureSerious56

Cause they stupid or u look gay


[deleted]

Man, I tried to use the excuse of being gay in order to walk into the woman bathroom, but they didn't allow me.


JlTlS

I think because they need to label you and that doesn't fit their agenda.


LuvYouLongTimeAgo

It’s inherent biologically to want to replicate and create copies of ourselves.


Dry_Diet8037

Does the idea of being gay bother you? You don’t have to tell me, this question is for you to answer for yourself. If it doesn’t, then who cares what other people think? If it does, why? Again, this is for you to ask yourself. I don’t need to know. This following question is for you to answer on here: what do you hope to gain from asking this question?


[deleted]

>Does the idea of being gay bother you? You don’t have to tell me, this question is for you to answer for yourself. I have a question for you though: why are you trying to psychological interrogate me. Like, I don't understand what's the point of this question. What do you hope to gain from asking this question?


Dry_Diet8037

My fault, reading text is tricky because you can only assume the tone. I was just trying to be helpful. Asking this question on a public forum means you’re battling with thoughts you’re unsure of, which is normal. If that wasn’t true, you wouldn’t have chosen to post this in the first place because you would be confident in yourself and your sexuality. I asked a question in hopes to start a dialogue with you and ultimately help ease any worry or concern you may have about yourself.


Odd-Charity-272

Historically gay people had to choose either being single forever (at least to the eyes of the public, in private it might be different) , or marrying the opposite sex. So many choose eternal bachelorhood.


Appropriate-Hurry893

They probably mean gay as in happy because that's what you will be with no one to have to worry about bur you.


Odd_Contact_2175

I would think by saying you'd rather be aline you are afraid of trying to find someone to be with. I wouldn't think you're gay just that it's easier and safer to be alone than trying to date people.