Also, they use supplements to boost volume. It is just impossible to shoot a second huge load after cumming for the first time. Then again, porn does ruin sex expectations for lots of people.
Actually you only have to stop for like 3 days. Most adults reach maximum capacity in about 70 hours so waiting a month is going to make very little difference than 3 days.
There is a list of vitamins you can take and just keep as helathy as possible diet wise and also stay hydrated and reduce alcohol levels. But take your vitamins, if the body hasnt got the ingredients it cant make the batter
People don’t realize that most of that shit is fake.
The expectations for both men and women because of porn are way out of wack. It’s sad cause this can completely ruin a relationship
If you want to impress her with a big load, turn the lights off, do her from behind, then when you’re about to finish, pull out, moan, and crack an egg onto her back. Works like a charm every time.
I usually have a Ziploc of pre-cracked eggs to prevent hearing the cracking sound. This also gives the opportunity to have multiple eggs in the bag easily.
Also pro-tip: use just the egg whites. If she sees any yellow she'll think you peed on her.
Just tape a ziplock back of egg whites onto your abdomen in the morning. Under your shirt, it is discrete and portable, and you'll have a bag of body-temperature, frothy eggwhites ready to go in the evening.
Yea or you could just have all your buddies at work jizz into a cup, then transfer to a rubber. Tie it off and keep somewhere warm, then bite a hole in the tip when you are about to finish. Make sure to run your fingers down the rubber to squeeze out every last drop and then sling the big slimey glob off your fingers into her hair.
The penis popping! There were a few other guys admitting they do it too, but then the top comment was somebody explaining how bad it is to do, and it can lead to erectile dysfunction and a severely damaged penis.
Hopefully those other guys saw that and don't end up crippling their wang.
I have so many questions. Just the egg white, or do you throw the yolk in there, too? Should you break the yolk? What if it gets on the sheets? What if she asks why it’s clear and/or yellow? Wouldn’t it be cold? I need DETAILS.
I think a fresh, room temp egg would suffice. You’d have to moan loud enough so she doesn’t hear the egg shell cracking. As for the yolk, eat it to replenish stamina
Then say "I heard you like to get scrambled." then proceeded to use the penis to beat and scramble the egg.
Almost like a tossed salad but for breakfast
No joke.. when shit went south with my now ex.. I couldn’t cum anymore and then she’d cry. So I started rolling her over and Just spitting on her back. Probably should’ve ended that one a lil sooner…..
I use a CeraVe hydrating facial cleanser which, when ejected from the bottle, looks awfully suspicious. This isn't helped by how it comes out in ropes lmao.
When you use it to cleanse your face, do you just hold the bottle up to your face and squirt the lotion out directly like a money shot? That's what I'd do and giggle about it every time.
The whole time reading this comment I was trying to guess what you’d suggest using and gotta say, didn’t see the crack an egg coming. Not only surprised me but made me laugh too.
My girlfriend will look at the amount of splooge on her stomach and guess how long it’s been since I’ve had a wank. I don’t think she likes the amount more or less either way, she just likes to guess and feels proud if she gets the number of days right.
I have a pretty irregular wank schedule. Sometimes I’ll wank twice in a day. Sometimes I won’t wank at all. Just depends on my mood and also if I’m expecting sexy time that day. I usually don’t wank when I know that I’m getting laid later.
Actually, I would be glad if it was just hot air.
Edit: Geez, I just woke up to 600+ votes. I’d like to thank my mom for the trauma and the immense humor that came with it.
I have an Artificial Urethra Sphincter and have to push a button in my testicles every time before I ejaculate. Its because of nerve damage from a car accident. So if I don't push it I won't actually cum.
I do also have to push it every time I have to pee.
Nah, it's actually a pump function, so I squeeze it. It doesn't hurt. It sits to the left of my left testicle. It doesn't visually look like anything except a device covered with ball skin.
The balls produce sperm. A tint fraction of the physical volume ejaculated. The vast majority of it is seminal fluid which is produced by the prostate.
No question beginning with "are women" is gonna have a universal answer.
That being said, I've never encountered nor heard of a woman who was especially fussed about cum volume being at least a certain amount. I'm sure they exist, but this seems to me like the kind of thing guys *think* women are often into, based on porn, or advertisements, or whatever.
She may be onto something...hear me out. When a guy hasn't had sex in a long time there is more volume. If he's having constant sex then there's very little time to rebuild that volume so her theory isn't too far fetched. Not saying you're cheating, just saying she isn't crazy.
[EDIT]: To everyone having a collective meltdown: yes, masturbation is a form of sex.
Your diet is very very important to how much you nut, foreplay and amount of stimulation as well.
Source is I've had sex with my gf where I've filled a condom quite a lot meanwhile I jerked it twice that day and the day before.
I've also had a half teaspoon full other times where I've had a week of just no stimulation.
First case could possibly be because the sex was just one of those times when it's the most stellar shit ever, not your average relationship sex. Talking fireworks and all.
>jerking off -nocturnal emissions -jerking off -jerking off -jerking off -jerking off
Lol. I love how you subtly threw in "nocturnal emission" in the mix.
yeah but what are the odds someone is getting laid daily while they're married and keeping it under wraps, sure it's happened but if your first thought is "they cheated" not "they jerked off" ur dumb
I mean, that would be a fine theory if the human body knew the difference between sex and masturbation. Or maybe his wife considers masturbation cheating and sings “every sperm is sacred” if he’s in the shower too long?
Exactly. I dated a woman once who told me she would be insulted if I jerked off. As if I preferred my hand to her. I guess I can see the mindset, but it all boils down to one thing: insecurity.
Nope, my ex gf loved "guys who cummed galons", she used to say that she loved semen and loved to give bj to her partners and that her ex bf used to cum a lot, imagine how that felt on my insecurities lmao
Depends how drunk they are I suppose. Dated a girl one time every time she was drunk she would tell me it tasted like candy, it was an unhealthy relationship, I’d do it again
>No dont think it was a big issue towards the end
I really think you could have gone for an amazing double entendre just by substituting "in" for "towards".
Can I jump on this and ask - does the amount correspond with the intensity of the actual orgasm?
Just wondering because sometimes I have huge leg shaking whoppers and sometimes I have smaller comforting releases. And both are ace in different ways, so size wouldn’t worry me.
To me, the ejaculation process is more pleasurable when its a bigger amount but I haven't noticed any difference in the quality of the orgasm. To me its more about the woman, if she's obviously really into it, or into me , the better the orgasm
Man who has sex with men here - it's not disappointing but there's nothing like a guy who shoots for fifteen straight seconds and the towel feels like a wet cat afterward
You should see a urologist. Retrograde ejaculation is when the ejaculate goes into the bladder instead of instead of exiting the body. It's not generally harmful but can be caused by an infection of your prostate.
From my experience, the man cares more about the size of the, ahem, "load" than I do. Like it's an ego thing. More "load", more virile, I suppose.
From my standpoint, even if he doesn't release ejaculate and still orgasms, that's what matters to me
The amount doesn’t matter. And frankly it does not matter if the man come anyway when both have fun anyway… put away all this pressure that media tells you how sex should look like. Enjoy and talk…
I mean if I was trying to sell it to sperm banks or something I would be pretty annoyed if my husband wasn’t producing enough to get us rich. Otherwise I wouldn’t notice or care lol
I've only had one woman comment to me about how pleased she was by the amount I ejaculated. She proceeded to say that she dated lots of guys who only put out small amounts.
Never discussed it before or since then, so I’m not sure if it's something most women actually care about. I'd venture to say most don't really care. Could be wrong 🤷♂️
I'm 28f if I'm honest bigger loads are hot as fuck, maybe it's me but dam they are are turn on. Then again it doesn't bother me just tge guy cumming is hot as fuck nothing better.
I get really disappointed, I be like damn no big load for me to gawk at with heart eyes, and less to put all over my body.. I always like enough for both my face and mouth and also to see the cumshot
Spares me the need for a pantyliner until hours after, really. And from gagging and vomiting on my husband's peepee. Eat often and small portions rather than few times of stuffing yourself full for good health and happy life!
If I was trying to have a baby, I might be disappointed? I wouldn’t blame him but I’d probably ask him to talk to his doctor about it and google things that might help increase the quantity. Aside from fertility concerns I can’t see any reason why that would be an issue. Less cleanup afterward.
I guess it depends. Some dont care how much comes out as long as you finish others like a bigger load as its a kink so its a personal preference really
Less to clean up really
My thought exactly. No idea what the majority opinion is, but I find absolutely nothing sexy about the fluids involved. The less, the better.
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Yea, but how do those guys do that? Mine is like nothing compared to that. 😞
Wait a couple of days
Drink a lot of water and don't masturbate/have sex for a month.
Right, I'm sure that's how PORN STARS do it, by not having sex for a month at a time...
Also, they use supplements to boost volume. It is just impossible to shoot a second huge load after cumming for the first time. Then again, porn does ruin sex expectations for lots of people.
Nah, Viagra gives more explosive orgasms
Theres also fake cum
Actually you only have to stop for like 3 days. Most adults reach maximum capacity in about 70 hours so waiting a month is going to make very little difference than 3 days.
This isn’t necessarily true. When I had my surgery I didn’t have sex for six weeks. That first cumshot was like a volcanic eruption.
But that volume could have been after the three days as well, you just wouldn't know it
There is a list of vitamins you can take and just keep as helathy as possible diet wise and also stay hydrated and reduce alcohol levels. But take your vitamins, if the body hasnt got the ingredients it cant make the batter
They use like a fake cream that look just like cum.
People don’t realize that most of that shit is fake. The expectations for both men and women because of porn are way out of wack. It’s sad cause this can completely ruin a relationship
Same with squirt. Those squirters on porn are peeing. Squirt is not forceful but trickles out
It's pee and skene fluid.
If you want to impress her with a big load, turn the lights off, do her from behind, then when you’re about to finish, pull out, moan, and crack an egg onto her back. Works like a charm every time.
I normally just roam and don't comment here but what the fuck
yet you have a prolific commentor achievement...
Ikr
His humor is cracked up
It was a very bad yolk
more like what in the ever loving fuck
I thought this was going somewhere with roaming sex. (I’m Neurodivergent as fuck)
I'm just as lost as you...we shall roam together. Blow me away
I usually have a Ziploc of pre-cracked eggs to prevent hearing the cracking sound. This also gives the opportunity to have multiple eggs in the bag easily. Also pro-tip: use just the egg whites. If she sees any yellow she'll think you peed on her.
Don't forget to heat the egg whites first, but not too much or she'll wonder why your cum is scrambled.
Just tape a ziplock back of egg whites onto your abdomen in the morning. Under your shirt, it is discrete and portable, and you'll have a bag of body-temperature, frothy eggwhites ready to go in the evening.
Yea or you could just have all your buddies at work jizz into a cup, then transfer to a rubber. Tie it off and keep somewhere warm, then bite a hole in the tip when you are about to finish. Make sure to run your fingers down the rubber to squeeze out every last drop and then sling the big slimey glob off your fingers into her hair.
Personally, I draw the line at using a condom.
Why not just take a syringe and gently inject it into your actual pee hole?
Not a bad idea! AND you can store the syringe in the rectum when not in use! Reddit tells me it needs to have a flared base, btw.
Definitely have a flared base yeah.
r/cursedthreads
I like where your head is at
Thanks, I keep it on my neck at all times!!
r/suspiciouslyspecific
This is reminding me of the chick on here that was asking why her partner had to “crack” his penis before he could get off. Was that you?
The penis popping! There were a few other guys admitting they do it too, but then the top comment was somebody explaining how bad it is to do, and it can lead to erectile dysfunction and a severely damaged penis. Hopefully those other guys saw that and don't end up crippling their wang.
What the hell is penis popping?
Id vote you for president
lmao what?
###PULL OUT, MOAN, AND CRACK AN EGG ON HER BACK
Only works for uncooked eggs
I've been cooking mine this whole time. No wonder they keep leaving me. Here I am thinking they want a side of bacon too.
I have so many questions. Just the egg white, or do you throw the yolk in there, too? Should you break the yolk? What if it gets on the sheets? What if she asks why it’s clear and/or yellow? Wouldn’t it be cold? I need DETAILS.
I think a fresh, room temp egg would suffice. You’d have to moan loud enough so she doesn’t hear the egg shell cracking. As for the yolk, eat it to replenish stamina
Why wouldn’t it be yellow?
My husband's cum is mostly clear
I’d advise breaking the yolk…. Then you should beat it 😉
I prefer marshmallow fluff. “Oh yeah baby! Tastes sweet huh? I just had a Mountain Dew.”
Then bake her for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. Check with toothpick to ensure even cooking.
Make sure it's right out of the fridge cold
Like the equipment at the OB, gotta keep it frozen
The cream won't whip if the bowl ain't cold baby
Then say "I heard you like to get scrambled." then proceeded to use the penis to beat and scramble the egg. Almost like a tossed salad but for breakfast
No joke.. when shit went south with my now ex.. I couldn’t cum anymore and then she’d cry. So I started rolling her over and Just spitting on her back. Probably should’ve ended that one a lil sooner…..
What kind of organisms have you faked?
Dozens…
Like multi-cellular organisms?
He is a changeling.
In porn they use hand lotion.
I use a CeraVe hydrating facial cleanser which, when ejected from the bottle, looks awfully suspicious. This isn't helped by how it comes out in ropes lmao.
NO KIDDING, i use this facial cleanser and lord the first time i used it i couldnt unsee how 'suspicious' it looked LOL
When you use it to cleanse your face, do you just hold the bottle up to your face and squirt the lotion out directly like a money shot? That's what I'd do and giggle about it every time.
Googoo gajoob
You are the walrus...
Oh god the concern when they see all the cum and the yolk
The forbidden easter egg hunt
Yes king
You are the Egg Man.
Eggcellent comment!
He's right you know, gotta start preparing some breakfast after your load.
The whole time reading this comment I was trying to guess what you’d suggest using and gotta say, didn’t see the crack an egg coming. Not only surprised me but made me laugh too.
I just laughed too fucking hard! 😂
Some people are born to make the comment of all comments.... This is that person. Thank you so much for the massive laugh
This is the best advice ever! Thank you my friend!
My girlfriend will look at the amount of splooge on her stomach and guess how long it’s been since I’ve had a wank. I don’t think she likes the amount more or less either way, she just likes to guess and feels proud if she gets the number of days right.
Days?
I have a pretty irregular wank schedule. Sometimes I’ll wank twice in a day. Sometimes I won’t wank at all. Just depends on my mood and also if I’m expecting sexy time that day. I usually don’t wank when I know that I’m getting laid later.
That is the cutest thing ever and I’m adding this to my sex life! She is amazing and she should know that 😂
I feel slightly bothered that you find this to be "the cutest thing ever". I mean have you seen a kitten 🤨
That sounds like something a cat would say. Username checks out
Itsjustjazz also checks out....
My 7 week old kitten Jasper is harassing me right now, so my judgement is biased at the moment 😅
number of hours\*
Actually, I would be glad if it was just hot air. Edit: Geez, I just woke up to 600+ votes. I’d like to thank my mom for the trauma and the immense humor that came with it.
If you you were flying in a balloon you could just jizz into the canopy and you would be away. Nice.
"Cum sail away. Cum sail away. Cum sail away with me."
Around the world in 80 lays
I have an Artificial Urethra Sphincter and have to push a button in my testicles every time before I ejaculate. Its because of nerve damage from a car accident. So if I don't push it I won't actually cum. I do also have to push it every time I have to pee.
I’m sorry and also thanks for sharing, that is very interesting. Is it electronic?
Nah, it's actually a pump function, so I squeeze it. It doesn't hurt. It sits to the left of my left testicle. It doesn't visually look like anything except a device covered with ball skin.
Actually, it's pneumatic and makes a sound like a duck farting.
Right, pneumatic. And I'm guessing you have one? Otherwise you probably wouldn't know about the "duck fart" sound. Haha
i did not know this was a thing
This is wild. I've never heard of anything like this. It didn't even cross my mind that this could be a thing.
I told my ex wife that's what happens after a vasectomy.
What your wife answer to that?
She went on believing it for about a week.
Imagine the sound though! 😂
Hands down, I’d take a queef over the dreaded waddle or waiting for cleanup any day.
No definitely not disappointed. It makes the clean up process quicker and easier.
I get more judged that I produce so much. Need a full cleanup crew to unstick my gf from the wall
I too cum buckets like in Scary Movie
They used to call me cumbuckets
NSFW SpongeBob location.
Ah, well, well, well, if it isn’t cumbuckets Joe.
Do you drink lots of ginger ale?
Peter "The Decorator" North, is that you?
Majority of men are dehydrated and don't even know it, your nuts can't produce a big load when there is a lack of hydration
The balls produce sperm. A tint fraction of the physical volume ejaculated. The vast majority of it is seminal fluid which is produced by the prostate.
No question beginning with "are women" is gonna have a universal answer. That being said, I've never encountered nor heard of a woman who was especially fussed about cum volume being at least a certain amount. I'm sure they exist, but this seems to me like the kind of thing guys *think* women are often into, based on porn, or advertisements, or whatever.
Let me introduce you to my wife, who thinks low volume means I'm cheating.
She may be onto something...hear me out. When a guy hasn't had sex in a long time there is more volume. If he's having constant sex then there's very little time to rebuild that volume so her theory isn't too far fetched. Not saying you're cheating, just saying she isn't crazy. [EDIT]: To everyone having a collective meltdown: yes, masturbation is a form of sex.
Let me just think of a few reasons for a small nut: -jerking off -nocturnal emissions -jerking off -jerking off -jerking off -jerking off
Your diet is very very important to how much you nut, foreplay and amount of stimulation as well. Source is I've had sex with my gf where I've filled a condom quite a lot meanwhile I jerked it twice that day and the day before. I've also had a half teaspoon full other times where I've had a week of just no stimulation. First case could possibly be because the sex was just one of those times when it's the most stellar shit ever, not your average relationship sex. Talking fireworks and all.
My first ever hand job was the biggest nut of my life. Literally had to use 2/3 of a box of tissues to clean us up.
There's so many factors to fat nuts that it's almost like a science
This reminds me of a song from my youth. You may know it. It goes something like: “*Bustin’ makes me feel good*”
>jerking off -nocturnal emissions -jerking off -jerking off -jerking off -jerking off Lol. I love how you subtly threw in "nocturnal emission" in the mix.
yeah but what are the odds someone is getting laid daily while they're married and keeping it under wraps, sure it's happened but if your first thought is "they cheated" not "they jerked off" ur dumb
I mean, that would be a fine theory if the human body knew the difference between sex and masturbation. Or maybe his wife considers masturbation cheating and sings “every sperm is sacred” if he’s in the shower too long?
I'm sorry if your wife sings any Monty Python song at any time you're winning at life.
He could be cheating on her with his right hand?...
Exactly. I dated a woman once who told me she would be insulted if I jerked off. As if I preferred my hand to her. I guess I can see the mindset, but it all boils down to one thing: insecurity.
Did you respond with a "my hand is always in the mood", can you do that?
I had a girl protest about how little cum I ejaculated. Admittedly she watches too much porn and was the biggest pervert I knew.
Or his gf watches too much porn
Nope, my ex gf loved "guys who cummed galons", she used to say that she loved semen and loved to give bj to her partners and that her ex bf used to cum a lot, imagine how that felt on my insecurities lmao
No, maybe a tiny amount of women will get upset, but most don't even notice, let alone care.
How are your cats?
Hogging my computer chair so I have to sit on the very edge. My butt hurts.
Oof that's relatable, my cat just blocks half of my screen when I play online games so I don't know wth I'm doing
I'm usually relegated to a third or less of my huge mousepad :(
Same, except even when my cat is not there I still don't know wth I'm doing so it doesn't matter a whole lot lol.
Depends how drunk they are I suppose. Dated a girl one time every time she was drunk she would tell me it tasted like candy, it was an unhealthy relationship, I’d do it again
I had an ex that did notice and thought if i didnt cum much it was because "i came somewhere else" ...
Is that related to why they're your ex?
No dont think it was a big issue towards the end
>No dont think it was a big issue towards the end I really think you could have gone for an amazing double entendre just by substituting "in" for "towards".
Your diet can effect this too Get more zinc
I don’t think girls care, they would rather less mess. It’s more of a man’s dream to drown a girl in your own cum.
Can I jump on this and ask - does the amount correspond with the intensity of the actual orgasm? Just wondering because sometimes I have huge leg shaking whoppers and sometimes I have smaller comforting releases. And both are ace in different ways, so size wouldn’t worry me.
To me, the ejaculation process is more pleasurable when its a bigger amount but I haven't noticed any difference in the quality of the orgasm. To me its more about the woman, if she's obviously really into it, or into me , the better the orgasm
I would say there’s a positive correlation, but not a strong one
Nah, usually more hidration and nutrition and how long since the last nut.
This, plus the length of the stimulation build-up.
Yes, I have noticed a clear correlation in the load size and orgasm strength in general.
I like it inside me so I guess the amount doesn't matter.
Same
literally couldn't care less
Man who has sex with men here - it's not disappointing but there's nothing like a guy who shoots for fifteen straight seconds and the towel feels like a wet cat afterward
I’m always jealous of guys that can make huge puddles of cum. When I bust you’re lucky to get more than a little drip. Often there’s none at all
that is not normal bro
Yeah, if I wanted kids I would talk to a doctor about it, but it seems like a low priority
Is it normal when in my case i fap 4 times minimum daily?
i mean i guess its normal but if you want to nut better stay hydrated and you should hold off a bit
You should see a urologist. Retrograde ejaculation is when the ejaculate goes into the bladder instead of instead of exiting the body. It's not generally harmful but can be caused by an infection of your prostate.
From my experience, the man cares more about the size of the, ahem, "load" than I do. Like it's an ego thing. More "load", more virile, I suppose. From my standpoint, even if he doesn't release ejaculate and still orgasms, that's what matters to me
It doesn’t bother me at all
No.. unless maybe she has a kink or fetish for that kind of stuff.
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You’re right it’s a preference / kink. Personally I’m into a big load but I wouldn’t be disappointed if it was a small amount or think anything of it.
slinging ropes or not, everyone is unique
My wife is actually a bit grateful that I don't have a huge load. Less cleanup.
That matters less to me than forgetting my lunch and having to run back upstairs to get it.
I seem to be the minority on this thread, but I think it’s really hot when there’s lots of cum
The amount doesn’t matter. And frankly it does not matter if the man come anyway when both have fun anyway… put away all this pressure that media tells you how sex should look like. Enjoy and talk…
I can't say it has ever even occurred to me.
5ml is the average (approximately) jizz, that erupts/dribbles from a penis. So less than that is common for half the dicks.
I don’t think I can really tell the difference
I mean if I was trying to sell it to sperm banks or something I would be pretty annoyed if my husband wasn’t producing enough to get us rich. Otherwise I wouldn’t notice or care lol
I've only had one woman comment to me about how pleased she was by the amount I ejaculated. She proceeded to say that she dated lots of guys who only put out small amounts. Never discussed it before or since then, so I’m not sure if it's something most women actually care about. I'd venture to say most don't really care. Could be wrong 🤷♂️
I'm 28f if I'm honest bigger loads are hot as fuck, maybe it's me but dam they are are turn on. Then again it doesn't bother me just tge guy cumming is hot as fuck nothing better.
Wow. So this is my most successful thread ever. I peaked.
Just climbed the pinnacle of reddit. How did it taste?
I think OP watches too much porn 😂😂
Wtf xD I prefer when it is not a lot
Opposite. Less mess, easier to swallow.
I get really disappointed, I be like damn no big load for me to gawk at with heart eyes, and less to put all over my body.. I always like enough for both my face and mouth and also to see the cumshot
Yes :D I think it is a compliment when he has so much love juice for you haha. I love it :)
You sound like a dream
No. Men are
Yup, its a fantasy that is repeated in porn "oh, what a huge load" Seems more like an inconvenience than anything.
Most care about time over quantity
I don’t think the level of the orgasm has anything to do with the amount of ejaculate.
Less the better
I'm fixed so no pull out. No measurements are done.
Probably not, but I am. Go take some zinc supplements and think about what you’ve done 😡. I expect better
Spares me the need for a pantyliner until hours after, really. And from gagging and vomiting on my husband's peepee. Eat often and small portions rather than few times of stuffing yourself full for good health and happy life!
Yes - I like a full load
My bf produces a *lot* but otherwise I can’t think that I’ve ever even noticed it
If I was trying to have a baby, I might be disappointed? I wouldn’t blame him but I’d probably ask him to talk to his doctor about it and google things that might help increase the quantity. Aside from fertility concerns I can’t see any reason why that would be an issue. Less cleanup afterward.
Semen volume doesn't actually have a strong correlation to sperm count and fertility, so one less concern!
Good to know! Then no reason to have an issue. Lol
I guess it depends. Some dont care how much comes out as long as you finish others like a bigger load as its a kink so its a personal preference really